


Signed, Sealed, Delivered

by NeverBeenSane



Category: Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Civilian Steve, For future reference: BUCKY WILL LOSE HIS ARM IN THIS FIC, Kinks featured include: crossdressing and men in panties/thigh highs, M/M, Pen Pals, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Slowest of slow builds, Soldier Bucky, Tattoo Artist Steve Rogers, That hipster/punk au with a twist
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-03
Updated: 2016-09-02
Packaged: 2018-02-07 08:07:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 171,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1891599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeverBeenSane/pseuds/NeverBeenSane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve Rogers was content with his life. He loved his shop, loved creating works of art for people to display on their bodies, had a tight knit group of friends who cared about him, and had finally paid off his student loans and the loan he'd taken out to start his business. But it still feels like there's something, or someone, missing from his life.</p><p>Everything's going to change when he decides to take Natasha's advice and sign up for a military penpal program.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Of Care Packages and Adopting US Service Members

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 02/18/16: minor edits for form

Groaning softly, Steve rolled onto his back and blinked blearily at his cellphone as it blared _Bubblegum Bitch_ obnoxiously from its position on his nightstand. Sighing, he snatched his phone up and swiped across the screen to accept the call. Putting the phone to his ear, he rubbed his left eye tiredly and said, "Hey, 'tasha. What's up?"

"Lunch at Styrka? My usual client cancelled on me and I know you're free." Natasha asked, her voice a little rougher than normal.

Glancing at the old-fashioned alarm clock sitting on his nightstand, he chewed on his bottom lip and, once he mentally calculated the time it'd take him to get dressed and run down to the bus stop, said, "Yeah, I'll meet you there in twenty. Thirty-five if I miss the bus and have to walk all the way there. Pepper joining us?"

"Nah, Stark's running her ragged with the opening of some new nightclub in Alphabet City." Natasha said and Steve could tell she was rolling her eyes in annoyance. He made sympathetic noise as he rolled out of bed and shuffled across the short hallway into the bathroom. He absentmindedly listened to his best friend vent about how annoyed she was with Stark overworking her girlfriend as he brushed his teeth. After putting Natasha on speakerphone, he set his phone on the counter and washed his face. Feeling marginally more awake, he picked up his phone and carried it back into the bedroom as he headed towards his closet.

Natasha had moved on from Stark and was now prattling on about the last bout she had in the ring with Maria as practice for Maria's upcoming fight night. Smiling to himself as he made a non-committal sound to let Natasha know he was still there, he shucked his boxers and plain cotton tee off and chucked them in the hamper to deal with later. Unsurprisingly, this was usually how his days off went. He'd vow to sleep until one in the afternoon because he could only to have one of his friends call him anywhere from nine am to eleven am to wrangle him into getting out of his apartment. Pulling on a pair of black boxer-briefs, he glanced over at the mirror sitting in the corner of his room and winced slightly at the reflection there. He couldn't really see it clearly without his glasses on but he knew what he looked like. Standing at 5'4" and weighing in at barely 95 pounds, he was practically skin and bones and the laundry list of health issues he had weren't exactly helping. There was a reason he decided to cover as much of his body with tattoos as he could, starting with his arms. Looking down, he traced over the intricate Celtic knotwork on his right arm that Riley had practically slaved over for months. He ran his fingers over the familiar shield and Dara knots that wound their way along his slim, and rather boney, forearm while allowing his mind wander for a moment.

"Steve? You still there?" Natasha asked, sounding concerned.

Shaking off the light stupor he'd allowed himself to fall into, Steve glanced at his phone and said, just loud enough for the phone's mic to pick up, "Yeah, sorry. Just got distracted." Once Natasha had gone back to their one-way conversation, he dug through his closet and pulled out a pair of tan skinny jeans, a dark blue burnout V-neck that he was almost 90% sure was actually Pepper's, a thick black cardigan, as well as a pair of wool socks. After dressing and running his fingers through his hair a few times to get rid of the bedhead he was always sporting after rolling out of bed, he put on his glasses since he didn't feel like dealing with his contacts today and carefully put his hearing aids in. He double checked to make sure that his medical alert bracelet was secured to his wrist along with his father's watch before picking up his phone and taking Natasha off of speaker. As he walked out of his bedroom and headed to the front door, he held his phone up to his good ear and said, "On my way out the door now."

"Ok, I'll see you shortly." Natasha said as Steve grabbed his keys, emergency inhaler, and wallet from the table in the hallway.

"See ya soon." Steve said and, after ending the call, shoved his phone, inhaler, and wallet in his pocket before shuffling out the front door and making sure to lock it behind himself. Padding down the stairs and pocketing his keys, he made sure not to overexert himself and subconsciously monitored his heartbeat and breathing as he headed out into the crisp autumn air. He walked the block and a half to the Court Street/Amity Street bus stop as quickly as possible to make sure he'd get there on time. The stop itself was fairly deserted at this time of day; most people worked on Monday after all. Using the few extra moments he had before the bus pulled up, Steve pulled out his wallet to extract his Metro Card.

Maybe a minute passed before the bus pulled up in front of him and the driver opened the door. Shooting a tired smile at the driver, he swiped his card and flopped down in one of the empty seats towards the front. Pulling his wallet back out as the driver shut the doors, he returned his Metro Card to its rightful place between his driver's license and his health insurance card. Slipping his wallet back into his pocket, Steve looked out the window as the driver pulled back onto the road and settled in to count the stops until he had to get off at the Court Street/1st Place stop.

Once off the bus, it was only a three block walk to Thor's cafe. Pulling his cardigan tighter around his body, Steve cursed his lack of body fat and his lack of foresight to grab a beanie. Crossing his arms over his chest, he urged himself to go a little faster than he normally would which subsequently caused him to be slightly out of breath when he shuffled into the warm interior of Styrka. He silently thanked whatever deity that was listening that his asthma had decided not to flare up today as he glanced around the interior of the small cafe/restaurant. Thor glanced up from where he was sorting menus and, with a wide grin, shouted, "Steve! My friend, it is good to see you again!"

Smiling slightly, Steve ran a hand through his hair and said, "Hey, Thor. Natasha here?"

"She is in the back booth, as always." Thor said, waving a large hand towards the back of the cafe with a warm smile.

"Thanks. We should be ready to order in about five minutes." Steve said, shooting his friend a smile before weaving his way through the half-full cafe to Natasha's normal booth. As he neared, his red-headed friend looked up from her phone and shot him a small, private smile as she slipped her phone back into the pocket of her jeans. There were still times where he still wondered how one of his closest friends had become one of the best female boxers in the state and hadn't abandoned him in her rise to fame. Then again, he did have a rather rag-tag group of friends that didn't even run in the same social circles a good 90% of the time but he wouldn't trade their friendships for anything in the world.

Sliding into the seat across from her, Steve grinned brightly and said, "Hey, was that Pepper?"

"Yeah, she told me to tell you that she says hello." Natasha said, smiling a little brighter at the mention of her long-time girlfriend.

"When's that new club opening anyway? It's got to be soon if Stark's having her run around like a chicken with its head cut off." Steve asked, cocking his head to the side and folding his hands in his lap.

"Two weeks from today but there was an issue with the liquor license that no one told Stark or Pepper about until yesterday." Natasha said, rolling her eyes and leaning back into her seat. Quirking a brow at Steve, she said, "Enough about me and my shit. How've you been? Sam said that the shop's been packed for the last few months. That most days you've even opened way earlier than you usually do just to get everyone in."

"Yeah. It's been a little crazy lately. I think it has to do with that article about us in _INKED_ that spread like wildfire on the internet." Steve said, chuckling softly and rubbing the back of his neck. Shrugging, he continued, "But the extra business has been good. I mean, I finally paid off the loan I had to take out to open the shop and my student loans. Peggy's been able to give some extra cash to her sister to help out with college expenses. Sam and Riley finally paid off Riley's hospital bills with the extra influx of cash in their last few paychecks. Nick mentioned something about him and Maria finally having enough extra cash between the two of them to buy a condo in Brooklyn Heights. Darcy said she's planning on taking her all the vacation time she's racked up over the past few years next month and using the extra cash to buy a plane ticket to surprise her boyfriend while he's on tour overseas. Which reminds me, you know anyone who can temp as a secretary for a month?"

"I'm sure Coulson would know, he uses a temp agency to hire most of ours. I'll ask after lunch." Natasha said, with a small smile as Thor walked over with an order pad in his hands.

"Friends, what can I get for you today?" He asked, grinning sunnily at the two of them.

"I'll have the smoked salmon sandwich with a fresh fruit salad on the side and a glass of ligonberry cordial." Natasha said, glancing up at their behemoth of a friend with a small, amused smile.

"And I'll have the ham and Jarlsberg with a side of fries and a glass of lemon ice tea, please." Steve said, smiling up at Thor as he scribbled down their order.

"I will be back shortly with your drinks. Volstagg should not be long with the food." Thor said, shooting them another sunny smile before striding off to the kitchen.

Once Thor was out of earshot again, Natasha turned to look Steve over and, raising an eyebrow, asked, "You still sending out those care packages to the troops?"

"I send one or two a month." Steve said, blushing lightly and shrugging a shoulder. It was pretty much common knowledge amongst his friends that he had a habit of sending out huge care packages to random platoons overseas with whatever extra money he had at the end of the month. Mainly due to the fact that his father was in the army and had always told him how lonely it got over there for some of the men who didn't have families to write to them and send random care packages.

"You know, Pepper told me about this penpal program that matches you with a member of the military to exchange letters with. I know how much you love making the care packages but it has got to have gotten expensive over the years." Natasha said, shooting him a worried look.

"Where'd Pepper hear about it?" Steve asked, ignoring Natasha's concerned look.

"From Stark actually. He connected with this guy back in college through the program and has been friends with him ever since. I believe Pepper said his name was James Rhodes but Stark always calls him Rhodey."

"What would I have to do?"

"Just go to this website and sign up. Once you get the name and mailing address of your service member, you can write them letters and send them packages to your heart's content."

"Huh...I'll look it up when I get home. What's the site?"

"It's adoptausservicemember.org. I'll text it to you." Natasha said, pulling out her phone and shooting off a quick text to Steve. She chuckled when his phone started playing _Bubblegum Bitch_ and, after he'd read the message to get the ringtone to stop playing, asked, "You still have that as my ringtone?"

"It fits. Unless you'd rather I switch it to something else." Steve said, shrugging.

"Nah, now I'm just curious as to what you have for everyone else." Natasha said, leaning forward a bit to rest her elbows on the table as Sif brought over their drinks and left without a word.

Taking a sip of his tea, Steve made a mental list of all of their friends' ringtones before he set down his glass and said, "Well, Pepper's is _Run the World (Girls)_ by Beyoncé. Peggy's is Nancy Sinatra's _These Boots are made for Walking._ Darcy set her own and threatened violence if I changed it since it is, apparently, her and her boyfriend's song. I mean, no judgment but who has Static Lullaby's _Toxic_ as their relationship song?"

"Darcy and her mystery beau apparently." Natasha said, smirking as though she knew exactly why it was their song as she took a sip of her drink.

Rolling his eyes, Steve continued, "Maria's is Halestorm's version of _Get Lucky_. Jane's is _Q.U.E.E.N_ by Janelle Monáe. Jane set Thor's to some Basshunter song that's in Swedish so I have no idea what the hell it's saying but it sounds like something he'd listen to. Stark's is Metallica's _Master of Puppets_. Bruce's is _Radioactive_. Nick's is Johnny Rivers' _Secret Agent Man_ -"

"Oh there has to be a story behind that one." Natasha said, chuckling softly.

"I swear he worked for the FBI or the CIA or some shit like that at one point. He's got that look about him." Steve said, grinning and toying with his glass. Taking another sip, he continued, "Phil's is _Skyfall_ because I swear that man is obsessed with James Bond. Like, unhealthily obsessed. Riley's is the _Mission Impossible_ theme song for pretty much the same reason. And last, but certainly not least, Sam's is Tom Petty's _I Won't Back Down_."

A beat after Steve had finished talking, Thor walked over with their food and set it down on the table in front of them. Grinning brightly, he said, "Here, my friends. Lunch is on the house today."

"Thor, you really don't-" Steve started only to have the larger man cut him off with a wave of his hand.

"Please, I insist."

Steve briefly thought about arguing but knew that, in the end, he'd lose once Thor pulled out his puppy-dog eyes and Natasha kicked him under the table enough times. Smiling weakly, he said, "Well, thanks, Thor. We appreciate it."

"It is no problem, Steve!" Thor said gleefully as he clapped him on the shoulder and nodded to Natasha. It looked like he was about to say more when Fandral called for him from somewhere in the front of the cafe. Nodding to both Natasha and Steve once more, Thor turned and strode back to the front of the cafe to help Fandral.

Natasha considered Steve for a moment before she said, "You didn't argue as much this time."

"Well, I figured I'd save myself the bruises from you kicking me under the table and save Thor from pulling out his kicked-puppy look." Steve said, shooting her a knowing look before digging into his sandwich.

"Smart move, Rogers. You're finally learning." Natasha said, grinning as she bit into her sandwich. Rolling his eyes good-naturedly, Steve snorted softly and refrained from rising to Natasha's bait.

Over the rest of lunch, the two of them chatted about Maria's upcoming fight and general gossip about their mutual friends. Natasha tried to set him up on another date with Phil but Steve declined as politely and emphatically as possible without being outright rude. One date with Phil had been enough for both of them to realize that there just wasn't any spark there before returning to being just friends without any hard feelings on either side. He could only be thankful that at least Natasha hadn't tried to sign him up for a dating site without his consent like she had with Phil a few months ago. That had gone over like a lead balloon with her friend/manager and Steve remembered being woken up at two in the morning by Phil calling him to vent about Natasha's meddling and her apparent inability to comprehend what it meant to be both demisexual and demiromantic despite herself being demiromantic and her girlfriend being demisexual. It had taken Steve three weeks of doing damage control to get Phil to even talk to Natasha in a non-work-related context. He knew Natasha only did it because she wanted her friends to be happy but sometimes he wondered what exactly she was thinking when she pulled some of the stunts that she did.

After they'd finished eating and they both had left a sizable tip, Natasha offered to give Steve a lift back to his apartment that Steve accepted if only to avoid the four and a half blocks of walking in the chilly late September weather he'd have to do otherwise. The five minute car ride was fairly quiet, only broken by the Russian classical music drifting over the speakers of Natasha's car, and Steve mulled over the decision of if he'd apply to be a penpal or not. Once Natasha pulled up to his apartment complex, he shot her a smile and allowed her to pull him into an awkward over-the-console hug. Chuckling as she let him go, he quickly bid her adieu before bailing out of the car and practically bolting up the stairs to the front door of his apartment building. Once inside, he bounded up the stairs to his apartment as fast as he dared. He couldn't help it, he wanted to get signed up for that program as soon as he could. Logically he knew that it wasn't like they'd run out of service members but he also didn't want to overthink this to death.

Kicking his apartment door shut with his foot, he tossed his keys and wallet into the bowl sitting on the hall table before striding into his living room, flopping down on his couch, and pulling the StarkTech laptop Tony had given him for Christmas last year across the coffee table to sit in front of him. Opening the lid, he turned it on and, while it was booting up, tried to stop his leg from bouncing so much. Once it had finished booting up, Steve brought up Chrome and typed in the URL that Natasha had texted him.

The site itself was fairly easy to navigate, if a little garish with its American flag color scheme, and, within a few clicks, he was reading through the registration terms and conditions; which basically stated a) don't use this as a dating site because that's not what it's designed for and it's pretty freaking rude to the service members if you do that, b) don't give out any specific info on your soldier's location or movement or weapons system or training operations or anything like that, c) if you must have a deployment ticker make sure it's "my loved one has been gone X number of days" and not "my loved one returns in X number of days" because that violates OPSEC and d) according to PARSEC you have to black out any identifying shit on your soldier if you get a photo from them. Checking the box marked "I've read and understood the terms and conditions" box, Steve clicked the register button to bring him to the next page in the registration process. He frowned slightly at the eye-abusing color scheme of the website but continued to fill out the form anyway. 

Once he'd submitted and confirmed his e-mail, Steve shut down his laptop and wandered back into his bedroom. Kicking off his shoes and setting his glasses and hearing aids on the nightstand, he flopped down on his bed and wondered, not for the first time, what he's doing with his life. Sure, he's got his own shop that's doing amazingly well and he's got a great group of friends that love him just as much as he loves them, but he still feels like something's missing. Something, or someone, important.

Frowning and burying his face in his pillow, he shakes off the feeling and makes a mental note to check with his super about getting that pet Natasha's been bugging him about. Maybe that nice Maine Coon from the shelter or the Siberian in the kennel next to it. Hell, maybe he'd get both.

 ~~~

Three days later, Steve was sitting behind the front desk, chatting with Darcy about the new _Jotunn's Rebellion_ album while using the brief downtime between clients to check his personal email. He blinks in surprise when he sees an email from adoptausservicemember.org sitting in his inbox. He'd almost forgotten about that.

"What's up, boss? You look like someone punched you in the gut." Darcy asked, raising an eyebrow at Steve and looking him over curiously.

"Nah. I just got a reply to an email that I forgot that I sent." Steve said, shrugging a shoulder and closing his laptop. He'd look at the email later; there was no use getting excited now when he had clients to worry about.

Darcy shot him a suspicious look but allowed it to drop in favor of asking, "So, Natasha said you were looking into getting a cat. You know....You're still young. You don't have to become the crazy cat person just yet."

"I'm not turning into a crazy cat person. I'm just looking into getting a couple of cats because I need _something_ to go home to at night other than an empty apartment and it's not like there's been any luck finding me a datemate." Steve said, rolling his eyes.

"How many dates have you gone on in the past month?" Darcy asked, frowning slightly.

"6, all of them pretty much disastrous." Steve said, swaying side to side on his rolling stool.

"Even Sharon?" Peggy asked, looking up from where she was re-arranging the jewelry display.

"I will still never understand why you thought it was a good idea to set me up on a date with someone a decade younger than me." Steve said, frowning. After a moment, he sighed and said, "At least she was polite. Some of the others were..." He trailed off, trying to find the right words without sounding like he was whining.

"Kinda dochey?" Darcy asked, shooting Steve a sympathetic look.

"Yeah. It's not like I'm not used to it. I mean, I've been this scrawny my entire life, but it gets kinda old after a while. Women don't wanna date me because I'm smaller than they are, men try to treat me like a women, and the few non-binary people I've gone on dates with pretty much told me they didn't want to date a guy they might accidentally crush in bed."

"Ouch." Darcy said, wincing slightly.

"Yeah. I think I'm just going to take it easy for a bit. Stop trying so hard." Steve said, sighing softly and shaking his head. He ignored the knowing look that Peggy and Darcy shared and opted to greet the two sorority girls walking in the door with a small smile.

After that, business picked up a little and the rest of the day passed fairly quickly. Before Steve knew it, it was 9:30 and he was just walking into his apartment after catching a ride with Nick on his way home. Sighing softly, Steve shut and locked his front door before kicking off his shoes by the front door and shuffling into the kitchen to grab something to eat. Armed with one of the left over Chinese takeout boxes from last night, Steve trudged into the living room and dropped his backpack on the sofa before plopping down next to it and flicking on the TV. He chowed down on his beef lo mein as Gordon Ramsey started tearing into a restaurant owner about their horrifically dirty kitchen.

Glancing over at his backpack during a commercial break, Steve set down his empty container of food and, after wiping his hands off on his jeans, unzipped his backpack and pulled his laptop out. After plugging it back into its charger and booting it up, Steve opened up his email to read the email from AAUSSM. Chewing on his lip, he clicked the email and waited patiently for it to load. Scanning the email once it loaded, he chewed on his lip and mulled over the information that the webmaster had provided him. _James Barnes, US Sergeant on his sixth tour of duty overseas. Jesus H. Christ, how long has this guy been in the Army?_ Steve thought to himself as he pulled out a notebook to start on his letter to Barnes. 

 

 

> _Sergeant Barnes,_
> 
> _I'm not quite sure where to start this since it's my first time actually writing a letter to someone overseas. I mean, my mom and I used to write my father when he was deployed overseas but I was just a kid back then and my portion of the letters consisted mainly of poorly drawn pictures and nearly illegible attempts at printing with atrocious spelling and grammar. Lately I've stuck with just sending out care packages to random platoons from this one website my friend Peggy showed me. And I just realized that I haven't even told you my name. Sorry about that. Sometimes I get ahead of myself without realizing it._
> 
> _My name's Steven Grant Rogers but most of my friends either call me Steve or Rogers depending on how pigheaded I'm being that day. Whenever it's cold out and I'm stuck wearing old-man cardigans and sweaters, my friends Darcy and Natasha love to rib me by calling me "Mr. Rogers." I think I'd probably be offended by that if Mr. Rogers wasn't such a badass. As it is I just smile and let them have their fun. Or take out my hearing aids so they have to practically shout at me for me to hear them. I've lived in Brooklyn my entire life, though I did move across town from Brownsville to Cobble Hill after my mother passed when I was 20. I'm 28 now and own my own tattoo parlor called_ Saoirse Ink. _It's actually a funny story how I got into the tattoo world but I figure I'll save that for another letter._
> 
> _I don't know much about you other than your name, rank, and that you're on your sixth tour of duty overseas so I've got a lot of questions. You don't have to answer them, I'm just really curious. Where'd you grow up? Do you have any siblings? Do you have a childhood memory that makes you smile every time you think of it? Are you close with your family? What do you do for fun? What kind of music do you like listening to? Do you have a favorite type of food? Dream vacation destination? Nickname that you absolutely hate but refuses to go away?_
> 
> _Since I'm pretty much falling asleep while trying to write this, I better wrap it up. Next time I won't wait until after work to start on your letter. Maybe I'll be a bit more coherent then too, who knows. Anyway, I hope to hear back from you but I understand if you're busy/in a remote location/whatever and you can't._
> 
> _Stay safe,  
>  _ _Steve Rogers_

 

Pulling open one of his coffee table's drawers, he grabbed an envelope and scribbled down the APO address the email had provided as well as the return address and a stamp. After folding the letter up and sliding it into the envelope, Steve sealed it and got up from the couch to set it on the hall table next to his keys and wallet so that he wouldn't forget to mail it in the morning. Yawning, he stretched his hands above his head and winced slightly at the slight pop of his back realigning itself. Shuffling back into the living room, he closed the coffee table drawer, flicked off the TV, and tossed the empty take out container in the recycle bin. After making sure his laptop was shut down, Steve shuffled back into his bedroom, plugged in his phone, removed his glasses and hearing aids, and stripped down to his boxer briefs. After chucking his dirty clothes in the hamper, he wandered into the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth.

Staring at his reflection in the bathroom mirror as he brushed his teeth, he decided that he'd fill out the paperwork for bringing pets into the building and drive over to the shelter on Monday and pick out a couple of cats. If nothing else, he'd have that to look forward to when coming home at night.


	2. Steve is not a crazy cat person, he swears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve gets a couple cats. And a reply from Sergeant Barnes.

      Steve groaned softly as both of his cats launched themselves from the floor onto the couch, landing directly on his stomach. Sam smirked and reached over to Steve to pet Nyota's head while Riley chuckled from his spot on the floor between Sam's legs. Looking at his two rescue cats, he smiled as Nyota butted her head against Sam's hand and Monty pawed at his hand until he reached up and scratched behind his ear. The light grey Siberian and the golden brown Maine Coon had only been in the apartment for a week but the two had already made themselves at home and acted like they had the run of the place.

      Natasha smirked from her position on the love seat curled up with Pepper and asked, "Regretting that decision to get cats yet?"

      "Hell no. They're my babies." Steve joked, grinning as Monty started purring.

      "I'm surprised your asthma hasn't acted up." Pepper said, tearing her gaze away from the movie to look at him.

      "Pets and environmental things were never really triggers for me. It's always been about my activity and stress levels." Steve said, shrugging a shoulder and continuing to stroke Monty even as Nyota climbed over his head and curled up in Sam's lap. There was a knock at the door and Steve groaned again before pushing up off the couch, leaving his spot to be stolen by Monty, and going to answer the door. He was surprised to see his neighbor Jasper standing there holding a stack of mail with a small, amused smile.

      "Mailman put this in my box instead of yours." He said, pulling out an envelope on top of the stack and holding it out for Steve.

      Glancing down at the letter, Steve took it and said, "Oh, thanks. Sorry about that."

      "No problem, Steve. Have a good one." Jasper said, nodding at him before turning around and heading back to his apartment. Steve frowned slightly and looked down at the envelope as he shut his door and wandered back into his apartment with his friends. The handwriting was messy but not illegible so he wasn't sure why the mailman had messed up the boxes. Flipping it over, his heart skipped a beat when he saw Sergeant Barnes' address written on the back flap as the return address.

      "What was that about, Steve?" Natasha asked, raising an eyebrow as Steve stood in the archway between the kitchen and the living room.

      "Some of my mail got stuck in Jasper's box instead of mine." Steve said faintly, still staring at the envelope. He hadn't actually expected Sergeant Barnes to write back or for it to get here so quickly. It'd only been a week and a half since he mailed the first letter.

      "What is it? A funeral notice or something?" Sam asked, frowning at Steve's reaction.

      "No. Um. It's a letter from the soldier I got assigned to on that website. The Adopt a US Service Member one." Steve said, shaking it off and tucking the letter into the pocket of his sweatshirt to read once his friends had gone home for the night. Looking at his friends, he asked, "What do you guys want for dinner?"

      "I'm fine with whatever, man." Sam said, raking his fingers through Riley's hair now that Nyota had abandoned him to curl up with Natasha and Pepper.

      "How about Indian?" Pepper suggested, looking up from petting Nyota.

      "Asya?" Riley asked, lifting his head up from where it had been resting on Sam's knee. The others made general noises of agreement so Steve pulled up Asya's website on his laptop and entered in his order before passing it around for everyone else to add theirs. Pepper, after making sure that she was the last one in control of the laptop, paid for their food and refused to allow Sam, Riley, or Steve to pay her back. Sam and Riley only half-heartedly protested before shrugging it off and thanking her when she shot them a stern look. Steve on the other hand, scowled and tried to argue with Pepper but she merely shrugged it off with a warm smile and told him not to worry about it.

      Natasha just smirked at Steve's pout and said, "You're not going to convince her to let you pay her back, Steve, might as well just drop it."

      "Why does everyone insist on giving me food? I do actually have money to pay for myself." Steve muttered, getting up and grabbing a bottle of soda from the fridge.

      "Maybe because we're trying to fatten you up." Sam teased, smirking playfully as Steve rolled his eyes and flipped him off on his way back to the couch.

      "Or we're just paying you back for all those cookies and brownies and shit that you make us." Riley added, grinning up at Steve as he flopped back down on the end of the couch. Monty was still sprawled out on the middle cushion and didn't look like he was moving anytime soon. Steve didn't have the heart to shove the giant furball over or off the couch to reclaim his spot stretched out on the couch with his head resting against Sam's thigh.

      It didn't take long for their food to arrive since Asya was fairly close to Steve's apartment and, once it did, just about everything else was forgotten in favor of enjoying their food and quarreling good-naturedly over the naan. The five of them continued to chat as they ate but Steve was too distracted to participate as enthusiastically as he usually did. He loved hanging out with his friends but he really wanted to know what Sergeant Barnes had written. Natasha seemed to be the only one to pick up on Steve's inattentive state. As soon as the meal was over and everything had been cleaned up, she yawned exaggeratedly before suggesting that they heady out. Pepper raised an eyebrow at her but didn't ask why she was so keen to leave all of a sudden. Sam and Riley, thankfully, caught the hint and bid Steve a good night before following Natasha and Pepper out.

      Steve smiled slightly as he locked up the house for the night and settled onto the floor between the coffee table and the couch. Nyota hopped up on the couch and curled up beside Monty as Steve pulled the envelope out from his pocket and looked at it curiously. Carefully opening it, he pulled out the sheets of paper inside and unfolded them so he could read what Sergeant Barnes had written. 

 

 

>       _25 September 2013_
> 
>       _Steve,_
> 
> _I'm not too sure what to write either since it's my first time having a penpal. I only signed up for that program because Clint and Gabe, two of the guys on my squad, made me and, to be honest, I didn't even think I'd get one because of the work we do. Not that I'm not glad that you're writing me because I really am happy about that. It's nice to actually talk to someone that I don't practically live on top of. I just didn't think anyone would get assigned to me and I should probably tell you a little about myself before I make a bigger ass out of myself._
> 
> _I'm 29 and my full name's James Buchanan Barnes, but most everyone calls me Bucky. You can too, if you'd like. Sergeant Barnes just seems a bit formal for penpals, you know? Incidentally, Bucky's the nickname that just wouldn't die when I was a kid but I liked it better than Jimmy or any of the others that I could've been saddled with so I got used to it. Now it just feels weird to be called anything else. I'm actually from Brooklyn as well. Grew up in Crown Heights near the Brownsville border after we moved to Brooklyn from Indiana when I was a just a year old. My sister lives over in Brooklyn Heights now. She was always the smarter of the two of us so she went to college and made something of herself while I enlisted right out of high school. We used to be really close growing up but we don't really talk much anymore. I think she's still pretty pissed off that I followed in our dad's footsteps and enlisted in the Army._
> 
> _I'm glad you gave me questions because this would have been an embarrassingly short letter otherwise. My music taste is kinda varied but my favorite band is Jotunn's Rebellion. MCR, BFMV, and Panic! At the Disco are also up there on my list of favorites. If I'm feeling a little old-school, I tend to stick with bands like Nirvana, R.E.M., or Journey. I usually read when I have downtime. Or tear apart engines and put them back together so they run more efficiently. Our squad has a weekly poker night if we're not on a mission, and sometimes even if we are. I don't actually have a favorite type of food but, when I was a kid, my mom used to always make this amazing tocanita whenever it got really cold outside and we had the cash to get fresh ingredients. My favorite childhood memory is of me and my sister helping her make the tocanita one night in the middle of December. At this point, I think my dream vacation is anywhere that isn't a desert or hotter than Satan's asscrack._
> 
> _Saoirse Ink is actually where my squad and I got tattoos on our leave last year but I don't remember anyone named Steve being there at the time. Maybe you were on vacation? Do owners get vacation? I'm not really sure how that works. If you don't mind me asking, what branch was your dad in? And, not to be rude or insensitive, but why do you have a hearing aid at 28? Are you sick or something? Feel free to add random facts about yourself. Or random facts about anything really. Hell, a joke or funny story wouldn't be turned away. Clint's yelling at me to shut off the light so I better get going, hope to hear back from you soon._
> 
> _Bucky Barnes_

       Steve chuckled softly and, setting aside the letter, pulled out a pen and a couple of sheets of loose-leaf paper from one of the drawers in his coffee table. Smiling, he started writing his response letter.

 

> _September 30, 2013_
> 
> _  
> __Bucky,_
> 
> _You didn't make an ass out of yourself. At least, I didn't think you were making an ass out of yourself. I can totally understand the not expecting to get assigned a penpal thing. I didn't think you'd actually write me back but you did and now here we are._
> 
> _Depending on when you went to Saoirse I was probably out with either a bad bout of bronchitis, a mild case of pneumonia, or that asthma attack that was bad enough to land me in the hospital for a week. And it's fine to ask about my hearing aids, I don't mind talking about them. I'm actually mostly deaf and have been since birth. My list of health issues are about a mile long and my medical history could probably fill the unabridged Oxford English Dictionary.    Between constantly being sick and picking fights with bullies, my friends are still shocked I made it out of middle school, let alone all the way to our high school graduation. I was a pretty angry teenager and didn't like bullies so I took my pent up anger out on them. I've learned to deal with my anger issues so I don't go looking for fights anymore. I still don't like bullies and that tends to get me in trouble when my friends take me out to clubs. Or concerts. Or coffee shops. Or anywhere in public really._
> 
> _One time, back in college and after the majority of my angst-ridden teenage bullshit, I got into a fight with a few guys at a Pride parade because they wouldn't stop hassling this group of first-timers and calling them posers and shit like that. Thor, Nick, and Bruce jumped into the fight once the one guy pretty much broke my face with his fist. We spent the night in lockup together and ended up becoming really good friends after that. And yes, the stories behind me meeting the majority of my close friends involve some sort of violence like that. Sam used to say that, on top of all my health issues, I had a terminal case of stupid and, while I can't really disagree with him on that one, at least I never jumped out of a plane without a parachute like he and his boyfriend Riley used to._
> 
> _My dad was in the Army as well. The 107th actually. He was killed in action when I was about six or seven. And I'm sorry that you and your sister don't talk much anymore. I'd hope that it's just because she's worried about you and not anything malicious towards you. I'm sure you're plenty smart. Unintelligent people don't tear engines apart and put them back together for fun or get to lead their own squad. What's your squad like, by the way? If you can tell me anything about them, that is. I'll understand if you can't for security reasons or whatever._
> 
> _Honestly, the only reason why I know who Jotunn's Rebellion is is because of Darcy, the secretary at Saoirse and one of my other good friends. I'll have to tell you the story behind meeting her sometime, it's kinda crazy. Anyway, she loves them and I think there's another reason besides just liking their music but she refuses to tell me what it is. I think it has something to do with her mystery boyfriend but I'm not sure. I listened to MCR and P!ATD a lot in high school/college but now-a-days I listen mainly to artists like Marina & The Diamonds, Janelle Monáe, and Scissor Sisters. Or artists like Nancy Sinatra, Nina Simone, The Zombies, and The Cranberries if I'm feeling like listening to something not from this decade. Though, Riley plays Nirvana and Pink Floyd a lot in the shop when it's his turn to have control of the sound system so I can't say that I hate them even if I don't listen to it much._
> 
> _As for a random fact about me, I adopted two cats about a week ago because I got tired of coming home to an empty apartment. Monty's a Maine Coon, Nyota's a Siberian, and they're both huge and furry and sometimes I wonder about their intelligence levels. Ny's a little screwball and loves to ride around the apartment on my shoulder; which if you knew how skinny I am, you'd know is a very impressive feat. Monty's a lazy ass who splits the majority of his time between being curled up on my stomach or behind my legs and sunning himself either in the window or on the oversized armchair by the window. As weird as they are, I wouldn't ever get rid of them because at least now I have someone to greet me when I get home and a couple of warm bodies to cuddle up with at night. And if Darcy ever found out I said that- wrote that, whatever, I'm not gonna get pedantic right now- she'd never let me live it down. She already thinks I'm turning into a crazy cat person._
> 
> _And this is a good place to stop since I feel like this is getting a little long and I'd rather not stick you with a 15 page novella to try to get through in your spare time. Hope to hear from you soon._
> 
> _Stay safe,_
> 
> _Steve_

      Setting aside his pen, Steve folded up the letter and slid it into an empty envelope before sealing it and scribbling down the APO address on it. He put Bucky's letter back in its envelope and, after heaving himself up off the floor, grabbed both letters and headed towards his bedroom; dropping the letter that he'd written off on the hall table beside his keys and wallet on his way past. Kneeling beside his bed, he dug around underneath it until he found the old wooden box of letters his father had written him and his mother. He carefully unhooked the latch and opened the box. The letters his father had written were still sitting in one of the two compartments, tied up with a piece of lace ribbon his mother had said was from her wedding dress. He placed Bucky's letter in the empty compartment before shutting the box and returning it to its place under his bed. Standing, he set his glasses and hearing aids on the nightstand before he started to strip. As each layer got removed, he tossed them in the hamper and made a mental note to do a load of laundry in the morning before getting redressed in a pair of flannel pajama bottoms and an _Arctic Monkeys_ tee. He wandered into his bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth with Monty and Nyota winding their way around his legs.

      Before he crawled back into bed, he checked the calendar on his phone to double check when he had to go get his next B12 shot and made a mental note to call his doctor in the morning to set up an appointment. After plugging his phone in to charge, he set it down on his nightstand and walked across the room to shut the lights off. He chuckled softly as Nyota and Monty sprinted across the room and leaped onto the bed, almost skidding off the other side, before he'd even taken two steps back towards his bed. Crawling into bed, he scratched behind Monty's ear and gave Nyota a kiss on the head when she head-butted his chin. Once he'd gotten comfortably situated on his side, Nyota curled up in his arms while Monty curled up behind his knees. With a small smile, Steve shut his eyes and let himself drift off to sleep.

~~~

      Steve untangled himself from his blankets and his cats sometime before dawn the next morning. Padding barefoot into his kitchen, he flicked his Keurig on and put a couple of frozen blueberry waffles in the toaster to heat up. The shop didn't open until eleven but he had things to do this morning before he headed in so he was up with the sun. He smiled to himself as Nyota wandered out of the bedroom and leapt on to his shoulder. She really shouldn't be able to perch herself there comfortably, given just how big she is and just how slim his shoulders are but she managed to do it anyway.

      He grabbed his usual coffee mug from the cabinet above the sink and poured himself a cup of coffee just as his waffles popped up. Pulling the waffles out, he tossed them onto a paper plate before fixing his coffee just the way he liked it. Grabbing his breakfast, he wandered into the living room/dining room of his apartment and set his breakfast down on the dining table. Before sitting down, he grabbed his laptop from its place on the coffee table and brought it over to the dining table.

      As soon as he sat down, Nyota shifted so that she was wrapped around his neck and her tail was swishing lazily against his chest. Once he'd booted up his laptop, he checked his email for anything important as he sipped his coffee and munched on his now lukewarm waffles. After responding to a few and deleting the unimportant, he opened up his Facebook and smiled slightly at the sight of all of the new photos that Natasha had posted last night from their movie marathon that day. He clicked through them and commented on a couple, liked a few others, and paused when he got to a photo he hadn't been aware had been taken of him.

      He was standing in his kitchen wearing a baby blue V-neck and his pair of ripped and paint-stained jeans. His arms were crossed loosely over his stomach as he leaned against the counter and looked down at Monty, who had his front paws resting on his knee and was meowing plaintively up at him, with a small smile and Nyota perched on his shoulder also looking down at Monty. He chuckled softly at Natasha's caption of: _Steve Rogers and the annoyingly endearing fluffballs known as Monty and Nyota (the brown Maine Coon and grey Siberian respectively)._

Darcy had already liked it and commented: _Ok, this amount of adorable should not be possible. I take back everything I said about Steve becoming a crazy cat person. I am SO coming to see these fluffballs when I get back from vacay. Also, Steve, your tats look awesome in this. You have got to let me photograph you for the website. Or my blog. Preferably both._

Shaking his head, Steve set down his empty mug and commented back: _Thanks, Darce. And fine, you've finally worn me down. When you get back, we'll take a Monday and you can do a shoot._

Checking the time, he closed out of his browser and downed the rest of his coffee as he shut his laptop. Nyota chirped in his ear as he abruptly stood and, instead of completely falling off of his shoulders, hopped down and bounded off towards his bedroom. After tossing his paper plate away and putting his mug in the dishwasher, he walked into the bathroom and poured himself a glass of water before opening up the pill cabinet and grabbing his pill organizer. Popping Tuesday’s compartment open, he dumped the pills into his cupped hand and closed the organizer; placing it back on the shelf and shutting the cabinet door again. Sighing, he tossed the pills into his mouth and took a couple swallows of water to get them down. He hated having to take so many but they were a necessary evil if he wanted to remain living a semi-comfortable life.

      Turning on the shower, he adjusted the knobs until he was sure that it'd be a comfortable temperature by the time he got in. He headed back into his room to strip out of his pajamas and grab a set of clean clothes for the day. Once he'd chosen his outfit, dark red skinny jeans and an off white Henley, he headed back into the bathroom to grab a quick shower before he started a load of laundry. Once he'd washed and dried himself, he pulled on his clothes on and wandered back out into his apartment. He could see the sun just beginning to rise out of one of his bedroom window which meant it was probably around seven. Grabbing an armful of laundry from his hamper, he walked into the hall and opened the folding door at the end of the hall to reveal a washer and dryer stacked on top of one another. Flipping the washer's lid open, he shoved his dirty clothes in and tossed in a Tide Pod before shutting the lid and turning it on.

       Walking back into his bedroom, he put his hearing aids in and dialed the all too familiar number of his doctor's office. Putting the phone up to his ear, he walked over to his closet and grabbed a thick, dark grey cardigan. Once he'd made an appointment for the morning of the 7th to get his B12 shot and a general checkup, he hung up and immediately made a note on his phone's calendar so that he wouldn't forget. Locking his phone, he shoved it into his pocket and slipped on his beat up black combat boots.

      Once he'd laced up his boots and pulled on his cardigan, he grabbed a black beanie that Natasha had given him for Christmas last year and pulled it on. Grabbing his glasses off of his nightstand, he put them on and scratched Monty behind the ear as he passed him. While he was waiting for the washer to finish, he made a few calls to his ink and jewelry suppliers to make sure that their orders were going to come in on time and downed another cup of coffee. Once he was done with his last phone call as well as the last few dregs of his second coffee, the washer's buzzer went off to signal that it was done with its cycle. After putting his load of clothes in the dryer and turning it on, he grabbed the black-grey-and-red plaid cashmere scarf that Bruce had given him last Christmas and wound it around his neck. The weather report had said that it was only supposed to get down to 59 today but he was always cold so he figured the scarf and the beanie couldn't hurt.

      Heading back into the living room, he grabbed his laptop, its charger, and his sketchpad and shoved them in his messenger bag. Before heading out the door, he stopped and grabbed his keys, wallet, and the letter he'd written last night and shoved them in his messenger bag as well. Heading out the door, he waved to Georgia as she came home from her night shift at the hospital. After making sure his door was locked, he headed down the stairs and out onto the street. Once outside, he headed towards the nearest Post Office collection box; which was a little over half a block away on Congress Street. After dropping the letter he'd written to Bucky off in the collection box, he walked almost a block and a half to the Court Street/Amity Street bus stop and caught the bus right as it was pulling up.

            Settling himself down in an empty seat, he stared out the window as the bus started to move and wondered what Bucky was doing at that moment. From what he knew about housing overseas, it'd probably be holed up in a tiny room in a B-hut without too much privacy. He made a mental note to ask Bucky in his next letter if he needed or wanted anything so that he could make a care package for him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eternal thanks to my beta for this chapter, [Laura](http://spookyookykitty.tumblr.com/). Without her, it probably would have been a lot longer and full of info that didn't actually move the plot along; sometimes I need to be told when I'm getting a bit too wordy with my descriptions.
> 
> As always, if you have any questions or want some more background info on this AU that likely won't make it into this particular fic, you can typically find me over at [my tumblr](http://never-been-sane.tumblr.com/). My askbox is always open and anon is always on.


	3. Don't drop dead on me, punk/Don't get blown up on me, jerk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone worries about Steve. Even Bucky.
> 
>  
> 
> 8/8/2015: made a minor change to a time line thing in one of Steve's letters so that it fits with the information in the upcoming chapter. No real need to reread if you don't want to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 8/8/2015: made a minor change to a time line thing in one of Steve's letters so that it fits with the information in the upcoming chapter.

      Around ten in the morning on October 17th, Steve shuffled down the stairs to the row of mailboxes in the building and unlocked his mailbox. Raising an eyebrow, he grabbed the lone letter lying in his box and, checking the sender, felt himself beaming down at the envelope. Chuckling softly, he tucked Bucky's letter into his messenger bag before shutting his mailbox. Bounding out of his apartment building, he headed off to the bus stop with a huge grin that he couldn't seem to wipe off of his face. Fifteen minutes later when he headed into his shop, he still hadn't stopped smiling and was even whistling a little. Peggy raised her eyebrow at him from where she was sitting on one of the couches that served as the waiting area for clients and asked, "What's got you so happy today?"

      "I got another letter from Bucky. Er- Sergeant Barnes. My soldier- I mean, the soldier I'm writing to." Steve said, blushing slightly as he hurried behind the front counter and set his messenger bag down.

      "How's that going, by the way?" Peggy asked, biting back a smile as Natasha shot her a knowing look.

      "It's going good. He seems like a cool guy. But, you know, I've only gotten one other letter from him." Steve said, shrugging a shoulder as he clocked in. Turning around, he saw the looks his friends were giving him and said, "No. No, you do not get to tease me about this. It's only the second letter!"

      "Steve, sweetie, you pestered everyone in the shop to see if any of us remembered him and his buddies." Peggy said with a playful smile.

      "I was curious! He said he'd been here before and that I was out when he was here." Steve said, pouting slightly and tugging at the sleeve of his button-up.

      "I wish I had been able to tell you more about him but I was a little distracted by one of his men flirting with me while I was doing his tattoo." Peggy said, shrugging a shoulder.

      "Did you get his number? Or e-mail?" Natasha asked, looking over at Peggy curiously.

      "Unfortunately, no. It was right after my break-up with Duffy so I was shooting down anyone who even showed me the slightest bit of interest." Peggy said, sighing softly and shaking her head. Frowning, she added, "It's a shame too because Gabe was really attractive and seemed like a nice guy."

      Steve frowned and said, "If you're still interested in the guy, I can ask Bucky for Gabe's contact info for you. If he's still in the same squad and hasn't been transferred out or something."

      "Would you?" Peggy asked, looking over at Steve with a barely concealed look of hope.

      Steve nodded and said, "It'd be up to Buck to talk to Gabe about it but there's no harm in asking."

      "Thank you, Steve." Peggy said, grinning brightly.

      Turning his attention away from Peggy, Steve shot Natasha a curious look and asked, "What are you doing here anyway? Don't you have classes to teach today?"

      "It's my day off actually. I'm here so Sam can finish up my sleeve." Natasha said, shrugging a shoulder and leaning back into the couch.

      "The spiders and roses? Or the Zhar-ptitsa?" Steve asked, pulling out his laptop to get some work done before his first customer of the day came in for his appointment at eleven.

      "The Zhar-ptitsa since it's on my non-dominate arm. The spiders and roses are going to have to wait until I have a longer stretch of time to let it heal without moving it too much." Natasha said, picking up one of the magazines from the table as she waited for Sam to arrive.

      Technically the shop wasn't open to anyone but staff until eleven but Natasha was a friend so Steve let it slide as long as she didn't try to take certain types of food and drinks into the areas where actual tattooing took place. He didn't mind when the customers brought back bottles with lids or hard candy but he didn't allow foods that were overly messy or open containers. He encouraged his customers to eat before they came or to keep their food in the waiting area. Some of the customers, particularly the young college kids, complained that he was too anal about it but the first shop he worked in during college hadn't been very strict about what type of food and drinks were allowed into the tattooing area and ended up getting closed down because of it. His defense to those who bitched was always: _you wouldn't bring messy food or open containers into an operating room or a doctor's office so why should you be allowed to bring them into a place where you were quite literally getting jabbed with needles that inject ink into the dermal layer of your skin_.

      Ten minutes later, Steve had just shot off an e-mail to a potential jewelry supplier when Sam and Riley walked into the shop. Sam grinned, "Natasha, you're here early."

      "Figured we better get an early start so you have more time for your other clients." Natasha said, setting aside the magazine.

      "Alright, let me get back to my station and get everything set up. We're doing the Russian firebird thing right?" Sam said, shrugging out of his light jacket and handing it off to Steve to hang up on the coatrack behind the front counter. Natasha nodded and went back to reading as Sam and Riley headed back to their stations to get set up for the day and Steve went back to double-checking invoices until Peter, Darcy's temporary replacement, came in at fifteen-til.

      "I'm sorry I'm late, Steve." Peter said, ducking behind the front counter and dropping his messenger bag beside Steve's.

      Steve glanced up from the invoice he was looking over as the other man flopped down onto the bright blue office chair Darcy had bought and asked, "What happened? You're usually early. Everything alright?"

      "Yeah, everything's fine. The power just got knocked out on my aunt's block for a couple hours last night while I was sleeping and it killed my alarm clock. I didn't wake up until the time I usually leave the house. And that was only because Aunt May came to check on me since she didn't see me running out the door like she usually does when I have work." Peter said, running a hand through his windswept hair in an attempt to tame it as he booted up the shop's computer.

      "Ah, well, at least you're here before the costumers." Steve said, smiling slightly and looking back at the invoice. Flipping a page, he said, "I finished balancing the books this morning so you don't have to worry about that. Just double-check that no one's double booked or have overlapping appointments and that everyone's got at least an hour break for dinner."

      "Sure thing, boss." Peter said, pulling up the computerized appointment calendar and starting to double-check the appointments on there with the ones in the hardcover appointment book that Darcy usually used. Natasha shot Steve a small, amused look as Peter started humming some 90s pop song as he worked. Rolling his eyes playfully, Steve chuckled softly as he packed up the invoices and filed them away again before he headed back to his own station. He was fully booked today so he double-checked his supply of inks and restocked his station before wiping down the counters again. Once his eleven o'clock showed up, he slipped into his professional mode and blocked out everything but his clients and the work.

      By the time five o'clock rolled around, Steve was starving and his back was killing him from sitting hunched over clients all day. He was privately grateful that one of his clients had called to cancel so he had a two-hour break instead of just the usual one-hour. After doing one last post-client clean up, he headed out front to grab his messenger bag from behind the counter. He let Peter know he was going to Styrka for dinner and to call him if he needed him. Once Peter had assured him that he would call if there were any issues, Steve headed down the block to Thor's restaurant.

      Fandral looked up from his spot at the host's podium as Steve walked in and, smiling brightly, said, "Hello, Steve. Do you want your usual?"

      "Let's go with the Lapskaus today." Steve said, adjusting his messenger bag and shifting from foot to foot. His back was still sore but he'd be able to stretch out in the booth after he ate.

      "And to drink?" Fandral asked, scribbling down his order on an order pad.

      "You guys still making that hot apple cider tea from the other week?" Steve asked, cocking his head to the side curiously. When Fandral nodded, Steve said, "I'll have a mug of that then, please."

      "Sure thing, Steve. You can head on back to your usual booth and I'll be right back with your drink. Thor's in the kitchen today so your food shouldn't take too long." Fandral said, shooting Steve another 100-watt smile before heading off to the kitchen. Steve nodded to himself and headed to the back booth that had slowly become his and Natasha's usual seat. Sliding in, he flipped open his messenger bag and went to pull out his sketchpad when he noticed that Bucky's letter had slipped down to the bottom of his bag. Smiling slightly, he pulled it out and carefully opened it so that he wouldn't accidentally rip the letter itself.

> _9 October 2013_
> 
> _Steve,_
> 
> _Holy shit man. I can understand the not liking bullies thing since that's basically why I joined the Army so I can't fault you with that. The pride parade incident sounds like you were completely justified in defending the newbies, pride can be a crazy place and isn’t nearly as inclusive or supportive as it should be. It’s never really been my scene because it’s just a bunch of people getting wasted and then saying and doing stupid shit._
> 
> _Do you not have any self-preservation instincts? What if those other guys hadn't jumped into the fray once that guy broke your face? What if you got hurt a hell of a lot worse than you did? I don't mean to sound judgmental or anything like that but Jesus shit, Steve. You have to think before you jump into a fight. Either know you can beat the other guy or know for certain that you've got people there who will back you up if you get in over your head. I can't count the number of times I've had to patch up Clint or Gabe, usually both of them, after they got into it with some drunk asshole in the bar who called me a faggot behind my back. But they always knew they had back up in case they got in over their heads or if the asshole's friends decided to join in. If your high school and college years involved as much fighting as you make it sound on top of being hospitalized enough times to fill the unabridged OED, I'm surprised you're still alive and I barely know you. I mean, I'm really glad that you worked through whatever shit you were dealing with and you're not intentionally picking fights anymore since it sounds like you don't need any help getting put in the hospital. I'm curious as to what it was that made you so angry back then but I'm not going to push you to tell me. You can if you want but don't feel like you have to. It's not like I've really given you a reason to open up to me about that kind of stuff. I mean we hardly know each other._
> 
> _My dad was in the 107th as well. Killed in action when I was seven or eight and, now that I think about it, it was probably in the same incident that your dad was killed in. My mother mom didn't let me or my sister Rebecca come with her to meet the body at the airport because she didn't want us to miss school that day. I still don't know if I'm entirely ok with that decision but I can understand why she didn't want us there. After our father died, my sister was really hostile about anything to do with the military while I still pretty much hero-worshiped service members. That's part of the reason why we had such a huge fight when I told her I had signed up. She said that she couldn't go through what our mother did when our father was out of contact for months at a time and that she couldn't be the one welcoming home my casket when I eventually got killed over here. I don't blame her for feeling like that. Not anymore. But at the time, I was young and stupid and really hotheaded so I said some really hurtful shit right before I shipped off to boot camp. I honestly don't know if she's still mad at me because we haven't spoken since then. The only reason I know she went to college and made something of herself is because she stayed Facebook friends with a girl I used to date in high school and she's been keeping me updated about how my sister's doing._
> 
> _And that's getting really depressing so I'm going to move on to something a bit happier while also answering one of your questions. My squad and I were all bumped up a rank last week so I'm now a Staff Sergeant instead of just a regular Sergeant. Not much difference in how my squad runs but the pay bump is nice. Clint and Gabe are my two team leaders and each of them have three people under them. Bishop, Falsworth, and Dugan are on Clint's team while McDonald, Dernier, and Morita are on Gabe's. I mean, we can switch people out depending on what the mission is but they have a really good rapport with each other on those teams so I try not to break them up unless I have to. Bishop's our youngest member and the only female on our squad but she's laid Dugan, our biggest guy, out on his ass more times than I care to count during their sparring sessions. I think Dernier and Gabe have a bet going on how many times Kate can hand Dum Dum his ass before he gives up trying to beat her._
> 
> _Not gonna lie, your cats sound pretty fucking adorable. Don't worry, I won't blab to anyone that you're every bit the crazy cat person you claim not to be. Maybe you could send photos of the little buggers? I mean, it'd be nice to have photos to put up on my walls other than the photo of my parents and the two photos I have of my sister and her family that Connie printed out from Facebook and sent me. But, if you don't want to, I understand. I've got to get going, we're headed out on a mission shortly and I've got to get my gear ready._
> 
> _Hope to hear from you soon,  
>  _ _Bucky_
> 
> _P.S. Try to stay out of the hospital. I'm being totally selfish when I say that I'd prefer that you didn't drop dead on me. And that includes staying out of unnecessary fights, punk._

      Steve chuckled softly and set the letter aside as Fandral set his drink down. The taller man quirked an eyebrow and asked, "Something amusing?"

      "Just this soldier I'm writing. He barely knows me and he's already worried about me getting into fights." Steve said, smiling slightly and looking up and Fandral.

      "Ah, well, you are known to run head first into a fight so maybe he's justified in his worry." Fandral said, chuckling softly. "Your Lapskaus will be done in about forty-five minutes. Our timing was just a bit off between starting the batches so there's a slight delay."

      "That's alright; I've got a two hour break today." Steve said, smiling slightly. Fandral nodded and clapped Steve on the shoulder before heading back to the kitchen. Looking back at Bucky's letter, Steve pulled out his sketchbook and flipped it open to a clean page. He pulled out his phone and flicked through the photos of Monty and Ny that he had saved to his phone. He picked out one of Monty lying on the windowsill and one of Ny sitting on the top of the small bookshelf in his room with her head cocked to one side. Pulling out his pencil case, he started sketching the rough outline of each photo on separate pages while occasionally taking sips of his apple cider tea

      By the time Fandral came by with his food, he was done with the outlines of both sketches and had started adding detail to the sketch of Monty. Fandral glanced at the photo and asked, "Sketches for your soldier?"

      "Yeah, he mentioned wanting photos to hang up in his room and, well, I don't have a photo printer or photo paper at home so I figured that I'd sketch him a few things instead." Steve said, setting aside his sketchbook and clearing a spot so he could eat without messing up his work.

      Fandral looked like he was about to say something but was cut off by Sif calling him from across the cafe. Exaggerating a sigh, he rolled his eyes good-naturedly and, with another smile, said, "Call if you need anything, Steve." At Steve's nod, he turned around and strode towards the other end of the cafe, calling, "I'm coming. Don't strain yourself, darling."

      Steve chuckled softly and shook his head before digging in to his food. Once he had finished, he set his bowl and mug at the end of the table and pulled his sketchpad back over. By the time Peter called him to let him know that his seven o'clock had shown up early, Steve had finished up the drawing of Ny and was halfway through the drawing of Monty. He assured Peter that he'd be back to the shop in ten minutes before hanging up and quickly packing up his sketchbook and pencil case. After tucking Bucky's letter in between the pages of his sketchbook, he pulled out his wallet and tossed enough money to cover his dinner as well as a healthy tip before grabbing his messenger bag and heading out; waving to Fandral and Sif on his way by.

      He hurried down the street and walked into Saoirse. Smiling apologetically at his client, he handed his bag to Peter and said, "Sorry about the wait, Jean."

      The woman shrugged from her place on the L-shaped couch and said, "It's alright, Steve. I'm early anyway. Besides, you have to get some meat on your bones. You look like a stiff wind'll knock you over."

      "Yeah, I know." Steve said, smiling ruefully as he led Jean back to his station. After he adjusted the lounger to lie flat, he pulled the curtain to give them privacy since they were supposed to be filling in her full back piece. As Steve rolled up his sleeves and washed his hands, Jean pulled off her sweater and t-shirt. He heard her folding up her clothes and setting them on the chair in the corner that was usually reserved for whatever friend the client brought with them for moral support. Glancing over at her as he dried his hands, Steve asked, "How's work going?"

      "It's going well. My students are excited for the fall festival next month. We're having quite a few perform in the talent show." She said, lying face down on the lounger and pillowing her head with her arms. Nodding, Steve started pulling down the inks he would need and getting his gear set up. He washed and dried his hands one more time before pulling on a pair of single use gloves and settling on to his stool. While he was filling in the outlines, he asked her a few questions to keep her distracted from the discomfort the needles caused. After a while, he had to have her unhook her bra so that he could work more freely and, by the end of her session, he had the entire piece filled in.

      "Now, you're going to have to have someone help you with the ointment." Steve said, switching out his gloves before he cleaned up her tattoo and bandaged it.

      "Logan and Scott already promised that they'd help and Logan's actually picking me up so I don't have to deal with public transport this late at night." Jean said, as Steve covered her tattoo with gauze and taped it off. Once Steve turned around to pack things up and clean up, she sat up carefully and slipped her bra off before pulling on her t-shirt and sweater. Shoving her bra in her purse, she followed Steve out to the front counter to settle the bill.

      Steve made sure to give Logan a copy of the "How to take care of a new tattoo" sheet that he gave to every customer, new or returning, and gave Jean another container of A+D ointment due to the sheer size of her tattoo. Once the pair had settled the bill and taken their leave, Steve went back to his station and did his final cleanup of the night. By the time he was done, it was nearing ten o'clock and most of his friends had already cleaned up and headed home for the night. He walked out front and was surprised to see Peter still there.

      Blinking, Steve asked, "Peter, what are you still doing here?"

      "Oh, I was just balancing the books. Figured I'd save you some work so you could get home and get some sleep." Peter replied, shooting Steve a tired smile as he packed up what he was working on. Leaning back in the computer chair, Peter motioned to the front area of the shop and said, "I already locked up the jewelry cases, vacuumed the floors, and sanitized the counters and the coffee table."

      "Thanks, Peter. You really didn't have to." Steve said, smiling and grabbing his bag.

      "It saves you work and I know Darcy usually does this so it is kinda my job as her temp." Peter said, grinning and grabbing his own bag.

      "You talked to Darcy?" Steve asked, shutting off the lights.

      "Yeah, she called last week to make sure you're not killing yourself by trying to take over most of her job as well as doing your own." Peter said, slipping his messenger bag over his head and following Steve out. He helped Steve pull back the metal grates on the front windows and the door. They walked as far as the bus stop, where Peter waved goodbye and continued on to the subway station.

      Steve didn't walk through the front door until ten-thirty. When he did, Ny and Monty came racing out of the living room to greet him. Chuckling softly, he reached down and scratched both of them behind the ear as he nudged the door closed with his foot. He smiled at them and said, "Alrighty guys. Let me get in and settled, then I'll give you some attention."

      Ny and Monty wound their way around his feet as he walked into the living room and dropped down between the couch and the coffee table. He chuckled softly as Ny climbed into his lap and head-butted his chin insistently. Planting a kiss on the top of her head, he said, "I love you too, baby girl." Monty chirped up at him and curled up in his lap while Ny climbed on to his shoulders. As soon as his cats had gotten settled, Steve pulled out his phone, sketchbook, and pencil case. Once he finished up the drawing of Monty sunning himself on the windowsill, Steve carefully tore both drawings out of his sketchbook and set them aside to spray with a sealer before he went to bed. He pulled out a few pieces of loose-leaf paper and a pen from one of the drawers, carefully as to not upset Nyota or Monty from their spots.

> _October 17, 2013_
> 
> _Bucky,_
> 
> _My self-preservation instincts were nearly non-existent up until a few years ago and that got me in to trouble more than once. I realize that I've been very fortunate that I've been around people who are willing to help me out when I do get in over my head. After the Pride parade incident, Natasha and Sam pretty much staged an intervention to try to knock some sense into me. It worked well enough. I haven't been in a major fistfight since then and that was about ten years ago. There's still small scuffles when a guy won't take no for an answer from a woman at Inferno or when the some of the older men hassle the barely legal guys at Babylon but I always make sure that at least one of my friends is sober enough to help out. I know I made it sound like I was fighting pretty much every week, and there was a time where I was, but it's not like that anymore so you don't have to worry about me dropping dead on you. At least, not from a broken face or a cracked rib or something like that. My body may still decide to just stop working but as long as I keep taking my heart meds and keep my asthma under control, I'll be fine._
> 
> _Have you been to many pride parades? Not to be too invasive but are you a member of the queer community or are you an ally? It doesn't make a difference to me if you're queer or an ally but I'm curious about how you're involved with the community. The reason why I was so defensive of the newbies is because I’ve had some shitty experiences with people, both allies and people in the queer community, trying to say my identity doesn’t exist or claiming that I'm mislabeling myself and I wanted to protect them from that. Personally, I identify as panromantic demisexual which just means that I can form romantic attachments to anyone but I'm only sexually attracted to people I form a strong emotional connection with._
> 
> _The reason why I was so angry as a kid had a lot to do with how sick I was and my classmates’ reactions to my father's death. I was okay for a couple months after my dad died but then school started up again and kids were extremely cruel about it. I remember one kid telling me that it was my fault my father was killed because who would want to come home to a kid who was so sick all the time. I didn't know what to say to that and even though, logically, I knew he was wrong, I also kind of believed him. I ended up blaming myself and hating my body for being so frail and small. It went on like that for a couple years and I lost pretty much all of my friends, save for Sam and Natasha, because I pushed everyone away. Those two refused to allow me to push them away, no matter what I said to them. And I said some pretty mean shit and used whatever I could to hurt them so they'd just leave me alone to wallow in my self-pity but they never did. Puberty didn't help the situation at all. All of my classmates’ bodies were changing and, even though my voice dropped in pitch, my body didn't change at all and I hated it. I hated myself and I hated bullies and, by some weirdass teenager logic, I figured if I fought enough bullies that maybe I wouldn't hate myself so much. I realize now that that makes absolutely no sense but at the time it did._
> 
> _Around the time I was turning seventeen, I tried to bulk up by jogging and lifting weights. I guess my reasoning was that even though I was shorter than the vast majority, I didn't have to be skinny as a rail. All I ended up doing was landing myself in the hospital due to a massive asthma attack that almost killed me. It was stupid and I scared both my mom and Natasha; who was living with us at the time. A day or two after I got home, Sam came to visit me and ended up yelling at me and threatening to beat my ass if I ever scared either of them like that again. I've never seen him that scared before and I never saw him that scared again until Riley landed in the hospital after getting hit with an IED._
> 
> _After that incident, he and Natasha pretty much forced me into therapy. If not for myself or for them, than to at least do it so my mother could stop worrying that I'd get myself killed trying to prove that I wasn't a burden and that I could take care of myself. Once we graduated, Sam went into the Air Force, Natasha started working at a gym and doing night school to become a trainer, and I went to art school. I spent so much time as a kid holed up in my room because I was sick that it was either learn to draw, learn to write, or lose my mind. I chose to learn to draw and pretty much taught myself until I could get into actual classes._
> 
> _I ended up getting into the tattoo business by chance actually. I needed a job to support myself since I didn't want to burden my mom anymore and I happened to meet Nick, the big black guy with the eye patch at Saoirse, through Natasha. He heard I was job hunting and said that the tattoo shop where he was working needed a new receptionist. So I ended up working with Nick throughout all four years of college and, little by little, learning how to tattoo from him in our spare time. Once I graduated with my BA, I became a full-time apprentice and ended up becoming a full-blown tattoo artist in about six months. Six months after that, the owner got shut down due to sanitation reasons and left Nick and I, the only two who actually followed procedures to the letter and were anal about sanitizing everything, without a job. I decided to take out a loan, bought a store space, renovated, and launched Saoirse Ink._
> 
> _Nick decided to stay with me and I ended up bringing in Peggy, who I met through one of my life drawing classes, because she wasn't happy with the way her boss was running the shop she used to work at. By that time, Sam and Riley had both been forced out of the Air Force under DADT and needed jobs so I had them come in as apprentices for Peggy and Nick. Darcy ended up working for us around the time Sam and Riley came off of apprenticeship because she quit her old job due to an incident that I'm not allowed to discuss with anyone under penalty of castration with a rusty spoon. And now, three years later, business is thriving, I've paid off all my debt, and I'm relatively happy with myself and my life. A little lonely but still content._
> 
> _When I started this letter, I really didn't intend to write you a full on novella about my life but it kind of got away from me and I ended up spilling pretty much everything. After re-reading what I've written, I've realized that this letter is really depressing and I really did not mean for that to happen so I'm sorry about that. To end on a happy note, I'm enclosing two drawings I did of Monty and Ny. I don't have photo paper or a photo printer so I figured a couple drawings would be a good substitute for now. On my next day off, I'll go around the city with Peggy and we'll take some photos for you to hang up on your wall. And, I was thinking about putting together a box for you since the holidays are coming up soon and all. Is there anything that you need or would like? Let me know and I'll try to get whatever it is for you._
> 
> _I'm going to end this little novella here before it gets any longer because it's closing in on midnight and I've got to get up early tomorrow. Hope to hear from you soon. And, for the love of God, stay safe on your missions. I really don't want to hear that you've been blown up or something. You know, for purely selfish reasons._
> 
> _Seriously.  
>  _ _Stay safe, jerk,  
>  _ _Steve_

      Leaning back against the couch, Steve rubbed his eye and blinked a few times until his vision cleared. Re-reading the letter, he cursed under his breath when he realized that he'd forgotten to ask about Gabe for Peggy and quickly added a post-script.

> _P.S. Peggy was wondering if Gabe was still interested in her. If he is, can I give her his APO or e-mail? Because she'd really like to reconnect with him. She'd just gone through a breakup when they met and she's regretting not giving him a chance. I told her I'd ask. No pressure or anything._

      Collecting the papers, he quickly numbered them in the upper right hand corner so that they could be put back in order if they somehow ended up getting out of order. After nudging Nyota off of his shoulders and getting Monty out of his lap, he stood up and stretched his back out; wincing at the way his spine popped and shifted. He headed back to his bedroom and grabbed a can of workable fixant to seal the drawings with before heading back into the living room. After placing a couple sheets of newspaper down on a side table by the windows and securing the newspaper and the drawings with paperweights, he cracked windows and covered his nose and mouth with his t-shirt before he sprayed the drawings with the fixant. Once he was sure that the papers were coated, he headed back to the coffee table and dug out a slightly larger envelope than he'd used before.

            The drawings would have to dry overnight before he could fold them up and put them in the envelope with the letter but there was no reason he couldn't fill out the envelope right now. After scribbling down Bucky's APO and his own return address, Steve folded up his letter and slid it into the envelope. Setting the unsealed envelope down next to the drawings, he headed back to his bedroom with Nyota and Monty trailing behind him. After removing his glasses and his hearing aids, Steve plugged in his phone and set his alarm before stripping down to his boxer briefs and flopping down on the bed face first; far too tired to even contemplate putting on pajamas. He'd get up early tomorrow and make sure that he got Bucky's letter in the collection box before the mail carrier picked it up at ten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eternal thanks to [my lovely beta](spookyookykitty.tumblr.com) for offering some alternatives to certain sections that were a bit wonky and giving me insight into subjects where my own knowledge was sorely lacking.
> 
> I made a small change in chapter two yesterday. I switched out where Bucky's family relocated to after realizing that the neighborhood that I put him in originally (Flatbush) was no where near where Steve was (Brownsville). Oopsie. Anyway, you don't have to go back and re-read chapter two since the only change is that Buck's family moved to the Crown Heights neighborhood instead of Flatbush. Yeah, I'm a little geographically challenged.
> 
> As always, feel free to stop by [my Tumblr](never-been-sane.tumblr.com) to ask questions about this fic or discuss headcannons or whatever.


	4. Of Friends, new and old, and Brooklyn Outings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and company head out on the town to get photos for Bucky and shenanigans ensue. 
> 
> Bucky's a lil shit who doesn't know how to ask for things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: Just a small change that gives some information that I probably shouldn't've withheld since it wasn't vital to the plot. Minor error on my part and it'll likely get repeated in a later chapter. 12/12/14

On the morning of October 28th, Steve woke before the sun and rushed through his morning routine so that he could get up to the rooftop before the sun rose. He and Peggy had planned on meeting up later that morning to go around town but he knew the view of the sunrise from his roof top was gorgeous so he wanted to get in a few shots. After bundling up in his leather jacket and pulling on a thick knit beanie, he pocketed his inhaler and booked it up the three flights of stairs to get to the roof with the camera Darcy had given him for his birthday. He made it to the roof top just in time to see the first tendrils of light peaking over the horizon. Grinning, he lifted up his camera and quickly snapped a few frames. He waited a couple minutes before snapping a few more and repeated the pattern of waiting and snapping photos until the sun had fully risen.

      Once he was happy with the amount of options he had, he headed back down to his apartment and stripped out of his coat. Booting up his laptop, he uploaded the pictures to his computer so that he'd have more space on his memory card for whatever places he and Peggy visited later that day. After uploading the photos, he sorted them into a special folder and made sure he had all of his stuff packed up in his messenger bag. Checking the time, he noticed he still had about an hour until Peggy was supposed to come over so he fed Monty and Ny and cleaned out their litter boxes; which had been craftily hidden in three different spots in his apartment thanks to a DIY IKEA hack for hiding litter boxes he'd found on the internet and Tony's incessant need to improve the design of anything and everything.

            After making sure that the dirty litter was properly disposed of and washing his hands, Steve flopped down on his sofa to wait for Peggy and shot off a text to Darcy asking how her vacation was going. Barely a minute later, his phone vibrated in his hand. 

 

 

>       _From: Darcy  
> _ _It was amazing. Went sightseeing w/ the bf when he wasn't busy w/ work. Came back early 2b a homebody 4 a bit b4 I had 2 go back 2 work. What're you doing today?_
> 
> _To: Darcy  
> _ _Peggy and I are going around Brooklyn and taking photos for Bucky._
> 
> _From: Darcy  
> _ _Who's Bucky?_
> 
> _From: Darcy  
> _ _Omg, Steven Grant Rogers, did you get a boyfriend without telling me?! Traitor!_
> 
> _To: Darcy  
> _ _He's NOT my boyfriend. No matter what Peggy and Natasha may say. He's just this soldier I'm writing. He wanted photos to hang up so we're taking some for him._
> 
> _From: Darcy  
> _ _Uh-huh. Ok. Have you guys set places to go?_
> 
> _To: Darcy  
> _ _Uh....no. I think we figured that we'd do that as we went._
> 
> _From: Darcy  
> _ _Omg, amateurs. I'm coming with you two. Are you just doing Brooklyn? I've got some photos I'd be willing to share with your not-boyfriend if that's the case._
> 
> _To: Darcy  
> _ _Darce, you really don't have to._
> 
> _From: Darcy  
> _ _Too late, Stevie. I'm already out the door with my camera and my laptop. Is Peggy there yet?_
> 
> _To: Darcy  
> _ _She's supposed to show up in about half an hour._
> 
> _From: Darcy  
> _ _Sweet, I'll get there before her. I'll text her and let her know what's going on. Start brainstorming places you'd like to show your not-boyfriend._  

      Steve sighed softly and pocketed his phone. Sitting up, he pulled a small notepad and a pen out of one of the drawers in his coffee table. Chewing on his lip, he mentally ran through all the places in Brooklyn he could think of that might be good spots for photos. Twenty minutes and six bullet points later, Darcy waltzed into his apartment and said, "Your photography savoir has arrived."

      "Hey Darce." Steve called, tapping his pen against the notepad.

      "How many places have you got?" Darcy asked, setting her backpack on the dining room table and flopping down on the loveseat.

      "Six. His old neighborhood, Brooklyn Bridge, the carousel in Prospect Park, the Vale of Cashmere, Coney Island boardwalk, and the Brooklyn Heights Promenade. I also got some sunrise shots from the roof this morning."

      "Smart thinking, Stevie." Darcy said, grinning brightly when Nyota hopped up into her lap and meowed at her. Scratching behind her ear, Darcy said, "And I think those spots will be awesome. I didn't even consider the carousel."

      "When we were kids, I used to go there a lot during the summer with Sam and Natasha. It won't be open to the public but we can get some photos of the outside." Steve said, shrugging a shoulder and looking up when there was a knock on his front door. Setting down his pen and notepad, he heaved himself up off the couch and went to get the door. He frowned in confusion when he saw not only Peggy but Natasha, Sam, and Phil standing on the other side of his door. Raising an eyebrow, he said, "C'mon in guys. Darcy's already here."

      Everyone filed in but Peggy hung back for a moment. She smiled a little guiltily at him and said, "I told Natasha what we were doing and she pulled a Darcy on me."

      "It's alright. Now I can show Buck my friends while also getting landscape shots for him." Steve said, shrugging a shoulder and shutting the door behind Peggy.

      "Did you think of any places?" She asked, cocking her head to one side.

      "I've got a list of six." Steve said, leading her back into the living room. Sam and Natasha were sitting on the couch while Phil was standing by the window petting Monty.

      "Where we off to today, Steve?" Natasha asked, looking up at him.

      "Somewhere in Crown Heights near the Brownsville boarder, Brooklyn Bridge, the carousel in Prospect Park, the Vale of Cashmere, Coney Island boardwalk, and the Brooklyn Heights Promenade. Not necessarily in that order but yeah. That's what I got."

      "Isn't the carousel closed?" Peggy asked, frowning slightly.

      "I figured we'd just get photos of the outside since we're always working when it's open to the public." Steve replied as Natasha pulled out her phone. He glanced at her curiously but didn't ask what she was doing.

      Sam frowned slightly and said, "How about the playground in Lincoln Terrace Park? For the Crown Heights place. I think we spent the majority of our time there in the summers. When we weren't headed over to Prospect that is."

      "I like that idea. But what's our plan of attack?" Steve asked, leaning against the archway separating the living room and the kitchen with his arms folded over his chest.

      Phil looked over from where he was petting Monty and said, "I'd say work from the top down. The bridge, the Promenade, the Vale, the carousel, the playground, and then hit the boardwalk for sunset. We'll probably have to grab a bite to eat in Crown Heights after the carousel if we spend half an hour in each spot."

      "Transportation? I doubt everyone can fit on my motorcycle. Which was my original plan, by the way." Steve said, grinning slightly when Sam snorted and rolled his eyes.

      "I borrowed Stark's Impala. It's got a bench seat up front so all six of us can fit." Natasha said, standing up and tucking her phone back into her pocket.

      "Alrighty then. I'll grab my coat and we can head out." Steve said, pushing himself off of the wall and walking back to the entryway as his friends all stood up and gathered their things. After pulling on his leather bomber jacket and re-adjusting his beanie, he grabbed his camera and messenger bag from the dining room table. He double-checked that he had everything that he needed in his messenger bag before following his friends out and locking up his apartment.

      As soon as he made it outside, Darcy turned to him and said, "Gimme your camera and go stand by your bike, I want to make sure we get at least one shot of you today."

      Rolling his eyes, Steve handed over his camera and set his messenger bag in the car before he walked over to his red '85 Honda Rebel 250. Gently leaning against the seat, he stretched his legs out in front of himself and crossed his arms over his chest. With their friends watching her curiously, Darcy lifted his camera up and wandered around on the sidewalk until she had her shot lined up. She frowned petulantly when he refused to smile and said, "Steve, come on, this could get sent to your not-boyfriend. Show those pearly whites."

      "What if I don't feel like smiling? You know I hate my picture being taken." Steve said, scowling slightly. He'd already agreed to let her have a photo shoot showcasing his tattoos; he didn't want to have to pose for stuff today.

      "Steven Grant Rogers, you will smile one of your genuine smiles for this picture or I will send Barnes every single baby photo and awkward middle school photo of you that Natasha and I can find." Peggy threatened, raising an eyebrow at him.

      Sucking in a surprised breath, Darcy stared at her and said, "Damn, Peggy. I wouldn't even do that."

      Rolling his eyes, Steve uncrossed his arms and rested his hands on the edges of the seat. Chewing on his lower lip, he crossed one ankle over the other and stared blankly at his feet. He tried to think of something that would make himself laugh so Darcy could get her shot but he was drawing a blank. He knew for a fact that Natasha had some pretty embarrassing baby photos of him that his mother had given her and he really did not want Bucky to see those.

      "Hey, Steve, you fondue?" Sam asked, shooting Steve a shit-eating grin when his head snapped up. Before anyone knew what was happening, Steve was making a sound that was somewhere between a laugh and a groan while Natasha was trying, and mostly failing, to refrain from giggling and Peggy just slapped her hand over her eyes with an exasperated groan.

      Darcy shot them a confused look but shrugged it off and snapped a few shots of Steve grinning embarrassedly with a light blush dusting his cheeks. Once she was happy with her shots, she said, "Alright, Steve, you can get in the car. And don't delete those photos."

      Steve rolled his eyes and stood up, taking his camera back from Darcy on his way past her. Everyone piled into the car and, once Natasha had made sure everyone was buckled up, she took off down the street in the direction of the Brooklyn Bridge. It didn't take them long, maybe half an hour, to get close enough to the pedestrian entrance to the Brooklyn Bridge and find a parking spot. Once on the walkway, Phil and Peggy headed down a little further than the others to get photos of the Manhattan skyline and the water. Darcy focused on getting shots of the bridge itself while Steve had Sam and Natasha sit on the railing so that he could get a photo of them acting like they were just enjoying the view. Sam would do over-dramatic poses fit for America's Next Top Model while Natasha merely looked over at him with a decidedly unimpressed look. Steve tried to get him to behave but it was no use so he just went with it. The trio got odd looks from passersby but Steve didn't care because he couldn't remember the last time he'd laughed this much. Unbeknownst to Steve, every couple minutes Darcy would shift her focus from the architecture and random pedestrians to snap photos of Steve and his two closest friends goofing off as he took their photos. She also made sure to zoom in on Phil and Peggy to make sure that they were equally represented.

      They had enough shots between the three photographers within twenty minutes. Natasha went to go move the car while the rest of them walked over to the Brooklyn Heights Promenade. Steve snapped random photos of trees whose leaves had turned colors. They didn't stay long at the promenade. Just long enough to get some scenery shots and a few shots of the promenade itself in the late morning light. While they were waiting for Natasha to come pick them up, Steve snapped a photo of Phil leaning against the railing and looking out at the skyline.

      Once they were all piled back in the car and on their way to Prospect Park, Steve decided to go through the photos he'd taken so far and delete the ones that he knew would be too blurry to use. He didn't realize that Darcy was looking over his shoulder until she said, "Ooo, that's a nice one of Coulson."

      "What's a nice one of Coulson?" Phil asked, turning around in the front passenger's seat to look back at Steve and Darcy.

      "Steve got a photo of you back at the promenade. It's a very nice photo, you're actually kinda smiling in it." Darcy said, grinning at him as Steve rolled his eyes and tucked his camera away. Phil just raised an eyebrow at them and hummed softly before turning his attention back out the front window.

      They spent a little over half an hour at the Vale and the surrounding area; snapping pictures of the scenery and what random wildlife they could. Darcy and Peggy kept snapping photos of Steve whenever he wasn't paying attention or had what they thought was a particularly adorable expression. When they got to the carousel, Steve was surprised to see Tony and Pepper standing out front with a park employee. Frowning, he said, "Tony? Pep? What are you two doing here?"

      "Natasha said you wanted to get photos of the carousel for your soldier." Tony said, smiling slightly and tucking his hands into his pockets. "Pepper and I made a few phone calls-"

      "I made the phone calls, Tony just footed the bill." Pepper said, shooting her boss an exasperated look.

      "And viola. We've got access to the carousel for half an hour. Ride as you please and take as many photos as you want." Tony said, grinning brightly. Steve just stared at Tony blankly causing Tony's grin to dim slightly. Clearing his throat, Tony asked, "Uh, you ok there, Steve?"

      "I think he's in shock. He's still not used to you doing something for him without some sort of tangible personal benefit." Sam said, elbowing Steve in the ribs.

      "Huh? Oh. Yeah. Sorry about that. Thank you, Tony." Steve said, shaking his surprise off and grinning brightly at his friend.

      Chuckling, Tony said, "It's no problem, my dear vertically challenged friend."

      "You keep cracking short jokes but which one of us wears lifts in our shoes?" Steve said, smirking as Tony started sputtering and the rest of their friends tried valiantly to not laugh. Darcy was the only one who failed miserably.

      "Oh, great. Thanks, Steve, now I'm going to have to deal with alpha male posturing for the rest of the day." Pepper said, sighing softly and shaking her head.

      "Can't let his head get too big, Pep." Steve said, shooting her a grin before turning to the park employee. "I assume you're here to run the carousel?"

      "Yes, sir. We can head in if you'd like." She said, smiling slightly. Steve nodded and everyone, including a pouting Tony, followed her inside the structure housing the carousel.

      Steve chuckled as his friends scattered and claimed their steeds. Once everyone had chosen their spots, or opted to just walk around and take photos like Steve had, the operator started up the carousel and off they went. Steve got a few cute photos of Pepper and Natasha cuddled up in one of the chariots and a completely ridiculous picture of Tony riding the giraffe while attempting to look dignified. Phil was leaning against one of the stationary horses situated on the inner ring and watching his friends with a small smile. Steve couldn't remember the last time he'd seen Phil look that content and sneakily snapped a photo of Phil's expression while the other man was focused on Darcy and Peggy. Darcy had opted for one of the jumping horses beside the stationary horse Peggy was sitting side-saddle on and Steve snapped a couple shots of the two of them laughing when they weren't taking pictures of their own. At one point, Darcy convinced Natasha and Sam to wrangle Steve onto a horse so she could take a group photo of the three of them. By the time their half-hour was up, Steve, Peggy, and Darcy had almost completely filled their memory cards.

      Tony and Pepper followed them as far as where Natasha had parked before they said their goodbyes. Steve managed to get a photo of Pepper and Natasha sharing a quick goodbye kiss. When Natasha heard the sound of a shutter going off, she glared at him and said, "Delete that, Rogers."

      Pepper chuckled softly and, wrapping an arm around Natasha's waist, said, "At least look at it before you demand he delete it, жар-птичка (zhar-pteechka**)."

      "Fine, let me see it." Natasha said, cocking an eyebrow and glaring at Steve while he pulled up the photo. When he turned the display towards her, she glanced at the photo and her scowl smoothed out a little. Not much, but enough that Steve didn't fear the imminent destruction of his camera.

      "I like it." Pepper said, shooting Steve a smile.

      "Don't give it to Barnes." Natasha said, looking away from the photo and up at Steve.

      "I wasn't planning to. I've already got a photo of the two of you on the carousel that I want to send to him." Steve said, raising an eyebrow at Natasha.

      "Fine. But if I find out you did-"

      "Don't worry, in all of the photos I took you still look like a badass who can kill a man a thousand different ways and never leave a mark." Steve said, smirking playfully as Natasha rolled her eyes. Pepper gave her one last kiss on the cheek before she collected Tony and they headed off down the street to where Tony parked. Steve climbed into the back seat while Natasha rounded the car to climb into the driver's seat. As Natasha drove them over to the Crown Heights neighborhood, Steve pulled out his laptop to dump his photos. Darcy and Peggy decided to switch out memory cards and download their photos later.

      Since it was nearing one in the afternoon, Natasha took them to Subway before heading to the park. Walking around the park was awesome and Steve got a few really great shots but by the time they were nearing the playground, his feet and back were killing him. The playground was fairly deserted when they got there, which wasn't too surprising since it was Monday afternoon and most kids were still in school. There was one woman there, sitting on the swings and staring forlornly around the deserted playground. Steve headed over to the swings and settled down in one a few spaces down from the woman as his friends scattered around the playground, letting their inner five-year-olds loose. He smiled slightly as Natasha and Sam immediately headed to the monkey bars to pick up their never-ending contest of who could do the most pull-ups. Darcy and Peggy dragged Phil on to the merry go round and the woman smiled slightly.

      "Your friend looks like he'd rather eat his own shoe than get on that thing." She commented, glancing over at Steve.

      "Last time he was on one, we were all headed home from a club and were pretty smashed. He ended up throwing up in a trashcan. I think this is the first time he's been on a playground since then." Steve admitted, smiling slightly as he looked over at her.

      "What're you guys doing here?"

      "I could ask you the same question."

      "I'm not the one with a camera." She said, raising an eyebrow and looking pointedly at his camera.

      "I'm taking photos for a friend who's overseas. He said he'd like some photos to put on his wall and, since he's from Brooklyn, I decided to take photos of places that could mean something to him. Darcy and Peggy, the two on the merry-go-round, are helping me. The rest are tagging along and being models. Darcy got a few random people to pose when we were at the Brooklyn Heights Promenade this morning and share a little bit about themselves or a funny story or something."

      "That's sweet of you guys." She said, smiling slightly before looking back out across the playground and raising an eyebrow when she noticed Darcy walking over to them.

      "Hey, Steve. Who's this?" Darcy asked, coming to a stop in front of the two of them.

      "I'm Rikki." She said, smiling politely.

      "Ah, can I take your photo? We're on a mission-"

      Rikki waved a hand to cut Darcy off and said, "Steve explained. I...I don't really know what I'd say. For the story bit."

      "Well, how about why you're here to begin with?" Darcy suggested, cocking an eyebrow and smirking playfully.

      Rikki chuckled softly and, turning to Steve, asked, "Do you really think it'll help your friend?"

      "I think so. When you're deployed overseas, hearing anything about someone's life can help take your mind off of things." Steve said, cocking his head as Rikki studied him.

      "Your friend's in the military?"

      "Yeah. He's in the Army."

      Rikki nodded slowly and looked down at the ground for a moment. Steve was about to ask her if she was alright when she lifted her head and, looking at Darcy, said, "Of course I'll let you take a photo of me. Where would you like me?"

      "Right here is fine." Darcy said, grinning and backing up so she could frame the shot. Steve smiled slightly as Rikki adjusted her bright blue crochet beanie over her dark brown hair before smiling tightly at the camera. After a couple test-frames, Darcy suggested, "Why don't you try not looking at the camera? Your smile's really forced looking."

      "I usually try to think of a funny memory." Steve said, swaying back and forth. Nodding slightly, Rikki looked off towards the monkey bars and got a far-away look in her eye. After a moment, a fond expression surfaced and a warm smile lit up her face. Darcy grinned and snapped a few shots.

      "What're you doing here anyway?" Darcy asked, letting her camera hang around her neck and digging around in her pocket for her phone.

      "My brother and I used to come here all the time as kids. I was missing him more than usual this morning so I decided to take a few hours off of work and just sit out here since it's the only place I can feel close to him now. It's been over a decade and I still forget that I can't just call him anymore." She admitted, blushing slightly and scratching her cheek. Steve felt his chest start to ache but not in a way that signaled an asthma attack. There were still times that he felt like calling up his mother to tell her about a particularly interesting client or something that Sam and Natasha did before he remembered that he couldn't do that anymore.

      "Is there something you'd tell your brother? If you could talk him again?" Darcy asked, fingers hovering over her phone's keyboard.

      Taking a shaky breath, she looked up at Darcy and said, "I'd tell him that I regret saying what I did and that I was wrong. So, so wrong. I'd tell him that his niece loves him to bits even though they've never met and that his nephew wants to grow up to be just like him. And I'm proud of that. I'm proud of him and I miss him. Some days so badly that it feels like I'm missing a limb. Most of all, I'd make sure he knew just how much I love him."

      When Darcy finished typing out what Rikki had said, she looked up at the other woman and said, "I'm really sorry. About your brother."

      "Thank you." Rikki said, smiling slightly. Darcy opened her mouth to say something else but was cut off by Rikki's phone ringing. Pulling it out of her pocket, she checked the caller id and said, "That's the office. I better get back. It was nice meeting you guys." Standing up, she shot each of them a small smile and accepted the call before walking off. Steve and Darcy shared a look before heading over to the others. The six of them headed back to Tony's Impala and Natasha drove them down to Coney Island.

      Steve was a little surprised to see Maria and Nick at the boardwalk but managed to convince his friend and his girlfriend to allow him to take a few photos of the two of them. Well, he managed to convince Maria who in turn just stared expectantly at Nick until he broke down and grudgingly agreed as well. Riley showed up a few minutes later and Sam almost immediately plastered himself against his boyfriend's back.

       Steve grinned and got a few photos of the two of them before stretching out on one of the benches to rest his back. Shutting his eyes, he listened to his friends laughing and listening to music from Darcy's tablet and portable speakers. He let his mind drift and found himself thinking about Bucky. Again. He'd caught himself, more than once, wondering how Bucky was doing and what he looked like. Frowning, he rubbed his eye and started to make a mental list of what he'd need to buy for the care package he was making.

 ~~~ 

      The day after Halloween, Steve called in sick to work. It wasn't anything that would land him in the hospital but he had a chest cold that he didn't want to risk spreading to his clients. After assuring Darcy that he'd get some rest and drink plenty of liquids, Steve curled up on his couch underneath the quilt that his grandmother had made for his mother and drifted in and out of sleep for a few hours. Around noon, he woke up and heated himself up some chicken soup that he made last night. He was just finishing up his first bowl when there was a knock on his door. Groaning softly as he stood up, he picked up his empty bowl and, on his way to the front door, put it in the dishwasher. He shuffled over to the door and cracked it open to see Bruce standing there with a small smile.

      "Hey, Steve. Natasha sent me over to check up on you. And pick up your mail for you." He said, motioning to the small stack of envelopes in his hand.

      "Thanks, Bruce." Steve said, taking the stack of envelopes. Leaning against the door, he smiled tiredly and said, "I'd invite you in but I feel like shit."

      "Just promise me you ate and I'll leave you be. Natasha will ask." Bruce said, smiling kindly.

      Chuckling softly, Steve said, "Just finished a bowl of my grandma's chicken soup. I was just about to make some of that magic Indian tea you gave me last time I got sick before curling back up on the couch and watching a movie."

      "Alright, get some rest, ok? I'll let Natasha know how you're doing." Bruce said.

      "Will do. I'll see you around." Steve said, nodding slightly as he shut the door and shuffled back into the kitchen. He tossed the junk mail into the trash and smiled slightly when he saw Bucky's letter. Setting it aside, he set into making himself a cup of Bruce's special blend of chai that he made especially for Steve. Once he'd poured the steaming hot liquid into his favorite mug, he picked it and Bucky's letter up and headed back into the living room. Ny and Monty were curled up together on the loveseat and didn't pay him any mind as he settled down on the floor between the coffee table and the couch. Setting the mug of tea down, he opened up the envelope and pulled out Bucky's letter. 

 

 

> _25 October 2013_
> 
> _Steve,_
> 
> _I don't even know where to start with this one. I'm so sorry that you went through all of that growing up. It makes all of my teenage drama seem kind of stupid in comparison. Which, yeah, I know it's not smart to compare completely different scenarios but I kind of can't help it. I'm glad that Natasha and Sam stuck around and took care of you. I'll have to send them a thank you card or a fruit basket or something because it sounds like if they hadn't stuck around you would've self-destructed. Which would mean that we never would've started exchanging letters and I'd probably be going a little batshit out here._
> 
> _The drawings of Monty and Nyota are amazing, man. I knew you were talented since I saw some of your artwork at the shop but this is insane. You could probably make a living as a regular artist if the tattoo thing ever falls through. Also, you don't have to do a special outing just to get photos for me. I just meant that I'd appreciate any photos that you had lying around that you wouldn't mind parting with. I mean, by the time you get this letter, you'll probably have already done that but, for future reference, you don't have to go out of your way to do stuff for me. There's nothing that I can think of that I need or want for a care package so you don't have to worry about that. Honestly, just getting your letters is enough for me._
> 
> _I've only been to a couple pride parades and that was before I signed up. I was really excited to go until I saw how wild it can get and realized that it just wasn't for me. I'm all for celebrating the community and fostering solidarity but the ones I went to just seemed like excuses to drink booze at two in the afternoon and make an ass out of yourself. And be assholes to people whose identities you don't recognize as part of the community. Which sucked and I stopped going after some woman told me to pick a side. If that last bit wasn't enough of a give away, I'm bisexual. But I've only ever felt strong romantic connections with other guys. I guess that makes me mainly homoromantic? I don't know. I just go with it and if I like someone then I'll date them._
> 
> _I was perfectly safe on the mission I was going on when I sent you my last letter. We went in, did our thing, and got out. But, in the spirit of full disclosure, I should probably tell you that it was the one after that that landed me in medical. Which is where I'm sitting right now. Don't worry, I'm fine. It was really only a graze but they're holding me for longer than usual because I may have been suffering from a slight case of heat exhaustion by the time we got back to base. Honestly, I just needed some fluids and rest but apparently they know better than me since they went to college and got a fancy piece of paper saying that they learned how to sew people back together. At least I don't have to deal with DumDum's snoring. I swear I can hear that man through the walls._
> 
> _Going by the fact that the nurse is glaring at Clint and keeps checking her watch, I think visiting hours are up and since he's the one mailing this letter, I better wrap this up. Before I forget, Gabe said that he'd love to hear from Peggy. She can get a hold of him through his email; which is gabe.a.jones@gmail.com. Anyway, I hope to hear back from you soon._
> 
> _Stay safe, punk,  
> _ _Bucky_
> 
> _P.S. My idiot Sergeant's wish list for a care package:_
> 
>   * _Homemade chocolate chip cookies (the more chocolate that's in them, the better)_
>   * _Some sort of quilt or blanket (his old one's getting a little ragged and he refuses to buy himself a new one)_
>   * _New sunglasses (Numa Optics TAS Blackout Point is preferred but he'll take anything at this point)_
>   * _Irish Spring anything (soap, body wash, whatever)_
>   * _IcyHot (cream or patches)_
>   * _White or green socks (extra thick if you can manage)_
>   * _100% cotton boxer briefs (Hanes Tagless, size M, and the color doesn't matter)_
>   * _Lip balm (he has a thing for lemon or cherry flavored stuff and brand doesn't matter, hell it could be homemade if you're into that)_
>   * _Powdered drink mix, the singles that you can pour into a water bottle (Country Time Lemonade, Cherry-Limeade, and Blackberry Pomegranate Iced Green Tea are his favorites)._
> 

> 
> _Seriously, trust me on this, he doesn't know how to ask for the stuff he wants and gets thrown for a loop when he actually gets what he asks for; like with your drawings. He was gaping like a fish when he pulled them out of the envelope and kept muttering, "I wasn't serious."_
> 
> _Clint Barton._

      Steve smiled slightly and took a sip of his tea, which had cooled down to something that was actually drinkable. He set aside Bucky's letter and grabbed his notebook and a pen from the drawer. 

 

 

> _November 1, 2013_
> 
> _Bucky,_
> 
> _It's really no trouble to do things for you or get you something. I'm a grown man and I can do nice things for my friends. And I do count you as one of my friends now, just so you know. And being counted as one of my friends means that I'm going to make you a care package whether you ask me for things or not. A list of the stuff you like or want would just make my job easier. You were right though. I did already go out with my friends and take photos for you. And there are a lot of them, which is why I'm sending this letter along with them in a padded envelope._
> 
> _There's three sets, ones that Darcy took, ones that Peggy took, and ones that I took. Darcy's set is mainly filled with random strangers that have personal stories or inspirational quotes written on the back, Peggy's set is mainly landscape and architecture photos of the places we visited with little interesting facts about the places written on the back, and mine are mainly of my friends with funny stories or random facts about them written on the back. Darcy's also forcing me to include a photo of myself with my set even though I'm almost 98% positive that she and Peggy included a lot more photos of me in their sets because why else would they refuse to let me look at their photos. Anyway, the one she's making me send specifically is the one she took of me that morning with my motorcycle. It was actually the one my father learned how to ride on. He kept it so that he could teach his kid but he passed away long before I was old enough to learn. I got ownership of it after my mother passed away. I always wear a helmet and leathers so don't worry about me cracking my skull open on the road or getting road rash if I get hit. I mean, I'm not planning on getting hit but it's always a possibility._
> 
> _Since you told me you were in medical, I should probably tell you that I had to call in sick to work today and I'll probably be out tomorrow too. It's nothing major, just a chest cold, but it could turn into something really nasty if I don't take care of it. Right now I'm curled up with a mug of Indian tea that Bruce got for me and the big heavy quilt that my grandma made for my mom before she got married to my dad. Don't worry about me, though. I'm used to this sort of thing. I'll just take a nice hot shower after I finish my tea and this letter._
> 
> _I really hope you're okay. I know you said it wasn't anything serious but if the doctors say you need to stay, you really do need to listen. Most of the time, they do know better. That's kind of a perk of going to school for so many years; you get to order hardheaded Sergeants to bed rest so they don't try to overexert themselves and end up in medical with something even worse than a graze and a slight case of heat exhaustion. Don't give your nurse any trouble; her job is hard enough as it is. Just do what they tell you to do, as long as it doesn't compromise your health or morals, and you'll be out of medical before you know it._
> 
> _I've been feeling really nostalgic lately and missing my mom a lot more than usual. I don't know why but I keep remembering random things we used to do when I was growing up. Like when I would get really sick, she used to rub my back and sing me lullabies in Gaelic to get me to sleep. It would knock me right out and I'd usually be able to sleep through the night. Or when I used to sit with her in the living room and watch her as she hand stitched a quilt for someone. She made ones for Sam, Natasha, and me that were housewarming gifts for our first apartments on our own. Sam and Natasha actually ended up getting theirs before I did. Sam because he was on military bases and technically no longer living at home. Natasha because she got a place of her own as soon as she turned 18 because she didn't want to be a "burden" to my mom anymore. Not that my mom ever saw it that way but Natasha's weird about owing people things. Mom died before she could finish mine. The top quilt's done but there's no backing or batting. It's actually tucked away in the back of my closet because every time I pull it out to get it finished, it never feels like it's the right time. I don't know, maybe I'm just being weird and should just get it finished._
> 
> _I'm getting really tired so I'm going to end this letter here before I ramble anymore and bore you to tears with stories of my mom and I baking cookies or making colcannon. It was really good to hear from you. Your letter made me smile even though I feel like death warmed over._
> 
> _Stay safe, jerk,  
> _ _Steve._

      Stifling a yawn, Steve numbered the pages before folding them up and tucking them inside of a regular envelope. He wrote Bucky's name on it before sealing it and tucking inside the padded envelope that held the three sets of photo prints. He made sure that Bucky's APO was neatly written on the outside and that his return address was legible before sealing it. Picking up his phone, he crawled on to the couch and wrapped his quilt around him before he texted Pepper to ask her if she knew of any places that he could get a half-finished quilt finished.

      While waiting for a reply, Steve opened up his notepad app and made a quick list of what he'd need to get for Bucky's care package based on the list Clint had provided. Setting his phone down on the coffee table, Steve pulled his quilt over his head and buried his face into the cool sofa cushion. As he drifted back off to sleep, he found himself wondering what his mother would think of Bucky if she were still alive and if she'd like him as much as he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **жар-птичка (zhar-pteechka) is the diminutive form of жар-птица (zhar-pteesa) which is the Russian name for the firebird from Slavic folklore and the bird that Natasha has tattooed on her arm. 
> 
> If anyone is better at Russian grammar than I could figure out on my own/with the help of one of my friends, feel free to comment or drop a line and let me know how I can improve it because I'm flying blind here. I took Spanish in high school and I'm taking French at uni so I literally have no idea what I'm doing.
> 
> I also realized that the timeline for letters and packages is kinda off when compared to what it would take in the real world since it usually takes around two weeks for a letter to get to where I have Bucky stationed and about a month for packages. I'm taking some creative liberties and just pretending that the US post office can handle things a lot faster in this universe than it does in our's.
> 
> Ever thankful for [my beta](spookyookykitty.tumblr.com), who is amazing and deserves all the things. Don't forget that you can drop me a line at [my tumblr](never-been-sane.tumblr.com) if you have any questions or just want to talk. Seriously people, you're more likely to get a response from me over there and I'm usually bored as hell when I'm not trying to write the next chapter so please don't be shy.


	5. Of Photo Shoots and Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve has a little bit of an emotional crisis after Bucky's latest letter. Thank God for Natasha's weird sleep schedule and her ability to calm him down and get him to talk through things.

      Steve groaned softly as someone poked his shoulder. Blinking his eyes open sluggishly, he looked around and spotted Darcy sitting beside him on his bed. He shot her a confused frown and asked, "Darce, seriously, what are you doing in my apartment? You don't even have a key."

      "I borrowed Natasha's. C'mon, I've been back to work for two weeks now-"

      "Week and a half, it's only the 11th." Steve muttered reaching over and grabbing his hearing aids off his nightstand only to realize, once he put them in, that the batteries were dead.

      "Not the point. You promised me a photo shoot-"

      "And then I got sick. Give me a second, let me switch out the batteries in my ears so I don't have to keep trying to read your lips while I'm half asleep and don't have my eyes on." Steve said, sitting up and pulling open the drawer of his nightstand. Once he switched out the dead batteries for new ones and closed the compartment again, he inserted his hearing aids and put on his glasses. Sighing softly, he ran a hand through his hair and looked at Darcy; who was sitting on the edge of his bed petting Nyota.

      "Your ears working again?" She asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

      Leaning againt the headboard, he shot her an unamused look and replied, "Yes."

      "Good, now are you done being a grumpy butt?"

      "You're not going to let me just go back to sleep are you."

      "No, we're going to head to my place in DUMBO and you're going to let me do a shoot. My boyfriend already said he didn't care if I used the apartment instead of the studio like I usually would."

      Groaning, Steve rolled out of bed and headed over to his closet. Opening the door, he asked, "What do you want me in?"

      "Black boxer briefs. But not the ones that go halfway down your thigh. The tiny ones."

      "I need more than that to get over to your apartment. And I don't think your boyfriend is going to appreciate me prancing around your apartment in skin-tight briefs."

      "White Henley, dark blue plaid button up, and a pair of black skinny jeans. And trust me, he will appreciate the fuck out of it." Darcy said, scratching underneath Nyota's chin.

      "What?" Steve asked, grabbing his jeans and dark blue plaid shirt out of the closet before closing it and heading over to his dresser to grab his underwear and shirt. He shot her a confused look as he rummaged around in his drawers.

      Darcy rolled her eyes and said, "He thinks you're hot."

      "Oh god, why?" Steve asked, pulling out his clothes and tossing them on his bed.

      "Because you are." Darcy said, shooting him a look that clearly said she thought he was being obtuse.

      Scowling, Steve shook his head and said, "No I'm not."

      Rolling her eyes, Darcy crossed her arms and said, "You are the most frustrating man I interact with and that's saying something considering who my boyfriend is."

      "Who is your boyfriend?"

      "You'll meet him today, he's at the apartment. But that's beside the point. The point is, Steven Grant Rogers, that you are an attractive human being."

      "I'll trust your judgment on that one." Steve said, raising an eyebrow at her and motioning to the door. Clearing his throat, he asked, "Can you wait in the living room so I can get dressed?"

      "Fine, but I'm taking your cats." Darcy said, picking Monty and Nyota up and walking out.

      Rolling his eyes, Steve crossed the room to shut the door before he started stripping out of his pajamas. As he was pulling on his underwear, he caught a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror and paused. He turned towards it and studied his reflection, trying to see what Darcy saw. But, he still couldn't see it. All he saw was a stick-thin man who'd tried to cover the parts of himself that he hated with art. His eyes wandered over the brilliant display of colors decorating his left arm and he smiled slightly. Peggy had designed a full-sleeve specifically for him when he'd told her he wanted to get something to remind him of his mother. She had somehow managed to make the petals of various [flowers seem as though they were made of stars and nebulas](http://never-been-sane.tumblr.com/post/92648936383); a feat he hadn't seen her try to recreate since she finished his sleeve even though plenty of their customers had asked. Sighing softly, he turned away from the mirror and quickly finished dressing. After making a quick pit stop in the bathroom to take his medicine, he headed into the living room. Darcy glanced up and nodded before chucking his jacket, a beanie, and a scarf at him. Pulling on his outerwear, Steve asked, "Did you feed Monty and Ny?"

      "Yep. I refilled their water bowls and their dry food bowls and gave them half a can of wet food each. Now c'mon, let's get going." Darcy said, pulling on her own jacket. After Steve grabbed his keys, wallet, and inhaler, he followed Darcy out of his apartment and locked the door behind himself. They walked about four blocks to the metro station on Bergen, took the F line up to the station on York, then walked five blocks to Main Street; where Darcy's apartment building was located.

      Steve stared up at the Clock Tower building in awe and asked, "You live here?"

      "I live in the penthouse actually." Darcy said, leading him inside and waving to the doorman.

      Steve stared at her as they walked into the private elevator and said, "Seriously? Tony was bitching for months that somebody sniped him on that place."

      "Yeah, my boyfriend loves to annoy the shit out of Stark whenever he can." Darcy said, smiling slightly and leaning against the wall of the elevator as it started its ascent.

      "Your boyfriend is a millionaire?"

      "Billionaire actually. Almost as rich as Stark. Mainly because he was smart with his investments and ended up launching a few record labels that sign a lot of artists from a bunch of different genres every year. Oh, and his biological parents left him their business when they passed and he transformed that from a multi-million dollar business into a multi-billion dollar business." Darcy said, walking into the foyer of the penthouse when the elevator doors opened. Steve blinked and followed her inside. She strode down the steps into a living room area and, dropping her jacket on the back of a couch, called, "Honey, I'm home! And I brought Steve!"

      "Don't call me honey. And I figured as much considering that was your entire goal of leaving the house this morning." A familiar voice called from somewhere in the apartment. Frowning, Steve tried to place where he had heard that same velvet-like voice before as he walked off of the raised platform that served as the foyer. Shedding his jacket, he dropped it down on the couch next to Darcy's and looked up at her curiously.

      Smirking slightly, she leaned against the back of the couch and called, "But, lovemuffin-"

      "Honestly, darling, I'm on my way down. You can stop with the ridiculous nicknames." The voice called and Steve heard footsteps coming down the stairs that wrapped around the penthouse's elevator. Looking over, he was surprised to see the lead singer and guitarist for _Jotunn's Rebellion_ padding barefoot out of the staircase. He was even more surprised to see that the man was not dressed in his usual skin-tight leather pants and dark green V-neck but a pair of Oscar the Grouch pajama pants and an "I do what I want" tank top that Steve was fairly certain that he'd seen Darcy wear before.

      "Hey, sweetums." Darcy said, smirking playfully as Loki padded over to them.

      "Well, it's better than lovemuffin" Loki sighed, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pressing a kiss to her temple. Turning to Steve, he held out a hand and said, "Pleasure to finally meet you. I'm Loki Laufeyson, Darcy's boyfriend."

      Steve blinked and, shaking Loki's hand, said, "Steve Rogers. Darcy's boss." After dropping Loki's hand, he turned to Darcy and said, "And now I know why everyone always laughed at me when I asked why you liked _Jotunn's Rebellion_ so much."

      "You never told him?" Loki asked, shooting Darcy an amused look.

      "In my defense, Thor didn't tell him you two are brothers either."

      "I'm adopted."

      "He's still your brother. And the only one besides Frigga who supported you even when you were going through all your angst-y "I hate everyone" phase."

      "And now _Sibling Rivalry_ makes a lot more sense." Steve said, looking between Loki and Darcy.

      Loki rolled his eyes with a small half-smile and said, "I would assume so. Did she even allow you to eat before dragging you out of the house?"

      "No. But she did feed my cats for me and gave me time to take my meds so I can't complain too much." Steve said, shrugging a shoulder.

      "Come with me, I'll make you something to eat while she gets her camera and figures out a vision for the shoot." Loki said, unwrapping his arm from Darcy's shoulder and motioning for Steve to follow him. As Steve trailed after him across the raised platform, Darcy bounded up the stairs to retrieve her camera. While he settled on to a barstool, Loki poured him a cup of coffee and commented, "Darcy said that you're writing to a soldier overseas and sent him a bunch of photos that the two of you took a couple weeks ago."

      "Ah, yeah. His name's Bucky. Darcy and I went out with a few of our friends and took photos around Brooklyn since he's from the area."

      "That's nice of you." He said, sliding the mug across the counter to Steve.

      Steve inhaled the scent of what was obviously very expensive coffee before he took a sip and hummed softly. Looking up at Loki, he said, "Bucky had mentioned wanting photos to put up in his room and since, from what he's told me, he doesn't really have anyone but his squad I took it upon myself to get some for him. I'm also putting together a box for him to mail out whenever I get his next letter."

      Loki nodded as he pulled out a box of cereal and the milk from the fridge. Pouring himself and Steve a bowl, he said, "Not very many people would do that for those they've only known for such a short period of time."

      "I know. It's just...Bucky's different. I don't know why. I just-I just want to do nice things for him. He doesn't have anyone on the outside and I know it has to be hard." Steve said, shrugging and taking the bowl from Loki when he offered it.

      "Darcy mentioned something about a quilt?" Loki questioned, taking a bite of cereal out of his bowl.

      Steve blushed and looked down at cereal. After eating a few spoonfuls, he rested his spoon against the rim and murmured, "I found out that Bucky needed a new quilt so I finally got the one that my mom was making me before she passed away finished. I wasn't doing anything with it and I figured it should get some use and love somewhere so I'm giving it to him."

      "But it's a piece of your mother." Loki said, staring at Steve and blinking slowly.

      Steve rubbed the back of his neck and said, "And I know that she'd want me to give it to someone who needs it. I already have it in a vacuum-packed bag in the bottom of the box I'm putting the stuff in. I just need to pick up a few things at the grocery store today and it'll be finished. Except for the letter, but I'm waiting to get his before I send it out."

      Loki studied him for a moment before he nodded slowly and continued to eat his breakfast. Looking down at his bowl, Steve resumed eating his cereal and occasionally taking a sip of coffee. He had been trying not to look too deeply into why he was sending Bucky the quilt because he honestly didn't know why he felt so compelled to send it to the other man. By the time Steve had finished eating and was on his second cup of coffee, Darcy had reappeared at his side with her camera. She allowed him to remain at the counter, cupping his mug, as she took photos of the tattoo across his fingers that spelled out Brooklyn. Loki chuckled softly as Darcy dragged Steve, and his coffee, into the main living room and plopped him down on the sofa.

      "I feel like I should be offended that you're dragging me around like a ragdoll." Steve said, taking a sip of his coffee and raising an eyebrow at her. When he noticed the lack of extra lighting equipment, Steve figured that, with the amount of natural light that the windows let in, she wouldn't need to use artificial lights.

      "Just take your beanie and shirts off, Raggedy Andy." Darcy said, shooting him a teasing smile as she adjusted her camera to the new lighting source. Rolling his eyes, Steve set down the coffee mug and stood up so he could pull off his over shirt and Henley. Glancing around, he noticed that Loki had followed them and was sitting on the platform stairs, sipping his own coffee and watching them curiously. Blushing slightly, he folded up his Henley and his over shirt and set them on the coffee table only to have Darcy pick them up and put them on the couch with their coats. Rolling his eyes, he tossed his beanie over with the rest of his clothes before sitting back down and picking up his mug of coffee. He downed the rest of it while Darcy snapped a few photos.

      For his very first, and probably only, photo shoot, he didn't completely hate it. There were a few times that the poses Darcy made him do ended up making Loki burst into laughter which caused Steve to start giggling because he knew he must look ridiculous. By the time Darcy had him strip out of his jeans to get shots of the tattoos on his legs, he was much more relaxed and even having a little bit of fun. Not that he'd ever admit that to Darcy; she'd be smug for weeks if he did. Loki making sarcastic comments every couple minutes and egging Darcy into bickering with him was probably the most entertaining thing Steve had ever witnessed. The fact that he still hadn't changed out of his pajamas just made the situation even more hilarious to Steve.

      "Ugh, Steeeve, he's being mean to me." Darcy whined, trying to fight back a grin as Steve perched himself on one of the windowsills.

      Raising an eyebrow, Steve said, "Not my problem, Darce. My job is to stand here and try to look pretty not play mediator between you and your boyfriend."

      "Fine, see if I let you have that pre-release CD to put in your not-boyfriend's care package. And you always look pretty so shut up about that "try" bullshit."

      "What pre-release CD?" Steve asked, choosing to ignore the second half of her response and shooting her a curious look.

      Loki leaned back in the chair he was sitting in and answered, "She confiscated my copy of our newest CD, which doesn't hit shelves or online marketplaces like iTunes and Amazon until January."

      "And I got him and his band mates to sign it because I am an awesome friend." Darcy said,

      "You threatened to make me sleep on the couch until I got them to sign it. Njord took pity on me before the first night and Knorda and Skadi just laughed at me until they saw that you were serious. Which took almost a week of them walking down here to find me on one of the sofas. You're lucky they took pity on me and signed it before they left yesterday."

      "Why would you do that?" Steve asked, staring at Darcy.

      "It'll make him happy which in turn will make you happy and it's one of my goals as your friend to make sure you're happy because you deserve to be. Now turn around so I can get a shot of the back piece that Sam slaved over for months."

      "It is a nice piece." Steve said, turning around to face out the window.

      "The way the tree's branches blend into the vines and the knot work of your sleeves is brilliant. And the transition from solid lines and the almost comic looking vines to a photo realistic style is flawless." Loki commented, causing Steve to look over his shoulder at him as Darcy snapped a few photos.

      "I personally like how the trunk follows the slight curve of your spine. Visual reminder of your scoliosis for those who don't know what to look for in your shoulders." Darcy mused; looking down at the display of her camera and flicking through the last couple shots she took.

      "Why the wrens? I mean, you could've gone with any bird." Loki asked, raising an eyebrow at Steve.

      "It's my sign in the Celtic zodiac. And my grandparents were always fond of them."

      "I should've gone to your shop to get my tattoos done." Loki said, smiling slightly.

      "Feel free to drop by if you ever want another." Steve said, smiling kindly at Loki.

      "Alright, Steve. I've got everything documented, you can put your clothes back on."

      "Even the Iain Thomas quote on my ribs?"

      "Yes, I got that one when you were lounging on the chair with your arms over your head."

      "Awesome." Steve said, turning around and striding over to his clothes. He glanced at Darcy as he pulled on his Henley and said, "I've got to head to the store and finish Bucky's care package."

      "Want me to drive you?" Darcy asked, looking over at him.

      "Do you want to go shopping with me?" Steve asked, glancing up from buttoning his jeans.

      "Sure. The CD's in my car anyway." Darcy said, setting her camera down on the coffee table. She pecked Loki on the cheek as Steve pulled on his shoes. Steve shot Loki a small smile as he and Darcy pulled on their coats. After bidding Darcy's boyfriend adieu, the two of them left the penthouse and headed to where Darcy kept her car parked. 

~~~ 

      The next night, Steve shuffled into his apartment complex at ten-thirty and headed towards the row of mailboxes. Unlocking his own, he sighed softly at the stack of envelopes. Pulling it out, he shut and locked the mailbox again before he sorted through the mail. He chucked the junk mail in the recycle bin at the bottom of the stairs as he headed up them. Tucked in between his utility bill and an invitation from Tony was Bucky's letter. Steve frowned slightly when he noticed that it was a little heavier than normal but continued up the stairs to his apartment.

      Once inside with the door locked behind him, he dropped his keys and his wallet on the side table by the door before wandering into the living room. He dropped all the mail that wasn't Bucky's letter on the coffee table and ripped open the letter. He was surprised when a few photos fell out and on to his lap. Resisting the urge to look at the photos, he set them aside and pulled Bucky's letter out.

 

 

> _7 November 2013_
> 
> _Steve,_
> 
> _I'm at a loss as to where to start. Again. But this time it's all good things. I'm glad that you consider us friends because I do too. It's hard not to when for the past couple months, your letters have been the only thing I've had to look forward to. Nothing that you could put in that care package could compare to the photos you've already sent me. Somehow Darcy managed to get a photo of my sister at the playground we used to go to as kids. On the same swing I used to push her on. When I read what Darcy wrote on the back, what my sister said about me, I ended up crying. And I'm not ashamed to admit that because I've spent the past decade thinking that she hates me and I just found out that she doesn't._
> 
> _I ended up im-ing Connie to get Becca's number from her and then, after making sure that it wasn't some crazy time in New York, I called her on the sat phone. We talked for an hour since that's all I'm allowed but, my God, it was so good to hear her voice again. And hear firsthand about what my niece and nephew are like. I can't even describe how it felt to be able to talk to her again after all these years. I'm sorry if the pages are a little tear stained, I'm still kinda on an emotional rollercoaster right now and it's been like four hours since I hung up with her. I don't know how I'm going to thank you for this. I know you'll probably say that I don't have to since we're friends but I can't not try to. This is too big to not try to thank you for even if it was entirely coincidental._
> 
> _Gabe said I should probably put photos of me and my squad in this since you gave me photos of you and your friends. I know that I should but I don't have a lot of photos of myself so I've got to rely on Clint and Gabe to find some in their photo stashes. I'm a little afraid of what they'll dig up to be honest. I never know when they're taking photos of me. Speaking of photos, I think Gabe nicked all the ones that had Peggy in them. Which isn't really surprising since they've been e-mailing non-stop for the past week and I'm fairly certain that I heard Gabe skyping her last night. I'm betting by New Year's they'll have managed to work out a long-distance relationship._
> 
> _I really hope that you're okay again by the time you get this letter. I know that you said that you're used to this sort of thing but I'm not. I'm not used to worrying this much about someone who isn't family; biological or militarily. Not that I mind having you to worry about, I'm just not used to it. It's nice having someone on the outside who's not related to me or who has known me since I was a year old. It's refreshing to be able to talk to someone who doesn't assume anything about me just because they've known me for a long time. And, just for your information, I was a perfect gentleman towards my nurse and listened to my doctors like a good little soldier. No hardheadedness to be found in Medical while I was there._
> 
> _By the way, I ended up hanging up most of the photos that you sent me. I particularly like the one of you, Sam, and Natasha on the carousel. You look so pissed off in that photo even though Sam's grinning like a madman and Natasha's got this little half-smile thing going on. I really hope I'm not overstepping the bounds of our friendship when I tell you this but you're fucking gorgeous in these photos. Especially in the one of you with your dad's motorcycle. You've got this really cute smile and you're blushing so hard that it looks like the tips of your ears are turning red. I'd love to know what was said to make you blush like that because holy shit that is a good look on you. And I'm going to stop myself before I go any further down that path because I really don't want to make you uncomfortable and I get the feeling that I may have already done that._
> 
> _I've got to get going, we've got a mission tomorrow morning and I want to get this letter posted before we leave. I hope whatever photos end up in the envelope with this letter won't scare you off. Or anything that I've said in this letter._
> 
> _Take care of yourself, punk._
> 
> _Bucky_

      Blinking, Steve re-read the letter a few times over before he picked up the phone and dialed Natasha's number. Shutting his eyes, he listened to it ring a few times before she picked up and said, "Steve?"

      "Bucky thinks I'm hot." Steve said without preamble.

      "What?"

      "Actually, his exact words were "you're fucking gorgeous" and I don't know what I'm feeling right now."

      "Okay, do you feel uncomfortable with him saying that?" Natasha asked and he could hear her shifting around on the other end of the line.

      "Not...really. Not a bad uncomfortable. Not like I never want him to tell me that again." Steve said, taking off his glasses and setting them on the coffee table beside the letter.

      "What kind of uncomfortable then?"

      "I feel like I did when Peggy told me she thought I was attractive after we'd been dating for a couple weeks. So like bubbly and giddy. Walking on air. On cloud nine. Whatever idiom you want to use. It's uncomfortable because I'm not used to people making me feel like this."

      "Steve-"

      "I know it's stupid. I don't even really know him. We've only exchanged four letters each for Christ’s sake. But I just...." Steve trailed off, rubbing at his eye.

      "He makes you feel special. And, Steve, there's no set number of letters to get to know a person. Or to maybe fall a little bit in love with them. What else did his letter say?"

      "That Darcy and I managed to find his sister at the park that day. And that he called and talked to her after like a decade of silence. He told me about the fight that they had before he shipped out. I remember wanting to find his sister and shake some sense in to her because I couldn't understand how she could just abandon him like that. He said he didn't know how he could ever thank me for that. I don't want him to thank me, Tasha, I just want him to be happy."

      "I know, Steve. I know. Did he say anything else?"

      "There were some photos tucked in with the letter but I haven't had a chance to look at them yet."

      "Why don't you do that? I'll stay on the phone if you'd like."

      "Please? I just don't know what to think right now." Steve said, sitting up and putting his glasses back on. After putting Natasha on speaker and setting his phone down, he picked up the small pile of photos and flipped them over so the photo was facing upwards. Staring up at him from the glossy paper was a desert-tanned, blue-eyed man with messy dark brown hair and a smile that lit up his entire face.

      Steve figured that he must've made some kind of distressed noise because he heard Natasha ask, "What's wrong? Steve?"

      "Holy fuck. Natasha, he's...."

      "He's what? Got a second head? A unibrow? A shitton of scars?"

      "No, no. None of that. Why would you think that?"

      "You made a sound like a dying goose. What's wrong with the guy?"

      "Nothing." Steve said, still staring down at the first photo. Flipping it over, he saw Clint's messy handwriting on the back: _He was laughing at a joke Gabe told him. One of the few we have of him that doesn't make him look like a scary motherfucker or grumpy cat._ Steve couldn't help but smile at that.

      "Ok, if nothing's wrong, why did you sound like a dying goose?"

      "Because he's really really attractive and I was caught off guard." Steve said, flipping the photo over again. Setting it aside, he looked down at the next photo and burst out laughing.

      "What's so funny?"

      "He looks like grumpy cat." Steve said, grinning and he flipped over the photo to see if Clint had written anything on the back. _See, grumpy cat. And he wonders why none of us can take him seriously when he has this look._

"Really?"

      "It's adorable."

      "What other photos are there?" Natasha asked, her amusement obvious in her tone. Steve set aside the grumpy cat photo and picked up the next one. He smiled slightly when he spotted the drawings of Monty and Ny on Bucky's wall. His eyes flicked across the photo and settled on Bucky's face. He had the same sunshine-like grin from the first photo lighting up his face and his attention was focused on something in his hands. Steve recognized the object as one of his letters and his smile grew a little. Flipping the photo over, he read the note on the back: _He doesn't stop smiling for days after getting one of your letters. They're the highlight of his week and he always keeps the latest one on his person when we go on missions._

Clearing his throat, Steve said, "Someone got a photo of him reading one of my letters."

      "And? Does he look happy?"

      "Yeah. He does. Like, really happy. And, according to the note on the back, he doesn't stop smiling for days after getting one of them."

      "Any more photos?"

      "There are three more." Steve said, setting the photo he had in his hand aside and picking up the next one. He smiled slightly at the sight of Bucky and who he assumed were Clint and Gabe with their arms around each other with beers in their hands. The three of them had huge smiles on their faces and, going by their lack of clothing, they were at a pool party. Steve flipped it over to read the note on the back: _I'm the sane one wearing regular swim trunks. The dork in the black and purple speedo is Clint. Obviously that's Bucky wearing the red square cut briefs. We were at Clint's brother's place in California for Fourth of July last year. ~Gabe Jones_

      "What's this next one?"

      "Bucky, Gabe, and Clint in their swimsuits."

      "Oh? What kind is he wearing?"

      "Square cut." Steve said, flipping the photo back over to get a better look at Bucky. He was the exact opposite of Steve, all tanned skin and washboard abs, and seeing that much of him made Steve feel a little off kilter. Rubbing a hand over his face, he added, "He...He is a very attractive man, Natasha. A very attractive man in a very tiny swimsuit."

      "That's a good thing, right?"

      "I...I think I now understand what Tony means when he says he would climb someone like a tree if given the chance."

      "And how do you feel about that?"

      "Like I shouldn't feel like that. Like it's too soon for me to feel like that about Bucky. Like I'm rushing head first into something and I don't know what I'm doing."

      "Well it's not like you have to tell him how you feel, Steve. You can just thank him for the compliment and leave it at that."

      "I didn't think I...I didn't think I could feel this way....Not this soon. It's too soon for me to be feeling like this. Isn't it?"

      "We all develop connections with people at different paces, you know this. You and Peggy clicked almost instantly-"

      "But Peggy and I didn't work out. Not romantically anyway."

      "And that happens sometimes, братец (bratets*)."

      "I know." Steve said, sighing and rubbing his eyes.

      "What other photos are there?"

      Setting aside the photo of Bucky in his swimsuit, Steve picked up the next one and said, "Looks like this one's of his squad." Studying the photo, he noted that there were nine people in camo uniform pants and khaki colored tees gathered around a parked Humvee and all of them smiling brightly. Flipping the photo over, he saw Bucky's familiar scrawl on the back. _Katie's the one perched on the roof with Clint, I'm on the hood with Gabe. Dum Dum and McDonald are the two burly guys leaning against the door; Dum Dum's the one with the bowler hat. Falsworth and Dernier are next to them on the ground. Morita's the one leaning against the front bumper. Hope this'll help put faces to names when I talk about them._ Setting the photo down, Steve said, "Yup, it was of his squad."

      "And the last one?" Natasha prompted. Picking up the last photo, Steve took one look at it before he burst out laughing. He heard Natasha sigh and ask, "What's funny about this one?"

      "He looks like a chipmunk. Oh god. Tasha. Someone caught him in the middle of stuffing his face with pizza. His eyes are the size of dinner plates and he just looks so shocked but it's fucking adorable." Steve said, giggling as he flipped the photo over to see what was written on the back. _He's going to hate me for sending this one but I had to. It's photographic proof that he's a dork who can't help but stuff his face with pizza when we're on leave. -Clint_

Once Steve's giggles had subsided, Natasha asked, "Are you over your crisis about Bucky finding you attractive? And that you kind of maybe sort of like him more than you thought?"

      "I think so. I'm sorry about calling so late."

      "I was up anyway. Sam and I will see you for breakfast tomorrow right?"

      "I'll have to drop Bucky's package off before I head over so I might be a little late but yeah, I'll be there."

      "Okay, go write your soldier his letter and get some sleep."

      "Thanks, Tasha."

      "No problem, братец."

      Steve ended the call and set his phone down. Glancing between the photos and Bucky's letter, he dug around in the drawer before pulling out a notebook and a pen. Settling himself on the floor, he started to write his response letter.

 

 

> _November 12, 2013_
> 
> _Bucky,_
> 
> _It's kind of crazy how we ended up meeting your sister in the park but I'm glad that we did. And I'm glad that you were able to reconnect and reconcile with her. Maybe next time you're on leave you can go see her and her family. You really don't have to do anything special to thank me, knowing that you're happy is thanks enough. I promise. And I know that you said you didn't need anything for a package but Clint added a list at the end of one of your letters and I got what he said that you needed. Don't be mad at him, he was just trying to help. I picked up most of what was on the list but a couple things are going to have to wait until Christmas. Do you even celebrate Christmas? If not, what do you celebrate?_
> 
> _My health is doing fine. The chest cold only lasted two days and I haven't gotten anything else lately. I've been getting my B12 shots on the regular, taking my heart meds like I'm supposed to, keeping my asthma in check, and generally just taking care of myself. I know what you mean about not being used to worrying about someone who isn't family. I find myself worrying about you a lot and I can't really help it. I don't mind it, obviously, but it's an odd feeling for sure. And I'm glad to hear you were a perfect gentleman. Nurses have it hard enough as it is, no need to make their life harder._
> 
> _Thank you for the photos, you really didn't have to send them but I do appreciate them. I couldn't help but laugh at the one of you stuffing your face with pizza and the one where you look like grumpy cat. I'm sorry but those two are just hilarious and kind of adorable. My favorite by far had to be the one of you reading one of the letters I sent. Do you really keep one on you when you go on a mission or was Clint just fucking with me? And, just so you know, I think you're gorgeous too. Like, really. It's kind of unreal how attractive you are. I mean, I'm finding it a little hard to believe that you find me attractive because I don't see myself like that. At all. There's a reason why I tried to cover as much of my body with tattoos as I could._
> 
> _Oh, speaking of tattoos, I finally found out who Darcy's boyfriend is when I went over to her place so she could do a shoot of my tattoos for her blog. It's Loki fucking Laufeyson. Yeah, my secretary/front-of-shop person is dating the lead singer/guitarist of Jotunn's Rebellion. I was introduced to him while he was wearing Oscar the Grouch pajama bottoms and an "I do what I want" tank top that I'm like 80% sure was actually Darcy's. Oh, and apparently he's the adopted brother of our friend Thor; which is another thing no one told me!_
> 
> _Half the time I wonder if one of my friends is going to turn out to be a super-secret assassin or something because honestly, I wouldn't be surprised at this point. Darcy's dating a rock star, Thor's dad owns some multi-million dollar business that Thor just kind of abandoned, Phil's got some old FBI and CIA connections that he won't explain how he got, and Bruce used to work for the DoD until he had a bit of a breakdown and broke Harlem. Then Tony's the head of Stark Industries but Pepper basically runs Stark Industries because Tony's Tony. And Sam and Riley used to be a part of this highly confidential pararescue thing until Riley got shot out of the sky and lost his leg and Sam kind of lost it when they wouldn't let him into the ICU and accidentally outed them._
> 
> _It's almost one in the morning and I need to get up early to get this package to the post office so I'm ending this here. I look forward to hearing back from you and I hope you enjoy the stuff I sent. Thank Clint since he let me know what you needed._
> 
> _Stay safe, jerk,_
> 
> _Steve_  

      Steve numbered the pages and folded them up. After sticking them in an envelope, he heaved himself up off the floor and walked over to the package sitting on the dining room table. Taking a deep breath, he pulled out the CD and the vacuum-packed quilt and set them aside since he decided as he was writing the letter to wait to send them until he sent out the next package. After tucking the envelope in between two boxes of powdered drink singles, Steve filled it up with newspaper to keep things from moving around too much. Once he was sure everything would stay in place, he taped up the box and made sure to reinforce the bottom seam so it wouldn't randomly pop open. Grabbing a sharpie, he put Bucky's APO address on the box and made sure his rank was listed before his name. He also made sure to fill out the customs forms completely before setting it on top of the box to deal with in the morning. He grabbed the CD, the vacuum-packed quilt, Bucky's letter, and the photos of Bucky before heading back into his bedroom.

            Monty and Nyota were already curled up on the bed when he walked in. Smiling slightly, he set the quilt and the CD on his dresser. Dropping down to his knees, he pulled out the box he was keeping the letters in and opened it. After putting Bucky's letter back in its envelope, he tucked it, and a couple of the more embarrassing photos, into the compartment with the other letters he'd gotten from Bucky. Closing the box, he pushed it back under his bed and stood up. He set the photos of Bucky on his nightstand along with his glasses, his hearing aids, and his phone. After stripping down to his boxers and crawling into bed, he plugged in his phone and set the alarm. He made a mental note to pick up a few picture frames so he could hang up the photo of Bucky's squad, the photo of Bucky reading his letter, and the one of Bucky just smiling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *diminutive form of "brother" in Russian


	6. Of giving thanks and reminders to be safe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve spends Thanksgiving with Natasha and company.

      Steve closed the shop for the week of Thanksgiving so that his friends could spend time with their families. Peggy and her sister went home to visit their parents in Virginia, Sam and Riley were going to California to visit Riley's parents, Darcy was headed out to Wisconsin with Loki to visit the Odinsons, and Nick was headed upstate with Maria to see her family. Steve had been planning on just spending Thanksgiving Day hanging out in his apartment with Monty and Nyota and finishing up some sketches. However, that plan was blown to bits when Natasha waltzed into his apartment late Thursday morning, while he was sitting on his couch in his boxers, and said, "You're having dinner with me, Pepper, Stark, and Bruce. They want us to make your grandmother's apple cake and my grandmother's pastila so you've got to get dressed."

      "Natasha, A dheirfiúr*, I don't have the stuff to make Maimeó's** apple cake. I would've had to buy that yesterday when the shops were, you know, actually opened."

      "Which is why I dug up the recipe card from the box your mother gave me and went shopping yesterday to get everything you need. All of it is currently sitting in my kitchen. And I know you don't have any plans today."

      "I did-"

      "Not anything that couldn't be changed. I mean, unless Barnes is planning on calling your house phone. I'd say he might Skype you, but if that were the case you'd at least have a shirt on. You know, because you have that annoying little thing called modesty."

      "I hate you."

      "No you don't. Now shoo, go get dressed."

      "I'm not dressing like Phil or Tony." Steve said, heaving himself up off the couch and heading back to his bedroom to throw some clothes on.

      "I'd die of shock if I saw you in a three-piece, Rogers!" Natasha called after him, which caused Steve to chuckle and roll his eyes as he walked into his room. He threw on a light blue button up and his nicest pair of boot cut jeans. Once he'd finished making sure his shirt was tucked in and his belt was secured, he pulled on his dark grey V-neck sweater and fixed the cuffs of his shirt. After pulling on a pair of socks and his black dress boots, he ran his comb through his hair and checked his appearance in the mirror, wrinkling his nose slightly at his reflection. Shaking his head, he walked back into the living room to find Natasha studying the photos of Bucky he had sitting on his bookcase along with the rest of the framed photos of their friends and family. She glanced over at him and said, "You weren't kidding when you said that Barnes is cute."

      Blushing, Steve rubbed the back of his neck and said, "I didn't want to put the other photos out because they're a little embarrassing. I didn't think he'd appreciate it."

      "From what you told me, only three could've been embarrassing but you only have two out here."

      "The one of him reading one of my letters is....uh....well, it's sitting on my nightstand. Next to the photo of my mom, my dad, and their parents on Mom and Dad's wedding day and the photo of me, you, and Sam on the carousel from a few weeks ago." Steve admitted, looking anywhere but at Natasha. It'd been a little over two weeks since he called her in the middle of the night to sort through his feelings about Bucky and it still embarrassed him to talk about it. She hadn't teased him about it but it was still a bit cringe worthy for him to think about how off-kilter he was that night.

      "Okay. Do you want to talk about that?"

      "Not really. I'm trying my best to not overanalyze things so can we just get going?" Steve asked, fidgeting slightly. Natasha hummed noncommittally and fixed Steve's collar before nodding and heading towards the door. Steve sighed softly and stole a glance at Bucky's photo before he headed to the foyer to grab his coat, hat, and scarf. Once Natasha was satisfied that he was properly bundled up, she handed him his keys, wallet, and inhaler. Steve rolled his eyes and shoved his wallet in his pocket along with his inhaler before he followed her out the front door. After making sure he had locked the door, he pocketed his keys and followed her down the stairs and out to her car. He knew it was too cold to ride his motorcycle so he slipped in to the passenger's seat without protest.

      It was only a ten minute drive to Natasha and Pepper's condo in Park Slope and it didn't take Natasha long to find a parking spot. Before Steve knew it, he was shuffling into Pepper and Natasha's condo and handing his coat, beanie, and scarf off to Natasha to hang up in the closet across from the front door. After toeing off his boots, Steve padded through the dining room and the kitchen to poke his head into the living room. Bruce glanced up from his e-reader and smiled kindly at Steve. Standing up, Bruce set his e-reader down on the coffee table and said, "Steve, I'm glad that Natasha was able to convince you to come out."

      "Eh, convinced isn't the word I'd use. Where's Tony and Pepper?"

      "They're upstairs, some sort of video conference that couldn't be put off even though it's an American holiday." Bruce said, shrugging slightly. He walked back into the kitchen where Natasha was checking on the bird. "How's the bird coming?"

      "It should be done by three." Natasha said, shutting the oven door and turning around to face Steve and Bruce.

      Steve tucked his hands in his pockets and asked, "You've got a schedule for when we're supposed to have stuff done by, don't you?"

      "Of course I do." Natasha said, rolling her eyes and pulling out three glasses. Steve smiled and shook his head as she set them down on the counter.

      Chuckling softly, Bruce looked over at Steve and asked, "How's your soldier doing?"

      "He's doing well. Darcy and I managed to meet up with his sister at the park the day we went around town to take pictures. She told Darcy something about Bucky that meant a lot and they ended up reconnecting because of it. I sent him out a package a couple weeks ago so he should have gotten that by now." Steve said, watching Natasha pull out the makings of Cherry-Lime Rickeys.

      "Did you put the quilt and CD in it?" Natasha asked, glancing up at him as she mixed them drinks.

      "No, they're going in the Christmas package that I'm mailing out on Tuesday. I should have gotten Bucky's letter by then so I can figure out how I'm dealing with that." Steve said, taking the drink that Natasha offered him with a small smile.

      "What quilt?" Bruce asked, frowning slightly and shooting Steve a curious look.

      Steve took a sip of his drink before he said, "It's the quilt my mom was making for me before she died. She never got to finish it herself and give it to me."

      "And you're giving it to Bucky?"

      "Well, yeah." Steve said, shrugging. "It was just sitting in my closet, collecting dust, and Bucky needs a new one so I figured I might as well give it to him. I paid for someone to put the batting and backing on, obviously, since I have no idea how to make a quilt."

      "Are you going to tell him what it is?" Bruce asked, raising an eyebrow at Steve.

      "I don't know yet." Steve murmured, taking another sip of his drink. Before Bruce could ask any more questions, Tony and Pepper appeared at the base of the stairs.

      "Steve, you came." Tony said, grinning and clapping Steve on the shoulder.

      "Wasn't like I had anything better to do." Steve said, raising an eyebrow at Tony and taking a sip of his drink.

      "How's your soldier doing? Did he enjoy the photos?"

      "Yes. Thank you again for your help with the carousel. You too Pepper."

      "It's no problem, Steve." Pepper said, smiling slightly and rounding the kitchen island to wrap an arm around Natasha's waist. Steve smiled slightly and, after a few minutes of idle chitchat with his friends, allowed Natasha to put him to work making his grandmother's apple cake while Bruce, Tony, and Pepper went to find something on TV to watch.

      Once he got into a steady rhythm of coring, peeling, and chopping the apples, he allowed his mind to wander.  As was typical by this point, he found himself wondering what Bucky was doing. He'd heard from Sam and Riley that holidays aren't very different than normal days on base except for whatever food they serve in the mess. Chewing on his lip, he wondered if Bucky had talked to his sister yet today or if he was even allowed to make calls on the sat phone anymore. He went through the motions of putting together his grandmother's apple cake on autopilot. It helped that he'd made it so many times that he didn't even need to look at the recipe card anymore.

      Working side-by-side with Natasha in the kitchen as they each made their own desserts or prepped a side dish that needed to be put in the oven was relaxing for Steve. He didn't remember the last time he and Natasha had done this. As he was scraping the last of the apple cake batter from the bowl and into the cake pan, Natasha came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist; gently pulling him back into a hug and resting her chin on his shoulder. Setting down the now empty bowl, he leaned back into Natasha's embrace and rested his hands on top of her forearms. Shutting his eyes, he allowed her to just hold him for a moment.

      "You know I love you, right, братец?***" She murmured, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

      "I know, A dheirfiúr*, I know." Steve murmured, smiling slightly as she held him tighter. Tilting his head to look over at her, he frowned and asked, "Is everything alright, Tasha? You're not sick or something, are you?"

      "No, no. I'm fine." Natasha said, letting go of him and leaning back against the counter. She smiled slightly and said, "I just worry about you."

      "Why?" Steve asked, turning around to look at her and lean against the island.

      "Because you're a good person and I don't want to see you get hurt."

      "You think Bucky's going to hurt me."

      "I worry that he might, but I always worry that your datemate might hurt you no matter who they are or how you met." Natasha said, smiling slightly.

      "We're just friends, Natasha."

      "For now. We already know he thinks you're drop dead gorgeous." Natasha teased, smiling cheekily and nudging her foot against Steve's as he rolled his eyes and blushed slightly.

      "He's a good guy. I like him." Steve said, shrugging a shoulder.

      "I'm glad. Just be careful, okay?"

      "I will." Steve said, shooting her a reassuring smile. Wiping his hands on his jeans, he added, "Now, c'mon, we've got a dinner to finish."

      All the food was done by three o'clock on the dot, thanks to Natasha's flawless timing. Bruce and Pepper set the table while Tony helped Natasha and Steve move everything over to the dining room. By the time Natasha had poured them all a glass of wine to go with dinner and everyone had gotten seated at the table, Steve was starving. He smiled slightly as Pepper looked around the group and asked, "Who wants to say grace?"

      "Atheist, saying grace makes me break out in a rash." Tony joked, smiling slightly as Bruce elbowed him gently.

      Shaking his head, Steve smiled slightly at Tony and shared a look with Natasha, who suggested, "Since none of us are very big on God or religion, how about we just go around the table and say something we're thankful for?"

      "I think that's the safest bet with this clown." Steve said, smacking Tony's hand as he reached for a roll.

      "Ow, damn it, Rogers. You've got a boney hand."

      "No shit. And since you reached for the food first, you get to say what you're thankful for first."

      Sighing and rolling his eyes, Tony shut his eyes and hummed a little as he ran through a mental list of what he could say. Opening his eyes, he looked down at his plate and said, "I'm thankful that my heart's gone another year without incident."

      Bruce reached over and rubbed Tony's back with one hand. Thinking for a moment, he smiled slightly and said, "I'm thankful that I've found a place where I belong with people who care about me."

      Looking over at Bruce with a small smile, Tony pecked him on the lips and said, "You're family, Brucie. There's no getting rid of any of us now."

      Pepper smiled slightly and said, "I'm thankful that everyone's in good health."

      "I'm thankful that I'm not being dragged out on Black Friday tomorrow." Natasha said, looking over at Pepper, who simply rolled her eyes instead of responding

      "I'm thankful for my family and friends, both old and new." Steve said, sharing a small smile with Natasha before she clapped her hands and announced that everyone could dig in. Steve glanced around at his friends and chuckled softly as Pepper and Tony started bickering over the cranberry sauce while Bruce dutifully carved the turkey for everyone. Dinner itself was wonderful and the conversation certainly wasn't lacking. He ended up spending a good twenty minutes talking with Tony about the new hearing aids that Stark Industries' medical division of R&D were working on.

      "Seriously, Steve, if you want to get in on the test run, I'd be happy to get a pair for you." Tony said as he and Bruce cleared the dinner plates.

      Leaning back in his chair, Steve took a sip of wine and said, "It's fine, Tony. My hearing aids work just fine. But if that changes, I'll try the new StarkTech ones out, okay?"

      "Fine. But the offer's there." Tony said, putting the plates in the dishwasher as Bruce and Pepper started packing away the leftovers.

      "We should play Cards Against Humanity." Natasha said, taking a sip of her wine.

      "Sounds like a plan to me." Steve said, shooting her a grin as she got up to go get the game.

      "You two scare me when you play that." Pepper said, glancing between them.

      "I find it hilarious." Bruce said, stacking the containers of leftovers in the fridge for Pepper.

      "That's because you have a very morbid sense of humor, big guy." Tony said, grabbing his wine glass and heading towards the living room.

      Chuckling softly, Steve stood up and grabbed his glass before following Tony into the living room. It wasn't long before Pepper and Bruce had joined them and Natasha had returned with the box containing the cards. As Natasha set everything up, Steve looked around the room and wondered what it'd be like if Bucky were with them.

      "Steve? You okay over there?" Bruce asked, shooting Steve a concerned look.

      Steve looked over at Bruce with a sheepish smile and replied, "Yeah, sorry. Just thinking."

      "You're even more distracted than Coulson has been lately." Tony commented, taking a sip of his wine and raising an eyebrow.

      "Coulson's got a new boyfriend, he's allowed to be distracted." Natasha said, raising an eyebrow at Tony.

      "Wait, what? Agent's seeing someone?" Tony asked, staring at Natasha in shock.

      "Skype dates every Wednesday and Friday from what I can gather." Natasha said, as she dealt out the white cards.

      "Who's this person? How did they meet? Is he trustworthy?" Tony asked, frowning slightly as he refilled his wineglass.

      "I don't know his real name, just a nickname. Apparently Phil and Hawkeye worked together for a few years before Phil changed careers and moved to Brooklyn. They lost contact a few months after that but Hawk found Phil on Facebook after we made him create a profile last month. If Phil trusts him, then I suppose he's trustworthy."

      "What did Phil do before he came here? He never told me." Steve asked, frowning slightly and looking at his cards.

      "Something with the government. I honestly don't think he's allowed to talk about it." Natasha said, shrugging as she looked at her cards.

      "I don't really like the idea of one of our friends dating someone none of us knows anything about." Tony said, frowning.

      "I don't remember you putting up this much of a fight when Sam brought Riley into the fold." Steve said, shooting Tony a questioning look.

      "That's because Rhodey knew Riley and assured him that he wouldn't hurt Sam." Pepper said, smiling slightly as Tony huffed.

      "What about when I came into the group. I don't remember much drama surrounding that. And I didn't know any of you before I met Steve at the pride parade." Bruce said, frowning slightly.

      "You came to Steve's defense, you couldn't've been that bad." Tony said, shrugging.

      Pepper tutted and, pointing a finger at Tony, said, "I call bullshit on that, Anthony Stark."

      "The real reason is that Tony wanted to climb you like a tree so he didn't cause drama." Steve said, smirking as Tony squawked indignantly and Bruce chuckled. After draining the rest of his wine, he set his glass down and added, "Besides, when he found out that before you were a yoga instructor you were a scientist who specialized in multiple fields and had a brilliant mind, he was officially gone on you."

      "Then why exactly did it take him a year and a half to ask me on a date?" Bruce asked, looking over at Tony.

      "Because right after I met you, my heart had an episode that put me in the hospital and on the transplant list. I didn't want to start a relationship with you when I could've dropped dead on you the next day." Tony said, rolling his eyes. Looking over at Bruce, he added, "After I got the transplant, I had to go through a major lifestyle change and I wanted to get my shit sorted before I brought you into that."

      "And I thank every deity in existence that he finally got his shit together because the pining was getting to be unbearable." Pepper said, taking a sip of her wine.

      "And you've been together ever since so mazel tov. Now let's get started." Natasha said, looking around at the others with an expectant expression. Steve chuckled as Tony drew a black card since he was always card czar the first round.

~~~

      Around two in the afternoon on Saturday, Steve shuffled downstairs to check his mail. He smiled slightly when he saw that the only mail that he had was Bucky's letter. After shutting and locking his mailbox, Steve headed back up to his apartment. Once back inside his apartment, he headed back into his bedroom and flopped down on his bed. Ripping open the envelope, he pulled out Bucky's letter and unfolded it so that he could read it.

 

 

 

> _23 November 2013_
> 
> _Steve,_
> 
> _You're too good to me. I really ought to be mad at Clint but the fact that I get to horde these awesome cookies you made is good enough pay back. Where did you learn to bake? Because these things are divine and I'm having to fight to keep my squad away from them. I can't believe he told you I needed underwear though. That's just not cool. But anyway, thank you. For everything. I guess it's kind of pointless to say you don't have to send me a Christmas package since you'll probably just ignore me and send it anyway. And yes, I do celebrate Christmas. But I was raised in the Eastern Orthodox Church so, growing up Christmas was always on the 7th for us. After I enlisted, I lapsed and actually converted to agnosticism after some of the shit I've seen over here. Nowadays, I celebrate it on the 25th with the rest of my squad. What about you? Do you celebrate Christmas? Any special traditions or anything?_
> 
> _Ever since I reconnected with my sister, we've been exchanging e-mails. She's been really supportive and apologetic; which just feels weird. But like a good weird. She's also been flooding my inbox with photos of my niece and nephew, who are 6 year old twins and absolutely adorable. To be honest, it's all a little overwhelming. I love her and I love her kids but there's times where I don't know how to handle all the information being dumped on me. I don't want to ask her to slow down because I missed her and I want to know everything but, sweet baby Jesus, multiple daily e-mails feels a little like overkill. I really shouldn't be bitching about this; it's a good thing that we're talking again and probably one of the best things that's happened to me over here._
> 
> _I can't believe those guys included the freaking pizza photo when they know how much I hate it. Clint did say it was supposed to make you laugh, so I guess it did its job and I can't be too mad. I didn't even know they had a photo of me reading one of your letters but I'm glad that you liked it. By the way, Clint wasn't just fucking with you. I do actually keep your latest letter in my pocket when we go on missions. I also keep two photos on my person at all time, one of my sister and her kids and the one of you. Mainly as a reminder that I actually have a reason, other than self-preservation, to get back to base safely._
> 
> _Pretty much every soldier carries something with them on missions. Dum Dum keeps his girlfriend's latest letter on him as well as a photo, McDonald carries around a photo of his kids, Katie carries a photo of her parents, Morita carries a photo of his wife and their baby girl, Clint carries a photo of his brother and his new boyfriend, and Gabe's taken to carrying a photo of Peggy that he nicked from the photos you sent to me. Falsworth and Dernier both keep a wedding band on their dog tags but neither of them are married or divorced. I've chosen not to question that one for the sake of my own sanity. And plausible deniability since two people in the same squad aren't allowed to be in a relationship._
> 
> _I can't believe you met Loki Laufeyson. While he was wearing Oscar the Grouch pajama pants no less. So jealous right now, you don't even know. I've been wanting to meet that guy since I listened to Sibling Rivalry back in high school but I never had any cash to buy tickets before I enlisted and now he's never on tour when I have leave. It's a little odd that your friend Thor never told you they were related. But then again, going off of what I've read, it's not that surprising since they don't have the greatest relationship in the world._
> 
> _I'm not a super-secret assassin but I am a sniper and my team does do spec ops even though we're not technically Green Berets. We all have the training but we're not officially part of the force because of Katie. Actually, we're a test group to see how women handle the stress of being on spec ops missions while not actually allowing them on official spec ops forces. It's a bunch of bureaucratic bullshit that took some fancy legal work to clear but I get to keep one hell of a soldier on my team so I don't really care._
> 
> _Gabe and Clint actually follow Darcy's blog and they mentioned that you were on there. I haven't had a chance to check the photos out but Gabe said that your tattoos are amazing. Clint just had this shit-eating grin and kept telling me that I needed to find the time to go look at them. I get the feeling that he knows something that I don't. Being out of the loop is a disconcerting feeling. I don't like it._
> 
> _I guess, going off of everything that you've told me, I can understand why you don't see yourself that way even if I disagree. You're an amazing guy, Steve. Anyone would be lucky to have you as a boyfriend and if they can't see that then it's their loss._
> 
> _I've got to get going, we've got a transport mission tomorrow and I need to get some sleep. I hope you have/had a good Thanksgiving and get/got to spend time with family and friends. I look forward to hearing from you._
> 
> _Take care of yourself, punk,_
> 
> _Bucky_

      Steve smiled and glanced at the photo of Bucky that was sitting on his bookshelf. Pulling out a pen and pad of paper, he started writing.

_November 30, 2014_

 

 

> _Bucky,_
> 
> _My mom taught me how to bake. We used to spend hours in the kitchen on her days off making whatever we could afford to at the time. A lot of the recipes I use have been passed down in my family for generations. A few of them even originated in Ireland from before my ancestors immigrated to the US in the 20s. A lot of my fondest memories of her revolved around the kitchen and baking. She was a nurse so she worked long hours and there wasn't a lot of free time but what free time she did have, she spent with me. After Natasha came to live with us the summer before 8th grade, my mom took it upon herself to teach both of us pretty much every recipe that she had. In return, Natasha taught us to make a lot of the Russian dishes that her grandparents had taught her. I still can't make knish or lymonnyk taste as good as when she makes it._
> 
> _I do celebrate Christmas, but I'm not very big on the religious aspect of it either. I was raised Irish Catholic but I've since lapsed and I'm leaning more towards agnostic than Christian. There's still some traditions that I follow that my mom taught me as a kid but most of them are kind of pointless since I'm usually alone on Christmas. I mean, I spend Thanksgiving with Natasha and Pepper and Tony and Bruce usually join us. And Tony throws a New Year's Eve party every year that I always go to but I'm usually alone on Christmas. Sometimes Sam and Riley will stop in but they tend to spend the holidays with either Riley's parents or Sam's parents. I don't even really decorate the apartment anymore and I honestly can't remember the last time I had an actual tree. This is getting incredibly depressing to think about so I'm going to switch topics._
> 
> _It's okay to feel overwhelmed, Buck. You just started talking to your sister again after a decade of radio silence. I think she just wants to include you in her life so badly that she's going a bit overboard. It happens sometimes. I do suggest talking to your sister about slowing down a little. I don't think she'll hold it against you as long as you're honest about it. And never feel like you're not allowed to feel a certain way about something or feel bad for venting to me. It's what I'm here for, okay? You can talk to me about anything and I'll do my best to help you through it._
> 
> _If it makes you feel any better about the photos, I'm sure that if my friends had been in charge of looking for photos of me instead of just taking them when I wasn't paying attention you would've gotten a lot of really embarrassing photos of me. I'm sure Natasha has some baby photos or awkward middle school photos tucked away just waiting to be used as blackmail or something. And I don't know why Clint would be telling you to go check out those photos. They're nothing special. Not really. I mean, unless you really want to see me in my boxers then feel free to go check them out._
> 
> _You're right about the Christmas package. I would've just ignored you and sent it anyway. Glad to know you're such a quick learner about what it means to be friends with me. I had Peggy ask Gabe what you'd like this time since I was sure that you wouldn't actually tell me what you might like. I'm picking up the last of the stuff I need to get on Monday after I get my B12 shot so the box will go out on the 3rd. It should get to you before Christmas but I can't make any promises on that one. And I think you were right about Peggy and Gabe starting up a long-distance relationship sometime in the near future. I don't think I've seen her this excited about someone since college._
> 
> _On a related note, according to what Natasha said at Thanksgiving, our friend Phil reconnected with someone he used to know before he moved to Brooklyn and they've been having Skype dates every Wednesday and Friday for a while, schedules permitting, of course. I mean, you probably don't really care all that much but this is kind of big news for our friend group because none of us have ever really seen Phil date anyone past the third date. Anyway, I figured I should share what good news I have, even if it's not much._
> 
> _It's getting late and I still have to make myself dinner so I'm going to end this here. I hope your mission went well and I look forward to hearing back from you._
> 
> _Stay safe, jerk,_
> 
> _Steve_

       After numbering the pages and tucking them into a pre-addressed envelope, Steve sealed it up and dropped it on the table. Standing, he headed into the kitchen and started to make himself dinner as Monty and Nyota wound their way around his ankles.

~~~

      Monday night, after Steve had finished packing up the homemade cookies he'd made earlier that day into individual containers, he packed everything he'd gotten or made for Bucky into a box and filled it with newspaper to keep everything from bouncing around too much. Before he closed it up, he wrote a quick note to put in the care package.

 

 

 

>         _Bucky,_
> 
> _The ground coffee's from some shop that Tony recommended and the tea is that amazing Indian spice one that I told you about. The dried fruit, beef jerky, and mixed nuts were suggestions from Gabe. Cookies are as follows: chocolate espresso pinwheel, the triple chocolate ones I sent last time, gingersnap, cherry chocolate chip, lemon sugar cookies, buckeyes, eggnog snickerdoodles, cherry icebox cookies, chocolate lemon shortbread, and a few different types of Knotts Berry Farm cookies. For the love of God, do not try to eat all of these yourself or horde them! Share with your squad! I will have Peggy check with Gabe to see if you shared._
> 
> _The CD is a gift from Darcy and Loki; apparently it's a pre-release CD that's only available to the band members. I bubble wrapped the shit out of it so it won't get broken in-transit. The quilt's from me. It's actually the quilt I was telling you about, the one my mom was making for me before she died. Both Clint and Gabe said that you needed a new one so, because I wasn't using this one and I know my mom would've wanted it to get some use, I decided to give it to you and paid someone to finish it. I made sure to wash it a few times so it's nice and soft and ready to use. And, if the thought of keeping it makes you uncomfortable, you can always just give it back to me when you come home for good._
> 
> _Oh, and if you ever want to Skype me, my username is s.g.rogers85. I'm usually on during the day on Mondays and early morning/late evening any other day of the week._
> 
> _Merry Christmas,_
> 
> _Steve_

      Steve tucked the note into the box before sealing it up tight. After addressing the box and filling out the customs form, Steve made sure his apartment was locked up for the night and headed to his bedroom. Picking up his phone, he texted Sam to make sure he was still able to pick Steve up the next morning so he could get the care package to the post office. After Sam sent back a text to confirm the time, Steve changed into his pajamas and crawled into bed with Monty and Nyota. As soon as he was settled, the two curled up against his chest. Smiling slightly, he buried his hand in Monty's fur and allowed himself to drift off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *my sister in Irish Gaelic  
> **name for grandmother in Irish Gaelic  
> ***diminutive form of brother, Russian


	7. Of Letters and Hospital Stays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve ends up in the hospital. Bucky's letter is pretty much the only thing that'll make him smile.

      The morning of December 9th found Steve sitting in the waiting room of the urgent care facility in Brooklyn Heights with Natasha. As another round of coughing racked his body, he curled further into himself and groaned. Grimacing, he spit out the mucus that came up into a tissue as Natasha rubbed his back soothingly. Glancing over at her, he muttered, "Sorry about this. I was fine a few days ago."

      "It's probably pneumonia again. You know how quickly that shit hits you." She said, continuing to rub her hand across his back in a circular motion.

      "Let's just hope it's bacterial this time and not viral." Steve muttered despondently and leaning a little closer to her. Letting his eyes slip shut, he rested his head in his hands and tried not to think too hard about the pain in his chest that was making it even harder to breath than normal. After another thirty minutes of waiting, Steve heard a familiar voice calling his name. Glancing up, he smiled weakly when he saw Dr. Reyes walking towards them.

      "Aren't you supposed to be at Sinai?" Steve asked, raising an eyebrow.

      Sitting down in the open seat across from him, she rolled her eyes and said, "Any time you come in here, I get a phone call because 9 times out of 10 we end up transferring you to Sinai anyway. I came as quickly as I could." She eyed him carefully and asked, "What's it feel like this time?"

      "Pneumonia. Can't tell if it's bacterial, fungal, or viral. I'm not that good." Steve said, smiling weakly before coughing and wheezing painfully.

      "Okay, let's get you transferred over to Sinai and get a few tests ordered. Given your medical history, I don't want to push antibiotics until we know what it is that's rattling around in your chest because it could just make things worse." Dr. Reyes said, standing up and motioning for a nurse to come by with a wheelchair. Steve wrinkled his nose but allowed the nurse to help him into the chair and wheel him away. He glanced back at Natasha and shot her a small, hopefully reassuring, smile as he turned the corner.

      Thankfully, the transfer, paperwork, and preliminary test results didn't take as long as it usually did. By late afternoon, Dr. Reyes had gone over the few options that they had since he did in fact have pneumonia and it was bacterial this time. After deciding on a course of treatment, Dr. Reyes went to go inform Natasha of what was going on. As well as allow her to see him after the nurses had administered the first round of antibiotics and painkillers so that his chest would stop hurting so much every time he coughed. The nurses kept a close eye on him because of his asthma and they seemed twitchier than normal every time he had a particularly bad coughing fit.

      Natasha sat with him until visiting hours were over and she assured him that one of their friends would be by to visit the next day. She also promised that she would check his mail for him when she stopped in to feed Monty and Nyota. After she left, Steve settled back into the bed and stared at the ceiling, wondering if he was going to make it home for Christmas this year or if he'd be stuck in the ICU like he had been a few years back. Sighing softly, he shut his eyes and tried to get a little rest.

~~~

      The afternoon of the 13th, Sam stopped by with Steve's mail and, sitting down in the rather uncomfortable visitor's chair, said, "Looks like you've got a letter from your soldier."

      Steve groaned and turned his head to look at Sam. His chest was feeling a little better but not by much. The pneumonia was still thriving in his chest and it was painful to even breathe too deeply. There had also been some complications with the painkillers interfering with his heart medicine so he had gone off of them last night. Until Dr. Reyes figured out a different one to use that wouldn't cause adverse side effects when interacting with his other medication, he would have to do without any relief from the pain. Raising an eyebrow, he held out his hand for Bucky's letter and said, "Can I have my letter then?"

      "Only if you promise not to over-exert yourself reading it." Sam said, holding the letter just out of reach.

      "Sam, I'm in a lot of pain right now and I'm not allowed to have any painkillers since it's fucking with my heart medication. Not to mention the fact that it's looking like I'm going to have to spend Christmas in here. So can you please just give me the damn letter? Because I really need something to take my mind off the fact that I seriously hate my body right now." Steve said, scowling slightly and wiggling his fingers slightly. Sam eyed him for a moment before handing over the letter. Steve shot him a grateful look as he carefully opened the envelope and pulled out Bucky's letter. 

> _7 December 2013_
> 
> _Steve,_
> 
> _The mission went okay, nothing too terrible happened. Katie managed to sprain her ankle when we were ambushed by a couple insurgents on the way back so she's going to be out of commission until it heals up. But Clint and I handled it and there weren't any other injuries on our side. We managed to get our objective completed and get back to base in one piece and without any extra holes in our bodies so it's still counts as a win in my book._
> 
> _By the way, I took your advice and talked to my sister about feeling a little overwhelmed by everything. She apologized and said she'd tone it down a little. I just hope she doesn't swing towards the opposite direction where we don't talk for months at a time. I guess only time will tell._
> 
> _If you don't mind me asking, why did Natasha come to live with you and your mom? You've mentioned it a few times but never really explained why. You don't have to tell me, especially if it's something that Natasha wouldn't want a virtual stranger to know, but I am pretty curious since you two seem close. Oh, and your friend Phil isn't the only one who's gotten himself a boyfriend recently. Clint will not shut up about his new boyfriend; whose name he refuses to tell us and only refers to him as Boss or occasionally Cheese. I swear, if I didn't love the guy like a brother, I'd break my foot off in his ass for kicking me out of our room two nights a week so they can have Skype dates in peace._
> 
> _And hardy-har-har, I'm not that slow when it comes to figuring out the boundaries of being friends with people, punk. You're just a special case because I don't handle people giving me stuff very well and you seem to want to give me all the things. Gabe did inform me that I'm just going to have to nut up and get the hell over it because, according to Peggy, you're a persistent little shit. So yeah, congrats on officially breaking me of being a shithead about receiving your gifts. Hey, think you can get me a pony?_
> 
> _In all seriousness though, thank you. For everything you've done so far and for whatever ends up in that Christmas package. I'll figure out a way to make it up to you when I'm on leave. Maybe I'll take you down to Coney Island on your day off and, if it's open, we can ride the Cyclone or something. Or I could take you out to dinner and a show. Whatever you'd like._
> 
> _Oh, I now know why Clint kept giving me a shit-eating grin about the photos up on Darcy's blog. Did you okay the ones that Darcy put up? I only ask because some of those looked like they belonged in a Playgirl magazine not a blog dedicated to tattoos. Also, I refuse to believe that what you were wearing could be counted as boxers or boxer briefs. They reminded me more like the tiny spandex shorts Connie used to wear for volleyball than any sort of boxer brief I've ever seen or worn. Cotton does not cling to someone's ass like that, okay? ~~And you have a nice one, by the way. Just thought you should know that in case no one's told you lately~~. _
> 
> _Clint's yelling at me to shut out the light so I better get going. I swear I'm going to hurt him if the new B-huts aren't done soon._
> 
> _Take care of yourself, punk,  
> _ _Bucky_

       Steve smiled slightly and glanced over at Sam, who was watching him closely. Raising an eyebrow, he asked, "What?"

      "I think that's the first time I've seen you smile like that since you and Peggy broke up."

      "Smile like what?"

      Sam raised an eyebrow and asked, "Do I really need to say it?"

      Blushing, Steve shot Sam a half-hearted glare and muttered, "I'm _not_ in love with Bucky."

      "Steve, you nearly bit my head off when I wouldn't give you the letter right away."

      "I'm not having this conversation right now." Steve said, sitting up and wincing slightly as his chest gave a painful twinge. Before he knew it, he was hunched over and coughing violently while Sam rubbed his back and held out the small basin for him to spit out the gunk coming loose from his chest. After his coughing fit was over and it felt like he'd hacked up most of his lungs, Steve leaned back against his pillows and groaned brokenly.

      Sam set aside the basin and watched Steve carefully. Sighing softly, he leaned back in his seat and said, "I know you don't want to talk about it, but you really need to. Natasha said that after that late night phone call, you've refused to talk about it again. Steve, you gave him the blanket your mother made you. The one you packed away right after she died and never looked at again until last month."

      Steve stared down at the thin hospital blanket covering his legs and murmured, "I know."

      "Look, I can't make you talk to me about it, but I do think you should talk to someone."

      Steve glanced over and, with a small guilty smile, said, "I don't know when it happened. One day, he's just this guy I'm writing to and the next....the next, he's important. Like, extremely important. And then he said he found me attractive and...I don't know why I feel the way I do. I don't even know when it happened and that's a little terrifying. Sam, it's only been four months. And we haven't even Skyped. It's just letters."

      "There's no rules in this kind of thing, Steve. You know that as well as I do."

      "I just. I know Mom would want it to get some use and....and if she was still alive, she'd take him in just like she took in Natasha so I figured it was safe to send to him."

      Sam scowled and, shifting in his seat, said, "Natasha was a scared thirteen year old who's entire family had just either been killed or tossed in jail for connections with the Russian mob and your mother was the only one with a legal claim to her. Bucky is a twenty-nine year old solider-"

      "Who until I reconnected him with his sister by complete accident, didn't have anyone but his squad and me." Steve said, cutting Sam off and reaching for the bottle of water sitting on his tray. After taking a sip, he continued, "I don't know what happened to his mother but it doesn't look like she's in the picture anymore since he never talks about her in the present tense and our fathers both died in the same attack overseas. When you were in the Air Force, you still had me and Natasha on the outside. For over a decade, Bucky hasn't had _anyone_ on the outside. If you don't think that my mother would have jumped through hoops for him when she found out, then we remember two very different women."

      "All I'm saying is that it's a different situation, Steve."

      "Sam, I don't want to fight about this. I'm tired, sick, and in a hell of a lot of pain. I like Bucky, a lot, and I sent him the damn quilt because he needed one and I wasn't going to use the fucking thing." Steve said, rubbing his eye tiredly and setting the water bottle back down. Looking over at Sam, he asked, "Can you hand me the StarkPad in my bag, please?"

      Sam eyed him again before letting it go and grabbing tablet from Steve's duffle bag and handing it over. Settling back into his seat, he asked, "What'd you need it for?"

      "Bucky mentioned something about the photos of me that Darcy put up on her blog and it made me realize that I haven't actually seen them." Steve said, turning the tablet on.

      Sam snorted and said, "I'm not surprised. You would've demanded that she take them down if you had."

      "They're of my tattoos, they can't be that bad." Steve said, rolling his eyes and pulling up Darcy's blog.

      "Oh, I am so filming this reaction." Sam said, pulling out his phone as Steve scrolled through Darcy's blog.

      "It looks like she's branched out from just doing shoots of tattoos done at Saoirse. Some of these models don't even have tattoos." Steve said, cocking his head as he flicked through a photo set of a couple in Central Park.

      "She said she was getting bored so she started expanding a little. Everyone she photographs is alternative in some way but they don't necessarily have to have tattoos. I know there's a few on there that are very tasteful nudes. Riley thought she should do her own show at a gallery but she said that she wasn't _that_ serious about it and that she liked working with us."

      Steve hummed softly and stopped when he got to the post about him, the photos weren't displayed front and center like the others had been. He frowned slightly when he saw the title was a click through link. Glancing over at Sam, who was gleefully recording him, he asked, " _Laying it bare_? Really? I wasn't even naked."

      "Just read the artist's note before the pictures, it'll make sense." Sam assured him, grinning brightly as he continued to record Steve on his phone. Steve rolled his eyes and looked back down at the tablet in his hands. Frowning slightly, he read the note Darcy had written above the photo set. 

> _Steve Rogers is probably one of the greatest tattoo artists New York has ever seen. He's also probably one of the greatest men New York has seen in a very long time. He doesn't tolerate bullies or any bullshit. He cracks jokes that make everyone in the shop groan at their cheesiness and can make the most fucked up yet absolutely hilarious choices for cards while playing Cards Against Humanity. He's always got a smile for whomever he meets and is always willing to help anyone and everyone who needs it._
> 
> _Even though he's a very open and friendly guy, not a lot of people are welcomed into Steve's inner-circle. I'm lucky enough to be one of the few he counts as a close friend and I treasure that fact. I also treasure the fact that he finally felt comfortable enough, with me and with himself, to allow me to do this shoot. If there's one thing that everyone in Steve's inner-circle knows, it's that Steve does not like his body. He may not hate it anymore, but he certainly doesn't love it._
> 
> _He once told me that he started getting tattoos because he wanted to hide the parts of himself that he hated most. I can't see what he sees when he looks at his body because what I see is a beautiful young man whose smile lights up a room and who is so good that sometimes I don't believe he's real. This is the first time that all of his tattoos are being put on display for everyone to see and I started this with the intent of it just being a simple display, like the hundreds of ones I've done before of other Saoirse Ink customers._
> 
> _But I realized, this is, in a way, Steve laying himself bare. He's willing to allow me to show all of you not only this beautiful artwork but the parts of himself that he hates the most. I don't think that it was anything conscious on his part but I am grateful that I was trusted enough to do this._  

      Steve stared down at the tablet and, wiping away the involuntary tears, said, "I didn't think of it like that but now that I do...." He chuckled wetly and set the tablet down for a moment while he dried his eyes.

      Sam smiled slightly and said, "You haven't even gotten to the best part. The photos she took of you are damn gorgeous."

      "Bucky said something about my boxers...." Steve said, frowning slightly and picking up Bucky's letter again. Quickly scanning it, he said, "Ah, yeah, my boxers didn't look like boxers but rather spandex volleyball shorts."

      "Well, they were a little tight."

      "They're like a half a size too small. I'm pretty sure that's why she had me wear them." Steve admitted, shrugging slightly and picking up his tablet again and flicking through the photos of himself. Darcy did a wonderful job and he frowned slightly, wondering what photo Bucky was referring to until he reached the last couple photo. He blushed and murmured, "Oh, that photo."

      "Which one?"

      "The one where I'm sitting on the couch with my hands covering my crotch and my legs spread so she could get a better shot of the griffin that's wrapped around my leg."

      "Oh, I thought you'd gotten to the one where you're sprawled out your back on the couch with your arms above your head. Not gonna lie, man, those boxer briefs make your...eh-hem...look pretty damn big."

      "Oh my god." Steve said, swiping right and seeing just the photo Sam was talking about. "That has to be the one that....fuck. Shit shit shit. No. I didn't realize it looked like that!"

      "Steve, it's okay."

      "I didn't know what Bucky meant by "belonged in a Playgirl" but Jesus shit. I...I...Why did she choose this one?"

      "Probably because it gave her a clear shot of the quote on your ribs and a good portion of the griffin." Sam said, tucking his phone away and frowning slightly. "It's alright, Steve, you look good in the photos."

      "Well, yeah, Darcy wouldn't let me look like a moron but...Oh fuck, Bucky's seen these. And so have Gabe and Clint. Ah fuck me sideways." Steve said, setting down his tablet and burying his face in his hands.

      "I can't exactly help you with that one, Stevie, Riley's not one to share." Sam joked, grinning as Steve groaned and flipped him the bird.

      "I hate you."

      "No you don't. You're just embarrassed because Barnes has seen you in your underwear." Sam said, leaning back in his chair and grinning.

      "You're the actual worst. Can you hand me the legal pad and pen out of my duffle? I need to write my return letter before I get too tired and forget."

      "Sure thing." Sam said, reaching over and pulling the pad of paper and pen out before handing them over to Steve. Steve shot him a small smile before he focused on writing his response letter. 

> _December 13, 2013_
> 
> _Bucky,_
> 
> _I hope that Katie's recovering well and I'm glad to hear that no one on your team was otherwise injured. It's good to hear that you talked to your sister. I'm sure that she won't swing too far in the other direction since it sounds like she really wants to keep you in her life now that you guys have reconnected._
> 
> _I don't feel comfortable sharing Natasha's story. It's not that I don't trust you or that I don't want to tell you, it's just something that she needs to share herself. I can tell you that she spent time at my house a lot before she had to come live with us so it wasn't too hard of a transition. There was a few times in high school that it got really awkward having to share a room with her though._
> 
> _I'm sorry that Clint's being annoying. I'm sure it's just because he's excited for his relationship. It'll wear off soon, I promise. The honeymoon stage doesn't last forever. And do not hurt him, that'll only cause more issues for you. And paperwork. Lots and lots of paperwork. I don't understand the need to keep his name secret though. Phil's doing the same thing. He only refers to his boyfriend as Hawk or Hawkeye. Which I'm fairly certain isn't actually on the guy's birth certificate. But hey, as long as he's happy, I can't complain. Natasha and Maria are certainly happy about it since it means that Phil's less of a hardass on them during training._
> 
> _You really don't have to make it up to me but, depending on when you're on leave, I won't say no to a Mets game. Or the Cyclones if you're more into minor league baseball. It's kind of a tradition with me, Sam, and Natasha to go to at least one Mets game and one Cyclones game a season. And, for as long as I've lived in Brooklyn, I've never actually ridden the Cyclone. I tend to stick to the boardwalk or the Ferris wheel but I guess there's a first time for everything. Since I'm sure you'd like to spend time with your actual family while you're on leave, maybe we can head out to the carousel with your niece and nephew or take them to the zoo or something. I mean, it'd be up to your sister but spending time with your family is important._
> 
> _I didn't actually okay any of the photos she put up and I hadn't looked at them until right before writing this letter. I kind of liked them? Even the ones that I'm pretty sure are the ones you thought belonged in a Playgirl. I don't know. It's the first time I've seen photos of myself shirtless that I didn't absolutely hate on sight so I can't be too mad about them. Oh, by the way, Darcy actually tells me that pretty much every time that I wear skinny jeans. But, it's nice to hear from someone other than her. ~~Someone who I actually want to hear it from.~~_
> 
> _I should probably tell you that I'm writing this from the ICU and I've been in here since the 9th. I've got a bad case of bacterial pneumonia and it's looking like I won't be home for Christmas. I don't know what sucks more, the thought of spending Christmas alone with my cats or the thought of spending Christmas in the ICU while I'm hacking up a lung trying to get this shit out of my chest. Oh, and the painkillers were interfering with my heart medication so I had to go off of them last night so I'm in a fuckton of pain as well as just being generally crabby. As much as I love my friends, their doting over me while I'm in here is getting on my nerves. This happens at least once a year, I'm not going to drop dead because of a stupid case of pneumonia. I know it's just because they worry and I shouldn't be bitching but it's just so annoying when they treat me like I'm going to break at any moment._
> 
> _I think Tony's the only one who doesn't treat me like that and that's only because he knows what it's like to be stuck in a hospital. I think it's also because he remembers that I never treated him like he was breakable when his heart gave out on him even when everyone else did. Hell, any time I land in the hospital for more than a night, he gives me side work to do so he can justify paying me far more than I'd ever charge so that I don't have to dip into the shop's house cut to pay myself and my bills. It bothers me, sometimes, when he tries to pay me so much more than I'd charge but I also don't want to look a gift horse in the mouth. At least he hasn't tried to pay me a million dollars for a simple illustration of a potential new product after what happened the last time._
> 
> _I'm actually exhausted so I'm going to end this here. Don't hurt Clint, he's in the honeymoon phase and will be back to normal soon. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. Just take care of yourself, okay?_
> 
> _Stay safe, jerk,  
> _ _Steve._

      Steve numbered the pages and folded them up. He blinked in surprise when Sam handed him a pre-addressed, pre-stamped envelope from his duffle bag with a small smile. Returning his friend's smile, he stuffed the letter into the envelope and promptly sealed it. He handed the letter he'd just written to Sam, who tucked it into his jacket pocket to drop in a mailbox on his way home. Steve picked up Bucky's letter again and, after skimming it, said, "Bucky thinks I have a nice butt...."

      "Well, you do. Even Riley thinks so."

      "Huh." Steve said, tucking the letter away and setting it on his table.

      "I'm going to head out. Drop this off in a mailbox and then get home to Riley. You going to be okay?"

      "Yeah, I'll be fine. Tell Riley I said hi." Steve said, smiling tiredly.

      "Alright, man, get some rest." Sam said, standing up and wiping his hands on his pants. "I'll see you again soon okay?"

      "Who's on rotation for tomorrow?"

      "I think it's Tony's turn. If Bruce can drag him out of the lab."

      "Alright. Thanks, Sam. And I'm sorry about earlier."

      "It's fine, Steve. You're dealing with some shit. I totally understand." Sam smiled slightly and, leaning over, pressed a kiss to Steve's forehead. Pulling back, he said, "I'll see you around, brother. Don't drop dead on us, okay?"

      "I won't. Now get out of here before your boyfriend starts to worry." Steve said, smiling slightly as Sam grinned and headed out the door.

~~~

      It was close to midnight on the 23rd by the time Steve got home from the hospital. Natasha shooed him into the bathroom to take a shower while she fixed him a cup of tea to warm up. The weather and traffic had been horrendous causing what was usually only a 25 minute drive from Mount Sinai to his apartment to take over four hours. All Steve wanted to do was crawl into bed and go to sleep but he knew he needed to wash the hospital smell off of himself. No matter how nice Mount Sinai was, he still hated the stench it left on his skin. It wasn't long after he'd gotten out of the shower and finished his tea that Natasha had bid him goodnight before heading home to Pepper.

            Yawning, Steve set his mug in the sink, grabbed his laptop and charger from the living room, and headed back to his bedroom. After getting changed into his pajamas, Steve plugged in his laptop and booted it up. He pulled up Pandora and put on his Christmas station as Monty and Nyota hopped up on the bed with him. He curled around them and let himself drift off to sleep to the sound of Bing Crosby singing about a white Christmas.


	8. Of Skype Calls and Christmas Trees

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve wakes up on Christmas Eve to a couple surprises; one more welcome than the other.

      When Steve woke up the morning of the 24th, he glanced at his clock and groaned when he saw that he'd only been asleep for a few hours. As he rolled out of bed and headed to the bathroom, he wondered why his body never allowed him to sleep past seven am. After relieving his bladder and taking his morning medicine, he wandered back into his bedroom to pop his hearing aids in and put on his glasses. Heading into the kitchen, he set up his coffee pot to brew. As it gurgled mechanically, he wandered into the living room to turn on the news and blinked in surprise at the Christmas tree that was standing in front of his windows. That had definitely not been there last night when Natasha had dropped him off. Frowning, he walked over and picked up a note sitting on the table beside it. 

> _Steve,_
> 
> _When I found out you were going to be home for Christmas, I figured it would be a good idea to get you a tree. I know you haven't had one in a while but I figured this year you could really use one. And yes, it was here when I dropped you off last night. You were just too out of it to notice. Sam, Riley, Pepper, and I will be over around noon to help you decorate._
> 
> _Merry Christmas,_
> 
> _Natasha._

     Smiling and shaking his head, Steve set the note down and headed back to his bedroom to grab his laptop. Once he'd set it up on the kitchen counter and pressed the "I'm still listening" button on Pandora so it would continue to play, he poured himself a cup of coffee and started making breakfast. After taking a look in his refrigerator, he was surprised to find it fully stocked and that everything that would've gone bad while he was in the hospital had been thrown out. Smiling slightly, he made a mental note to thank his friends when he saw them later that day as he pulled out the ingredients to make a spinach, mushroom, and sausage scramble.

      He'd just finished plating his breakfast when his laptop started making a sound that signaled that he had an incoming Skype call. He figured it was Tony and Bruce since they had left for their vacation yesterday so he clicked accept without double checking the name. As the call connected he started cleaning up the mess he'd created while making his breakfast. He heard someone clear their throat and, without looking up, he said, "Gimme a second guys, I don't want the grease to congeal and make it harder to clean the pan."

      "Take all the time you need, punk." An unfamiliar voice said with a soft chuckle.

      Steve paused his scrubbing and turned to stare at his laptop. Instead of seeing Bruce and Tony like he expected, he saw Bucky smiling tiredly at him. Steve stared at his laptop in shock and felt his jaw drop. After a moment of stunned silence, he shook his head and, blinking a few times, asked, "B-Bucky?"

      Grinning brightly, Bucky leaned back against the wall behind him and said, "I got your package this morning. I haven't really looked in it yet but your note was on top so I took a chance and decided to call. Looks like I caught you at a bad time."

      "No. No, I just made myself breakfast and was going to clean up before I ate." Steve said, setting the pan in the sink and wiping his hands off on a dish towel.

      "What time is it there?" Bucky asked, frowning slightly and checking his watch.

      "Um...." Steve blinked and glanced at the wall clock before he said, "Eight-thirty am." Walking over to his laptop, he frowned slightly and asked, "What about you?"

      "Six pm. My shift ended a half hour ago but I stopped in by the mess hall to get a quick bite to eat." Bucky said, shrugging slightly.

      "Well, I'm going to move into my living room so I can eat while we talk, if that's okay?"

      "Yeah, sure. I didn't mean to interrupt your breakfast."

      "Buck, it's fine. I'm actually really glad to hear from you." Steve said, grinning as he picked up his plate and laptop. He walked carefully into the living room and set everything down before going back to get his coffee. Once he had it, he headed back into the living room and settled down on the floor between his couch and the coffee table.

      "Was that a tree I saw?" Bucky asked, grinning brightly.

      "Natasha brought it in when she realized I'd be home for Christmas." Steve said, grinning and sipping his coffee.

      "That was nice of her." Bucky said, smiling slightly as his gaze flickered between Steve's eyes and his mouth.

      "Yeah, she left a note saying that she would be by later with Pepper, Sam, and Riley to help me decorate it." Steve said, smiling slightly and looked over at the tree. He noticed that Nyota was looking up at it curiously and said, "Don't even think about it, Ny. That tree is off-limits. No climbing or scratching." If it was possible for a cat to look put out, Nyota was doing a very good job of it. She wandered over to Steve's lap and curled up, causing Steve to roll his eyes before scratching her side with his free hand.

      Bucky's soft chuckles brought his attention back to the laptop. Steve licked his lips when he saw the fond look on Bucky's face and smiled weakly in return. Bucky smiled gently and, leaning forward a little, asked, "So, you're doing better now, yeah? I mean, obviously you're home from the hospital but..."

      "Pneumonia's gone and I've got a clean bill of health. Well, as clean as it usually is." Steve said, smiling ruefully and setting down his coffee mug. Taking a bite of his food, Steve watched as Bucky's entire body relaxed and he let out a small sigh of relief. Steve raised an eyebrow at him but chose not to comment on it. He watched as Bucky resettled his laptop further away from him and pulled the box Steve had sent him up onto his bed.

      "So, like I said, I got this this morning but I haven't really had a chance to go through it and I only barely glanced at the note."

      "Long enough to pick out my Skype." Steve said, blushing lightly as he continued to eat his breakfast.

      "I saw the word Skype and read that sentence, not the entire thing." Bucky said, raising an eyebrow at Steve as if daring him to challenge him.

      Steve rolled his eyes and said, "Those are supposed to be your Christmas gifts. It's still Christmas Eve, Buck."

      Bucky groaned and said, "Steve, seriously. If you want to play semantics, it's Christmas in Australia so it counts."

      "Did that work with your parents?"

      "No, but you're not my ma so it counts." Bucky said, grinning brightly.

      "Fine, open the damn thing." Steve said, chuckling softly and leaning back against the couch as he continued to eat his breakfast.

      Bucky whooped in triumph and folded back the flaps. He blinked and muttered, "Holy shit, that is a lot of cookies. Jesus, Stevie, how many did you make?"

      "Um...Nine homemade types and a few of the Knotts Berry Farm ones."

      "There's gotta be at least dozen in each of these containers....Jesus shit, Steve. That's 108 cookies. Minimum."

      "You're supposed to share. With your squad." Steve muttered, looking down at his half-empty plate and blushing.

      "I am not sharing. Not the homemade ones. Clint and Gabe can duke it out over the store bought ones since I know they both like those."

      "Yes, you are. You are not going to eat 216 cookies by yourself. You'll end up in a sugar coma." Steve said, looking up from his plate and shooting Bucky what he hoped was a stern look.

      "No wonder the box was so big and heavy. Really? 216?"

      "Around that. I didn't actually count." Steve said, rolling his eyes and finishing off the last of his breakfast. Setting aside his plate, he heaved himself up onto the sofa and dragged his laptop into his lap.

      "Fine. I'll share. But most of them are mine."

      "Buck, you'll need to freeze them to make them keep any longer. It's already been like 20 days since I made them."

      "I've got a mini-fridge in my room that has a freezer section. I know how to play Tetris with food in that thing."

      "Okay." Steve said doubtfully, shaking his head as Bucky continued to pull the containers of cookies out and set them on his bed.

      "How much did it cost to ship this thing out? I mean seriously, this box is huge." Bucky said, now looking at the container of coffee curiously.

      "Doesn't matter, it was worth it."

      "Steve, it had to have cost a fortune to ship this." Bucky said, looking up from the box and raising an eyebrow.

      "Just keep digging. There's more."

      "I swear, you sent me a passageway to Narnia in this thing." Bucky said, grinning and pulling out the rest of the food that Steve had packed. Lifting the bag of dried fruit, he chuckled and said, "Ok, Gabe must've helped you this time. Only he would suggest dried fruit."

      "Uh, yeah. Is that not good?"

      "I'm more of a fresh or canned fruit kind of guy, actually. But don't worry, Katie'll snatch this up before Gabe can get his hands on them. Which was no doubt his plan all along." Bucky said, setting them aside. Looking back up at Steve, he cocked his head and said, "I didn't recognize the coffee brand though. Do you drink that?"

      "Tony suggested it. He promised that it'd be light years better than whatever you're drinking over there. And Bruce backed him up so I figured it'd be good. I bought myself a smaller bag but I haven't had time to actually drink any."

      Bucky hummed softly before looking down and pulling out the box of tea. He made a soft noise of surprise and said, "Huh, I haven't seen this since Clint and I went on a mission in India." His eyes widened slightly and, looking back at Steve, added, "Which I did not mention at all because that mission does not exist."

      Smirking, Steve raised an eyebrow and said, in the most sarcastic tone he could muster, "What mission? I don't know anything about any mission in a country the US isn't supposed to be in."

      "Exactly." Bucky said, grinning slightly and putting the tea aside. He looked back in the box and pulled out the bubble wrapped CD. Frowning, he turned it over in his hands and asked, "Uh, Stevie, how much bubble wrap and duct tape did you use on this thing?"

      "I didn't want it to break. It's from Darcy and Loki. Mainly Darcy." Steve said, rolling his eyes and shifting into a more comfortable position. Nyota meowed up at him before hopping back up into his lap.

      Bucky shot him a confused look before grabbing a pair of scissors from his bedside table and cutting a slit in the bubble wrap and duct tape so he could slide the CD case out. When he saw the cover art, he blinked a few times and murmured, "No fucking way. Steve....Steve this CD isn't even out yet."

      "If you had actually read my note, you'd know that it's a pre-release that's only available to the band members. Loki sacrificed his copy and had his bandmates sign it as well." Steve said, smirking slightly as he petted Nyota.

      "You little shit. Oh my god. Okay, Mets game. I'm so taking you to a Mets game. Or two. Or twenty." Bucky said, popping open the case and staring at the CD in awe.

      Steve grinned and said, "I'll have to let Darcy know she did good."

      "Very, very good." Bucky said, shutting the CD case and setting it aside gently. He glanced back at Steve before pulling the vacuum-packed quilt out with a frown. Steve watched as he carefully tore open the bag and pulled the quilt out, running his hands over the pattern.

      "Buck?"

      "Is this....Is this what I think it is?"

      "Depends on what you think it is." Steve said, smiling weakly.

      "I...Is this the quilt..." Tearing his eyes away from the quilt, Bucky looked up at Steve and asked, "Is this the quilt your mom was making you?"

      "It is."

      "Steve...Steve, I can't keep this."

      "Clint and Gabe both said you needed a new one. I wasn't using that one and I know my mom would've wanted it to get used so...I got it finished and sent it to you."

      "Steve. This is something your mom made for you-"

      "And I'm giving it to you. Look, if it makes you that uncomfortable to think of it as a gift, just think of it as a loan. You can give it back to me when you're out of the army for good. Deal?"

      Bucky eyed him cautiously before nodding and looking down at the quilt in his lap. Steve watched him run his hands over the familiar patterns before looking back up at him again and giving him a small smile. Clearing his throat, Bucky said, "Thank you, Steve. I'll make sure it gets back to you in one piece."

      "You're welcome, Buck." Steve said, smiling slightly and looking down at Nyota; who had fallen asleep in his lap.

      "I'm assuming the cat that's currently standing on your shoulder and keeps leaning towards your laptop is Monty?"

      "Yeah, sorry. He's usually a really lazy bugger but I think the tree kinda fucked with his plans so he's retaliating by being nosey."

      "His plans?"

      "Sunning himself in front of the window. That's literally all he does. Nyota's the more active one and even she can get pretty lazy." Steve said, grinning as Nyota flopped on her back in her sleep.

      Chuckling softly, Bucky shook his head and shot Steve another fond look. After a beat, he frowned and asked, "Quick question?"

      "Rapid response." Steve replied, smirking as Bucky rolled his eyes and let out an over exaggerated groan.

      Looking back at Steve, Bucky smiled slightly and asked, "Okay, smartass, is your voice normally this deep or is it a side effect of the pneumonia? Because I'm having trouble connecting what I'm seeing with what I'm hearing." He shot Steve a curious look as he started packing away the coffee, the tea, and the various containers of cookies to deal with at a later time.

      "I know that I told you that my voice dropped but my body didn't change much during puberty." Steve said, quirking an eyebrow up.

      "I know you told me. But knowing and hearing that deep of a voice come out of such a small body are two different things." Bucky said, shooting Steve a skeptical look as he set the box on the floor beside his bed and opened up the quilt to lay over his lap. Steve opened his mouth to say something when he heard a door open on Bucky's side of the call. Bucky turned his head towards the noise and said, "If you touch my cookies and I will make a eunuch out of you."

      "C'mon, Barnes, share the loot. There's no way you can eat that many cookies. I have it on good authority that Steve sent enough for all of us, and then some."

      "Knock yourself out with the Knotts Berry Farms, but if you touch the homemade ones before I get a chance to see what the hell Steve sent me, I will shoot you in the ass."

      "You're no fun." The voice said, obviously pouting. Whomever it was raised their voice a little and said, "Becca, your brother is no fun at all."

      "I'm not talking to Becca, I'm talking to Steve." Bucky said, rolling his eyes. Next thing Steve knew, another man was sprawled across Bucky's lap to see the laptop screen. Bucky was groaning in the background and muttering about knees to the groin while the man studied Steve curiously.

      "So he actually nutted up and called you." The man said, resting his chin in a desert-tanned hand and grinning brightly. Steve recognized that same grin from the photo of Bucky, Clint, and Gabe at the 4th of July pool party.

      Steve raised an eyebrow and said, "You must be Clint."

      "Got it in one. Lemme guess, Buck talks a lot about me? He mention my dashing good looks? My winning personality? The witty banter?"

      "Nah, none of that. He did mention your astounding modesty but he mainly talks about how much he wants to shoot you. Or break his foot off in your ass. It really depends on the day and how much you've annoyed him recently." Steve said, smirking slightly at the stunned look on Clint's face and the soft chuckle he heard from Bucky. Clint made an offended noise and, using his distraction to his advantage, Bucky shoved him off of his bed.

      Steve saw Bucky roll his eyes as he said, "Clint, you're worse than my niece and nephew. Seriously. I'm telling your boyfriend you're being more of a little shit than normal next time he calls you."

      "Aww, Sarge, no. Don't tell Boss, he'll get all pissy and then I won't get-"

      "I swear to God, if you finish that sentence, I really will shoot you. I have to sleep in here for the next few weeks until the new B-Huts are finished."

      "Fine, fine. I'll go hang out with Katie and Gabe for a bit. I'm coming back at ten to crash so fair warning." Clint said as Steve heard a shuffling sound and then a door opening and closing.

      Bucky groaned and dropped his head into his hands. There were a few beats of silence in which Steve almost thought Bucky had forgotten about him until Bucky looked up and said, "I sorry, Steve."

      "It's alright, Buck. You okay? It looked like he nailed you pretty hard."

      "Yeah, I'll be fine. Not the first time I've taken a knee to the groin and besides, it was more the thigh than the actual groin." Bucky said, waving it off.

      "Do I even want to know?" Steve asked, smiling slightly.

      "Eh, probably not." Bucky admitted, grinning cheekily.

      Steve rolled his eyes and said, "So what're your plans for tomorrow?"

      Bucky curled up in the corner of is bed against the wall and pulled his laptop into his lap before he answered, "I'm in the middle of tearing apart an engine on a Humvee so I'll probably finish that up. We're not on rotation for patrols and we don't have a mission so we're all kinda stuck just working on base." He leaned his head against the wall and smiled slightly as he asked, "What're your plans for the holidays?"

      "Well, I'm decorating my tree today. Natasha and Pepper'll be by later with Sam and Riley to help. They'll probably bring by presents for under the tree. And I didn't have time to get anyone anything so I'll probably just draw them something or do a painting for them. Tomorrow I'm going to head out to the cemetery to visit my parents’ graves. Don't know what I'm doing for dinner tomorrow or tonight for that matter but I'll figure something out." Steve said, shrugging and scratching Monty's head when he head-butted the side of Steve's head.

      Bucky frowned slightly and said, more to himself than to Steve, "I haven't visited Ma's grave in a while. I should probably do that when I go on leave."

      "When do you go on leave?" Steve asked, cocking his head to the side.

      "Uh. I'm not exactly sure. It's supposed to be sometime in May or June but honestly, it could change." Bucky replied, shaking his head. Smiling tiredly at Steve, he asked, "You really haven't ridden the Cyclone before?"

      Steve blushed slightly and replied, "No. I mean, I've gone to Coney Island before but I just...never rode it."

      "I'm so taking you there, then. On one of your days off, I'm taking you to Coney Island and we'll eat junk food and ride the Cyclone." Bucky said, smiling gently and shifting slightly.

      Steve raised an eyebrow and snarked, "I thought you said you were taking me to a Mets game?"

      "I've got a few months’ worth of leave, Steve. I can take you to a couple Mets games and Coney Island." Bucky replied, rolling his eyes playfully and grinning.

      Chuckling, Steve leaned his head against the couch and studied Bucky for a moment. After a beat of silence, he asked, "If you're here in July, do you want to come with me to the party Tony always throws the weekend of the 4th?"

      Blinking in surprise, Bucky opened and closed his mouth a couple times. Steve watched curiously as Bucky's Adam’s apple bob up and down when he swallowed. Frowning slightly, Bucky bit his lower lip and asked, "Would we still be in the city?"

      "Usually we head to Tony's place in Skaneateles. We'll actually be spending Friday through Monday there this year." Steve replied, sinking lower in to the couch.

      Bucky chewed on his lip and frowned as his eyes darted between the camera and the screen. After a few moments of silence, he said, "I promised Becca that if I was in town for the fourth that I'd take my niece and nephew on Friday so she and her husband can go to a company cookout for her work since it isn't very kid friendly. Depending on when you guys head up to Skaneateles, I might be able to swing it."

      "Tony was going to have us fly up Thursday night since we've all discovered that five hours in a car together is kind of horrendous." Steve said, deflating slightly.

      "Well, I can always catch a commuter flight up to Syracuse. Then just rent a car and drive down to Skaneateles. If your friends wouldn't mind me just randomly showing up." Bucky suggested, looking at Steve hopefully.

      Steve smiled slightly and said, "Tony takes any chance he can to show off so he'll be happy to have a newcomer to the lake house. I think everyone else would be pretty excited to meet you since I kinda talk about you a lot."

      "You talk about me a lot?" Bucky asked, raising an eyebrow and smirking playfully.

      "Only good things, I promise." Steve said, ducking his head to hide his blush.

      Chuckling softly, Bucky asked, "Who all's going to be there?"

      Ticking off the people on his fingers as he went, Steve said, "Tony and Bruce since it's Tony's house. Natasha and Pepper always go. So do Sam and Riley. I think Darcy's going to come this year and drag Loki along. Thor and Jane might come, it all depends on Jane's work load which she won't have a better idea of until it gets closer to July. Maria and Nick always come so they'll be there. Peggy's going to be coming and I'm assuming Gabe'll come with her if you're all on leave together. Phil kind of has to be there and I think Tony said that his mystery boyfriend'll be there as well if he's back in the states by then. And I think Phil might invite Melinda and Skye again. But I'm not sure."

      "That is a lot of people." Bucky said, blinking slowly. Frowning, he asked, "How big is Tony's house?"

      "It has ten bedrooms and over fifteen thousand square feet. Then again, if you do end up coming, you may have to either share a bed with me or crash on the couch." Steve said, blushing and looking down at his lap.

      Bucky hummed softly and, after a beat, said, "If I can make it up there, I wouldn't mind bunking with you."

      "Seriously?" Steve asked, looking back up at his computer.

      "Of course." Bucky said, smiling slightly. Winking, he said, "I warn you though, I tend to cuddle in my sleep."

      "That's...That's perfectly fine with me." Steve said, grinning as he blushed even harder.

      "How's the shop doing?" Bucky asked, changing the subject and cocking his head to the side.

      "It's doing well. I ended up hiring Peter so Darcy isn't working over 70 hours a week any more. We're also going to be bringing in some people to train once the New Year rolls around. I'm thinking that we may end up hiring some of them so we'll have more than three artists in the shop at all times."

      "How many hours do you work a week?"

      "When I'm not in the hospital? Almost 80 hours a week since I'm at the shop from open to close. Everyone else works anywhere from 40 to 60 hours a week."

      "Jesus, Steve. I don't think I even work that much when I'm not on a mission."

      Steve pouted and said, "I only work that much because I'm in the hospital a lot and I feel the need to make up for the time I spend out."

      "Steve, that can't be healthy."

      "Well, it's not like I have anything else to do."

      "Play with your cats. Visit the park. Do some more commission work for Stark. Teach an art class down at the community center. Literally anything to get you out of the shop and into the world."

      "Those last two would have me working the same amount of time, Buck."

      "Yeah but you wouldn't be holed up in your shop."

      Steve sighed and, hunching in on himself, said, "Once the newbies are trained and I've talked it over with Peggy and Nick, who are the managers in case I'm not there, I'll cut my hours. Then figure out something else to do. Probably a combination of commission work and teaching down at the center."

      Bucky chewed on his lip and said, "I just worry about you, Steve. I mean, it seems like you've got a really good group of friends but it also seems like you spend a hell of a lot of time in the shop."

      "I understand, Buck. And you're right. I do spend a lot of time at the shop. I like it, but 80 hours a week is kind of insane." Steve said, shrugging slightly and smiling gently. Leaning his head against the back of the couch, he asked, "What's your sister doing for the holidays?"

      "Oh, she and her husband are going out to his parents with the kids. I think they're spending the entire week there." Bucky said, eyeing Steve and choosing to ignore the blatant change of subject.

      "What are your niece and nephew like? You haven't told me much about them."

      "Kimberly likes gymnastics and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Last I checked, she wanted to grow up to be the president. Which is awesome and I think she'll be able to do it. She's certainly smart enough. Scott likes martial arts and Avatar: The Last Airbender. He wants to grow up to be a soldier like me. Not sure how I feel about that but I'm sure he's going to excel in whatever he does." Bucky said, smiling slightly.

      "You said they were six, right?"

      "Yeah, their birthdays are in June so I'm hoping to be there for that." Bucky said, chewing on his lip. After a beat, he added, "Last week, Kim had a gymnastics meet that Becca filmed for me. I thought she did really well because I know that I can't bend like that and will probably never be able to bend like that. Ever. Even when I'm drunk off my ass. But, because I know nothing about gymnastics, I showed it to Katie, who used to do gymnastics and archery before she enlisted, and she said that Kim's very good for her age. Scott has a martial arts competition in January that he's looking forward to having me see and I'm excited to see it since I know a little more about that."

      Steve smiled and said, "That's good. I remember going to a lot of Natasha's gymnastics and martial arts competitions back in high school, it takes a lot of discipline and dedication to do that."

      "I think they both got into them because they had a lot of energy to burn and needed help focusing. But Becca's really proud of them and they love it so I'm happy to support them however I can. I think I have photos of them up on the wall somewhere in their outfits." Bucky said, looking up at his wall.

      "Did you put all the photos I sent up?"

      "I put most of them up. Gabe nicked the ones with Peggy when he thought I wasn't looking and, when I went to put them up, I couldn't find any of the ones with Phil. No idea where they went but the others are up. The one of you with your bike is actually right here." Bucky said, shifting slightly and pointing to a spot on the wall near the head of the bed that would be about eye level if Bucky was lying down. Bucky smiled slightly and said, more to himself than to Steve, "It's the first thing I see when I wake up since I sleep facing the wall."

      "I'm the first thing you see when you wake up?" Steve asked, raising an eyebrow and blushing.

      Looking back at his laptop, Bucky shot Steve a wary look and nodded slowly. Swallowing, he asked, "Are you okay with that?"

      "I want to show you something..." Steve said, lifting Nyota out of his lap. Standing up, Steve grabbed his laptop and carried it back into his bedroom. He set his laptop down on his bed and turned it so that Bucky could see his nightstand. Reaching down, he grabbed the charger and plugged his laptop in since the battery was getting low.

      "Is that....Steve, is that the photo of me reading one of your letters?" Bucky asked as Steve sat down with his back against the headboard.

      Steve pulled his laptop into his lap and, blushing slightly, said, "Yeah. It's the first thing I see when I wake up and the last thing I see when I go to bed."

      "I...I saw the other photos. The one of what I assume is your parents and grandparents as well as the one of you, Natasha, and Sam. Why am I up there too?"

      "Because you're important to me." Steve said, looking down and blushing.

      "Hey, look at me?" Bucky asked. Steve glanced up and saw that Bucky was smiling coyly. Once he was sure that Steve was looking at him, Bucky said, "You're important to me, too, Steve. Like, really important. I know we haven't known each other long but I really can't imagine going back to not knowing you."

      "I'm really glad I signed up for that program." Steve admitted, smiling shyly.

      "I'm glad you did too. I really don't know what I would've done without you." Bucky said, leaning over and grabbing a container of cookies from the box. Steve blushed and watched as Bucky popped the lid open and grinned down at the contents. Looking back up at Steve, he asked, "How'd you know that cherry icebox cookies are my favorite?"

      "I didn't." Steve admitted, watching Bucky pull a cookie out of the container and pop it in his mouth. He chuckled as Bucky exaggerated a moan and, once Bucky was looking at him again, said, "I actually took a guess because Clint said you liked cherry and lemon flavored things."

      "If you're trying to woo me with baked goods, it's working." Bucky said, raising an eyebrow as he popped another cookie into his mouth.

      Looking down, Steve bit his lip as he grinned and blushed even harder. Clearing his throat, Steve looked up and said, "Good. That was totally my plan all along. My mom always said that the quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach."

      Bucky squinted at Steve as he finished chewing. Swallowing, he smirked playfully and asked, "Why, Mr. Rogers, are you flirting with me?"

      Steve bit his lower lip and blushed a vibrant shade of red. Cocking his head to the side, he licked his lips and said, "I think I am. Is that alright?"

      Bucky grinned and said, "Of course it's alright. And just so you know, I plan to return the favor of feeding you once I'm on leave. I'll make you ciolan afumat or my grandmother's tocaniţa. Get some meat on your bones while I can."

      Scowling, Steve crossed his arms over his stomach in embarrassment and snapped, "I'm fine, it's not like I'm emaciated or anything. Besides it's actually really hard for me to put on weight."

      Bucky sighed and, after studying Steve for a moment, said, "You're right. You're not emaciated. But you are underweight. I can't really know if the weight you're at is healthy for you since I'm not your doctor but in my experience if you can count a person's ribs then something's wrong."

      Steve rubbed his eyes and said, "Right now, I'm about ten pounds underweight. I had managed to get up to a healthy weight before I got pneumonia. While I was in the ICU, I dropped about fifteen pounds so I'm back down to 95 pounds. It's gonna take a couple months but I'll get back up to a healthy weight. Natasha'll make sure of it."

      "Alright. As long as you do it in a healthy way."

      "Don't worry, Buck. I'll be fine."

      "Yeah, yeah. Let me worry about you. It's better than worrying if I'm gonna get blown up on my next mission."

      "You better not." Steve said sharply.

      "I'll do my best, Steve, but I can't promise anything because I don't know what's going to happen in the future. I don't know if we're going to get attacked on our next mission or if something's going to happen on base. But I will do my damnedest to get back to the states...get to you...safely. Alright?"

      "Alright."

      "Besides, I wanna be able to tell you in person that you've got a nice butt." Bucky said, grinning and winking.

      Blushing, Steve chuckled and rolled his eyes. Biting his lip, Steve said, "Thanks. Your abs make me jealous."

      "My abs? How do you know I have abs?" Bucky asked, raising an eyebrow.

      Steve blushed and replied, "I have a photo of you, Clint, and Gabe from a 4th of July party at Clint's brother's place."

      "Oh my God. They didn't tell me they sent that one." Bucky groaned, covering his face with one hand.

      "You look good in it though. Why would you be embarrassed about that?"

      "I'm wearing fire-engine red booty shorts! That were like a size too small!"

      "I know exactly what you're wearing in that photo, Buck. Kinda have that image seared in my brain." Steve said, rolling his eyes.

      "Well sorry that my friends assaulted your eyes with that image." Bucky said petulantly, rolling his eyes and leaning back against the wall.

      "I didn't say that was a bad thing, Buck. I actually really like that photo. Probably as much as you like that photo of my ass." Steve said, tilting his chin up.

      "I...what?"

      "Oh sweet baby Jesus. Bucky, I think you're very attractive and I really liked that photo of you." Steve said, shooting the soldier his best _you're a freaking idiot_ look.

      "I...really?"

      "Yes." Steve replied, smiling slightly.

      Before Bucky could say anything, Steve heard his front door open and four pairs of feet walk in. A few seconds later, Sam shouted, "Steven Grant Rogers, it's eleven in the morning, your ass better be out of bed."

      "I'm up!" Steve yelled back, rolling his eyes as Natasha appeared in the doorway.

      "You're not even dressed! Or out of bed! I told you we'd be here by noon." She said, frowning.

      "I'm sorry, but since when is eleven am considered "around" noon?"

      "Okay smartass, so we're a little early. You know Pepper has a thing about being on time."

      "Don't you dare blame this on me! You're the one who was up at ass-o-clock in the morning." Pepper shouted from the direction of the living room.

      Natasha rolled her eyes and, turning back to Steve, asked, "Have you at least eaten yet?"

      "Yes, I had a spinach, mushroom, and sausage scramble. Thank you for restocking my fridge."

      "It's no problem. If you get dressed and get your scrawny ass out to the living room, I'll forgive you for not making your coconut hot chocolate."

      "I'll be right out. I just gotta wrap up this call." Steve said, motioning to his laptop.

      "Call? Did Bruce and Tony decide to Skype you instead of just sending you a text like the rest of us?" Natasha asked, crossing the room and dropping down on the bed beside Steve before he could answer. She blinked owlishly at the screen as Bucky stared at the screen with a deer in the headlights look and half a cookie hanging out of his mouth.

      Steve groaned and, dragging his hand down his face, said, "Bucky, this is Natasha. Natasha, this is Bucky."

      Bucky swallowed his half-eaten cookie with a small wince and, after clearing his throat, said, "Pleasure to meet you, ma'am. Steve speaks very highly of you."

      "He speaks very highly of you as well, Barnes. I apologize for interrupting your call. I'll let you two finish your conversation." Natasha said, standing back up and shooting Steve a knowing look when she was out of the camera's view.

      Steve sighed and said, "I'll be out in a few minutes." As Natasha turned to leave, he asked, "Can you pull out the stuff to make the coconut hot chocolate? If I put it on before we start decorating, it should be ready by the time we're done with the tree."

      "Sure thing, Steve." Natasha said, nodding to him before disappearing again.

      Sighing, Steve looked back at Bucky and shot him a sheepish look. Rubbing the back of his neck, he said, "Sorry about that, Buck. I wasn't expecting them for another hour."

      "It's alright, Stevie. I should probably get going anyway." Bucky said, smiling sadly.

      "I don't want you to go." Steve admitted quietly, frowning and casting his eyes downward.

      Bucky sighed softly and said, "I don't want to go either, Steve. I was really enjoying talking to you. But, your friends are waiting for you."

      "You're my friend too." Steve said, looking back up at Bucky.

      "I know. But they're there for you. Go enjoy your Christmas Eve." Bucky said, smiling slightly.

      "When can you call again?" Steve asked, trying not to sound too hopeful. He knew he failed miserably when Bucky shot him a pained look.

      "I really don't know. I promised Becca that I'd call her tomorrow if I was allowed and I know she's going to want to spend as much time on the phone with me as she can so I can talk to the kids. I promise you that I'll call when I can, okay?"

      "Okay. Share those cookies, alright?"

      "I will. Gabe'll tattle on me if I don't." Bucky said, chuckling softly. After a beat he added, "Thank you, again. For the quilt and for everything else."

      "You're welcome, Buck." Steve said, smiling slightly.

      "Take care of yourself, punk." Bucky said, the corner of his mouth quirking up into a smile.

      Steve chuckled and said, "I will. Stay safe, jerk."

      Smiling flirtatiously, Bucky winked and said, "I've gotta stay safe, punk. I've still gotta see you and that butt of yours in person."

      Steve blushed and, with a soft huff, said, "I hope it won't disappoint."

      "Nothing about you could disappoint me, punk." Bucky said, shooting Steve a very serious look before ending the Skype call.

      Steve sat on his bed and stared at the Skype window for a moment. As soon as Bucky's bubble went from green to blank, he set his laptop aside and quickly got dressed. When he walked into the living room, Sam and Pepper were sifting through a box of ornaments while Riley was trying to untangle the lights with the help of Monty and Nyota. Natasha looked up from her spot on the sofa and asked, "Good phone call with Barnes?"

            Steve looked over at her and, with a small smile, said, "Yeah. I'm looking forward to our next one."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter's going to be my switchup in writing style. Also, I'm headed back to Uni at the end of the month so next month fic updates may come a few weeks between each other instead of just a week.
> 
> Also, I took liberties in the mail aspect again. You technically can't ship anything over 70 pounds but the package Steve sent would've been anywhere between 75 to 90 pounds given how heavy cookies are and the rest of the stuff that Steve put in there. 
> 
> And, in case you're wondering, the package Steve sent would've cost upwards of 500 bucks to send with as much stuff that he put in it. More if he had actually broken it into two packages like he would've had to given the amount of food he sent.


	9. Of dorky flirting and worry laden days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two letters, a Skype call, and two more letters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is the setup for the next few of chapters. I know it's a little different than how I usually write but didn't want to drag this one chapter out into three separate chapters.

> _23 December 2013_
> 
> _Steve,_
> 
> _By the time you get this letter, it'll probably already be past New Year's so happy 2014! I hope you were able to ring in the new year at Tony's party and not in a hospital bed. I really hope you're okay by now. What is a Tony Stark party like anyway? I've heard stories but I think that was from before he had his heart episode._
> 
> _I completely understand not feeling comfortable sharing Natasha's story so no hard feelings. I should've figured that it would've been like you asking for Clint's story or Gabe's. Gabe wouldn't care but Clint's is just too rough for me to feel comfortable sharing it without his permission. You and Natasha really shared a room? What was that like? Becca and I didn't share a room after we hit puberty so I have no frame of reference for that one._
> 
> _Clint's getting a little less annoying about Boss. I still don't know the man's name so for now, he's just Boss; mainly because that seems less of a stupid nickname than Cheese. There's been times where I've had to threaten to tell Boss something to get Clint to stop being a little shit. Which reminds me, for as often as those two Skype, I've never even seen the man; just heard his voice. Part of me wonders if I should worry about this guy since I know for a fact that Clint used to work for the government together. The other part of me knows that Clint can take care of himself._
> 
> _I know that I don't have to make it up to you but I want to. If I'm there for baseball season, I'll take you to a few Mets games since they're the only team I actually care about. Well, I mean, if you prefer the Cyclones then I'll take you to a couple of their games. Do you have a preference between Mets and Cyclones?_
> 
> _I can't believe that you haven't ridden the Cyclone. That's a damn tragedy. I'm definitely taking you to Coney when I get back to Brooklyn. We'll do the whole tourist thing even though we actually, you know, live in Brooklyn. Oh, before I forget, Becca said that she wouldn't mind us taking the twins to the zoo or a museum or something so be prepared for that. According to my sister, Kimmy and Scott will talk your ear off about the snakes at the zoo and ask you so questions about the art in MOMA that it'll get annoying._
> 
> _That reminds me, Becca sent me a video of Kimmy at her gymnastics demonstration the other day. I thought she did amazing but I don't know much about gymnastics other than it's an olympic sport and the uniform is really tight. I showed the video to Katie and she said she was really good for her age. I trust her judgment since she has been doing gymnastics since she was younger than Kimmy. Scott's into martial arts which is something I know a bit more about. I'm looking forward to seeing one of his competitions or a demonstration when I'm on leave. Scott and Kimmy's summer tee ball season should have started up by then so I'll get to see that as well._
> 
> _I'm excited to spend time with them but I'm also mildly terrified. Talking to them on Skype is one thing, seeing them in person is another. What if I don't live up to their expectations? I mean, I get that they're only six but they've grown up believing that I'm some sort of super soldier when in reality I'm just a slightly below-average guy who enlisted right out of high school to avoid going to college. And I know that Scott's got a bit of a hero worship thing going on with me but don't want him to follow in my footsteps. He's got a lot of potential and he's a hell of a lot smarter than I was at that age. I just don't want to see him become a career soldier like me. He's so much better than that. I only became a career soldier because it was the only viable option for me._
> 
> _I mean, I could've gone to college but school was always really hard for me and I didn't want to put myself through four or five more years of it just to wind up in a job that I hated. At least in the Army, I would get to do something that I'm good at and if I'm a little slow with my paperwork because I have reading comprehension issues it wouldn't be the end of the world. My commanding officers and I have an understanding; as long as everything gets in on time, they don't care if I have to have Clint or Gabe help me out fill out paperwork and mission reports or read an instruction manual to me so I don't fuck something up on base. And now I'm going to blatantly change the subject because I'd rather not talk any more about my fucked up brain._
> 
> _What happened when Tony tried to pay you that much money for a simple illustration? I can't imagine you took that very well and I've only known you for a few months. Do you ever think about doing more illustrations for him or maybe doing a gallery? You're certainly good enough to get a showing if you wanted. I mean, you could be like Darcy and just not want to show your art in a gallery or to just keep it at the shop._
> 
> _It's getting late and I've got an early start tomorrow even though it's Christmas Eve so I better end this here. I hope you're feeling better and that you didn't have to spend Christmas and New Year's in the hospital._
> 
> _Take care of yourself, punk,  
> _ _Bucky_

* * *

 

> _January 2, 2014_
> 
> _Bucky,_
> 
> _I actually spent New Year's Eve curled up on Tony's ridiculously huge couch cuddling with Peggy and Phil since we were the only three who didn't bring dates to the party. I'm sure they would've preferred to spend it with Gabe and Hawk respectively and I know that I would've preferred to spend it with you. But, since the three of us couldn't spend New Year's with the people we wanted, we decided to just have a platonic cuddle pile. Not the first time we've done it and I'm sure it won't be the last._
> 
> _Tony's parties used to consist of a shitton of people I didn't know and a liquor store's worth of alcohol; which is why I didn't really go to them unless Natasha or Sam were going as well. After his heart episode, he mellowed out a lot and now his parties consist of our group of friends hanging out and watching the ball drop from the comfort of Tony's living room in Stark Tower. Most of the time there'll be other people there who know one of the core group. Like this year, Peter and his girlfriend Gwen were invited. Peggy's sister Sharon came with her new boyfriend; Brock something or other. I don't really remember much about him other than he was a bit of an ass. Jemma and Leo from R &D popped in for a little while before heading to another friend's party. Loki even showed up with Darcy and was surprisingly civil with Thor._
> 
> _I told them that you really appreciated the CD and Loki asked what you thought of the songs. I had to admit that I didn't know but would ask you in this letter and the next time I skyped with you. Speaking of Skype, Natasha let it slip to Tony that we'd skyped on Christmas Eve sometime during the party and he spent the next hour interrogating me until Bruce dragged him away. I mean, Tony's interrogation certainly wasn't as bad as Sam and Pepper's but that may have had more to do with the fact that I was trapped with them while decorating my tree._
> 
> _And yes, Natasha and I did share a room during high school. Most of the time, it wasn't that big of a deal. Though, if either one of us were sick, she'd sleep in my mom's room. It was never an issue since mom worked night shift and was coming home as we were leaving for school and leaving for work when we came home from school. If she was the one who was sick, she'd get up early and change the sheets and pillows so my mom didn't catch whatever she had. I think the most awkward situation we ever got into was when I walked in on her and Johnny Storm "studying." I don't think I could look her in the eye for a week after that because yeah, walking in on someone you consider your sister having sex with a guy who looks like the non-sickly version of you is kind of weird. After that, she made sure to put up a "do not disturb" sign if she needed privacy. I tended to stick to the living room when that happened._
> 
> _If Clint used to work with the guy, he can't be that bad. It's like Phil's new boyfriend; none of us know anything about him other than they used to work together at Phil's old government job. Tony's done everything short of hacking into the Pentagon's computers to find out who Hawk is but he hasn't found anything. I think I'm the only one who honestly doesn't care who the guy is. I mean, I care in the sense that I care if he makes Phil happy but I don't care what he used to do for a living or what he does now. He makes Phil happy, so it's not really any of my business. Phil probably would've told us more about him if Tony wasn't being such a little shit about it. I swear Phil stays up at night to think of ways to annoy the piss out of Tony. Melinda, Maria, and Natasha probably already know who Hawk is but have been sworn to secrecy because it's not like Phil to keep anything from those three. Hell, Melinda probably knows exactly who Hawk is since she followed Phil to Brooklyn from whatever job he used to have with the government._
> 
> _I prefer the Mets to the Cyclones but, honestly, I'd love to go to either game. A love of baseball runs in the family, actually. It started with my great-grandfather after he got off the boat at Ellis Island, but back then it was the Brooklyn Dodgers not the Mets. When the Dodgers moved to LA, my grandfather was really bitter about it but refused to support the Yankees so he was stuck without a team. When the Mets started up almost four years later, he reluctantly started rooting for them and my dad grew up loving the Mets; which kind of passed down to me since most of my memories of my dad include watching Mets games with him when he was on leave. Natasha and Sam don't really understand it even though they always go with me to one Mets game and one Cyclones game a year. Sam finds baseball boring and would rather watch football or soccer while Natasha's more of a fan of boxing and MMA._
> 
> _I'll have to start looking at kid friendly things to do in Brooklyn then since I have no idea what to do other than Coney Island and the Bronx Zoo. The most interaction I've had with kids your niece and nephew's age was volunteering at the youth center back in college for one of my freshman "Community Development" courses so this could get interesting. I think I spent most of my time teaching them to draw and painting fake tattoos on them so that they wouldn't bother the older kids who were working on homework with the other volunteer._
> 
> _Given how much Scott and Kimmy mean to you, I'd be surprised if you weren't at least a little scared to meet them. I'm sure that they're going to love you no matter what and love spending time with you because you're their uncle so my suggestion is try not to worry too much. And listen, just because you have reading comprehension issues doesn't mean that you're not still the super soldier that Scott thinks you are. So what if you have to have Clint or Gabe help you out sometimes? You're still a damn good leader and a good tactician. You wouldn't have made it to Staff Sergeant if you weren't a capable leader and you certainly wouldn't have gotten command of your own squad if you were just another below-average grunt who's not going anywhere, in or out of the military. You're smart, Buck. Don't ever think you're not just because you've got issues with reading. I certainly don't think it makes you any less intelligent and if anyone says different they can go fuck themselves._
> 
> _The last time Tony tried to overpay me, I donated all but what I was willing to accept as payment to the Ali Forney Center in his name. I mean, he'd donated to them before but nothing that huge so it actually made the news. He got a ton of phone calls and had to explain to so many people that it wasn't actually him who donated the money. It was kind of a PR clusterfuck since people thought he didn't want to support them. Thankfully, Pepper got everything straightened out before it could get too bad. He stopped trying to overpay me after that but I still sometimes find random transfers into my account every couple months. Pepper convinced me not to say anything to him about it, return the money, or donate it in his name to somewhere because, apparently, showering his friends with money is one of the only ways he knows to show he cares about us._
> 
> _I never really thought about doing a gallery. I mean, I suppose I could, with the amount of sketch work that I have but I've never really show it to anyone outside of my friends or, if it was a commission, clients. Maybe I'll start a blog like Darcy did so I can show my art that way._
> 
> _It's getting a little late and I need to be up early so I can get a consult in with Thor before I have to do my other clients. I hope you had a good Christmas and a decent New Year's._
> 
> _Stay safe, jerk,  
> _ _Steve_

* * *

      Before dawn on January 6th, Steve woke up to the sound of the Skype ringtone blasting from his laptop. Turning his head, he checked his alarm clock to see what time it was and groaned in aggravation when he saw that it had only been three hours since he'd fallen asleep. Sighing, he rolled over on to his side to hit the accept call button. Without lifting his head from his pillow and without opening his eyes, he said, "Tony, it's six-thirty in the God damn morning. On my one guaranteed day off. Bruce better be dying or your tower should be fire. If neither of those things are happening, I'm going to stab you with a fork the next time I see you."

      "Should I be offended that you keep assuming I'm Tony?" A familiar voice asked.

      Steve lifted his head and blinked blearily at his laptop. Frowning sleepily, he asked, "Bucky?"

      "Hey, Stevie." Bucky said, smiling tiredly. Worrying his bottom lip, he added, "I'm sorry about calling so early. I got everything done and, since we're going on a mission tomorrow, I wanted to call you while I could."

      Rubbing the sleep from his eyes with the palm of his hand, he said, "It's fine, Buck. Just lemme put my ears in so I don't have to strain to hear you." Rolling on to his back, Steve sat up and let his quilt pool in his lap. Stretching his arms over his head, he bent forwards to touch his toes until he heard his spine shift and pop as it realigned. Straightening back up, he reached over and grabbed his hearing aids off of his nightstand. Popping them in, he laid back on his side and hugged a pillow as he looked at Bucky.

      Grinning, Bucky leaned back against the wall and asked, "Do you always sleep with your laptop on the empty side of your bed?"

      Steve grinned sleepily and unthinkingly replied, "Only when I'm hoping to hear from you."

      Staring at Steve, Bucky blushed a deep shade of red and asked, "Been doing that often since we last spoke?"

      "Every night. Had to set my laptop up so it wouldn't go to sleep on me." Steve muttered, hugging his pillow closer to his chest.

      "That is....shit, Steve. I'm sorry I didn't call sooner." Bucky said, shooting Steve a pained look.

      Steve shrugged and said, "It's only been like two weeks, Buck. It's fine. I'm just happy to hear from you now. Even if it is ass o'clock in the morning."

      "What time did you get to sleep last night?"

      "Uuuhhhh, three am? I think. I was planning on sleeping in since I don't have anything to do today except for my B12 shot. Which I finally convinced my doctor to let me do at home so I can stop wasting her time at the clinic."

      "I'm really sorry about waking you up. I should've checked to see what time it was in Brooklyn."

      "It's okay, Buck. Really. I know it may not seem like it since I'm still half asleep and haven't had coffee yet but I'm really really happy to hear from you."

      "Yeah, punk?"

      "Yeah, jerk. I am."

      "If you say so." Bucky said, shooting Steve a skeptical look. After a moment, he asked, "How've you been?"

      "Meh. We're going to start interviewing potential apprentices tomorrow. There's a few that I think look promising. Peter gave a glowing recommendation for one of the applicants so there's that. Though, I'll have to talk to my three before I make any decisions."

      "How do you do your apprentice interviews?"

      "Well, we had a meeting and it was decided that everyone was going to get an apprentice so we put out an ad for applications and had about a thousand flood in within a week."

      "Seriously?"

      "Apparently people really want to work at Saoirse."

      "Apparently. You're not interviewing that many people are you?"

      "Hell no. I called Tony and asked to borrow his AI so we weren't sifting through applications for the next month. About ninety-five percent of them got outright rejected because they didn't fill the application out fully or they didn't have the skill set we were looking for. Out of the remaining fifty applications, twenty-five got rejected because their references didn't check out. Ten more got rejected because there were was major issues with their background check. Which was a lot deeper than I thought it was going to be but it was a JARVIS background check so I guess I shouldn't've been surprised. JARVIS divided the final fifteen into groups of three based on whom they would fit best with. I'm interviewing a guy named Miles tomorrow. Then Raven on Thursday. And finally a different Peter next Tuesday. I should know by next Thursday who I want. I've already got calls from four other shops about sending our interviewed rejects their way. I'll likely only suggest Ororo's and Gamora's shops since I trust them."

      "I've heard of Ororo but I've never heard of Gamora."

      "She's new to New York but she did some amazing work back in LA. I met her at a conference last year, actually." Steve said, rubbing his face against his pillow.

      Bucky chuckled and suggested, "Go make yourself some coffee, Steve."

      "But that requires getting out of bed."

      "Point taken. But coffee."

      "Buck, my apartment is freezing and I have hardwood floors."

      "So put a pair of socks on." Bucky said as Steve whined and buried his face in his pillow. Chuckling softly, Bucky said, "I had some of Tony's coffee and it's amazing so go make yourself some of that. I'll be here when you get back."

      "Promise?" Steve asked, only slightly muffled by the pillow he refused to lift his head from.

      "I promise. Now go get some coffee and something to eat."

      "Fine. You should probably get something to eat too." Steve said, rolling out of bed and adjusting his Henley so wasn't riding up his stomach. Looking back at his laptop, he said, "I'll be right back."

      When Bucky nodded, Steve headed out to the kitchen. It didn't take him long to make himself a cup of Tony's coffee and a bowl of yogurt with granola, raisins, dried cranberries, and a chopped up banana. Grabbing is mug and bowl, he headed back into his bedroom to find Nyota and Monty sitting in front of his laptop and staring at the screen. He frowned in confusion until he heard Bucky say, "Now that that's settled. You two have got to make sure that he stays warm at night, alright? He's a skinny guy and Brooklyn's cold this time of year. Stay close to the chest, I hear that's his most vulnerable area."

      Nyota meowed and pawed at the screen while Monty merely laid back down and continued to stare at the screen curiously. Blushing lightly, Steve bit back a smile and walked further into his room. Setting his mug and bowl down on his nightstand, he nudged Monty so he'd move out of the way and climbed back into bed. Pulling his laptop into his lap, he raised an eyebrow at Bucky and asked, "Were you just talking to my cats?"

      Turning an interesting shade of scarlet, Bucky rubbed the back of his neck and said, "We were just having a discussion. Nyota's very vocal by the way."

      Chuckling softly, Steve picked up his bowl and said, "She knows what she wants and when she wants it, that's for sure." He frowned in confusion when Bucky took a bite of his food and visibly winced. Cocking his head to the side, he asked, "What're you eating?"

      After taking a sip of water, Bucky said, "An MRE. Which is supposed to stand for Meal Ready to Eat but sometimes I wonder if it doesn't mean Meal Rarely Edible. This one's supposed to be beef ravioli but it's only made edible by copious amounts of Tabasco sauce. I didn't feel like walking to the mess so this is what I get to deal with."

      "I'm surprised you didn't just grab a thing of cookies." Steve said, raising an eyebrow and taking a bite of his breakfast.

      Bucky pouted slightly and said, "My squad stole most of them from me. I'm having to ration them so I don't run out too quickly. I think my favorites besides the cherry icebox and the chocolate ones you made last time are the chocolate espresso pinwheels."

      "I'll make you all the cookies you want when you're on leave." Steve said, chuckling softly and chowing down on his breakfast. Bucky just smiled at him and continued to eat his dinner. As they ate in a comfortable silence, Steve briefly wondered if this was normal. To feel this comfortable around someone he'd only really just met.

      Once they had both finished eating, Bucky broke the silence and asked, "Other than giving yourself a shot, what're your plans for the day?"

      Setting aside his bowl and picking up his mug, Steve said, "I'm probably going to draw a bit. It's a little warmer today but still not warm enough for me to get outside and do anything."

      "What're you gonna draw?"

      "No idea yet. I've been doing portraits recently so I don't get too rusty."

      Bucky smirked and, shifting so he was lying down on his cot with his head propped up with his hand, asked, "Will you draw me like one of your French girls, Steve?"

      Snorting into his coffee, Steve blushed and said, "That's...That's not how the line goes, Bucky." Continuing to watch Bucky, he took another sip of his coffee as he felt a familiar heat pool in his gut. He felt himself flush even more as Bucky just studied him for a moment instead of immediately replying. Steve wondered if his face or body language was giving away just how much the idea of re-enacting that scene with Bucky appealed to him.

      After another beat, Bucky smirked playfully and, with a wink, said "The sentiment still stands, Stevie."

      Clearing his throat, Steve flushed an even deeper shade of red and, setting aside his coffee, said, "Maybe when you're on leave."

      "Why? Do you prefer to have your model in front of you?" Bucky asked, dragging his pillow down to rest his head on it.

      "Actually, yes." Steve said, smiling slightly. Shrugging a shoulder, he set his now empty mug aside and added, "I just feel like there's more of a connection between the artist and the model when they're in the same place. And it'd be easier to check proportions in person than over Skype where things could get distorted by the camera angle."

      "Hmm, what's the model's job? Just sit still for a few hours?"

      "Pretty much. Not a lot of people can sit still for that long without fidgeting. The only people I know to be able to do a sitting without so much as twitching are Natasha, Nick, and Phil. Tony's surprisingly good in front of a camera though. Even if he can't sit still to save his life.

      Bucky raised an eyebrow and asked, "You've shot Tony?"

      "It was for a charity auction. I think Bruce ended up buying them. Or rather, using Tony's money to buy them and ensure no one else got to see them."

      "Do I even want to know?"

      "Probably not. I wish I didn't but I'm the one who did the shoot." Steve said, lying back down and hugging his pillow.

      Bucky opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by his door opening. Frowning, he looked past his laptop and asked, "What is it, Gabe?"

      "Clint just told me that Phillips want us to head out tonight instead of tomorrow morning. We need to be ready in an hour."

      "Are you fucking kidding me? One fucking night. That's all I wanted." Bucky growled, running a hand through his hair.

      "I'm sorry, Buck. I know how badly you wanted to talk to Steve tonight."

      "Go round up the others and we'll start the pre-mission shit. I'll be out in a few."

      "Alright. I'll see you in a bit." Gabe said before Steve heard a door open and close again.

      Shutting his eyes, Bucky cursed under his breath and hit his head against the wall behind him. Steve watched him cautiously for a few seconds before he said, "You should probably get going, Buck. Don't want to keep your commanding officer waiting."

      Bucky sighed and, looking back at Steve, said, "I know. I just thought I had a little more time to talk."

      "It's okay, Buck. You'll go on your mission, do your thing, and get back to base safely. We can talk sometime after you get back to base."

      Bucky eyed him cautiously and said, "This one's a hell of a lot more dangerous than normal, Steve. I...I may not-"

      "Yes. You will. You have to because you still owe me a Mets game." Steve said stubbornly, swallowing back his fear.

      Bucky chuckled softly and said, "Yeah. Yeah, I do." He looked at Steve fondly and added, "Take care of yourself, punk."

      "Stay safe, jerk." Steve said, watching Bucky as he leaned forward.

      Bucky's eyes darted from side to side for a moment before he said, "I'll get back to base in one piece, Steve. I still gotta model for you."

      "Like one of my French girls?" Steve asked, smirking playfully.

      Nodding, Bucky grinned and, with a wink, replied, "Wearing just my dog tags."

      Steve barked out a laugh and, blushing a bright shade of scarlet, said, "I look forward to it, Buck."

      Bucky stared at Steve for another moment before he finally said goodbye and disconnected the call. Steve set his laptop aside and held his head in his hands, fighting back the fear that Bucky wouldn't make it back to base.

* * *

 

> _15 January 2014_
> 
> _Steve,_
> 
> _Hey, I know I called Becca and made her promise to tell you that I got back safely and explain what's going on but I figured I should put it in the letter too. Our internet is out and won't be fixed until the 26th. Since I have the 27th and 28th off, I'll Skype you on the 27th. I promise that I'll call at a more decent time than six-thirty in the morning. Even if you are fucking adorable when you're grumpy and haven't had your coffee yet. You're also probably the only person I know who can rock the bedhead look._
> 
> _Not going to lie, I'm really jealous that Phil and Peggy got to cuddle with you. I know that I would've preferred to spend my New Year's Eve with you as well instead of spending it holed up with Clint and Gabe. Not that they're not awesome, I just dislike spending every holiday over here. I don't think I've been in the states for my birthday since I signed up. Oh god, I'm turning 30 this year. Shit, that means that Clint and Gabe are going to make a big deal out of it. I really hope they don't get the entire mess hall to sing Happy Birthday to me again this year._
> 
> _I listened to the CD the other day and it was awesome. I like that they've gotten away from the angry "I hate the world" sound and have gone a little more towards the pop-rock sound with happier lyrics. It was one of those rare times where I loved every single song on the album so there's that. I'm sure that sales will do well with this one since it's more universal than the last couple albums were._
> 
> _Oh sweet Jesus. Yeah, I have no idea how I would've handled walking in on Becca having sex. Especially if the guy kinda looked like me. Like, I knew that Becca was having sex back in high school since I was the one who usually went to Planned Parenthood with her and grabbed the free condoms for the two of us. But knowing and seeing are two totally different things._
> 
> _The Mets have been my team since elementary school. My parents were never really into baseball but my aunt Ida was and she took me and Becca to our first baseball game when we were around Scott and Kimmy's age. I loved it, Becca tolerated it to spend time with our aunt. Aunt Ida cheered for the Mets so I kinda went along with that. I was six, I didn't really know much about it but I loved the atmosphere of the stadium. Whenever I'm stateside, I try to get to at least one game, even if it's not a Mets game. Clint refuses to go with me, says it's more fun to watch paint dry. Gabe'll go but he prefers rugby._
> 
> _Becca says that the kids love museums, even the ones that are just filled with paintings instead of interactive stuff for kids. Painting fake tattoos on Kimmy and Scott actually sounds like a wonderful idea. Of course, it'd have to be skin safe paint but I'm sure they'd love it. If you paint on skin half as well as you tattoo, it'll be amazing. Starting a blog for your sketches is actually a really good idea. It'll showcase your talent outside of tattooing. Hell, maybe you can set up a Society6 and sell prints of your work if there's enough of a demand._
> 
> _I don't think anyone, even my own sister, has ever told me that they think I'm smart. Back in school, even my teachers said that I wasn't going to do much with my life because I wasn't smart enough to go to college. I hated reading aloud in class because I was the slow reader who stuttered a lot over words and, even though I was well liked by my peers, they tended to make fun of me for it. Not to mention that it was weird to everyone that even though I had reading issues, I loved science and learning and knew a lot of random shit about history. I mean, I know that I'm smart in other ways and that I wouldn't have gotten to where I am if I wasn't but sometimes it'd be nice to hear from someone other than myself. So, yeah, thank you for that. It really means a lot to me._
> 
> _I'm exhausted and have been up for almost 72 hours so I'm going to go crash and get some much needed sleep. I look forward to our next Skype call. Hopefully that one won't be cut short._
> 
> _Take care of yourself, punk,  
> _ _Bucky_
> 
> * * *

 

 

> _January 23, 2014_
> 
> _Buck,_
> 
> _Your sister actually stopped by the shop on the 14th to let me know that you were alright. Not gonna lie, it was a huge relief to hear that you made it back to base safely. Sometime during our half-hour talk, she suggested I give you my number so you can call me directly the next time something like this happens. My landline is 1-718-555-7418 and my cell is 1-917-555-4143. You're probably more likely to reach my cell if I'm out but, if I don't have my hearing aids in, I won't hear my cell and my landline is set up with an amplified phone from StarkTech so I'll hear it even if I'm sleeping deeply._
> 
> _Not going to lie, I would've preferred to spend New Year’s cuddling with you on Tony's couch rather than Phil and Peggy but c'est la vie. If them cuddling with me makes you jealous then I probably shouldn't mention that Peggy and I dated for a couple semesters back in college and Phil and I went on a few dates about year ago. I mean, nothing really happened between me and Phil. That was more to get Natasha off of our backs than any real attraction towards each other. Peggy and I were pretty serious though. I really saw the potential for a future with her but we decided that we worked better as friends. And I did end up hiring her, so there's that._
> 
> _I actually know when your birthday is. Which is kind of weird considering you weren't the one to tell me but your sister was telling me embarrassing Bucky stories and one happened on your birthday. Did you really punch a kid in the nose at your birthday party for kissing you then yell "I don't like you. I like Wade. He's my boyfriend." at them? Because your sister swears that's how you got your first kiss at the age of six and had Darcy and Peter laughing their asses off at her impression of six year old you._
> 
> _Oh, I asked Becca what she suggested we do with Scott and Kimmy while you're on leave and she suggested a baseball game since they haven't been to one yet. I think it's a good idea but I don't know if you'd want to share that with me. I mean, a kid's first baseball game is pretty important and some people are funny about sharing it with people who aren't family. I certainly wouldn't mind taking them to an art museum with you instead, if you'd rather we do that. I know I'd probably be able to answer any questions they asked since I used to study art history in college and still do in what little spare time I have._
> 
> _I'm sorry that your teachers had so little faith in you and that your peers made fun of you. You are going places and you are accomplishing things with your life so I guess that's the best "fuck you" that you can give them. I know a few of my old teachers are surprised that I'm actually gainfully employed and not living off of disability. You really don't have to thank me for telling the truth but I'm glad that it meant something to you. I'll tell you just how smart I think you are as often as you need me to. Alright?_
> 
> _Well, I need to crash. The apprentices start next week and we've got a staff meeting to discuss everything bright and early tomorrow morning._
> 
> _Stay safe, jerk,  
> _ _Steve_


	10. Of Skype calls and cockblocking friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky's latest Skype call takes an interesting turn...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yaaaaaaaay, new chapter's finally out. Sorry for the delay but yeah. School.
> 
> If you follow me on [tumblr](never-been-sane.tumblr.com) then you already know that this chapter turned out a bit differently than I planned. Which isn't a bad thing, I actually quite like how this turned out. But yeah, here's almost 6k of these two idiots falling for each other in spite of their cockblocking friends.

      On the morning of January 27th Steve laid stretched out on the short end of Tony's L-shaped couch with his laptop resting on the seat beside his head. He glanced up when Tony walked into the living room and said, "Thanks again for letting me crash on your couch. No one else's apartments allow pets."

      "No problem, Steve. Not your fault that a pipe burst above your place. I still don't know why you won't just take one of the guest rooms instead but hey, the couch is pretty comfy."

      "If I have to stay here for any longer than a couple of weeks, I'll move into one of the guest rooms. For now, I'm good on the couch."

      "Alright. How bad is the damage anyway?" Tony asked, leaning against the end of the couch near Steve's feet.

      "Management has to gut the majority of my apartment. Thankfully not a lot of my stuff was damaged and what was, wasn't anything really important or irreplaceable. Plus I was able to get a storage unit big enough to for all my stuff so the renovation can go a lot faster once they fix the plumbing."

      "And you're still having Happy drive you to work, yeah? Because taking your bike out on icy streets-"

      "I already promised Pepper that I'd let Happy drive me to work in the mornings so there's no need to worry about me taking a header into the road."

      "And-"

      "I know I'm welcome to the kitchen."

      "What about-"

      "I've already talked to JARVIS about what I am and am not allowed to touch and where I am and am not allowed to go. Seriously, you act as if this is the first time I've spent the night here."

      "Yeah but this is different than that. That time you were camped out in my room making sure I wasn't going to drop dead on you or our friends."

      "True." Steve said, glancing over when the Skype ringtone started playing.

      Tony frowned and, looking at Steve's laptop curiously, asked, "Who's calling you at nine-thirty in the morning?"

      Steve shot Tony a “ _don't be an ass”_ look and clicked the accept call button. Turning his attention to his laptop, he grinned as Bucky popped up on the screen and said, "Hey, Bucky. I'm glad to hear from you."

      "I didn't wake you up again, did I?" Bucky asked, eyeing Steve curiously.

      "Nope. I've been up for a while." Steve said, shooting Bucky a grin.

      "Ah, okay. That's good. You got enough sleep though, yeah?"

      "I got ten hours. It's more than I've gotten in a while." Steve said, rolling his eyes and sitting up.

      "Good." Bucky said, nodding and leaning back against the wall. He frowned slightly and said, "That's not your couch."

      "No, it's not. I'm actually at Tony's. There was....an issue at my place and Tony's is the only place that doesn't have a pet ban."

      "You're not sleeping on the couch, are you?" Bucky asked, raising an eyebrow. When Steve merely shot him a guilty look, Bucky sighed and said, "Steve, sleeping on a couch for more than a couple nights isn't good for your back. Just take one of the guest rooms, I'm sure Tony's got enough of them."

      "I tried telling him that, but he's stubborn as a mule." Tony said, walking behind Steve so he was in full view of the camera. Steve shot Tony a withering look only to have Tony smile placidly. Looking back at Steve's laptop, he continued, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Sergeant Barnes."

      "Likewise, Dr. Stark." Bucky said, straightening slightly.

      Tony raised an eyebrow and with a small smile said, "You're the only one who seems to acknowledge that I actually earned that title."

      Bucky shrugged and said, "Last I checked you had like seven doctorates; seemed like a personal slight to not acknowledge that."

      "It's an even dozen now, actually."

      "Showoff." Steve muttered. Tilting his head back, he looked up at Tony and asked, "Don't you have work to do?"

      "Nothing that can't wait a moment while I talk to the good Sergeant here."

      Before Steve could say anything, Bruce walked in and said, "Tony, Pepper just called and said that the meeting got moved up."

      "Bastards. I hate when they start playing this shit." Tony muttered, shaking his head. Looking back at Steve's laptop, he said, "Another time, Sergeant Barnes."

      "Of course, Dr. Stark." Bucky said, smiling slightly as Tony nodded and walked away. Bruce shot Steve a curious look only to be waved off. Shrugging, Bruce followed Tony out of the penthouse.

      Sighing, Steve sank down into the couch and pulled his laptop into his lap. Looking at Bucky, he said, "Sorry about that."

      "He's got a point though. You really should be sleeping in a real bed." Bucky said, raising an eyebrow.

      Steve opened his mouth to argue but, at Bucky's expectant look, merely deflated and said, "Fine, I'll move into one of the guest bedrooms tonight."

      "Good."

      Steve smiled and rolled his eyes. He glanced the room Bucky was sitting in and said, "That's not your room. Or at least it's not the room I saw you in last time."

      "The new B-huts finally got finished so I have my own room now. We moved our stuff over yesterday." Bucky said, shifting so he could show Steve the setup of his new room.

      "Cozy. I think it's about the same size as my old dorm." Steve said when Bucky turned the camera back on himself.

      "Yeah, it's small but at least I don't have to share with Clint anymore. And the walls are better insulated this time too so I can't hear Dum Dum's snoring from the other side of the building."

      "Katie still separated?"

      "Actually, we managed to get an exemption for her so she's catty-corner to me now. There's no place safer for her on this base than in this B-hut. I can't tell you how many guys she's put in Med Bay for trying to hurt her when she was separated from us."

      "Well, at least your squad's all together now." Steve said, smiling slightly.

      "Why are you at Tony's? I know you said there was a thing at your apartment but you didn't say what."

      "Water froze in the pipe and cracked it. When it unfroze, it flooded most of my apartment. Nothing important was damaged. Thankfully I forgot to put the box I keep...uh..." Steve trailed off and blushed lightly as he looked down.

      "The box you keep what in?" Bucky asked, raising an eyebrow.

      Sighing, Steve shut his eyes and said, "The letters that you write me and the letters my dad wrote my mom. My dad's letter are tied up with a piece of lace ribbon from my mom's wedding dress. I'd forgotten to put the box back under my bed after I got your last letter. If I hadn't, it would've gotten ruined."

      "Oh." Bucky said and, after a beat, Steve heard him shuffling around. Cracking an eye open, he watched Bucky shifting around something and then pulling a metal box that Steve recognized as an ammo can designed to store .50 caliber bullets. Steve opened his eyes fully and frowned in confusion as Bucky untucked his dog tags from his shirt. He watched as Bucky used a key that was connected to his dog tag to unlock the padlock on the ammo can before he popped it open. Looking up, Bucky said, "We store our valuables in spare ammo cans. Most of us modified them so that we can lock them."

      "Okay." Steve said, wondering what the hell this had to do with the fact that he'd just admitted to keeping all of Bucky's letters.

      Bucky smirked and asked, "Wanna know what I keep in here?"

      "Obviously but I get the feeling you'd tell me even if I said no." Steve replied, raising an eyebrow and smirking playfully.

      Chuckling, Bucky reached into the box and brought out a silver pocket watch. He held it up for Steve to see and said, "Dad's pocket watch. It's been passed down to the oldest Barnes boy for generations. If I die without children, it goes to Scott." When Steve nodded, Bucky set aside the watch and pulled out two photos. Holding them up so Steve could see, he said, "The one on the right is my parents on their wedding day. The one on the left is of me, my sister, and my Aunt Ida at our first Mets game in Shea Stadium."

      Steve squinted at the photo of Bucky at Shea stadium and, studying the scoreboard he could see in the background, asked, "You were at the '91 Mets-Expos game? The April 13th one?"

      "Yeah." Bucky said, glancing down at the photo in his hand. Looking back at Steve, he asked, "Why?"

      "That was supposed to be the first baseball game I saw in person." Steve said, smiling sadly and leaning back against the couch.

      "Supposed to be?"

      "Dad was going to take me when he was on leave but his leave got cancelled. Before that we'd just watched the games that were on the TV or listened to them on the radio."

      "Aunt Ida took me and Becca to the game to cheer us up about Dad not being able to come home." Bucky said, blinking and looking down.

      "By the time dad got home, the season was over. The next year he was supposed to be on leave in September so he was going to take me to a game then but..."

      "But he was killed in the accident along with my dad." Bucky said, shooting Steve a pained look.

      Steve smiled sadly and said, "My mom ended up taking me to my first game when I was ten. Wasn't the same."

      "I'm sorry, Steve."

      "Thanks, Buck. What else do you have in there?"

      Bucky eyed him for a moment before setting aside the two photos and pulling out a stack of letters. Looking back at Steve, he said, "Your letters. I keep the latest one on my person when we go on missions to read in the down time but the others go in here with the rest of my valuables."

      Smiling, Steve leaned the side of his head against the back of the couch and said, "I'm glad I'm not the only one who keeps them."

      Chuckling, Bucky put his things back into the ammo can and locked it up. After setting it back in its place, he looked back at Steve and asked, "How long are you going to be at Stark's?"

      "It's looking like it's going to be a couple weeks. They have to gut my apartment. Good news, I get to redecorate when I get back. Bad news, it takes me almost four times as long to get to work in the morning."

      "Damn. At least it's only temporary. Speaking of work, how are the apprentices doing?"

      "Miles is doing well. He's a quick learner but has a couple issues that need to be ironed out. Eli, America, Billy, and Teddy seem to be doing well also but I don't know for sure since I don't work with them directly. I haven't had any complaints though so that's a good thing."

      "Your apprenticeship process doesn't work like other shops, does it?"

      "No. Other places typically get paid to teach someone and then send them out on their own. Since we need more people in the shop so the main crew isn't working 60 to 80 hour weeks, we decided to just hire people to teach and then give them a job with full benefits after a year if they're up to standard. If that makes any sense."

      "I don't know much about tattooing but it makes sense to me." Bucky said, shrugging.

      "Do you have any others than the one you got at Saoirse?"

      "Nope. All I've got is the Howling Commandos tattoo. I want to get others but I'm not exactly sure what I want yet." Bucky said, shrugging. Smiling slightly, he asked, "Do you want to see it?"

      "Sure." Steve said, smiling slightly. He watched as Bucky picked up his laptop and moved it off of his lap. For a few moments, the only thing showing up on his view screen of the call was Bucky's lower half. Steve blushed slightly when he realized that the only thing Bucky was wearing besides his tee shirt was a pair of boxers that he had sent.  He watched as Bucky shifted slightly then pulled off his shirt and tossed it aside. Steve heard himself make a strangled noise at the same time that Bucky's door suddenly opened.

      Bucky yelped and said, "Have you never heard of knocking, Katie?"

      "Of course I have. I just need you to settle a dispute between me and Falsworth."

      "Can it wait? I'm kind of in the middle of something."

      "In the middle of what?" Steve heard a man, presumably Falsworth, ask.

      "Oh for fucks sake. What do you two need me to settle?"

      "Okay, since you're basically a fucking movie savant, what was that famous _Cool Hand Luke_ quote? The one that everyone misquotes."

      "Depends. In the movie, Strother Martin says ‘ _What we've got here is failure to communicate,’_ after hitting Luke and causing him to fall down in the ditch thing. Right before Luke gets shot in the end, Paul Newmann says ‘ _What we got here is a failure to communicate_.’ Either way, it's not ‘ _What we have here is a failure to communicate_.’ Which is what most people say it is."

      "HA! I was right, pay up, Jeeves."

      "Great, now that that's settled, will you two yahoos leave?"

      "Really, Sarge. Yahoos?"

      "Like you haven't read _Gulliver's Travels_ , Falsworth. Seriously, guys, out."

      "Why? What are you doing on your laptop that's so top secret?"

      "Damnit, Katie." Bucky said before the screen blurred and suddenly Steve was looking at a pretty brown haired woman with her hair tied back in a bun and could see that Falsworth was blocking the Bucky's door further down the hall.

      Steve blinked and said, "Um. Hi."

      "God damn it, Katie. Give me my laptop back." Bucky shouted.

      "Oh my god, you're Steve!" Katie exclaimed, grinning brightly.

      "Yes and I'd really appreciate it if you gave Bucky his laptop back so we can continue our conversation."

      Katie quirked an eyebrow and asked, "Is that what they're calling it these days?"

      Blushing lightly, Steve scowled and said, "Yes, that's what we're calling it. Now can you please hand the laptop back to Bucky before I decide to just hang up and wait until he calls me back."

      "Aww, don't be like that, Stevie-"

      "Don't. Call. Me. That." Steve snapped, glaring at her. Logically, he knew Katie wouldn't know that he absolutely hated being called Stevie by anyone other than Bucky. And that he only tolerated it from his friends because he'd known them for so long. Having a virtual stranger call him something he tried to reserve solely for Bucky was making him angrier than he thought it would. It didn't help anything that he could still hear Bucky arguing with Falsworth in the background. Usually he tried to keep a cool head and just go with the flow but he didn't get to actually see Bucky all that much so the fact that Falsworth and Katie were keeping them separate was pissing him off.

      Blinking a couple times, Katie stared at him in shock before the laptop was taken from her hands by someone out of the camera's view. When it was flipped around, Steve saw Gabe in the forefront of the view screen, his mouth in a tight line. Clint was in the background standing next to Katie with an unamused expression. As Gabe moved down the hall, he barely heard Clint say, "Damnit, Katie, you know better than to interrupt Sarge's Skype calls. He doesn't get to do them as often as we do."

      Gabe cleared his throat and said, "Sorry about that, Steve. We'll make sure the others don't bother you and Buck again." After Steve nodded, he looked down the hall and barked, "Falsworth, get back to your room before I make you do up-downs until you drop dead." There was a shuffling sound and then Gabe was handing over Bucky's laptop to him.

      All Steve could see was a very hairy chest but he heard Bucky ask, "Can you and Clint deal with those two? I'm not in the mood to be forgiving and, if I have to deal out punishment, I'll kill them."

      "Don't worry about it, Buck. Clint's dealing with Katie now and I'll go ream out Falsworth. You've got about three hours until lights out so go enjoy your time with your boy." Gabe said.

      Steve heard Bucky grunt before there was movement and the sound of a door closing. There was more movement and then Bucky set his laptop back down on his bed and dropped down on his stomach in front of it. Steve raised an eyebrow and said, "Well, that was interesting."

      Running a hand over his face, Bucky shut his eyes and snorted softly. Cracking an eye open, he looked at Steve and said, "I'm sorry."

      "Don't be. Now, where's that tattoo?" Steve asked, resituating himself on the couch so that he was lying on his side and was curled up in the corner of the sofa.

      Smiling slightly, Bucky tilted the screen back on his laptop before rolling over and sitting up. He looked over his shoulder and maneuvered his laptop until Steve could see the crossed bolt action rifles and the fancy script on his right shoulder blade. After letting Steve study it for a moment, he turned back around and laid down on his stomach again. Resting his head on his arms, he said, "The top part just says Howling Commandos, and the bottom is our squad's motto. We were going to use our battalion's but it didn't feel right."

      "What is your battalion's motto?"

      "Pro patria et gloria. For country and glory. None of us really connected with that so we created our own unofficial slogan."

      "What did you guys decide on?"

      "Let us carry the burdens."

      "Why that?"

      "Because we do some pretty fucked up shit to keep people safe." Bucky said, sighing softly and rubbing his eyes. After a minute, he looked up and continued, "I'm what's referred to as an anti-personnel sniper, Steve."

      "What does that mean?" Steve asked, frowning in confusion.

      "Pretty much what it sounds like." Bucky said, dropping his head into his arms. After a beat, he tilted his head to the side so Steve could hear him clearly but couldn't see his face and clarified, "It means I kill people for a living. But not like a regular infantry soldier. I get sent on missions with the express purpose of taking out a target. I don't have a say in who the targets are and I don't get much more information other than a name, a photo, and location."

      "Oh." Steve said, blinking slowly. He didn't know how Bucky was expecting him to respond but he really wished that the other man would lift up his head and look at him. After a beat, he asked, "Bucky? Can you look at me?"

      "I'd rather not at the moment."

      "Buck, come on. Please?"

      "I'd rather not see the look on your face right now, Steve."

      "Damn it. You better listen and listen well, James Buchanan Barnes, since you're being a stubborn ass and _won't just fucking look at me_." Steve said, glaring at the screen of his laptop. He saw Bucky's shoulders tighten slightly and continued, "I don't think of you any differently now than I did at the beginning of this call. News flash, I had an idea of what you did before now but you just confirmed it. I'm not stupid, I know what snipers do and I know what happens on spec ops. Movies do wonders at portraying that kind of thing. And guess what? I still think you're an amazing man that I'm lucky to know. I still care about you and I still want to be your friend. I just wish you'd just pick up your head so I can see your face. Mainly because I don't get see it often enough but also so you can see that I'm not lying."

      Bucky lifted up his head and peeked at Steve shyly, which caused Steve to smile gently at him. Bucky cleared his throat and, looking down again, said, "You're taking this better than Becca did."

      "I'm not your sister, Bucky. I care about you just as much as she does but I didn't grow up with you. I've only known you as you are now, she knew you growing up. It was probably really hard for her to reconcile the image of her big brother who used to protect her on the playground being able to shoot and kill someone."

      "It really doesn't change what you think about me?" Bucky asked, looking up at Steve hopefully.

      Steve smiled gently and said, "Bucky, you told me you were a sniper. I've seen enough action movies and read enough spy novels to know what that means. You just confirmed what I've known all along."

      "Oh, and what's that?"

      "That you're my badass super-secret assassin."

      "Well, three out of four ain't bad."

      "What do you mean?"

      "I am a badass. My work is super-secret. And I am yours" Bucky said, smiling slightly and watching Steve carefully.

      Biting his lip and looking down, Steve tried to hide the blush that was spreading across his cheeks and the goofy grin that he knew he was sporting. He tried to remind himself to not get too hopeful. Just because Bucky had said that he was his but he couldn't stop the giddy feeling blossoming in his chest at the thought that Bucky meant it the way Steve hoped he did. Glancing up, Steve smiled slightly and said, "I feel like there's a 'but' at the end of that sentence."

      Bucky chuckled softly and said, "But I'm a sniper, Stevie, not an assassin."

      Cocking his head, Steve raised an eyebrow and asked, "What's the difference?"

      "Well, first of all, I don't wear an all-leather get up like assassins do. Second, I don't take out political targets, I take out terrorist leaders. Which, yeah, not much of a distinction from where most of the US stands but there is a difference."

      "Yeah, you lost me at leather get up. I got distracted by picturing that in my head." Steve said, grinning sheepishly and blushing.

      Bucky chuckled and said, "You're such a fucking dork, Steve."

      "But I'm your dork." Steve said, grinning playfully even though inside he was having a slight panic attack. He hadn’t meant for that to slip out. Bucky had just said that he was his but this was different. This was admitting that he wanted, in some way, to be Bucky’s.

      "Yeah. Yeah, you are." Bucky said, smiling gently. Rolling on to his side, he propped his head up with his hand and, after readjusting his laptop, asked, "What are you doing on Valentine’s day?"

      "Doing shop stuff from eight to ten, ten to eleven is my lunch, clients from eleven-thirty to six, dinner break until seven, finishing up clients from seven to nine, then cleanup of the shop. Why?"

      "I was thinking of Skyping you sometime during the day if you had a chance."

      "Well. Depending on when you get off, we can Skype during my lunch. I'll be eating at Thor's since it's closest to the shop but I have the password to the Wi-Fi there."

      "That'd be around nineteen-thirty here so I'll be off work and we won't have another mission for a while anyway."

      "Great, it's a date then." Steve said, smiling slightly.

      "It's a date." Bucky agreed, grinning brightly. Turning his head to the side, he covered his mouth to hide his yawn.

      "You should probably get some sleep Buck."

      "But I've still got like two hours until lights out."

      "And you look like you're about to fall asleep."

      "I don't want to hang up if I don't have to. This is the first Skype call we've had that hasn't gotten cut short."

      "It almost was. I nearly hung up when Katie had control of your laptop."

      Bucky winced and said, "I'm sorry about that. She's not usually like that."

      "I know she was just playing around and wanted to get to know me but I...kind of lost my temper with her." Steve said, rubbing the back of his head.

      "What do you mean?"

      "I mean she called me Stevie and I actually almost growled at her."

      "Seriously? That's...kind of out of character for you."

      Steve sighed and, rubbing his eye, said, "I hate being called Stevie because the kids that used to bully me would call me that. It just...it brings up a lot of shit that I'd rather not think about."

      "Oh shit, Steve. Why didn't you tell me? I would've stopped if I'd known that you didn't like it or that it brought up shit like that."

      "It's different with you. You're...you're the only person I actually like calling me Stevie. I mean, I tolerate it from Darcy and Sam because they're my friends and know that I don't really like it so they don't do it that often. But I don't like strangers calling me that."

      "Wait, you like me calling you Stevie? Really?"

      "Yes, I like you calling me Stevie. Hearing you say it actually makes me like that nickname." Steve said, rolling his eyes and smiling slightly.

      "Aww, Stevie." Bucky said, giggling slightly.

      "Dork." Steve said, shaking his head with a full-blow grin.

      "You should smile like that more often."

      "Buck, I smile all the time." Steve said, raising an eyebrow.

      "Well, then you should get someone to get photographic proof of that for me since I only really see you do half-smiles and very rarely get to see a full-blown one."

      "Why would you want that?"

      "Because you've got a gorgeous smile that lights up your face and it makes me smile whenever I see it."

      "Bucky..." Steve started, feeling the blood rushing to his face. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, trying to figure out what he could possibly say to that. After a few seconds, he cleared his throat and said, "I don't know how much help I'd be because I usually hate any photo taken of myself. But if you friend Darcy and Natasha on Facebook then you can ask them and I can guarantee that they'll be ecstatic to help you find photos like that."

      "Want me to friend you too?" Bucky asked, reaching out and tapping on the touchpad of his laptop.

      "I'd like that. You could see some more of my artwork that I have up." Steve said, opening up his internet browser and pulling up Facebook. Bucky hummed softly and, after a minute, Steve saw a friend request pop up. Grinning, he clicked accept and made a mental note to go explore Bucky's profile later.

      "So, what're your plans for the day?" Bucky asked, leaning back against the wall.

      "Darcy's kidnapping me to take me shopping for new clothes. I think she's going to try to con me into being a model again." Steve said, scrunching his nose and making a face.

      Bucky snorted and said, "It can't be that bad, Stevie."

      "I hate being in front of the camera by myself."

      "What about if you had someone with you? Like Sam or Natasha?"

      "Natasha would probably just scowl the entire time since she doesn't like having her picture taken either. Sam would be okay to work with. Might get awkward if Darcy wants me to strip down to my boxers again."

      "I swear those things were not boxers."

      "They are. Just...they're actually kid's boxers."

      "What? Seriously?"

      "I sometimes have to shop in the kids department because nothing ever fits in the men’s. I've gotten a few shirts in the women's department because their sizes go smaller." Steve admitted, rubbing the back of his neck.

      "Like, t-shirts?"

      "T-shirts, jeans, pajama bottoms, tank tops. I had to learn how to sew pockets into jeans because women's jeans have none. Or if they do have them, they're insanely tiny ones."

      "Ah. Okay. Because when you said you had to shop in the women's department, I just got the mental image of you in a dress. Like, there's nothing wrong with that. It just...threw me since I've only seen you in pants."

      "I mean, I've worn dresses and skirts before. For Halloween costumes or to cosplay a character with my friends but I don't wear them regularly."

      "Huh. Okay." Bucky said, shifting slightly.

      Steve raised an eyebrow and asked, "What's the weirdest costume you've ever worn?"

      Bucky frowned slightly and, playing with his dog tags, started chewing on his bottom lip. After a few beats of silence, he said, "I'd have to say the time I dressed as Dr. Frank n furter for Halloween a few years back. We'd decided to go with a Rocky Horror theme and I was the only guy who could actually walk in heels the same height as the ones that Tim Curry wore in the film."

      "Wait, the corset outfit or the lab outfit?"

      "The corset outfit. I'm sure there's photos floating around on Facebook." Bucky said, waving a hand as Steve continued to just stare at him. It felt like his brain had short-circuited when presented with the mental image of Bucky dressed like Dr. Frank n furter. Truth be told, he was having a little bit of trouble forming a coherent train of thought outside of _oh god, he must've looked so hot_ and _I have to find those photos_. Steve had never really considered himself particularly kinky, but he knew that he had a bit of a weak spot for men in panties and thigh high stockings ever since he'd seen the movie version of _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_ with Natasha and Sam. He watched dumbly as Bucky frowned and cocked his head to the side. After another minute of silence, Bucky asked, "Steve? You okay over there?"

      "I...guh." Steve choked on his words. Shaking his head, he blushed and wiped at his mouth.

      "Stevie? What's wrong?"

      "I...you....fucking hell." Steve murmured, dropping his head into his arms.

      "You just pictured me in Frank n furter's outfit, didn't you?" Bucky asked, chuckling softly.

      Steve groaned softly and, lifting his head, said, "I'm sorry."

      "Don't be. I'm just trying to figure out if that was a good reaction or not."

      "It was a good reaction, Buck. A very good reaction."

      "Oh really?" Bucky asked, smirking playfully and raising an eyebrow.

      Steve shrugged and, looking down, said, "I've got a thing for hot men in panties and thigh highs."

      "Well, I can model some things for you while I'm on leave if you'd like. I'm pretty sure that I've got some stuff like that in storage." Bucky suggested, biting his lip.

      "I'd...I'd really like that. A lot." Steve said, blushing and smiling shyly.

      "I'm sorry to interrupt your conversation, Mr. Rogers, but Miss Lewis is here to see you and will be arriving in the living room in approximately two minutes." JARVIS said, derailing Steve's thought process of trying to think of a good comeback.

      Sighing, Bucky said, "I guess that's my cue to leave."

      "But, Buck-"

      "It's alright, Steve. Go spend time with your friend." Bucky said, smiling ruefully.

      "Darcy can wait a little while. I don't get much time with you and I see her like every day."

      "Steve, we'll spend plenty of time together when I'm on leave. Right now you need to go get dressed so you can hang out with Darcy. And get some rockin’ new clothes to model for me."

      "But-"

      "Steve, I promise, when I'm on leave, I'll spend as much time with you as I can. So much that you'll probably get sick of me."

      "But what if..." Steve trialed off, not wanting to voice what he feared most in case it somehow made it come true.

      "Stevie...Steve, I swear, I'm going to spend the next five months doing my damnedest to stay safe so I can see you. I'm not going to drop dead on you."

      "Yeah but you could get shot. Or blown up. Or something equally as fatal."

      "And you could get hit by a bus or a car while walking down the street. Or your heart could go out. Or you could catch a case of pneumonia that's just too much for your body to handle. Life is dangerous, Stevie. I can't let the fear of not being able to make it home safely stop me from doing my job. Too much rides on me being able to do my job without hesitation. My family's safety...your safety rides on it."

      "I just...I just want to spend as much time with you as I can, Buck."

      "I know. But you made a promise to Darcy and you've got to fulfill that promise."

      "Fine. Fine, I'll go get dressed." Steve said, sighing softly. Rubbing his eye, he said, "But I'm not going to stop thinking about you for the rest of the day."

      "And I'm not going to stop thinking about you, Stevie." Bucky admitted with a smile.

      Steve blushed lightly and asked, "You'll Skype me on the 14th?"

      "As long as nothing comes up, it's a date. If not, I guess I'll have to call Becca to play owl again."

      "The letter I just sent you has my landline and my cell in it so you can just call me."

      "Okay. If I can't Skype you, I'll still call."

      "Alright. I guess I'll talk to you later then."

      "Take care of yourself, punk."

      "Will do. Stay safe, jerk." Steve said, smiling slightly. Bucky opened his mouth to say something more but, after a brief hesitation, closed his mouth and shot Steve a thousand watt smile before ending the Skype call. Steve stared at the ended call screen and heard Darcy walk into the living room.

      "Hey, I just got a friend request from a James Barnes, is that your not-boyfriend?" Darcy asked, flopping down on the sofa next to Steve's feet.

      "I don't think we can call him my not-boyfriend anymore." Steve said, looking over at her.

      "Why?"

      "We have a Skype date for Valentine’s Day. And I think it's an actual date."

      "Ah. Well is this your maybe-boyfriend?" Darcy asked, holding up her phone.

      Steve glanced at the profile picture and said, "Yeah, that's Bucky."

      "Sweet. I can do recon now and figure out what I need to dress you in when he comes home." Darcy said, hitting the accept button. Glancing over at Steve, she said, "And you need to go get dressed so we can hit the boutiques."

            Nodding, Steve shut his laptop and stood up. After grabbing some clothes out of his bag at the end of the sofa, he headed to the bathroom to change and shut the door behind himself. As he pulled off his shirt, he wondered what Bucky stopped himself from saying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters 11-14 will be set up like Chapter 9 was. Well, they will be as long as my muses cooperate. The little shits. Here's what I'm hoping will happen for the next few chapters:
> 
> Chapter 11: February letters/Valentine's Day call  
> Chapter 12: March letters/Bucky's Birthday call  
> Chapter 13: April letters/a Skype call on a random day  
> Chapter 14: May letters/a Skype call near the end of the month that'll be the last contact they have until Bucky goes on leave.


	11. Of Valentines and (sort of) love letters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I guess Valentine's Day really is the day for confessing shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, after about three weeks, I have an update for y'all. School's been crazy but I'll try to get a chapter out a month until Christmas and then I can start writing a bit more. Anyway, thanks for being so patient y'all.

> _31 January 2014_
> 
> _Steve,_
> 
> _I think Katie is still pissed off at me for letting Clint chew her out on Monday but at this point I don't really care. I know that she was just playing but it wasn't professional and it wasn't the way a soldier should act. Or a friend for that matter. Falsworth came over yesterday to apologize for his part and promised me that it wouldn't happen again. Katie's just been glaring at me whenever we're in the same room. It's getting a little old but I'll sit her down and talk to her about it before our patrol tomorrow. I can't have her being anger with me affecting her work. Too much rides on all of us working as a well-oiled machine._
> 
> _I wish I could talk to you more often, you ground me in a way that Clint and Gabe just can't. And besides, hearing your voice only once every couple weeks is so not enough. The rest of the squad can Skype or call someone on the sat phone at least twice a week when we're on base but I'm stuck with whenever I have free time. Which isn't as often as the others since I'm usually stuck in meetings and trainings when we're not on missions or patrol. When I called her on Tuesday, Becca asked me why I hadn't called in a while and I had to admit that I was using my Skype time to call you instead of her and the kids. I thought she was going to be mad but she just cooed and said I was being adorable._
> 
> _Speaking of my sister, what else did she tell you? Because there are a few stories that I know she is dying to share and it will make me to have to go into hiding if she actually shares them with you. But yes, that's how I got my first kiss. What about you? Any embarrassing little Steve stories you'd like to share? Or should I just ask Natasha? On second thought, let's not ask Natasha. She's already given me the shovel talk and I'd rather not upset any semblance of a truce we have going on. By the way, is it normal for Darcy to grill the newbies to your friend group on their sex lives over Facebook messages? Because if not then you may want to ask her why she keeps doing that with me. It's starting to get awkward because her boyfriend is kind of my idol and I'd rather not have him get jealous and start to dislike me because of that._
> 
> _I'd love to take the kids to their first baseball game with you, Steve. I mean, I want to go to one with you just ourselves first but I wouldn't mind sharing that with you. Actually, I insist on sharing that with you. I know other people might be touchy about that kind of thing but you're important to me and the kids know that. We can still take Scott and Kimmy to an art museum as well. I know you'd be able to tell them more about the paintings than I ever could. I may know a lot about history but art history was never my forte._
> 
> _My peers were assholes. I don't really know how I made it through high school without decking anyone. At least I'm out and going somewhere with my life. Last I checked, I was the only one of my old friend group who made it out of the neighborhood. And, to be completely honest, I may need to have you tell me that you think I'm smart in person a few times when I'm on leave. Because, you know, I don't hear it that often and hearing it from you makes me actually want to believe it._
> 
> _I've got to get some sleep, we've got patrol duty in the morning and I've got a pissed off sniper to deal with. I'll Skype or call you on Valentine's Day. ~~I'm really looking forward to hearing your voice again.~~_
> 
> _Take care of yourself, punk,  
> _ _Bucky_
> 
> * * *
> 
> _February 8, 2014_
> 
> _Buck,_
> 
> _I hope everything's okay between you and Katie. And that you guys got back from your patrol safe and sound without any incidents. To be honest, I can't really watch the news anymore because I'm afraid that I'm going to turn on the TV one day and you'll be on the local news because you got captured or blown up or something. I know that it's a little irrational since you obviously know how to take care of yourself and your base is relatively safe but there's been some stories on the news that've just really spooked me and your sister._
> 
> _And yeah, I've been hanging out with your sister in my free time. It was a little weird at first but we found some common ground; mainly just her telling me stories about you as a kid and showing off your baby photos. I know that Natasha has some stories and photos that she's dying to share with you so I suggest you get over your fear of talking to her and just ask. As for Darcy, yeah, she does that with everyone in our group. You get used to it. Loki doesn't really care, he knows that Darcy loves him and wouldn't cheat on him so you're safe. The only people who really piss him off are the ones who don't respect her space or don't stop flirting with her when she tells them to stop. And, since you asked, my first kiss didn't happen until I was 15 and it fucking sucked._
> 
> _I was at a house party with Natasha; Sam wasn't there because he was sick. We weren't going to go without him but he wanted the two of us to go anyway since it was a popular kid's party and he said we needed to be the rebellious teens for him since he was stuck in bed. Anyway, I was sitting on the couch with Natasha and we were drinking some fruity concoction that was pretty strong from what I remember. Natasha had just gotten up to go refill our drinks when a senior girl that I didn't know fell into the seat beside me and started talking to me. My mother didn't raise a rude child so I talked with her even though she kept glancing behind me towards her friends. I was in the middle of asking her why she was talking to me when she suddenly kissed me._
> 
> _I didn't know what the hell was going on and it was over so fast that I didn't really have a chance to catch up before she was standing up and heading back to her friends. I turned towards them and saw one of them say "I can't believe you actually kissed that wacko cripple" before handing the girl who'd kissed me twenty bucks. They were all laughing and congratulating the girl on having the balls to kiss the weirdo art kid who kept getting into fights. I mean, it wasn't news to me that the people in my school thought there was something wrong with me mentally and anyone who'd spent a week with me knew that there were some minor physical issues due to my scoliosis and my fallen arches but it still hurt. I remember telling Natasha that I was catching the bus home before leaving because it felt like everyone was laughing at me. I don't think I went to another party hosted by a stranger after that._
> 
> _Anyway, away from depressing subjects. If you're sure you want to share that with me, I'd be honored to go with you and the kids. And to go a game with you where it's just the two of us. It'll be nice going with someone who actually cares about the game as much as I do. Maybe I'll spring for better seats than the nosebleeds since you'd actually appreciate being able to see the game whereas Natasha and Sam just go to hang out with me. As for the art exhibits, I'm sure that whatever history stuff you remember can tie in to what I remember from art history._
> 
> _I'll tell you that as often as you need me to, Buck. Because it's true and I want you to believe it. I wish we could talk more often than we do too. But I know you're busy and I know that it's not always possible to call or Skype so I'll take what I can get. Peggy suggested that I record a video or a song for you so you can listen to my voice whenever you want even if you can't call me. Apparently that's what she did for Gabe. I'm not much of a singer but I can record a video or something for you. If you want. It might make things a bit easier. Like on days when you need grounding and your squad just isn't cutting it or days where you're missing me a lot or something._
> 
> _I've got to get going because I need to finish up a design for a client before I crash for the night. I know this letter probably won't get to you before you we talk but I want you to know that I really am looking forward to hearing your voice again. ~~I'm also really excited to actually get to see you in person in a few months.~~_
> 
> _Stay safe, jerk,  
> _ _Steve_

* * *

      Steve sighed softly as he crawled back into the bed in the guest room of Tony's penthouse. Not only had a hellacious blizzard hit the night before Valentine's Day but renovations to his apartment were also taking longer than he had anticipated. After getting Monty and Nyota situated, he opened up his laptop and booted it up. He silently thanked whatever deities were listening that Tony's tower ran off of its own power grid and had the most reliable Wi-Fi service known to man. After pulling up his internet browser and logging on to Facebook, he scrolled through his feed and smiled slightly when he saw that Bucky had finally gotten around to accepting Sam and Riley's friend requests. Now the only people he wasn't friends with were Phil and Thor; but neither of them used Facebook that much so it wasn't too surprising.

      He blinked in surprise when he saw the photo of Bucky in Dr. Frank n furter's costume show up on his newsfeed. Frowning, he scanned the comments and found that most of his friends had liked it and that Darcy had even commented on it. Before he could read the comment, his Skype notification popped up and let him know that Bucky was online. Grinning, he clicked over and requested a video chat. While he waited for it to connect, he adjusted himself so Bucky could actually see him.

      Once Skype had connected, Bucky's face appeared on the screen and Steve grinned brightly at him. Bucky smiled and said, "Hey, Stevie. I thought you weren't going to be on until later?"

      "Snowstorm, had to shut down the shop and reschedule appointments. And I'm stuck at Tony's for longer than I wanted to be. But at least it's self-sufficient and has awesome Wi-Fi." Steve responded, shrugging a shoulder.

      "Well, I'm glad that I get to see you." Bucky said, grinning tiredly and sifting so that he was lying down on his cot. Propping his head up, he quirked a brow and asked, "Is that my sweater?"

      Blushing, Steve rubbed the back of his neck and said, "Your sister gave it to me because I kept complaining about being cold all the time and not being able to find a good sweater anymore. It's really warm and comfy even if it is a few sizes too big."

      "That's because my grandmother made it. She was the best at making sweaters that could keep you warm even when it was like forty below outside. I'm just surprised she actually went to my storage unit to get it."

      "Wait, this was in your storage unit? She told me she just had it lying around the house." Steve said, frowning slightly.

      Shrugging, Bucky said, "I mailed her my extra key for the unit and told her she could look through it if she wanted. She just had to let me know what she took out of it so I didn't freak out when I got back to the states. I didn't think anything of it when she said she'd pulled out some old sweaters for Ezra since we're about the same size."

      "Oh." Steve said, looking down and fiddling with the sleeves as they fell over his hands. Chewing on his lip, he glanced up at Bucky and asked, "Are you okay with me having it?"

      "Of course, Stevie. I...I actually really like seeing you in it."

      "Yeah?" Steve asked, smiling slightly and propping his head up with his arm.

      "Yeah. How often do you wear it?"

      "Um. A lot. Becca gave it to me last week and I've pretty much worn it every night to sleep in because Tony keeps the tower pretty cold." Steve said, scratching behind Nyota's ear when she head-butted his hand.

      "That...That is insanely adorable." Bucky said, chuckling softly.

      "I'm not adorable, I'm manly as hell." Steve said, scowling slightly to hide his smile.

      "So manly. In my sweater and cuddling with your cats. I may pass out at the sheer amount of manliness you possess." Bucky said, smirking playfully.

      Steve chuckled softly and said, "Jerk."

      "Yeah, but I'm your jerk." Bucky shot back, grinning cheekily.

      Steve smiled and looked down to hide his blush as he said, "Yeah. Yeah, you are."

      "I...I'm kinda glad you had the day off. I know that it sucks to have to close the shop because that's revenue lost but it also means we get to spend more time together."

      "Honestly, I'm glad we had to close the shop too." Steve admitted, looking up at Bucky and smiling. Rubbing the back of his neck, he added, "The more I thought about it, the more I realized that just an hour with you didn't seem like enough. Not when I want to spend pretty much any free time I have with you."

      "I know the feeling. Just wait, we'll get to June when I'm on leave and we'll spend so much time together you'll get sick of me." Bucky joked, grinning slightly.

      "I'd never get sick of you, Buck." Steve said, raising an eyebrow and frowning.

      "Yeah, just wait until I get there and you see how much of a pain in the ass I am in person."

      "I'm not the easiest person to get along with either but-"

      "You? Not easy to get along with?" Bucky asked skeptically.

      Steve sighed and said, "Buck, I get moody and cranky when I'm having a bad pain day. I can go quiet for extremely long stretches of time for seemingly no reason. I don't really have the longest fuse when it comes to my temper. And I do still get into a lot of fights even if I'm usually with friends now. And-"

      "Steve, I get it."

      "I don't think you do, Buck. You've got this one version of me that's there in the letters, where I can think out what I'm going to say and reply in my own time instead of possibly saying something that could hurt you. Yeah, we Skype, but it's not that often. Which, I'm totally not blaming you for. I know you're busy and I know you don't have as much time as the rest of your squad. I cherish every phone call we have but it's still nothing like being in person with someone. What I'm trying to say is that I can be a major asshole sometimes."

      "I'm sure you can be, Steve. All of us have the ability to be assholes to people, even the people that we love. But, occasional asshole or not, I do want to spend as much time with you as possible when I'm stateside. And it is quite possible that you're going to get sick of me. Maybe not to the point where you never want to see me again but there will be times where you're going to need your own space. It happens, Stevie."

      "But you're not stateside for very long."

      "And I don't want you to force yourself to hang out with me just because I'm not going to be there for a longtime. Especially if you need your space." Bucky said, sighing softly. He looked at Steve for a moment and continued, "Truthfully, I'd love nothing more than to spend every moment I'm stateside with you but I know that's not possible. I do have to hang out with my sister and her kids. And, besides, if I did that, we'd eventually run out of things to do and that wouldn't be any fun for either of us."

      "We could watch movies and cuddle if that happens. There's no way we could run out of movies." Steve suggested, looking down to hide his blush.

      "I'd....I'd really like that. The cuddling part mostly."

      "So would I."

      "More than with Peggy and Phil?"

      "Christ, yes. Way more than with Peggy and Phil." Steve said, looking up at Bucky.

      Bucky grinned and said, "I'm not the squishiest pillow but I've been told I'm pretty comfy."    

      "I'm bony as fuck. All sharp angles and hard pointy bits." Steve said, frowning.

      Bucky snorted and, shaking his head, murmured, almost too softly for the mic to pick up, "I'm sure I'll love all your sharp angles and hard pointy bits just as much as I love the rest of you."

      Steve stared at him and blinked owlishly. He wasn't sure he'd heard Bucky correctly but he was fairly certain that the other man had just admitted, in a slightly roundabout way, that he loved Steve. For a moment, Steve's thought processes skidded to a halt as he simply stared at his computer screen. In the span of a few blinks, his mind shifted into overdrive as he tried to sort out how he felt about that probably accidental confession before the silence became too awkward. After a few seconds of internal struggle, he cleared his throat and, trying to give Bucky an out in case he didn't want to admit it just yet, asked, "Sorry, Skype was being weird and I didn't catch that last bit. Could you repeat it?"

      Bucky blushed and said, in a normal tone, "I said I don't think I'll mind your hard pointy bits, Stevie." Smirking playfully, he winked and added, "I might even like certain ones."

      Blushing, Steve groaned and buried his head in his arms. After a moment, he looked up and said, "If that's your attempt at flirting, I'm sorely unimpressed after our last few conversations."

      "Well, you opened the door to that one, Stevie."

      "Yeah. Yeah, I did." Steve said, smiling a little and rubbing his ear.

      Bucky cocked his head to the side and asked, "Did you go up a gauge on your ears? Or just get new plugs?"

      "Hmm? Oh, I'm wearing plugs from a potential new supplier. Everyone in the shop gets a few things we might like to sell in the shop and gives them a test run to see if they're good quality and if customer's comment on them. The plugs I have in right now are the one inch carved lapis lazuli. I liked them because they have wrens carved into the face. They seem to be holding up just fine."

      "Mmm, they look good on you. Bring out your eyes. Not sure if I like the septum ring you're wearing right now. It's way too plain compared to what I usually see you with. Though that could just be because the video feed is pretty grainy."

      "Eh, I'm not too fond of this one either but I needed to do an extended clean on all of the ones that had gemstones after my two day cold last week so I'm stuck with a plain silver ring for now. I wish I had my nicer eyebrow-bars with me. I don't think I've worn this much plain silver in since I started getting piercings."

      "Do you have any others besides those?"

      "I've also got a venom piercing and I had my belly button pierced for a long time but I let it close up. I'm thinking about getting a nipple pierced or putting more in my ears. If I decide to do my ears, I'll get either an industrial or a couple more lobe piercings. Or maybe I'll get some dermals, I don't know. Why?"

      "Just curious." Bucky said, smiling slightly. Resting his head on his arm, he said, "I'm thinking about getting another tattoo while I'm on leave. If I decide to get one, I'd like you to do it because I really do like your style."

      Steve frowned and, looking down at the bedspread, chewed on his lower lip. He'd love to have the chance to put ink to Bucky's skin but he wasn't sure if he trusted himself not to fuck up, even after years of experience. The image of Bucky in his swimsuit flashed through his mind for a brief moment and he felt his breath catch at the thought of being able to permanently mark the bare expanse of that desert tanned skin. He'd never really understood why some people loved getting their partner's named tattooed on their bodies as a way of branding themselves as their partners nor why his ex-boyfriends had enjoyed leaving hickies on his neck. That is, he hadn't understood it until now. Now, just the idea of marking Bucky, either with his tattoo gun or with his mouth, was making him hard. Groaning softly, he buried his head in his arm and muttered, "Fuck."

      Bucky sighed and quietly said, "You don't have to if you don't want to. It was just a stupid idea I got last night."

      Steve picked his head up and, looking at his laptop, said, "It's not stupid and I do want to. I just..."

      "You just what?" Bucky asked, raising an eyebrow and frowning.

      Sighing, Steve replied, "I just don't want to fuck it up."

      Bucky rolled his eyes and said, "Steve, you're not going to fuck it up. You're too talented for that. Hell, you've tattooed famous people and politicians' kids for fucks sake. It's not like I'm anybody important so-"

      Scowling, Steve cut him off, "Don't you dare say that. You are important."

      Bucky snorted and asked, "Yeah, to who? Outside of Becca, the twins, and my squad."

      "Me. You're important to me." Steve said, frowning and rolling on his stomach. He propped himself up on his elbows and adjusted the laptop before he continued, "The only two people who come before you on my list of important people are Natasha and Sam. And the way I think things are headed, one day you'll probably be even more important to me than those two. So yeah. Don't ever try to tell me that you're not important because you are."

      Blushing, Bucky looked down and muttered petulantly, "Still doesn't explain why you groaned when I suggested it."

      Shutting his eyes, Steve ran a hand over his face and groaned in annoyance. Opening his eyes, he looked at the ceiling and muttered, "For fucks' sake, Buck." Turning his attention back to his laptop, he looked directly into the webcam and said, "I groaned because the very thought of permanently marking you like that gave me a fucking boner, okay. Not because I thought it was a bad idea or because I don't want to do it. I just got really turned on and was embarrassed about it. Because, you know, it's been a while since I've had a person who can do that to me."

      "Oh. . ." Bucky said, trailing off and just staring at Steve.

      "Yeah. Oh."

      "I didn't think you....thought of me like that. I mean, I know we've flirted some but...I didn't really realize..."

      "That I'm kind of, maybe a little bit, in love with you?" Steve suggested, raising an eyebrow. Bucky merely nodded and looked down at his lap. Steve sighed softly and said, "It's okay, Buck. I didn't want to tell you until I'd seen you in person first but...I dunno. I guess Valentine's Day really is the day for confessing shit."

      Bucky chuckled and, looking up with a small smile, asked, "Would you be my Valentine, Steve?"

      "Of course. Will you be mine?"

      "I've been yours for a while now but yes. I'll be your Valentine specifically." Bucky said, smirking playfully.

      Steve chuckled and shook his head. Shooting Bucky a fond look, he said, "I can't wait to see you so I can wipe that smirk off your face." Before Bucky could respond, there was a knock on Steve's door. Frowning, Steve looked over at the door and called, "Come in."

      Bruce stuck his head in and said, "I'm sorry to interrupt but you turned JARVIS off in your room and we didn't have any way to let you know that lunch is ready. Tony wanted to be the one to tell you but I convinced him to let me since the last time he just barged in here it was... well.... awkward. For everyone."

      "Ah, thanks, Bruce. I'll be out in a minute. Just gotta wrap up my call with Bucky."

      "Oh, I didn't know that you were Skyping with your soldier. I can just tell the others that you'll eat later-"

      "If you do that, Natasha'll freak out and think I'm not eating again. I promise that I'll be out. I just need to say goodbye."

      "Okay. I'll let them know." Bruce said, backing out and shutting the door.

      Steve sighed and looked over at Bucky with an apologetic look. With a resigned sigh, Bucky said, "You know, I'm really hating how our calls keep getting cut short."

      "I don't like it either."

      "I'm going to call you on my birthday and pray that the Skype gods are going to let us have that conversation in peace."

      "Your birthday's on a Monday and I have the next day off so we can talk as long as you want. I'll make sure my friends know not to disturb me that day unless someone's dying."

      "You better get going. Don't want Natasha worrying about you." Bucky said, not unkindly.

      Steve groaned and said, "I don't want to go. Not yet."

      "I know, Stevie, but you need to get to your friends."

      "Fuck it, they can wait. I don't get to see you that often and they always interrupt and-"

      "Steve. Please. This is hard enough as it is." Bucky said, sighing softly and rubbing his eyes.

      "But I want to be with you." Steve muttered, looking down at the keyboard and scowling. He hated that his friends kept interrupting his time with Bucky. Especially when they all knew he was supposed to be talking to him today. He'd been talking about this call for the past week for fucks sake!

      "I want nothing more than to talk to you until we both fall asleep but I've got patrol in the morning and you've got friends to interact with." Bucky said, derailing Steve's train of thought.

      "I see them every day and I only see you like once a month! It's not fair that the one time I get to call you early, I have to go be social with people that I see every fucking day when all I want is to stay in bed and talk to you. For fucks sake, Buck, I'm wearing your sweater because it's the only way I can be anywhere close to you."

      "Steve, if I could justify keeping you all to myself today I would, but-"

      "No. No buts. Bruce and Tony'll be sickeningly cute in their own way and Natasha and Pepper'll be affectionate and it'll only remind me how much _I want you here with me but can't fucking have you right now_."

      "You do have me, though. Maybe not physically, but I am there with you. In our letters and in that sweater you're wearing. I'm with you just as much as you're with me every time I look at your photo." Bucky said, smiling slightly. Running a hand through his hair, he continued, "I know it's not much and I wish I could give you more but it's all I can give right now."

      "I know, Buck. And I love wearing your sweater. And re-reading our letters when I'm missing you. I just...I'm tired of being interrupted and cockblocked by my friends." Steve said, sighing softly.

      Bucky shot him a sympathetic look and said, "I know, Stevie. And I hope that you know that I think about you constantly. The thought of seeing you has been the only thing getting me through these last few weeks. And it's the main thing that's keeping me from stagnating and losing sight of what's important. Which is getting my ass back to Brooklyn. I know you want to keep talking to me right now but you have people waiting for you."

      "Fucking social obligations." Steve muttered, running a hand through his hair and sighing.

      "Go, Stevie. I'll call you on my birthday."

      "I'll tell them that they can't interrupt us then unless someone's dying. We can talk so long that we both fall asleep together."

      "I'd like that." Bucky said, smiling slightly.

      Steve glanced up when his door opened again and Natasha shot him an expectant look. Sighing, he looked at Bucky and said, "I've got to go. Bye, jerk."

      "Later, punk." Bucky said, shooting him a smile before ending the call. Steve stared at his screen for a moment before he pushed himself up off the bed. Natasha opened her mouth to say something but Steve just pushed past her and said, "Not now, Natasha."

 

> * * *
> 
> _17 February 2014_
> 
> _Steve,_
> 
> _Katie and I are fine now. We worked out our shit. I actually did know that you and Becca have been hanging out. But, I didn't know that neither of you really watch the news anymore. I have it set up so that if anything happens to me, Becca gets a phone call. I would've added you to that list as well but we're not allowed to add people who aren't next of kin. I did make Becca promise to call you if something happens to me. I'm not trying to be an ass but you and Becca do need to be aware of the fact that it is a possibility for me to get hurt or even killed with the type of work I do. Obviously I'm going to try to stay safe and get back to you in one piece but sometimes shit happens. I can't ask you not to worry about me because that's unrealistic. But I do ask that you don't allow it to change how you go about your day. I don't want you living in fear because of me._
> 
> _I haven't had the chance to talk to Natasha but Darcy likes sharing embarrassing Steve stories without much prompting. Along with photos that I'm sure you never wanted me to see in the first place. I'm kind of loving the dorky middle-school Steve photos that I'm getting over Facebook. You were so cute back then. I don't want to sound like a sap or a dork or whatever but you're still fucking gorgeous. Seems to me like you've always been gorgeous. Especially back when you were rocking the James Dean haircut. Not that I don't adore the undercut and floppy top thing you've got going on now but I've always had a thing for James Dean so I sort of love that cut on you._
> 
> _Also, that was a super shitty thing of them to do to you and I kind of hope karma bit them in the ass later. It doesn't matter that you have some health issues, you're amazing and they were too idiotic to see that. I kind of wish we'd known each other back in high school. Even if you were the moody kid who always picked fights and I was the goody-goody jock, I think we would've gotten along. I know I wouldn’t’ve let those girls treat you like that. No one deserves that kind of bullshit. ~~Maybe I can make our first kiss special enough that you'll forget about that shitty first kiss in high school.~~_
> 
> _I'm going to take you to all the games I can and we're going to have so much fun. It's going to be awesome. Though, there's no way I'm letting you pay for our seats. Not when I've got a shit ton of money in the bank because I tended to stay on base or with Clint during leave instead of going anywhere and spending my money. And five years of hazard pay racks up pretty quickly. And I know you're going to try to argue that you've got enough of your own money to buy tickets but I want to spoil you while I can._
> 
> _I think a video would be nice for the days that it gets too hard and I haven't talked to you in a while. You can just e-mail it to me at jbbarnes84@gmail.com or just post it on my Facebook wall. I can do the same thing for you, if you want. Becca told me that she dropped a couple more of my sweaters off with you yesterday so at least you won't be wearing the same sweater everyday anymore. Not that you didn't look pretty damn good in it but I know that sweaters tend to wear out depending on how many days in a row you wear them._
> 
> _~~I'm not going to lie, seeing you in my sweater brought something out in me. I don't know why but it just felt really good that you were wearing something that was mine. I can't explain it very well but I think it was like the marking thing with you. I never really understood why so many people loved seeing someone in their clothes until I saw you in my sweater. I hope that's not weird?~~_
> 
> _I've got to get going because we've got patrol duty in the morning and I need sleep. I'll talk to you on my birthday._
> 
> _Xoxo, punk,_
> 
> _Bucky_
> 
> * * *
> 
> _February 25, 2014_
> 
> _Buck,_
> 
> _I'm glad that you and Katie worked your shit out. Neither of you needed that distraction in the field. I know it's a possibility that you're going to get hurt, which is why I'm scared. It hasn't really changed my life other than the fact that I read the newspaper or look online instead of watching the news. It's silly, I know, but it makes me feel a little less terrified for you._
> 
> _The fact that you think I was even a little bit cute back then is mindboggling. I still don't know what you see in me or how you can find me even remotely attractive. I'm just a skinny dude with a lot of health problems. You on the other hand look like you hopped straight out of my book about Greek and Roman statues. Like you were carved out of marble or something. I'll take the fact that you liked the James Dean haircut under advisement since I'm trying to figure out if I want to grow my hair back out or keep it the way it is._
> 
> _I think we would've gotten along back in high school too. Maybe. If I wasn't being too much of a little shit that day or if Natasha and Sam could've knocked some sense into me. And yeah, it was a shitty thing to do but I was used to it. Not a lot of people want to date someone they could accidentally injure just by hugging them. ~~I'm also mildly terrified that when you get here you're going to see just how skinny I am and just how easily I bruise and then run for the hills. I know it's not likely but I've been conditioned to think like that. And I'm sure that even if our first kiss is awkward and terrible, it'll be the best first kiss I've ever had because yeah. It'll be you that's kissing me.~~_
> 
> _I would argue with you about paying for the baseball tickets but Becca said that I should just let you pay for them since you haven't had a chance to spoil someone since high school. I'm not good at accepting gifts or help because I don't want to seem like I can't take care of myself or that I'm a burden but as long as you don't try to pay for absolutely everything we do, I won't argue with you about the tickets. At least let me help you with the tickets for Scott and Kimmy since you insist on letting me tag along on your family bonding experience._
> 
> _I have no idea what to do for a video so I'm going to spend a bit brainstorming with your sister, Natasha, Pepper, and Darcy this weekend at Darcy's sleepover. I'd call it girl's night but Riley and Bruce are usually there as well but they're busy this week. Anyway, once I figure it out and get it filmed, I'll e-mail it to you on your birthday so you'll have that along with our Skype call. You don't have to do a video for me but I'd appreciate one if you decided to send one. I think you have my e-mail but if you don't it's steven.g.rogers@gmail.com._
> 
> _Yeah, your sister did drop off some more sweaters. She said they still smell like you but I don't know what you smell like so I'll have to take her word on that one. And I do wear them a lot. Darcy's taken to calling me Mr. Rogers a lot more and Peggy teases me when I wear them at the shop because they're so big on me. I can't wear them while working on a client but during down-time I usually pull it on. I'm sure Darcy'll take plenty of photos of me wearing them so she can show you and you two can coo over them like I'm a puppy or something. And the clothes thing isn't weird. Or, at least, no more weird than me and the marking thing. I talked it over with Sam and decided that if you really want me to give you a tattoo while you're on leave I will. We'll have to do a consult and figure out exactly what it is you want before I put a needle to your skin but I'll do it if it's what you really want._
> 
> _I've got to get going. I'm back in my apartment and everything's back to normal but I still have a couple more boxes to unpack tonight before I get some sleep. I don't know if this'll get to you before your birthday but I want you to know that I let everyone know that they are not to disturb me on the 10th or the 11th unless one of our friends is dead, dying, or in a coma. Hopefully, they'll stick to their collective word and not bug me so we can have some time together._
> 
> _Stay safe, jerk,  
> _ _Steve <3_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When the words are struck through, I imagine that they're not like scribbled out on the paper but only have two or three lines through them to make them mostly illegible but not really if you try hard enough to read it. And the little <3 looks like an actual cartoon heart
> 
> Any questions just drop by [my tumblr](never-been-sane.tumblr.com) and shoot me an ask.


	12. Of Birthdays and Skype Calls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve groaned and said, "Please don't tease me like that."  
> "Is it teasing if that's exactly what I plan to do?" Bucky asked, raising an eyebrow.  
> "Bucky." Steve said, shooting him a warning look.  
> "Alright, alright, I'll behave." Bucky said, chuckling softly.  
> "You better." Steve muttered, picking up a pencil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, I'd like to apologize for the lateness of this update. There was an issue with my laptop that set me back a couple weeks (I dumped a bowl of cereal on it by accident and lost everything). But I like how this chapter turned out, even if it wasn't the direction it was originally headed in. It's another all Skype chapter because I didn't want to give y'all a 14k chapter. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope this 7k+ chapter makes up for the month-long wait for it.

        Yawning, Steve set aside his glasses and rubbed his eyes. He glanced down at his sketchpad and flipped it shut. There was no way that he was going to finish Bruce's new tattoo design today, not after he'd been up since two am. Damn him and his attempt to get on Bucky's schedule for the day. Then again, it's not like anyone would blame him for wanting to fall asleep with Bucky even if it was over Skype.

        Glancing at his laptop, he smiled slightly at the photo of Bucky that served as his wallpaper. Becca had sent it to him a few weeks ago in an e-mail along with a note that said: _Connie got him to do a photo-shoot for her one time when he was on leave, this one was the best one. Even if he does kinda look like a drunk rock star hanging out in a random bathtub. Thought you might enjoy it._

        Shaking his head, Steve packed up his pencils, cleared off the table, and shifted into a more comfortable position on the floor. He had just lifted his mug to his lips when his laptop started playing the Skype ringtone. Putting his glasses back on and glancing over, he grinned when he saw Bucky was calling him and tapped the "accept call with video" button. Taking a sip of his 6th coffee of the day, he watched as the video feed connected and waved when Bucky showed up on screen.

        "Hey, handsome." Bucky said, grinning brightly.

        Steve blushed and said, "Hey, birthday boy. How was your day?"

        "It was boring. Mostly."

        "Mostly?"

        "Clint got everyone in the mess to sing happy birthday to me again." Bucky said, settling down on his cot.

        "And that is why I'm glad my birthday is on the fourth of July. Most people completely forget about it." Steve said, shaking his head. He drained the rest of his coffee and set the mug aside.

Turning back to Bucky, he asked, "Other than the singing, did you have a good day?"

        "It was okay. Talking to you is definitely the high point." Bucky replied, winking.

        Looking down, Steve grinned sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. Biting his lip, he looked up and said, "I aim to please."

        "I'm sure you do, Stevie." Bucky said, chuckling softly. He smiled gently at Steve and his eyes softened. Resting his head on his hand, he said, "I wish I was there with you."

        "Oh yeah? What would you do if you were here?" Steve asked, shoot Bucky a playful smile.

        Bucky laughed and said, "Oh, not much. I'd probably just be stretched out on your couch with my arms wrapped around you."

        Steve leaned back against the couch and said, "I'd say the bed's more comfortable than the couch. You sure you wouldn't rather be there?"

        "I didn't want to be too presumptuous." Bucky said, raising an eyebrow.

        Humming softly, Steve rested his head against the seat of the couch and shut his eyes. Quirking a brow, he said, "You're always welcome in my bed, Bucky."

        "I'll keep that in mind for when I'm stateside." Bucky said softly.

        "Good. Because I plan to keep you there for as long as possible."

        "Oh really?"

        "Yes really."

        "How do you plan to do that?"

        Steve hummed softly for a moment before he said, "Cuddling, making out, blow jobs. The usual stuff people do to keep their boyfriends in bed."

        "Boyfriends?"

        Steve lifted his head up and looked at Bucky sheepishly. Shrugging a shoulder, he said, "I kinda assumed after last time...I mean, it's okay if you don't-"

        "I do. I just...didn't think...I didn't think you did. I do want to though. Be your boyfriend that is." Bucky said, shooting Steve a wide grin as a blush rose in his cheeks.

        Steve looked down and, picking off a piece of lint from his pajama bottoms, said, "It's been awhile since I had a boyfriend. Or been someone's boyfriend. So...I'm sorry if I'm a little rusty."

        "Steve, it's fine. Besides, it's not like I'll have anything to compare it to since you'll be my first actual boyfriend."

        "I thought-"

        "I've never had a relationship with a guy. It was mostly just hooking up." Bucky admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. Chuckling, he added, "I mean, there was Wade back in elementary school but that doesn't really count."

        "Oh." Steve said, blinking owlishly.

        "That's not going to be a problem, is it?"

        "No. I just didn't realize I was your first boyfriend." Steve said, shrugging a shoulder.

        "All that means is that there's no pressure, punk, because I have like zero expectations." Bucky said, grinning playfully.

        Steve groaned softly and said, "I hate when someone says they have zero expectation because that's never actually true and I always manage to fuck up."

        "So, you're saying you need like...guidelines or something? For what I'm expecting in a relationship?"

        "It'd be nice." Steve muttered petulantly.

        "Steve, the only thing I expect from you is for you to be yourself, for you to treat me like your equal, and for you to be honest with me. That's it. I'm pretty sure that you can't fuck that up. I mean, if you somehow manage to do so, then we'll talk about it, sort it out, and get back on track."

        Steve shot Bucky a confused frown. He was used to the people that he dated demanding monogamy within the first couple hours; which he was perfectly fine with since polyamoury wasn't really his thing anyway. He wondered if the fact that Bucky wasn't stating that he wanted to be exclusive outright meant that he wanted an open relationship. Chewing on his lip, he quickly weighed the options between not asking and asking for clarification. Deciding that it was better to possibly offend his boyfriend rather than be left wondering what the hell was going on with their relationship, Steve asked, "You don't expect monogamy?"

        Bucky shrugged and said, "I'd like us to be monogamous but I'm also realistic. I mean, you didn't mention being polyamorous but I also didn't want to assume anything. And I know that I'm half a world away right now and you've probably got needs that I can't help you with-"

        "Oh, you help plenty with that, even if you don't know it." Steve snarked, rolling his eyes.

        "What?" Bucky asked, blinking owlishly.

        Steve sighed and, looking up at the ceiling to try to hide how red he was turning, replied, "Peggy likes to send me old shirtless photos of you that she gets from Gabe. Not to mention the fact that I have a very active imagination." Rolling his head to the side, he looked at Bucky and stated, quite matter-of-factly, "I don't think my right hand has gotten this much use since I first developed a libido in high school."

        Bucky chuckled and said, "I see. So you think about me when you..."

        "Yeah, I do. Do you?"

        "That'd be a bit narcissistic, don't you think?" Bucky asked, grinning playfully.

        Steve huffed and, smiling gently, said, "You know what I meant, Buck."

        "I know. And to answer your question...yes, I do. I probably don't get the chance to as often as you do but I do think about you when I do."

        Biting back a smile, Steve wrapped his arms around his legs and hid his face in his knees. After reigning in his grin, he rested his chin on his knees and asked, "Since when?"

        "Consciously? After Valentine's day."

        "And unconsciously?"

        "Ever since I saw that photo of you leaning against your bike. I didn't really want to admit anything because I figured if I ignored it, I could at least still be your friend and not make anything awkward. What about you?"

       "Same thing as you. You started showing up a lot after I realized I had feelings for you back in...November? Jesus Christ, I didn't think it'd been that long. But yeah, I didn't say anything because I didn't want to make things weird and I didn't really let myself delve too far into it so that I could keep my sanity intact. After Valentine's day, it was kind of like the floodgates opened."

        "Well, I'm glad we got that worked out. Pining kind of sucks."

        "Now it's on to the _Damn it, I just want him beside me_ stage." Steve said, sighing softly.

        "Yeah. But think of it this way, our first meeting is going to be that much better because neither of us will have to stop ourselves from kissing the other." Bucky said, waggling his eyebrows. Steve dropped his head to his chest and tried to stifle his laughter. After a moment, he lifted his head again and grinned brightly at Bucky; not even trying to hide the I'm so fucking in love with you look on his face. Bucky shot him a bemused smile and said, "Getting back to what we were talking about before. I would like for us to be exclusive. If that's alright with you."

        "I actually prefer it that way since I don't share very well when it comes to the people I date." Steve said, shrugging a shoulder.

        Bucky chuckled and said, "Neither do I so I'm glad we got that cleared up."

        Steve rested his chin on his knees again and asked, "Do you know when you're coming in?"

        "Not the exact day but it's been narrowed down to a two week time frame. Which I'm not allowed to tell you over Skype." Bucky replied, shooting Steve an apologetic look.

        "That's fine. I just wanted an idea of when to expect you to be here. Where are you staying?"

        Bucky shifted uncomfortably and, looking down, said, "The plan was to stay with Becca so they didn't have to hire a nanny for the summer. I mean, the kids'll be in school until the 26th of June and their day camp officially starts on the 30th but there's the in between time that's iffy. Not to mention the fact that the camp doesn't start until half an hour after both Ezra and Becca have to be at work and the early drop off doesn't allow time for either of them to get to the office on time. And the camp ends at 4:15 which is almost an hour before either of them usually gets out of work. And yeah."

        Steve blinked and said, not unkindly, "You know, you didn't have to justify staying with your sister to me. I totally get it. Family comes first."

        "But I'd also like to stay with you. I'm trying to figure out how I can spend as much time with both you and my family as possible."

        "Well, I'm usually at the shop from ten to ten unless it's my day off."

        "Which means I could probably crash at your place and get up early to get over to my sister's to pick up the kids. If that's alright with you."

        "Seriously, Buck? Is there any universe where I'd have a problem with getting to have you in my bed basically every night for almost three months? Because if you know of this universe, I'd like to go there and kick that Steve's ass for being an idiot."

        Bucky laughed and said, "Okay. I get it. I'll tell Becca that I'm going to be crashing at your place. I'll probably eat dinner with them since you'll be working most of the time."

        "As long as I get to curl up next to you at night and fall asleep, I'm fine with whatever."

        "Good to know. What have you been up to today?"

        "Drawing. Drinking coffee. I've been up since 2."

        "Jesus, Steve, why were you up so early?"

        "To get on your schedule..." Steve muttered, looking away and blushing lightly.

        "You were serious about falling asleep together on Skype, weren't you?" Bucky asked with a small playful smile. Steve glanced at him and nodded silently. Bucky's smile widened as he leaned forward to get closer to his laptop and he said, "No one told me you were a romantic, punk. I mean…the video should've been a hint but damn."

        Steve's blush deepened as he shrugged a shoulder and said, "I grew up on stories of my mom being wooed by my dad when they were young and hearing about how my grandparents fell in love. And I learned that it's...it's the little things that matter most. Grand gestures are awesome but the little things build up and remind you how much the person loves you. I can't do most of what I normally would because you're half a world away but I can do this."

        "You also did the video." Bucky said, his smile shifting from a playful one to a gentler, more adoring one.

        Steve huffed and said, "Buck, that's not anything special-"

        Cutting him off, Bucky scowled and snapped, "Steven Grant Rogers."

        Steve stared at Bucky in shock. No one but his mother had called him by his full name and even then it was only when he had really fucked something up. There wasn't anything in that last sentence that could've pissed Bucky off. At least, he didn't think there was. Steve fiddled with the mug in his hands and said, "Buck?"

        Dropping his hand, Bucky looked back up at Steve with a sheepish smile and said, "Sorry for snapping but...Steve, darlin', you sang two songs for me. Two! Even though you admitted in the beginning of the video that you're not really all that comfortable singing because you...you feel like your hearing loss fucks up your pitches and how you play the guitar. If that doesn't fall within your definition of 'special,' I'd love to know what does because to me that was pretty damn special."

        Steve set his mug on the coffee table and said, "I didn't really think of it like that. I mean I didn't see the video as something special because it wasn't me going out of my way to do something for you. It wasn't even really all that great, in my opinion. I literally just set up a camera in my bedroom, sat on my bed, and acted like a dork."

        "But you did it for me when you didn't have to. You did something that you usually dislike doing because you thought that I would like it."

        "Did you? Like the video that is."

        "I loved it. Did my sister suggest those songs?"

        "No, she just said that you had a weak spot for older music when you were in high school. I kind of ran with it and picked songs that I thought you would like and..." Steve trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck. Looking down, he flushed a vibrant shade of red and murmured, "And that I thought kinda summed up how I felt."

        "Christ, Stevie."

        "It's okay if you don't...you know, feel that way too. I mean, we did just start dating so it's a little weird to say that kind of stuff this early. I'm not trying to like pressure you or anything because it's fine if you don't feel the same-"

        "Steve. Steve, darlin', shh. Shh. Calm down. That wasn't because I don't feel the same way about you that you do about me. God knows I feel the same. Pretty sure every one of my friends and your friends knows that I do. I just didn't realize how much of a romantic you were and it just surprised me because I'm not used to it."

        "Okay." Steve murmured, feeling a little foolish for freaking out like he had.

        "Besides, Etta James' version of At Last and Elvis' version of Can't Help Falling in Love are two of my favorite songs. Getting to hear you sing acoustic versions of them and know that you actually mean the lyrics is...well, it's fucking amazing." Bucky said, smiling slightly.

        "You really liked it that much?"

        "Let's just say that I downloaded the video to my iPod and have been playing it whenever I've had a free moment. I'm pretty sure that I'm going to have it memorized by the time we have our next Skype call."

        "I'll have to make you some more then."

        "Honestly, I'm just using it to memorize the sound of your voice and the way your face lights up when you have a full-fledged smile."

        Steve blushed and said, "And you say I'm the romantic."

        "I'm just smooth and know how to flirt. You're the one who knows how to be romantic."

        "I just try to do things that I think will make you smile."

        "Well, you singing Can't Help Falling in Love certainly got me smiling. My squad thought I had been replaced with a pod person. Even my C.O. thought something was up."

        Steve chuckled and said, "Well, I'm glad you liked it."

        "Of course I liked it. You were the one singing it."

        "Buck, I'm pretty much tone deaf. I must've sounded horrible."

        "Not really. I thought you were pretty good, actually."

        "You are biased."

        "True. But with a sexy boyfriend like you, who wouldn't be a bit biased?" Bucky asked, winking.

        Steve chuckled and said, "You're crazy."

        "Crazy for you."

        "Oh my God, Bucky. You fucking dork."

        "You love me."

        "Yeah. I do." Steve said, smiling gently.

        Bucky smiled slightly and looked down at his arm. He bit his lip and, after a moment, said, "I was thinking about...about not re-upping after this tour's over. I served my minimum time and I'm...I'm honestly getting tired of the job. And I'd like to spend time with the kids. I missed so much of their lives already that...it just sucks."

        "I get that. And you know that I'll support you in whatever you want to do, Buck."

        "I know. I just....I don't know what I'm going to do when I get back. I don't really have any marketable skills. Other than, you know, killing people and tearing apart engines."

        "Well, the good thing is that you wouldn't really need to worry about a job right off the bat. We'd take care of you."

        "What do you mean?"

        "I mean once you're a part of the group, you're family. No matter what. So that means if you need a job, someone finds you a place that fits the skills you have. Tony could hire you as a security consultant. Phil would probably love to hire you as a hand to hand guy at the gym. Or, if neither of those appeals to you, Bruce could give you a job at the studio answering phones until you figure out what you really want to do."

        "Your friends would do that? For me? I'm not even really apart of the group."

        "Yet. If you're going to be spending most of you leave with me, then you're going to also be hanging out with them a lot. Besides, they know how I feel about you, Buck. And Darcy's already claimed you as one of her BFFs so you've already got one foot in the door."

        "True." Bucky said, nodding thoughtfully.

        "What did you want to do as a kid? Besides be a soldier."

        "Honestly? I kind of wanted to be an engineer. Design and build things to help people. Both on the large scale and on the individual scale. You know, things like cleaner energy sources and biofuels, making prosthetics better and less clunky. Designing things that make life easier for those with chronic illnesses, like that stabilizing spoon that came out a while ago, and even better hearing aids. But after I realized how hard school was for me, no matter how much I liked it, I kind of gave up on that and focused on being a soldier." Bucky said, blushing slightly and shrugging.

        "You could go back to school. Use your GI Bill and get your degree."

        "Steve, I've been out of high school for over a decade, there's no way I can do that. I'll probably just go to a technical school and get a job as a mechanic."

        "Hey, don't you dare think you can't do something just because it's been awhile. I know you can do it."

        "Steve, I can't-"

        "Yes, you can." Steve said, cutting him off with a slight scowl. Softening his expression at Bucky's chastised look, he added, "I won't push you to do something you don't want to do. But, I will push you if the only reason you're not doing what you want is that you don't think you can do it. Because that is bullshit, Bucky. Becca's showed me some of your high school notebooks-"

        Bucky groaned and said, "Oh lord. Which ones did she show you?"

        "The science ones. Buck, some of the doodle blueprints you did could, with a bit of tweaking, make a hell of an impact on the world. You have the ideas and the intelligence to do this, you just have to believe that you can."

        "Having the ideas doesn't change the fact that I'm dumb, Steve."

        "Damnit, Bucky. You're not fucking dumb, okay? If you were, you wouldn't have command of your own squad so just knock that self-deprecation shit off."

        "Answer me this, Steve, how is it going to be any different than it was back then? My professors aren't going to care and I can't afford to pay a tutor for the amount of time I'm going to need to make sure I have everything straight in my head."

        "I'll tutor you then."

        "You were an art major, Steve. As much as I love that you're willing to support me, I don't think that you can really help with all the science shit I would have to learn."

        "Then we talk to Bruce and Tony and see if either of them would be willing to tutor you. Both of them specialized in the sciences so you can't use the excuse that it's "not their area" with them."

        Sighing, Bucky looked down and pinched the bridge of his nose. After a beat, he said, "Let's just drop this for now, Steve. I'd rather not spend the rest of my birthday call fighting about something that may or may not even happen."

        Steve looked down and said, "Alright. I'm sorry, Buck. I just...It hurts hearing you talk about yourself like that when I know it's not true."

        "It probably hurts just as much as when I read your letters and you're talking about how unattractive you think you are when I know that you're not."

        Sighing, Steve took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. Without looking at Bucky, he said, "I'm sorry. I didn't....I just..."

        "I get it. We both have things we don't like about ourselves and we both happen to get really passionate about trying to prove that the other is wrong about what they're insecure about. I understand. If I were there with you, I'd be happy to argue it out with you. For now, I really don't want to spend the next couple hours fighting with you, scumpule*. Not when it's all the time I've got with you for who knows how long."

        Steve smiled slightly and, looking up at Bucky, asked, "What would you like to talk about then?"

        "How's work going?"

        "It's going. The apprentices are doing well. I've cut back my hours some and took a few more commissions from Tony. I'm working on a tattoo for Bruce but...I don't know. Nothing's coming to me right now."

        "What did Bruce want?"

        "He said 'Just surprise me, I know you do good work.' and left it at that. I've been sketching mandalas all day but nothing's really appealing to me."

        "I'm sorry. Maybe you just need to take a break and get your head back on straight."

        "Maybe. Have you thought anymore about getting another tattoo?"

        "Actually, I have. I'm thinking of getting one of those old transistor radios from the 70s along with a line from a letter that my dad wrote me."

        "Where would you want it?" Steve asked, pulling out his sketchpad and a pencil from where he'd stashed them in the coffee table's drawer.

        "Right forearm. My CO said that if I want it there, I need to get it on leave before they change the regulations on tattoos." Bucky said, shrugging.

        "Any specific type of transistor radio? I know there are quite a few." Steve asked, flipping his sketchpad open and jotting down what Bucky wanted.

        "Well, there is this one that's in a few photos of me as a kid with my dad that I thought would be cool if you could model it after. I think they're up on Facebook."

        "Would they be in an album?" Steve asked, looking over at Bucky curiously.

        "Yeah. I can't remember the name of it though. It's been a while since I updated it."

        Humming softly in acknowledgement, Steve opened his web browser and logged on to Facebook. He scrolled through Bucky's albums until he found one entitled Thanks for the Memories that looked like it was filled with childhood photos. Chuckling, he clicked on it and said, "Nice Fall Out Boy reference."

        "At least it's kind of clever. Unlike the titles of your albums." Bucky said, smirking slightly.

        "Hey, I'm an artist, not a writer. I'm shit at coming up with titles so "Shit I drew from 10th grade" works as an album title." Steve said, scrolling through Bucky's album. He raised his eyebrows and said, "There're a lot of photos in here. Jesus."

        "Yeah. I uploaded most of them in high school after one of my friends' apartment building burned down and he lost pretty much everything. It kind of made me realize that anything could happen and, since I didn't want to lose those memories, I felt the need to digitize everything in case something happened to the originals."

        "That makes sense. Natasha digitized most of ours. They're on a couple different platforms so even if we lose the flash drive or the cloud crashes, we've still got digital copies somewhere." Steve said, shrugging and clicking through a few more photos. Grinning, he said, "Oh my God, Buck. You were adorable as a kid."

        Bucky groaned and said, "Yeah, yeah. At least none of the embarrassing ones are up. Becca has those stashed away somewhere."

        "Oh, you mean the bubble bath pictures?" Steve asked, shooting Bucky a knowing look.

        "Oh my God. Don't tell me she actually showed those to you." Bucky said, looking faintly horrified.

        Steve chuckled and said, "She mentioned them. But she didn't actually show me. She said that she was waiting for us to pull our heads out of our asses first."

        "Which means she'll probably show you after I tell her that we're officially boyfriends. Fuck me." Bucky said, running a hand through his hair.

        "I'd love to but you're in Afghanistan right now."

        "Haha, very funny, dorkface."

        "If it makes you feel any better, Natasha'll probably start sending the embarrassing photos after I tell her. And, I think I found the photo you were talking about." Steve said, pausing on a photo of a four-year-old Bucky sitting on the steps of an apartment building with an older man who looked a lot like him; both staring intently at an old transistor radio. Looking back at Bucky, he said, "I'm sure I can draw something like that. I won't do it the watercolor style that I've been doing lately though. It'd probably look better in a pointillist or cubist style actually. It all depends on which aesthetic you want to go for."

        "Which would you be more comfortable doing it in?"

        "I haven't really done either style in a while but I've got a few months to get back into it. I'll draw a mock up for both styles and see which you like better when you get here. And the quote for your dad I can just scan, enlarge, and transfer. I've done it hundreds of times for people."

        "Okay. I trust you, Steve."

        "Yeah, I know you do. I just don't trust myself with marking you."

        "We don't have to do it as soon as I get there."

        "It takes a few weeks for it to fully heal, Buck. I'd rather not take the chance of it still being in the healing process when you have to go back."

        Bucky shrugged and said, "Fine. But I want to be able to go swimming on your birthday."

        "Then you'll have to get it sometime before the 6th of June for me to let you in the pool."

        "I should be back by then."

        "Once you know for sure what day you're coming back, make an appointment for a consultation with Darcy then a couple days later I'll ink you."

        Bucky grinned and said, "I'm looking forward to it. And seeing what that'll do to you."

        Steve blushed and, rolling his eyes, said, "I'll probably pitch a tent but you are not allowed to use that against me."

        "Nah, I'll just give you an extra special blowjob that night."

        Steve groaned and said, "Please don't tease me like that."

        "Is it teasing if that's exactly what I plan to do?" Bucky asked, raising an eyebrow.

        "Bucky." Steve said, shooting him a warning look.

        "Alright, alright, I'll behave." Bucky said, chuckling softly.

        "You better." Steve muttered, picking up a pencil and sketching out a few rough ideas for the radio.

        There was a few beats of silence before Bucky said, "I'm really glad I met you, ya know. Not just for the relationship thing but...for everything else."

        Steve looked up at him and, with a small smile, said, "I'm glad I met you too, Buck. I don't...I don't feel as lonely anymore. At least, not in the way I used to."

        "I know what you mean." Bucky said, nodding slightly. He paused for a moment before he asked, "Is it weird that I miss you even though I haven't officially met you?"

        "I don't think so. I miss you too even though I haven't seen you in person. Honestly, I think meeting you in person, and spending two and a half months with you, is just going to make me miss you even more when you have to go back."

        "I think I know what you mean but...How so?" Bucky asked, cocking his head to the side.

        Steve set his pencil down and, putting all of his focus on Bucky, said, "Because I'll know a hell of a lot more than I do now. I mean, for instance, I'll know exactly what it's like to fall asleep in your arms. I'll know what you look like first thing in the morning, when the sunlight's streaming through my bedroom window and my cats are crawling all over us, meowing and head-butting us, because they want to be fed. I'll know the sound of your voice...of your laugh without the digital distortion of Skype. I'll know how your lips feel on mine. Knowing how badly we want each other, I know that by the end of your leave I'll know what it's like to make love with you. I'll know all of that and more which'll make letting you go back even harder. Because I know that I'm not going to want to let you go, not once I have you. But I'm going to have to and having all that knowledge is going to make missing you even worse because I'll know what it's like to have you. Right now, it's all hypotheticals and fantasies. But when you come home? Then it'll be real and concrete and we'll discover all these little things about each other to miss and yeah. It's going to hurt to have to let you go back."

        Bucky smiled sadly and said, "Being the partner of someone in the military isn't for everyone. I'll understand if you....if you don't want to continue it. When I have to leave."

        "Bucky, I'll always want to be with you. Even if it's hard, even if it sucks, even if I miss you like hell most days. Because you're worth it to me."

        Looking down and wiping at his eyes, Bucky smiled and said, with as much love and affection he could muster, "Te iubesc, scumpule. Te iubesc foarte mult*."

        Blushing, Steve looked down and said, "I don't know exactly what you said but I think I get the gist." Looking up, he didn't even try to keep the I'm hopelessly gone on you look off of his face or the affection out of his tone as he said, "Tá mé i ngrá leat freisin, mo ghrá geal*."

        Grinning, Bucky rested his head on his pillow and said, "I have no idea what you said but I like the feeling behind it. And I like listening to you speak Irish."

        Steve raised an eyebrow and said, "I don't do it often. And when I do it's usually just pet names or something like that because no one I know speaks it. The only other language I can really speak is French. Natasha tried teaching me Russian but it didn't really work."

        "My sister and I talk in Romanian sometimes. Usually when she's teasing me about you so the kids don't know what she's saying. Ezra also speaks Romanian because of his job and just rolls his eyes at us. I know a bit of French because of Gabe and Dernier. Mostly curse words. Or how to proposition people. I had to learn Russian for an extended op that I went on with Clint. Never believe anyone who says Russian and Romanian are similar, they're talking out of their ass."

        "Even I knew that. Russian's a Slavic language, Romanian's one of the romance languages. The only thing that they really have in common is that they start with R and are in the same general area on the map."

        "Exactly!" Bucky said, giving Steve a _No one understands why this pisses me off_ look. Steve chuckled softly and rested his head against his sofa again as he watched Bucky shifting around on his cot to get more comfortable. Once he was situated, Bucky looked back at him and said, "Now, why don't you show me some of your French skills?"

        Steve raised an eyebrow and said, "Je veux que tu me fasses l'amour quand tu reviens aux Etats-Unis.*"

        "Je le ferais avec grand plaisir. Pour nous deux*." Bucky said, grinning flirtatiously and winking.

        Steve chuckled and said, "I'm sure it will be. So. What would you like to talk about now?"

        "Hmm....How're Monty and Ny? They haven't run across the screen yet."

        "Monty's sunning himself in the window and Nyota's climbing around on her new cat-tree thing that Tony made her."

        "Tony made your cat a cat tree?"

        "Well, since Monty and Ny are basically my babies and I'm the first to have any sort of children, Tony's spoiling them like he would if they were actual kids. It's kind of hilarious."

        "Do any of your friends actually want children?" Bucky asked, cocking his head to the side.

        "Tony and Bruce are both still a little terrified that they'll turn out like their own fathers to even try fostering a child or adopting one let alone getting a surrogate. Darcy definitely doesn't want kids right now, not while Loki's still spending most of his time touring or in the studio. Sam and Riley are still dealing with some shit that they need to get sorted before they adopt or look for a surrogate. I have no idea if Phil wants kids but I know that he's got a shitload of niblings-"

        "Niblings?"

        "Plural gender neutral term for the kids of your siblings."

        "Huh. Learn something new every day."

        Steve chuckled and said, "Yeah. And Jane and Thor might be having a little one sometime in the near future once Jane's business stabilizes. Natasha and Pepper started looking into sperm donors last week but nothing's written in stone. Pretty sure Maria's the only one actively trying to get pregnant."

        "Which one's Maria?"

        "The one who's in a relationship with Nick and works with Natasha and Phil. I haven't talked about her much since we don't interact much outside of when she comes to the shop to visit with Nick and at Stark's parties. She's nice and pretty badass but we just don't interact much."

        "Huh. Well, I hope that works out for her."

        "I hope so too. She's having to do in vitro instead of artificial insemination."

        "Why wouldn't they just do it the old fashioned way?" Bucky asked, frowning slightly.

        Steve shot him a confused look and said, "Because Maria's an indifferent asexual and Nick is, on a personal level at least, a sex-repulsed asexual. Did I not tell you that before?"

        "No. I remember you mentioning that pretty much all of your friends were a part of the queer community in some way but nothing about anyone's sexuality other than your own."

        "Oh. Huh. Okay." Steve said, rubbing the back of his neck.

        "Anyway. What about you? Do you want kids?" Bucky asked, shooting Steve a curious look.

        Steve frowned and, looking down at his pants, said, "I don't know. I certainly don't want to pass along my genetics to anyone, that's for damn sure." Looking back up at Bucky, he asked, "What about you?"

        "Not really. I like kids but I also like being able to give them back to their parents after a while." Bucky said, shrugging.

        "I can understand that." Steve said, nodding.

        "Besides, getting your fur-kids to like me is going to be hard enough."

        "Just feed them and pet them and they'll love you forever." Steve said, chuckling softly.

        "Mmm. Sounds easy enough."

        "They're fairly easy to please. Kind of like me."

        "Oh? And what do I have to do to keep you?"

        "The main one is that you have to treat me like your equal, not like I'm made of glass. Even if I do bruise like a damn peach."

        "Well, that won't be hard because I already do see you as my equal. Anything else?"

        "Don't get offended if I stop talking to you for a few days. Especially if I have a deadline coming up. I get weird when I'm working on a commission."

        "Okay. I'll try not to take it personally but...I can't promise that I won't be clingy and in need of some Steve time after you're done with your commission and are back to talking to me again."

        "That's understandable. I'll probably need a few days of Bucky time during your leave."

        "Mmm, if I hadn't promised to help my sister out with the kids, I would so keep us holed up in your apartment for the majority of my leave."

        "But you did and you promised me baseball."

        Bucky laughed and said, "I did. I did promise you baseball. Lots of baseball if I remember correctly. And I promised I'd let you draw me like one of your French girls."

        "Wearing nothing but your dog tags." Steve said, smiling fondly as he remembered the conversation.

        "Wearing nothing but my dog tags." Bucky agreed with a grin. Steve grinned and shifted slightly only to wince a second later. Bucky shot him a concerned look and asked, "You okay?"

        "Yeah, I just....I got my nipple pierced last month and it's still a little tender. I mean it's healing surprisingly fast but it's sensitive. To be honest, I expected it to take at least three months to get to the point that it's at now."

        "You....You got a nipple pierced?" Bucky asked, blinking.

        "Yeah," Steve said, dragging out the vowels and squinting suspiciously at Bucky. Frowning, he asked, "Is that a problem?"

        "No. No, definitely not. I just....Can I see it?" Bucky asked, blushing.

        Steve shrugged and said, "Sure." Shifting onto his knees, Steve slipped the sweater he was wearing off and set it aside. The v-neck he was wearing underneath it plunged down almost to his sternum so all he did was shift it to one side so the piercing was showing. Looking back at his laptop, he adjusted it and his position until he could see that Bucky had a clear view of the piercing. Licking his lips, he said, "It's not much right now but I should be able to switch it out to something more my style by my birthday."

        "What would you switch it out to?" Bucky asked softly, staring intently at his screen.

        Steve noticed how intently Bucky was watching the screen and smiled slightly. Apparently he'd stumbled upon one of Bucky's kinks. He made a mental note to find out what else Bucky liked before his boyfriend got back to Brooklyn for leave. Settling back onto his butt, he readjusted his shirt again and said, "Well. There's an gryphon shield at the shop that comes in a size small enough for me. And of course there's a couple that are just bars with stuff hanging off of them that I like."

        Bucky nodded and said, "The gryphon shield could look cool. And it'd go with your leg tattoo."

        "There is that. But I'd also like to wear something that you'd like to see on me." Steve said, watching Bucky carefully.

        Bucky smiled and said, "Steve, I'm going to like whatever jewelry you wear as long as it's not causing you to get an infection."

        "I wasn't talking about just jewelry." Steve said, raising an eyebrow.

        "Oh...Well...Um. I hadn't...really thought about it?" Bucky said, blushing and averting his eyes.

        "Well...if you think of something, don't be afraid to tell me. I'm down for pretty much whatever." Steve said, shooting Bucky a reassuring smile when his boyfriend glanced up at him.

        "I'll think about it and get back to you on that." Bucky said, smiling shyly.

        "Alright." Steve said, yawning.

        "We should probably get to sleep, scumpule*." Bucky said, chuckling softly.

        "Probably." Steve said, standing up. He picked his laptop up and carried it to his bedroom.

        "Did you eat enough today? I know your schedule was kind of wacky."

        "Yes, I had breakfast about an hour after I woke up, had lunch sometime around seven or eight am, and I ate dinner about half an hour before you called. Which means I ate like two hours ago." Steve said, setting his laptop down on his bed and plugging it in.

        "Okay. Just making sure." Bucky said as he hauled himself up off his cot. Wandering off screen, he said, "I'm going to brush my teeth and stuff, I'll be back in a minute."

        "Alright, I'm gonna ready for bed too." Steve said, glancing over at his laptop before heading over to his dresser and pulling out his night clothes. He shoved off his pants off and kicked them towards the hamper in the corner, not bothering to make sure they actually made it into the hamper. After pulling on his pajama bottoms, he swapped the sweater and v-neck out for an old long sleeve t-shirt Becca had given him that had the words 'Lincoln Railsplitters Varsity Baseball' written across the front. After making sure that the shades were drawn, he headed to his bathroom to go through his nightly ritual.

        Monty and Ny were curled up in front of his laptop, meowing at it, when he walked back into his bedroom. Chuckling softly, Steve left the door cracked and flicked off the lights before he walked over and crawled into bed. Bucky was making funny faces at his cats and looked a little embarrassed at being caught. Steve just grinned and said, "And you say I'm a dork."

        "You are a dork. My dork but a dork nonetheless."

        "Okay, jerk."

        "Punk. Wait." Bucky squinted at the screen and asked, "Is that...Did Becca give you that?"

        "Yeah, it was in the pile of sweaters along with a couple other t-shirts. She said you wouldn't care. Why?"

        "Because that's my old baseball shirt. I forgot I even had it in storage. Probably can't fit into it anyway so I guess it's yours now." Bucky said with a smile. Steve hummed softly in acknowledgement and lifted the neck of the shirt to cover his nose and mouth to inhale the soft scent of detergent that wasn't his and an unfamiliar cologne. Bucky chuckled and said, "You're so fucking adorable, Stevie."

        "I'm not adorable." Steve said, frowning slightly and untucking his nose and mouth from the t-shirt.

        "Yeah, you kind of are. Like, insanely adorable."

        "No. Babies are adorable. Puppies and kittens are adorable. I am not adorable."

        "Steve, pisoiul meu*, do you have something against being considered adorable?"

        Steve shifted uncomfortably and, looking down, said, "I just find it kind of demeaning. I mean...I know you don't mean it like that and it hasn't really bothered me before but..."

        Bucky frowned and, propping himself up, asked, "What's wrong, Steve? What happened?"

        "I just ran into someone I went on a couple dates with the other day. She...well....her new boyfriend almost knocked me on my ass in the grocery store. We'd parted on good terms and I'm friends with her sister so we were catching up a little since I hadn't seen her since New Year's when her boyfriend asked her if I was the tattoo artist she'd mentioned dating. When she nodded, he said, "Well, ain't he adorable." And...it was just the way he said it that made it feel like he was mocking me and it was like I was back in high school all over again. I just...I don't want to be called adorable again for a while."

        "Alright. I won't call you adorable anymore. At least, not until you tell me I can."

        "Seriously? Just like that?" Steve asked, looking up at Bucky incredulously.

        "Just like that. I'm not going to call you something that bothers you, scumpule*."

        Steve smiled tiredly and said, "Thank you, a stór*."

        "I'd be a pretty shit boyfriend if I kept calling you something that I know you didn't like, punk." Bucky said, smiling slightly and laying his head back down on his pillow.

        "Don't let it go to your head, jerk, but you're a pretty awesome boyfriend." Steve said, shifting his blankets around.

        Bucky smiled and said, "I think you're a pretty awesome boyfriend too, Stevie." He paused to make sure Steve was looking at him before he said, "Goodnight, sleep tight."

        "Goodnight, Buck." Steve said before he took his hearing aids out and set them on his nightstand with his glasses.

        "Te iubesc foarte mult*." Bucky said, a little louder than normal so that Steve would be able to hear him, and hiked the quilt up around his shoulders.

        "Tá mé i ngrá leat freisin*." Steve murmured, shutting his eyes and letting the soft whirr of his laptop's fan and Bucky's steady breathing lull him to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
> Romanian:  
> scumpule: darling, lit. treasured one ([x](http://little-details.livejournal.com/1785377.html))  
> Te iubesc: I love you ([x](http://forum.wordreference.com/showthread.php?t=1089408))  
> Te iubesc foarte mult: I love you very much ([x](http://forum.wordreference.com/showthread.php?t=1089408))  
> pisoiul meu: my kitten ([x](http://little-details.livejournal.com/1785377.html))
> 
> Irish:  
> Tá mé i ngrá leat freisin: I love you too, lit. I'm in love with you too ([x](http://www.bitesizeirishgaelic.com/blog/irish-i-love-you/))  
> mo ghrá geal: my true love; lit. bright love ([x](http://www.bitesizeirishgaelic.com/blog/irish-endearments/))  
> a stór: my treasure ([x](http://www.bitesizeirishgaelic.com/blog/irish-endearments/))
> 
> French:  
> Je veux que tu fasses l'amour avec moi quand tu reviens aux États-Unis: I want you to make love to me when you come back to the United States.  
> Je le ferais avec grand plaisir: I would do it with pleasure.  
> Pour nous deux: For both of us.
> 
> If you have any corrections please drop me a line on my [tumblr](never-been-sane.tumblr.com/ask) or comment here.


	13. Of mornings and love letters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _ _____There's still so much that I want to say but I have to go. I have an early morning meeting and I need to get some rest before I meet with my commanding officer. I miss you like hell, Stevie, and I can't wait to see you either. I look forward to being able to fall asleep with you by my side. _   
> _ _____Take care of yourself, punk, _   
> _ __________xoxo și toate dragostea mea, _   
> _ _______________Bucky _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the long wait but here ya go. A Thanksgiving gift. Sorta.

      Steve blinked his eyes open blearily and frowned as his laptop came into focus. Bucky was sitting up on his cot and rubbing his eyes. Reaching over, he quickly put his hearing aids back in and asked, "Buck? Everything okay?"

      Bucky looked over at him and, with a warm smile, said, "Yeah, Stevie. Go back to sleep. I just need to get up for patrol."

      "Mmm. I don't think you can go on patrol in just your boxers, mo ghrá geal*. Not that it isn't a good look for you, I just would rather you not be so...exposed." Steve said, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He was still tired but he could stay up for a few minutes to talk to Bucky.

      Bucky chuckled and said, "I'm gonna get dressed, punk. And I'm gonna have my armor and gear on. I'll be fine."

      "You better." Steve murmured, scratching behind Nyota's ear when she headbutted his hand. Bucky shot him another smile before standing up and walking around his room. Steve blushed slightly but cocked his head to admire the view Bucky was giving him as he bent over to dig something out of a foot locker. Grinning, he playfully wolf-whistled and said, "Damn, Buck. Can you bounce a quarter off of that ass?"

      Bucky laughed and, glancing over his shoulder as he pulled his pants on, said, "I don't know. You'll have to test that when I get home."

      "Oh, I will." Steve said, grinning sleepily. Bucky turned and walked back over to his laptop with his pants unbuttoned and hanging precariously off his hips. Sitting down, he just looked at Steve for a moment with a gentle smile. Steve raised an eyebrow and asked, "Do I have something on my face?"

      Bucky chuckled and said, "Nah. You just look really fucking gorgeous."

      Blushing, Steve made a sound somewhere between a groan and a laugh and said, "Oh lord, Bucky. Why didn't you tell me you were such a sappy dork?"

      "Because it's more fun to watch your reactions to my sappiness." Bucky said, grinning as he shoved his feet into his boots and laced them up.

      "Mmm, I guess they're rather amusing."

      "Trust me, they are." Bucky said, chuckling and pulling his shirt on. Smiling sadly at Steve, he added, "I better finish getting dressed and head out. Can't keep the guys waiting."

      Steve looked over at him and said, "Stay safe, jerk."

      "I will, punk." Bucky said, smiling tightly. After a beat, his expression softened and he softly said, "Te iubesc foarte mult, scumpule*."

      "Tá mé i ngrá leat freisin, mo stór*." Steve replied, shooting Bucky a small smile. Bucky returned the smile before ending the call. Sighing softly, Steve shut his laptop and rolled back over to go back to sleep; silently praying to whatever deities were listening that Bucky would remain safe. 

* * *

  _6 March 2014_

 

> _Stevie,_
> 
> _I can't really blame you for trying to make yourself feel less terrified for my safety. Gabe has to remind me to quit stressing about you every time he mentions that Peggy said you weren't feeling well in an e-mail or over Skype. It's hard because I wish I was there to take care of you. I mean, I know you have your friends and you have Natasha but I just...I want to be with you. I want to take care of you even though I know you'll probably fight with me every step of the way because you're as stubborn as a mule. Also, I want to remind you that I'm the best at my job and I haven't been hurt in the 12 (13? something like that) years since I enlisted. I'm going to make it home just fine. You'll see._
> 
> _By the way, you should get used to me calling you cute, gorgeous, beautiful, etc. because it's true; even if you don't believe it. I'm not an artist but you have got to see that the proportions of your face are damn near perfect. Yeah, you're thin but it works on you and you don't seem frail like others who are as slim as you. Truth be told, I've always had a thing for smaller guys and I like that I could probably circle your waist with my hands. Of course, I'd still find you attractive if you were 6'2'' and weighed 240 lbs because you'd still be you but that's not really the point. The point is that you **are** attractive. Yes, you have sharp angles and probably bruise like an overripe peach but you still look like you're carved from marble. _
> 
> _I'm sorry that I'm shit at explaining this sort of thing with words. I'd do better with showing you all the parts of you that I find so damn beautiful. Like your collarbones and the way they jut out a little or your rib cage and the way the skin pulls tight when you're stretching your arms over your head. Or your back and the way the trunk of your tree tattoo follows the curve of your spine down to that amazing ass of yours. Jesus, if I was better with words I would write odes to your ass. Oh the things I would give to be able to worship your body the way it deserves. To love it the way it always should've been loved by your partners. Not for my own pleasure (well not solely, I can't deny that it would give me a great deal of pleasure to worship your body the way it should be), but so that you know that every inch of you is beautiful and deserving of that level of praise. You're every bit the marble statue that I am, Steve. I'm willing to prove that to you when I get home; if you want me to, that is._
> 
> _I know that you can take care of yourself, Stevie. I never doubted that. I just want to spoil you because I can. I'll try not to pay for everything but you may have to remind me to let you pay sometimes because I'll probably forget. And Becca's buying the tickets to the game with the kids, not me so you'll have to take that one up with her. If we take the kids to a museum or something, you can pay. That work for you? And I'm not "letting" you tag along, I'm dragging your ass with me because you're just as important to me as those kids are. ~~And I'd like some eyecandy to look at during the game if it turns out to be a shitty one.~~_
> 
> _I'm looking forward to the video. It'll be awesome, no matter what you do. I've got a couple ideas for a video for you but I have to find a piano. Or an electronic keyboard. Something with keys. Fuck, I might just say screw it and find an online piano thing and just play on my laptop if I can't find an actual piano. Speaking of videos, Darcy sent me one today of you as an early birthday gift. I don't think you knew she was filming since you never actually looked at the camera and it was just of you doing random shit throughout the day. Like you drinking coffee while balancing the books and you walking Miles through the proper way to set up a tattoo gun. Just, random stuff that I won't get to see until I'm back in the states. It was kind of nice, though I think I would've preferred you being aware that she was filming you. I kind of felt like a creeper._
> 
> _Natasha messaged me the other day. Well, we've been sending each other facebook messages and talking about random shit to get to know each other but this one was a bit more purposeful. I think she just gave her blessing for me to date you? At least that's what I'm assuming it was since she proceeded to list the ways she'd make me pay if I hurt you. None of which involved death but all of them involved a fuckton of pain and some even involved me getting permanently maimed. Your sister is fucking terrifying, even if she is just a civilian._
> 
> _I've got to get going, we've got patrol in the morning. I know you probably won't get this until after we Skype but I want you to know that I'm really looking forward to it. I can't wait to hear your voice again and see your smile._
> 
> _Take care of yourself, punk,_  
>  _xoxo și toate dragostea mea_ _,  
> _ _Bucky_
> 
> * * *
> 
> _March 13, 2014_
> 
> _Bucky,_
> 
> _I couldn't stop thinking about you today. Even when I was focused on a client or doing something else, you were always in the back of my mind. It's been like that for the past couple days, actually. I'm having a hard time sleeping without hearing your breathing through my shitty laptop speakers. I didn't think I could get in this over my head that fast but here I am, three days after we last spoke, missing you like I'm missing a limb. It's a strange feeling. One that I'm sure will get worse after I see you and you have to ship back out again. Knowing that, I still wouldn't have it any other way. I'd rather deal with the pain of missing you than the pain of not having you. And I know my friends wouldn't want it to go back to the way it was before because they're ecstatic that I've stopped being a mopey idiot over you and, after reading your last letter, that I've stopped thinking that you won't want me. Speaking of your last letter..._
> 
> _Buck, you don't have to write odes to my ass, even if the thought of reading them is rather amusing. To be honest, just reading about how you want to "...worship [my] body the way it deserves. To love it the way it always should've been loved by [my] partners..." makes me feel pretty damn adored and wanted. And I do want you to do that. I can't express how badly I want that. How badly I want you. At times, it's almost as if I can feel your lips and hands on me; holding me close and covering my skin with kisses. Tracing the outlines of my tattoos with your fingers. Or your lips. Or your tongue. I just. God knows how badly I want that, Buck. I want you to show me what it's like to be worshipped by you. To be loved by you._
> 
> _And I want to show you what it's like to be worshipped by me. Loved by me. I don't have a hell of a lot of experience given that I can count the number of people I've had strong enough feelings for to have sex with on one hand (with fingers left over). But I'm not completely clueless. I know that everyone has spots that make them completely unravel. I want to find yours and make you unravel for me. I want you to be comfortable enough with me to let me see that side of you. I want...I want you. I want you so badly that it makes my chest ache. I want to wrap myself up in you and stay there for as long as you'll let me. I want the memory of you loving me seared into me like a brand. So I'll never forget how you make me feel. How you make me want like no one else has._
> 
> _It's been a long time since I've felt this strongly about another person or felt so needy about having someone with me. I know I've spent the past couple paragraphs talking about the sexual aspect of those feelings but it runs so much deeper than that for me. It kind of has to because of the way my sexuality works. I just....I can't even remember what it was like not having you in my life. Not really. I look back on the months before I started writing you and I don't even recognize myself. It's like I was a different person._
> 
> _Now, I'm not going to say I was incomplete or that I need you to make me whole because that's bullshit. I didn't need you to make me whole because I was already whole. I will say that you made me realize that there was more to life than just working and hanging out with friends. You made me realize that I wasn't truly happy in my life. I was content but I wasn't actually happy. You make me happy. So fucking happy. Just thinking about you makes me smile like a lovesick idiot. Most of the time, I'm not even doing something that should make me think of you. Like today, I was cleaning up my station after working on a client when I started thinking about the way your eyes crinkle when you laugh and I couldn't stop smiling for almost an hour. Later, when I was having dinner with Natasha, all I could think about was that look you get sometimes when we're skyping. The one that says "if I was there right now, I'd kiss you." You're very distracting._
> 
> _I still have so much to say but I'm falling asleep as I write this so I should probably go to bed. I just want you to know that I miss you and can't wait to see you this summer._
> 
> _Stay safe, jerk,_  
>  _xoxo agus gach mo grá,  
> _ _Steve_
> 
> * * *
> 
> _25 March 2014_
> 
> _Steve,_
> 
> _First off, I'm sorry that it's taken so long to write back. I had to go on an emergency mission that ended up taking a fucking week to complete and your letter arrived smack dab in the middle of that week. I actually got it yesterday after I was released from medical because my doctors didn't want me reading it while I was there. They said something about how I needed rest and to not be distracted. And before you freak out, I wasn't in medical because I got shot or anything. I was just dehydrated and exhausted so they needed to push fluids while I slept._
> 
> _Secondly, I'm glad they didn't give me this while I was in medical because holy fucking shit, Steve. I probably would've given the nurse on duty a fucking heart attack with how erratic my heartbeat went as I read it. I just. Jesus fucking Christ. Okay, let me try to get my thoughts together so I can respond with coherent sentences instead of just cursing or needy little whines that make my team look at me funny and that you can't actually hear anyway._
> 
> _Just so you know, I don't care that you don't have a lot of experience. That's not important to me. What's important to me is that you want to and that you're eager to do so. I don't care if it's sloppy or awkward because all sex is sloppy and awkward; no matter how experienced the people involved are. What I care about is that you want me enough and you care enough about me to try. No one I've been with has cared enough about what I wanted to try to please me outside of making me cum. I want you to explore me. Love me. Seek out those spots on me that will make me unravel. I want to be putty in your hands, Steve. I trust you enough to allow you to make me unravel. I trust you with everything._
> 
> _And God knows that I want you too. I hope you believe me when I say that I would let you wrap yourself in me and stay there forever if that's what you wanted. Honestly, I'm still in disbelief that you feel this strongly about me. No one else has and I don't think the true strength of what we're both feeling is really going to hit me until I see you in person; not until I can touch you, hold you, and kiss you. I mean, I know it's real. I know that what I feel for you is real. But it still kind of feels like a dream. Like I'm in some bizzaro world where someone actually cares about me as much as I care about them. Where someone wants me for more than my dick. Or my ass. Or both. Where someone actually fucking believes in me and is willing to fight with me over a grainy Skype call to try to get what they're saying through my thick ass skull. Where someone ~~loves me~~ cares about me as much as you do._
> 
> _I know what you mean when you say that you feel like a different person now. I can't remember what it's like to not know you. To be honest, it's kind of terrifying how quickly you've become one of the most important people in my life. There've been nights where I lay awake and wonder what I would do if I ever lost you. I don't like thinking about stuff like that but when you see death nearly every day it's kind of hard not to. I don't want to have to live without you, Steve. I don't want to know what it would be like to lose you. You make me so fucking happy, I don't want to know that type of pain. Not until we're old and gray and even then I wouldn't want to know a world without you. And, yes, I know that that was insanely cheesy and sappy enough to make it into a Nick Sparks novel. In any other circumstance I'd be gagging if I heard someone say that, but it doesn't seem as trite to me now because I know it's how I feel about you._
> 
> _There's still so much that I want to say but I have to go. I have an early morning meeting and I need to get some rest before I meet with my commanding officer. I miss you like hell, Stevie, and I can't wait to see you either. I look forward to being able to fall asleep with you by my side._
> 
> _Take care of yourself, punk,_  
>  _xoxo și toate dragostea mea_ _,  
> _ _Bucky_
> 
> * * *
> 
> _April 1, 2014_
> 
> _Buck,_
> 
> _I'm glad that you're okay. I got used to getting your letters about two weeks after I sent my last one so I was worried when I hadn't heard from you. I guess Peggy noticed how distracted I was and asked Gabe if you were alright. Apparently he told her that you were on a mission but that he couldn't say where or how long you'd be gone. She relayed the message but it didn't really help much. I was still worried about you until I got your last letter. Honestly, Buck, I can't wait until you're here and I can just hug you. It should only be a couple more months, right? You said that you'd be in near the beginning of June so I figured it can't be too far away._
> 
> _Speaking of your leave, your sister and I talked about a few things over lunch yesterday. We both agreed that you should stay with them for the first couple nights; especially if you get in on a weekend. Mainly so that you get to see the kids and have some family time before I'm added into the mix. Not to mention the fact that your sister seems to think that I won't let you out of bed for a week once I get my hands on you. I mean, the thought is nice and all but it's probably not going to happen. As much as I might want to just tie you to the bed and have my way with you (or vice versa; I like both roles equally), I know that I'm going to want to take things slow when it comes to that aspect of our relationship. As deeply as we feel for each other intellectually, we have to figure out if we're physically compatible as well. Which isn't something we're going to know until you're here. Unfortunately, attraction and mental compatibility doesn't necessarily mean physical compatibility. I learned that one the hard way._
> 
> _I know what you mean when you say you feel like you're in a bizzaro world. Some times I have to remind myself that this is all real and that you're really mine and you're really coming home soon. But this is real. My feelings for you are real and I want you for so much more than your body. I care about you, Bucky. All of you. And I will fight with you as much as I have to until you see that you're intelligent and useful and capable of more than you ever thought possible. And I hope you know that I'm not going to leave you. I don't think I could ever bring myself to do that to either of us. I can't promise that I won't get sick because that's just unrealistic but I'll try to stay healthy. For both of our sakes._
> 
> _I need to get back to work on this commission, but I want you to know that I think about you every day and I can't wait until I'm in your arms. I miss you._
> 
> _Stay safe, jerk,  
> _ _xoxo agus gach mo grá,  
> _ _Steve_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Te iubesc foarte mult, scumpule: I love you very much, darling (lit. treasured one)  
> Tá mé i ngrá leat freisin, mo stór: I love you too (lit. I'm in love with you too), my true love (lit. bright love)  
> și toate dragostea mea: and all my love  
> agus gach mo grá: and all my love


	14. P.S. I love you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky rubbed the back of his neck and began to blush again. "I'd really like it if you were at the airport when I got in. Becca, Ezra, and the kids are going to be there but- but I'd like you to be there too."  
> Steve blinked owlishly at his boyfriend. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't thought about the first time he would meet his boyfriend. Bucky showing up at the shop or on his doorstep were the two most likely options for him. Because, really, it never occurred to him that Bucky might want him at the airport. He just figured that it would be a family thing. Then again, he kind of was family now. Bucky was watching him cautiously, like he was waiting, and mentally preparing, for Steve to say no. Something twisted in Steve's gut when he saw that hesitant look in Bucky's eyes. As if he could say no to this man when it came to something like this. Steve smiled slightly and said, "If that's what you want, then I'll be there with bells on."

      April 7th dawned gray and dreary; rainclouds hid the sun from view and the skies opened up to a downpour around noon. Steve sipped his tea and watched the rain wash over the windowpane. Monty sat by his hip on the windowsill, his tail swishing lazily from side to side. The playlist that Bucky had e-mailed him played softly in the background. One of Etta James' songs was cut off mid-word by the sound of the Skype tone playing. Steve frowned in confusion and turned around.

      Bucky was calling him. Steve crossed the room and hit the accept call with video button then settled down between the couch and the coffee table with his mug. Nyota hopped down from her perch on the cat tree and padded over to him. She had just curled up in his lap when the call finally connected and Bucky's face appeared on the screen. 

      Bucky smiled. His eyes tired and his mouth tighter than normal. "Hey, Stevie."

      Steve cocked his head to the side and raised an eyebrow. "Hey, Buck. Is everything alright?"

      "It's just been a long day." Bucky waved a hand then let it drop onto his stomach.

      Steve eyed him curiously and took a sip of his tea. He set the mug down and stroked Nyota's side. "Do you want to talk about it?"

      Bucky stared at the ceiling for a moment. "I'm not supposed to talk about it. Not with a civilian. There're rules." He shut his eyes and heaved a sigh. His entire body was tense and he looked exhausted. "But....something happened on patrol today."

      "By the way you look, I'm guessing it wasn't something good." Steve eyed his boyfriend carefully. The tenseness in Bucky's body was bothering him. He wished he could do something to help.

      "No. It wasn't." Bucky sighed again and ran a hand through his hair. "We were working with another team....one that isn't as specialized as ours. The other team had point but they weren't used to the area or the civilians. They didn't know the signs."

      "Signs?" Steve frowned, his hand stilled in Nyota's fur. He didn't like the sound of where this was headed. Peggy hadn't called him in a fit of hysterics today so it probably wasn't bad for Bucky's team but he had a bad feeling about the other team.

      Bucky's entire body tensed even more. When he spoke, his voice had a flinty edge to it that Steve hadn't heard from him before. "Warning signs of an attack. I tried to tell the other lead that we needed to get out of there but he thought I was just being overly cautious. I tried to get my guys to pull out but they wouldn't. Didn't want to leave the others in the hands of their dumbass leader." Bucky sighed and rolled on his side. He stared blankly at the quilt and traced the stitching. His voice was softer when he spoke again, cracking slightly with emotion. "Half of their team is dead, the other half is severely wounded. At least two more aren't going to make it through the night."

      "And your team?" Steve fidgeted nervously. It couldn't be that bad if Bucky was talking to him today. But it was later than he usually called so something must've happened.

      Bucky sighed and shrugged. "All we've got are minor injuries thanks to the fact that we wear more protection gear than the average team. I just had to get stitches on my hip where a piece of shrapnel grazed me." He lifted up his shirt and showed Steve the pristine white bandages that peaked out above the waistband of his shorts.

      "Is that gonna leave a scar?" Nyota nudged his hand with her head and he started petting her again.

      "Probably. I...I'd rather not talk about this anymore. I just got done talking with my commanding officer and explaining what happened. I just...I need something happy right now." Bucky shot Steve a pleading look and Steve felt his chest tighten uncomfortably. He never wanted to see that kind of sadness in Bucky's eyes again.

      "Darcy and Loki are helping me with your coming home gift." Steve blurted out. He winced and silently cursed himself. He wasn't supposed to tell Bucky that yet. But it was the first thing he could think of that would cheer his boyfriend up.

      "Oh? And what is this gift?" Bucky raising an eyebrow and shooting Steve a curious look.

      "It's a surprise." Steve flushed slightly. The playlist he was recording for Bucky didn't concern him all that much since Bucky had heard him sing before but the other thing did. The one he was having Darcy help him with. What if he'd read Bucky wrong? What if he didn't actually like-

      "Aww, c'mon, Stevie. Gimme a hint." Bucky grinned, some of the tension in his shoulders melting away.

      Steve chewed on his lip and looked down at Nyota. "Well, I can tell you that you'll get the first half, the one that Loki's helping me with, while you're over there. The second part is going to have to wait until you get back to the states."

      Bucky perked up and grinned excitedly. "Are you singing more for me?"

      Steve's head jerked up and he stared at Bucky. He hadn't expected his boyfriend to be able to guess the first half so quickly. Bucky shot him a shit-eating grin and Steve rolled his eyes. "Yeah. How'd you know?"

      "It's the only thing that I could think of that you'd have to go to Loki to get help with." Bucky shrugged and settled into his pillows. "What are you singing for me, scumpule*?"

      "You'll have to wait until I actually send you the playlist to find out." Steve glanced back down at Nyota and scratched behind her ear.

      "Okay, I look forward to it." Bucky smiled contently and tucked an arm behind his head.

      "I hope you'll like it." Steve muttered as he shot Bucky a shy smile.

      Bucky shot Steve an affectionate look that caused a familiar warmth to pool in Steve's stomach. "Stevie," His voice was low and a tad horse. "Scumpule, I'll love it."

      Steve raised an eyebrow and smiled ruefully. "Even if I sound like a dying cow?"

      Bucky chuckled and nodded. "Even if you sound like a dying cow."

      "What else would you like to talk about?" Steve asked as he leaned back against the sofa.

      Bucky frowned for a moment. "Something's been bothering me about our last conversation."

      "Oh?"

      "Yeah. I just...did you check with Nick and Maria that it was okay to tell me all that stuff? Because I know that I'd be kinda bothered by it if Clint or Gabe was discussing stuff about me without checking that it was okay first. I mean, I'm pretty open about it but the military is still a bit of a good old boys club and it has started fights before."

      Steve nodded. "Nick and Maria were both fine with it, I wouldn't've told you otherwise."

      "Oh. I just. You didn't like text them to see if it was okay or not so I figured you just told me." Bucky flushed from embarrassment and rubbed the back of his neck.

      Steve rolled his eyes. "I was talking to Maria the day before when she was in the shop and we all got on the topic of kids because she was updating us about her treatments. Darcy asked me if you wanted any and, at the time, I didn't know." Steve shrugged. "I ended up asking Maria if it was okay to tell you about her troubles, and what little backstory I knew, if it somehow came up. She said it was fine but I'd have to check with Nick if he was okay with it from his end." Steve raised an eyebrow. "When I asked Nick his exact response was," Steve cleared his throat and tried his best to imitate his friend, "'Rogers, I don't give a flying fuck about what you tell your boyfriend when it comes to me. It's not like I give a shit who knows what my orientation is anyway.'" Steve shrugged and let his voice return to normal. "And then he and Maria left."

      "Oh."

      "None of my friends care if you know about their orientations, Buck. I mean, they know that it's not like we sit around and just talk about their love lives. But they also don't care if I tell you, or anybody else for that matter. It's a non-issue for all of us." Steve smiled slightly. "I understand why it would be an issue for you. New York isn't exactly a shining example of acceptance but it's not a good ole boys club either. Not like the military."

      "It's not an issue. Not really. I just...I'm used to it being an issue." Bucky looked down at the quilt and picked at the invisible lint.

      Steve softened. "You're used to having to hide."

      "Yeah." Bucky murmured, refusing to look up at Steve.

      "Well, you don't have to hide with us. And you don't have to worry about me telling my friends your orientation without clearing it with you first. I may be absentminded sometimes but I'm not a douchebag."

      Bucky made a wounded noise and looked at Steve, offended. "I didn't think you were, Steve."

      "I know. I was just letting you know." Steve shifted to a more comfortable position and smiled slightly at Bucky. "Now...What else would you like to talk about?"

      Bucky shot Steve a small smile. "What's been going on with you lately? We haven't really talked about your day-to-day life in a while."

      "Not a lot. I did my B-12 shot today, injection site's a little sore but that's normal." Steve shrugged. "Finished up a few projects for Tony and took several commissions from local shops. A couple were looking for new flyers and stuff; others were looking for actual artwork to put up." He grinned. "I finally figured out what to do for Bruce's tattoo. Actually, I'm finishing it up tomorrow."

      "What did you end up doing?"

      "An intricate Lotus flower mandala that incorporated some science stuff. Atoms, molecules, a couple equations around the edge."

      "It sounds really cool." Bucky shifted onto his side and curled his arm under his pillow.

      Steve nodded and leaned forward slightly. "Bruce loves it. You'll be able to see it at my birthday party."

      "Our plan for that is still good, right?" Bucky shot Steve a concerned look. "I can buy the plane ticket up there once I get back stateside."

      Steve smiled slightly. "Tony'll just have JARVIS cancel it and book you a flight on his private jet, Buck. He insisted on flying you up when he found out that you wouldn't be coming up with us. Something about not letting a service member fly coach."

      "I've flown in worse." Bucky muttered, rolling his eyes.

      "I know that. And Tony knows that as well. Which is why I don't think he's going to let you fly in anything but the best." Steve raised an eyebrow. "And there's no real arguing with Tony Stark when he gets an idea in his head."

      "Your friends are weird." Bucky muttered as he clicked around on his computer. He smiled and groaned softly. "For fuck's sake. Not again."

      "What?" Steve asked, cocking his head to the side and shooting his boyfriend a curious look.

      Bucky shot him an unamused look and said, "Natasha sent me another dad joke."

      Steve chuckled and shook his head. "Yeah, you get used to that. Eventually."

      "I'll take dad jokes over vaguely threatening messages that make me worried for my balls." Bucky muttered, lying back down.

      Steve blushed and scratched his cheek. "She...uh...she's kind of protective of me."

      Bucky snorted. "You think?"

      Steve rolled his eyes. "As long as you don't hurt me, you'll be fine. She's not unreasonable."

      "Didn't say she was." Bucky paused then added, "And I'm not plannin' on hurtin' you, Stevie."

      "I know. But shit happens sometimes that's out of our control. I don't plan on hurting you either but it's something that could happen."

      "I guess." Bucky sighed and rolled onto his back again. He stared up at the ceiling and said, "I've been thinking."

      "About?"

      "About the..." Bucky blushed and rubbed a hand over his eyes. "The thing I told you I'd get back to you on."

      Steve raised an eyebrow. "The me dressing up for you thing?"

      "Yeah." Bucky's blush deepened. "That."

      "Okay." Steve watched Bucky carefully.

      "I was thinking maybe...I mean, you probably figured out the piercing thing from how I reacted to seeing your..." Bucky blushed harder. "Your nipple piercing last time we talked."

      Steve smiled. "It's one thing to see your boyfriend blush and stutter a bit when he sees a piercing and another thing to have actual confirmation that he has a thing for your piercings, Buck."

      "Yeah. Yeah, I guess it is." Bucky murmured, fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

      "What would you like to see me in?"

      "A s-..." He trailed off and shrugged. "I don't know. Something pretty?"

      "Something....pretty?" Steve raised an eyebrow.

      Bucky groaned and covered his face. "It's stupid, never mind."

      "Buck, it's not stupid. I mean, I get being embarrassed but you don't have to be." Bucky grunted and Steve sighed. "Buck, I get it. Do you think it was easy for me to admit that I'd like to see you in panties and thigh-high stockings?"

      "No. But I like to dress like that sometimes anyway. I don't know if you..."

      "If I what?"

      "If you'd dress like that for me. And....and wear a skirt. Or dress."

      "For you? Of course I would." Steve smiled slightly. Looked like he hadn't misread his boyfriend after all.

      "Really?" Bucky asked shyly, turning his head to look at Steve.

      "Yeah." Steve chuckled. "I mean, it probably won't be for our first time together but...eventually, yeah. I wouldn't mind dressing up for you." Steve winked at his boyfriend and grinned. Bucky blushed and returned the grin, his happiness almost palpable even through the shitty Skype connection. Steve loved the way Bucky's eyes lit up and the way the corner of his eyes crinkled when he smiled.

      Bucky rolled back on to his side and his smile softened, warming into something more. Something deeper. Steve couldn't see his eyes very well but he imagined that they darkened a little as well. Bucky tucked his arm under his head and murmured, "You're amazing, Steve."

      Steve blushed and rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm not the one serving his country, Buck. You...you're doing important things. Keeping us safe."

      "I'm just a tool, Steve. You....you're something else. You're so...good. You have these ideals that just...I don't know. You're just a better man than me."

      "We've never talk about-...." Steve frowned and trailed off. After a beat, he said, "You've been reading my old Facebook posts."

      Bucky smiled guiltily. "Blame Natasha and Darcy for that one." He looked down. "But that doesn't mean it's not true."

      "I'm not a better man, Bucky." Steve pushed his laptop back a little and folded his arms on the table in front of it. "You have your strengths, I have mine. Doesn't make either one of us better than the other." He smiled slightly and admitted, "Not going to lie, my inner child is really jealous of you."

      "Why?" Bucky asked, frowning and shooting Steve a confused look.

      "Because you're healthy enough to serve." Steve looked down. "I...I always wanted to but...my health made it impossible. So I just sent care packages. And then ended up signing up for the pen pal program."

      Bucky chewed on his lower lip for a moment. "To be honest, I'm kind of glad that...that you can't serve. I wouldn't want you over here, Steve. Not after all the shit I've seen. It...It changes a person. And not always for the better."

      Without looking up, Steve murmured, "I've seen what it's done to Sam and Riley. I mean. They're better than they were three years ago but...Sam's not the same as he was before he signed up. And Riley...." Steve shrugged. "I didn't know Riley before he signed up but I know he's different now than he was before he got shot out of the sky."

      "PTSD can do that to you." Bucky said, his voice soft and tinged with sadness.

      "Yeah." Steve sighed and buried his fingers in Nyota's fur.

      Bucky fell silent for a moment, watching Steve as he started stroking Nyota again. "Steve?"

      "Hmm?" Steve looked up at Bucky and smiled weakly. "Sorry. I got lost in thought."

      "It's fine." Bucky rubbed the back of his neck and began to blush again. "I'd really like it if you were at the airport when I got in. Becca, Ezra, and the kids are going to be there but- but I'd like you to be there too."

      Steve blinked owlishly at his boyfriend. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't thought about the first time he would meet his boyfriend. Bucky showing up at the shop or on his doorstep were the two most likely options for him. Because, really, it never occurred to him that Bucky might _want_ him at the airport. He just figured that it would be a family thing. Then again, he kind of was family now. Bucky was watching him cautiously, like he was waiting, and mentally preparing, for Steve to say no. Something twisted in Steve's gut when he saw that hesitant look in Bucky's eyes. As if he could say no to this man when it came to something like this. Steve smiled slightly and said, "If that's what you want, then I'll be there with bells on."

      The tension melted from Bucky's shoulders as he chuckled. "Bells won't be necessary. The kids are making signs for everyone."

      "Your sister's okay with me being there?"

      "She's the one who suggested it." Bucky raised an eyebrow and shot Steve an unimpressed look. "She also told me that you two decided that I would stay with her for the first couple nights. Which would be all fine and dandy had you two, ya know, talked to me about that first."

      Steve blushed and looked down. "Well, we just thought- I mean, you said that you wanted to spend time with the kids. We thought that would make everyone happy."

      Bucky huffed softly. "I know what I said. I also know that I'd like to spend my first night back in Brooklyn sleeping beside my boyfriend. Which is something that I explained to my sister."

      "She's just worried that you'll get wrapped up in me and forget about her. It's fine, Buck. I don't mind waiting a couple days to be able to sleep beside you."

      "You may not mind but I do." Bucky sighed softly and rubbed his eye. "Steve, darlin', I know you and Becca meant well but it was kind of a dick move from both of you to decide that without even asking what I wanted."

      "I'm sorry, Buck. It made sense for you to stay with her for a couple nights so I didn't argue. I thought it was fair since..." Steve trailed off and looked away from his laptop.

      "Since what?" Bucky's tone wasn't angry; it was more curious than anything.

      "Since I'm gonna be taking you away from them..." Steve muttered, not looking back up.

      Bucky groaned quietly. "Steve, you won't be taking me away from anybody. I mean, yeah, I'll be with you and your friends on the fourth but that's your birthday and Becca and the kids understand. Other than that, I'll be spending the majority of my time either with the kids or alone since you'll have work."

      Steve looked up at Bucky and frowned. "But-"

      "No. Just....Just listen, please." Bucky paused and waited to see if Steve would try to interrupt him. When he didn't, Bucky continued, "I love my sister. Really, I do. But I don't want to sleep alone any more than I absolutely have to while I'm stateside." Bucky sighed softly. "What both of you failed to realize is that I don't even care about getting laid on my first night back stateside, or, hell, getting laid at all during my leave. Honestly, Steve, I just want to hold you in my arms when I fall asleep and wake up next to you in the morning. That's it. That's all that I want."

      "O-okay." Steve blushed and fidgeted with the plug in his ear. Logically, he'd known this. Bucky had told him all of this before but it still caused a familiar warmth to pool in his stomach; one that spread throughout his body and made him feel lightheaded and bubbly. He wondered if hugging Bucky would bring this same sort of warmth or if it'd be more charged and distracting.

      Bucky smiled tiredly. "I already explained all of that to my sister so don't worry about talking it over with her."

      Steve raised an eyebrow and cocked his head to the side. "How'd she take it?"

      "She was a little miffed but I could hear Ezra in the background telling her-" Bucky cleared his throat and adopted a thick Boston accent. " _I told ya that he wouldn't go for that. I told ya that he'd want to sleep with his guy but nope; Rikki always knows best and Ezra don't know jack._ "

      Steve chuckled. "Alright, I get it."

      "Good." Bucky turned away and yawned, loudly.

      Steve smiled. "You should probably get some sleep, a stór*. You've had a long day."

      Bucky looked back at Steve and rubbed the back of his neck, blushing. "Yeah. Just...stay on with me until I fall asleep? Hearing you makes it a little easier."

      Steve blushed and bit back a grin. "I can do that."

      Bucky shot Steve a grateful look and a small smile. "Thank you, scumpule*."

      "It's not a problem, mo ghrá geal*."

      "Te iubesc foarte mult*, Steve." Bucky murmured, his voice rough and 

      "Tá mé i ngrá leat freisin*, Bucky." Steve smiled slightly and watched Bucky hug his pillow to his chest. His boyfriend buried his face in his pillow and, within a few minutes, was snoring softly. Steve chuckled softly as he muted his side of the conversation. Once he was sure the sound was off, he pulled out his cell and called Darcy.

      On the third ring, Darcy picked up. "Hey, Stevo. What's up? You finally free to go shopping?"

      "Not just yet, in a couple hours. I've got to decide on what exactly is it that I want to get." Steve said, watching Bucky cling to his pillow. He smiled. Bucky would probably hate that Steve was seeing this but his boyfriend was cute when he was sleeping.

      Darcy broke his thoughts. "Did you talk to Bucky and figure out if you read him right?"

      Steve snorted. "Oh, I read him right." He rubbed his eye. "Think it'll be too weird if we go to a regular lingerie store?"

      He could almost hear Darcy's eye roll through the phone. "Do you really want the idiots at Lalina Jane or the jerks at La Petite Coquette dealing with you again? Last time ended horribly. And we weren't even shopping for you."

      Steve sighed. He remembered that trip. He'd almost gotten thrown out of both stores because the sales people weren't exactly the friendliest when they found out that a man would be wearing the merchandise once it left the store and he wasn't having any of their bullshit. It wasn't his fault that they assumed he was the one who was going to be wearing it, not Darcy’s actual boyfriend. He rested his head on the back of the couch and asked, "Where else would we head?"

      Darcy was quiet for a moment. "What about Kaavie's?"

      Steve hummed softly. "Heard of it, but I don't think I've been before."

      "Xavin, one of the owners, is Teddy's cousin. Or something. They're related somehow that I didn't really try to get into." Steve could hear Darcy moving around and assumed that she'd just shrugged, even though she knew he wouldn't be able to see it. "Anyway, Xavin run the shop with their wife and their wife's girlfriend. Julie, the girlfriend, came in for a cover-up about a month ago. Which is why I know that Xavin and Teddy are related."

      Steve frowned. They didn't get many cover-ups so it should've been relatively easy to place a face with a name but he was drawing a blank. "Which one was she?"

      Darcy chuckled softly. "Rainbow Brite girl. She came in with a woman who had a _Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds_ sleeve. It was good work. Not ours but decent."

      "Ah, right. Now I remember." Steve remembered that cover-up; it had been one of the toughest that he'd had to do. Fucking rainbows. He glanced at the clock on his wall. "Fuck it, why not go to Kaavie's. Can't be any worse than trying to go to any other shop. I'll see you in an hour?"

      Darcy stifled a yawn. "Give me two. I just rolled out of bed."

      "Really, Darce?" Steve rolled his eyes. "It's almost three in the afternoon."

      "Sue me, I was having awesome morning sex with my boyfriend. You'll understand soon enough."

      "Morning sex is not awesome. Morning sex sucks." Steve muttered.

      "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me know if you still feel that way after you and Sergeant Hottie do the do right after waking up." Darcy snarked.

      Steve groaned. The stupid nicknames were already starting and Bucky wasn't even stateside yet. "Really? Sergeant Hottie?"

      "Well I can't call him Captain Tight-pants. That honor goes to you." If she was still in high school the "duh, dumbass" probably wouldn't've gone unsaid. As it stood, Darcy had matured somewhat and didn't feel the need to state the obvious. Most of the time.

      Steve rolled his eyes. "Go eat. I'll see you in a few."

      "Later, gator."

      "Goodbye, Darce." Steve hung up and set his phone on the coffee table. Today was going to be an exhausting day.     

* * *

_10 April 2014_

_Steve,_

_I've got my expected return date. I'll know closer to it when exactly I'm getting into NYC and what airport I'm flying into. There's always a chance that I could get delayed, but it shouldn't be more than a day or two. I'm looking forward to seeing you there. I know a public meeting probably wasn't what you had in mind for our first meeting but it's important to me that you're there. You're important to me. I want all of the people that I love to be there for me when I step off that plane. It'll be the first time since I enlisted that I'll have a welcome home committee._

_Gabe and Clint keep giving me shit about us still exchanging actual letters instead of just switching over to e-mails. I tried explaining to them why receiving letters mean so much to me but they don't get it. Neither of them grew up with their parents trading letters so it doesn't hold any weight with them. Kate seems to get it. Dernier and Falsworth too. DumDum, Morita, and McDonald don't but they don't seem to care about giving anyone shit. Is it weird that we haven't switched over to e-mail? I mean, it's faster and I'd be able to respond to you more regularly that way. Do you want to? You don't have to keep writing me letters if you'd rather just exchange e-mails._

_I'm glad that Becca told me about the talk you two had before I got your letter. I know that I wouldn't've taken it as well if your letter was the first time I'd heard about it. But, we've got that sorted out and it's no harm, no foul. And, as much as I would want you to tie me to the bed and have your way with me, I know that I'm not going to want to do anything other than eat and curl up in bed with you when I get stateside. Also, it's nice to know that you like both roles equally; I can tuck that info away for later use._

_I think I get what you're saying about the whole mental compatibility does not equal physical compatibility. I mean, I've never experienced it myself but I know that it can happen. I'm curious about your history though. You've mentioned it a few times but that comment about learning it the hard way makes me wonder what happened. Obviously you don't_ have _to tell me but it'd be nice. Truth be told, besides you, the only real serious relationship I've had was Connie and that was way back in high school. Since I enlisted, I've hooked up with a few people but, as you've probably figured out by now, military life doesn't really give you many opportunities to date. You're the only one I've actually been able to see myself having a life with. The only one I've wanted to see having a life with, actually._

_I'm sorry this one's so short. Things've gone a little batshit since we last Skyped. I can't really talk about it but I want you to know that I think about you every day and I can't wait to see you._

_Take care of yourself, punk,_  
_xoxo și toate dragostea mea,  
_ _Bucky_

* * *

_April 18, 2014_

_Bucky,_

_I met Kim and Scott the other day. Becca brought them to Thor's so we could all have lunch. Scott told me all about the posters he's planning to make and asked me for my input since I'm apparently the only artistic adult he knows. Kim kept looking at my tattoos; I don't think I've seen another child so utterly fascinated by them. By the end of lunch, Kim looked at Becca and asked when she could get a "pretty tattoo like Uncle Steve has." Becca just smiled and told her that if she still wanted one when she was 18 then she'd take her to Saoirse to get a tattoo. I almost had a heart attack. Why didn't you tell me that your niece and nephew have been referring to me as Uncle Steve? I mean Becca and I don't really talk about the kids so it's sort of understandable why she wouldn't tell me. You could've mentioned it though._

_A public first meeting was not what I had in mind but, then again, I never really had anything in mind for our first meeting. After Becca and I decided that you'd crash at her place for a couple days, I pictured you showing up on my doorstep on my day off and the two of us proceeding to make out like horny teenagers ~~and fuck like bunnies afterwards.~~ Seriously, I wasn't sure what was going to happen but I knew that I was going to kiss you. I'm still probably going to kiss you; I'll just have to keep it PG. I understand why you want me there and I respect that. I didn't realize it was your first time coming home to a welcoming committee. I guess Scott and I will have to make the signs extra special for you._

_I actually like that we're exchanging physical letters. I mean, once you go back after leave, I'll probably want to go to e-mails so we have a quicker response time but I'll still send you letters. I get why receiving letters is so special to you. I grew up with the same thing, remember? Once you head back after leave, I'll probably just save the letters for really special times where I want to spill my guts and when electronic means of doing that pale in comparison to receiving a hand written letter where I basically barf rainbows and love on the page._

_Becca and I never wanted to upset you, Buck. We just thought that it made sense. But, if you really want to stay at my place from the get go, then I'm not going to argue. I know I'm sure as hell not. I'm looking forward to falling asleep in the arms of my insanely attractive boyfriend and waking up next to him in the morning. As for your question, I've only seriously dated two people, Peggy, who you kind of already know about, and Sam. Yeah, that Sam. It was back in high school and he was the first one that taught me that attraction and mental compatibility doesn't always translate into physical compatibility. I was over it long before we graduated and it doesn't affect our friendship. It all worked out in the end. He found Riley while he was in the Air Force and I found you. I just chalk it up to a learning experience._

_I know I told you that Peggy and I were serious and that we didn't work out but I didn't tell you exactly how serious we were. I'm hesitant to tell you because I don't want you to get upset or think that it changes anything between us because it doesn't. I really don't want you and her to butt heads when you meet either. You're both very important to me and I love you both. She's one of my best friends and you're...you're the man that I love. So, yeah. Please try not to get too upset when I say that I thought I was going to marry her. I was saving for a ring and everything. It was another case of attraction and mental compatibility not equating into physical compatibility but we both realized that. Which, I think, is why we've been able to stay such good friends._

_Other than Sam and Peggy, I've only "dated" (a term I use loosely) two other people. Phil and Peggy's younger sister. I didn't sleep with either of them. Phil and I weren't really compatible and Sharron was nice but she was too young for me. It wasn't a creepy age difference but it was enough of one that I felt uncomfortable with it. Actually, she's the one I ran into at the grocery store; the one who's new boyfriend called me adorable. She's a nice girl and could do a hell of a lot better than Rumlow but we're not really friends so it's not like I can just tell her that._

_I've got to get going. I'm falling asleep while writing this. It's not where I wanted to end it but I can't sleep hunched over my coffee table again._

_Stay safe, jerk,  
_ _xoxo agus gach mo grá,  
_ _Steve_

_~~P.S. I love you~~ _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Side note:  
> Neither Steve nor Bucky know exactly what the other is saying when they say "I love you (very much)/I love you too" in Romanian/Irish. They know the feeling behind the words that the other is saying but they don't know for certain and they're both too scared to actually ask the other what it means. 
> 
> Romanian:  
> scumpule: darling, lit. treasured one (http://little-details.livejournal.com/1785377.html)  
> Te iubesc foarte mult: I love you very much (http://forum.wordreference.com/showthread.php?t=1089408)  
> și toate dragostea mea: and all my love
> 
> Irish:  
> Tá mé i ngrá leat freisin: I love you too, lit. I'm in love with you too (http://www.bitesizeirishgaelic.com/blog/irish-i-love-you/)  
> mo ghrá geal: my true love; lit. bright love (http://www.bitesizeirishgaelic.com/blog/irish-endearments/)  
> a stór: my treasure (http://www.bitesizeirishgaelic.com/blog/irish-endearments/)  
> agus gach mo grá: and all my love


	15. So close, and yet, so far...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve blinked. “Now? That'd be a little difficult, Buck, considering the fact that almost seven thousand miles of land and ocean separate us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my wonderful beta and my awesome roommate for helping me out with this chapter.
> 
> I'm computerless for a while so it may be a while until the next update.

 

> _26 April 2014_
> 
> _Steve,_   
> _I'm sorry I didn't tell you that Scott and Kim had started referring to you as Uncle Steve. I didn't want to scare you. It's a pretty big step and I know we've only been together for a few months. I was going to tell you after I got back since I honestly didn't think Becca would let you meet them until I got home. I guess I should've known that she would though. She always has been a bit contrary. I'm a little glad that you got to meet them and it does sound like you had a decent time with them. And, thank you for helping Scott with the signs. He's really excited about them and I think this is the first time he's been able to do something artistic._
> 
> _As for the upsetting me thing, I get that it wasn't your intention, or Becca's intention, to upset me. And, logically, it does make sense for me to spend a couple days with my sister. But logic keeps me away from you for longer than necessary; which is not good in my book, in case you didn't know. I want to spend as much time with you as possible, Steve. For the first time in a really long time, I'm excited to be coming home. Not only do I get to see my sister for the first time in over a decade but I also get to see you for the first time ever. I feel like I should be more nervous about that. But I'm not. Is that weird? Like, everyone else that I've talked to that's been in an LDR where they met online or something, they were always nervous for the first meeting. Maybe once it gets closer to me actually coming home, I'll be more nervous. But for now, the only feeling I get when I think about coming home to you is excitement._
> 
> _After leave, I think switching over to e-mails and saving letters for the really special things is a good idea. I know that I'll want the faster response time and daily e-mails are a good way to do that. And thank you for the mental image of you barfing rainbows, scumpule. That's just what I needed. And no, that wasn't sarcasm. I've had a shitty day and the mental image was funny._
> 
> _I was kind of surprised when you said that you and Sam dated but, after thinking about it, it makes sense given what I know about you growing up. And don't worry about me and Peggy butting heads. Seriously, there will be no issues between the two of us, I promise. In fact, Peggy and I actually had a discussion over Facebook earlier today before I got your letter. She was very frank about your relationship, both past and present, and wanted to make sure that it wasn't going to be an issue. I know that I can be a jealous little shit sometimes and that I can get a bit possessive but these are your friends, Steve. Yeah, you dated them once upon a time, Peggy far more recently than Sam, but you're with me now and I trust you._
> 
> _I finally worked up the nerve to look up what "agus gach mo grá" meant and I realized that we were signing our letters the same way, just in different languages. It made me wonder what else we've been telling each other behind the language barrier, so I looked up the phrase you've been saying to me at the end of our calls. I mean, I had no idea how to spell it but you've said it enough times for me to know how to pronounce it. I'm kind of glad that Google can do the whole "voice to text" thing for translate on my phone. I'm guessing that the English version of that was what you scratched out at the end of your last letter becauseI couldn't read it. I hope it was, anyway._
> 
> _Since it's easier to tell you this via letter rather than via Skype, "Te iubesc foarte mult" means "I love you very much" in Romanian. "Scumpule," which is what I've been calling you, roughly translates into darling but it literally means treasured one. The other one that I called you, "pisoiul meu," means "my kitten." Before you get mad, it fits, okay? You're small and you're like a really friendly cat that sometimes gets into fights when people piss you off._
> 
> _It's getting late and I've got to get some shuteye. I look forward to your next letter. I love you._
> 
> _Take care of yourself, punk,_   
> _xoxo şi toate dragostea mea,_   
> _Bucky_   
> _P.S. I'm supposed to fly into JFK on the 30th of May. I should get there at around 18:30. Hopefully things won't change between now and then._
> 
> * * *
> 
> _May 2, 2014_
> 
> _Bucky,_   
> _I took Scott and Kim to the art museum today. Well, not really took them, I just tagged along on their field trip. Becca had to back out because of a meeting and Ezra couldn't take off work so they called me and begged me to fill in. The school, surprisingly, didn't seem to care as long as it was an adult and I didn't have any appointments today so I was able to take off. When you get here, we are taking them back so I can actually talk them through things because the guy leading the tour didn't know shit about art history. He had to read off of an index card, Buck; it was really sad. I wanted so badly to just take over but, for once, I didn't do what I thought would be beneficial to the kids. Scott and Kim deserved to have a decent field trip without me arguing with the tour guide and making a scene. My good example didn't stop either of them from correcting the guide about a few things though. They're really smart, Buck. You would've been proud of them._
> 
> _I'm a little nervous about you coming home but I'm mostly excited. Logically, I know you're not going to run away when you see me. I know that you like the way that I look. I know that you love me. But I'm still nervous. This is the first time we're going to see each other and it'll be in front of your family. And Peggy since she'll be at JFK to pick up Gabe. I'm just nervous, in a good way. I know we're going to kiss which kind of adds a little pressure but it's not anything I can't handle. I'm just hoping that I don't get sick before you come home. It would seriously suck to be stuck at home when you come back._
> 
> _By the way, Becca would like for all of us, Peggy and Gabe included, to go out for dinner after we pick you up. She said that she talked to you about it but I just wanted to confirm since last time didn't turn out so well. Also Phil would like me, you, Peggy, and Gabe to meet up with him and Hawk the day after for drinks. I wouldn't mind doing either, it's completely up to you but I am curious about who Hawk is. And I'd kind of like to meet this guy before my birthday. Peggy, Phil, and I have actually been hanging out and talking about our guys coming home since we're all kind of in the same boat. I mean, Peggy and I have you and Gabe but neither of us knows what Hawk's does for a living; apparently he's flying into LaGuardia on the 30th same as you and Gabe. Obviously, we don't have to go if you don't want to; just figured that I would ask._
> 
> _You're taking this a hell of a lot better than Riley did. The whole Sam and I dated thing, that is. Riley didn't speak to me outside of work for almost six months and he and Sam fought a lot during that time. But they worked through it and Riley apologized for being a dickhead about it. I think that the only reason he was angry was because Sam wasn't the one to tell him about our past, I was. I didn't do it on purpose; I honestly thought that Sam had already told him. Riley had just asked what Sam would like for his birthday and I told him about something Sam had wanted since he was in high school. Riley asked how I knew about it since it was something that the average best friend wouldn't've known about and I told him about our history. After that I never made assumptions about who knew what about past relationships because that was one of the most uncomfortable moments of my adult life._
> 
> _Just so you know, Sam was the first one I ever did anything with, but it didn't get very far because he wanted different things than I did. And, I mean, having my mother walk in on me arguing with him about him always treating me like I was made of porcelain whenever we did anything remotely sexual was probably the most embarrassing moment of my teenage years. Do you even know how awkward it is to have the sex talk with your mother, who is a nurse, when she stops every couple minutes to pull out another pamphlet or pauses to try to remember exactly what medical issues I've got that could affect having sex? With your best friend/boyfriend sitting right there beside you at the kitchen table? And your other best friend in the background losing her shit because this is apparently the most hilarious situation ever? Let me tell you, it was fucking traumatizing. But anyway, back to the point. The root of the physical incompatibility that I ran into with Sam and Peggy stems from that argument that I had with Sam that day. Despite how much they loved me, they couldn't stop treating me like I was going to break if they so much as kissed me too hard. I'm scared that's one of the things that's going to happen with us._
> 
> _I wanted to get offended by the cat thing, but Natasha and Darcy told me I was being an idiot because, according to them, I am very much a cat. Which is apparently why I get along with Monty and Ny so well. And, I did write the English version in the post script. I was just too nervous to let it stand though. But seeing as you feel the same, my nerves seem a little silly. Just so you know, “mo ghrá geal,” which is one of the things I've been calling you, translates into “my true love” and it literally means “bright love.” “A stór,” the other nickname I gave you, means “my treasure.”_
> 
> _I've got an early morning tomorrow. I can't wait to see you at the end of the month. I love you, Buck._
> 
> _Stay safe, jerk,_   
> _xoxo agus gach mo grá,_   
> _Steve_   
> _P.S. I've got part of your other gift finished. The one Darcy's helping me with. I'm going to need to get a few more things but I'm sure you're going to like this. ;)_
> 
> * * *
> 
> _10 May 2014_
> 
> _Scumpule,_   
> _I'm glad that you're having a good time with the twins. Scott and Kim were singing your praises when I spoke to them this morning. Kim is now obsessed with tattoos and has researched how to make her own temporary ones. Becca won't let her put any on her skin while school's still in session though. Scott thinks you're pretty much the second best thing since sliced bread. I'm the first thing apparently. Becca says that if we don't take them to the art museum to let you give them the tour then we're terrible uncles and our cool cards are being revoked. Not going to lie, I was kind of jealous that you're getting to spend so much time with them. But then I remembered that I'm coming home in a few weeks and I'll get to spend as much time with them as I want._
> 
> _Now that it's getting a little closer, I can feel the butterflies starting whenever I think about coming home. It's a good sort of nervous but I'm still nervous. God, I just want you in my arms. Becca did ask about dinner and I told her that it was fine with me. Gabe's kind of excited to meet everyone, actually. I would've invited Clint along as well but he's flying into a different airport and heading to his boyfriend's house for the night. You could probably meet him a week after we get there. He's going to want to spend a lot of time with Boss before he even thinks about interacting with other people. And, I'd love to have drinks with Phil and Hawk. Would it just be the four of us? Like a double date or something? Maybe we could hang out with your friends as couples so I don't have to meet everyone all at once on your birthday._ _I know I lean more towards the extrovert side of the spectrum but even I know that meeting like twenty new people at once is way too much for me to handle. Especially when it's all people that are important to you._
> 
> _I'm curious about what it was you knew about what Sam wanted but I really don't think I want the answer to that question. I'm sorry that Riley acted like that, but I'm glad that it worked out in the end. And I'm glad that I found out about your past relationships from you instead of from someone else. I think I would've been pretty peeved if I'd found out from someone else. Not as peeved as Riley was but still. And, Steve, I know you're not made of porcelain. You're a strong guy and you'll be able to take some manhandling on my part._
> 
> _I really hate to cut this short but I've got to get some sleep. I've been up for almost 72 hours and I'm about to faceplant into my desk. I love you and I can't wait to see you in a few weeks._
> 
> _Take care of yourself, punk,_   
> _xoxo şi toate dragostea mea,_   
> _Bucky_   
> _P.S. I haven't stopped listening to the playlist you sent me during my downtime since I got it. Thank you so much for that. It makes me feel like you're here with me; especially with the random sections of talking you have on it where you were arguing with Loki. =P I can't wait to see what the second half of the surprise is._
> 
> * * *
> 
> _May 19, 2014_
> 
> _A stór,_   
> _You probably already know this but Darcy has demanded that she be allowed to film our first meeting and Becca's agreed with her. She and Jane won't be joining us for dinner but they will be at the airport to film our first meeting and Peggy and Gabe's reunion (can it even be called that? I don't want to call it a first meeting since they've already met but you get what I mean). I can hardly believe that in less than a fortnight, you'll be here. I just. Holy shit. I've been cleaning the apartment and reorganizing and Natasha keeps telling me to calm down, that you won't care if the apartment's a bit messy, but I can't stop. I just want things to be perfect. Which, yeah, I know that perfect isn't attainable but it helps calm me down. I don't know why but it works even better than drawing most of the time. Monty and Ny just looked at me funny when I rearranged the dvd's yesterday._   
> _I'm planning on clearing out half of my closet and half of my dresser for you so you'll have somewhere to put your clothes and you won't have to live out of a suitcase. Becca's going to drop off the rest of the clothes you have in storage in a few days. It's going to be so weird sharing a bed with someone. I won't be able to just sprawl out like I normally do. I mean, I probably could but then you'd have me sprawled on top of you and I'm boney as fuck so I doubt that'd be very comfortable for you. Which side do you usually sleep on? Is the fact that I snore going to be an issue? Fuck, why didn't I think of these things before now?_
> 
> _Phil said that he'd text me with the details the morning after so we can meet up with him and Hawk. I think double dates with my friends would be a good way to meet up with them before you get thrown into the deep end on my birthday. Darcy wants to have us over for dinner one night and Tony has a fundraiser thing that he's demanding that I be at since I painted a few things for the silent auction. Natasha and Sam will likely want to meet up with you so that they can give you the shovel talk in person. And, of course, I've got to get your tattoo done. Darcy's already scheduled your appointments for a consult and the actual tattooing. I have the radio sketched out; I just need to talk to you about a color scheme. And you need to get the letter out of storage_
> 
> _I would love to take the twins to an art museum with you. And I know about Kim's most recent obsession with tattoos. She's asked me to draw her something pretty so she can make it into a temporary one. Not sure what I'm going to make her but I'll think of something. I'm heading over to Becca's on Friday to help Scott start making the posters. Apparently, he's got pretty big plans for them. I hear there'll be glitter. And puff paint. And ribbons. He even managed to convince Peggy to let him make her a sign for Gabe. I'm not exactly sure how that one happened. One minute, Peggy and I were talking with Becca to figure out logistics, the next Scott was charming Peggy and managed to convince her to let him make a sign for her. He could probably sell ice to a penguin, to be honest. So yes, there will be glitter and puff paint and ribbons on these signs. I hope you're prepared for this._
> 
> _I'm falling asleep and I've got work in the morning. I love you, Buck. I can't wait to see you._
> 
> _Stay safe, jerk,_   
> _xoxo agus gach mo grá,_   
> _Steve_   
> _P.S. I'm glad that you like the playlist. I know that most of the songs are oldies and that's not usually your style but I thought they fit the best._
> 
> * * *

      The late afternoon sun filtered into Steve's bedroom through the half-closed curtains. His laptop sat by the headboard, open and softly playing one of the playlists Bucky had made him. Steve sighed heavily and flopped face first onto his bed. He'd finally finished clearing out half of his closet for Bucky; a trash bag full of clothes meant for donation sat beside the door. Steve adjusted himself slightly and glanced around his room. His underwear drawer was half opened and one of the chemises that he'd bought with Darcy hung haphazardly over the side. He blushed as he remembered that trip to Kaavie's. Julie, Rainbow Brite tattoo girl, had squealed when he'd admitted that they were shopping for him then promptly dragged him over to the underwear section while Darcy shifted through the racks of nightgowns with the woman with the Lucy in the sky with diamonds tattoo, whose name turned out to be Karolina. That day he learned what Jane meant when she said she hated playing Barbie doll whenever she went shopping with Darcy. If he never had to try on another nightgown or dress, it would be too soon.

     Alex Turner's crooning was cut off by the Skype incoming call sound. Steve turned his head and smiled slightly when he saw that it was Bucky. He clicked the accept call button and waited for the call to connect. When Bucky's face finally filled the screen, he rolled on to his side and said, "Hey there, soldier."

     Bucky chuckled and ran a hand through his hair. “Hey, darlin'. I see you're rocking the James Dean haircut again.”

     Steve smiled lazily. “I remember that you said that you liked it. How's it going?”

     “It's going. Just got finished reading your last letter and figured I'd give you a call. There's no real point in writing a response since I'll get there before the letter does.” Bucky grinned and scratched his stomach, causing his shirt to ride up slightly.

     Steve glanced at the strip of skin. No, now was not the time to get distracted by his boyfriend's attractiveness. He shook his head and looked back up at Bucky's face. “Anything you'd like to say about the letter?”

     Bucky smirked slightly and raised an eyebrow as though he knew what Steve had been trying not to think about. He shrugged and said, “I'm fine with Darcy filming our first meeting. It's probably a good idea to get it on camera to have for posterity.”

      Steve chuckled softly. “I'd figured I'd just let you know. Anything else?"

     “Thank you for clearing out space for my shit. I know that it can be stressful. Especially since I'm not going to be there for very long.” Bucky rubbed the back of his neck and shot Steve a shy smile.

     “It's fine, Buck. I don't mind. It gives me something to do that doesn't involve driving my friends bonkers.” Steve grinned and settled into his bed. “I'm really excited for you to get here.”

     Bucky shot him a concerned look. “Is it okay that you'll be missing work to pick me up? I didn't realize that having you there when I came in would mean that you had to take off work. If I could've swung it, I would've come in today but…it is Memorial Day and a lot of soldiers are coming home, so trying to book a decent flight was like trying to find a silver needle in a stack of aluminum needles.”

     Steve waved it off. “It's okay, Bucky. Everything's been taken care of. Peter's covering Darcy's shift and I'm trusting Miles to do the consults that I'm going to have to miss on Friday evening. Peggy's got her apprentice doing the same thing. Riley, Sam, and Nick are going to be the only ones there that can actually tattoo anybody, which may cause a backup but I know they can handle it.”

     “That's good. I'm actually starting to get really nervous. In a good way, obviously. But yeah. Butterflies.” Bucky blushed lightly and looked down.

      “So am I, Buck. Natasha's counting down the days until I stop acting like an over-caffeinated cat on crack.” Steve chuckled and glanced up when his door opened. Darcy walked in with a few shopping bags and Steve raised an eyebrow at her. He glanced back at his laptop and muted his side of the conversation. Turning back to Darcy, he asked, “What did you do?”

     She shrugged and said, “I went back to Kaavie's and picked up some more things that I liked on you but you refused to buy.”

     Steve sighed. “You bought the red thing, didn't you?”

     “And the dark blue one, the white lacy thing, and a couple others that you will probably throw a pillow at me for since they were hella expensive.” Darcy said, striding across the room towards Steve's dresser.

     Steve rolled his eyes. “You do realize I'm not going to wear half of those on a daily basis right? The panties, maybe. If they're comfortable. But the other stuff is just to wear for Bucky.”

     Darcy shot him an unamused look as she put the clothes away in Steve's dresser. “I wouldn't've gotten you uncomfortable panties, Steve.”

     “Yeah, yeah, I know. Did you at least wash them?”

     “Yes. With the fragrance free hypoallergenic stuff because I forgot what brand of detergent you use.” Darcy said, shutting the drawer. She walked over and sat down on the bed beside Steve. She glanced at his laptop and raised an eyebrow. Turning to Steve, she said, “You muted this side, right?”

     “Yes, as soon as you walked in.”

     Bucky huffed in annoyance. “You know, it's kind of rude to mute a Skype call when the other person is still awake.”

     Steve unmuted the call. “Sorry, Buck. We were talking about your surprise.”

     “Oh, well in that case. Mute and carry on.” Bucky grinned brightly and Darcy chuckled.

     “We're done, right, Darce?” Steve shot her a pleading look.

     Darcy rolled her eyes and said, “Yes, we're done. I'll leave you with Sergeant Hottie. Loki's waiting for me downstairs anyway.”

     Steve smiled slightly. “Goodbye, Darce.”

     Darcy hummed softly and pecked Steve on the cheek. She stood and straightened her shirt. “I'll see you at work tomorrow.” She glanced at Bucky. “And I'll see you on Friday.”

     “Looking forward to it.” Bucky grinned and waved. Darcy smiled and waved back before heading back out the door. Steve waited until he heard the front door close before he flopped back on his bed and sighed. Bucky chuckled and raised an eyebrow. “Sergeant Hottie?”

     “Yeah. She likes to give silly nicknames.” Steve sighed and looked over at Bucky with a small smile. “You get used to it.”

     “I'm sure that I will.” Bucky smiled shyly. “I can't wait to see you, Stevie.”

     “Just a few more days, Buck.” Steve closed his eyes and hummed softly. “Just a few more days and then you'll be here.”

     “And I'll be able to hold you and kiss you.” Bucky paused then continued, softer than before. “And tell you how much I love you in person. Show you how much I love you.”

     Steve's heart skipped a beat. His eyes fluttered open and he looked over at Bucky. His boyfriend was blushing and looking down at his keyboard. Warmth pooled in his stomach as he watched Bucky fidget slightly. Steve cleared his throat. “I'm looking forward to that one too.”

     Bucky looked up and his smile widened, brightening his entire face. Steve blushed and bit his lip to keep from smiling like a loon. Bucky chuckled and said, “I think the thing I'm looking forward to the most is waking up with you in my arms.” Bucky paused and seemed to consider something. He shrugged and added, “Or in your arms if you want to be big spoon. I'm not that picky.”

     Steve laughed and shook his head. “Okay, no. Not going to happen unless you really have the urge to be little spoon.”

     “What's wrong with being big spoon?” Bucky asked curiously.

     “Nothing, if that's what you like. Though, with us, I'd be more like a jetpack than a big spoon.” Steve tucked his hands behind his head and raised an eyebrow. “I may hate always being regaled to being catcher but I fucking love being little spoon.”

      Bucky chuckled. “And if I need to just have you hold me for a bit?”

      Steve shrugged. “Then you can rest your head on my chest and let me run my fingers through your hair. I don't mind being big spoon if you need me to be. I just prefer little spoon.”

     Bucky cocked his head to the side. “Why?”

     “Because I get cold a lot. Poor circulation and all that jazz.” Steve shrugged. “Being little spoon means that I have someone's arms wrapped around me and that means that I get to stay warm even if it's chilly.”

     Bucky hummed softly and nodded. They lapsed into a comfortable silence, just watching each other and enjoying being with each other. No rush to fill the silence with meaningless chatter. Just a quiet moment between the two of them that made Steve smile and wonder what he'd done to deserve Bucky. About ten minutes had passed and Steve had just started to contemplate taking a nap when Bucky asked, “Do you want to…God this sounds cheesy but do you want to make love?”

     Steve blinked. “Now? That'd be a little difficult, Buck, considering the fact that almost seven thousand miles of land and ocean separate us.”

     Bucky blushed and shook his head. “No, not now. I mean. I meant the first night I get home. I know you said you wanted to take it slow but I…I just wanted to double check.”

      “I…I don't know.” Steve looked down at his duvet. “I don't want to rush anything but I…I really want you. The…I don't know. I guess you could call it an ache. Whatever you call it, it's only gotten stronger now that I know you're going to be here soon.”

     “It was just a thought, darlin'. We don't have to do anything and I'm not expecting us to do anything. It's just that I've been thinking a lot about our first night together.”

     “So have I.” Steve admitted with a blush. He scratched his cheek and asked, “What do you picture?”

     Bucky shrugged. “There're a couple scenarios that go through my head. I'm not sure which one I actually want to happen though.” He snorted softly. “I mean, I know which one is most likely to happen but that doesn't stop my brain from thinking about other scenarios.”

     Steve smiled slightly. “Which one do you think is most likely?”

     Bucky huffed out a laugh. “Me being too exhausted to do anything other than pull you into my arms and crash. Travelling from Afghanistan to JFK is going to be very long and a pain in the ass. I have like four change overs.”

     Steve chuckled. “I'm sorry, a stór.” Steve shifted slightly on the bed and looked at Bucky with a small smile. “Just out of curiosity…which one do you think about most often?”

     Bucky looked down and got quiet for a moment, thinking over his response. After a moment, he said, “I think about kissing you until you're flushed a pretty shade of red and out of breath. Not to the point that you'll need your inhaler but just enough to make your head spin. I think about tracing your tattoos with my mouth and teasing you until you're putty in my hands. I think about worshiping your body the way it deserves to be.”

     Steve groaned softly and buried his face in his pillow. Now was not the time to be getting boners. But he had asked. So it was kind of his own fault. Lifting his head, he looked over at Bucky and saw his boyfriend watching him curiously. Steve blushed and cleared his throat. “I'm sorry. My body did a thing.”

     Bucky chuckled softly. “It's alright, darlin'.”

     Steve's blush deepened. “I…I do like the sound of that though. I just…I'm scared.”

     “Of what, scumpule?”

     “Of moving too fast.” Steve murmured, rubbing the back of his neck.

     Bucky nodded. “Then we won't do anything on my first night back and we'll take it slow. I'd rather we wait than do something that you're not 100% sure about.”

     Steve frowned. “But I know that I want to-“

     Bucky held up a hand. “But you're not sure about the timing. Steve, scumpule, waiting isn't going to make me want to leave.” Bucky smiled kindly. “I know it's probably a bit early to be saying this but I need you to know that I'm in this for the long haul. Waiting a bit to move to a more physical relationship isn't going to scare me away.”

     Steve's blush, which had been starting to recede, flared up again. “I…I am too, Buck. In it for the long haul that is.”

     Bucky grinned and shifted around so that he was lying down. “That's good. I'd hate to have to break it to Scott and Kim that they can't call you Uncle Steve anymore.”

     “Speaking of the twins.” Steve smiled. “Scott and I finished the signs yesterday.”

     “Oh lord. Do I even want to know what they say?”

     Steve chuckled. “I can tell you what the kids' signs say if you'd like.”

     “Go for it.” Bucky grinned.

     “Move it or lose it, we're here to pick up our uncle.”

     “And my sister's sign?”

     “I've waited ten years for this, get over here and give me a hug you big lug.”

     Bucky snorted and shook his head. After a moment, he cocked his head and asked, “What about yours?”

     Steve raised an eyebrow and smirked. “You'll see when you get here.”

     Bucky chuckled. “You really gonna be like that?”

     “Yep. Gotta keep some mystery for when you come home.” Steve shrugged and bit back a smile.

     Bucky bit his bottom lip to hide a smile and shook his head. “You're a fucking punk.”

     “Yeah, I am…Jerk.” Steve looked down then peeked up at Bucky through his eyelashes. “But you love me.”

     Bucky took a deep breath and his smile softened. “Yeah. Yeah, I do. Kind of a lot.”

     Steve hugged his pillow and hid his smile in it. Warmth spread throughout his body and, after a moment, he looked over at his boyfriend and said, “I love you too, Buck.”

     Bucky shot Steve a goofy grin. “So. What would you like to talk about?”

     “I don't know. I'm honestly at a loss for words right now.”

     “Do I get to know what my surprise is?”

     “Nope. Just know that you won't get to find out until a few weeks after you get home.”

     Bucky pouted slightly. “Fine. I'll wait patiently because I know that whatever it is, it'll be awesome and I don't want to rush you.”

     “Good.” Steve yawned and shook his head.

     “Getting sleepy, pisoiul meu?”

     “A little.” Steve smiled tiredly and added, “I'd go to sleep but I want to keep talking to you.”

     “How about I stay on the line and we can talk about stupid shit until you fall asleep. Sound like a good plan to you?”

     “Sounds like an amazing plan.” Steve murmured, nuzzling his pillow. Bucky chuckled and launched into a story about him and Becca as children. Steve was only half-listening; he was paying more attention to the sound of Bucky's voice than the actual words that his boyfriend was saying. It didn't take long for him to drop off to sleep.


	16. Coming Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Forget the knight in shining armor, I'll keep my soldier in desert camo. Welcome home, Staff Sergeant Barnes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day, y'all. Enjoy the tooth-rotting fluff.

    Friday afternoon, Steve stood outside of his apartment complex, waiting for Becca to come pick him up with Ezra and the twins. He shifted from foot to foot, glanced up and down his street, then checked his watch and chewed on his lip. If they didn't show up soon he was going to run upstairs and grab his leathers, carpooling be damned. He was already nervous enough about this and all he wanted was to just get to the airport. Hell, he'd already changed his outfit three times while Skyping with Natasha that morning. He would've tried on more had she not told him that if he changed again she would drive over there and smack him upside the head. As it were, he ended up wearing a pair of dark-wash boot cut jeans, a light blue button up, and a dark brown leather jacket.

     Just as he was about to turn around and head inside, Becca pulled up to the curb. Steve shot her a smile before he opened the door and climbed into the back of the minivan with Darcy. After shutting the door, Scott shifted around in his seat and said, "Sorry we're late, Mom had a work call she needed to deal with."

    Becca rolled her eyes and pulled out onto the road. "I swear I cannot leave those idiots alone for more than ten minutes. I'm surprised most of them managed to graduate university."

    Steve chuckled and buckled himself in. "It's alright."

    Darcy turned her camcorder on and turned towards Steve with a wicked grin. "How are you doing, Steve?"

    Steve glanced at her with an unamused look. "How do you think I'm doing?"

    Darcy smirked. "Ooo, you only get testy when you're nervous."

    Steve sniffed and raised an eyebrow. "I would say something but there are little ones present."

    Kim smiled. "You look really nice, Uncle Steve."

    Turning towards her, Steve chuckled and ran his fingers through his hair. "Thank you, Kim." He glanced at her outfit and smiled gently. "Your dress is very pretty."

    She beamed. "Thank you. Mommy got it for me yesterday since today is extra special."

    Scott bounced in his seat, trying to contain his excitement for the most part. "Mom says we're going to DeStefano’s tonight for dinner."

    Steve grinned. "That should be nice. How was school?"

    Scott and Kim shared a look, silent but deep, then launched into the story of how everyone's recess privileges were revoked for the week because of one of their classmates. Steve allowed their voices to wash over him and just smiled as they told their story. He knew that he should’ve been paying closer attention but the twins didn’t seem to notice that he was distracted. This was a huge day for him and he just couldn’t seem to consentrate. Bucky was coming in. He’d finally get to see his boyfriend. Fucking hell, this day could not go fast enough.

    It felt like hours before Becca pulled in to the short term parking of JFK but, according to his watch, it had only been 45 minutes. Steve waited until everyone else had filed out of the minivan before he climbed out. He straightened his jacket as Becca dug the signs out of the back of the minivan. She handed them out and smiled at Steve when she handed his over. He tried to return her smile, but his nerves made it come off as more of a grimace, and glanced down at his sign. What surprised him the most was that Scott hadn’t added any extra glitter or other decorations.

    Ezra clapped his hands and said, “Alright, Scott, Kim, you know the drill. Grab an adult’s hand and let’s get going.”

    Kim reached up and grasped Steve’s hand. Steve smiled down at her and squeezed her hand once. She giggled and pulled him along after her parents. Steve glanced around and smiled when he saw that Scott was holding on to Darcy’s hand and dragging her along as well. Once inside the terminal, in the baggage claim area, they met up with Peggy and Jane, who had been there for a while already. Peggy smiled and pulled Steve into a hug. Pulling back, she raised an eyebrow and asked, "You ready to meet Bucky?"

     Steve forced a smile, tense and unable to hide it. "As I'll ever be."

    Peggy shot him a sweet smile and ran her fingers through his hair to fix it for him. "Everything'll be fine, sweetie. You’ve got nothing to worry about."

    Steve nodded, glancing away from her, and toyed with his sign. Of course Peggy was right. He shouldn't be this nervous. It was just Bucky. The same Bucky who had assured him, multiple times, that he loved him for who he was, not what he looked like.

    After a few minutes, Becca and Ezra struck up a conversation with Peggy while Darcy interviewed the twins for the video. Twenty minutes passed and the assigned time for Bucky's arrival came and went. Steve knew, rationally, that delays were to be expected but it didn't make him any less nervous when it started closing in on an hour late. Becca had called the airline and they had assured her that the flight would land soon, which calmed him a little. He barely noticed Darcy filming him as he stared towards the terminal exit.

    Steve looked down to check his watch and his phone vibrated in his pocket. He dug it out and frowned when he didn't recognize the number. After unlocking it, he opened the message and grinned. Bucky had sent him a selfie of himself walking through the terminal with the message "I hope you're ready for me, punk. I'm through customs and headed your way."

    Glancing up, he said, "Buck's off the plane, through customs, and headed our way."

   Becca nodded and corralled the kids and Darcy into their set area. Everyone held up their signs and glanced around at the stream of people entering the baggage claim area. The butterflies in Steve's stomach intensified as each person came through. He felt like he was going to puke if Bucky didn't walk through the entranceway soon. God, he didn't expect to be this nervous. Was it always this nerve-wracking? Why didn't Peggy look just as nervous as he knew he did?

    The first one they saw was Gabe. Peggy walked towards him and Gabe stated jogging towards her when he spotted her. Steve smiled as Gabe swept Peggy up in a bear hug. He chuckled when she squeaked as Gabe lifted her off of her feet. He glanced back at the crowd and spotted Bucky as he entered the baggage claim area. Bucky caught his gaze and grinned sunnily as he headed towards them. Steve's heart stuttered in his chest at Bucky's smile. Fucking hell, that smile was even more gorgeous in person.

    The twins shrieked and, dropping their carefully crafted signs, bolted towards Bucky, shouting "Uncle Bucky, Uncle Bucky" the entire way. Steve laughed as Bucky dropped to his knees and gathered them into his arms. Bucky swayed a little and buried his face in their shoulders. Even to the passersby, it was obvious how much he was enjoying the simple act of hugging his niece and nephew.

    After a moment, he let them go and stood. He adjusted his bag and took their hands, allowing them to lead him back towards the group. Steve hung back with Ezra as Becca moved forward to hug her brother. Chuckling, Bucky dropped his bag at his feet and wrapped her up in a hug. Scott and Kim picked up their signs and waited until their uncle had let go of their mother. Bucky looked down and grinned when they held them up to show him. Crouching down, he ruffled their hair and said, “These are amazing, guys.”

    Steve was vaguely aware that Darcy had shifted the camera away from the siblings and the twins to focus on him but he didn't pay her any mind. He was too focused on watching his boyfriend. Bucky glanced at him every couple of seconds while Becca and the twins fawned over him.

    Ezra snorted and said, "Rikki, Scott, Kimmy, let the poor man hug his boyfriend. He's more distracted than-"

    "Don't you finish that sentence, Ezra." Becca warned, shooting her husband a mild glare.

    Kim squeaked and whipped around to look at Steve. “I’m sorry Uncle Steve!” She tugged her brother’s arm and pulled him over towards their father. Becca shot Steve an apologetic smile and moved to join her family.

    Steve returned her smile with a small one of his own before he turned his attention to Bucky. Bucky glanced at the sign in Steve's hands and laughed, bright and infectious. Steve grinned, with far more confidence than before, and shrugged. "It does fit."

    Bucky raised an eyebrow and read, " _Forget the knight in shining armor, I'll keep my soldier in desert camo. Welcome home, Staff Sergeant Barnes_." He glanced up at Steve and, stepping forward, pulled him into a hug.

    Steve wrapped his arms around Bucky’s neck and buried his face in his shoulder, inhaling deeply. He was hit with the scent of Irish spring body wash. Fresh and crisp, despite the fact that Bucky had spent most of the day cooped up in an airplane. Underneath that was something warm and comforting, almost like the whiskey and tobacco scent his father had carried. It smelt like home.

    Bucky rubbed his back and murmured, “I’m glad to be home, punk.”

    Steve chuckled, low and deep, and ran his fingers through Bucky’s short-cropped hair. He nuzzled Bucky’s jaw and muttered, “I almost can’t believe that you’re here.”

    Bucky rested his forehead against Steve’s temple. “I’m here, Stevie. Right here.”

    Steve hummed in response and closed his eyes as Bucky’s lips brushed against his cheek. He leaned into his boyfriend’s touch and murmured, “You’re going to spoil me rotten if you keep hugging me.”

    Bucky chuckled and kissed along Steve’s jaw. “You say that as if it were a bad thing, scumuple.”

    Steve pulled away just enough so that he could look up at Bucky with a small smile. He raised an eyebrow and asked, "Are you going to keep kissing my jaw or are you going to actually kiss me?" He let go of Bucky's hair and smoothed his hand down the front if his boyfriend's uniform. "Because I've waited like 7 months for a kiss, so I'd appreciate it more than I can tell you if we could do that."

    Bucky laughed and rested his forehead against Steve's. "As you wish, darlin." He tilted his head to the side and slotted his lips against Steve's, letting his eyes slip shut.

    Steve's eyes fluttered shut as a familiar warmth pooled in his stomach. Cupping his boyfriend's jaw, he deepened the kiss and focused on the feel of Bucky's desert chapped lips against his own. He stifled a moan when Bucky's hands drifted to his waist and pulled him even closer. Steve had a dim awareness of Darcy's wolf whistle and the twins' shouts of glee but he was too focused on Bucky to care.

    Peggy’s voice cut through the haze. “You know….we’ll miss our reservation if you two don’t hurry up.”

    Blushing, Steve pulled away and looked over at his friend and coworker, who was looking at him with an amused expression. He shifted away from Bucky and said, “Sorry, Peggy.”

    She smiled, warm and kind. “It’s alright, Steve. I just figured your soldier might be a bit hungry. I know mine is.”

    Gabe snorted. “That’s the truth. Airplane food sucks and airport food is so overpriced that you'd have to sell a kidney to get a decent meal.”

    Bucky shifted away long enough to shoulder his bag. He wrapped his free arm around Steve’s shoulders. “Ain’t that the truth.” He shot his sister a curious look. “Where are we eating anyway?”

    Becca grinned. “DeStefano’s. I figured you’d appreciate a good steak.”

    Bucky inhaled sharply. “I know that I don’t have that much cash on me and I doubt Gabe has that much-”

    Steve squeezed Bucky’s waist. “Calm down, Buck. Your sister and Ezra are paying for dinner tonight.”

    Peggy smiled coyly. “Trust us, we already tried arguing with them to let me and Steve chip in but it was like arguing with a brick wall.”

    Bucky glanced at his sister, unsure. “If you’re sure.”

    Becca waved him off. “Of course I’m sure. You’re my brother. Now, let’s get going.”

    As they walked out of the baggage claim area, Steve looked up to see Bucky still giving his sister an unsure look. He squeezed Bucky’s waist and murmured, “She just wants to treat you to something nice, Buck. No need to look like she’s going to feed you poison.”

    Bucky looked down at him and shot him a sheepish smile. “I know, Stevie. It’s just…” He frowned, searching for the right word.

    Steve raised an eyebrow. “You’re not used to it. Yet.”

    “Yeah.” Bucky nodded. “But, I’ll get over it.” He glanced down at his uniform. “I just hope the restaurant doesn’t mind that Gabe and I will be in our fatigues.”

    Steve snorted. “I doubt they’ll care much, Buck. I’ve seen people go in there wearing jeans and tee-shirts. Besides, you’re a vet, they can’t bitch at you too much.”

    Bucky chuckled and nodded. “Yeah. I guess you’re right.”

    Peggy glanced over her shoulder. “Everything’ll be fine, Barnes. If anyone gives either of you shit, they’ll have to deal with me, Steve, your sister, and the twins.”

    Bucky shot her a surprised look. “I didn’t think you cared for me much.”

    Peggy raised an eyebrow. “That remains to be seen. But you’re Gabe’s friend and Steve’s boyfriend. My personal reservations have no bearing on the fact that I will defend you if someone’s being a wanker.”

    Kim looked up at Peggy, curiosity written all over her face. “Miss Peggy, what’s a wanker?”

    Becca shot Peggy an amused but warning look and Peggy sighed softly and looked down at Kim. “A wanker is what some adults call mean people who make fun of or insult our loved ones or people that our loved ones care for. Little children shouldn’t repeat it.”

    Scott looked over at his sister, unamused by her antics. “You know that wanker means the same thing as dou-” Scott glanced at his mother, who raised an eyebrow at him. “...meanie-head. I was going to say meanie-head.” He looked back at his sister. “You just wanted to get away with saying a bad word without Mom getting mad at you or having to put a quarter in the swear-jar when we get home.”

    Kim stuck her tongue out at her brother. “You’re just mad that you didn’t think of it first.”

    Gabe looked between the two in astonishment. “How on Earth do you two know so many curse words?”

    They shared a look and then looked over at Gabe. “Mom.”

    Ezra snorted as Becca rolled her eyes and opened the trunk of the minivan. “I sometimes forget that these two have ears like dogs and will pick up anything I say, even if I’m two rooms away with the door shut.” Ezra shared a skeptical look with Bucky as he took his bag and put it in the trunk. Bucky and Steve stepped back to let the twins pack away the signs. Steve glanced around and saw Jane and Darcy heading down the aisle with their heads bent together. He raised an eyebrow and wondered just what they’d caught on camera. Shaking it off, he turned in time to see Peggy murmur something to Becca before she took Gabe’s hand and continued down the aisle towards her own car. He wondered what she had said but brushed it off in favor of climbing into the back seat of the minivan with his boyfriend.

    Bucky settled into the seat beside the passenger’s side window. He tried to bite back a smile when Steve sat in the middle seat despite having the option to sit beside the driver’s side window. He made sure his seatbelt was secure before slouching down and resting his arm behind Steve’s head. Steve looked over at him out of the corner of his eye and shifted just enough so that he had tucked himself into Bucky’s side. Bucky smiled and glanced at his family. Ezra and Becca were too busy trying to get out of the parking lot to pay any attention to them. The twins were conversing in their own made up language and were so caught up in it that they wouldn’t notice anything short of a puppy landing in their laps. Bucky turned his attention back to Steve and smiled when he found his boyfriend resting his head against his arm and looking up at him with a small smile. He rested his forehead against Steve’s and murmured, “Can I help you with something, pisoiul meu?”

    Steve chuckled and pressed a quick, chaste kiss against the corner of Bucky’s mouth. He bumped their noses together and muttered, “Nope. I’m just enjoying being near you.”

    “So am I.” He ran his fingers through Steve’s hair. He glanced down, taking in his boyfriend’s body. “I see you managed to put some weight back on.”

    Steve nodded and leaned into his boyfriend’s touch, much like Nyota and Monty leaned into his touch. If he could have, he was certain that he would have started purring as Bucky raked his fingers through his hair. He looked up at Bucky and smirked playfully. “I told you that I would.”

    Bucky smiled, warm and open, and kissed Steve’s cheek. “Yes. Yes, you did.” He nuzzled his boyfriend’s jaw and murmured, “You look amazing, Stevie.”

    Steve looked down to try to hide his blush. “Natasha helped. Sort of. I’m pretty sure there’s still a bunch of clothes thrown around my room right now.”

    Bucky chuckled and kissed Steve’s temple. “She did good. Your shirt brings out your eyes and your jeans make your ass look amazing.”

    Steve tilted his head to the side and shot his boyfriend a shy smile. “You look good in your fatigues.”

    Bucky raised an eyebrow and smiled cockily. “You should see me in my dress uniform.”

    “I do love a man in uniform.” Steve murmured, resting his hand on Bucky’s thigh.

    Bucky snorted and leaned over to kiss along Steve’s neck and jaw. "And I love you."

    Steve bit his lip to stifle a moan and glanced towards the twins. Scott and Kim were talking in rapid-fire sentences that he couldn’t discern the meaning of. Although, that was probably their intent in creating their own language. He squeezed Bucky’s thigh and murmured, “Behave, Buck.” He glanced at Bucky out of the corner of his eye and added, “At least until we get back to my place.”

    Bucky pulled back just enough to be appropriate and continued to toy with Steve’s hair. “Alright. I’ll behave.”

    Steve hummed in response and leaned into his touch, closing his eyes. Before he knew it, they had arrived at DeStefano’s. Becca found a spot to park the minivan and they all filed out. Steve tripped on his way out and was prepared to faceplant into the sidewalk only to be caught by Bucky. He glanced up and, blushing, smiled at his boyfriend. “I’d make a joke about falling for you but I’m not as good as dad jokes as Natasha.”

     Bucky shook his head with a small smile and straightened Steve up. Wrapping an arm around Steve’s shoulders, he said, “Yeah, let’s avoid dad jokes for a while; your best-friend-slash-honorary-sister has kind of worn me out on them.”

    Steve chuckled and, wrapping his arm around Bucky’s waist, said, “Never show her that she’s wearing you down with them. She will take that as a sign of weakness and then you’re just fucked. And not in the fun way.”

    Bucky laughed and steered them towards the entrance of the restaurant, trailing behind his sister and her family. “I will certainly keep that in mind, Stevie.”

    Steve blushed and, grinning, hip checked Bucky as they walked. Bucky glanced down at him and, cocking a brow, shot him a playful smirk. They walked into the restaurant to find both Bucky’s family as well as Peggy and Gabe waiting for them. Peggy raised an eyebrow and bit back a smile. “Took you two long enough.”

    Steve smiled bashfully and rolled his eyes. “We were only two steps behind the others.”

    Peggy opened her mouth to say something only to have the hostess cut her off. “Your table is ready.”

    Steve just shrugged when Peggy shot him an annoyed look. Everyone followed the hostess and, once they arrived at their table, settled into their seats. Bucky sat on Steve's right, Ezra sat in his left, and Becca sat across from him. The twins sat between their parents while Gabe sat between Bucky and Peggy. The hostess handed out menus and told them their waitress would be by shortly. Steve looked down at his menu and scanned it, trying to ignore the prices like Becca had told him.

    “I have no idea what to order. I’ve been living off of military food for far too long.” Bucky murmured, setting his menu down and leaning back in his chair.

    Steve looked over at him and, with a small smile, said, “Can’t go wrong with the rib eye and the garlic mashed potatoes. Darcy raved about them for days.”

    Bucky smiled, no more than a slight uptick of the corners of his lips, and nodded. “What’re you getting?”

    Steve shrugged. “Darce suggested I go with the chicken cordon bleu so I’ll probably get that. I like steak but I’m just not feeling it tonight.”

    Bucky laid his arm across the back of Steve’s chair and opened his mouth to say something when their waiter arrived. Steve thought that his boyfriend looked a little put out but his soldier didn’t say anything as everyone else gave their drink orders. Once the waiter had left with their drink and food orders, Peggy turned to him and said, “You know we have Lensherr coming in on Sunday, right?”

    Steve groaned softly. “I am not dealing with him. Nope. Not unless Xavier is with him. At least then he's semi-tolerable.”

    Peggy chuckled. “Don’t worry, Nick’s handling him. I just wanted to make sure you had a heads up.”

    "Thank God. I was afraid I'd have to hide over at Thor's again."

    Gabe frowned. "Lensherr? The political activist?"

    Steve and Peggy nodded. Steve said, "We get a lot of famous people, activists, and the family members of politicians at our shop."

    Gabe raised an eyebrow. “Who’s the most famous person you’ve tattoo’d?”

    Steve frowned and went back through all of his past clients. “Depends on your definition of famous. I’ve given Tony Stark a tattoo but I’m also friends with him. I did one for the former president’s son and some rockstar nicknamed Wasp.”

    Peggy nodded. “Everyone in the shop has tattooed at least one person who could be considered famous. Either locally or otherwise.”

    “Uncle Steve’s going to do my first tattoo when I get older.” Kim said, grinning brightly.

    Steve's cheeks went pink when Gabe shot him a surprised look. “Much, much older. As a high school graduation gift.”

    Bucky chuckled. “You know, Kimmy, Steve’s going to be giving me a tattoo later this week-”

    “Don’t you even think about it, James Buchanan Barnes. I am not letting my daughter miss a day of school to watch you get stabbed with a needle.” Becca narrowed her eyes at her brother, looking very much the part of a mother bear.

    Bucky raised an eyebrow. “Alright, alright. I just thought it would be a good idea that she see how much it’s going to hurt when she gets one of her own.”

    Kim sniffed primly. “I didn’t even cry when I broke my arm, Uncle Bucky, I think I’ll be okay.”

    Scott rolled his eyes and turned to his sister. “Quit bragging. It’s not b-be…” He frowned and huffed in frustration. Instead of going quiet like he usually did when he had trouble with a word, he simply switched words and plowed ahead. “It’s not nice.”

    Kim rolled her eyes. “Who said I had to be nice all the time?”

    “Your mother and I did. Besides, you know what your brother meant, Kimberly. Don’t be fussy about word choice, it’s inappropriate for this setting.” Ezra scolded.

    “Yes, sir.” Kim mumbled petulantly while Scott shot her a triumphant look.

    Steve smiled and, turning to Becca, said, “Bucky does have a point about her needing to realize how painful it can be to get a tattoo. It is years off but, if you’re okay with it, she can come in on a weekend to see what we do. I’m sure that there’ll be someone who wouldn’t mind.”

    “Peter’s getting his back piece in a couple weeks, we could ask him if he’s alright with her sitting in for a little bit.” Peggy suggested, shrugging.

    Becca shared a look with Ezra before she nodded. “That’d be fine. As long as it’s on a weekend or sometime after school hours. I don’t want her missing class.”

    “Not a problem.” Steve said, leaning back in his chair. The conversation shifted away from tattoos and on to other things, mostly Bucky and Gabe’s plans for leave. Steve stayed fairly quiet and just listened to the rest of the table talk. The only interruption that came was their waiter stopping by with their drinks and informing them that the food wouldn’t be too much longer. Steve hummed softly in reply and sipped his wine as the waiter retreated and the rest of the table went back to their conversations. Becca and Bucky discussed the rest of their extended family. The twins slipped back into whatever conversation they had been having in the car. And Gabe, Peggy, and Ezra talked about the new StarkTech gadgets that were set to come out in the next couple months. Steve let the conversation wash over him, content to merely enjoy being with people he loved. He rested his head against Bucky’s arm and smiled into his wineglass when his boyfriend’s arm curled protectively around him. He set his glass down and glanced at Bucky, who was still, as far as Steve could tell, solely focused on his sister.

    Steve tilted his head back and watched his boyfriend talk. His heart fluttered at the way Bucky’s eyes lit up at certain topics or the way he smiled so wide that it made the corner of his eyes crinkle. God he loved Bucky’s smile. He never wanted to see that smile fade or hear his laughter die out. Bucky’s smile and laugh were sunshine, warm and bright and golden. He wondered if he’d be able to capture that smile on paper or if it’d be a pale imitation of the real thing. He’d always had issues capturing sunlight on paper. Sure, it looked pretty and was perfect in terms of technique but it never compared to the real thing. Not in his opinion anyway but Natasha always said he was too hard on himself when it came to his art.

    Bucky looked over at him and quirked an eyebrow as an unvoiced question. Blood rushed to Steve’s face. He hadn’t meant to stare but his mind had wandered off on him. Bucky smiled and leaned over to press a gentle kiss against Steve’s flaming cheek. He pulled back just enough that he could murmur in Steve’s ear. “Pisoiul meu, ça va*?”

    Steve suppressed a shiver and nodded. “Ouais, ça va.* I mean, yeah, I’m fine. I just zoned out for a moment.” Bucky looked at him, obviously concerned, but let it drop once Steve smiled and pressed a chaste kiss against his lips. As he was pulling away, Steve felt Bucky sway towards him, as though he were going in for another kiss, and was a little disappointed when Bucky stopped himself. He raised an eyebrow at his boyfriend. Looking sheepish, Bucky shook his head, silently asking Steve to drop it for now, and turned his attention back to his sister.

    It wasn’t long after that the waiter came back with their food. With much reluctance, Bucky unwrapped his arm from Steve’s shoulders so that they both could eat. Steve chuckled and dug into his food, suddenly starving. The talking died down a bit as everyone ate but whatever silence was there wasn’t an awkward one. Steve knew he should have savored the food a bit more but he was rather hungry and knew that the faster they got home, the sooner he would be curled up with Bucky in bed.

     Once everyone was done eating, Ezra settled the bill and they all headed outside. Bucky turned to his sister and said, “Becs, we’ll just call a cab to come get us. The twins look exhausted; no need to keep them out any later than you have to.”

     Becca looked over at her brother, concerned. “Are you sure, Buck? It could be a while before a cab can get out here.”

     Bucky smiled and shook his head. “I already called one. Driver’ll be here in ten.”

     Becca nodded and kissed his cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

     "We'll do lunch." Bucky said, bending over to pick up the twins. As he hugged both of them, Ezra grabbed his duffle out of the the trunk and handed it to Steve. Steve set it on the ground by his feet and shook Ezra’s hand. Turning to Becca, he smiled slightly and allowed her to pull him into a hug. Once everyone had said their goodnights and had headed home, Steve and Bucky were left standing near the entrance of the restaurant.

     Bucky sighed and slumped against the wall. Steve looked over at him and raised an eyebrow. “You okay, Buck?”

     Bucky shut his eyes and nodded. “Yeah, I’m just exhausted. It was a really long day, darlin.”

      Steve shifted to stand between Bucky’s feet and rested his hands on Bucky’s chest. “It won’t be long before we’re back at my place and you can crash.”

     Bucky hummed softly in response and, cracking an eye open, looked down at Steve. Steve smiled and leaned forward to press himself against his boyfriend’s chest. Bucky chuckled and ran his fingers through Steve’s hair. Steve shut his eyes and sighed softly as he leaned into Bucky’s touch. He felt Bucky shift towards him but, before anything could happen, a voice called, “Yo, you the guy who called for the cab?”

     Steve backed away and allowed Bucky to push himself off of the wall. He grabbed his duffle and shouldered it. “Yeah, that would be me. Gonna pop the trunk?”

     Steve glanced at the driver and watched as the man hauled himself out of the taxi and moved around to the back of the car to pop the trunk. Bucky walked over and set his duffle inside and let the man shut it. Steve glanced at the driver before opening the back door and sliding in. Bucky slid in after him and they waited for the cab driver to get back in the car.

     The cabbie slid back into his seat and shut the door. “Where you fellas headed?”

     Steve rattled off his street address and made sure to tell him the cross streets before slumping back into the seat. Bucky reached over and took his hand as the cabbie started idly chit chatting with him about his service. Steve looked down at their hands and smiled slightly. Bucky’s hands were quite a bit larger than his own. He could feel the callouses that had built up over the years and briefly wondered what it would feel like to have those rough patches sliding down his sides. Steve shivered slightly and bit his lip to suppress a rather embarrassing noise. Now was not the time to think of sex. Nope. Maybe once they got back to the apartment. Steve glanced up at Bucky, who was engrossed in his conversation with the cabbie. He suppressed a sigh and looked out the window. Or maybe he wouldn’t think about it at all. Not until Buck had settled in.

     The ride passed quickly and before long, they were parked in front of Steve’s building. While Bucky was getting his duffle from the trunk, Steve paid the fare. 30 bucks, plus tip, wasn’t that bad for a late night with a decent amount of traffic. The driver pulled away and Steve looked over at Bucky, who was looking up curiously at the building. Steve chuckled and, taking his hand, said, “C’mon, Buck.”

     “Building looks nice…Security’s not the worst.” Bucky commented as Steve punched in his passcode.

     “They updated it last month. Before that, it was just a key lock.” Steve muttered, shouldering the door open.

     “Any particular reason why they changed it?”

     “Some douche broke in and tried to get into one of the lady’s apartments. Apparently he was a jealous ex. I was home and heard the commotion when he couldn’t get into her place. I called the cops but...well...let’s just say he ended up breaking the front door on his way back out. The super was pissed that there was damage to the door but, well...eh. At least it’s safer.” Steve glanced at his boyfriend as they walked up the stairs.

      Bucky raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t tell me about that.”

     “Jasper was there. He helped. I didn’t even get a bruise.” Steve mumbled, rolling his eyes. He dug his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the door. Bucky hummed softly and followed Steve inside the dark apartment. Steve tossed his keys in the bowl on the hall table and called, “Ny, Monty. We’re home.”

     The two meows from somewhere in the apartment caused Bucky to chuckle softly as he shut the door behind himself. As Steve ventured further into his apartment, he heard Bucky lock the door and check it. He smiled slightly and flicked on the hall light. Monty and Nyota wandered out of his bedroom. Nyota ran over to him and wound around his legs until he picked her up. Once she was in his arms, she climbed on to his shoulder and rubbed herself up against his head while meowing petulantly in his ear. Steve shushed her and turned around to see what Bucky was doing. He laughed when he saw that Monty had started to climb Bucky’s clothes. Bucky shot his boyfriend an unamused glare before shifting the rather hefty Maine Coon to his shoulder. “Your cat is psychotic.”

     Steve scratched behind Nyota’s ear. “He never does that. Be thankful he actually just wanted to sit on your shoulder and didn’t want to claw your arm to pieces like he did the first time he met Loki.”

     Bucky looked over at Monty and, scratching under his chin, murmured, “You wouldn’t do that to me, would you, Monty. You know I wouldn’t hurt Stevie.”

     Monty purred and smushed his face against Bucky’s cheek. Bucky huffed softly and Steve didn’t even try to hide his giggle. When Bucky glanced over at him, he smiled and said, “C’mon. I know you’re tired so I’ll show you to the bedroom.”

     Bucky adjusted the strap of his duffle and said, “Thanks, darlin.”

     “No problem. Just follow me.” Steve said, heading down the hall. He heard Bucky following him. He opened the door to his bedroom and raised an eyebrow when he noticed that none of the clothes he remembered leaving on the floor were there anymore. He walked over to his nightstand and picked up the note sitting there.

> _Steve,  
> _ _I couldn’t, in good conscious, allow your soldier’s first view of your room be when it was trashed with clothes. You’re welcome.  
> _ _Natasha._

    Steve chuckled softly and set the note back down. He glanced up. Bucky had dropped his duffle on the bed and was currently looking around the room curiously. Steve cleared his throat, drawing Bucky’s gaze. “The bathroom’s across the hall if you feel like using it.”

     Bucky smiled and nodded. “I think I will. Get the airport smell off of me and start to feel a bit more normal.”

     “Alright, Buck.” Steve smiled slightly as Bucky grabbed a travel pack out of his duffle and a pair of boxers. Monty hopped off his shoulder and curled up on the bed. Bucky started towards the door only to stop and turn back around. Steve was about to ask him what was wrong when Bucky strode across the room and leaned down to kiss him gently, careful not to jostle Nyota from his shoulder.

     Bucky pulled back and, with a smile, said, “I’m glad to be here.”

     Steve blushed. “I’m glad you’re here, too. Now...go get that shower. You smell gross. I’ll put your stuff away so you don’t have to worry about it.”

     “Thank you.” Bucky kissed Steve again then turned and headed towards the door. Once the door shut, Steve let out a breath and laughed a little. He was in shock. Bucky was here. In his bathroom. About to take a shower. Oh god. Bucky was going to shower. Naked. Okay, time to change thought pattern. Steve shook his head and set Nyota down on the bed beside Monty then headed over to his dresser and pulled out his pajamas. He quickly changed and tossed his dirty clothes in the hamper. Nyota meowed at him but he ignored her in favor of unpacking Bucky’s bag.

     There was a good amount of clothes but it wasn’t what Steve had expected. Then again, it did make sense that Bucky wouldn’t have brought much with him since most of his civilian clothes had been locked up in his storage unit. There were a few brightly wrapped boxes that Steve just set on the top of the dresser. He sorted the clothes that were in the duffle into their proper drawers and, once it was empty, stowed it underneath the bed. Once he was done, he put his phone on the charger and pulled out his laptop. He checked both his personal and business e-mails before hopping on to Facebook. He fiddled around on there for a while, liking a few of his friend’s posts as well as updating the shop’s page with new photos and info about upcoming events and sales. It was nearing ten and all Steve wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep; however, he knew he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep without brushing his teeth first. But Bucky still hadn’t gotten out of the shower. Maybe he was avoiding Steve? No, that didn’t seem right. He had said he was happy to be here. But he had pulled away at the restaurant. Then again, they were in public and Steve hadn’t really asked how comfortable Bucky was with PDA so it may have been that he just didn’t like that much PDA. But Bucky had been the one to kiss him first.

     Sighing and shaking his head to clear away the confusion, Steve headed across the hall and knocked on the door. Bucky called from inside. “It’s open.”

     Steve cautiously opened the door. “Buck?”

     Bucky peaked out from behind the shower curtain. “You need the bathroom? I know it’s been a while but it’s nice to have decent water pressure for once.”

     Steve smiled slightly. “Nah, I usually shower in the morning. I just need to brush my teeth.”

     Bucky nodded. “It’s your bathroom, you can do what you need. I’m getting out shortly anyway.”

     Steve opened the door and stepped inside. He avoided looking at the outline of his boyfriend behind the shower curtain and focused on just brushing his teeth. He’d just put his toothbrush in his mouth when he heard the water shut off and the shower curtain rustle. He kept his eyes trained on the sink as he heard Bucky move around the small bathroom, drying off and pulling on his boxers. He was so focused on not turning around that he completely missed Bucky talking to him. As a result, he nearly jumped out of his skin when Bucky touched his shoulder. He whirled around and stared up at Bucky in shock.

     Bucky had his hands in the air. “I’m sorry. You have your ears in so I thought you heard me say your name.”

     Steve turned to spit his toothpaste out then turned back to look at his boyfriend. “Sorry. I was distracted and I didn’t hear you. What did you need?”

    Bucky smiled easily and, lowering his arms, said, “I asked if you’d budge over a bit so I could brush my teeth too.”

    Nodding, Steve scooted over a little so Bucky could reach the sink as well. Bucky smiled slightly and, after prepping his toothbrush, started to brush his teeth. Steve blushed and looked down as he resumed brushing. He and Bucky nudged each other every once and a while but it wasn’t as awkward as Steve thought it would have been. As he was rinsing his mouth out, he was hit with how domestic this entire thing was. Standing beside the man he loved while they both brushed their teeth. He shook his head and spit out the mouthwash. He turned to dry his mouth off while Bucky rinsed his mouth with Steve’s mouthwash. Steve turned around to tell Bucky that he was going to bed when Bucky kissed him. Again.

    Steve laughed into the kiss and, closing his eyes, wrapped his arms around Bucky’s neck. He certainly wasn’t going to complain that Bucky wanted to kiss him so much. Bucky wrapped his arms around his waist and lifted him up to sit on the sink counter. Bucky moved to kiss along his jaw and murmured, “Sorry. But I’ve behaved all night, even when I really just wanted to make out with you at the restaurant, and I needed to kiss you again.”

     “I am so not complaining, Buck.” Steve murmured, pulling Bucky closer. His boyfriend was still a little damp from his shower but Steve didn’t care. He had his soldier in his arms and it felt like home. He buried his hand in Bucky’s short-cropped hair and gasped softly when Bucky nipped at his jaw. God that felt good. He tilted his head and captured Bucky’s lips again, kissing him fiercely. Bucky’s fingers tightened on Steve’s hips as he kissed back.

     Between kisses, Bucky murmured, “You’re such a fucking tease. And so God damn gorgeous. You know that, right?”

     Steve snorted and nipped at Bucky’s jaw. “I’m not the one who looks like he belongs on the cover of a PlayGirl. Or in Flaunt.”

     Bucky pulled back enough to look at Steve. He frowned. “Steve. We’ve talked about this.”

     Steve sighed and leaned back a little to lean against the mirror. The faucet was digging into his back but he didn’t care. “I know, Buck. I just...I can’t see what you do.”

     Bucky ran his hands up Steve’s sides and leaned over to kiss Steve gently. Steve kissed him back, slow and gentle, enjoying the feel of Bucky’s lips moving against his. After a few kisses, Bucky pulled back a little and murmured against Steve’s lips, “If I weren’t so damn tired, I’d show you exactly how gorgeous you are to me.”

     “You can show me on Monday when we’re both free.” Steve murmured, leaning up to steal another kiss. “For now, we both need to get to bed.”

    Bucky sighed. “Alright.” Steve opened his mouth to ask Bucky to move so he could get off the sink when Bucky gripped his thighs and literally lifted Steve off the sink counter. Steve yelped and wrapped his arms around Bucky’s neck as the other man started towards the bedroom.

     “Buck!”

     A chuckle. “Apologies, pisoiul meu.”

     “You’re a jerk.”

     “You love me.”

     “Well, yes. But that is so not the point right now.” Steve grunted softly when Bucky dropped him on the bed.

     “Don’t worry, punk, next time I’ll give you warning.” Bucky turned around and moved to shut the lights off.

     “You better. I don’t let just anyone manhandle me.” Steve muttered, taking off his glasses and his hearing aids before moving so he was under the covers. Nyota and Monty meowed indignantly at him for being moved but he ignored them. “My ears are out so you’re going to have to speak up.”

     “Alright.” Bucky said, loud enough that Steve could hear him. Steve watched him cross the room and crawl into bed beside him. Bucky smiled and said, “And I will be eternally grateful that you allow me to manhandle you.” Steve chuckled and allowed Bucky to wrap an arm around his waist and drag him across the bed, into Bucky’s arms. They shifted around a bit until they were both comfortable but once they settled, Bucky’s chest was pressed up against Steve’s back and Steve was holding Bucky’s had to his chest.

     Steve was quiet for a while, enjoying the feeling of being in Bucky’s arms. After a moment, he murmured, “I am glad that you’re here, Buck. I may have been whole before but this...this feels a hell of a lot better.”

     Steve felt more than heard Bucky hum before he pressed a kiss against the back of Steve’s neck. He shifted slightly and murmured, almost directly into Steve’s ear, “I know what you mean. Being with the one you love will always make things better than they were before.” Steve’s heart skipped a beat and he turned a little to look up at Bucky. Bucky smiled blandly and added, “Yes, I love you. More and more every day.”

    Steve smiled and squeezed Bucky’s hand. “I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ezra was going to say something that my uncle says a lot “He’s more distracted than a priest in a strip club.”
> 
> Scott was going to say douchebag. Which he has heard his mother call other drivers. And pedestrians. And his dad on occasion.
> 
> When Scott stutters at the restaurant, he’s trying to say the word becoming but, well, he’s six and has a bit of a speech thing.
> 
> Ça va can mean anything from “how are you doing” to “are you alright?” in French. It can even be a reply. A complete conversation in French could go like this: “Ça va?” “Ça va. Ça va?” “Ça va.” And it would mean the same thing as: “How are you?” “I’m fine. How are you?” “I’m fine.” Basically, French is a really fckin weird language and I have a love/hate relationship with learning it.
> 
> Because it wasn’t entirely clear in the story and I don’t get to touch on it in this chapter: Bucky pulled away in the restaurant because a) it’s public place and, even though it’s Brooklyn, he doesn’t want to start a fight on his first night back, b) he was in uniform which means that there’s a stricter code of conduct that has to be followed even while on leave (that’s to the best of my knowledge. My family members always act a little more reserved while in uniform and say it’s due to conduct codes but idk for certain because I’m not in the military myself), and c) he was with his sister and her kids and while they are very liberal he didn’t want to make them uncomfortable since Becca hasn’t seen him in a relationship with a man before. Steve doesn’t know all of this for certain and it does cause a bit of insecurity on his part but he brushes it away easily.


	17. Unforgettable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Oh?" America asked, obviously curious. Steve stood up quickly and bashed the back of his head on the desk. Cursing, he held his head and crumpled back down onto the ground. Pain blossomed from where his skull had made contact with the hardwood and his eyes crossed for a moment. Yeah, that was more painful than it had been the last time. Note to self: never fucking stand up without checking where the hell the desk is.
> 
> "Holy shit, Steve?!" America yelped, moving to his side.
> 
> Steve waved her off and hauled himself up. "Okay, yeah. Hitting head on desk still hurts like a motherfucker."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies that this has taken so long to get out to y'all. Spring break didn't go as planned and uni's been...well...uni.

     The early morning sunlight bathed Steve’s room in a soft, golden glow. It washed over the floor and crept towards the bed, eventually shining almost directly on to Steve’s eyelids. He groaned and rolled over, burying his face into Bucky’s pillow in an attempt to rid himself of the aggravating light. For a moment he savored being surrounded by Bucky’s scent and the still warm indent his boyfriend had left in the bed, losing himself in his own half-formed thoughts and half-acknowledged feelings that can only come when one is mostly asleep. In this moment, he could admit to himself that Bucky was the man he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. And whatever afterlife awaited them once they died. In his waking moments, he was still too hesitant to admit this. But in this moment, in his half-asleep state, he knew Bucky was “the one” that his mother had told him about. If Bucky felt the same way was still uncertain to him.

     It took him longer than he’d like to admit to realize that the fact that he could bury his face into Bucky’s pillow meant that Bucky himself was no longer in bed with him. Frowning, he lifted his head and looked around the room. Monty and Ny were still curled up at the end of the bed but the door was ajar. Even without his hearing aids, Steve could hear music coming from the direction of the kitchen. Steve lay there for a moment, debating if he should get up or not. Sighing, he rolled out of bed and put his ears in. There was no use lying in bed if Bucky wasn’t there with him so he grabbed his glasses and headed towards the door.

     Once he was in the hall, he put his glasses on and smiled when he heard Nat King Cole crooning “Unforgettable” from the kitchen. He padded silently down the hall and, when he got to the entrance to the kitchen, leaned against the archway. Bucky didn’t appear to notice him and continued to work, humming softly along with the song as he sliced mushrooms. Steve bit his lip and watched Bucky move around the kitchen as though he’d been there for years instead of just a few hours. It probably should have bothered him that Bucky was so at home in his apartment after such a short amount of time but it felt right. And at least Bucky remembered to throw on a shirt and a pair of sweatpants before starting breakfast. Steve wasn’t sure what he was making but he knew that most breakfasts included bacon, which splattered and could cause some pretty serious burns. Not that the shirt did much to cover his arms or hide his toned muscles. And the sweats looked more like yoga pants to be honest. Steve shook his head and, in an attempt to derail his thoughts, cleared his throat to catch his boyfriend’s attention.

     Bucky glanced over and smiled, his face entire face lighting up. "Morning, sleepyhead. I was going to make you breakfast in bed but it’s taking a bit longer than I thought it would."

     Steve moved into the kitchen and looked at the stove curiously. "What are you making?"

     Looking down at the gathered ingredients, Bucky said, "Quiche. Spinach, mushroom, and feta. Crustless because I’m good but crust is kind of my downfall." Bucky glanced at Steve and grinned.

     Steve felt himself blush a little under his boyfriend’s gaze and looked away, focusing on the pans on the stove instead of Bucky’s bright blue eyes. "Sounds delicious, Buck. You didn’t have to though."

     "I know. I wanted to." Bucky shrugged and checked the spinach that he had wilting in a pan beside the mushrooms and onions.

     "You’re going to spoil me." Steve said, glancing up at his boyfriend. When Bucky shot him a curious look, he added, "I usually only eat cereal or yogurt for breakfast."

     "Mmm. Well, as long as I’m here, you’re not going to be stuck with that." Bucky murmured, leaning over to kiss Steve. Steve chuckled softly and kissed Bucky back, not finding the need to argue with his soldier. After a moment, Bucky pulled back and shut the stove off. "Gimme a minute to throw everything together and then you’ll have my undivided attention. For at least 30 minutes." Steve nodded and leaned against the counter as Bucky combined everything and put it in a baking dish. Once he’d placed it in the oven, he set a timer on his phone and turned to Steve with a grin.

     Steve smiled and pulled Bucky into a hug, sighing contentedly when Bucky wrapped his arms around him. He rested his cheek against Bucky’s chest and closed his eyes, soaking up his boyfriend’s body heat. "What are you doing today?"

     Bucky idly stroked Steve’s back. "I’m having lunch with my sister then going to see about renting a car or a motorcycle. I know it’s not really practical to drive everywhere in the city but I don’t like being bound by public transport."

    Steve hummed. "Why don’t I get my dad’s main bike out of storage for you instead of renting? I can’t use it and Sam, Riley, and Thor don’t ride it as much as it should be ridden."

     Bucky was silent for a moment. "Seems like a good idea. But what about insurance?"

     Steve shrugged. "I’ll add you on to mine. I’ve already got both bikes covered. And the guys have their own insurance for their person."

     "I can pay my half of-"

     "You don’t have to-"

     "Steve, lemme pay my share of the insurance, okay? You’re already letting me use your dad’s bike." Bucky bumped the top of Steve’s head with his nose. "I’ll just use the money I was planning on using to rent the bike to pay it."

     Steve sighed. Bucky had a point. And he couldn’t really afford to add another person to his insurance without some sort of help. Not when he had some old hospital bills coming back to bite him. Tilting his head, he looked up at his boyfriend and smiled. "Alright, but don’t even think about trying to help pay on the rent."

     Bucky chuckled. "Yes, pisoiul meu. I wouldn’t dream of it." He was silent for a beat before he added, under his breath, "Not yet at least." Steve looked up at Bucky, eyes narrowed. Bucky grinned sheepishly and pecked Steve on the lips. "What’re you doing today?"

     Steve rolled his eyes and shifted back slightly. "Work from ten to ten then we’re going to have drinks with Phil and his boyfriend."

      "Where are we meeting for drinks? Any place I’d know?" Bucky asked, leaning back against the counter and pulling Steve along with him.

     Steve situated himself between Bucky’s thighs and rested his hands on his boyfriend’s trim waist before he responded, "Stark’s new club in Alphabet City. Apparently Hawk wanted to check it out and Phil didn’t have the heart to say no. Tony got us on the VIP list so we won’t have to deal with the majority of the crowd."

     Bucky snorted. "Clint’s going to be there tonight too. Maybe he and Boss can join the four of us.”

     "Really?" Steve perked up slightly; maybe if Clint was there, Bucky would be able to feel relaxed around Steve’s friends.

     Bucky nodded. "Yeah. I called him this morning to make sure he got into the city in one piece. He said managed to get Boss to take him tonight. And mentioned something about getting Boss to loosen up and actually dance with him."

     Steve chewed on his lip for a beat. "Huh. Well, if we run into them, I doubt Phil will have problem with them joining us."

    "Good." Bucky murmured, leaning over and nuzzling behind Steve’s ear.

     Steve chuckled and ran his fingers through Bucky’s hair. "And you call me a cat."

     Bucky nipped at Steve’s jaw. "Takes one to know one."

     "You’re a lot more open about your affection at home than you are in public." Steve commented, remembering how Bucky had stopped himself from continuing to kiss him at dinner last night.

     Bucky pulled back and looked down at Steve, guilt darkening his normally bright blue eyes. "I’m not normally like I was yesterday. Last night I was in my fatigues and we were in a restaurant with my sister and her kids. It’s…" He trailed off and went quiet for a moment. After a beat, he said, "When you have the uniform on you’re held to a higher standard. I don’t care what people think about PDA, Steve. If I’m not in my fatigues and I want to kiss you, then I’m going to kiss you. It’s just...there’s a certain code of conduct that you have to hold yourself to while in uniform and I didn’t want to tempt myself into breaking that. Not to mention the fact that I also didn’t want to freak Becca out since she’s never seen me in a relationship with a man before."

     Steve nodded and looked down at Bucky’s chest. "That makes sense. I just...didn’t know."

     Bucky tilted Steve’s head up and, once he was sure Steve was looking at him, said, "I hope you didn’t think that I stopped myself from kissing you last night because I didn’t want you or something like that. Because that’s not true. I’d spend all my time kissing you if I could."

     Steve blushed a vibrant shade of red. "I know, Buck. I didn’t really think it was because you didn’t want to. My brain just...is weird sometimes and throws out stupid insecure thoughts that I know aren’t true."

     Bucky kissed the corner of Steve’s mouth and murmured, "I’m sorry. I meant to explain last night but...I got distracted."

     "It’s alright, Buck." Steve murmured, running his hands up Bucky’s chest. He tilted his head to the side and caught Bucky’s lips with his own. Returning the kiss, Bucky’s hands shifted from Steve’s waist to his hips and pulled him closer. Steve let his eyes slip shut as he buried a hand in Bucky’s hair and kissed him fiercely. Bucky moaned softly and nipped at Steve’s bottom lip. Steve groaned and tightened his grip on Bucky’s hair.

     Bucky gasped and moved to kiss Steve’s jaw. Between kisses, he murmured, "You’re. the. most. gorgeous. man. I. know." Steve was about to protest when Bucky nipped at his neck and his thought process got thoroughly derailed. He rocked against Bucky and tilted his head to the side so his boyfriend could better access his neck. Bucky hummed softly as he worked on marking Steve’s neck.

     Steve sighed contentedly, running his fingers through Bucky’s hair. Normally, he would’ve protested being marked somewhere so visible but with Bucky he didn’t care who saw. He bit back a moan when Bucky lightly dragged his teeth over his neck. Goddamn, that felt good. Bucky was good at this. Bucky’s hands started to drift towards his ass when a loud shrill buzzer cut through the haze. Bucky dropped his head on Steve’s shoulder and cursed softly under his breath. Steve chuckled and moved away to let Bucky pull their breakfast out of the oven.

     Bucky grumbled under his breath but grabbed a potholder and opened the oven to check the quiche. "Yeah, okay. It’s done." He pulled it out and set it on the counter then made sure he shut the oven off.

     "I’m going to grab a quick shower so that can cool a little." Steve said, smiling as Bucky pulled out plates from the cupboard.

     "Alright. You want any company?" Bucky asked, glancing at Steve with a playful smirk as he opened the silverware drawer.

     Steve blinked owlishly. He hadn’t expected Bucky to ask that this early. Did he want company? Was he ready for Bucky to see him without his clothes on? A shower was just a shower but a shower with someone could turn into something else very quickly. He could always just tell Buck that he wasn’t ready for sex yet but showering together was okay. Was showering together okay? He wasn’t entirely adverse to the thought and he didn’t have to do anything sexual. They could just shower. But would Bucky respect that decision? Steve thought he would but he wasn’t entirely certain. And he couldn’t be certain unless he put them in that situation.

     Bucky looked over at him. "Steve? You okay?"

     Steve shook his head and shot Bucky a shy smile. "Yeah, I just...got lost in my head for a second." Steve eyed Bucky for a moment and decided to go with his gut. "You know what, yeah. I would like some company. I know you took a shower last night but...yeah."

     Bucky blinked, obviously surprised. "Seriously?"

     Steve nodded. "It won’t lead to shower sex but, you know, showering with another person can be nice."

     Bucky grinned. "True." Steve smiled and took Bucky's hand, leading him towards the bathroom. Bucky squeezed Steve's hand and said, "I didn’t actually expect you to say yes."

     Steve glanced over his shoulder at his boyfriend as he opened the bathroom door and admitted, "I didn’t think I was going to." Bucky nodded silently and Steve let go of his hand. He moved across the bathroom and knelt down beside the tub to turn the water on. He heard Bucky shut the door and felt his boyfriend’s eyes on him. He flipped the switch for the shower and stepped back. Looking over at Bucky, he smiled and said, "I need to take my ears out and my eyes off for this so I’m trusting you here."

     "I’ll be sure to speak up and not make any sudden advances." Bucky said, giving Steve a thumbs up.

     Steve chuckled softly and took his glasses off, setting them on the sink counter. He took his hearing aids out as well and set them beside his glasses. He slipped his shirt off and heard Bucky whistle. He looked over at his boyfriend and raised an eyebrow. Bucky just smiled and pulled off his own shirt. Steve glanced at the dog tags dangling from Bucky’s neck before he turned back around and shucked off his pajama bottoms and boxers.

     "I could bounce a quarter off that ass…" Bucky commented as Steve pulled back the shower curtain.

     "Doubtful. I’m too bony." Steve said, stepping into the shower. He smiled when he heard Bucky laugh, warmth spreading through out him that had nothing to do with the near scalding temperature of the water. He felt rather than heard Bucky climb into the shower behind him. He ducked his head under the water and sighed as the hot water rushed over him. Bucky cursed, too soft for Steve to discern what was said but he knew that tone. Steve glanced back at him. "You okay?"

     "Yeah. I just wasn’t expecting the water to be that hot." Bucky said, shifting closer to Steve.

     Steve leaned back a little, his back barely brushing against Bucky’s chest. "I’m sorry, I should’ve warned you that I tend to take showers that are almost scalding."

     "It’s alright." Bucky said, wrapping his arms around Steve’s waist and ducking his head under the spray as well. Steve’s breath hitched; he could feel every inch of Bucky pressed against his back and, while he liked it, he wasn’t sure if he should continue to let Bucky touch him like this. It was one thing to let him do it when they were fully clothed, or at least partially clothed, and another to let him do it while they were both naked. At least neither of them had gotten hard yet. That would make things infinitely more awkward. Steve glanced at his boyfriend and grabbed the shampoo only to have Bucky pluck it from his hands. When he looked back at his boyfriend with a questioning look, Bucky merely said, "Let me."

     Steve huffed and rolled his eyes. "Buck, I can-"

     Bucky gently kissed the hickey that was just beginning to form on Steve’s neck. "I know you can but, please, Stevie….Let me take care of you."

     Steve shivered at the unexpected touch and, after a moment’s consideration, nodded. He shut his eyes and focused on the feel of the water hitting his face. He could feel Bucky moving behind him and smiled slightly when Bucky had them switch places so the water wouldn’t wash the shampoo out before he had a chance to work it in. Steve was grateful that Bucky warned him before he started running his fingers through his hair, gently massaging his scalp and working the shampoo in. Steve tilted his head back into Bucky’s hands and moaned at the feeling. This was better than any massage he’d gotten at Bruce’s place and better than the hair washing he typically got from his usual salon. Bucky chuckled and continued to run his fingers through Steve’s hair. Steve reached out and held onto Bucky’s hips, his breath quickening at the feel of Bucky’s skin under his hands. Jesus H. Christ, it really did feel like warm flesh stretched taut over living marble. He slowly moved his hands up to Bucky’s waist and moved in a little closer to his boyfriend’s body.

     "You’re really good at that." Steve murmured, ignoring the fact that his body was reacting to both Bucky’s touch and the feel of Bucky’s body under his hands.

     Bucky chuckled. "Clint actually taught me a lot about massages and stuff like that."

     Steve frowned. "Have you and Clint...I know you said you had a few flings over the years but you never said any names...."

     Bucky sighed. "I was wondering when you were going to ask that. And to answer your question, yes, we have. It wasn't anything serious and neither of us ever had anything other than platonic feelings for one another. It was always just about scratching an itch."

     A sickly cool feeling settled in Steve’s stomach. Jealously. He shoved the feeling aside with a quick mental kick and a reminder that it didn't matter who Bucky had been with; the only thing that mattered was that he was with him now. Steve breathed for a moment then said, "You know I'm okay with that, right? Your past is your past, I’m not one to judge."

     "I know that Boss freaked out about it, something about the age difference between him and Clint and the closeness of our friendship but I wasn’t really paying attention to that conversation. But that’s not the point. The point is that I just wanted to make sure you knew it wasn’t anything serious and that I don’t love Clint like I love you." Bucky said, shifting them around so Steve was standing under the water.

     Steve hummed and waited until all the shampoo was rinsed out. "Buck, just because I personally won't have sex with someone I don't love romantically doesn’t mean I expect you to be the same way. And I’m fully aware of the fact that there is more than one type of love."

      "I know that. I just...some people get freaked out by the whole...friends with benefits thing. Barney didn’t handle it very well either. I swear that man wanted to murder me."

     "Barney probably just didn’t want Clint to be hurt. Natasha and Peggy are the same way with me." Steve said, opening his eyes and looking up at his boyfriend with a smile. Bucky smiled and leaned down to kiss Steve. Steve let his eyes slip shut again and wrapped his arms around Bucky’s neck. Bucky pulled away slightly and murmured something against Steve’s skin. Steve huffed softly and said, "Speak up, Buck. Half-deaf man over here."

     Bucky kissed his jaw and pulled away, grabbing the conditioner. He glanced at Steve as he poured some into his hand. "I said, I love you."

    Steve flushed a vibrant red that had nothing to do with the heat of the water hitting his back. Damn, three words and he turned into a freaking tomato. Clearing his throat, he smiled and said, "I love you too, Buck." They switched spots again so Bucky could work the conditioner in. Once they’d rinsed that out too, Steve leaned over and grabbed his bodywash and squeezed a bit into the washcloth that Bucky was holding. "You know, I can wash myself."

     "I never said you couldn’t, Steve. I don’t think you can’t either. I just want an excuse to touch you and pampering you seemed to be the best way." Bucky smiled a little as he lathered the washcloth up and started washing Steve’s chest and shoulders, carefully brushing over Steve’s piercing.

     Steve looked down and watched Bucky move the cloth over his body. Hesitantly, he murmured, "You don’t need an excuse to touch me, Buck." Bucky hummed noncommittally and leaned in to kiss Steve as he gently ran the washcloth over his boyfriend’s body. Steve sighed into the kiss and let his eyes slip shut, enjoying the feel of Bucky’s hands on him. Steve was surprised at the thoroughness Bucky was using to make sure he was clean. And how it didn’t feel like his boyfriend was ever trying to cop a feel. Once Steve had rinsed off, he shut the water off and looked up at Bucky. "You’re odd."

     Bucky frowned. "What do you mean?"

     Steve shrugged. "In my experience, others’ve tried to start something even when all I want to do is shower. Or they at least try to cop a feel. You just….didn’t."

     Bucky raised an eyebrow and pushed the curtain back. He stepped out and grabbed a towel from the rack. Wrapping it around his waist, he said, "You said not to so I didn’t. I mean, I’m not going to lie and say that I didn’t want to cop a feel or try to start something but I respect your decisions, Steve. Your body is yours, and even though we’re dating, I have no right to it."

     Steve stared at his boyfriend, blinking a few times. In his entire life, no one had ever seemed to understand that. Sure, Peggy and Sam understood that now but when they had been dating Steve? Not so much. To be fair, they understood the concept, just not why it applied to their relationship with Steve. Sam had seemed to think that just because they were dating, they both had a claim on the other’s body. Peggy, while not as bad as Sam in that respect, seemed to feel the same way. If Steve had been anybody else, it probably wouldn’t’ve bothered him and he likely would’ve agreed with them. But Steve wasn’t someone else. After spending so much time in the hospital as a child and having the right to not be touched, in the most basic sense, taken away because of health concerns, he valued the right to chose who touched him and when they were allowed to touch him more than the average person.

     Bucky smiled slightly and held out a towel for Steve. "Here, pisoiul meu. Why don’t you go get dressed? I’ll serve up breakfast before you have to get to work."

     Steve took the towel and nodded. He wrapped it around his waist and followed Bucky out of the bathroom. Bucky kissed his temple before padding back to the kitchen and Steve smiled a small, private smile before heading back to the bedroom. Nyota and Monty looked up when he walked in but curled back up as Steve walked over to his dresser. After drying off, Steve pulled on a pair of boxer-briefs and stared into his dresser, trying to figure out what to wear. Monty and Nyota both meowed at him.

    "Yeah, yeah, I’ll feed you before I leave, like always." Steve said, grabbing a pair of faded denim shorts and a light grey tank top with some weird design on it that Darcy had bought for him at a thrift shop. After pulling on his shorts and throwing on his tank top, he pulled on a pair of knock-off TOMS and a light button up before he headed back to the bathroom to get his glasses and hearing aids. He headed back into the kitchen and smiled when he saw Bucky leaning against the counter, towel secured around his waist, poking at his plate of quiche with a fork.

     Bucky glanced up and grinned. "You look good, Stevie."

     Steve blushed and ran a hand through his hair. "It’s supposed to be pretty warm today so I should be okay."

     "Mmhmm. Oh, Sam called. He and Riley are picking you up on their way to work, they’ll be here in fifteen."

     Steve groaned and grabbed his plate. "I told them that I’d take the bus like always. They just want to scope you out. Nosey bastards."

     Bucky chuckled. "They care about you, Steve. And I’m sure that Sam wants to make sure I’m not taking advantage of you."

     Steve shrugged and dug into his food. "Mmm. This is really good, Buck."

     "That’s good, I was worried that years of being forced to use Tabasco to make Army food edible had killed my taste buds."

     "Nah, not yet anyway." Steve wolfed down the rest of his food and put his plate in the sink. "You should get dressed before they get here. I love both of them but there is no way I am explaining a naked boyfriend."

     Bucky chuckled and, setting his empty plate in the sink, kissed Steve’s temple. "Alright. I’ll be back out in a few."

     Steve watched Bucky turn the corner before he quickly washed their breakfast mess and put out Nyota and Monty’s food. Once he’d made sure his cats were eating, he headed back to the bathroom and brushed his teeth. He’d just finished rinsing his mouth out with mouthwash when the building buzzer went off. Steve headed back out and checked to see that it was Sam and Riley before he buzzed them up. He figured there was no use trying to convince them not to come up since they’d already ignored the fact that he had wanted to take the bus into work today. Steve shoved his wallet and his inhaler into his pockets. He looked around for his keys and frowned when he couldn’t find them.

     "Buck, have you seen my keys?" Steve called, checking behind the table in the hall.

     "They’re on the kitchen counter. I didn’t know where you put them and I found them on the floor this morning when I got up. Monty or Ny must’ve wanted to play with them or something." Bucky walked out of the bedroom, pulling on his shirt.

     "Ah, okay." Steve checked the counter and grabbed them. Pocketing them, he said, "Just for future ref, they go in the bowl on the table in the front hall. My wallet and travel inhaler are right next to it. Oh, and the key I had made for you is in the top left hand drawer. It’s on the keychain that looks like a cameo locket. Inside the locket, there’s a slip of paper with the code for the front door. It’s secured to the locket with tape so it won’t fall out when you open it."

     Bucky nodded and wrapped his arms around Steve’s shoulders. "You know, I really don’t want you to go to work."

     Steve wrapped his arms around Bucky’s waist and looked up at him. "I’d prefer not to but I’m out too often as it is. I’ll be back around ten-thirty then we can grab something to eat before we meet Phil and Hawk at the club. Bar. Thing. Besides, you need to have lunch with your sister."

     "Yes. I do. When are we getting the bike out of storage? Just so I know how long I have to deal with public transport." Bucky said, glancing over at the door when there was a knock.

     Steve rolled his eyes and wiggled out of Bucky’s arms to go open the door. Glancing over his shoulder, he said, "I can give you the key and passcode to get it today if you want. I’ll call on my break to put you on my insurance."

     "Nah, I’d rather you were there. I’m not on the paperwork for the unit so I’d rather not get the cops called on me." Bucky said, leaning against the wall as Steve opened the door.

     "Then we can go on Monday when I’m off work." Steve turned and smiled at Sam and Riley. "Hey guys. Let me grab my bag and then we can go." He moved aside to let them inside and shut the door behind them.

     Bucky smiled kindly and offered his hand to Sam. "You must be Sam. Steve speaks very highly of you."

     Sam eyed Bucky suspiciously but shook his hand anyway. "Yeah. Sam Wilson. You must be Staff Sergeant Barnes."

     "Bucky’s fine." His gaze turned to Riley and he shifted back on his heels in surprise. "Well, I’ll be damned."

     Riley chuckled and clapped Bucky on the shoulder. "Nah, you’d’ve only been damned if I hadn’t gotten your ass outta India."

     "Wait, you know each other?" Sam asked, looking between the two of them. When he looked at Steve, Steve just shrugged and shouldered his messenger bag. He didn’t know anything about this but he wasn’t surprised. It made sense that there would’ve been times that Buck needed to be pulled out of an op under not so good conditions, which was the only time they ever sent in Riley or Sam.

     Riley nodded. "I did a few solo missions to drag Barnes back in from the cold whenever he was too stupid to get his ass to the rendezvous point."

     "I was never too stupid, just too stubborn and wanted to finish the mission." Bucky said, chuckling softly. "I’m glad to see you though, I heard you took a nasty hit and almost died."

     Riley nodded. "Yeah. Lost a leg, gained a fuckton of scars that this one," He hooked a thumb at Sam, "seems to find inordinately fascinating, and ended up outing myself before DADT was repealed. The only thing I’m thankful for is that they went with a medical discharge for both of us instead of what they could’ve done."

     "How are you handling that? The leg not the discharge."

     "Day by day. It’s not the missing limb that’s the hardest part, ya know?"

     "I’d assume the hardest part is the PTSD or depression or whatever other mental shit that stems from the missing limb and the whole being shot down thing."

     "Got it in one. It’s rough but at least Stark payrolls good therapists for the local vets to use free of charge and pays most of what insurance doesn’t cover for the meds."

     Sam shoved his hands into his pockets and said, "He’s also looking into alternative prostheses. Something that’ll hookup to the nervous system so those who lost limbs don’t need to go through the phantom limb stuff that’ll aggravate the mental stuff."

     Riley nodded. "Unfortunately, none of his guys are anywhere close to where they need to be. Even Tony’s having issues figuring out how he’d be able to do it without having to solder the damn thing into the poor sap’s spinal cord."

     "As fascinating as it is to talk about Tony and his mad scientist experiments, we do kind of need to get to work, guys." Steve said, raising an eyebrow at his friends.

     Sam nodded. "Right, yeah. Okay, let’s get going. It was good to meet you, Bucky."

     "It was good to meet you too, Sam." Bucky said, shaking Sam’s hand again.

     Riley clapped Bucky on the shoulder and said, "It was good seeing you again, Barnes. Try not to break my boss."

     Steve sighed. "And as your boss, I’m telling you to get out my house so we won’t be late." Riley shot Steve a shit-eating grin before hauling Sam away by the bicep. Steve rolled his eyes and looked up at Bucky. "I swear….if they weren’t my friends…."

     Bucky chuckled and pulled Steve into a hug. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. You’d fire all of them for being nosey lil shits." He leaned down and kissed the corner of Steve’s mouth. Steve tilted his head and caught Bucky’s lips as he was pulling away. Bucky huffed a laugh into the kiss but didn’t break it until Steve started to pull away again. He smiled, his eyes softening, and ran a hand through Steve’s hair. Cupping his boyfriend’s cheek, he murmured, "I love you, pisoiul meu. Have a good day at work."

     Steve shifted his head and kissed Bucky’s palm before looking back up at his boyfriend and murmuring, "I love you too, a stór. Behave with your sister today, okay?"

     "I will. Now get going before Sam tries to murder me with his mind." Bucky said, placing one last chaste kiss on Steve’s lips before he backed away. Steve smiled slightly, turned heel, and walked out of the door. After making sure his door was shut and locked, he hurried down the steps to catch up with Sam and Riley. When he slid into the car, Sam and Riley were in the middle of an argument.

     "I can’t believe you didn’t tell me that you know Barnes." Sam said, looking over at Riley as though he’d just kicked their dog.

     Riley shrugged. "A. You never asked, just ranted about him. B. You did know I knew him just not that it was him."

     Steve sighed. "Guys, less arguing, more driving our asses to work."

     Sam grunted and pulled out onto the street. "What do you mean I knew you knew him but didn’t know it was him?"

     "Okay, you know how your nickname was Falcon and mine was Osprey when we were still military?"

     "Yes, our Air Force buddies still call us that when we get together, what is your point?"

     "Does the name Winter Soldier mean anything to you?" Riley asked, smirking triumphantly. Steve raised an eyebrow and pulled out his phone, sending a short text to Bucky that said: _Winter Soldier?_

     Sam stopped at the red light and turned towards Riley with a shocked expression. "Wait...you mean Barnes is….ah, hell no. Winter’s the entire reason we’re together, man. He’s the one who told you to pull your head out of your ass and take a chance."

     "I know, now stop being a dickhead and drive." Riley said, shaking his head. Steve smiled slightly as Sam turned his attention back to the road and continued on to work. When his phone vibrated, he glanced down, unlocked it, and read Bucky’s response: _Army nickname that I’m not very fond of but stuck. I try to avoid mentioning it._

     Steve shot off a quick _alright, love you_ before locking and tucking his phone back into his pocket. Once Sam had parked, the three of them filed out of the car and headed into the shop. Peter and Darcy were already up front and Peter shot Steve a confused look as he dropped his bag behind the counter. Steve raised an eyebrow and asked, "What?"

     "Is that a hickie or did you get hit with a paintball again?" Peter asked bluntly.

     Miles stuck his head out of Nick’s workroom and said, "Bossman has a hickie?"

     Steve blushed and rubbed his neck. "Uh…"

     "Back to work, boys. Leave Steve alone." Darcy said, shooting Miles and Peter unamused looks.

     Steve shot her a grateful look and mouthed ‘Thank you’ over Peter’s head and behind Miles’ back before he grabbed his appointment list and headed back to his workroom. He spent most of his day holed up in his workroom with America. They’d rotated apprentices about a week ago so that the apprentices would be exposed to different styles of tattooing and they could decide for themselves what style they liked the best. Steve had a steady stream of clients throughout the day and was thankful that he didn’t really need to leave his workroom since America volunteered to get him whatever he needed. Their lunch passed almost too quickly, Steve split his time between eating and dealing with his motorcycle insurance agency to get Bucky added to his plan. Thankfully, Bucky had had the foresight to send him the information that he’d need to give the company before he’d gone to lunch with his sister.

     About an hour before he was set to head home for the day, Kate showed up for her consult. On his sheet it hadn’t specified what Kate’s surname was but, when she walked through his workroom door, Steve wasn’t that surprised that one of Bucky’s squad members was showing up for another tattoo. He smiled slightly and said, "Kate. I didn’t know you were stopping by."

     Kate smiled and perched herself on the lounger that the clients usually laid on. "Sarge knew I was coming in, just not when. He’s the one who suggested I go to you instead of one of your other tattoo artists. I also wanted to apologize in person for what happened over Skype that day."

     Steve waved it off. "There’s no need to apologize, Kate. Water under the bridge and all that jazz." He picked up his pencil and asked, "Now...what were you thinking for this next tattoo?"

     Kate chewed on her bottom lip. "This is going to sound really weird but I’d like a hawk and a mockingbird."

     America smiled. "That’s not the weirdest request I’ve heard."

     "Certainly not the oddest I’ve had. Do you know what type of hawk you’d like?" Steve asked, glancing over at her as he dragged his sketchpad over.

     "A red tailed one. I really liked your watercolor style." Kate said, shifting slightly so she was seated a bit more stably.

     Steve nodded and made a few notes. "Where are we putting them? Back, side, hip, where?"

     "Well, my Howling Commandos tattoo is on my right hip so not there. I’m open to suggestions."

     "Do the two have to be together or can they be apart?"

     "I don’t really care. They can be apart or together, whichever you think looks best.."

     Steve nodded and did a few rough sketches as he thought about placement. America shifted from her seat in the corner and asked, "If you’re doing them separate, what about having the hawk be a sternum tattoo and have the mockingbird on the back of your neck? Or vice-versa if you prefer."

     "That could work." Steve murmured, shifting and roughly sketching out the image forming in his head. A hawk’s wings spread and curled so that they would follow the curve of the underside of Kate’s breasts. A mockingbird perched on a branch, staring off to the side. He was vaguely aware of Kate and America talking to each other behind him but he fell into his work-mode and managed to block the details of their conversation out. When he was done with both sketches, he turned around and blinked in surprise when he saw Kate and America flirting unabashedly. America glanced over at him and he could see her cheeks darken slightly when she realized he was paying attention. Steve cleared his throat and, turning his attention to Kate, said, "Take a look at these, Kate. If you don’t like it, I can fiddle with it a bit more."

     Kate took his sketchbook and grinned. "These are amazing, Steve! Much better than what I was thinking."

     "The proportions are a bit wonky but I didn’t use reference pics so that’s kind of expected." Steve said, rubbing the back of his neck. He looked over at her and asked, "What colors were you thinking for the Mockingbird? The hawk should, traditionally, be reds and browns but it’s ultimately up to you."

     "Shades of blue for the mockingbird; shades of red and hints of brown for the hawk." Kate said, handing the sketchpad back to Steve.

      Steve checked the clock and said, "Alright, we’re out of time for this one but we can do another consult with actual sketches and work out the placement. Just stop by the front with Darcy or Peter and schedule it."

     Kate nodded and, stealing a glance at America, hopped off the lounger. "I’ll see you around, Steve. Tell Sarge I said hi."

    Steve smiled slightly. "Will do, Kate." Once Kate left the room, Steve turned around and started cleaning up his station.

     "I’ll clean up, Steve. I know you’ve got a date tonight." America said, smiling slightly.

     "You sure?" Steve asked, looking over at her.

     "Yeah, of course. It’s part of my learning experience after all. Besides, I’m sure that Peggy will check that I’ve done everything right." America said, standing and brushing her hands off on her shorts.

     Steve nodded and started to pack up his things. "Thank you, America."

     "No problem, Bossman. I was actually surprised you came in today." America said, packing away her own things.

     "Why is everyone so surprised I actually showed up to work today?" Steve murmured, rolling his eyes and heading out front with America. Steve ducked behind the front desk and packed away his laptop and sketchbook into his messenger bag. Peter was filling out appointment information on the computer and Darcy was no where to be found.

     The door chimed and Steve heard America say, "Good evening, sir, anything I can help you with?"

     Steve zipped up his bag and, as he started to stand, heard a familiar voice. "Nope. I’m just here to pick up my boyfriend."

     "Oh?" America asked, obviously curious. Steve stood up quickly and bashed the back of his head on the desk. Cursing, he held his head and crumpled back down onto the ground. Pain blossomed from where his skull had made contact with the hardwood and his eyes crossed for a moment. Yeah, that was more painful than it had been the last time. Note to self: never fucking stand up without checking where the hell the desk is.

     "Holy shit, Steve?!" America yelped, moving to his side.

     Steve waved her off and hauled himself up. "Okay, yeah. Hitting head on desk still hurts like a motherfucker."

     "You okay, scumpule?" Bucky asked, frowning.

     Steve shouldered his bag and rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah. I’m fine. What are you doing here?"

    Bucky held up a bag of take out from Styrka. "You didn’t have much in the apartment in the way of dinner type food so I got us take-out. Since I was in the neighborhood and I knew you would be getting off soon, I figured I’d stop by to pick you up. I texted you about it like an hour ago..."

     Peter and America shared a glance as Steve dug his phone out of his pocket. Sure enough, there was the text, along with a few others that Bucky had sent throughout the day. "Oh. I guess I didn’t feel it vibrate when I was sketching out Kate’s tattoos."

     "Ah, that explains a lot. You ready to go?"

     "Yeah, I was about to  head out, actually." Steve shoved his phone back into his pocket and looked up at his boyfriend with a small smile. He glanced over at Peter and America, who were looking between him and Bucky with identical looks of shock. Steve cleared his throat and said, "Alright. Uh...I’m just gonna...go." Steve rounded the front desk and grabbed Bucky’s hand on his way past. Bucky chuckled softly and followed Steve out the door without protest.

     Once they were on the street, Bucky said, "I guess today was busy."

     "A bit." Steve squeezed Bucky's hand. "I'm sorry about that. In the shop. You just surprised me."

     "It's okay, scumpule. I understand. Honestly, I should've called instead of texting you." Bucky said, rubbing his thumb along Steve's hand.

    "I'm not mad or anything just...call next time because I don’t always look at my texts." Steve looked up at Bucky and smiled. "How was your day?"

    Bucky grinned. "It was good. I had lunch with Becca and mapped out a route to run in the morning. Visited the park for a bit and just people watched. It’s odd having so much time to myself with nothing to do."

    Steve turned the corner and crossed the street. "Do you have a hobby?"

    Bucky hummed softly. "Other than tearing apart things and rebuilding them, not anything that I could legally do on leave."

    "Hmm, well, Monday we’ll be getting the bike out of storage so you could use Logan’s shop or one of Tony’s garages to tinker with it after that. Or, if you want to spar or something, you can go hang out at SHIELD and spar with Natasha or Maria. They’re always looking for new challenges. And I think Tony has a gun range on one of the basement levels so you could always go shooting if you want."

    "I’ll think about it, pisoiul meu." Bucky murmured as he kissed the back of Steve’s hand, causing Steve to blush a pretty shade of scarlet.

    They walked in comfortable silence the rest of the way home. Steve knew he should've paid more attention to their pace and his chest but he really didn't want to slow down. By the time they got up the stairs to his floor, he could feel his chest tightening to the point where, if he didn’t take a puff from his inhaler soon, it wouldn’t end well for him. He dug his inhaler out of his pocket and shook it a few times while Bucky was unlocking the door. He popped the cap off and breathed out as steadily as he could before he brought it to his mouth. Years of having to use an inhaler of some sort meant that he’d managed to perfect the whole "squeeze the inhaler down so the medicine releases and breathe in through your mouth at the same time" thing. He held his breath for a few beats and slowly let out his breathe; relief washing over him as his chest unclenched.

    Bucky looked over at him and eyed him cautiously. "You okay?"

    "Yeah. I just forgot what walking the entire way home does to me." Steve said, waving it off and pushing the door open. Bucky grunted softly and followed Steve inside the apartment. Steve dropped his keys and his wallet in the bowl on his way to his bedroom. He kicked off his shoes and dropped his bag on his bed. He was just considering flopping face first into his duvet when Bucky padded in behind him and wrapped his arms around him. Steve hummed softly and held on to his arms.

    Bucky buried his face into Steve’s shoulder and murmured, "I could hear your breathing go weird as we were walking, you know. Why didn’t you tell me to stop earlier? I tried to slow us down but you just kinda...plowed ahead."

    Steve shut his eyes and leaned into his boyfriend. He debated for a moment if he should tell Bucky what he had been thinking or if he should just fib. Bucky nuzzled his shoulder and Steve sighed softly. Fibbing wouldn’t help anything and besides, Buck could probably see through it anyway. Steve reached up and ran his fingers through Bucky’s hair. "This is going to sound stupid but...I didn’t want you to think I was weak. I know walking that much is really easy for you and I just...I didn’t..."

    Bucky’s arms tightened around Steve for a moment before they slackened again. "I understand, scumpule. I don’t agree with it, but I understand." He pressed a kiss to Steve’s jaw. "And, Steve…" He nuzzled the side of Steve’s face and murmured, "Just so you know, I will never think you are weak. You’re one of the strongest men I know."

    "I’m not strong...not like you." Steve murmured, turning away from Bucky a little.

    Bucky sighed and moved around to sit on the bed in front of Steve. He took his boyfriend’s hands and waited until Steve was looking at him before he spoke. "Steve…" He sighed and looked up at Steve with a crooked smile. "Jesus, Stevie, I wasn’t talking about physical strength. Though, I do believe you are strong in that sense too because you couldn’t’ve survived this long without being strong. Your strength comes from your character and your beliefs. You show it through how hard you fight for what you know is right. You’re strong because you, ultimately, believe everyone has some good in them and that even the bad guys can be changed. You are strong, Steve. Much stronger than me."

    Steve blushed and looked down. "Buck…"

    "Your strength is one of the main things that made me fall in love with you."

    "Really?" Steve murmured, peeking through his eyelashes at Bucky.

    "Yes." Bucky said, pulling Steve close. He smiled when Steve brought his hands up to his shoulders to steady himself. He reached up and cupped Steve’s cheek. "You’re amazing, Steve."

    Steve’s blush deepened and, shutting his eyes, he leaned into Bucky’s hand. He didn’t know how to deal with what Bucky had just told him. No one had ever said they thought Steve was strong. They may have thought it but they never told him. He never realized just how much he needed to hear that until now. God, when was the last time he felt this bare in front of someone? He opened his eyes and looked over at his boyfriend, who was smiling gently. Steve smiled and, leaning forward, kissed Bucky. He’d planned for it to be short and sweet. But as they say, the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Before he knew it, he had his hand buried in Bucky’s hair and Bucky had tucked his hands into the back pockets of Steve’s shorts. Steve nipped gently at his boyfriend’s bottom lip, causing his boyfriend to moan softly, and murmured, "Could eat you up…"

    Bucky cursed softly and pulled away from Steve. "Food."

    Steve blinked, confused. "What?"

    "Food, the...we need to eat and get ready. We’re meeting with Phil and his boyfriend in like an hour." Bucky said, shaking his head and removing his hands from Steve’s ass.

    Steve groaned and, stepping back, murmured to himself, "Right...Right, food. And a double date with Phil. Gotta be responsible and show up on time."

    Bucky smiled slightly and stood up. Shooting his boyfriend a strained smile, Steve turned and headed back into the kitchen with Bucky trailing behind him. Steve grabbed the box marked with his name and made his way to the dining room, grabbing a fork on his way. He was aware that Bucky wasn’t far behind him. He sat down and dug into his food, ignoring the fact that his dick seemed to have missed the memo on the whole "gotta stop now" thing. It was only the second day of Bucky’s leave and his friends were already managing to cockblock him. He thought that he wouldn’t’ve minded as much but the whole "waiting for the right time" thing was starting to feel a little silly. Why was he doing this again? Bucky had already seen him naked and hadn’t run for the hills. He knew he wanted Bucky so why was he waiting? What was holding him back? Did he really think Bucky would leave him? Did he really think they weren’t compatible? After everything they’ve talked about? Why the hell was he so scared?

    "You okay, Stevie?" Bucky asked, drawing Steve’s attention.

    Concern was etched on Bucky’s face and Steve felt a sharp pang of guilt in his chest. He forced a smile and said, "Yeah. Yeah, I’m good. Just, got stuck in my head again."

    Bucky shot him a skeptical look but dropped it. "Do you know what the dress code is for this place?"

    Steve shrugged. "Tony didn’t say but it’s been open for a while so there should be reviews online."

    Bucky pulled out his phone and did a quick Google search. "Looks like the dress code is typical for one of these places. Some are dressed in slacks but jeans are the most prevalent."

    "So, basically, don’t show up naked or in your pjs." Steve said, shutting the lid of his empty food container.

    Bucky chuckled softly. "Pretty much."

    "Alright, I’m going to go get changed. You gonna call the cab?" Bucky nodded and tapped a few times on his phone. Steve pushed himself away from the table and headed back to his room, tossing his container in the trash on the way there.

    He walked over to his closet and opened it. Scanning his clothes, he groaned internally and shifted through the hangers before he finally decided on a pair of his nicer black jeans and a light blue button up. Steve grabbed a fresh pair of underwear from the dresser without looking and tossed it on the bed along with his clothes. He stripped and tossed his clothes into the hamper, making a mental note to do laundry on Monday. Glancing back at his clothes, he saw that he’d accidentally grabbed the baby blue pair of silk and lace panties Darcy made him buy. He glanced at his dresser and debated for a moment if he should grab a different pair. After a moment’s consideration, he shrugged and pulled them on. No use trying to get out of it, he’d soon be wearing them often enough anyway so he might as well get used to it. He put deodorant on and pulled on his shirt. He’d just pulled on his pants and tucked his shirt into them when Bucky opened the door.

    Bucky smiled slightly at him and said, "Cab’ll be here in twenty."

    Nodding, Steve buttoned and zipped up his pants. He turned to Bucky and held his arms out to the side a little. "How do I look?"

    Bucky eyed his boyfriend for a moment. "A little stuffy. Roll up the sleeves, unbutton a few buttons, and do something with your hair then you’ll look like you actually belong in a club like Budapest."

    Steve rolled his eyes as he rolled up his sleeves. "I’m not unbuttoning my shirt any further. I’ve got no real definition to my chest so I’ll just look weird. The hair I will concede because it’s laying a little weird today."

    "You’ve got a chest-"

    "Well obviously but I don’t have defined chest muscles." Steve said, heading past his boyfriend and towards the bathroom. "Not all of us can be insanely ripped, Buck."

    Bucky snorted and started stripping out of his clothes. "I prefer you scrawny, scumpule."

    "Well, I’m glad one of us does." Steve muttered, wetting his toothbrush. He squeezed a bit of toothpaste onto it before he started to brush his teeth. He glanced over at Bucky and paused when he saw Bucky zipping up a pair of dark blue jeans that hugged his ass and thighs. His gaze travelled up his boyfriend’s body, taking in everything that he’d tried to avoid appreciating last night and this morning. It didn’t surprise him that Bucky had a six-pack. However, the short, dark curls that disappeared into his waistband and that covered his chest did. Logically, Steve knew that body hair was a normal thing to have and that it wasn’t something all that fascinating. But when one is not used to seeing it and when one does not have much of it themself, it is a bit fascinating to look at. At least, it was for him.

    Bucky glanced over at him and shot him a mischievous grin. "Like what you see, pisoiul meu?"

    "You have chest hair and a happy trail…." Steve unthinkingly mumbled around his toothbrush.

    Bucky raised an eyebrow at Steve. "Yes. I do."

    Steve blushed and turned away to spit in the sink. He glanced over at Bucky and said, "You didn’t have them in the photos."

    Bucky looked down and chuckled. He grabbed his t-shirt and, pulling it over his head, said "Yeah, I used to shave them but it got a bit annoying to keep up with after a while." He sat down on the bed and pulled on his shoes. As he was tying them, he looked over at Steve and said, "I keep the happy trail and my pubic hair trimmed short but I don’t shave anymore. That okay?"

    Steve nodded and went back to brushing his teeth while Bucky finished getting ready. Once he’d finished brushing his teeth, he started fiddling with his hair using the hair wax that Natasha had gotten him a while back. She swore by it and had assured him that it was all she used whenever she cut her hair in a pixie cut. He didn’t know much about hair products but whatever it was that she’d gotten him, it did work pretty well. When he was satisfied with how his hair looked, he wandered back into his room and shoved his feet into his black boots. As he bent over to lace them up, Bucky wolf-whistled from his position on the bed. Steve flipped him off, causing Bucky to laugh, and finished tying his shoes. He straightened up and turned towards his boyfriend, who was watching him with a small smile. Steve grabbed his jacket and said, "Cab should be here, yeah?"

    Bucky nodded and, grabbing his own jacket, said, "You do look good."

    "Thank y-...are you wearing eyeliner?"

    Bucky blushed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Old habit."

    Steve grinned. "It looks good. C’mon, Buck." Steve took Bucky’s hand and pulled him towards the door, only stopping to grab his stuff from the hall table. Bucky locked the door behind them and they headed down to the street. Their cabbie was waiting for them and they slid into the backseat. When the cabbie asked where they were going, Bucky told him as Steve pulled his phone out to text Phil that they were on their way. Once the text had been sent, he reached up and adjusted the volume on his hearing aids. No use blowing his eardrums. The cab ride over was fairly mundane. Bucky talked to the cabbie about baseball while Steve fiddled with Bucky’s fingers and traced patterns on his palm. When they arrived, Bucky paid the cabbie and they headed to the door, completely bypassing the line like Tony told them to. A few of the people in the line grumbled as they walked by but no one said anything to them directly. At least, not until they got to the front and they handed the bouncer, a guy that Steve vaguely recognized, their licenses.

    As he was checking them against the VIP list, one of the girls at the front said, "Excuse you, the back of the line is that way." She hooked her thumb over her shoulder. "You fags’re nothing special. Ya gotta wait in line like the rest of us."

    The bouncer gave Bucky and Steve their licenses back and, as they were returning their licences to their wallets, turned to the woman. "Personal friends of the club owner don’t have to wait in line. You, however, can leave now because I’m not going to let you in. Tonight or ever." The bouncer ignored the woman’s sputtering and turned back to Steve with a smile. "Go on in, guys. The VIP section’s in the back, up the stairs. Groot’ll let you up, he knows all the VIP’s for tonight by sight."

    Steve smiled slightly and took Bucky’s hand as they walked through the door to the club. Bucky glanced back at the woman, who was now arguing with the bouncer, and said, "That happen often?"

    "Often enough that I don’t let it bother me anymore. I can’t go on a two hour tirade every time I get called a fag outside of one of Tony’s clubs." Steve said, weaving his way through the mass of people towards the back of the club.

    "Does the bouncer know you?"

    "Probably. Pretty sure that Riley did his tattoos; I think his name is Rocket." Steve said, leading them by the bar.

    "Bucky?!" A familiar voice shouted over the thrum of the music.

    Bucky looked over and grinned. "Clint! Hey!" Steve smiled as Bucky gave Clint a one-armed hug. When he pulled back he said, "Clint, this is Steve. We were just headed to the back."

    "Awesome. Nice to finally meet you, Steve. Sarge talks about you near non-stop." Clint said, shaking Steve’s free hand. The faded purple tee Clint wore was stretched taut across his chest and showed off a pair of biceps that Steve would've sworn were as thick as his waist. And the pair of dark jeans he was wearing fit him like a second skin. Not to mention the fact that his smile and his face were just as killer as Bucky's. No wonder Bucky had had an arrangement with him for a while. Even from just an artist's standpoint, Steve could admit that Clint was an attractive man.

    Steve plastered on a grin as a spike of jealousy tore through him again. "I've heard quite a bit about you too, Clint. It's nice to finally meet you. Thanks for keeping this knucklehead safe."

    Clint smiled and said, "It's not a problem, Steve. I'll always make sure this dummy gets back to you in one piece."

    Steve blinked, surprised by Clint's promise and the sincerity in his voice and expression. Bucky cleared his throat and said, "What are you doing here? I thought you'd be out on the dance floor with Boss by now."

    Clint turned to Bucky and said, "I’m just waiting for Boss and mine’s drinks."

    Bucky looked around. "Where is this Boss character?"

    "Upstairs. He didn’t explain how we got on the VIP list but I tend to not question shit with him. He just does this weird know-it-all smile that makes me want to kiss him and punch him at the same time." Clint replied, grinning.

    "Buck, why don’t you get us drinks and I’ll go find Phil?" Steve said, looking up at his boyfriend.

    Bucky turned and looked down at him, frowning slightly. "You sure, scumpule?"

    "Yeah, catch up with Clint and I’ll go find Phil."

    "Alright. What do you want?"

    "A jack and coke is fine, I’d rather not piss off the bartender by getting my usual." Steve said, standing on his tiptoes and kissing Bucky’s cheek. "I’ll see you in a few." He tried to slip away but Bucky pulled him back and kissed him soundly. Steve chuckled and nipped at Bucky’s bottom lip before he backed away and headed towards the back of the room. He found who he assumed was Groot, and was let through up the stairs. It didn’t take long for him to find Phil. The man was leaning against the railing that allowed the VIP section to look down on the main dance floor.

    Steve slid up beside him and said, "Tony did a good job with this place, huh?"

    Phil smiled kindly and said, "That he did. He also managed to have the VIP section not be too affected by the music downstairs. Not sure how but I wouldn’t put it past him to have invented some sort of gadget to take care of that." He glanced around and frowned minutely. "Where’s Bucky?"

    "Downstairs getting us drinks. Ran into a friend of his at the bar."

    "Ah, I see. How’ve you been by the way? We haven’t talked much lately."

    "I’m doing well. The shop’s still busy as fuck but eh, we’ll deal. The interns are coming along nicely. You?"

    "I’m doing well. Natasha banned me from the gym for the week but it’s a good trade off." Phil smiled slightly. "Hawk’s certainly enjoying it."

    Steve snorted. "I’m sure Buck wishes they would ban me from the shop."

    "I’m sure Barnes is just happy that he gets to spend time with you, Steve. At least he seems cognizant of the fact that you have a day job that you enjoy."

    "Hawk isn’t?"

    "Hawk can’t see how I could be content with running a gym and training fighters after what I used to do." Phil looked down at the dance floor again. "I love him, but he can be a bit bullheaded. He thinks I deserve more than what I got."

    "Sounds like that’s something that he’s got in common with Bucky." Steve said, smiling.

    "Why don’t we go sit down?" Phil suggested, motioning to the cluster of couches and coffee tables behind them.

    Steve nodded and followed him back to the corner area Tony had reserved for them. Steve sank down into the couch and chuckled as he kicked his feet up on the coffee table. He made a mental note to tell Pepper want an amazing job she had done with the decor. He and Phil talked a bit about their mutual friends and basically just relaxed until their boyfriends joined them. Bucky settled into the empty space beside Steve and handed him his Jack and Coke. Steve shot him a grateful look and took a small sip as Bucky shifted to get comfortable. Steve looked over at Phil and was surprised to see Clint handing him a bottle of beer. He glanced over at Bucky, who shot him an equally as surprised look and shrugged.

    "I’m sure you two are already acquainted with Clint." Phil murmured, smirking slightly as he took a drag from his beer.

    Steve blinked owlishly and stared at Clint. The sniper smiled slightly and leaned back into the couch. He took a swig of his beer and said, "We were wondering when you two were going to figure it out. Everyone else did."

    "To be fair, it took Tony until last week. Natasha was the first to figure it out then Riley and Sam." Phil said, leaning back and resting his arm on the back of the couch behind Clint’s head.

    "Technically Melinda was the first to figure it out but she worked with us so that doesn’t quite count." Clint said, grinning.

    "Well, I’m officially a dumbass. I should’ve recognized Hawk as the shortened form your nickname." Bucky said, shaking his head.

    "Don’t feel too bad, Sarge. No one thought you or Steve would notice. Not when you two were so wrapped up in each other." Clint said, grinning and resting his free hand on Phil’s thigh.

    Steve groaned softly and leaned into Bucky, who merely wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "No one at the shop is going to let me live this down." He looked at Phil. "How the hell did Tony figure it out?"

    "Tony bribed it out of Pepper. Something about financing a month of vacation for her and Natasha to wherever they’d like to go." Phil said, raising an eyebrow and smiling slightly.

    "Huh. Okay then." Steve murmured. He took a sip of his drink and said, "Well, as long as you’re both happy, I guess it doesn’t matter that Buck and I aren’t the most observant couple in our friend group."

    Bucky looked at Clint and raised an eyebrow. "So, I’m guessing that’s where all the photos of Phil that Steve sent me disappeared to."

    "Yeah." Clint said, shrugging. "Figured you wouldn’t miss any of them since none of them had Steve in them."

    Bucky chuckled. "Yeah, I really didn’t." He glanced at Phil. "No offense, Coulson."

    Phil smiled slightly. "None taken, Barnes." He paused then added, "You know, if you want, you can come by the gym and work out. I’m sure some of the others would appreciate the challenge of a new sparring partner."

    Steve smiled and reached up to intertwine his fingers with Bucky’s as his boyfriend asked Phil questions about the gym. The music and Bucky’s voice washed over Steve and lulled him into a relaxed daze. He watched the other VIP patrons mingle and dance to the music. Well, if you could call it dancing. He’d never really understood the whole grinding dance movements that were so popular. He preferred swing dancing and other ballroom style dancing but he figured that there must be something to the whole "let’s simulate sex on the dance floor with as little clothing as possible" thing that was going on right now. Maybe it would make more sense if he didn’t have a thing about being touched.

    He took another absentminded sip of his drink, which was now about half-empty, and looked back at the group. Phil and Bucky had switched topics and were talking about MMA while Clint looked at the dance floor wistfully. Steve frowned and downed the rest of his drink before letting go of Bucky’s hand and leaning forward to set his empty glass down. "Clint?"

    Clint looked over at him and shot him a guilty smile. "Yeah?"

    "Wanna dance?" Steve wasn’t quite sure what made him ask but the fact that Clint’s entire face lit up was worth it. He may be a bit jealous of Clint's looks and the past he had with Bucky but he wasn't going to let that stop him from making friends with one of Buckys closest friends. He wasn't that petty. Clint looked over at Phil, silently asking permission. Phil glanced at Steve, who held his hands up. "Not trying to steal him, Phil. I’ve got my own sniper, remember?" Steve smiled slightly. "Besides, you and Buck are talking pretty in depth about...whatever. And Clint looked bored. Figured dancing was better than stilted small-talk."

    Phil nodded. "Alright."

    Steve looked over at Bucky, who was smiling gently at him. Bucky nodded his head towards the dance floor downstairs. "Go on. Have fun. I'll probably join you two later."

    With a nod, Steve stood and stretched his hands over his head until his back gave a satisfying pop as it realigned. He reached out and grabbed Clint's wrist. Clint laughed and followed Steve down the stairs, bouncing like an over excited puppy. Steve braced himself ands they entered the mob of people on the dance floor. Quite a few people brushed against him as he wound his way through the crowd but he managed to block them out.

    Eventually, Clint stopped them and turned Steve around so they could dance face to face. Steve moved awkwardly at first but eventually found his rhythm. Clint grinned brightly as they danced and seemed to make sure that not a lot of people actually brushed up against Steve. Steve was grateful for that, even if it wasn't intentional. As Clint spun them around, Steve had to admit, dancing with Clint was pretty damn fun. A few songs in, he bent closer to Steve and asked, loud enough for him to hear, "Need a break?"

    Steve nodded. "And a drink. Water."

    Clint chuckled and herded Steve back to the bar. Once he’d ordered their drinks with the bartender, he turned back to Steve and said, "Thank you."

    Steve cocked his head to the side. "For what?"

    "For asking me to dance. Boss…" Clint looked down and chuckled softly. "Boss doesn’t dance much. Not in public, anyway."

    "Phil’s not much of a club person in general." Steve said, smiling slightly.

    "Yeah, the only reason why he agreed to meet you two here is because I wanted to come here." Clint said, taking his beer from the bartender and handing Steve his glass of water.

    Steve took a long sip of his drink. "You know he really does love you. Right?"

    Clint flushed but nodded. "Yeah. I know. Don’t think I deserve it but...I know he does." Clint took a swig of his beer. "Did Becca give you the shovel talk?"

    "No. Not really. I mean, she told me that if I hurt Bucky she’d be angry with me. Why?"

    "Because she gave Bucky the shovel talk about you. In fact, every single one of your friends gave him the shovel talk over Facebook. Hell, even most of our squad said that if he fucked it up, they’d give him shit for it."

    "Seriously?" Steve scowled. "I told them that they didn’t need to do that. Bucky’s not going to hurt me and, even if he does, that’s between the two of us."

    Clint nodded. "I understand, which is why I didn’t give him the shovel talk and why I don’t plan on giving you the shovel talk either. Look, I don’t know what Buck’s told you about our relationship-"

    "That you’re very good friends who used to fuck on occasion." Steve said, raising an eyebrow.

    Clint shot him a sheepish look. "Yeah. I hope you won't hold that against me."

    Steve took another long sip from his glass, using the time to consider how he wanted to answer. He looked back over at Clint and said, "I can't. I will admit to being jealous of you though."

    Clint smiled kindly. "It was just sex, Steve. You'll have it a thousand times better because there are romantic feelings."

    "I just don't understand how he can go from you to me and actually be okay with how I look." Steve admitted, looking down at his glass.

    Clint snorted and took a swig of his beer. "He likes slim guys, Steve. You are very much his type; I'm the deviation from the norm.”

    “But you’re…” Steve flapped his free hand in Clint’s general direction. “Like, holy shit, your proportions... I would’ve killed to have you as a life model in college.”

    Clint chuckled. “Yeah. But just because I’m what you expect him to want, doesn’t mean that I’m the type of guy he actually wants, Steve.”

    “I guess.” Steve mumbled before he downed the rest of his water. He set his empty glass on the bar and turned to Clint with a smile. “You ready to get back out there?”

    Clint nodded and finished his beer before taking Steve’s hand and leading him back onto the dance floor. Steve lost count of how many songs they danced to because everything kind of blended together. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt an arm circle his waist. He whipped around, arm half-cocked and ready to punch the person behind him, only to find his boyfriend smiling at him. Bucky shouted over the music, “Hey there, gorgeous.”

    Steve rolled his eyes and shouted, “I damn near decked you, Buck. Warn me next time.”

    Bucky smiled sheepishly and leaned down to press a kiss against Steve’s cheek. “I’m sorry, scumpule.”

    Steve’s harrumph was lost in the music. “Apology accepted. What’re you doing out here?”

    “I wanted to dance with my boyfriend.” Bucky said, shifting closer to him. Steve grinned and turned around, pressing his back against Bucky. Bucky laughed and held onto his hips as they swayed to the music. Steve glanced back over at Clint and was surprised to see Phil dancing with Clint. Well, he figured it passed for dancing. One of Phil’s hand rested on Clint’s hip while the other rested on the back of Clint’s neck, reeling him in for a kiss as they rocked to the beat. Clint clung to Phil and grinned happily as he kissed his boyfriend. Steve felt Bucky lean over before he said, “Phil was getting a bit jealous of you two. He knows that nothing was happening and that nothing will but hey, jealousy isn’t that rational.”

    Steve looked over at him and kissed his cheek. Bucky grinned and nuzzled Steve’s temple as they danced. Steve intertwined his fingers with Bucky’s and rested the back of his head on Bucky’s shoulder. Shutting his eyes, Steve allowed himself to just enjoy being wrapped up in Bucky and let Bucky lead the movements of their hips to the music. He wasn’t quite sure how long they swayed to the beat, but a few songs later Clint caught their attention and shouted over the music, “We’re headed home. We’ll have to hang out again sometime. Somewhere that’s not a club.”

    “Alright. Just text either one of us and we’ll set it up.” Steve said, smiling slightly. Clint nodded as Phil practically dragged him off of the dance floor. Bucky laughed as Clint nearly tripped on their way out and Steve elbowed him in the ribs. “Don’t laugh. It’s rude.”

    “Alright, scumpule.” Bucky said and pressed a kiss to Steve’s jaw. Steve tilted his head and caught Bucky’s lips before he was able to pull away. Bucky nipped at Steve’s bottom lip and pulled him back flush against him. Freeing one of his hands, Steve reached up and tangled his hand in Bucky’s hair. He tugged lightly which caused Bucky to moan softly into the kiss. Steve smirked and ground back against Bucky’s groin. Bucky cursed under his breath and tightened his grip on Steve’s hips. “Damnit, scumpule. Boners in public are not something I enjoy dealing with.”

    Steve pulled away and looked at Bucky with a coy smile. “Then let’s get home so we can deal with it in private.”

    Bucky eyed him cautiously. “You sure?”

    Steve nodded and pressed a kiss to Bucky’s jaw. “I want you, Buck.”

    “You don’t have to, Steve. I don’t...I can deal with it on my own. You don’t have to do something you’re not comfortable with just because I’m horny.”

    Steve turned around in Bucky’s arms and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s neck. Pulling him down closer so that he didn’t have to shout over the music, he said, “Buck, we don’t have to jump straight to anal or do anything either of us isn’t comfortable with. But I do want to go home and I do want to help you with this.” Steve let one of his hands drift down and brush against the bulge that was beginning to form in Bucky’s jeans. “If you want me to.”

    Bucky pulled away and looked at him for a moment, obviously searching to see if Steve was being serious. Steve smiled nervously, hoping he hadn’t mis-read his boyfriend. Bucky sighed and leaned in so that he didn’t have to shout. “Of course I want you to. Let’s get out of here, it’s far too loud to be talking about this here.”

    Steve nodded and motioned to the exit. “Lead the way, Soldier.”

    Keeping his arm around Steve’s waist, Bucky steered them towards the exit. Steve chuckled and tucked his hand into the back pocket of Bucky’s jeans. His boyfriend glanced over at him and winked. Steve felt light-headed, but not in the “oh shit, I’m going to pass out soon” kind of way; it was more along the lines of “oh fuck, I’m so in love with this guy and I'm pretty sure we're gonna have some sort of sex when we get home.” He briefly wondered if the feeling could be related to the alcohol he’d had earlier but brushed it off. He’d only had one drink and, while it had been rather strong and he was a bit of a lightweight when it came to alcohol, he knew this wasn’t what he felt like when he was buzzed or tipsy. This was more along the lines of the first time Peggy had kissed him or one of the multiple times he and Sam had made out on the couch back in high school.

    They ducked out of the club and Bucky flagged down a cab for them. The cool night air stung Steve’s lungs a little as he inhaled deeply. The sting wasn’t sharp enough for him to worry about his lungs seizing up but it did wake him up a bit. When the cab pulled up, Bucky opened the back door and Steve slid inside, settling against the opposite door. Buck slid in after him and, shutting the door, gave the driver Steve’s address. Steve smiled to himself, months of writing his address did have some pay off. As the driver pulled onto the road, Bucky relaxed into the seat and rested his arm on the back of the seat. Steve curled into his side, causing Bucky to wrap an arm around him and press a kiss to his temple.

    Steve tilted his head back and dragged Bucky down for a heated kiss. Normally, he would’ve hated making out in the backseat of a cab but right now he couldn’t care less. He wanted to kiss his boyfriend so he was going to do so. Bucky shifted so they weren't as twisted and cupped Steve's jaw, deepening the kiss. Steve hated that he groaned when Bucky's hand drifted down and his thumb pressed against the hickey he had given Steve earlier but he couldn't have stopped the noise, not when he was that distracted by Bucky's mouth. And if asked, he would deny that he ran his hand up the inside of Bucky's thigh and deliberately brushed the back of his fingers along Bucky's fly as retaliation. And truthfully, the little whine Bucky made in the back of his throat as they kissed was probably the most erotic thing he'd ever heard.

    The driver's gruff voice cut through the haze. "Hey, Bert and Ernie, no sex in the backseat. This isn't that kind of cab."

    Steve pulled away from his boyfriend and, blushing, breathlessly said, "Apologies, sir."

    "Just keep it in your pants, guys."

    Steve glanced at Bucky, mortified, and Bucky bit his lip like he was holding back a laugh. Steve rolled his eyes and smiled through his embarrassment. It was a bit funny after all and before long they were both laughing while their poor driver grumbled about not getting paid enough to deal with horny drunk people. Steve buried his face in Bucky's shoulder to stifle his laughter while Bucky stroked his hair and tried to control his own giggles. The rest of the ride wasn't very eventful; they kept their hands to themselves, mostly, and kept whatever kisses they did exchange as chaste as possible.

    When they arrived, Steve paid the driver and gave him a larger than average tip before he climbed out of the cab. Bucky shut the cab door after him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders as they walked towards the front door. Steve unlocked the front door and they headed inside. Steve tucked his hand into Bucky's back pocket as they walked up the stairs and, glancing over at his boyfriend, hesitantly squeezed. Bucky nearly missed the step and looked over at him. Steve smiled innocently, causing Bucky to snort and roll his eyes. “Behave, scumpule. I’d rather not scar your neighbors.”

    Steve chuckled as they continued up the stairs. “Fair enough.”

    When they reached the front door, Steve unlocked it and headed inside with Bucky trailing behind him. He tossed his keys and his wallet in the bowl as Bucky lock the door and, when he turned around, Bucky was leaning against the door just watching him. Steve raised an eyebrow and asked, "You okay?"

    "Yeah, just taking in the view." Bucky replied, raking his gaze over Steve's body.

    Steve blushed and looked down at himself. He glanced up at Bucky. "Like what you see?"

    Bucky pushed himself off the door and strode towards him. "Let me put it this way. Even if ten thousand painters worked for ten thousand years," Bucky stopped in front of him and cupped his cheek. Smiling gently, he continued, "None of them could create a work of art as gorgeous as you."

    Steve felt like his entire body had gone as red as a lobster. He ducked his head to hide his grin and swayed towards his boyfriend. God that was sappy. How drunk was Bucky to be that sappy? Looking up, Steve eyed his boyfriend seriously and asked, "How many beers did you have?"

    “Two. And I had two glasses of water to offset it. Unlike Hawkeye and Coulson, I am aware of what I need to do to not have a hangover the next day.” Smiling, Bucky rested his forehead against Steve’s and murmured, “That said, what I said was the truth, Stevie. I think you’re fucking gorgeous and I want you so badly right now. I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything and...And if you decide that you’re not ready to do...whatever the hell it was we were going to do, then I’ll wait. I’ve waited this long, I can wait longer if you change your mind."

    Steve pulled away and looked up at Bucky. His boyfriend just smiled and stroked his cheek. Steve searched his face for any sign of . . .anything. Deceit, intoxication, a sliver of doubt, anything that might hint at him having some sort of reservations. But all he found was love and open honesty in his boyfriend’s bright blue eyes. Smiling, Steve pulled Bucky down for a short kiss. He pulled away just enough to murmur, "I want you too, Buck. Let’s just take this slow. Make out like teenagers for a bit. And hopefully not cum in our jeans because that is a pain to clean."  

    Bucky grinned and nipped at Steve's bottom lip playfully. "Hand jobs then?"

    Steve chuckled and nodded. He started walking backwards towards his bedroom, pulling Bucky along with him. As they shuffled down the hall and traded kisses, Bucky pushed Steve's jacket off of his shoulders, but not all the way off, and started to unbutton his shirt, purposefully brushing Steve's nipple piercing and causing Steve to moan. In return, Steve rubbed Bucky through his jeans and silently marvelled at the little half-moans, half-whines that Bucky made. Thankfully, Monty and Ny appeared to be MIA  because, when Steve pushed his bedroom door open with his back and pulled Bucky over to the bed, they were no where in the room.

    Steve gently pushed Bucky, making the backs of his knees hit the edge of his mattress and forcing him to sit on the edge of the bed. Grinning, Steve backed away just enough to pull his jacket the rest of the way off and untuck his shirt while Bucky yanked his own jacket off as well as his shirt. Once he'd rid himself of those obstacles, Bucky pulled Steve back and kissed him hungrily; both ignored the fact that Steve’s glasses got knocked askew in the process. Steve let his eyes slip shut and buried his hands in Bucky's hair. He tugged slightly to get Bucky to bare his neck and grinned when Bucky tilted his head back and to the side to give Steve room. As Steve kissed along his jaw, Bucky opened his mouth to make a sarcastic comment only to cut himself off with a low moan when Steve kissed along his throat.

    Steve smirked against Bucky’s skin and murmured, “Cat got your tongue?”

    Bucky snorted softly. “More like my boyfriend found my weak spot.”

    “Really? Your neck?" Steve asked, pulling away to look at Bucky curiously and straighten his glasses.

    Bucky nodded and slowly unbuttoned the rest of Steve’s shirt. Looking up at his boyfriend, Bucky smiled shyly and said, “If you ever want to instantly turn me on, playing with my hair or kissing my neck is a good way to do that. Doing both at the same time pretty much guarantees me getting an instant hard-on.”

    Steve hummed softly and filed that information away for later before he leaned in to kiss Bucky again, slow and molten. He wasn't surprised when Bucky pushed his shirt off but, when the cool air of the apartment hit his overheated skin, he shivered. Bucky pulled away with a frown and shot him a questioning look. Steve blushed and chuckled softly. Running his fingers through Bucky’s hair, he said, “I’m fine, the room’s just cold.”

    Bucky wrapped an arm around Steve’s waist and hauled him closer. Nipping at his boyfriend’s jaw, he murmured, “Then maybe I should warm you up.”

    Grinning, Steve draped his arms around Bucky’s neck and crawled into his lap until he'd straddled Bucky’s hips. He took his glasses off and tossed them onto his pillow to deal with later; there was no use wearing them now and they'd be out of the way for now. Neither of them could see much anyway since the only light in the room was the moonlight that streamed in through the window. Which was something that Steve was just fine with. Kissing Bucky’s jaw, Steve murmured, “Yeah, you really should, a stór.”

    Bucky leaned to the side and reached down to untie Steve's shoes before he pulled them off, letting them fall to the floor with a loud thunk. Then he ran his hands up Steve’s legs and gripped his ass; which made Steve grin and grind against him. Steve bit back a moan when his own hard-on brushed against Bucky’s and rocked against him again, chasing that friction he knew they both needed. Bucky moaned softly and laid back onto his back, taking Steve with him. They lazily made out and grinded against each other until they were on the brink of coming.

    Steve sat up and let his hands trail down Bucky’s chest, running his fingers through the thick curls there. Groaning softly, Bucky rested his hands on Steve’s hips and tried not to buck his hips. Breathing heavily, he watched Steve run his fingers through the dark curls that dusted his chest and asked, “You really do like my chest hair, huh?”

    Steve shrugged. “I don’t have any and Sam didn’t have any when we were dating so it’s a new experience for me.”

    Bucky hummed softly and shifted to get more comfortable on the bed. “It takes a while to get used to.” Steve grinned playfully at him before he leaned over to nuzzle Bucky’s chest, chuckling softly when Bucky laughed. His boyfriend reached up to run his fingers through his hair and murmured, “You’re such a dork, Stevie.”

    Steve tilted his head to look up at his boyfriend and said, “But I’m your dork.”

    Bucky smiled softly and nodded. “Yeah, you’re my dork.”

    Steve sat up and ran his hands down Bucky’s chest to the waistband of his jeans. “If you’re half as hard as I am, then these have got to be killing you right now.”

    Bucky nodded and tucked a hand behind his head. “The teeth of my zipper are kinda digging into my dick right now, actually.”

    Steve swatted at Bucky's stomach. "Why didn't you tell me, jerk."

    "Will you accept "I was trying to prolong the sweet torture that is you dry humping me." as an answer?" Bucky asked, raising an eyebrow and smiling.

    Steve rolled his eyes and muttered, "It almost wasn't dry." He undid the button on Bucky's jeans and slowly pulled the zip down, grinning at the sigh of relief Bucky gave. He pushed Bucky’s jeans down a little and stroked him through his boxers. “Better?”

    “So much better.” Bucky said, looking up at Steve with a soft look. Without taking his eyes off of Steve’s face, he reached over and undid Steve’s jeans with one hand and pulled the zip down. When he glanced down, he inhaled sharply and his eyes went wide.

    Steve frowned. “You okay, Bucky?” Silence. “A stór?”

    “You’re…” Bucky cleared his throat and looked back up at Steve. “You’re wearing panties.”

    Steve nodded and shifted slightly. “Yeah. The boyshort ones are comfortable enough for everyday wear.” He shifted so that he was kneeling and pushed his jeans down a bit. “See, they’re silk and lace. I thought the lace would be itchy but this type isn’t.”

    Bucky nodded absently and reached out to cup Steve through the silk and lace. Blushing and biting his lower lip, Steve rocked into his boyfriend’s touch and whined when Bucky squeezed him lightly. He knew he was leaking precum but he didn’t think anything of it until Bucky swiped his thumb over the growing dampness. Sitting up and wrapping his arms around Steve’s waist, Bucky kissed along Steve’s collarbone and murmured, “Steve Rogers, you are going to be the death of me.”

    “What a way to go, though.” Steve murmured, running his fingers through Bucky’s hair. He hissed softly when Bucky nipped at his collarbone. Bucky murmured an apology against his skin and pressed gentle kisses over the skin he’d nipped at. Steve sighed softly and rested his forehead against the side of Bucky’s head, just soaking in the feeling of Bucky’s body pressed against his. He opened his mouth to ask something but his thought process was derailed when Bucky took their erections in one of his hands and slowly stroked them. Steve whimpered softly, bucking into his boyfriend’s hand, and grabbed a fistful of Bucky’s hair.

    Bucky groaned and tilted his head back to look up at Steve. His pupils were blown wide and he shot Steve a heady grin. “Like that, scumpule?”

    “Very much so. Don’t you dare stop.” Steve said, bucking his hips again.

    “Wouldn’t think of it.” Bucky murmured, speeding up his strokes.

    Steve closed his eyes and whimpered softly, heat pooling in his gut. He kissed Bucky deeply and rocked into his boyfriend’s hand. Time seemed to melt away as he focused on the feeling of Bucky’s lips moving against his and the way the calluses on Bucky’s hand felt against the sensitive underside of his cock. Feeling his orgasm building, he broke the kiss and murmured against Bucky’s lips, “Buck...Buck, I’m going to cum.”

    “So am I.” Bucky murmured, his arm tightening around Steve’s waist. A few more strokes and they were both cumming, spilling onto Bucky’s hand and hitting their stomachs. Steve slumped against Bucky, suddenly feeling drained and extremely tired. Bucky maneouvered them so that Steve was laying on the bed. He pressed a gentle kiss to the corner of Steve’s mouth and said, “Stay here. I’ll go get a washcloth.”

    Steve flopped a hand towards his nightstand and said, “Fuck that. There are baby wipes in the night stand. That’ll work for now and we can shower in the morning.”

    Bucky chuckled and walked over to the nightstand. He rummaged around until he found what he was looking for and, as he was cleaning himself up, asked, “Why do you have baby wipes in your nightstand?”

    Steve looked over at Bucky with an unamused look. “Because I don’t want to ruin my socks.”

    “Fair enough.” Bucky said, tossing his used wipe into the trash and pulling out a clean one. He knelt on the bed and carefully cleaned the cum off of Steve’s chest and cock.

    Steve watched him with a hand behind his head and murmured, “Thank you.”

    Bucky shot him a smile and said, “I like taking care of you, Steve. Getting you to let me is the hard part.”

    Steve watched Bucky chuck the soiled baby wipe in the trash and walk over to the dresser to pull out lounge pants for both of them. He had to admit that Bucky was right; Steve didn’t like people taking care of him. He tried to blame it on the fact that he didn’t like people thinking that he was weak but Bucky didn’t think he was weak. In fact, his boyfriend thought he was one of the strongest people he knew and Steve knew that Bucky was aware that he didn’t need to be looked after. Bucky really did just want to take care of him. Not because he didn’t think Steve was capable, but because he enjoyed taking care of people. Pushing himself up onto his elbows, he watched Bucky change into a pair of black lounge pants and said, “I’m sorry that I’m such a hardhead. I didn’t get it before but...I think I do now.”

    Pausing, Bucky turned around and shot Steve a confused look. “Get what?”

    Steve looked down at his chest and frowned minutely. “Why you like taking care of me. It’s not because you think I can’t; it’s just...you.”

    Bucky smiled slightly and tossed Steve a pair of flannel pajama pants. “Stevie, I feel the need to take care of you because I love you. Simple as that. Given your history, I understand why you would misconstrue that as me thinking you’re not capable but I want to assure you that I know damn well that you’re capable of taking care of yourself.”

    Smiling softly, Steve wiggled the rest of the way out of his jeans and pulled on the flannel pants as Bucky picked up their clothes and tossed them in the hamper. When Bucky walked over and picked up his jeans, Steve caught him by the hand and pulled him into a chaste kiss. Pulling away, he murmured, “I love you.”

    Bucky pecked him on the mouth again and said, “I love you too, Steve.” He pulled away long enough to toss Steve’s jeans into the hamper before he crawled back onto the bed, hovering over Steve. He leaned down and kissed Steve thoroughly, causing Steve to whine when he pulled away. Smirking, he said, “C’mon, scumpule, you have work in a few hours.”

    “I don’t go in until noon tomorrow.” Steve murmured, wiggling his way towards the head of the bed. He placed his glasses on the nightstand and looked over at Bucky.

    Bucky just raised an eyebrow and glanced pointedly at the clock. “And it’s almost four in the morning.”

    Steve glanced over at his clock and murmured, “Oh.” He hadn’t realized it was that late. Yawning, he crawled under the blankets and said, “Fine, get up here so I can cuddle with you then.”

    Bucky chuckled. “Sir, yes, sir.” He crawled up the bed and maneuvered his way under the covers. He smiled slightly as he watched Steve take his hearing aids out. When Steve curled against him, he wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and pressed a kiss to the top of Steve’s head.

    Steve burrowed his face into Bucky’s shoulder and murmured, “Goodnight, Bucky.”

    Bucky hummed softly. “Goodnight, Stevie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, you can find me at my tumblr (never-been-sane.tumblr.com) or just comment on here; I read all of them even if I don’t respond. If you message me on tumblr, I will greatly appreciate it; especially if it's to discuss headcanons or where I'm hoping to go with SSD.


	18. Marked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve smiled and, once he was done cleaning up, said, “You can send Buck in.” Darcy nodded and headed out front while Steve started to pull out the things that he needed for Bucky’s tattoo. He triple checked his machine and shifted nervously in his seat. He was actually going to be giving his boyfriend a tattoo. He glanced up when Bucky walked in and he smiled tightly at his boyfriend. Bucky crossed the small workroom and pressed a kiss against his cheek, murmuring a soft hello when he pulled away. Steve blushed and murmured, “Hey, a stór.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, I'd like to apologize for how long this chapter has taken. My life kind of got turned upside down and my mental health took a turn for the worse. I'm doing better now that I'm back at home and I'm finally seeing a therapist. I will do my best to up the upload rate but I cannot promise anything because my access to internet is rather spotty at the moment due to the fact that my parents are having trouble paying bills right now.
> 
> Secondly, I'd like to thank both my beta for her continued help with this. She's awesome and I don't think SSD would be as good as it is without her input.
> 
> Lastly, I hope y'all enjoy this chapter; I know you've waited a long while for it. As always, comments and critiques are welcome and appreciated. I read all of them even if I don't reply but I do try to make an effort to reply to most, if not all, comments. I'd really appreciate comments on the smut aspect of it; particularly my writing of it. I've never really written smut before and I'm worried that it's not very good.

     Sunday and Monday passed by in a blur for both Steve and Bucky. For Steve, Sunday dawned too quickly after Darcy called him in early when Nick called in sick. He hadn't really wanted to go in early, but Nick had clients that wouldn't trust anyone else but Steve if Nick wasn't available so off he went. Lensherr in particular was one of those clients. Steve was immensely thankful that Xavier had come in as well or Steve may have refused to do the tattoo. As for Buck, well, his Sunday was filled with Disney movies, grade school homework, and dirty laundry thanks to the fact that his sister and her husband both had work crises that they had to deal with in person and the fact that their regular babysitter had headed off to Ibiza for the summer. He would've gone to his sister's if she had just called him, but apparently showing up on Steve's doorstep with the twins was her way of insuring that he wouldn't say no. Not that he would've said no but his sister had an odd way of thinking sometimes. He loved his niece and nephew, truly, but if he had to listen to the Lion King one more time he was going to shoot Steve's TV. Monday didn't quite go as planned either. Buck had hoped to spend the day in bed with Steve since he'd gotten all their laundry done the day before but after learning how to give Steve his B12 shot, helping Steve sort out his pills and refill his weekly containers, running out to get the bike out of storage with Steve, the two of them being coerced into lunch with Pepper and Natasha, buying enough groceries to last the two of them at least three weeks and transporting said groceries back to the apartment, they were both exhausted and spent the rest of the day curled up on the couch with the cats marathoning Indiana Jones. Not the planned day but it wasn't terrible in Steve's books. He did get to spend the entire day with his boyfriend so that helped.

     Tuesday morning Steve woke long before his alarm was set to go off. He blinked and squinted at his alarm clock. It was 6:30 in the morning. What the hell was he doing awake? He didn't have to be up for at least another three hours. He rolled over to find Buck's side of the bed empty and, judging by how cool the sheets were on his side of the bed, Steve figured that he'd already left for his morning run. Yawning, Steve pushed himself up and headed towards the bathroom. He didn't bother putting in his hearing aids or putting on his glasses just yet. He relieved his bladder and washed his hands before heading to the kitchen to get something small to eat so he could take his morning medicine. In all the excitement of having Bucky home, he'd forgotten to take them on Saturday and still felt a little silly for it. No use beating himself up since there was nothing he could do to change it, at least he'd remembered Sunday and Monday.

     He was chewing on a piece of toast and staring blankly at his coffee pot when the front door opened. He glanced over and saw Bucky stripping off his sweat-soaked tee. Bucky grinned when he saw Steve and said, a little louder than normal so Steve could hear him, “Hey, Stevie. I didn't think you'd be up this early.”

     Steve shrugged and leaned against the counter. “I woke up early for some reason and decided to get up instead of trying to go back to sleep.” He watched a bead of sweat roll down the side of Bucky's neck and wondered briefly if Bucky would get this sweaty when they... Shoving aside that particular thought, Steve looked back at his boyfriend's face and asked, “Have a good run?”

     Bucky nodded and mopped the sweat from his brow with his already soaked shirt. “Yeah. Just under a 6 minute mile but it was a short run day.” He smiled and tilted his head towards the bathroom. “I'd hug you but I am really gross right now so I'm gonna grab a shower.”

     Steve chuckled softly and jerked his chin towards the bathroom. “Go on. I'll have to pop in for my meds after I finish my toast.”

     Bucky shot Steve a cheeky grin and said, “Feel free to join me if you want.” He winked. “Save water and all that jazz.”

     Steve smiled and said, “We'll see. Get going, I can smell you from over here.”

     Bucky mock-saluted Steve before heading back to the bathroom. Steve shook his head fondly and finished off his toast. He'd eat something more substantial later but he needed something so that he wasn't taking his meds on an empty stomach. After cleaning up his mess, he headed back to the bathroom and walked in. Bucky was singing something but it was too soft for Steve to hear. Smiling, he opened the medicine cabinet and pulled out the pill container for this week. After downing his medicine, he put the container back and eyed the shower. Chewing on his lip, he weighed his options. Strip and shower with Bucky again, which was a very appealing option since they hadn't had a chance to do so since the first time, or wait and risk not having any hot water at all, which would suck, or just skip a shower today, it wasn't like he actually needed it. Smiling to himself, Steve pulled his t-shirt off and tossed it in the hamper. There was really no question. He'd choose to shower with Buck even if he'd already had a shower.

     Steve shoved his pajama pants off and kicked them towards the hamper before he crossed the small distance to the shower and pulled back the curtain. Bucky glanced over his shoulder as he stepped into the shower and grinned at him. Steve smiled and plastered himself against Bucky's back under the spray, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend's waist. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the feel of Bucky pressing against him.

     Bucky sighed contently and said, still speaking up so Steve could hear him, “Glad to see you decided to join me.”

     Steve kept his eyes closed as he pressed a kiss to Bucky's shoulder blade and murmured, “You act like there was any other choice.”

     Bucky went rigid. “Steve, if you don't want to-”

     Before he could continue, Steve nipped at Bucky's shoulder and said, “You misunderstood me. I didn't really need a shower but I want to be close to you. I would choose you, no matter the circumstances. The fact that we're both naked is just a bonus.”

     Bucky relaxed and, with a soft chuckle, said, “It is a very nice bonus.” Steve hummed an affirmative reply and let his hands drift down to Bucky's hips. He pressed another kiss to Bucky's shoulder as he ran his hands up his boyfriend's sides. Bucky leaned into the touch and said, “I'm looking forward to the appointment today.”

     “Since you already approved the sketch I showed you and picked up your dad's letter from storage, we can start the tattoo today. And you're my last appointment so it doesn't matter if we run a little over.” Steve murmured, letting his hands drift over Bucky's chest and running his fingers through the wet curls there. He kissed the nape of Bucky's neck and let one of his hands drift down Bucky's stomach as he said, “I can't believe I actually get to mark you today.”

     Bucky's breath hitched as Steve lightly trailed his fingers over the hair below his bellybutton, stopping well before he reached Bucky's dick and reversing direction. Bucky let out an unsteady breath and huffed out a laugh. “You know...there is more than one way to mark a person.”

     “Yeah?” Steve unwound himself from his boyfriend and grabbed the Irish Springs body wash and a pouf. After pouring some body wash onto the pouf, he put the bottle back in the shower caddy. He worked the pouf until the body wash started to lather before starting to wash Bucky's back.

     “Yep. And you're lucky I've already washed my hair.” Bucky said, glancing over his shoulder at Steve.

     “I could smell your shampoo. I know it's pointless to wash your body before you wash your hair.” Steve said, smiling as he ran the pouf over the broad plane of Bucky's back. Bucky hummed in response as Steve continued to wash Bucky's back. Steve watched a line of lather roll down Bucky's back and over the swell of his ass. Biting his lip, he followed that trail with the pouf and wondered how Bucky would react if he used his hand instead of the pouf.

     “You okay back there? You're awfully quiet.”

     Steve snorted and brushed a bare hand over Bucky's back. “Your butt is distracting.”

     “Like yours isn't?” Bucky said, wiggling his hips slightly which caused Steve to laugh. Steve continued to wash his boyfriend's body and pushed away any other urges he had. He wouldn't start something in the shower, not when the hot water was starting to cool a bit. When Bucky turned around so he could rinse his back, Steve took the opportunity to kiss his boyfriend. Bucky wrapped his arms around Steve and said, “You are a damn tease, you know that?”

     “You've said so before. Still not sure I agree.” Steve said, smiling softly and washing Bucky's front. “Tease implies that I don't intend to follow through, ever. In reality, I do intend to follow through. I just like the buildup.”

     “Makes sense. My dick may not agree but I get what you're saying.” Bucky said, leaning back and rinsing off. Once he was clean, he turned off the water and wrapped his arms back around Steve with a small smile. Steve rolled his eyes and rested his head against Bucky's chest. Bucky ran his fingers through Steve's hair and asked, “What would you like for breakfast?”

     “I think I'd just like some eggs. An omelette maybe, if that's what you want to make.” Steve replied, shifting away to grab them both towels. Bucky reluctantly let him go and dried off. The two of them got out of the shower and headed to the bedroom to get changed.

     “An omelette sounds good to me.” Bucky said, opening one of the dresser drawers.

     Steve hummed softly and pulled out a pair of panties while Bucky grabbed a pair of boxer-briefs. He tossed his towel towards the hamper and pulled the panties on before he headed over to his closet. He didn't hear the whine Bucky tried to smother but he could feel his boyfriend watching him. He smiled to himself as he grabbed a pair of jeans and a button up. Steve glanced over his shoulder as he pulled his jeans up over his ass and grinned when he saw Bucky staring. Without buttoning his jeans, he turned and strode towards his boyfriend. Bucky raised an eyebrow but didn't protest when Steve pulled him down for a kiss.

     No matter how many times they had kissed over the past few days, and Steve would swear it had been hundreds by this point, it still felt like the first time. Steve absent-mindedly wondered if that would ever change as he wrapped his arms around Bucky's neck. He hummed into the kiss when Bucky slid his hands into the back pockets of Steve's jeans. He pulled back and murmured something against Steve's lips but Steve couldn't tell what it was. Huffing in annoyance, Steve pulled away and said, “I'm going to put my ears in since I have no clue what you just said.”

     Bucky chuckled and let him go. Steve crossed the room and grabbed his hearing aids off of the nightstand. Once they were in and on, he turned back to his boyfriend and shot him an expectant look. Bucky smiled and said, “All I said was that you have an amazing ass.”

     Steve smiled and shook his head, a blush rising in his cheeks. No matter how many times Bucky complimented him, he'd still blush like a middle-schooler around their crush. He glanced at the clock and said, “We need to finish getting dressed.”

     Bucky rolled his eyes and dropped his towel to pull on his underwear. “You're the one who distracted me with kisses.”

     Steve smirked playfully. “And my ass.”

     Bucky nodded. “And the panties. I swear you're trying to kill me.”

     “Nah, not kill.” Steve buttoned and zipped his jeans before he crossed the room to grab his shirt. “Give an inconvenient boner? Maybe.”

     “I guess this is preemptive payback for the inconvenient boner I'm going to give you later.” Bucky pulled on a pair of faded jeans and a well-worn tee.

     “I'm fully capable of tattooing you without getting a boner, Buck.” Steve said, rolling his eyes and pulling on his shirt.

     “Mmm, maybe. We'll see.” Bucky said, pulling Steve into another kiss before he headed out to the kitchen. Chuckling, Steve grabbed his glasses and put them on. He unplugged his phone from its charger and followed Bucky into the kitchen. Unlocking his phone, he checked his missed texts as he leaned against the counter.

> _From: Darcy_  
>  _You and Sergeant McHottie are coming to brunch this Sunday. No arguments. The munchkins’ birthday is on Saturday so you can come by on Sunday._
> 
> _From: Tony_  
>  _I know you have a thing against galas, believe me I understand, but there’s one Saturday night for the STEM outreach for girls that I’m a part of and I need you to be there. We’re selling some of your art to fundraise. Nothing that was a personal present, I swear. It was the stuff I commissioned like a year ago._
> 
> _From: Pepper_  
>  _Tony’s freaking out about you possibly not going to the gala. I told him that it’s okay if you don’t but you know Tony. Talk it over with Bucky, I know you have the twins’ birthday that day so don’t feel bad if you decide not to come._
> 
> _From: Becca_  
>  _The twins are looking forward to seeing you this weekend at their birthday party. Don’t worry about a present, just show up at Pier 6 on Saturday at 11:30 with my brother. Wear something you don’t mind getting wet._

     Steve pocketed his phone and said, “Darcy’s having us over for brunch on Sunday, Becca told us to show up at Pier 6 at 11:30 on Saturday, and Tony wants us to go to a gala Saturday night.”

     Bucky glanced over at him and said, “Alright. Do you want to go to the gala?”

     Steve shrugged. “He’s selling my art so it’d be a good idea to actually show up but...I’m not very fond of the people that run in his circle. Your thoughts?”

     “I was planning on spending Saturday night here with you since Peggy made you take the weekend off.” Bucky said, shrugging as he poured the eggs into a pan.

     “We haven’t really gotten to spend a lot of time together, just us, so I think I’m going to tell Tony that I’m sorry but we can’t make it.” Steve said, rubbing the back of his neck.

     Bucky leaned over and kissed Steve’s cheek. “Whatever you want, mon chaton.* You know that I’m up for whatever.”

     Steve smiled and watched Bucky cook them breakfast. He pulled out plates and forks for them when the omelettes were ready and helped Bucky plate them. They didn’t even move to the dining table as they ate and talked about their plans for the day. Steve glanced at the clock on his coffee pot and groaned. “I need to get to work. I’ll see you later?”

     “Of course. I’ll probably text you throughout the day too.” Bucky said, setting their plates in the sink. Steve shot him a smile and went to get his shoes. Once he’d gathered all of his things, he pecked Bucky on the lips and promised to text him on his break. Bucky gently shoved him towards the door and told him to get to work. Smiling slightly, Steve headed out the door and hopped on his bike to go to work.

     He walked into the shop, whistling softly with a smile still on his face. Darcy looked up and raised an eyebrow. He shot her a grin and said, “Good morning, Darce.”

     “You’re early today.”

     “I woke up early and decided to get some stuff done.” Steve said, shrugging his shoulder and dropping his bag in his workroom.

     “Did you get laid?” Darcy asked, cocking her head to the side.

     Steve rolled his eyes and started re-arranging the display cases, swapping out the jewelry to more summer-appropriate color schemes. He glanced over at her and said, “Not that it’s any of your business but no, we haven’t had sex yet.”

     Darcy hummed softly and said, “Loki’s looking forward to having you and Bucky over for brunch on Sunday.”

     “I feel like there’s something you’re not telling me about that.” Steve said, glancing over at her.

     “I had to bribe him since he knows that Sergeant McHotStuff is a fan.” Darcy said, shrugging.

     “Does he not like fans?”

     “He does, it’s just that some fans build him up into this person that he’s not and it’s kind of hard on him when they get pissed at him for not being who they thought he was.”

     “Easiest way to dehumanize someone is to make them famous.” Steve muttered, crouching down to grab one of the boxes from below the display cabinets.

     “Truth.” Darcy said, spinning slightly in her chair. “What do you want for brunch?”

     “You cooking?”

     “Nope. Loki is.”

     “Buck and I’ll be fine with whatever. You know my allergies and Bucky’s not allergic to anything.” Steve said, shrugging.

     “Alrighty.” Darcy said, glancing over at the door when it opened. Peggy walked in and smiled at the two of them before heading back to her station to set up. Steve hummed softly as he worked and nodded at each of his employees as they walked in. The day was fairly simple. He had a few consultations, a couple of people came in for touch ups, he helped a college freshman choose some new jewelry for his boyfriend, and finished up some paperwork for the city to renew his licenses. He was on his lunch when Bucky texted him.

>      _From: Bucky <3_  
>  _Coulson kicked my ass while we were sparring. I feel like I should be ashamed but I’m too damn impressed._
> 
> _**To: Bucky <3**_  
>  **_That tends to happen. Phil’s stronger than he looks and better trained than you’d think by just looking at him._ **
> 
> _From: Bucky <3_  
>  _Clint and Natasha were laughing at me when I ended up on the floor, unable to move. :(_
> 
> _**To: Bucky <3**_  
>  **_What would you like me to do? It sounds like all that’s really hurt is your pride and I can’t kiss that to make it better._ **
> 
> _From: Bucky <3_  
>  _You could just kiss me ;)_
> 
> _**To: Bucky <3**_  
>  **_I’d do that anyway. What’re you up to?_ **
> 
> _From: Bucky <3_  
>  _I’m just hanging out with the cats at home. I was thinking of making myself something for lunch soon. You?_
> 
> _**To: Bucky <3**  
>  _ **_I just went on my lunch break actually. I don’t have another appointment for two hours._ **
> 
> _From: Bucky <3  
>  _ _Where are you?_
> 
> _**To: Bucky <3**  
>  _ **_I’m currently sitting in the corner booth of Thor’s restaurant, waiting for my food. My normal table was taken so I’m stuck by a window. Which is nice but a little distracting._ **
> 
> _From: Bucky <3  
>  _ _Am I distracting you?_
> 
> _**To: Bucky <3**  
>  _ **_You’re a good distraction. I like you distracting me._ **
> 
> _From: Bucky <3  
>  _ _I like distracting you._
> 
> _From: Bucky <3  
>  _ _[img]_
> 
> _**To: Bucky <3**  
>  _ **_What kind of face is that?_ **
> 
> _From: Bucky <3  
>  _ _The face of the man that loves you? =p_
> 
> _**To: Bucky <3**  
>  _ **_You are a dork._ **
> 
> _From: Bucky <3  
>  _ _But I’m your dork, yeah?_
> 
> _**To: Bucky <3**  
>  _ **_Of course._ **
> 
> _From: Bucky <3  
>  _ _What would you like to do for dinner tonight?_
> 
> **_To: Bucky <3  
>  _ _Not sure, what were you thinking?_ **
> 
> _From: Bucky <3  
>  _ _I noticed a little French bistro by the apartment that I want to try._
> 
> **_To: Bucky <3  
>  _ _The new place that took over from Chez Moi?_ **
> 
> _From: Bucky <3  
>  _ _Yeah. I think it’s called Le Coq Bleu or something like that. I know that it's open late but I'm not sure how late. I don't think it closes until 3 am but I could be wrong._
> 
> _**To: Bucky <3**  
>  _ **_That's fine with me. I haven't had French food in a while._ **
> 
> _From: Bucky <3  
>  _ _Hey, scumpule, look up._

     Steve frowned at his phone and looked up. At first, he didn't see anything unusual but when he looked outside he spotted Bucky straddling his Dad's black '87 Honda Shadow VT700C and grinning at him. Steve raised an eyebrow at him, smiling when Bucky put the kickstand down and leaned the bike on it. He watched with a smile as Bucky swung his leg over then spun around so he could walk inside. Sif stopped his boyfriend at the door to seat him and seemed surprised when Bucky hooked a thumb towards him, telling her that he was here to eat with Steve. She glanced at him to confirm then, once Steve had nodded, lead Bucky over to his table. She handed off the menu before taking Bucky's drink order and walking off.

     Bucky smiled at him and asked, “So, what's good here?”

     Steve slouched down and tangled his legs with Bucky’s before he answered. “I like everything here. Thor is an amazing chef.”

     Bucky smiled and moved his leg up and down so he could rub it against Steve’s. He looked down at the menu and said, “Hmm. I think I’ll try the shrimp and gravlax club.”

     “That one’s pretty good.” Steve said, smiling slightly and taking a sip of his iced plum tea.

     “What did you get?” Bucky asked, looking up at him.

     “I got the ham and Jarlsberg. It’s probably my favorite sandwich here.” Steve admitted, setting his glass down.

     Bucky nodded and set his menu aside. He smiled at Steve and said, “I’m glad I get to eat lunch with you today.”

     Steve ducked his head and said, “You can have lunch with me every day if you want. I’ve usually got an hour off, sometimes two if I don’t have any appointments right after lunch.”

     “I’d really like that.” Bucky said, reaching over and taking Steve’s free hand. His thumb traced Steve’s knuckles as he admitted, “It feels like we’ve barely seen each other even though we’ve spent every night together since I’ve been back.”

     “I’m sorry, a stór.” Steve said, squeezing Bucky’s hand.

     “I know you need to work because the shop’s been busy and you don’t really have enough people to take off more than a couple days at a time yet but…” He shrugged. “I want to spend more time with you and I feel pretty selfish for that.”

     “It’s okay to want to spend more time with me, Buck. I know that I’d love to be selfish and just hole up in my apartment for a week or two.” He toyed with Bucky’s fingers and suggested, “How about we have a standing lunch date when I’m working so that, unless your sister or the twins want to have lunch with you, we can spend a little more time together.”

     Bucky chewed on his lower lip for a moment before he nodded and said, “That’s an acceptable compromise.”

     Sif stopped by the table to drop off Steve’s sandwich then turned to Bucky and ask, “What can I get for you?”

     “The shrimp and gravlax club with a side of fries.” Bucky said, smiling up at her. Nodding, Sif picked up his menu and headed back towards the kitchen. Bucky turned his attention back to Steve and said, “I don’t think she likes me.”

     Steve snorted and said, “Sif is...well, Sif. She’s pretty aloof with everyone except for her co-workers. I’ve been coming here for years and she only just warmed up to me about a year and a half ago.”

     “If you say so, scumpule.” Bucky said, letting go of Steve’s hand so he could eat. Their legs stayed tangled under the table and Steve picked up half of his sandwich, taking a huge bite. They talked a bit about the upcoming week and what they’d be doing for the twin’s birthday on Saturday.

     “I know your sister said that we didn’t have to bring a present but I’d feel weird if I didn’t get them something.” Steve said, glancing up at him.

     “We’re set to have a family dinner with them after the party, we can give them their presents then.” Bucky said, shooting Sif a smile when she set his order down in front of him.

     “What are we going to get them?”

     “For a joint gift, Becca suggested some new Guitar Hero game. They have the set up and it’s something that they can do together. As for individual ones? That’s up to us to figure out.” Bucky said with a shrug. He picked up his sandwich and took a bite.

     “The last time I talked to them about what they liked, Scott was obsessed with Project Runway and wanted a sewing machine while Kim had decided that, before she was going to become president, she was going to be the youngest engineer to ever work at Stark Industries.” Steve said, shrugging and finishing off his fries.

     “So, K’NEX kits for Kim and a beginner’s sewing machine for Scott with a couple project booklets.” Bucky said, shrugging.

     “What are Becca and Ezra getting them?”

     “A trip to Disney from the 29th of June until the 6th of July.” Bucky said, smiling slightly.

     “I thought they had that company cookout on the weekend of the fourth?”

     “Ezra cleared it with his boss before they decided and Becca just flat out told her boss that she wouldn’t be there.” Bucky replied, shrugging. “It works out because them going on vacation means that I’ll be able to head up to Skaneateles with you and your friends.”

     “That’s convenient.” Steve said, smiling. He finished off his sandwich and drink before checking the time on his phone. His phone buzzed in his hand and he groaned softly.

     “What’s up?” Bucky asked, popping a fry into his mouth.

     Steve tapped out a reply and said, “Darcy just texted me that we have a walk in that wants a watercolor. Knows exactly what they want so they don’t need a consult, just the tattoo.”

     Bucky nodded and said, “Go, I’ll cover lunch.”

     “You sure?” Steve asked, looking up at him.

     “Yeah. Go, you’ve got a customer waiting.” Bucky said with a smile.

     Steve nodded and stood, shoving his phone into his pocket. “Alright. I’ll cover dinner then. I’ll see you later.” He briefly pecked Bucky on the lips before heading back over to the shop. The rest of the day passed by in a bit of a blur of customers.

     Before he knew it, Darcy poked her head in and said, “Steve, your last appointment is here. I’ve got him filling out the paperwork and stuff now.”

     Steve checked his watch and cursed under his breath. He hadn’t meant to run late with this client but it looks like they both lost track of time. He cleaned up and began to dress and bandage the fresh ink. Glancing up at his client, he said, “I’m sorry, Mr. Grimm. We’ll finish this one up next time?”

     Ben smiled and said, “Yeah, don’t worry about it, Steve.”

     “I know you know this but I have to go over the aftercare instructions.” Steve said once he’d secured the bandage onto Ben’s bicep. Once Ben nodded, he recited the instructions and pulled off his gloves, tossing them in the trash. He handed Ben a copy of the aftercare instructions and a small tube of ointment before sending him on his way.

     Darcy smiled at him as he passed and said, “Stop by the front desk and Peter’ll take care of the remaining balance on your bill and whatever tip you’d like to leave. He can also set up your next appointment, if you know your schedule.” Once Ben had nodded and headed towards the front, Darcy turned to Steve and said, “Sergeant McHotBod is wearing a button down shirt and nice jeans. Are you two seriously going on a date after you’re done with his tattoo?”

     Steve looked over at her and paused in his cleaning. “Yeah, we’re heading to Le Coq Bleu.”

     “That French place by your apartment?”

     “Yep.”

     “Nice. It’s quite romantic. The overhaul brought in a better menu. Well, in my opinion it’s better but I’m not an expert on French food.” Darcy said, smiling slightly.

      Steve smiled and, once he was done cleaning up, said, “You can send Buck in.” Darcy nodded and headed out front while Steve started to pull out the things that he needed for Bucky’s tattoo. He triple checked his machine and shifted nervously in his seat. He was actually going to be giving his boyfriend a tattoo. He glanced up when Bucky walked in and he smiled tightly at his boyfriend. Bucky crossed the small workroom and pressed a kiss against his cheek, murmuring a soft hello when he pulled away. Steve blushed and murmured, “Hey, a stór.”

     Bucky looked around and asked, “So, where do you want me?”

     “The chair would probably be the most comfortable for you.” Steve said, smiling slightly and pulling out the image he’d drawn. “Do you have the letter?”

     “Yeah, here ya go.” Bucky said, pulling out an envelope from his pocket and handing it over.

     Steve scanned the letter and handed it back to his boyfriend. Once the letter was in his computer, he made a few tweaks and added it to the outline of the radio that he’d transferred onto his computer after Bucky approved it. Spinning around, he showed Bucky the image and said, “Of course, I’d add color but this is just the stuff I need for the stencil.”

     Bucky looked it over and nodded. “Looks good, but how are you going to get it from your computer to a stencil?”

     “You don’t remember from when you got your other one here?” Steve asked, smiling slightly and hitting the print button.

     “Not really. Clint was giving me shit for being nervous about the needles that I completely missed how Nick did it.” Bucky admitted, shrugging.

     “Ah, Nick wouldn’t’ve done it the way I do it anyway.” Steve said, rolling over to the printer and pulling out the stencil. “You see, Tony made us these special printers so we can just directly print the stencils onto the right paper with the right ink instead of printing it out on a regular piece of paper and either copying it using a thermal copier or having to spend almost 700 bucks a pop for a device to print it onto thermal copy paper.” He rolled back over and set the stencil aside so he could clean off Bucky’s arm. He glanced at his boyfriend and added with a smile, “Of course, we still have stencil paper for those of us that decide that we want to just hand draw shit instead of using a computer or a copy machine. And for teaching the newbies.”

     “That’s pretty smart, actually.” Bucky said, smiling slightly and watching as Steve pulled on a pair of latex gloves. He cleaned off his arm before he pulled out a fresh disposable razor and went over Bucky’s forearm, making sure that the area he was going to be tattooing was completely hairless. Steve dried the area off and applied the stencil solution. Bucky shifted and asked, “That’s not the type of stencil solution I’m used to seeing, what do you use?”

     “Same thing that Nick uses. It’s a homemade recipe that uses Speed Stick deodorant, aloe vera gel, and hand sanitizer. It’s stronger than the store bought stuff and cheaper to make.” Steve explained, rubbing the solution on to Bucky’s forearm.

     “Ah, alright.” Bucky murmured, watching Steve place the stencil and hold it there.

     Once Steve was certain the stencil had taken, he peeled the transfer paper off and looked up at his boyfriend. He raised an eyebrow and asked, “Look good?”

     “Looks perfect.” Bucky said, smiling slightly at Steve. Steve smiled softly and wet a paper towel. He pressed it to the tattoo to get the extra ink off and gently peeled it off, tossing the used paper towel in the trash. He tore off another one and pressed the dry paper towel to the stencil to take off most of the rest of the excess before he tossed that too and started to set up his things. Bucky shifted into a more comfortable position, careful not to move his arm too much. Steve fell into his work mode, blocking out most of his surroundings and focusing solely on making the image on Bucky’s arm permanent.

     By the time he was finished, it felt like maybe twenty minutes had passed but Steve knew it was longer. Bucky flexed his arm as Steve gathered the things he needed to clean up. As he gently cleaned off Bucky’s tattoo, he asked, “You okay?”

     “It was a little more painful than I thought it was going to be but not too terrible.” Bucky said, smiling slightly at Steve.

     Steve smiled gently at him and asked, “Do you want a picture of it?”

     “Yeah.”

     Nodding, Steve pulled off his gloves and tossed them in the trash before he grabbed his phone out of his pocket. He snapped a few different shots and showed them to Bucky, who nodded his approval, then tucked his phone away and put on a clean pair of gloves to dress and bandage Bucky’s tattoo. As he covered Bucky’s tattoo, he recited the after-care instructions even though he was fairly certain that Bucky knew them already. Once he was done, Steve stood up and stretched his arms over his head, sighing in relief when his back popped and shifted. He took off his gloves and tossed them away before he turned to Bucky and said, “Wait for me out front, I’ve got some cleaning up to do.”

     “Yeah, I don’t think so, Steve,” said a voice from behind him. Steve turned and saw Riley standing there with a small smile on his face. At Steve's confused look, he added, “I’ll clean up. I need to show Billy the proper way to sterilize things anyway.”

     “You sure?”

     “Yeah, Darce said you two had a date anyway. Go on, get outta here.” Riley said, smiling kindly.

     “Don’t need to tell me twice.” Steve muttered, packing up his bag and slinging it over his shoulder.

     Bucky chuckled and stood up, adjusting the sleeve of his shirt. He slung his non-tattooed arm around Steve’s shoulders and said, “Thanks, Riley. I owe you one.”

     Riley chuckled and shooed them out of the workroom. They stopped by the front desk, intending to settle Bucky’s bill, but Darcy just gave them an unimpressed look and said, “He gets the significant other discount.”

     Steve frowned slightly, they never gave discounts unless it was a promotional weekend. “Darce, what are you talking about?”

     “The significant other discount.” Darcy said, raising an eyebrow. “He’s already paid the deposit and that’s all he’s going to pay.”

     “I really don’t need a discount, Darce.” Bucky said, pulling out his wallet.

     “Barnes, don’t you dare.” Darcy said, pointing a finger at him. “Your bill is settled already.”

     “Can I at least tip my artist?” Bucky asked, raising an eyebrow.

     “Tip him by paying for dinner.” Darcy said, turning her attention back to the computer.

     “Darcy-” Steve started only to be cut off by one of her death glares. “Okay, okay. We’re going.” Steve muttered, wrapping an arm around Bucky’s waist and steering him towards the door. Bucky tucked his wallet back into his pocket and they headed up the street towards 4th Street. Steve glanced up at him and said, “I’m sorry about that. I didn’t know she was going to do that.”

     “It’s alright, scumpule.” Bucky said, smiling down at him. “I’m not exactly surprised but I had hoped she’d just let me pay the balance.”

     “We don’t actually have a significant other discount.” Steve said, leaning into Bucky’s side.

     “I figured. And you know that I wouldn’t’ve had a problem paying the full amount, plus a decent tip.” Bucky said as they passed Carroll Park.

     “I know.” Steve said, squeezing Bucky’s middle. He looked up at his boyfriend and added, “I may be the boss but Darcy’s even more bullheaded than I am so I tend to not argue too much when she sets her mind to something.”

     Bucky smiled and pressed a kiss to Steve’s temple. “That’s understandable.”

     They continued on in comfortable silence and Steve allowed Bucky to set the pace, which he knew was much slower than Bucky would normally walk when he was alone. At one point, he would have been annoyed with what he would have perceived as coddling but, with Bucky, he didn’t really mind because he knew it wasn’t coddling. When they reached the apartment, Steve dropped off his stuff and changed his clothes into something more appropriate for a date. He even put on some cologne. Once he was done getting ready, he and Bucky headed out towards Le Coq Bleu, which was just a couple blocks from Steve’s apartment.

     When they arrived, the hostess smiled brightly at them and led them to a table near the back. She handed off their menus and let them know that one of the wait staff would be by to take their orders in a moment. Steve smiled at her and looked down at his menu curiously. Chez Moi had had a less than traditional menu and, while it was good, he didn’t go often because of that reason. Like Darcy had said, the menu for Le Coq Bleu had more traditional French fare but most of it had a bit of a modern twist to keep it fresh.

     “What looks good to you?” Bucky asked, glancing up from his menu.

     “The boeuf bourguignon looks nice. You?”

     “The coq au vin is supposed to be the house specialty so I’ll probably go with that.” Bucky said, setting his menu aside.

     “Their Bourgogne Pinot Noir would pair nicely with both of those.” Steve said, looking over the wine list.

     “Want any appetizers?”

     “Just a salad is fine with me honestly.” Steve admitted, smiling slightly.

     One of the wait staff stopped by their table and said, “Bonsoir, messieurs. My name is Anaïs and I will be your waitress for this evening. Have you decided on what you would like?”

     Bucky nodded and said, “The house salad and the coq au vin for me.”

     “A house salad and the boeuf bourguignon for me.” Steve said, closing his menu.

     Anaïs nodded and wrote down their orders. “And what would you gentlemen like to drink? The Bourgogne Pinot Noir would go well with both of your meals, if you’re interested in any wine tonight.”

     “That would be wonderful, thank you.” Bucky said, smiling slightly and handing over his menu. Their waitress nodded and took their menus before walking off. Bucky turned back to Steve and reached over to take his hand.

     Steve smiled and, running his thumb over Bucky’s knuckles, asked, “How was your day?”

     “Good. I got some work done on the bike before I came into the shop.”

     “What’re you doing to it?” Steve asked, cocking his head to the side.

     “The engine needs a little work and there are a few cosmetic things that need to be done.” Bucky admitted. “I’m not drastically changing it or bobbing* it. I wouldn’t do that without your permission.”

     “You go to Tony’s or Logan’s?”

     “Tony’s. He kind of showed up at the apartment Sunday morning after you left and the twins had arrived.” Bucky said, smiling slightly. “Tony’s...interesting. But he did say that I could use his personal shop if I wanted to work on your dad’s bike.”

      Steve raised an eyebrow and, with a smirk, said, “He’s definitely an odd one. What did he do, besides come to scope you out?”

     “He mostly hung out with the twins until he got a call from Pepper, who I assume was yelling at him to get back to the office.” Bucky looked down at his and Steve’s intertwined hands and added, “From what I saw, he’d make a pretty good dad.”

     Steve smiled gently and said, “I keep telling him that but he doesn’t believe it. Says I’m biased because I’m his friend.”

     Bucky chuckled softly and said, “Maybe he believed it from me.”

     Steve shrugged and said, “Anything’s possible.”

     When their salads and wine arrived, they fell into a combination of comfortable silence and easy conversation as they ate. Bucky didn’t let go of Steve’s hand throughout their dinner and Steve didn’t really mind. Sure, it was a little hard to eat and drink one handed but they managed. By the time dessert rolled around, Steve had a fairly good buzz going and felt relaxed. He even shared some of his bittersweet-chocolate tart with Bucky in exchange for some of his île flottante.

     Once they’d settled the bill, Bucky paying despite the fact that Steve had insisted on buying, they headed home. Bucky wrapped his arm around Steve’s shoulder as they walked and Steve melted into his side, grateful for the warmth his boyfriend was providing since it was a little chilly. They were fairly quiet on the walk home, sobering slightly due to the chill and the exercise. When they were almost home, Steve glanced up at Bucky and let his hand slip down into Bucky’s back pocket. His boyfriend glanced down at him and raised an eyebrow at him. Steve just winked and, turning his attention back to the sidewalk in front of them, gave Bucky’s ass a light squeeze. Bucky chuckled and, pressing a kiss against Steve’s temple, murmured, “Behave. We’re in public.”

     “I’m behaving.” Steve said, letting his hand drift back up to Bucky’s hip. Bucky hummed non-committedly and opened the door to the apartment complex. Steve frowned slightly and looked down at the stairs as they headed up to the apartment. Maybe he’d read things wrong tonight. He was so distracted by his own thoughts that he didn’t realize they’d made it to the apartment until Bucky had shut the door behind them and had pressed him up against it. Gasping, he looked up at his boyfriend and was about to ask what he was doing when Bucky leaned down and kissed him. Groaning softly, Steve let his eyes slip shut and buried his hand in Bucky’s hair. Okay, so maybe he hadn’t read things entirely wrong.

     Bucky pulled away a little and, nipping at Steve’s lower lip, muttered, “I really don’t think you know what you do to me, Steve.”

     “Oh really? I think I have some idea.” Steve said, rocking against him.

     “Mmm, okay maybe you do.” Bucky said, nipping at Steve’s jaw. He held Steve’s hips and kissed along his jaw. “A little bit.”

     “Come on, let’s go to the bedroom.” Steve said, pushing gently at his boyfriend’s chest. Bucky whined softly but allowed Steve to push him back and lead him back to the bedroom. Steve pulled him by his non-bandaged arm and said, “I should probably have you take off the bandage first and clean it again…”

     “Seriously, Steve. It’s been maybe two hours, I can wait until we’re done doing...whatever it is you’re leading me to the bedroom for.” Bucky whined, squeezing Steve’s hand gently.

     Chuckling softly, Steve opened his bedroom door and said, “Yes but, if things go the way I want them to, you are going to want to fall asleep right after I’m done with you.”

     Bucky raised an eyebrow and, following Steve inside the bedroom, asked, “Oh? And how do you want things to go?”

     Steve looked over at his boyfriend and said, “I was hoping to suck you off.” Blinking, Bucky stared at Steve in surprise. Steve shifted slightly and, suddenly unsure, asked, “That okay with you?”

     “God yes.” Bucky said, grinning brightly and leaning down to kiss him. Steve relaxed and returned the kiss as he toed off his own shoes and started unbuttoning Bucky’s shirt. Bucky groaned softly and untucked Steve’s shirt from his slacks. Steve kissed along his boyfriend’s jaw and swatted his hands away. Bucky grunted and asked, “What, am I the only one getting undressed?”

     “Pretty much.” Steve said, shoving his boyfriend’s shirt off his shoulders.

     Bucky rolled his eyes with a smile and pecked Steve on the lips. He nudged him towards the bed and said, “Nah, if you’re giving me a blow job, we’re doing this right.”

     Steve sat on the end of the bed and raised an eyebrow. He started to unbutton his shirt and asked, “Oh? And what’s the right way?”

     Bucky smirked and, walking over to his nightstand, said, “Depends. You’re clean, yes?”

     “Yeah. I haven’t had a partner since Peggy but I still get tested regularly because of the job.”

     Bucky shot him a confused look as he crouched down beside his nightstand. “Seriously? You guys test for STD’s?”

     “Buck, we literally jab needles into people’s skin. With the safety precautions, the chance for contamination is practically non-existent but, with my health and immunity as it is, I need to get tested regularly; even if it is only for the sake of my own sanity.” Steve explained, slipping his shirt off and tossing it over into the dirty laundry. “What about you? You clean?”

     “Yeah. I got tested right before I came back. I can show you the paperwork if you want.” Bucky said, opening the drawer of his nightstand.

     “Don’t think that it’s because I don’t trust you but, it’d help if you did.” Steve said, rubbing the back of his neck. He trusted Bucky when he said that he was clean but having that proof would stop him from worrying.

     Bucky pulled out an envelope from his nightstand and handed it over. “There ya go. We can still use a condom if it’d make you feel better.”

     Steve took the envelope and looked over the paperwork inside. Just like Bucky had said, he was clear of every STD that he’d heard of and a few he hadn’t. He frowned slightly and, handing the paperwork back, said, “You guys get tested for a lot of shit.”

     Chuckling, Bucky took the envelope back and said, “Yeah, health is paramount. Most of the testing is optional but it’s helpful.”

     Steve smiled slightly and said, “We can go bare if you want.”

     “It’s up to you, Stevie. I’m fine with whichever.” Bucky said, setting the paperwork back into the drawer.

     Steve thought about it for a moment before he nodded and said, “I want to go bare.”

     Bucky smiled and stood up, toeing off his shoes as he said, “You sure? I've got flavored condoms.”

     Rolling his eyes, Steve pulled Bucky over to him by his belt and said, “I want to taste you, not latex and some artificially flavored cherry lube.”

     Chuckling, Bucky crawled on the bed with him and kissed him. Steve undid his belt and pulled it from the loops. Bucky reached down and cupped Steve through his slacks. Groaning softly, Steve nipped at Bucky's bottom lip. In return, Bucky gently squeezed Steve through his slacks and murmured, “You are such a biter.”

     “I like marking you.” Steve admitted, glancing up at his boyfriend.

     Bucky smiled and held out his bandaged right arm. “You kinda already did that, darling.”

     Rolling his eyes, Steve turned around and groped Bucky through his slacks. Smirking at the soft whine his boyfriend let out, he said, “You know what I meant, Buck.”

     “Yeah, I did. I just like messing with you.” Bucky admitted with a smile. He undid Steve's slacks with one hand and ran his hand up over Steve's stomach, causing Steve to twitch a little.

     Shimming away from him, Steve stood and, shooting his boyfriend a mock-angry look, said, “Hey, I'm supposed to be sucking you off, not letting you give me a hand job.”

     Bucky heaved an over exaggerated sigh and shifted so that he was sitting on the edge of the bed. He leaned back on his left elbow and motioned for Steve to continue with his right. Raising an eyebrow, he shot Steve a it's not going to suck itself look and said, “Carry on then, scumpule.”

     Snorting softly, Steve rolled his eyes playfully and stood between Bucky’s hips. He undid his boyfriend’s slacks and said, “Lift up your hips, a stór.” When Bucky did, Steve slid his slacks and his boxer-briefs down his thighs. He glanced at Bucky’s body and nearly moaned aloud. When he’d written that first letter, he hadn’t expected to fall in love with this man. And when he had fallen in love, he hadn’t expected to want him this badly. He shuffled forward a little to stand in between Bucky’s knees and let his hand drift up his boyfriend’s thigh. Gently brushing his fingers over his boyfriend’s erection, Steve smiled a little when it twitched at his touch and Bucky chuckled.

     When Steve dropped onto his knees between Bucky’s legs, he glanced up to see his boyfriend smiling gently at him. Steve leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss to the inside of Bucky’s knee. As he kissed his way up Bucky’s thigh, he realized that he’d have to accept that his and Bucky's relationship would always exceed his expectations. He trailed kisses along Bucky’s hips, completely ignoring the erection in front of him, even when it bumped into his chin. Bucky groaned softly and tilted his hips up, causing Steve’s lips to brush against the head of his cock.

     Lifting his head, Steve looked at Bucky and, wrapping a hand around his cock, started to stroke him. Bucky smiled and ran his fingers through Steve’s hair, letting his hand rest on the back of Steve’s head. He wasn’t trying to force Steve’s head down, just resting his hand there. Steve smirked and tilted his head so that he could kiss along Bucky’s length, watching as his boyfriend’s eyes flutter shut. He swirled his tongue around the head and smiled when Bucky groaned softly and tightened his grip on Steve’s hair. He may not have done this in a while, but exploring his boyfriend’s body was half the fun.

     “Jesus Christ.” Bucky muttered, loosening his grip on Steve’s hair and running his hand through Steve’s hair again.

     “Nope, but you’re close.” Steve murmured, kissing along Bucky’s length again. He ran his free hand up and down Bucky’s thigh as he said, “The name’s actually Steve Rogers.” He heard Bucky let out a strained laugh, almost as though he hadn’t meant for the laugh to escape. Steve took a fortifying breath before he leaned over and swallowed as much of Bucky’s cock as he could. Which, admittedly, wasn’t all that much. Buck was a lot bigger than he’d thought he would be. A lot bigger than the toys he had tucked away, actually. But he didn’t let that deter him. He closed his eyes and bobbed his head, hollowing out his cheeks as he lifted his head up. Above him, Bucky groaned and tightened his grip on Steve’s hair to the point that it was almost on the wrong side of painful. He didn’t mind his hair being pulled but once it got painful, he was going to have to have Bucky do something else with his hands to keep from hurting him. He pulled off his boyfriend with a small, wet, pop and looked up at him.

     Bucky was staring down at him, breathing heavy. He let go of Steve’s hair and, cupping his cheek, said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t even ask if you minded your hair being pulled.”

     “I don’t mind.” Steve admitted, his voice a little horse. “But that was almost a little too tight, a stór.”

     Nodding, Bucky murmured, “I’ll be more careful.”

     “That’s all I ask, Buck.” Steve murmured, tilting his head into Bucky’s hand.

     Bucky smiled slightly and, swiping his thumb across Steve’s bottom lip, said, “I forgot you had a venom piercing.”

     Steve chuckled and, stroking his boyfriend again, asked, “It feel okay?”

     “It’s...different. The texture difference is nice.” Bucky admitted, continuing to trace Steve’s lower lip with his thumb.

     Smirking, Steve nipped at Bucky’s thumb and asked, “Can I go back to what I was doing?”

     Bucky chuckled and nodded, letting his hand drop away from Steve’s cheek. Steve smiled and licked Buck's cock from base to tip before swallowing him again. He closed his eyes and swirled his tongue around the head. Bucky let his hand drift back to Steve’s hair but didn’t pull or tighten, even when Steve started to hum _Can’t Take my Eyes off of You_ as he bobbed up and down. Steve was halfway through humming _Can't Help Falling in Love_ when Bucky tensed. He glanced up at his boyfriend only to find the man staring down at him with his pupils blown wide. He was about to pull off and ask what was wrong when Bucky closed his eyes and gasped, “Stevie, I’m going to...if you….fuck.”

     Steve closed his eyes, taking as much of Bucky into his mouth as he could, and swallowed when he felt Bucky’s cum hit the back of his throat. He glanced up at Bucky as he pulled off and blushed when he saw the look of pure shock on Bucky’s face. He sat back on his heels and rubbed the back of his neck. Swallowing wasn't something that they had discussed but, from a practical standpoint, it made clean up a hell of a lot easier. And it wasn't like he minded the taste of cum. It was just really bitter and not his favorite taste in the world. Besides, now that he wasn’t focused solely on Bucky, he could feel how painfully hard he was. Clearing his throat, he looked up at Bucky and, with no small amount of uncertainty, asked, “Was I any good?”

     “You are fucking amazing.” Bucky said, grinning and pulling Steve up off the floor and into his lap. He winced slightly when Steve’s slacks brushed against his softening cock.

     Steve shot him an apologetic look and said, “I’m sorry.”

     “It’s fine. I’m okay.” Bucky assured, nuzzling Steve’s jaw.

     Chuckling softly, Steve ran his fingers through Bucky’s hair and kissed his temple. Bucky hummed softly and kissed Steve’s neck. Steve smiled and murmured, “We should clean your tattoo.”

     “Not while you’re still sporting this…” Bucky said, rubbing a hand over the bulge in Steve’s panties.

     Steve bit his lip to muffle a moan and rocked against Bucky’s hand. He rested his forehead against Bucky’s temple and murmured, “You don’t have to, Buck.”

     “I want to.” Bucky murmured, hooking his thumbs into Steve’s panties. “I want to taste you.”

     Blushing, Steve nodded and climbed off of Bucky’s lap. He shimmied out of his slacks and kicked them away. Before he could even think about moving back towards Bucky, his boyfriend shifted to the edge of the bed and pulled Steve over towards him. Steve smiled gently and wrapped his arms around Bucky’s neck. “I love you.”

     “I love you too.” Bucky murmured, kissing Steve’s shoulder.

     Steve chuckled softly as Bucky slid off the bed and knelt on the floor. He ran his fingers through Bucky’s hair as his soldier mouthed at his erection hidden behind lace and silk, gasping softly at the sensation. His heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest and he didn't think that this was one of the good feeling associated with that phrase. He knew he should have been focused on enjoying Buck's mouth on him but all he could think of was worst case scenarios where Bucky either didn't like the way he tasted or thought he was too small. He was average for a guy and, to be quite honest, a little bit big for someone his size but that didn't stop his brain from making a sudden comparison to how big Clint must have been. It didn’t make sense to him. He hadn’t been this nervous about doing this for Bucky and he sure as hell hadn't started mentally comparing Bucky to Sam so why was he doing it to himself?

     He watched as Bucky slowly dragged his boxer-briefs down and started to trail soft kisses along the length of his cock. God, that felt amazing. He shifted forward, wanting more contact but at the same time dreading what must be going through Bucky's mind right now. What if he really was comparing him and Clint?

     Bucky glanced up at him and almost immediately frowned. He leaned back against the bed and, rubbing a hand up Steve's side, asked, “Pisoiul meu, what's wrong? You look somewhere between terrified and ready to cry.”

     Steve blushed and looked away; he hadn't meant for Bucky to notice. “It's nothing.”

     Bucky scowled and said, “Bullshit, Steve. You looked fucking terrified.”

     Steve didn't look at Bucky. How the hell was he going to admit that he was thinking about how he compared to Clint instead of how amazing Bucky's mouth felt on him like he should have been? Even in his own head, that sounded stupid and insecure.

     Steve figured that he must have stayed silent for too long because Bucky rested his forehead against his stomach and said, “Steve...Scumpule, I can't fix whatever I just did to make you get that look on your face if you don't tell me what I did to put it there.”

     Steve swallowed heavily. Fuck. Now Bucky thought it was his fault. He tilted his boyfriend’s head back and murmured, “It wasn't you, Buck. Remember how my brain does that thing where it shoots out insecurities at inopportune moments?” When his boyfriend nodded, Steve continued, “That's what happened right now. Just my brain throwing out insecurities. It was nothing that you did.”

     Bucky studied him for a moment before he softly asked, “You were comparing yourself to Clint again, weren't you?”

     Steve nodded and looked away. “Logically, I know it's a stupid thing to fear but I'm still afraid that...”

     “That I'll find you lacking somehow?” Bucky asked, scowling.

     “Yeah.” Steve admitted softly.

     Bucky looked at him for a moment before he stood up. Steve shot him a confused, slightly alarmed look but Bucky just waved him off. “I'm going to go clean my tattoo because, if I don't give myself time to think about how I want to word the next thing I have to say to you, I'm afraid that it's going to come out in a way that is really going to hurt your feelings. And the absolute last thing I want to do is to want to hurt you.”

     Steve nodded slightly and watched Bucky walk out of the room, still naked. Sighing softly, he pulled up his underwear, ignoring the fact that he still had an erection, and started to pick up their clothes. Once he was done, he pulled on one of Bucky’s t-shirts and switched the sheets out on the bed to the old ones that he used whenever he had a tattoo. There were still some faded imprints of his tattoos on the old white sheets. Steve folded up the sheets he’d just taken off the bed and tucked them back into the cabinet he kept for his linens. Chewing on his bottom lip, Steve climbed on the bed and settled against the headboard, pulling his knees up to his chest. This was so not his intention when he’d started. All he wanted to do was to make Bucky feel good and in the end he’d let his insecurities get the better of him when Bucky tried to return the favor.

     He glanced up when he heard Bucky walk into the room. His boyfriend was still nude, unashamed of his body as he moved over to the bed. He held out his hand and, with a small smile, asked, “Come with me?”

     Looking up at his boyfriend curiously, Steve took Bucky’s hand and allowed his boyfriend to lead him over to the mirror in the corner. Bucky sat them down on the floor with Steve in his lap and wrapped his left arm around Steve’s middle. Steve glanced at Bucky and asked, “What’re we doing?”

     Bucky rested his chin on Steve’s shoulder and said, “You’re going to look in that mirror and tell me what you see. Then I’m going to do the same thing.” He tilted his head to look at Steve’s profile and asked, “So, Steve, what do you see?”

     Steve turned his head to shoot Bucky a confused look before he turned his attention back to the mirror. He studied them for a moment before he said, “I see someone who’s smart and talented. Smarter than he knows, really, and can do anything he sets his mind to. I see someone who’s got a big heart and is a very compassionate person. Someone who’s strong and….and fucking gorgeous.” He trailed off and Bucky just looked at him in the mirror. Swallowing, he murmured, “And then I see me. A scrawny guy with health problems a mile long and a medical file longer than the unabridged Oxford Dictionary. A guy who was so insecure about his body that he covered it with tattoos to try to hide the parts of himself that he hated. A guy who could never measure up.”

     Bucky’s jaw tightened for a moment before he relaxed and asked, “Want to know what I see?” At Steve’s hesitant nod, he continued, “I see a fuck up.” Steve tensed but Bucky wasn’t looking at him in the mirror. His boyfriend ignored the fact that Steve had tensed up and ploughed on, “I see someone who has made a lot of mistakes in the past and doesn’t think he’s worth the trouble. Someone who says stupid things to hurt the people he loves the most when he’s angry or defensive. Who chose to be continue to feel alone in this world instead of reaching out and reconciling with those that he hurt because he thought that it would hurt them less in the end. I see a man who was lost for a very long time and didn’t know what home meant until very recently.”

     Finally, Bucky met his boyfriend’s gaze in the mirror and Steve felt his heart jump into his throat. Bucky wasn’t talking about him at all; he was talking about himself. Steve frowned, confused at how Bucky could think that way about himself. How could he not see how amazing he was?

     Smiling slightly, Bucky pulled Steve closer to him and added, “And then I see you. A man who is brilliant in ways that he doesn’t even know. A man who throws his all into everything and works hard to bring happiness to all the people that he meets, even if they're a stranger. Who has so much love to give that it’s astounding to everyone he meets. Who is not only compassionate but also empathetic and works very hard to change the world for the better, even if it’s only for one person. A man who is more beautiful than he knows or is willing to see.”

     “Buck….” Steve started but trailed off, not sure how to continue. He hadn’t really thought of how Bucky saw him and he hadn’t thought to ask. Looking down, he blushed and leaned back into his boyfriend’s chest.

     Bucky kissed his shoulder and murmured, “Steve, I love you and you are, without a doubt, the best thing that ever happened to me.” He nuzzled the space behind Steve’s ear and admitted, “Truth is, I do compare you to others-” Steve tensed in his arms again but Bucky just continued on, “-but not in the way you think I do. I unconsciously compare you with those that I’ve been with and think about how much I was missing up until I met you. The only ones that come up lacking are the people that I’ve been with. You have insecurities and I understand that. I know that you don’t see yourself the way that I see you. You see flaws where I see perfection.”

     “I’m not perfect, Buck.” Steve said, shifting and looking away.

     “Maybe not to yourself or even to other people but to me? Yeah, you are.” Bucky murmured, toying with the hem of the shirt Steve was wearing. “What exactly were you insecure about earlier, scumpule?”

     Steve blushed and, tilting his head back to rest on Bucky’s shoulder, stared at the ceiling. He cleared his throat and said, “I was worried you wouldn’t...like the way I taste. Or that you’d think I was too small. In the...uh...in the dick department.”

     “Did you ever think that I was worried about the same thing?” Bucky asked, kissing Steve’s neck gently.

     “You are not small, Bucky. By anyone’s definition.”

     “I’m smaller than most of the guys in the squad.” Bucky admitted. “I’m smaller than Clint, actually.”

     Steve turned and stared at Bucky. “What?”

     Bucky raised an eyebrow and said, “I’m smaller than Clint.”

     “How the hell are you okay with my dick then?”

     Rolling his eyes, Bucky said, “Bigger is not always better, Steve. Sometimes, to be quite honest, it was on the wrong side of painful when we had sex. I don’t want…” Bucky huffed. “I wasn’t looking for someone who’s got a porn star’s dick, Steve.” He rested his chin on Steve’s shoulder and added, “I mean, if you had had a porn star’s dick, I would’ve dealt with it because I love you. All of you.”

     Steve stared at Bucky and blinked. “So you...like that I’m not big?”

     “I believe that’s what I just said.” Bucky said, smiling slightly. He nudged Steve’s shoulder with his chin and added, “As for your taste. I don’t think anyone really loves the taste of cum. Though I’m sure it won’t be the worst I’ve ever had since you actually eat a healthy diet and a lot of fruit.”

     Steve chuckled and said, “Yeah. I hear that it’s a major part of how you taste.”

     Bucky kissed his shoulder and asked, “Did this make you feel better? About us?”

     Nodding, Steve murmured, “I’m sorry.”

     “Don’t apologize. Just...next time tell me, yeah? I can’t help you work through it or reassure you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.” Bucky said, pressing another kiss to Steve’s shoulder.

     Steve nodded and ran his hand through Bucky’s hair. “I will.”

     Bucky looked over at him and asked, “Do you want to go to bed or continue what we were doing?”

     Chewing his bottom lip, Steve considered his options. He was emotionally drained but his body was still keyed up. There was no way he was falling asleep without getting off. But he really didn’t want to leave Bucky’s arms. He twisted slightly to look at his boyfriend and asked, “What would you like to do?”

     “I want to make you feel good. Whether that’s by going to bed and holding you while we fall asleep or getting you off is up to you.” Bucky said, shrugging. “I’m okay either way.”

     “I’m not going to be able to fall asleep without getting off.” Steve admitted, looking down.

     “But you don’t want to.” Bucky guessed, rubbing Steve’s side.

     Steve smiled slightly. “No, I want to. I just...don’t want to get up.”

     “My ass is falling asleep, pisoiul meu.” Bucky said, chuckling softly. “How about we move to the bed.”

     “Alright.” Steve murmured, getting up and straightening his shirt. Bucky stood in one fluid motion and took Steve’s hand, leading him over to the bed. He sat down on the bed and pulled Steve into his lap. Steve smiled tiredly and wrapped his arms around Bucky’s neck. Bucky leaned over and kissed him gently, slipping his hands under Steve’s shirt. Steve buried his hand in Bucky’s hair and shifted closer, deepening the kiss and clinging to his boyfriend. Said boyfriend moaned into their kiss and tightened his grip on Steve’s hips. Steve pulled away just enough to let Bucky slip his shirt off and looked down, watching Bucky run his hands up and down his sides.

     “You’re gorgeous, scumpule.” Bucky murmured. “Please, don’t doubt that.”

     Steve shifted and looked up at his boyfriend. “I can’t promise that I won’t ever doubt it. But I can promise that I’ll tell you when I do.”

     Bucky ran his fingers through Steve’s hair and murmured, “Then that’s all I can ask of you.”

     Smiling shyly, Steve caught his hand and pressed a kiss to the inside of his wrist. The tattoo was a little red but it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. “You used the Aquaphor in the cabinet, right?”

     Rolling his eyes, Bucky pulled his hand away and said, “Yes, scumpule, I did.” He pressed a kiss to Steve’s jaw and said, “I thought we were taking care of your boner problem.”

     Steve gasped when Bucky stroked him through his panties and said, “Yeah. Yeah, we were.”

     Bucky chuckled and, hooking his thumbs into Steve’s boxer-briefs, asked, “Hand job or bj?”

     Groaning, Steve gently shoved his shoulder and said, “At this point, I really don’t care as long as you’re fucking touching me, Buck.”

     Bucky raised an eyebrow and pulled Steve’s panties down just enough to free his erection. He leaned back against the headboard and wrapped his hand around Steve’s cock, slowly stroking him. Steve bit his lower lip to suppress a moan and bucked into his boyfriend’s hand. Bucky grinned and stroked faster, twisting his hand slightly. Steve sighed and closed his eyes, enjoying the feel of his boyfriend’s hands on him. He lost himself in the sensations and didn’t even notice he was getting close until he was cumming all over Bucky’s chest. He blinked down at the mess he’d made and muttered, “Oops?”

     Laughing, Bucky let him go and reached over to grab the wet wipes out of Steve’s nightstand with his clean hand. As he cleaned them up, he said, “A little notice would’ve been nice.”

     “I didn’t mean to not give you notice.” Steve said, climbing off of his boyfriend once his chest was clean. He slid his panties off and tossed it in the hamper on his way to the dresser. He pulled out two pairs of pajama bottoms and tossed one to Bucky, who caught it and pulled them on without getting up off the bed. Steve rolled his eyes and pulled his lounge pants on. He walked back over to the bed and took off his glasses. He was about to take out his hearing aids when he remembered something. “Bucky…”

     “Yeah?” Bucky asked, getting under the covers even though he was still in the middle of the bed.

     “What did you mean by not knowing what home meant until recently?”

     Bucky laid down on his back and, tucking his head behind his head, said, “I was never really sure what home meant growing up. I thought that it was just a place that your family was. When I had a falling out with my sister, I thought I’d lost my home and I tried finding it again when I joined the military. I found a family but I didn’t find a home. Not really.”

     Steve sat on the edge of the bed, by Bucky’s hip, and asked, “And now?”

     Looking over at him, Bucky smiled sheepishly and, blushing, said, “I feel like I found a home. Here. With you.”

     Leaning over, Steve pressed a gentle kiss to Bucky’s lips and murmured, “I didn’t want to say anything to freak you out but you feel like home to me.”

     Bucky kissed him again, sweet and gentle, before he pulled away and said, “You have no idea how happy that makes me.” He ran his fingers through Steve’s hair and said, “I want to talk more but you have work in the morning and, to be completely honest, I’m fucking exhausted.”

     Chuckling, Steve took his hearing aids out and set them on the nightstand. He climbed into bed and curled around Bucky’s left side, resting his head on his boyfriend’s chest. Bucky’s non-tattooed arm curled around him and his arm with the fresh tattoo stayed out to the side. Steve toyed with Bucky’s chest hair for a moment before he asked, “Can I see your tattoo?” He felt rather than heard Bucky huff before he shifted and brought his arm into Steve’s line of sight. Steve held Bucky’s wrist and stared at the fresh ink. He smiled and, with a blush, said, “I can hardly believe that I actually marked you today.”

     Bucky ran his fingers through Steve’s hair using his free hand and said, loud enough for Steve to actually hear him, “I’m glad that you did. As much as this is to remind me of my dad, it’s also a bit of a badge of pride for me.”

     Steve looked up at Bucky curiously and asked, “How so?”

     Smiling shyly, Bucky blushed and admitted, “Because you did it for me. I know quite a few people can say they have a tattoo by Steve Rogers but…” He looked down at his arm and said, “I like that I can say this one was done with love.”

     Grinning, Steve said, “And you call me the romantic.”

     “Go to sleep, Steve.” Bucky said, blushing and rolling his eyes.

     “Sir, yes, sir.” Steve said cheekily before he shifted again and rested his head back on Bucky’s chest. He closed his eyes and let the steady thump of Bucky’s heartbeat against his cheek lull him to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> -scumpule: darling, lit. treasured one  
> -pisoiul meu: my kitten  
> -a stór: my treasure  
> -mon chaton: literally: my kitten  
> -bœuf bourguignon: literally Beef Burgundy or Beef from Burgundy, it's a French dish consisting of beef braised or stewed in a red wine sauce, to which mushrooms and onions are typically added. It's actually quite tasty.  
> -coq au vin: literally rooster with wine, it's a French dish of chicken braised with wine, lardons, mushrooms, and optionally garlic. I haven't had this before but I hear it's delicious when made right.  
> -Chez Moi: literally means "at my home"  
> -Le Coq Bleu: literally means The Blue Rooster, the name is taken from an actual Marvel character and the waitress mentioned is also an actual Marvel character. 
> 
> Explanations:  
> -When Bucky's texting Steve I like to think he sent Steve a selfie with a really goofy look on his face but I left it up to y'all as the readers to imagine what you'd like as long as Steve's response would've fit in with it.  
> -Also, since my beta pointed out that she didn't know what this meant, "bobbing" a motorcycle is when you cut off everything that is non-essential to it running or passing inspection. When my stepfather bobbed his motorcycle, one of the many things he did was take off the front fender, shorten the rear fender, and completely remove the pillion seat. Here's the [Wikipedia page for bobber bikes](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bobber_\(motorcycle\)) if you want more info on them.


	19. Let's have a party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “After seeing what I’ve seen overseas, I know how important it is to appreciate every day that you’re given with the ones that you love. Now, I’m not saying that we run out and get married. Because that is just kinda…”
> 
> “Irresponsible and the type of thing one only does while in Vegas?” Steve suggested, smiling slightly.
> 
> “I was going to go with something that we’re not ready for but yeah. That works too.” Bucky said, smiling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the wait, I lost Internet and it's been very interesting to try to get this one up. As always, conctit and general comments are welcome and appreciated. I hope y'all like this one.
> 
> 02/18/16: just a few formatting changes

     Saturday morning found Steve on the floor of his bedroom, trying to wrangle wrapping paper around a small stack of beginner’s sewing books. Bucky wasn’t faring much better. Wrapping up three separate boxes of K’NEX Education was harder than either of them had assumed. Steve glanced around at the presents they had bought and asked, “Do you think we got them too much?”

     “Fuck no.” Bucky muttered, taping down a stray corner of the wrapping paper. He glanced around and amended, “Well, maybe. But it’s justified.”

     Steve smiled and said, “I didn’t say it wasn’t. At least you didn’t get them a dog.”

     “Becca would have murdered me.” Bucky said, shooting his boyfriend an unamused look.

     Shrugging, Steve said, “We spent about a hundred bucks on each of them so I think she’s still going to murder us.”

     “Nah because I told her that it’s to make up for all the birthdays I missed.” Bucky said as he finished wrapping the last of Kim’s boxes.

     “I don’t exactly have that excuse.” Steve said, looking down at the books he was wrapping.

     “You adore the twins, that’s reason enough.” Bucky said, setting aside the box he’d just wrapped.

     “If you say so.” Steve muttered as he finished wrapping the books.

     Bucky eyed him for a moment then looked at the wrapped gifts surrounding them and said, “We suck at wrapping gifts.”

     Steve snorted and set aside the stack of books. “There’s a reason why I usually only use gift bags.”

     Bucky smiled and flopped on his back with a groan. “I see your point.”

     “How’s the arm?” Steve asked, standing up and dusting himself off.

     “Redness is completely gone, though it’s still a bit warm to the touch.” Bucky said, shrugging. He lifted his arm up to look at it and added, “I’m going to have to be careful today since we’ll be in the sun for a while.”

     “Wear that loose long sleeve Henley, the one with the thumb holes; that should be good enough for protection and it shouldn’t stick to your tattoo.” Steve said, studying his boyfriend.

     Bucky looked up at him and, raising an eyebrow, asked, “Enjoying the view, scumpule?”

     “Very much so.” Steve said, smirking playfully and deliberately raking his gaze up and down his boyfriend’s body. He watched as Bucky tucked his left hand behind his head and rested his right on his stomach, just above the waistband of his jeans. Looking up at his boyfriend’s face, he flushed when he saw Bucky’s smug look but didn’t look away. When his boyfriend raised an eyebrow at him, he walked over and planted a knee on either side of Bucky’s hips, keeping his weight off of his boyfriend.

     Chuckling, Bucky moved his hand to rest on Steve’s hip and said, “Can I help you, pisoiul meu?”

     “Mm. We’ll see.” Steve murmured, leaning over and pressing a kiss to Bucky’s jaw.

     Bucky moved his other hand from behind his head and rested it on Steve’s thigh. He tilted his head to the side and murmured, “How much time to do we have before we have to leave?”

     “At least four hours.” Steve murmured, kissing along Bucky’s neck.

     Bucky let his eyes slip shut as Steve kissed his neck and murmured, “That’s good.”

     Steve hummed softly in reply as he nipped at Bucky’s neck and gently sucked on the place where he’d nipped, working a bruise into his boyfriend’s neck. He knew that showing up to the twins’ party with a visible hickey would be great ammo for Becca to use to tease her brother but Steve really didn’t care. Not after the flirting incident in the mall, he wasn’t about to let there be any doubt that Bucky was taken. He pulled back, straightening up, and ran a finger over the bruise that was beginning to bloom on his boyfriend’s neck.

     “Is there a reason why you just gave me a hickey that is going to be blatantly visible by the time we get to the park or do you just enjoy giving my sister things to tease me about?” Bucky asked, smiling slightly and rubbing his hands up and down Steve’s thighs.

     Steve blushed and murmured, “Would you believe me if I said it was just to give Becca ammo?”

     “Not for a minute.” Bucky said, squeezing Steve’s thigh. He raised an eyebrow and asked, “Does this have something to do with what happened when we went to pick up the twins’ presents?”

     Shifting slightly, Steve shrugged and said, “Maybe a little bit.” Bucky snorted and Steve swatted at his bicep. Frowning, he said, “Don’t you dare laugh at me. It’s perfectly rational. You seriously don’t know how gorgeous you are or how many people want you.”

     Bucky rolled his eyes and said, “I do have some idea but I honestly don’t give a shit who wants me. You’re the only one that I want and we’re already together.”

     “Be that as it may, you loving me doesn’t really deter people from trying to get in your pants.” Steve said, looking down at the hickey.

     “I wouldn’t cheat on you, Steve.” Bucky said, frowning.

     Steve sighed and said, “I know you wouldn’t but that doesn’t stop me from getting jealous when other people hit on you.” He eyed his boyfriend and asked, “Did me pulling you into a short make out session in front of one of your ex-girlfriends from high school not make that bit clear?”

     “Oh you made it perfectly clear.” Bucky said, smirking playfully. “I honestly wondered if you were going to push me down on the ground and have your way with me in the middle of the store.”

     “I’m jealous, not an exhibitionist.” Steve said, rolling his eyes.

     “I know, scumpule.” Bucky said, continuing to stroke Steve’s thigh with a small smile. Steve looked down at his boyfriend and raised an eyebrow. Bucky’s grin widened and he asked, “What?”

     “And you call me a tease.” Steve quipped, leaning over and pressing a kiss to the hickey he’d made.

     Bucky chuckled and tilted his head to the side, giving Steve better access to the mark on his neck. He brushed his thumb over the small patch of skin that was exposed thanks to the gap between Steve’s t-shirt and shorts and asked, “What? Getting all hot and bothered under the collar?”

     “Little bit.” Steve murmured against Bucky’s neck, rolling his hips against his boyfriend’s. “And still feeling a bit possessive.”

     “Mmm, I can deal with that.” Bucky said, shifting under Steve. He turned his head to the side and caught Steve’s lips with his own, nipping at Steve’s bottom lip before kissing him hungrily.

     Steve groaned softly, deepening the kiss and rocking against his boyfriend. He nearly yelped when he felt something soft and furry brush against his cheek. Pulling away quickly, he looked over and scowled when he saw Nyota standing by Bucky’s head. She meowed petulantly at him and he rolled his eyes while Bucky laughed. He looked between Nyota and Monty, who wasn’t far from her, and said, “I hate you both right now.”

     “Stevie, they’re probably just hungry.” Bucky said, grinning.

     Sighing, Steve rolled away from Bucky and stood up, almost taking a header into the bed before he got upright. He adjusted himself and said, “I’ll go feed them. You clean this mess up.”

     “Sir, yes, sir.” Bucky said, giving him a mock salute.

     Steve rolled his eyes with a smile and flipped his boyfriend off as he walked out of the room. He headed towards the kitchen with his cats in tow. Nyota wound herself around his legs as he filled up their food and water bowls. Once they were eating, Steve checked their litter boxes and made a mental note to clean them on Monday. He headed back to the kitchen and started washing the dishes, trying to distract himself and calm down a little. He was just setting the last one in the drying rack when he felt Bucky’s arms wrap around him. Closing his eyes, he leaned back against his boyfriend and asked, “Wrapping paper cleaned up?”

     “Yep. And I put the presents in a larger box so they’re easier to carry.” Bucky said, nuzzling Steve’s shoulder.

     Smiling, Steve reached up and buried his hand in Bucky’s hair. Turning his head, he looked at his boyfriend and asked, “Can I help you with something?”

     “Mmm, no. But maybe I can help you with something.” Bucky murmured, pressing a kiss to Steve’s temple and letting his hand drift down to palm the bulge in Steve’s shorts.  
Steve rocked into his boyfriend’s hand and bit back a whine. Looking down, he watched Bucky stroke him through his shorts and asked, “How much time to we have before we have to leave?”

     “Now? About three hours.” Bucky replied, trailing kisses along Steve’s neck. “Plenty of time to have fun if you want to.”

     Sighing softly, Steve glanced over at his cats and blinked. They were staring at him and Bucky. Blushing, Steve murmured, “I do, but maybe not in here. The cats are staring.”

     Bucky looked over at the pair and said, “Yeah, that is rather unnerving.”

     Steve wiggled out of Bucky’s grasp and, walking backwards, pulled him back towards the bedroom. He smiled slightly and said, “C’mon. We can shut the bedroom door. Their lack of opposable thumbs kinda makes opening the door near impossible.”

     Grinning, Bucky allowed himself to be pulled along and made sure the cats weren’t following them. Once they made it into the bedroom, Bucky kicked the door shut behind himself and spun them around to press Steve up against the door. He pressed a line of kisses down Steve’s jaw and murmured, “You’re so fucking gorgeous, Stevie.”

     Humming non-committedly, Steve wrapped his arms around his soldier’s neck and buried his hand in Bucky’s hair. “If you say so, Buck.”

     Bucky pulled back to look down at him and frowned. “I do say so. Do we need to do the mirror thing again?”

     Steve rolled his eyes and said, “No, not today. Just kiss me, damn it.”

     Bucky studied him for a moment before he smirked and, kissing along Steve’s jaw, murmured, “You’re a demanding little punk, aren’t you?”

     Scowling, Steve huffed and said, “I’m about to get a lot more demanding if you don’t fucking kiss me, jerkface.”

     “Jerkface?” Bucky asked, snorting. He buried his face in Steve’s shoulder to hide the fact that he was laughing and said, “Oh my God, Stevie.”

     Steve thunked his head against the door and let out a sound that was half-whine, half-laugh. Yes, calling Bucky a jerkface was funny but come on. He gently tugged on Bucky’s hair and petulantly said, “I hate you so much right now. Worst boyfriend ever.”

     “Aww, I’m sorry, scumpule.” Bucky said, chuckling and pulling away. He leaned down and pressed a very gentle, barely there kiss to Steve’s lips before he pulled away and, smirking, asked, “Better?”

     Groaning, Steve shot Bucky a half-hearted glare and said, “I swear to God, Bucky, I will push you on your ass and kiss you senseless if you don’t stop being a jerk.”

     It was hard to hide his smile but Steve succeeded for all of three seconds before he felt himself grinning. Rolling his eyes playfully, Bucky smiled and, leaning down, kissed him. Steve sighed into the kiss and shifted closer to his boyfriend, grinding their erections together. Bucky groaned and pulled away. Steve was about to ask him what he was doing but stopped when Bucky dropped to his knees in front of him and swayed forward to mouth at his erection. Whining softly, Steve rocked his hips forward and let his head thunk against the door. Closing his eyes, he bit back a moan as Bucky shoved his shorts down and kissed him from base to tip. Bucky chuckled softly against him, which caused Steve to whine again, and sucked the tip into his mouth. Blushing, Steve covered his mouth with his free hand and did his best to muffle the needy whines and moans. He hated that he sounded like a dog with how much he was whining. There was no way that Buck could’ve found that anywhere near attractive.

     As far as Steve could tell, Bucky didn’t notice that he’d muffled himself with his hand. When he looked down at his boyfriend it was like his soldier was in his own world, completely focused on Steve’s cock and nothing else. Steve bit back another moan at the sight. His grip on Bucky’s hair tightened and his hips started to rock of their own accord. But Bucky didn’t pull away. If anything he got even more enthusiastic, which Steve hadn’t thought was even possible. Steve bit his lip and rolled his hips, gasping in shock when Bucky buried his nose in the sparse curls at the base of his cock. Cursing, Steve let his head thunk back against the door and squeezed his eyes shut. He thought he warned Bucky that he was going to cum but afterwards, he wouldn’t be able to say if he did or not.

     Once Bucky was sure he’d swallowed everything, he pulled off with a soft pop. Steve’s eyes fluttered open and he looked down at his boyfriend, eyes widening in shock when he saw Bucky looking up at him. Shit, Buck looked pretty damn debauched. His boyfriend’s pupils were dilated and his lips were red and slightly swollen. Hell, even his hair was going in multiple directions even though Steve’s hand hadn’t really moved from its place on the back of Bucky’s head. Bucky raised an eyebrow at him and asked, his voice rough and a bit scratchy, “Why did you muffle yourself?”

     Steve felt his face heat up again and looked away. He wanted to lie and say that he hadn’t muffled himself, that he was just quiet. But he and Bucky had talked about this. Lying about what was wrong wouldn’t solve anything and would only cause them to piss each other off. Steve cleared his throat and said, “Because I was embarrassed about the sounds I was making. I thought I sounded like a dog. Or something.”

     Bucky hummed in response and stood, wincing slightly. Steve looked over at him and frowned. Bucky blushed and, with a shrug, said, “I came in my shorts. Not the most comfortable thing ever.”

     “No, that’s definitely not.” Steve said, shaking his head. “Why don’t you go get a shower? I’ll toss your clothes in the wash and we can run a small load before we have to leave.”

     Bucky nodded and, moving around Steve to open the door, said, “Alright.” Steve had just pulled his shorts back up when Bucky called, “And next time, please don’t muffle yourself. I don’t care if you sound like a dog or a dolphin, I want to hear you.”

     Steve groaned, his face heating even further, and called back, “Alright, alright. Jerkface.” He smiled at the sound of his boyfriend’s laughter drifting across the hall. Shaking himself off, he gathered up a small load of laundry and set up the washer. Once he heard the shower turn on, he headed into the bathroom to pick up Bucky’s soiled shorts.

     “Do you need a shower too, Stevie?” Bucky asked, peeking around the curtain.

     Steve rolled his eyes and smiled to himself. “I’ll be in after I throw our clothes in the washing machine.”

     Bucky nodded and ducked back under the spray. Steve smiled to himself and headed out of the bathroom. Once he’d tossed Bucky’s clothes as well as his own into the washer, he headed back to join his soldier in the shower. They took turns washing each other. Steve was careful with Bucky’s still-healing tattoo and in return his boyfriend behaved when he ran the pouf over Steve’s body. When they were done, they stepped out and dried off; Bucky carefully patting his tattoo dry while Steve roughly toweled his hair dry. While Bucky went to get dressed, Steve wrapped a towel around his waist and put his hearing aids back in. He left his glasses to defog and went to start the washer. After he’d got the laundry started and put his now de-fogged glasses back on, he started towards the bedroom to get dressed but was distracted by a knock at the door. Frowning, he headed to the door and cracked it to see who was behind it.

     Tony smiled brightly at him and said, “Morning, shortstack.”

     Steve rolled his eyes and said, “Tony, you aren’t that much bigger than me.”

     Raising an eyebrow, Tony smirked and said, “Eight inches is eight inches, Steve-o. And those inches are very important.”

     Sighing, Steve thunked his forehead against the door. He shot his friend an unamused look and asked, “What do you want? I know you didn’t just show up on my doorstep to make thinly veiled references to your dick size.”

     “Who said anything about dick sizes?” Tony gasped, putting a hand over his heart. “I didn’t say anything about penises.” He smirked and asked, “Where is your mind, Steven Grant Rogers?”

     “Tony, we both know you’re only five inches taller than me, not eight.” Steve said, raising an eyebrow. When Tony just smiled blandly at him, he rolled his eyes and opened the door to let Tony inside. When his friend shot him a confused look, he said, “I’m not going to stand here in just a towel and debate whether or not you just made a dick reference. Get inside and you can tell me why you’re really here.”

     Walking inside, Tony tucked his hands into his pockets and asked, “Where’s loverboy?”

     “Right here.” Bucky said, stepping into the foyer area from the hall that lead to the bedroom. “How’s it going, Stark?”

     “Good, good. Would be better if you and Steve were showing up at the gala tonight but I get it. Family comes first.” Tony said, smiling slightly. “I actually wanted to talk to you.”

     Bucky blinked in surprise and nodded. “Alright. What did you need?”

     “I’m going to go get changed.” Steve said, smiling slightly before heading back to the bedroom. He glanced back in time to see Tony pull Bucky towards the living room. Shaking his head, Steve quickly got changed into a pair of blue swim trunks, an old grey tank top that Natasha had left as his apartment, and a white short sleeve button up that had a faded nautical map printed on it. After pulling on a pair of vans, Steve headed back out to the living room to find Tony watching Bucky intently as Bucky tapped away at a mini StarkPad.

     Tony looked over at him and, raising an eyebrow, said, “You never told me that your boyfriend rebuilt classic cars and motorcycles for a hobby.”

     Steve shrugged and, leaning against the wall, tucked his hands into his pockets. He shot Tony an unamused look and said, “I told you he tore apart engines, made them run cleaner, and put them back together again. I figured you could extrapolate from that.”

     “I’d go with these four bikes and these six cars.” Bucky said, handing the mini-tablet back to Tony. When Tony shot him a curious look, he explained, “They’re in the roughest shape but that just means that they can be customized however they want. Hell, they could probably switch any of them over to electric, hydro, solar, or even the arc reactor tech you developed with the right motivation. It’ll take a while to figure out the logistics but from what you said, they’re the brightest of the brightest and if anyone could do it in a summer, it’d be them.”

     “What are the bikes and cars for?” Steve asked, looking between the two of them.

     “The girls in STEM program is having a summer camp for a good portion of the girls.” Tony said, tucking the mini-tablet into the inner pocket of his suit jacket. He shoved his hands into his pockets and said, “If I had my way, I’d be able to control it on a national level but as it is, I can only work with the girls from New York, New Jersey, and Pennsylvania.”

     Steve nodded and said, “So, what exactly are you doing with them?”

     Tony smiled and said, “Well, you see, I sent out a call for suggestions from the groups of girls participating in the summer camp and one of the groups suggested a restoration project where they had to figure out how to make a classic car run cleaner while still keeping with the aesthetics of the car’s original era. Another group wanted to fix up a few motorcycles and classic cars to make them more environmentally friendly while also figuring out how to make it cost-effective for manufacturers to do it themselves. They were good ideas but I needed help on picking out the bikes and the cars because the ones that I would’ve chosen might not have been the best ones for the job.”

     “And he wanted to check to see what to get for the twins.” Bucky said, smirking slightly at Tony’s indignant squawk. Looking at the older man with a mostly innocent expression, he asked, “What? That was literally the first question you asked me.”

     “You are a traitor, Barnes.” Tony said, scowling slightly. Steve could tell he was trying to hide a smile though.

     “I knew you were a softie for those two.” Steve said, grinning.

     “You know no such thing.” Tony said, sniffing and looking around the apartment. “I need to get back to the tower, there’s a lot of last minute details to go over for the gala tonight. Not that you two are showing up.”

     “Birthday dinner for the twins.” Bucky said, raising an eyebrow.

     Tony huffed and said, “I know. I understand. Doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

     “I’ll go to the next one as long as it doesn’t conflict with anything else.” Steve said, raising an eyebrow at his friend. “That better?”

     “Yes. Much. I’ll see you two later. Have fun at the munchkin’s birthday party.” Tony said, smiling slightly. Steve assured him that they would while Bucky just raised an eyebrow at the other man. Tony rolled his eyes and bid them adieu before heading out of the apartment.

     Steve sighed softly and checked his phone. “We should head out. Get over to the park.”

     “Do you want to take the bike or would you rather take the bus?”

     “I’m wearing shorts, what do you think?”

     “Bus it is.” Bucky said, chuckling softly before he got up and headed to the bedroom to get his shoes. Steve smiled slightly and pushed himself off of the wall. By the time he’d grabbed his keys and his wallet, Bucky had returned. Steve made sure they both put on sunscreen before he allowed them to leave. They walked up to the bus stop on Atlantic to catch the bus up to Brooklyn Bridge Park instead of hoofing it the entire way there. It didn’t take long, maybe fifteen minutes at the most, to get from Steve’s front door to where Becca was waiting for them. The twins were already running around with their friends but Scott spotted them before Kim did.

     Grinning brightly, Scott yelled, “Uncle Steve!”

     Steve smiled and, leaving Bucky with his sister, headed over to where the twins were playing. Scott plowed into him and almost knocked him over. Laughing, Steve wrapped his arms around Scott and said, “Hey, happy birthday, Scotty.”

     “Thanks, Uncle Steve.” Scott said, grinning up at him.

     “No problem, little man.” Steve said, petting Scott’s hair.

     Scott pulled away and, grabbing Steve’s hand, pulled him over to the group of kids playing with Kim. Once they reached the group, Kim grinned and got up to hug him. Muffled by his chest, she said, “Hey, Uncle Steve.”

     “Hey, Kimmy.” Steve said, leaning over to press a kiss to the top of her head. “Happy birthday.”

     “Thank you.”

     Kim turned to her friends and said, “This is my Uncle Steve. Uncle Steve, these are most of our friends; Frankie, Val, Katie, Maya, Sammy, Sinthea, Nezhno, Alani, James, and Carter.”

     “Why’s he got pictures on his arms?” Val asked, looking at his arms curiously.

     Kim pulled away and said, “Because Uncle Steve likes pretty pictures on his arms. His friend Mr. Riley did this arm.” Kim pointed to the Celtic knots and then, pointing to the other, said, “And Miss Peggy did that one. She’s really cool and has a flower garden that covers her entire arm!”

     Scott nodded and added, “Uncle Steve works in a tattoo shop. He puts art that can’t come off on people!”

     “Whoa, that’s cool!” One of the boys, Nezhno, said, staring up at Steve in awe. Steve smiled kindly at him and glanced around at the group. One of the girls, Sinthea, was looking up at him with a small frown. He was about to ask her what was wrong when another one of the boys asked a question.

     “Why’re your ears funny looking?” Sammy asked, looking at Steve curiously.

     “They aren’t funny looking!” Scott said, scowling.

     Kim looked like she was ready to jump to his defense as well so Steve decided to defuse the situation before a fight broke out over him. He smiled slightly and said, “It’s alright, Scott. I know what your friend meant.” Scott frowned at him but Steve merely knelt down so that he was the same height as the boy he was talking to. Making sure he was talking directly to Sammy, he explained, “Well, it depends on which part of my ears you find funny looking. If it’s this part,” He ran a finger along the battery pack of his hearing aid, “then it’s because I’m partially deaf and need these to hear properly. If you’re talking about these,” Steve gently tugged on his plug, “then it’s because when I was a teenager I decided that I wanted to stretch them.”

     “When you say you stretched your ears, do you mean like the Aztecs and the Mayans did?” Frankie asked, smiling shyly.

     “Yeah, something like that.” Steve said, smiling kindly at him.

     “Why would you want to do that?” Sammy asked, looking at him like he’d grown a second head.

     “Because I liked the way that it looked.” Steve said, shrugging. He glanced up when he heard someone shout. A livid looking woman was marching towards the group and he stood up, stepping in front of the kids protectively. “Can I help you, ma’am?”

     “Who the hell do you think you are?” She asked, glaring at him and pulling the girl who had been frowning at him away from the group. “You some kind of pervert or pedophile or something?”

     “He’s Kim and Scott’s uncle.” Sinthea whined, trying to pull her arm from the woman’s tight grip.

     The mother scowled at Steve and said, “I’ve met Rikki’s brother and Ezra’s siblings and you are most definitely not any of them.”

     “You’re right. I’m not one of Ezra’s siblings and I’m not Bucky.” Steve said, frowning slightly.

      “He’s Uncle Bucky’s boyfriend, Mrs. Schmidt.” Kim said, looking up at her friend’s mother with a small frown.

     The woman laughed and it sent a chill down Steve’s spine. He’d never heard a laugh sound that harsh and mocking, which was a feat in and of itself considering the amount of taunting he’d gone through. He glanced at Kim and he could tell that she knew Mrs. Schmidt didn’t believe her. Mrs. Schmidt looked over at him and said, “There’s no way that Bucky would date a tattooed freak. He might not be the brightest but does have some taste.”

     “Uncle Steve is not a freak!” The twins yelled in unison, glaring at the older woman.

     Steve couldn’t blame them. He wanted to yell at her too about the comment on Bucky’s intelligence but he had enough to deal with considering she thought he was some random pervert trying to steal her kid. Sighing, he looked around and noticed that a couple of the other parents were watching them curiously but Bucky, Ezra, and Becca were still out of hearing range. Turning his attention back to the twins, he smiled tightly and said, “Why don’t you two go get one of your parents?”

     Kim shot Mrs. Schmidt a glare before running off back in the direction that Steve came from whereas Scott stuck close to Steve’s leg, glaring up at the older woman. When Steve tried to get him to follow his sister, Scott just muttered, “I’m not leaving you alone with her.”

     Resting his hand on Scott’s head, Steve turned to the other kids and said, “Why don’t you guys go back to playing. I’m sure Scott and Kim will join you all shortly.”

     The kids all shared skeptical looks before Val said, “C’mon guys. This is boring adult stuff. Let’s go play on the swings.”

     The older kids looked around curiously before following their friend over to the swings. Scott remained by his side, glaring up at Mrs. Schmidt. Mrs. Schmidt was studying Steve coldly and Steve just looked at her calmly. As much as he wanted to shout at her for insulting him and insulting Bucky, there was no use getting riled up. At least, not yet. She had a legitimate reason to be skeptical of him, even if she could have done so without insulting him or Bucky. Steve glanced over in the direction that Kim had gone and snorted softly. Kim had a tight grip on Bucky’s hand and was tugging him along. Becca and Ezra were following behind them with matching smiles. In any other situation, Steve probably would have found the fact that Bucky was being dragged along by his seven-year-old niece incredibly adorable, but, in this moment, he just felt sick to his stomach.

     Once Kim had reached them again, she turned to Bucky and said, “Now, would you please tell Mrs. Schmidt that Uncle Steve isn’t lying when he says that you two are dating?”

     “And that he’s not a freak.” Scott added, turning his attention to his uncle.

     Kim nodded and added, “Or a pervert.”

     Scott wrinkled his nose and said, “Or whatever a pedophile is.”

     “Whoa, whoa, what?” Bucky said, looking between his niece and his nephew in confusion. He looked over at Steve and asked, “What are they talking about?”

     Mrs. Schmidt made an offended noise but Steve ignored her. He waited until Becca and Ezra had joined their little group before he explained, “I was talking to Scott and Kim, and their friends, when Mrs. Schmidt came over and pulled who I assume is her daughter away from the rest of the group. She asked me what I was doing and who I was-”

     “She asked if you were a pervert or a pedophile or something.” Kim added, glaring at Mrs. Schmidt.

     Steve pinched the bridge of his nose and said, “Which, given that she has no idea who I am, is a perfectly legitimate question.”

     “Yeah but calling you a freak and calling Uncle Bucky stupid isn’t!” Scott argued.

     “I didn’t call him stupid.” Mrs. Schmidt said, rolling her eyes.

     Before Scott or Kim could argue, Steve said, “Guys, why don’t you go play with your friends. Enjoy your party.”

     Scott and Kim shared a look before they grudgingly agreed and headed off to play with their friends, taking Sinthea with them. Steve watched the three of them join their friends before he turned back to the group and looked over at Becca. She frowned and, looking over at Mrs. Schmidt, asked, “Did you actually call Steve a pervert and a pedophile?”

     “I didn’t know that he was Bucky’s boyfriend.” Mrs. Schmidt said primly.

     “The twins told you who I was, ma’am.” Steve said, tilting his chin up. “And your only reply was to laugh and say ‘there’s no way that Bucky would date a tattooed freak. He might not be the brightest but does have some taste.’”

     Bucky frowned and Ezra looked at the other woman as though she’d grown another head. Becca scowled and asked, “Did you really say that, Susan?”

     Mrs. Schmidt straightened herself to her full height and said, “I said no such thing.”

     Steve blinked and stared at the other woman. Shaking his head, he turned to Becca, who was looking at him with a conflicted look, and said, “You can believe me or not but, Becca, I’ve never lied to you and I’ve got no reason to start now.”

     “I know, Steve.” Becca said, sighing softly and running a hand through her hair.  
Shifting from foot to foot, Steve said, “Look, I’m not going to make a big deal out of this because I’d rather not ruin Scott and Kim’s birthday. She said what she said, if she doesn’t want to admit to it for whatever reason, I can’t make her.

     Mrs. Schmidt made a noise as though she was going to argue but Becca cut her off, her voice tight and angry. “Don’t. Even.”

     Steve looked over at Mrs. Schmidt, who looked torn between her want to argue and some sort of newfound self-preservation, and said, “Say what you want about me, but if I ever hear you insult Bucky again, we’re going to have a problem and I’m not going to bite my tongue.” Without waiting for anyone else to respond, Steve turned on his heel and headed over to the swing garden to play with the twins and their friends. He meant what he said about not letting this ruin the twins’ birthday. He plastered on a smile and gave the twins a hug before helping them push their friends on the swings.

     Scott and Kim didn’t say anything to him about what Mrs. Schmidt had said to him when he returned but the little Schmidt girl pulled him aside in between his bouts of pushing the other kids. Moving off to the side, he knelt down to be on her eye level and asked, “Yeah, Sinthea?”

     “Call me Thea. I just wanted to say that I’m sorry about my stepmom. Susan doesn’t like guys like you very much. Neither does my dad.”

     “It’s not your fault, Thea. Just, promise me that you’ll try not to judge people before you get to know them?”

     Thea nodded and said, “Sure thing, Mr. Steve.” She glanced towards her stepmom and whispered, “Don’t tell Susan but I think your tattoos look really cool.”

     Steve smiled kindly and said, “Thank you, Thea. Why don’t we get back to the others, yeah?”

     Thea nodded and dashed off to play with the others while Steve went back to pushing a couple of the kids on the swings. It wasn’t long before Scott and Kim, along with the others, decided that they wanted to play in the Water Lab*. Steve, along with most of the other parents, migrated with the kids over to the Water Lab and kept an eye on them while Bucky and Ezra set up their group picnic. Even though he’d worn his waterproof hearing aids, he wanted to stay out of the water as long as possible. As Steve watched Scott and Kim play in the water with their friends, Becca sidled up to him and murmured, “I’m sorry about Susan.”

     “I’ve had worse reactions from parents.” Steve admitted, glancing over at Becca. “When I worked at the center in college, a lot of the parents were deeply mistrustful of me. Honestly, it’s not the first time I’ve been called a pervert.”

     “Why? You’re like...no offense but even I could snap you in half with a well-placed hit.” Becca said, frowning.

     Steve chuckled and, looking back at the twins, said, “It was partially the tattoos and partially the fact that I was the only white guy there.” He shrugged and added, “I really didn’t care what she called me, Becca. I was more offended that she called Bucky dim.”

     “Thing is, I told her what you looked like.” Becca said, leaning on the fence and watching her kids play. Steve looked over at her curiously and she added, “I showed all the parents a photo of you and Bucky so that they wouldn’t freak out if they saw either of you talking to the kids. I even made sure that your tattoos were visible in the photo that I sent.”

     “So...she just wanted to cause a scene.” Steve murmured, frowning.

     “Pretty much.” Becca looked over at him and said, “She said that after today she’s not going to let Sinthea hang out with the twins if we’re going to allow them to spend time with you. Something about you being a poor influence and a deviant.” She shrugged. “I wasn’t exactly listening. I just told her that it was a shame that she was so narrow minded and that I hoped her daughter turned out better than her.”

     “I’m sorry, Becca.” Steve said, looking down.

     Becca nudged him with her shoulder and said, “It’s fine, Steve. She and her husband aren’t really the type of people we want Scott and Kim around anyway. Susan and Johann are very conservative and spew hate left and right so I’m not all that concerned that my kids aren’t going to be around them anymore. It’s just a shame that they’re losing a friend because of it. Thea’s a good kid.”

     “I’m just worried that Thea’s going to turn out like them.” Steve said, frowning and looking up at the kids. Thea and Sammy were climbing on the rocks with Carter and Maya. Scott and Kim were having a splash war with Katie, Frankie, and Val. Nezhno, Alani, and James were darting between the groups.

     Before Becca could say anything else, Scott turned and yelled, “Uncle Steve! Come play with us!”

     Steve shoved himself off the fence and shot Becca a smile before he headed into the fray to get to Scott and Kim. Once he joined them, all the kids decided it was time to play “superheroes and villains.” He somehow ended up being the “supervillain” in their game. He wasn’t exactly sure how that happened or what the rules of the game was but it seemed like tag but instead of one person being it, he was the one who had to avoid all of the kids. At one point, he ended up just lying on the ground and letting the Val “catch” him because it felt as though his chest was going to burst. She sat by his head and asked, “Are you okay, Mr. Steve?”

     “I just need to rest for a bit.” Steve panted, closing his eyes. After a moment, he sat up and smiled at her. She smiled shyly back.

     Kim came up to them holding out her hand to help her friend up, said, “Congrats on being the one to catch the big bad supervillain. Mom says we need to go in now because lunch is ready.” She looked over at Steve, slightly concerned, and asked, “Do I need to get Uncle Bucky?”

     “Nah, I’m good.” Steve said, hauling himself up off the ground. He walked back to where Becca was waiting with the kids. Kim held on to his hand and chatted with her friend happily. Steve rubbed his chest and absentmindedly wondered if Bucky grabbed his inhaler since he was fairly certain that it wasn’t in his pocket.

     They walked over to the grassy area and Steve smiled slightly when he saw Bucky herding the kids onto a large checkered blanket. Kim and her friend went to join the others while Steve followed Becca towards her husband. There was a clear divide in the parents; a small group had gathered around Mrs. Schmidt and another, larger, group had gathered around Ezra. Steve thought he recognized one of the moms but brushed it off in favor of grabbing a bottle of water from a cooler. He stood beside Ezra and, sipping his water, looked around the group before he turned his attention back to Bucky. He watched his boyfriend hand out bagged lunches to the kids and smiled slightly to himself.

     “Excuse me? Are you Steve? Steve Rogers?”

     Steve looked over and saw one of the mom’s looking at him curiously. He nodded and said, “Yeah. Do we know each other?”

     The woman chuckled and shook her head. “Not really.” She held out her hand and, as Steve shook it, said, “I’m Sue Richards. Though you might know me as Sue Storm.”

     “You’re Johnny’s older sister.” Steve said, blinking slowly.

     “Yeah.” Sue smiled and added, “Weird coincidence, huh?”

     Steve smiled and nodded. He rubbed the back of his neck and asked, “How’s Johnny doing, anyway? I don’t think I’ve seen him since high school.”

     “Moved out to California to be a movie star. Married now. Met a girl on set and they fell in love. I think her name’s Lyja but she goes by Laura.” Sue replied, smiling to herself. She frowned then added, “Or maybe her name was Laura but she goes by Lyja. It’s one of the two, she answers to both so.” Sue shrugged.

     “I assume your kid is friends with Scott and Kim?”

     “Both of them, actually. Franklin and Valeria.”

     “Kim would’ve introduced them as Frankie and Val?”

     Sue chuckled and said, “Yes.” She glanced over at the group gathered around Mrs. Schmidt and said, “If Frankie and Val weren’t friends with Thea I’d avoid Susan and her husband at all costs.”

     Steve smiled slightly. “Becca said the same thing. Who’s over there with her anyway?”

     “That would be her husband, Johann Schmidt, along with Wilson Fisk and his wife, Vanessa Mariana. Wilson and Vanessa are Maya’s adoptive parents. They aren’t as bad as Johann and Susan but they are pretty conservative still.”

     Steve looked around at the rest of their group and asked, “And who are the rest of these people?”

     Sue smiled kindly and said, “That’s Jim and Maggie Power; they’re Katie’s parents. They have three other kids besides Katie. That’s Claude Paré; he’s Sammy’s father. Mrs. Paré had to work today or she'd also be here. That’s Anne Ghazikhanian; she’s Carter’s mom. That’s Mr. and Mrs. Abidemi; I’m not actually sure what their first names are but they’re Nezhno’s parents. That’s Alaka’i Ryan; he’s Alani’s father. Mrs. Ryan also had to work today. And last but certainly not least is Neal and Maria Proudstar; they’re James’ parents. My husband, Reed, is the one talking to Ezra right now.”

     “Thank you. At least I won’t be completely lost now.” Steve said, smiling slightly.

     “Not a problem, Steve.” Sue said, smiling.

     Without Steve noticing, Bucky sidled up to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. Pressing a kiss to Steve’s temple, he murmured, “Hey, scumpule.”

     Glancing up at Bucky, Steve asked, “Did you happen to grab my inhaler?”

     Bucky pulled it out of his pocket and, handing it over, said, “Yeah, figured you might need it today.”

     Steve shot him a grateful smile before he took a deep breath of medicine from his inhaler. He handed it back to Bucky, who merely tucked it back into his pocket, and said, “Thanks, Buck.”

     “No problem, Stevie.” Bucky said, smiling kindly. He looked over at Sue and, smiling brightly, held out his hand. “Hi, I’m Bucky. Becca’s brother.”

     Sue smiled and shook his hand. “Sue Richards. Frankie and Val’s mom.”

     “Nice to meet you, Sue.” Bucky said, dropping his hand back by his side.

     “Becca tells me you’re in the military?”

     “Yes, ma’am. I’m on leave right now, actually.”

     “That’s great that you were able to make it in time for the twin’s birthday.” Sue said, smiling.

     Bucky nodded. “I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to but it’s nice to finally be back home.”

     Becca wandered over to them and said, “Come on you three. We should probably eat before the kids decide they want the cake.”

     Steve nodded and allowed Bucky to steer him over to a dark blue blanket and sat down beside him. Becca tossed them two bagged lunches before handing the rest out to the other parents. He set aside his bottle of water and opened the bag while Bucky popped open a bottle of water for himself. They ate lunch in a comfortable silence, watching the kids interact as they ate their own lunches. Steve sighed contentedly and wondered, briefly, what it would be like to have kids. He knew he didn’t want to pass on his genetics but there was always adoption. And with adoption he could always adopt a child that was a little older so he wouldn’t really have to worry about either of their immune systems. He glanced over at Bucky and smiled. Bucky had finished his lunch and was stretched out on the blanket with his eyes closed. Steve looked back down at his sandwich and frowned when he remembered that Bucky had said that he didn’t really want kids. He took a bite of his sandwich and, chewing slowly, wondered if not having kids was a non-negotiable thing with Bucky. If it was, he figured that always being the honorary uncle wouldn’t be that bad.

     “You okay, Stevie?” Bucky asked, pulling Steve from his thoughts.

     Steve looked over at him and gave him a small smile. “Yeah. Just thinking.”

     “About?” Bucky asked, rolling onto his side.

     Blushing, Steve looked back down at his sandwich and muttered, “It’s nothing.”

     Bucky reached over and placed his hand on Steve’s thigh. When Steve looked over at him, he smiled slightly and asked, “You now you can talk to me about anything, yeah?”

     Steve looked down at Bucky’s hand and murmured, “I know. Maybe later, not right now though.”

     “Alright, Stevie.” Bucky said, rubbing Steve’s thigh for a second before he went back to watching the clouds.

     Steve finished off his lunch and looked up when he heard the kids starting to sing Happy Birthday. He smiled and watched as the kids dig into their pieces of cake. Once they finished, Becca had the kids clean up their messes and they started to play a game that Steve didn’t recognize. He nudged his boyfriend’s knee and asked, “What are they playing?”

     Bucky glanced over at them and said, “Sleeping Lions. It’s a good wind-down game for kids at the end of parties.”

     “Wind down? Already?”

     “Steve, it’s been almost two hours.” Bucky said, smiling slightly. “For kids Scott and Kim’s age, parties don’t usually last longer than an hour and a half. Unless the party is a sleepover that is.”

     “Huh. I hadn’t realized it’d been that long already.” Steve said, looking around.

     “Time flies when you’re having fun.” Bucky said, shrugging. Glancing over at Steve, he smirked and added, “Or being chased by tiny children.”

     “I am literally only three feet taller than them. If the two tallest stand on each other, they’d be taller than me.” Steve said, rolling his eyes.

     “They are tiny children.” Bucky said, smirking.

     Steve punched him in the arm and said, “Jerkface.”

     “Punkass.”

     “Twiddle-diddle.”

     Bucky laughed, his eyes crinkling at the edges, and looked over at Steve. He raised an eyebrow and asked, “What does that even mean?”

     “I’ll tell you later.” Steve said, smiling slightly and standing up. The kids were starting to leave with their parents so he and Bucky helped Ezra pack things up. He was folding a blanket when he felt someone tug on his shirt. Glancing over, he saw Val looking up at him. Smiling, he knelt down and said, “Is there something I can help you with, Miss Val?”

     Instead of answering, she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tight. Steve smiled slightly and hugged her back. When she pulled away, Val smiled at him and said, “You’re a pretty good guy, Mr. Steve. I’m glad that you were able to come play with us today. Scotty and Kim were worried you might get sick.”

     Steve smiled slightly and said, “Well, I didn’t. And it was no problem, Val. I hope you and your brother had a good time today.”

     Val nodded and glanced back at Sue when she called her name. Val turned back to Steve and said, “I’ve got to get going.” She gave him another hug and bolted back towards her mother, calling over her shoulder, “I’ll see you around, Mr. Steve!”

     Smiling slightly, Steve stood up and grabbed the blanket he’d been folding. Once Val was back with her mother, he turned his attention back to Bucky. Bucky was watching him with a thoughtful look; it reminded him of the look Bucky got whenever he was talking about a particularly difficult engine. Raising an eyebrow, Steve asked, “You okay, a stór?”

     “Just thinking. We can talk about it later.” Bucky said, shooting Steve a small smile.

     Steve shot him a skeptical look but continued to help Becca and Ezra pack things up. Once they’d packed everything up and said goodbye to Bucky’s family, Steve and Bucky headed back to the apartment to rest before dinner. Bucky was quiet the entire way home and Steve wondered if everything was okay. When they made it back to the apartment, Steve switched out the laundry and Bucky headed to the living room. After turning on the dryer, Steve switched out of his wet clothes into a pair of dry sweats and one of Bucky’s tank tops. He headed into the living room and saw Bucky sitting on the couch, rubbing lotion onto his tattoo. Bucky looked up and smiled slightly. “Hey, scumpule.”

     “Hey, mo ghrá geal.” Steve said, walking over to curl up on the couch beside him.

     Bucky set aside the lotion and leaned back into the couch. Tilting his head, he studied Steve for a moment. Steve blushed and looked down at his sweatpants. He was picking off the lint when Bucky said, “You were really good with the kids today.”

     “So were you.” Steve murmured, glancing up at Bucky.

     Smiling, Bucky rested his arm on the back of the couch and ran his fingers through Steve’s hair, toying with it. Steve shut his eyes and leaned into Bucky’s touch as Bucky murmured, “I really liked seeing you interacting with the kids today.”

     Steve looked up at him and said, “I liked seeing you with them too. You’re very good with them.”

     “I know it’s early in our relationship but...I think I changed my mind on kids…” Bucky said, looking down.

     “I think I changed mine too.” Steve admitted, smiling slightly.

     Bucky looked up at him and smiled. “Really?”

     “Yeah. I mean….maybe when you do get out and we get settled down for good...” Steve trailed off and shrugged.

     Leaning over, Bucky kissed him and murmured, “Let’s table it for now then. Just knowing that it’s a possibility is enough.”

     Steve grinned and was about to kiss Bucky again when his phone went off. Groaning, he pulled away and dug his phone out of his pocket. It was Bruce. Hitting the accept call button, Steve put the phone to his ear and said, “Hello?”

     “Hey, Steve. Sorry to bug you on your day off but Tony wants to know if you and Bucky want to go with us to a Mets game on the 10th. Apparently he forgot to ask when he headed over there this morning.”

     “Tony hates baseball.” Steve said, frowning slightly.

     “No, Tony hates the Mets. He actually does like baseball.”

     “Seriously? All these years and he never corrected me. The bastard.” Steve said, rolling his eyes. “Well, if he hates the Mets, why would he want to take me and Bucky to a game?”

     “Probably because it’s Disability Awareness Night and Pepper is forcing him to go so he’s dragging along as many of us as he can.”

     “Which is how many so far?”

     “Me. Everyone else already had stuff to do.”

     “He waited until the last minute again, didn’t he?”

     “He honestly forgot this time. He was distracted by the girls in STEM thing and the fact that Obadiah is being released this month.”

     “Shit, I forgot that bastard was being released this year.” Steve ran a hand through his hair and looked up at Bucky. “Hey, how about a baseball game on the 10th? Tony’s treat.”

     Bucky shrugged. “That’s fine with me. I was planning for our first one to be on the 15th but if Tony’s footing the bill and it’s to distract him from something bad then why not?”

      Steve shot his boyfriend a small smile then turned his attention back to Bruce. “Yeah, we’ll go. I’ll have to get that night off but I’m sure that one of the others will be fine with me taking time off. They want me out of that shop as much as possible.”

     “80 hours, Steve. 80 hours.” Bucky said, raising an eyebrow.

     “I know, Bucky.” Steve said, rolling his eyes.

     Bruce chuckled and said, “I’ll let him know. Have a good rest of the day, Steve.”

     “Will do, Bruce. Have fun at the gala tonight.”

     “I’ll try.” Bruce said before he bid Steve adieu and hung up the phone.

     Steve hung up and set his phone aside. Curling back into the couch, he looked over at his boyfriend and said, “So, what do you want to do until we have to go to dinner?”

     “Just lay here with you.” Bucky admitted, smiling gently.

     “You want big spoon or little spoon?” Steve asked, tilting his head to the side.

     Bucky thought about it for a moment then said, “I think I want little spoon.”

     Nodding, Steve shifted so he was lying on his back and smiled when Bucky curled up with his head on Steve’s shoulder. Wrapping an arm around Bucky’s shoulders, Steve pressed a kiss against Bucky’s forehead and ran his fingers through his boyfriend’s hair. Bucky hummed softly and closed his eyes, practically melting into Steve’s touch. Steve closed his eyes and continued to run his fingers through Bucky’s hair, letting his mind wander. There wasn’t anything really concrete, just a few flashes of color and a snippet or two of a long forgotten conversation with his mother. The last thought he had before he drifted off to sleep was what his mother would think of Bucky. He hoped that she would like him.

     Steve wasn’t sure how long he was asleep but he groaned softly when he heard Bucky’s phone going off. Bucky grunted and picked it up, humming softly to acknowledge that he was awake to the other person. Steve sighed and blinked open his eyes, glancing over at his clock. He frowned when he saw that it was almost six.

     “Fuck, I didn’t-” Bucky paused then frowned and said, “It wasn’t like it was on purpose, Becca; we fell asleep on the couch.” Bucky shoved himself up off the couch and started to pace.

     Steve sat up and ran a hand through his hair as Bucky moved around the living room. Steve frowned and said, “We're not gonna make it over to your sister's house in time.”

     Bucky shot him a _no shit_ look. He listened to his sister for a moment then said, “Becca wants to know if they can just come over here. They're already picking up dinner from some restaurant that the twins picked.”

     “Yeah, sure. We just have to pick up a little.” Steve said, rolling off the couch.

     Bucky turned his attention back to his sister and said, “Yeah, you guys can come here.” He paused then said, “Alright. We’ll have it presentable in twenty minutes.” He chuckled and said, “Alright, I love you too. Bye.” He hung up his phone and shoved it in his pocket.

     Steve glanced up from where he was picking up his art supplies and said, “Can you pick up the cat toys?” Nodding, Bucky gathered up Nyota and Monty’s toys and put them in the box by their tree. Steve headed back to the bedroom to put up his art things. Monty and Ny watched him as he put them away and, on his way back out, he stopped to scratch behind their ears.

     Before he knew it, he heard the buzzer going off. As he danced over to the intercom, Bucky said, “I got it!” Steve smiled slightly and finished wiping down the dining table. He heard Bucky buzz Becca and her family up. A minute later, there was a knock on the door and Bucky went to answer it while Steve pulled plates from the kitchen cabinet.

     Becca breezed into the kitchen and dropped a kiss on Steve’s cheek as she set the bag of food down. She started pulling containers out and said, “The kids decided they wanted Asian food so we got a little bit of...well...everything.”

     Steve stared at her for a beat before he shook it off and said, “That’s fine. I’m sorry that Buck and I fell asleep. That so was not part of the plan.”

     “It’s alright. We figured that you would. And besides, the twins love it over here.” Becca said, smiling slightly. Steve opened his mouth to say something but lost his train of thought when he heard a disgruntled meow from behind him. He turned around and smiled. The twins were sitting on the floor, cuddling with Monty and Ny. Steve caught Bucky’s eye and his boyfriend smiled. Bucky shrugged and said, “They came out of the bedroom when they heard the door open.”

     Chuckling, Steve shook his head and continued to pull out plates and silverware for them as Becca started opening containers. Once everything was set up, they called the others in to make their plates. The twins insisted on being able to make their own plates since it was their birthday and Steve smiled as Becca helped them by telling them what was in each container. Once they all had their food and drinks, they migrated to the dining room table to eat.

     In the middle of dinner, Steve stopped eating and just looked around the table. Scott and Kim were talking excitedly to Bucky about their upcoming gymnastics and martial arts meets. Becca was watching her brother and her kids with a fond smile as she ate. Ezra would interject whenever one of the twins forgot to mention something but was otherwise focusing on his food and enjoying being with his family. Steve set his fork down and leaned back in his chair, struck by how normal this felt. Bucky had been back stateside for all of a week and already it felt as though he’d been here for far longer. Shit. It’d only been a week. How the hell did he get so comfortable with his boyfriend in a week? Was this normal for long distance relationships? He’d already admitted that Bucky felt like home and Bucky had said that he thought he found a home here with him. Hell, they’d already started venturing into the sexual side of their relationship even though he’d assumed they wouldn’t until Bucky had been home at least two weeks. Sure, it’d only been a couple times and it wasn’t as far as his friends assumed they’d gone but it was more than he thought he’d do. They even talked about kids today. Fuck. They talked about kids today. What the hell was he thinking?

     “Steve?” Bucky asked, pulling him from his thoughts.

     Steve looked up at Bucky and smiled shakily. “Yeah?”

     Bucky shot him a concerned look and asked, “Are you okay?”

     Nodding, Steve said, “Yeah. Just thinking.”

     “Care to share?” Becca asked, raising an eyebrow.

     Steve shook his head and said, “I just realized that I need to call Natasha later.”

     Bucky nodded and said, “If you’re done, I was going to go grab the twins’ presents.”

     Glancing down at his half-finished plate, Steve nodded and said, “Yeah. I’m not very hungry right now.”

     Becca eyed him curiously before she nodded and cleared away their plates. Bucky shot him a curious look before getting up and heading to the bedroom to get the gifts. The twins shared a look before leaning their heads together and whispering, obviously curious about what they’d gotten them. Ezra looked over at him and whispered, “I know that look. The one you got earlier while zoned out.”

     Steve looked at him and smiled weakly. “Yeah? Any suggestions?”

     Ezra smiled and said, “Don’t over-think things, Steve. Whatever pace you’re going at is the right one, even if it’s not the one you thought you’d be going at. Whatever you’re feeling is...normal. Yeah, it might be a little scary to feel so much so soon but that’s okay. It’s okay to feel so deeply and to be scared of it. Just don’t let that fear make you do something that you don’t want.”

     Steve stared at Ezra for a moment then, in a small voice, asked, “How’d you know?”

     “Because you made the same face I did when I realized I wanted to marry Rikki. Partial awe but mostly terror.” Ezra said, smiling slightly. He took a sip of his water and added, “Of course, I’m not saying that you want to marry Bucky but I know that look and I figured that it would be similar enough that I could give some sort of advice.”

     Steve nodded slowly and said, “Thank you, Ezra.”

     Ezra smiled brightly and said, “It’s no problem. Even if you and Bucky weren’t dating, the twins would still consider you their honorary uncle. Which, funny enough, makes you family whether you like it or not.”

     Chuckling, Steve nodded and said, “I figured as much.”

     Before either of them could say anything else, Becca and Bucky returned. The twins perked up and grinned brightly when their presents were set in front of them. Bucky settled back down in his seat beside Steve and watched his niece and nephew bounce excitedly in their chairs. Becca sat back down in her chair beside Ezra and said, “Open the joint present first and then your individual ones.”

     “Okay, Mom!” The twins chirped before opening the one marked with both of their names.

     Kim squeaked in excitement and said, “Sweet! Thanks Uncle Bucky! Thanks Uncle Steve!”

     “You’re welcome, darling.” Bucky said, leaning back in his chair.

     “No problem, sweetheart.” Steve said, leaning against Bucky. He took a sip of his water as they tore in to their other ones and smiled when their excitement rendered them unable to communicate outside of excited squeaks and vigorous hand-flapping. Before he knew it, Scott was occupying his lap while Kim had hopped on Bucky’s lap. Both of them were hugging their respective uncle tightly and saying thank you over and over again. Steve patted Scott’s back and said, “You’re welcome, Scotty.”

     Once the twins had calmed down, they said, “You guys are the best uncles ever.”

     Bucky laughed and said, “I’m glad you guys think so.”

     Becca checked her watch and said, “I know you two are excited but we need to get you two to bed.”

     The twins whined softly but climbed off Steve and Bucky’s laps. They gathered the smaller parts of their presents and said goodbye to Steve and Bucky. Ezra and Becca grabbed the larger parts and said goodbye before herding the twins out the door. Steve followed behind them and locked the door when they left. Bucky cleaned up the wrapping paper and tossed it in the trash before he started packing away the leftovers. Steve leaned against the wall and watched his boyfriend move around the kitchen. After Bucky had put away the last Tupperware container, he said, “Let’s go to bed.”

     Bucky glanced over at him and asked, “I thought you needed to call Natasha?”

     “Ezra helped with what I needed to talk to her about.” Steve said, shrugging.

     Nodding, Bucky headed back into the living room for a moment. When he returned, Steve saw their cellphones in his hand and he smiled slightly. Bucky took his hand and lead him back to the bedroom. They changed into shorts and crawled into bed. After plugging in his phone, Steve took his glasses off and his hearing aids out and set both of them on his nightstand. He curled up next to his boyfriend and Bucky ran his fingers through Steve’s hair. After a few minutes, Bucky said something that Steve couldn’t hear. Frowning, Steve lifted his head and shot his boyfriend a curious look. Bucky cleared his throat and asked, louder this time so that Steve could hear him, “Is everything okay?”

     Steve nodded and said, “Yeah, I just…” Steve blushed and looked down at Bucky’s chest. Running his fingers through Bucky’s chest hair, he mumbled, “I just had a brief moment of panic when I realized you’d only been here for a week.”

     “Oh…” Bucky reached up and held Steve’s hand. “Do you want to slow down or…?”

     “No.” Steve looked up and smiled shyly. “It’s alright. Ezra helped me realized that what I was feeling was normal and that…” Steve paused for a beat. “That it was okay to be scared but that I shouldn’t let fear make me do something that I didn’t want to.”

     Bucky ran his fingers through Steve’s hair and asked, “What exactly were you scared of?”

     “How hard I’ve fallen for you, how easy it is to be with you, and how comfortable I am with you.” Steve leaned into Bucky’s touch and closed his eyes. “Buck, we literally talked about having kids today and you’ve only been home a week.”

     “It feels like it’s been so much longer.” Bucky said, stroking Steve’s cheek.

     Steve curled closer to his boyfriend and said, “I know what you mean.” Opening his eyes, he looked at Bucky and said, “I was surprised Ezra knew what I was thinking.”

     “He’s a smart guy. Becca chose a good one.” Bucky said, smiling kindly.

     “That she did.” Steve said, looking down. “He said he recognized the look I had because he had the same one on his face when he realized he wanted to marry Becca.”

     “Mild awe, mostly terror, and a healthy dose of what the fuck? Yeah, that sounds about right.” Bucky said, running his fingers through Steve’s hair and chuckling softly. After a beat, he added, “I love you, Steve. I know we’re both in this for the long haul but I also know that it’s mildly terrifying that we actually talked about adopting kids today. And that we admitted that we found a home in each other. I just…” Bucky trailed off and sighed.

     Steve looked up at Bucky and asked, “What?”

     “After seeing what I’ve seen overseas, I know how important it is to appreciate every day that you’re given with the ones that you love. Now, I’m not saying that we run out and get married. Because that is just kinda…”

     “Irresponsible and the type of thing one only does while in Vegas?” Steve suggested, smiling slightly.

     “I was going to go with something that we’re not ready for but yeah. That works too.” Bucky said, smiling. He cupped Steve’s cheek and added, “But we can talk about how deeply we feel for each other. And how much that terrifies us.”

     Shooting him a curious look, Steve asked, “Does it terrify you?”

     Bucky smiled slightly and said, “More than I can begin to express. But I’d rather take the terror of being head over heels in love with you than the emptiness of not having you.”

     “Agreed.” Steve murmured as he curled back up with his head on Bucky’s chest.

     Bucky pressed a kiss to the crown of Steve’s head and held him close. “Good night, scumpule.”

     “Good night, a stór.” Steve murmured.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Water Lab: This is what I’m told the water attraction thing on Pier Six is called. Any native New Yorkers feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.


	20. Lazing on a Sunday Afternoon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brunch, headaches, and HaCF.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I added a tentative number for the total number of chapters. This is based off of how many chapters I wrote for the first arc multiplied by 5 with a few extras thrown in, just in case. This number is subject to change.
> 
> 2/18/16: update on the formating

     Groaning softly, Steve shifted against Bucky and muttered, “It can’t be time to get up already.”

     “We’ve got like an hour before we absolutely have to get up.” Bucky said, curling his arms around Steve and pulling him closer.

     Steve was privately thankful that Bucky had gotten used to modulating his voice to fit whether or not he was wearing his hearing aids. It got really old, really fast whenever he had to have to ask people to keep repeating themselves or to speak up. He smiled when he remembered the time that Bruce had dragged everyone except Sam and Natasha to ASL classes because he was tired of all of the shouting. Steve knew that Bruce would have dragged Sam and Natasha too if it weren’t for the fact that both of them had learned when they were younger.

     Shoving his face into his boyfriend’s neck, Steve inhaled deeply and curled around his boyfriend. He felt rather than heard his boyfriend chuckle and he grouchily muttered, “What?”

     “Has anyone told you that you’re absolutely ado-...cute when you’re half-asleep?” Bucky asked.

     Steve grunted softly and said, “You have. Multiple times.”

     Bucky tilted his head to the side and pressed a kiss to Steve’s forehead. “Well you are.”

     Humming, Steve peaked at his boyfriend through his lashes to find Bucky watching him. He lifted his head and said, “Can I help you?”

     “You can kiss me.”

     “Mmm, maybe after we’ve brushed our teeth. Morning breath isn’t all that attractive.” Steve said, smiling slightly.

     Bucky groaned softly and said, “Yeah but that requires getting out of bed.”

     “Hmm. I guess you’re waiting for a kiss then.” Steve said, raising an eyebrow. Humming, Bucky rolled over on his side and wrapped himself around Steve. Steve chuckled and, running his fingers through Bucky’s hair, said, “You know...you can call me adorable again.”

     “Yeah?” Bucky asked, shifting back far enough to look at him.

     Nodding, Steve said, “Yeah. I’m not as upset about it anymore.”

     Bucky smiled slightly and said, “Alright. Good to know.”

     Steve looked over when Monty and Ny hopped up on the bed. He smiled when they wormed their way in between Bucky and Steve. Steve chuckled and scratched behind Ny’s ear as Monty curled up on Bucky’s stomach. He pressed a kiss on Ny’s head and murmured, “Good girl.”

     “I had a question about these two.” Bucky said, scratching under Monty’s chin.

     “Yeah?” Steve asked, looking over at his boyfriend.

     Bucky glanced up at Steve and asked, “Are they named after the Star Trek characters?”

     Blushing, Steve nodded and said, “Yeah. I’m surprised my friends didn’t catch that.”

     “It would’ve been more obvious if you’d named them Scotty and Uhura.” Bucky said, shrugging a shoulder.

     “Good thing that I didn’t want to go for the obvious.” Steve quipped, smiling slightly. Bucky hummed softly in affirmation and scratched behind Monty’s ear. They stayed like that for a while, curled up in bed with the cats between them. Steve was drifting back off to sleep when his alarm clock when off. Groaning, he rolled over and swatted at it until it shut off. He rolled out of bed and stretched his arms over his head, nearly moaning when his back shifted and popped a few times.

     “That does not sound healthy.” Bucky quipped.

     Steve turned around and saw Bucky studying him with a small frown. He shrugged and said, “I’m not all that healthy.” Bucky nodded, still frowning thoughtfully, and got out of bed. They headed out of the bedroom and started their morning routines; Bucky headed for the bathroom while Steve headed to the kitchen. Even though they were having brunch with Darcy and Loki today, Steve still had to have a little something in his stomach to take his medicine. After chowing down on some toast, he headed to the bathroom to take his meds and brush his teeth. Bucky wordlessly moved aside so that Steve could get to his things and continued to brush his teeth. Steve smiled to himself as he pulled out his pill container. It didn’t take them that long to finish up their morning routine and head back to the bedroom. Steve went to put his hearing aids in and his glasses on as Bucky headed towards the closet.

     Bucky rooted around in the closet for a moment then said, “Fuck, I don’t know what to wear.”

     “A white button up with that baby blue sweater your sister got for you and your pair of dark jeans. The ones without the holes.” Steve said, stripping out of his clothes and tossing them in the hamper.

     “You don’t think that’s too much?”

     Steve moved over to the dresser and selected a pair of black silk panties. He pulled them on and, looking up at Bucky, said, “Darcy will have just gotten back from church so it’s really not. I wouldn’t suggest dressing up more than that though.” He frowned and, after a beat, added, “Well, I say church but it’s not really church. More like a Sunday morning get together with a group of her old college friends where they talk about spiritual stuff.”

     “That’s...probably better than most church services I’ve been to.” Bucky said, shrugging. He looked back in the closet and asked, “Shoes?”

     “Black boots is what I’m going with.” Steve said, shrugging and pulling out an undershirt from his dresser. He pulled it on as Bucky pulled out his own clothes. As they moved around the room, Steve privately marveled at how in sync they were. He was lacing his boots up when Bucky cleared his throat. Looking up, he smiled when his boyfriend held his arms out and spun around to show off his outfit.

     “I feel weird dressed like this.” Bucky admitted, fidgeting with his sleeve.

     Steve stood up and said, “I know what you mean. I hate dressing like this but eh, I don’t have to get dressed up often.” Steve smirked playfully and added, “But, hey, you look hot so there’s that.”

     Chuckling, Bucky fiddled with the buttons on his sleeve. He looked over at Steve and, raking his gaze over his boyfriend’s body, said, “You don’t look half-bad yourself, punk.”

     Rolling his eyes, Steve stood up and said, “Thanks, jerk.”

     Bucky snapped his fingers and pointed at Steve. “You told me that you’d tell me what twiddle-diddle meant and you never did.”

     “Oh. It’s an old word for penis.” Steve said, smiling slightly.

     “So...you basically called me a dick.” Bucky asked, grinning.

     Steve shrugged and said, “Pretty much.”

     Laughing, Bucky shook his head and said, “You jackass.”

     Grinning, Steve said, “You love me.”

     “Damn right I do.” Bucky said, smiling. He glanced at the clock and added, “We better get going.” Turning his attention back to Steve, he asked, “We’re taking the bikes over, yeah? Or do you want to take the bus?”

     “It’s a nice enough day, let’s ride.” Steve said, heading over to his closet. He pulled out his overpants and quickly pulled them on over his jeans.

     Bucky did the same with his own pair and grabbed their motorcycle jackets as well. As he zipped up his jacket, he asked, “We taking both of them or just the Shadow?”

     Steve hummed softly before he said, “Both this time. Just so I can show you how to get to Darcy’s. If we go again, we can just take the Shadow. It’s not far but it’s easier for you to follow me the first time.”

     Bucky nodded and let Steve lead the way out of the bedroom. They grabbed their keys and wallets off the hall table. Steve made sure he grabbed his inhaler this time and shoved it in the pocket of his jacket. Bucky held out Steve’s helmet for him and Steve took it with a small smile. They headed out, Bucky locking the door behind them, and made their way down the stairs. Steve smiled at his neighbors as they passed them on the stairs but didn’t stop to talk to them. When they were finally street side, Steve headed over to his Rebel and, after setting his helmet on the ground, pulled the patched up cover off of it. He carefully folded it and tucked it into the saddlebag before he bent down to undo the lock on it. After tucking that in his saddle bag as well, he picked up his helmet and pulled on. He swung his leg over his bike and put the key in the ignition. He faintly heard the Shadow start up, smoother than he’d heard it start in years, and looked over at his boyfriend. Bucky was adjusting the strap on his helmet and raised an eyebrow at Steve when he noticed him looking at him.

     “What?” Bucky asked, shifting slightly to get comfortable.

     “I haven’t heard it start that smooth in years…” Steve admitted, shrugging a little. He turned back around and started up his own bike. It roared to life effortlessly and he smiled to himself.

     “I told you I was going to get it to run smoother.” Bucky said smugly.

     “Yeah, yeah. Show off.” Steve muttered, flipping his visor down and glancing up and down the street to check for cars. Once he made sure the coast was clear, Steve pulled out onto the road and headed towards Court Street. He glanced back and saw Bucky following him at a safe distance. Satisfied that he wouldn’t lose his boyfriend on the drive over, he turned his attention back to the street in front of him and focused on getting through the maze of one way streets. Steve honestly hated the one way streets because they made getting anywhere confusing as hell for anyone who hadn’t lived there at least a few years. One of these days he’d get fed up enough to just park at the end of the street instead of right in front of his building but that day hadn’t come yet so he was stuck doing a loop-de-loop to get where he needed to be.

     It was only about a ten minute drive for them since Steve decided to take them down Furman Street, but finding a place to park took far longer than he’d thought it would. They ended up finding a place to park about a block and a half away on a side street. After locking up and covering their bikes, they walked over to the Clock Tower building. Darcy was waiting for them outside the front door. Steve checked his watch and, looking up, said, “Hey, Darce. Sorry we’re late. Parking was a pain in the ass.”

     Darcy looked over at him and, smirking, asked, “The fun kind or nah?”

     Blushing, Steve rolled his eyes and said, “No. Not the fun kind.”

     Chuckling, Darcy shook her head and led them into the building. Darcy started telling them about this week’s get together with her friends, explaining who everyone was to Bucky since Steve already knew who her friends were. Once they were in the private elevator to the penthouse, Steve shucked off his overpants and Bucky followed suit. Darcy ignored them both in favor of fiddling with her phone. They both folded up their overpants and Bucky draped them across his arm before he slipped his hand into Steve’s. He laced their fingers together and Steve smiled slightly, gently squeezing Bucky’s hand. Darcy looked over at Bucky and, glancing down at their intertwined hands, said, “I hope you two are ready for a lot of food. Loki kind of goes all out when we have guests over for brunch.”

     “Is it just us this week?” Steve asked.

     Darcy shook her head. “Surprisingly, Thor and Jane are also coming. Though, they may already be here. Thor said something about wanting to help with the food.”

     Steve looked at Darcy and blinked. “Wow. Okay then. That’s new.”

     “I don’t know what happened but, a few weeks ago, Loki reached out to Thor. They’d mended their fences years ago but…” She shrugged. “They hadn’t had an in depth conversation in a couple months and I guess Loki just missed his brother.”

     Steve smiled and nodded. He could understand that. When the doors to the elevator opened, he heard laughter drifting through the apartment from the direction of the kitchen.

     “I can’t believe Thor actually did that.” Jane said, laughing.

     Loki snorted and said, “They say I was the trouble maker but this one was just as bad.”

     “Just wait, brother. You are not the only one with stories.” Thor said, his voice smug.

     Darcy and Steve shared a knowing look before she took the overpants from Bucky and dropped them on the nearest couch. She motioned for them to drop their jackets and helmets there as well. While they were undoing their jackets, she headed for the kitchen and called out, “I’m back! And I brought Mr. Rogers and Sergeant McHottie!”

     Bucky frowned and, looking over at Steve, asked, “Why do you get the formal name and I get a nickname?”

     Steve snorted. “Mr. Rogers is a nickname. It’s a reference to the fact that I look like Mr. Rogers whenever I wear cardigans.”

     “Ah.” Bucky said, nodding. He smiled and motioned for Steve to lead the way. Steve grinned and took his boyfriend’s hand. He headed in the direction of the kitchen and smiled when his friends came into view.

     “Steven!” Thor boomed, grinning brightly. Steve tried not to wince at the level of Thor’s voice and just smiled as his friend swept him up into a hug. Thor set him down and said, “It is good to see you well.” He turned his attention to Bucky and shot him a more reserved smile. “And you must be Sergeant Barnes. I’m Thor Odinson, it’s a pleasure to finally make your acquaintance.”

     Bucky smiled and held out a hand. “You can call me Bucky. Any friend of Steve’s is a friend of mine in my book so there’s no need for formalities.”

     Thor glanced at Bucky’s hand before he pulled Bucky into a bear hug, lifting the other man off the ground in the process. Bucky squeaked in surprise and Steve just laughed. Thor had always been a tactile person, even with strangers. When Bucky said that he considered Thor a friend, it had left Bucky open for the bear hug that Thor usually greeted his friends with and Steve didn’t feel the least bit sorry. The shocked squeak his boyfriend had just let out was worth it, even if he could feel the beginnings of a headache because of the noise.

     Jane shook her head and said, “Thor, darling, put the poor man down.”

     Bucky stared at Thor for a second before he said, “Well, that was different.” Bucky turned to Jane and smiled kindly at her.

     “I’m Jane Foster. Though, I think you already knew that.” Jane said, holding out her hand with a smile.

     “When I saw you had a doctorate, I looked up your thesis and read it over.” Bucky admitted with a slight blush. He shot her a shy smile and, shaking her hand, added, “And then proceeded to read a few of your other published papers.” He dropped her hand and tucked his into his back pocket. “Computer programming isn’t usually my thing but all of it was an interesting read.”

     “Thank you. I try to make the journal articles semi-readable to laymen.” Jane said, smiling slightly.

     “Well this layman thanks you very much for that.” Bucky said, smiling slightly. He turned his attention to Loki and inclined his head.

     Loki smiled and, holding out his hand, said, “Pleasure to finally meet you, Bucky. Steve and Darcy have told me a lot about you.”

     Bucky blushed slightly and, shaking Loki’s hand, said, “It’s a pleasure to meet you as well.”

     Loki tucked his hands into his pockets and said, “Darcy said you were a fan?”

     “Yeah.” Bucky said, rubbing the back of his neck.

     “Loki’s a very good musician, yes?” Thor asked, beaming.

     Bucky chuckled and nodded. “Quite. Jotunn's Rebellion is actually my favorite band. Has been since high school.”

     Thor grinned and, clapping Bucky on the shoulder, said, “Then you have excellent taste, my friend.”

     Loki snorted softly and said, “I think you’re a little biased, brother.”

     “Doesn’t mean it’s not true.” Darcy said, grinning. “And Bucky does have good taste, he’s dating Steve.”

     Steve blushed as his friends chuckled. Loki hummed softly and, nodding, said, “You do have a point there.”

     Bucky wrapped his arm around Steve’s shoulders and Steve snaked his arm around Bucky’s waist. Leaning into his boyfriend, Steve asked, “So, what exactly is for brunch?”

     “Loki made mascarpone stuffed French toast with a salted caramel banana sauce, a ton of sausage and bacon, a lot of scrambled eggs, spinach and mushroom quiche, and a fresh fruit salad.” Jane said, motioning to the bowls and plates of food along the counter behind Loki.

     “And let’s dig in before it gets cold, yes? Well, warm in the fruits’ case.” Loki said, moving aside to pull out plates for them to use.

     Steve unwound himself from his boyfriend and they hopped in line behind Jane. Once they’d all filled their plates and circled the table, the six of them fell into easy conversation as they ate. Darcy and Thor were discussing the possibility of Thor finally sitting down for a photoshoot for her. Bucky was talking with Jane about something computer related that was going far over Steve’s head. He glanced over at Loki, who merely shrugged and asked, “What’re your plans for the week, Steve?”

     “We’re going to a Mets game with Tony and Bruce on Tuesday and Bucky’s taking me to one, just the two of us, on the 15th. There’s nothing else that I can think of off the top of my head. I mean, Darcy’s birthday is on Friday but she hasn’t said anything about wanting a party or anything.”

     Loki smiled slightly and said, “She’s been talking to Clint about a joint birthday party on the 16th since that’s right between her birthday and his. I think the current plan is paintball but I’m not sure.”

     “Wait, Clint actually agreed to a birthday party?” Bucky asked, pulling himself out of his conversation with Jane.

     “Yeah?” Darcy said, frowning slightly. “I’m friends with him and Gabe on Facebook and asked both of them if their birthdays were anytime during their leave in case we had to throw an infamous Stark birthday bash for one of the newbies.”

     Bucky stared at her for a moment before he said, “And Clint just...agreed when you suggested a joint birthday party?”

     Darcy nodded and, raising an eyebrow, asked, “Why? Is that weird for him?”

     Bucky shifted in his seat and said, “Let me put it this way, the last time someone tried to throw him a surprise party, he reamed the person out at said surprise party in front of half of the base because he had told them repeatedly that he didn’t want a party and had, just the week before, actually ordered them to not throw him one.”

     Darcy’s eyes widened and Jane asked, “Why would he do that?”

     “He absolutely hates his birthday for some reason. He never told me why and I didn’t push it.” Bucky admitted, shrugging.

     “Well, he seemed really excited about the possibility of a paintball war so maybe he’s changed his mind?” Darcy mused, frowning.

     “Anything is possible.” Bucky said, smiling slightly.

     Steve raised an eyebrow and asked, “Is it really a good idea for a paintball war with anywhere between three and nine snipers, depending on which ones of the Commandos show up?”

     “Why is the lowest number three?” Jane asked, frowning.

     “Gabe and I are going to show up no matter how little notice we get.” Bucky said, shrugging, and Steve nodded.

     Darcy chuckled and said, “From what Clint told me, the only one who is able to show up from your squad, outside of you and Gabe, is Kate.”

     “What time would it be on Monday?” Jane asked curiously.

     “We haven’t figured that out. Clint’s still trying to convince Phil to take the day off from the gym so we can have it at one of the outdoor places.” Darcy said, smiling wryly. “If he’s unable to wear Phil down, we’ll do either laser tag or indoor paintball in the evening before we head out for dinner.”

     Jane nodded and said, “Thor’s off that day and my schedule is flexible so just text me and let me know when it is.”

     “You know I’ll be free.” Steve said with a small smile before he looked up at his boyfriend and raised an eyebrow.

     Smiling, Bucky looked over at Darcy and said, “And we all already know that I don’t have anything pressing to do so I’m okay with whenever.”

     Darcy nodded and said, “I’ll text him later and see what the plan is.”

     Thor smiled and, turning to Bucky, asked, “Are you enjoying your leave?”

     Bucky nodded and said, “Very much.”

     “What did you do for your last one?” Jane asked, tilting her head to the side.

     Sipping his coffee, Bucky frowned and seemed to think about it for a moment. Setting his mug back down, he swallowed and said, “I stayed on base. Clint offered to take me to his brother’s place but...well, Barney and I don’t really get along. And I didn’t want to impose on anyone else’s family so...” Trailing off, Bucky shrugged and took another sip of his coffee.

     “That’s…” Jane trailed off, frowning slightly.

     Bucky snorted and said, “It’s really sad and kinda pathetic, I know.” He smiled kindly and added, “I’m just glad that this leave has been much different.”

     Steve looked down when he felt Bucky’s hand on his thigh and smiled to himself. He pressed his leg against Bucky’s before turning his attention back to his food. He continued to eat while Bucky and Jane fell into a conversation about Bucky’s plans for leave and Darcy and Thor picked their conversation about Thor’s potential photoshoot. It wasn’t until Darcy had led the others into the living room and he was helping Loki clear away the plates that the other man spoke to him again.

     “You know, your boyfriend is odd.” Loki murmured, rinsing the plates off before setting them in the dish washer.

     Raising an eyebrow, Steve shot Loki a curious look and asked, “What do you mean?”

     “You and Darcy have been telling me for months that he’s a fan and yet...he doesn’t act like one. At least, not one that I’ve met.” Loki admitted, shrugging.

     Steve snorted and fixed himself another mug of coffee, hoping the extra caffeine would help with his headache. “That’s because Bucky sees you as my friend first and foremost, not a rock star. Is he interested in getting to know the real you and not just the public persona? Of course. That said, he’s not going to push you or badger you into being friends with him if you don’t want to.”

     “I...didn’t really expect that.” Loki murmured as he set the dishwasher to run.

     Smirking into his cup, Steve said, “Trust me, I will likely hear a lot about you later today but, for now, he’s trying to play it cool. And, from what I can tell, mostly succeeding.”

     Loki chuckled and said, “Have fun with that one.”

     “I’ll try.” Steve said, smiling slightly. He followed Loki back out into the living room and settled on to the couch beside Bucky, tucking himself close to his boyfriend’s side. Bucky wrapped an arm around him and pressed a quick kiss to his temple before he returned to his conversation with Jane. Before long, Loki, Thor, and Bucky were in a heated debate about bands that Steve had never even heard of. He contended himself with sipping his coffee while watching his friends and his boyfriend interact. He could feel his headache slowly getting worse but he didn’t really want to leave.

     An hour passed and Jane reminded Thor that they still had chores to do back at their apartment. As they were saying their goodbyes, Thor pulled Bucky into another bear hug. Steve glanced at Jane and they shared a small, private smile as Bucky squeaked. Once Thor had relinquished his hold on Bucky, Loki and Darcy walked Jane and Thor to the door. Steve flopped back down on the couch and, sighing softly, rubbed his temples. His headache hadn’t abated one bit and he wondered if it was going to morph into a migraine. He felt Bucky settle into the seat next to him and his boyfriend asked in a soft tone, “You alright, Stevie?”

     Looking up at his boyfriend, Steve smiled sheepishly and said, “I’ve just got a pretty bad headache, that’s all. I’ll be fine.”

     Bucky shot him a skeptical look but nodded. He ran his fingers through Steve’s hair and asked, “You want to head home?”

     Steve leaned into the touch and said, “Yeah, that would probably be best. We need to make sure Monty and Ny haven’t destroyed the apartment.”

     Bucky pressed a kiss to Steve’s temple before he stood up and walked over to the elevator door where Darcy and Loki were standing. Steve couldn’t hear his boyfriend but he knew the other man was telling them that they had to take off. Part of him wished they could stay a little longer, if only so Bucky could get to talk to Loki a bit more, but his head was killing him and, if he didn’t get home now, he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to drive later. He set his mug down on the coffee table and headed to the couch where his riding gear was laying.

     Steve was just pulling on his overpants when Bucky walked up behind him and touched him on the shoulder. He looked up at his soldier and Bucky asked, “You sure you’re okay to drive?”

     Nodding, Steve replied, “Right now, yeah. In another hour? Probably not.”

     “Alright.” Bucky said, studying Steve intently. He turned away and pulled on his gear as well.

     They grabbed their helmets and headed for the door, stopping only to say goodbye to Darcy and Loki. It didn’t take them long to get street side and make it back to where they’d parked. They uncovered their bikes and packed away the covers and the locks in their saddlebags before heading home. The drive back wasn’t as bad as Steve had expected it to be so they made it home in almost no time at all. Bucky made sure to double check their locks and he herded Steve up the stairs to the apartment.

     “Buck, I’m okay. Really. This is not the first time I’ve had a bad headache.” Steve muttered as Bucky opened the door to the apartment.

     “Not the point.” Bucky said, shutting the door behind them. “What do you usually do to stop your headaches?”

     Steve shrugged and said, “Take my glasses off and my hearing aids out and lay in a cool dark room until my head stops feeling like it’s going to split open. I can’t really take painkillers for it because of how they interact with my meds.”

     “I may know a few things that might help but I need you to trust me.” Bucky said, raising an eyebrow.

     Frowning, Steve said, “If you think it’ll help, I’ll do whatever. Bruce tried some all-natural stuff but...eh…” Steve shrugged and pulled off his jacket. “Peppermint just makes it worse and, if I have too much ginger, it fucks with my heart meds for some reason.”

     Bucky leaned in and pressed a kiss to Steve’s forehead. “Just go get changed into a pair of shorts and lay on the bed. You can take your glasses off and your hearing aids out if you want.”

     “I think I’ll just take my glasses off. I’d rather not have you almost shouting so I can hear you.” Steve said, swaying towards his boyfriend.

     “I do know a fair bit of ASL but it’d be difficult to use for what I have in mind. And, come to think of it, I don’t actually know if you know ASL or not.” Bucky said, steadying Steve.

     Steve looked up at him, mildly surprised, and said, “I learned ASL when I was little. I still use it, mostly for my deaf clients, but sometimes for myself when I don’t feel like wearing my hearing aids.” He paused for a beat then, raising an eyebrow at his boyfriend, asked, “What do you have in mind?”

     “Just a back massage, get your mind out of the gutter.” Bucky said with a grin as he nudged Steve towards the bedroom. “Go, I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

     “Fine. Meanie.” Steve muttered, smiling to himself as he headed to the bedroom. He quickly stripped down to his underwear, trying desperately to ignore the pounding in his head, and set his glasses on his nightstand. With a sigh, he flopped gracelessly on his bed and smushed his face into Bucky’s pillow, which had grown rather cool thanks to the AC unit. Fuck putting on shorts. It wasn’t like Bucky hadn’t seen this much of him already. Besides, his head hurt too much to do much of anything besides lay here.

     The door opened and he heard Bucky walk into the room. There were a few thunks, like something heavy being set down on the nightstand, but Steve didn’t lift his head from the pillow. He liked being surrounded by his boyfriend’s scent. Bucky ran a hand through Steve’s hair and said, “I’m going to get changed into something comfortable. Alright?”

     Steve hummed in response and lifted his head a little to press into his boyfriend’s hand. Bucky chuckled softly and leaned over to press a kiss to Steve’s shoulder before he moved away. Steve listened intently as Bucky moved around the room. It didn’t take long for him to return and Steve tilted his head to the side to look at him. He eyed his boyfriend and smiled when he noticed that Bucky had just changed into a pair of loose cotton pants and nothing else. He lifted his head slightly and said, “You sure you just want to give me a massage? Because your choice of pants say otherwise.”

     Bucky looked over at Steve and, raising an eyebrow, asked, “Your head is pounding and you’re flirting?”

     Steve shot him an unimpressed look and said, “Buck, I am in a state of constant low-grade pain. It never really goes away so I kind of tend to ignore pain unless it’s something I know I have to deal with.”

     “Be that as it may, I’m not planning on starting something with you while you’re in more pain than usual.” Bucky said, turning his attention back to the small warmer on the nightstand.

     “What’s that?”

     “Oil warmer. Natasha already gave me a list of all the shit you’re allergic to. Which explains why you buy organic food and that one special brand of laundry detergent because most of what was on that list was chemicals that I’ve never even heard of.”

     “Yeah. Food’s not my problem, it’s the chemicals they use on the food or to process the food.” Steve said, shrugging.

     “Kind of like allergens and pollen doesn’t trigger your asthma but exercise does.”

     “Something like that.” Steve said, closing his eyes and inhaling deeply. He opened one eye and, looking at his boyfriend, asked, “Lavender oil?”

     “Yeah…” Bucky said, crawling on to the bed beside Steve. “Not going to use a lot, but I’ve noticed it can help.”

     “Along with massages?” Steve asked, tilting his head to the side to watch his boyfriend.

     “Kind of why I bought lavender scented massage oil.” Bucky said, smiling.

     Steve hummed and asked, “Where you gonna start?”

     “Your legs. Gonna work my way up instead of down.” Bucky said, taking the oil off the warmer.

     “Makes sense.” Steve mumbled, shifting to get a bit more comfortable. He closed his eyes and let Bucky gently massage his calves and the backs of his thighs. He hummed softly and let his mind wander a bit. After a few minutes of silence, he asked, “When’d you learn ASL?”

     “About a year after the Commandos were formed. Gabe’s father and a few of his cousins on his dad’s side are deaf. I spent a lot of time with his family when we were on leave so I learned it to make communication easier.” Bucky said, working out a particularly stubborn knot from Steve’s calf.

     Steve hummed and said, “That makes sense.”

     “Did Nat and Sam learn?”

     “I may have twisted their arms on that one.” Steve admitted, smiling slightly as Bucky moved on to his other leg.

     Bucky snorted softly and asked, “What do you mean?”

     Steve groaned softly when Bucky hit a particularly sore spot. Shifting, he answered, “Well, I went through this phase in middle school where I refused to wear my hearing aids and I refused to respond to anyone who didn’t use ASL. Mom already knew it so it wasn’t that difficult at home but Nat and Sam had to take a crash course at the library.”

     Bucky finished Steve’s other leg and asked, “Mind if I straddle you? It’s easier that way.”

     “You know I have no problem with that.” Steve said, glancing back at Bucky. He grinned and added, “My legs are like fucking Jell-O right now so I can’t wait to see what you can do with my back.”

     Bucky snorted and carefully straddled Steve’s hips before he poured a little more of the warm oil on his boyfriend’s back. Gently but firmly working the knots out of Steve’s back, he asked, “What about your other friends? Did they learn too?”

     “Bruce dragged everyone to classes after he got tired of them yelling whenever I didn’t feel like wearing my hearing aids.” Steve admitted. He bit his lip and tried not to groan as Bucky worked the knots out of his back. The pain in his head was slowly diminishing and the tension that he’d been feeling in his back for ages was dissipating by the second. “Jesus H. Christ, you are good at this.” Steve murmured, arching into his boyfriend’s touch.

     Bucky chuckled and said, “I know.”

     “No Han Solo-ing me.” Steve murmured, sinking back into the bed.

     Leaning over, Bucky swept his hands up and pressed a kiss to the back of Steve’s neck. He trailed a few kisses down Steve’s back and murmured, “Sorry.” A few more kisses. “It is true though, I do know I’m good at this.”

     Steve opened his mouth to shoot back a witty remark but ended up cutting himself off with a groan as Bucky hit a particularly tight knot between his shoulders. He mumbled a few curses in Irish before he melted back into the bed. He laid there, letting Bucky continue to work the kinks and knots out of his back. He felt nearly boneless by the time Bucky was done with his back. His boyfriend murmured something about not moving but Steve didn’t think he could even if he wanted to. He felt Bucky shift and sit down beside him. Steve peeked at him from under his lashes and watched him wiping his hands off on a hand towel. Steve smiled slightly, his headache now gone, and mumbled, “Remind me to thank Clint, yeah?”

     “For what?” Bucky asked, shooting Steve a confused look before he laid down beside his boyfriend.

     “For teaching you that.” Steve said, rolling onto his back. He stretched and wiggled around a little before he looked over at Bucky and said, “I don’t think I’ve ever had a massage that good.”

     Bucky laughed, his eyes crinkling at the corners and his baby blues dancing in the dim light. Looking back over at Steve, he ran his fingers through his boyfriend’s hair and said, “I’ll make sure to let him know.” He paused then asked, “How’s your head?”

     “Much better. Headache’s gone.” Steve said, grinning. He leaned over and gently kissed Bucky. “Thank you; that really helped.”

     “Anything for you.” Bucky said, pulling Steve closer to him. He chuckled as Steve just flopped on him and said, “Damn, you really are practically boneless now.”

     “Damn skippy.” Steve murmured, shifting to get more comfortable.

     Bucky ran his fingers through Steve’s hair. “We still have the rest of the day, do you need to do anything?”

     “Nothing that can’t be put off until tomorrow.” Steve shrugged. “We could watch movies if you wanted.”

     Smiling softly, Bucky admitted, “I’m content just to lay here with you, to be totally honest.”

     “Sounds like a good plan.” Steve said, tilting his head to lay over Bucky’s heart.

     Bucky played with Steve’s hair for a little while, content to just lay there with his boyfriend. He traced patterns on Steve’s back and murmured, “I was thinking of going to the cemetery again sometime this month…”

     “Again?” Steve asked, looking up at Bucky curiously.

     Nodding, Bucky said, “I stopped by my first day back while you were at work.”

     Steve frowned minutely. “I don’t remember you mentioning that…”

     Bucky sighed and said, “That would be because I didn’t mention it. Visiting my parent’s graves wasn’t exactly something I wanted to talk about that day.” He looked down at Steve and said, “But I was wondering if you’d like to go with me next time.”

     Smiling softly, Steve nodded and said, “Of course I’ll go with you.” He leaned up and pecked his boyfriend on the mouth before settling back against his chest. After a moment, he asked, “Which cemetery are they buried in?”

     “Evergreens.” Bucky ran his fingers through Steve’s hair and asked, “What about yours?”

     “Holy Cross.” Steve paused then added, “I should probably visit them again before my birthday. I haven’t been by since mid-March.”

     Bucky pressed a kiss to the crown of Steve’s head and murmured, “I can go with you, if you want.”

     “I’d like that.” Steve muttered, toying with Bucky’s fingers. After a few beats of silence, he asked, “When were you thinking of going?”

     “Probably on the 23rd. It’s a Monday so we can stop by Holy Cross too if you’d like.”

     Steve smiled to himself and said, only half-jokingly, “We can make a day of meeting the parents.”

     Bucky snorted and said, “Yeah. It seems silly but...I don’t know. I want you to meet them even though...well...it’s just gravestones.”

     “It’s okay, Buck. I get you.” Steve said, looking up at his boyfriend. “They may not be around anymore but our parents are huge parts of our lives and we want to share what we have now with them.” He smiled shyly and admitted, “I still get some comfort from talking to my mom’s gravestone even though I know she can’t answer.”

     Smiling, Bucky cupped the back of Steve’s head and said, “That is true.” After a few beats of silence, he chuckled and added, “You know, I never thought we’d have this conversation while both of us are mostly naked.”

     Steve blushed and said, “I honestly forgot that I’m not wearing anything but my underwear.”

     Bucky chuckled and pulled Steve in for a kiss. Pulling away, he said, “It’s alright, punk. I’m just glad you’re feeling better.”

     “You have the magic touch, apparently.” Steve said. He traced a pattern on Bucky’s hip and asked, “Did you put anything on your tattoo this morning?”

     “Yes. I cleaned it and put some Aquaphor on this morning while you were getting your toast. I did the same thing right before I gave you a massage.” Bucky lifted his arm and let Steve look at it.

     Steve gently grasped Bucky’s wrist and studied his handiwork. “A little bit of light scabbing on the radio and the beginnings of a light peel. Not too bad. It’s healing better than most of mine ever did, actually. Which isn’t that much of a surprise.” He let Bucky’s wrist go and curled his hand around his boyfriend’s hip.

     “I figure the peeling will get worse for a couple days like it did last time then pretty much heal up nicely by Clint’s birthday.” Bucky said, smiling slightly.

     “Speaking of…” Steve looked up at his boyfriend and, with a small smile, asked, “Looking forward to the paintball war?”

      “Sorta. Not looking forward to the bruises though.” Bucky said, chuckling. He traced Steve’s collarbone with his free hand and, letting his face fall back into its neutral expression, murmured, “To be honest, I kind of hope we have to go with laser tag.”

     “Because I bruise like an overripe peach?” Steve asked, raising an eyebrow.

     Smiling ruefully, Bucky let his hand fall to Steve’s thigh and asked, “Am I that transparent?”

     “Just a bit.” Steve murmured as he leaned over to kiss his soldier. Bucky gently returned the kiss and, when Steve started to pull away, followed him until he was sitting up.

     Trailing kisses along Steve’s jaw, Bucky muttered, “I don’t like seeing bruises on you.”

     “Hickies are technically bruises.” Steve quipped, closing his eyes and tangling his hand in Bucky’s hair.

     Bucky nipped at Steve’s shoulder and said, “Hickies are the fun kind of bruises. Paintball bruises just fucking suck.”

     “No argument there.” Steve said, smiling. Bucky hummed softly and rested his head on Steve’s shoulder while Steve ran his fingers through Bucky’s hair. They stayed like that, curled around each other, and talked in hushed tones until the sun had sunk low in the sky. Steve would’ve been content to stay like that longer but his stomach was having none of it. As he opened his mouth to answer the question Bucky had just asked him, his stomach growled so loud that he and Bucky both looked down to see if Monty or Nyota had joined them.

     Bucky chuckled and said, “I think we should get you something to eat.”

     “Yeah, probably.” Steve murmured, rolling over and getting out of bed. He put his glasses back on then headed over to the dresser and pulled out a pair of shorts. Once he’d pulled them on, he turned to Bucky and asked, “Take out or do you want to cook?”

     “Let’s cook something together.” Bucky said, rolling out of bed. He followed Steve out to the kitchen and asked, “What are you in the mood for?”

     “Something fairly easy. And light.” Steve said, opening the refrigerator and staring blankly inside of it.

     Bucky opened the freezer and said, “Well, there’s some pizza dough in here that looks like it’s been portioned into single-serves. Got a pizza pan?”

     “Two, actually. We can make our own pizzas in case neither of us want to eat the same thing as the other.” Steve said, crouching down to open the vegetable drawer.

     “What were you thinking of?” Bucky asked, pulling the pizza dough out and setting it on the counter.

     “Spinach, garlic, and chicken with a Chardonnay white sauce.” Steve murmured, pulling out the things he needed. He glanced up at Bucky and asked, “You?”

     Bucky hummed softly and said, “I’m feeling more like chicken, bacon, and avocado. No sauce.”

     “Aren’t we fancy.” Steve joked, setting up the things that he’d need. “I pulled out enough chicken for both of us. Bacon’s in there somewhere.” He motioned to the fridge before he washed his hands.

     “Found it. You need anything else out of here?” Bucky asked, looking up at Steve from his position crouched down in front of the refrigerator.

     “Nah. I think I pulled everything I need out.” Steve said, adjusting his ingredients so that Bucky had room on the counter for his own.  
Nodding to himself, Bucky pulled out what he needed and set it on the counter beside Steve’s. He washed his hands then set the zip locked dough into a bowl and let the lukewarm water run over it to help it thaw faster. Once that was done, he moved aside and they both set to work prepping their toppings. They moved around each other with a practiced ease that Steve had never experienced with anyone but Natasha. It threw him a little and, glancing over at his boyfriend, Steve said, “I’m not used to this.”

     Bucky raised an eyebrow at him and said, “Cooking?”

     “Close, but no.” Steve smiled slightly and added, “I’m not used to basically dancing in the kitchen with anyone but Natasha.”

     “I understand.” Bucky said, setting aside the chicken to rest and cool a little. “I’ve gotten used to cooking with a lot of different people, sometimes in very crowded kitchens, so it’s not weird for me.”

     “Oh yeah?” Steve asked, glancing over at his boyfriend while he wilted down his spinach.

     Bucky nodded and said, “I helped Gabe’s mom cook a lot when I was staying with them. Just to, ya know, show them that I wasn’t a freeloader.”

     “You stayed with them a lot, yeah?”

     “Yeah. They...kind of unofficially adopted me?” Bucky glanced over at Steve and shrugged. “It was nice but...it never really felt right. Not back then.”

     “And now?” Steve asked, checking the dough.

     “It feels a bit more right.” Bucky grabbed the pizza pans out of the cabinet and started to preheat the oven. As he prepped the pans, he said, “Gabe said that his mother invited both of us down for a visit after I’m out for good. If you want to go.”

     “I’d like that.” Steve said, smiling slightly. “By then, the shop should be stable and I can take an extended vacation.”

     “Peggy’s going down in July with Gabe to meet the family.” Bucky said, glancing over at Steve.

     Steve nodded and stretched out the dough onto the pan. As they built their pizzas, he said, “She told me. I had to approve her vacation time and she wanted my opinion on if it was too soon or not.”

     “What did you tell her?” Bucky asked, putting their finished pizzas in the oven.

     Steve started cleaning up their mess and said, “That she should do it if it felt right.”

     Bucky hummed softly and straightened up. He helped Steve clean up the kitchen and hopped up on the counter to wait for their pizzas. “What’s your plan for tomorrow?”

     “I’ve got to go over the books for the shop and look over some things for Bruce.” Steve said, smiling slightly.

     “Oh? What kind of things?”

     “He wants me to help out one of his friends with an outreach program for the more artsy kids. All I’ll be doing is helping design a mural with a group of teenagers.” Steve shrugged and hopped up on the counter. “Most of them are into the street art scene but, as you know, most shop owners don’t particularly like their buildings being tagged; even if the art is amazing.”

     Bucky nodded and said, “Makes sense. Where’s the mural going?”

     “On one of the outside walls of the community center.” Steve replied, swinging his legs slightly.

     Bucky walked over and stood in between Steve’s legs. He rested his hands on Steve’s thighs and said, “It sounds like it’ll be fun. And a good way to get you out of the shop for a while.”

     Steve rolled his eyes with a smile and said, “Yes, yes it is.” He wrapped his arms around Bucky’s neck and said, “This is going to be an ongoing thing with us, isn’t it?”

     Bucky smiled sheepishly and said, “Probably. But it’s only because I love you.”

     “I know.” Steve gave him a quick kiss and asked, “Have you thought anymore about going to college after you get out?”

     Groaning, Bucky looked down and shrugged half-heartedly. Steve just watched him and, after a few moments of silence, Bucky muttered, “I haven’t made any concrete decisions….but I have been looking into schools.”

     “Well, that’s a start.” Steve said, smiling kindly. He threaded his fingers through Bucky’s hair and, ducking his head a little, murmured, “You know that I only push because I know you can do anything you set your mind to, yeah?”

     “Yeah, I know.” Bucky said, looking up at Steve. He shot Steve a crooked smile and asked, “Looking forward to the Mets game on Tuesday?”

     “Who’s it against? I didn’t get a chance to check.”

     “Brewers.” Bucky said, rubbing his thumb along Steve’s hipbone.

     Steve nodded and said, “It’ll be interesting. Tony’ll likely be rooting for the Brewers and we’re Mets fans. Bruce doesn’t actually care, he just likes people watching.”

     “True.” Bucky chewed on his lower lip for a second then asked, “Who is Obadiah?”

     Steve sighed and said, “That would be Obadiah Stane.”

     Bucky frowned and asked, “The asshole who tried to kill Tony a while back? After getting Stark Industries into the black market in arms?”

     “One and the same.” Steve sighed.

     “And when Stane had Tony kidnapped, that’s when Tony’s heart did that thing.”

     “Which, coincidentally, was a few days after I introduced him to Bruce.” Steve smiled. “Thing is, Tony was really close with Obadiah so that betrayal was...well...it was hard.”

     “I didn’t think Stane was going to be released for another decade?”

     “If they went by his original sentence, he never would be released. However, he won an appeal, got his charge dropped down a peg, and got his sentence reduced. So he’s now a free man.” Steve sighed and said, “We’re all fairly certain he either paid off the judge or blackmailed him, but no one can prove it. And believe me, we tried.”

     “That...really sucks.” Bucky said, frowning.

     “For almost a decade, Tony’s been getting, and keeping, his shit together.” Steve sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “None of us wants all that hard work to be undone just because of some asshole.”

     “How did you meet Tony anyway?”

     Steve smiled and said, “When I was a senior in high school, I worked as a dishwasher at a couple high end restaurants. I didn’t have any tattoos and my ears weren’t stretched as much back then so it was easier to pass myself off as normal. I was informed that I would be a waiter the night that Tony had taken the place over for…” Steve frowned. “I was 17 so it had to have been his 28th birthday party.”

     “Don’t tell me you spilled something on him.” Bucky asked, grinning.

     Rolling his eyes, Steve snorted and said, “If only. No, I punched the guy sitting next to him because he wouldn’t quit grabbing my ass every time I walked past the table.” Bucky let out a low whistle and Steve added, “I didn’t find out until afterwards that Tony had told the guy to knock it off after I’d politely asked him to stop and walked away from the table.”

     “So you punched his friend and...He befriends you?” Bucky asked, raising an eyebrow.

     “Sort of. I punched his friend, his friend threatened to press charges, and Tony straight up told him that he’d fire him and call the cops himself to report a sexual assault if he tried to press charges against me.”

     Bucky grinned and said, “I never would have guessed that Tony would’ve stuck up for you back then.”

     Smiling slightly, Steve said, “Tony may have been a playboy who drank like a fish back then but he wasn’t a bad guy.”

     Nodding, Bucky asked, “How’d you two end up as friends though?”

     Steve shrugged and said, “We just kept in touch after that and, a year later, the whole thing with Obadiah happened. I was one of the first ones to visit him in the hospital after he got back from that ordeal. He was pissed that I skipped class to come see him but...eh…it was worth it to know that he was okay.”

     “And then he got his shit together?”

     “Took him a year and a half, but yeah. He got his shit together. And has been going strong ever since.” Steve said, grinning.

     Bucky moved away to check on the pizzas. After pulling them out, he set them on the stove to cool and turned the oven off. Turning his attention back to Steve, he asked, “But, you’re all worried that, with Stane getting out, that he could...what? Relapse?”

     Steve shook his head. “None of us are afraid that he’s going to go back to drinking as much as he did. He’s found different coping mechanisms for the shit that he was dealing with and none of them involve self-destructive behaviors. But we’re all worried about what his heart might do.” Steve looked down and picked at the lint on his pants. “It’s rare that transplants last as long as his has without issue. If his heart gives out again, then he may have to get an artificial one until he can get another transplant.”

     “I read that a doctor out of South Korea’s created a device to rebuild damaged skin that has no chance of rejection because she uses the person’s DNA to make it. The article was about all the work for burn victims and vets.” Bucky glanced over at Steve and suggested, “Maybe her device could be modified to create a heart?”

     “Like...A 3D printer for organs?” Steve asked, raising an eyebrow.

     Bucky shrugged. “Anything’s possible. Stark discovered a new element for Christ’s sake. And made a sustainable energy source out of it.”

     “Who knows, I’ll talk to him about it on Tuesday.” Steve said, hopping off the counter. He grabbed a couple plates for them as Bucky cut their pizzas up. Bucky plated a few slices of pizza for them and they headed out to the living room to watch the news while they ate. Monty and Nyota begged for some of the chicken from their pizzas and Steve pretended not to notice Bucky sneaking them a few small bites. They talked a bit as they ate and argued, good naturedly, about what to watch after the news was over. Bucky was fine with watching something on Netflix, preferably the new season of Orange is the New Black, but he wasn’t all that picky. He knew that he could always watch it while Steve was at work if his boyfriend didn’t like the show. Steve, on the other hand, wanted to watch the premiere of a new show that he missed the week before because the new episode was airing in a about an hour and a half.

     Bucky eyed the TV cautiously as Steve plugged the HDMI cable into his laptop. “I really don’t know about this show, Stevie. What’s this show even about?”

     “Fuck if I know. Natasha said that I would like it and Pepper demanded that we watch it, if only so that she and Natasha have someone to talk about it with.” Steve said, pulling up AMC’s website.

     Standing, Bucky grabbed their empty plates and asked, “You want any more pizza?”

     “Nah, I’m saving room for dessert. Just box mine up and stick it in the fridge please.” Steve said, searching for the first episode of Halt and Catch Fire.

     Bucky dropped a kiss on Steve’s crown and headed out to the kitchen. He put the plates in the dishwasher and boxed up their leftovers. Cold pizza would always, in his opinion, be the best breakfast. He glanced over at Steve and said, “Hey, what do you want for dessert?”

     “What do we have?” Steve asked, glancing over at Bucky.

     “Eh…” Bucky opened the freezer. “That Lemon-Cherry Italian ice thing from that organic place Pepper recommended. Which I am laying claim to. And a bunch of Talenti pints. I’m seeing mint, sea salt caramel, and fudge brownie right up front.”

     “Grab the sea salt caramel for me. Please.” Steve said.

     Bucky grabbed their desserts and a couple of spoons before heading back out to the living room. He dropped down on the couch beside his boyfriend and handed over Steve’s pint. “Here ya go, scumpule.”

     Shooting Bucky a grateful smile, Steve hit the play button then settled back into the couch. Bucky smiled slightly and kicked his feet up on the coffee table, shifting slightly to get comfortable. They had timed it just right so that once the first episode ended, they could switch over to cable and catch the second episode. Steve wouldn’t admit it to anyone but himself but he was actually glad for the commercial breaks this time. Normally he hated them but he got to watch Bucky geek out over the older tech in the show during the commercial breaks so he counted that as a plus.

     Steve tossed their empty containers in the recycle bin and put their silverware in the dishwasher. He yawned and said, “As much as I love hearing you geek out, it is like eleven and I am, for once, actually tired.”

     Bucky smiled and said, “Alright. Go get in bed and I’ll clean up in here.”

     “You sure?” Steve asked, cocking his head to the side.

     “Of course. Go on. I’ll be in in a moment.”

     “Alright.” Steve headed to the bathroom and went through his nightly routine before he made his way back to his bedroom. He took his hearing aids out and set them on the nightstand along with his glasses. He crawled into bed, burrowing into the blankets as best he could. Steve sighed contentedly and closed his eyes, allowing himself to drift into a light doze. He was half-asleep when Bucky finally crawled in beside him but that didn’t stop him from curling close to his boyfriend’s warmth. His soldier was like a furnace compared to his perpetually cool body.

     Bucky chuckled softly and pulled Steve close, absentmindedly tracing ‘I love you’ over and over again on Steve’s bare back. He hadn’t expected Steve to be awake enough to realize what he was writing so he was surprised when Steve mumbled, “I love you too, a stór.”

     Blushing, Bucky buried his head into Steve’s hair and, letting his hand drift down to rest on Steve’s hip, said, “Sorry, scumpule, I didn’t think you were awake.”

     “Only half.” Steve replied, shifting so that his back was against Bucky’s chest. Once he was comfortable, he said, “Good night, mo ghrá geal.”

     “Good night, pisoiul meu.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eternal thanks to my beta and my roommate. Without them, this fic wouldn't be possible.


	21. Take Me Out To The Ball Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was different, sitting this close to home plate. The players weren’t just dots on the field but actual humans that Steve could see. He was used to sitting up in the nosebleeds, Sam and Natasha on either side, and splitting his attention between the big screen and the diamond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's baseball terminology in the end notes for those who aren't used to that. I also explained what keel-hauling is for anyone who doesn't know.
> 
> Anyway, sorry for the mini hiatus that wasn't really planned. School just got really crazy and I'm graduating in less than a month so I'm dealing with that stress/terror.
> 
> Happy Thanksgiving, y'all.

     Steve slipped his faded blue converse on and laced them up before he headed out to the foyer where Bucky, Tony, and Bruce were waiting. He was shoving his phone and inhaler into his front pocket when Tony cleared his throat. Looking over at his friend, Steve shot him a questioning look and said, “What? Something on my face?”

     Tony frowned slightly and said, “No, it’s just….That’s not the shirt you usually wear to games.”

     “Nope.” Steve said, popping the “p” at the end. He shoved his wallet in his back pocket and added, “That one has officially been retired because I’m tired of trying to get ketchup stains out of it.” He shrugged and added, “Pepper confiscated it anyway, along with a few of my older t-shirts.”

     Bruce raised an eyebrow at Steve and asked, “Do I even want to know why she did that?”

     “She’s framing them before I wear them into oblivion. The Mets shirt is already nearly two decades old.” Steve replied, smiling slightly.

     Bucky smiled and, wrapping an arm around Steve’s shoulders, said, “Alright, everyone’s ready, we should probably head out.”

     Steve nodded and followed Tony and Bruce out of his apartment, pausing only to lock the door. When they were street side, Steve nearly ran into the back of his boyfriend because Bucky stopped short. Looking up at his boyfriend, Steve frowned minutely and asked, “You okay?”

     “You...Do you know what kind of car that is?” Bucky asked, glancing at Steve.

     “An expensive one, knowing Tony.” Steve replied, shrugging. “I don’t really know cars.”

     Tony snorted and said, “That’s for sure. Come on, Barnes, get in the car.” He slid into the driver’s seat and called through the open window, “You can geek out about it later.”

     Bucky frowned but opened the door for Steve and slid in behind him. He shut the door and, buckling up, said, “I’m sorry, it’s not every day I get to see a damn ‘31 Phantom let alone sit in it.”

     “You didn’t see the cars in the shop when you were working on the bike?” Tony asked, glancing back at Bucky before checking his mirrors. He pulled out onto the road and headed towards Court Street.

     “No. I was kind of sticking to my own little corner and trying not to break any of your stuff, Tony.” Bucky said, rolling his eyes. He looked around the interior of the car and asked, “Why exactly are we taking this to a baseball game?”

     “Because my boyfriend is a showoff most of the time.” Bruce replied, smirking playfully. “I told him we could just take the subway or have Happy drive us but...well…”

     “I don’t like other people driving me places.” Tony grumbled, turning onto Wyckoff from Court. As he turned on to Smith Street, he said, “Whoever thought one-way roads were a good idea should be keel-hauled.”

     “No arguments there.” Steve said, smiling. He let his hand rest on Bucky’s denim-clad thigh and looked out the window. Leaning into Bucky’s side, he added, “Tony, why didn’t you ever tell me that you actually like baseball?”

     “It was easier to let you think I hated baseball rather than explaining why I hate your favorite team.” Tony admitted, shrugging. He continued down Smith Street as it turned into Jay Street.

     Steve hummed softly and said, “I wouldn’t’ve cared, Tony. You’re entitled to your opinion about sports teams.”

     “Even if the team is the LA Dodgers?” Tony asked, raising an eyebrow at Steve in the rear view mirror.

     Nodding, Steve chuckled and said, “Yes, Tony, even if the team is the Defectors.”

     Tony snorted and turned on to Tillary Street. He signaled and merged into the left lane. Once he had gotten on to the interstate, he said, “There’s going to be a few more people joining us at the game.”

     “Not that I’m going to know them, but who?” Bucky asked, cocking his head to the side.

     “Matt Murdock, Claire Temple, Foggy Nelson, and Karen Page.” Tony replied.

     Steve blinked. “Wait. Murdock? This guy the son of Jack Murdock? Like, The Battlin’ Jack Murdock?”

     Tony glanced at Steve in surprise but nodded and said, “Yes.” After a beat he asked, “How do you even know that?”

     “Natasha was into MMA and boxing in high school, remember? And the whole...family thing. She knew who Battlin’ Jack Murdock was and what happened to him.” Steve frowned. “Wait, isn’t Matt Murdock blind?”

     “Well...yes.” Tony said, glancing at Steve and pulling off the interstate at their exit.

     Bucky stared at Tony for a minute before he said, “Tony...you invited a blind guy to a baseball game?”

     “Yeeeeeeeeah?”

     “Oh lord.” Steve said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

     “This is going to be interesting.” Bucky muttered, leaning back in his seat.

     Bruce chuckled and said, “We’ll be in one of the areas that we’ll actually be able to hear the announcer so there’s that.”

     “Well that’s good.” Steve said as he smiled slightly.

     “How do you even know this guy, Tony?” Bucky asked, frowning slightly.

     “I met them through Bruce.” Tony said, shrugging. He pulled into the entrance for the VIP parking lot.

     Bruce smiled and said, “And I met them when we got arrested at the Pride event. Tony had his lawyers cover you and Nick but the rest of us were kind of left on our own.” Bruce shrugged and added, “Not that it mattered at the time. Matt and Foggy had just opened a small law firm in Hell’s Kitchen and were looking for clients. Since they tend to take clients that were arrested at political protests or other things like that, they came to us about representation.”

     “Huh. I always figured Tony had you and Thor covered on that.” Steve said, raising an eyebrow at his friend.

     “By the time my lawyers tried to talk to Thor and Bruce, Murdock and Nelson were already their lawyers.” Tony said, pulling into a parking spot.

     “After my studio got off the ground and was pulling in a decent enough living, I convinced them to let me put them on retainer so they would, at the very least, have enough to keep the doors open.” Bruce said, smiling as he unbuckled himself. “Karen is actually their secretary-slash-paralegal and Claire is a nurse at Metro-General.”

     “Anything else we need to know about these people?” Steve asked, unbuckling his seatbelt.

     “They’re all in a poly relationship with each other. I’m not exactly sure of the details, because it’s really none of my business, but I do know that much.” Tony said bluntly as he slid out of the car.

     Steve opened the door, careful to avoid hitting the car next to them, and said, “Alright.”

     Bucky slid out of the car and carefully shut the door behind himself. “Why do you even know that?”

     “Foggy thought Tony was interested in Karen and it kind of snowballed.” Bruce said, chuckling softly.

     “Karen and Bruce both knew that I didn’t mean anything by the flirting but…” Tony shrugged. “Foggy had just met me and still thought I was the playboy I was before my heart thing.”

     Steve shot Tony a dubious look. “You sure about that?”

     “Yes. The first time I met her, she told me, quite adamantly, that she was taken when I flirted with her.” Tony locked the car and headed towards the entrance to the stadium. After making sure the others were following him, he added, “I apologized for making her uncomfortable, explained that I was also already taken, and that I had only meant to convey that I thought she was quite beautiful not that I wanted to have sex with her.”

     Bruce nodded and added, “She turned to me for confirmation of that and, after I did, she actually found it kind of sweet that Tony flirted with her.”

     “And when you met Foggy, he thought you were trying to...what? Whisk Karen away from them?” Steve asked, glancing between his friends.

     “Pretty much. Never let anyone tell you that Foggy Nelson is a coward, because he’s not.” Tony said, smiling slightly.

     “How did Matt and Claire react?” Bucky asked, raising an eyebrow.

     Bruce snorted and said, “Claire was trying very hard not to laugh as Foggy threatened to drop Tony and me from their roster of clients if he didn’t stop trying to bed Karen. Karen just face palmed and muttered about overprotective avocados. Matt kept saying-”

     “‘Foggy, no.’ And Foggy kept replying with ‘Foggy, yes’ until Bruce pointed out that Tony wasn’t trying to woo Karen.” Said a deep voice, laced with amusement, from their right. Steve turned towards the voice. Two women, one with light pinkish skin and strawberry blonde hair and one with warm tawny skin and dark brown hair, were covering their mouths and leaning on one another, obviously trying smother their giggles and failing miserably. A blonde man, his pale cheeks tinted a bright rosy red, stood staring at the sky as though it would somehow help him escape and a dark-haired man with sunglasses smiled brightly at them.

     Tony snorted and said, “I thought you four would already be inside.”

     “Karen and Claire thought it best to wait for you out here.” The blonde, Foggy by his reaction to the story, muttered. Shifting, he looked at Tony and asked, “Why were you retelling that story anyway?”

     “Staff Sergeant Cupcake,” Tony hooked his thumb at Bucky, “and Captain America,” He pointed at Steve, “wanted to know how we knew all of you.”

     Bucky shot Tony a confused look and asked, “Staff Sergeant Cupcake? Captain America?”

     “Don’t question it, just be thankful that he’s not as creative as Darcy is.” Steve said, shaking his head. He ignored Tony’s indignant squawk and Bruce’s chuckle in favor of turning his attention to the four strangers in front of him. With a small smile, he said, “My name’s actually Steve Rogers.” He hooked a thumb at Bucky and added, “And this is my boyfriend, Bucky Barnes.”

     “Karen Page.” The strawberry blonde said, smiling.

     “Claire Temple.” The brunette said, shaking her head fondly.

     Foggy sighed and said, “Foggy Nelson.”

     Matt smiled and said, “Matt Murdock.”

     “Now that that’s done, let’s get inside.” Tony said, clapping his hands together. The group followed after him. Once inside the stadium, they made their way to their seats. Steve was surprised when Tony led them back to the seats behind home plate. Well, behind and a little to the left so they’d see more than the umpire’s butt.

     When they finally took their seats, Matt turned to Steve and asked, “This may sound odd, but...have we met before? Your voice sounds very familiar.”

     Steve frowned and said, “I don’t think we’ve ever met in person. Though, I do know who you are.”

     Matt cocked his head to the side and asked, “How?”

     “My best friend was into boxing when we were growing up.”

     “Then they must have known who my father was.” Matt said, fiddling with his cane.

     Steve nodded to himself and, looking down, said, “Yeah. She was a fan of your father’s.”

     “Even though he lost more than he won?” Matt asked, smiling a little sadly.

     “You know as well as I do that the only fights your father lost were the ones he threw.” Steve murmured quietly. “I may not have grown up in the gyms like Natasha did but even I knew your dad was a good boxer.”

     “Natasha? Romanoff?” Matt asked, tilting his head up to face Steve.

     “The one and only.”

     Matt smiled a little and said, “That’s how I know your voice. You came to watch my dad practice with her a couple times.”

     “I remember going to watch your father train but I don’t remember seeing you.” Steve offered, shrugging.

     Chuckling, Matt leaned back in his seat and turned to face the front. “I was off to the side. No one really noticed me unless they were looking for me.”

     Steve huffed out a small laugh and glanced up when Bucky stood up. Bucky raised an eyebrow and asked, “Do you want anything to eat or drink? Bruce and I are going with Karen and Claire to get stuff before the game starts.”

     “Bottle of water is fine.” Steve said, smiling gently.

     Bucky nodded and made his way out of their section with Bruce, Claire, and Karen. Tony leaned over and asked, “Are you sure you’re not hungry?”

     “I had a huge late lunch, Tony. I’m really not hungry.” Steve assured, shifting in his seat to get comfortable.

     “Alright.” Tony said, shooting him a skeptical look.

     “Hey, Steve.” Foggy said, causing Steve to look at him. “How did you and Bucky meet?”

     Steve blushed and said, “Well, funnily enough, through a military pen pal program. I really hadn’t intended to date whomever I was assigned but...well…”

     “Shit happens.” Foggy said, smiling slightly.

     Chuckling, Steve nodded and settled back into his seat. He chatted with Foggy, Matt, and Tony while they waited for the others to return. When they did, Bucky handed Steve his bottle of water before he slouched down in his seat. Bucky silently laced their fingers together but didn’t look up when Steve turned to look at him. Frowning, Steve ducked his head a little towards his boyfriend and quietly asked, “Everything alright?”

     “I’ll tell you about it later.” Bucky murmured, running his thumb along Steve’s index finger.

     Steve lifted their joined hands and pressed a kiss against the back of Bucky’s. He let their hands drop to the armrest and said, “Alright, a ghrá geal.” Whatever had happened while Bucky was getting them drinks was obviously bothering him but Steve didn’t want to push. It clearly wasn’t the time or the place. Besides, he trusted Bucky to tell him when they got home. No need to ruin their night out. Turning his attention back to the field, Steve smiled to himself as he watched the players getting into position for the start of the game.

     It was different, sitting this close to home plate. The players weren’t just dots on the field but actual humans that Steve could see. He was used to sitting up in the nosebleeds, Sam and Natasha on either side, and splitting his attention between the big screen and the diamond. One memorable game was the one where the three of them ended up on the KissCam while the teams were switching out. God damn, that had been embarrassing. He hadn’t been paying attention to the big screen at the time, too focused on answering a text while the players were switching out. One second he was telling Darcy to wear the red dress on her date, the next he had both Sam and Natasha sloppily kissing his cheeks. He didn’t realize they were on the big screen until he heard a few hoots and hollers from around them. Glancing up, he saw himself, wide eyed and with a bright red lip print adorning his cheek, on the monitor while Sam and Natasha high fived over his head.

     Tony’s voice pulled Steve out of his musing. “Are you kidding me? That was clearly in your strike zone! Why didn’t you swing?!”

     Steve focused on the game, cheering when Gennett fouled and eventually struck out without swinging. He knew he shouldn’t’ve been surprised by the amount of boos he heard when Braun headed to the plate but the ferocity of the shouts did. Claire looked over at them and asked, “Do you guys know what they’re booing about? I work a lot and don’t have time to keep up on other teams.”

     Bucky leaned forward and said, “Braun got caught doping and then lied about it. He got a 65 game suspension but people are still pretty pissed off at him.

     Shifting in his seat, Tony said, “And rightfully so. I get there’s a lot of pressure to perform in the pros but seriously. Drugs aren’t the answer.”

     Claire nodded and said, “Makes sense why people would be pissed off.”

     Steve turned his attention away from his friends and back to the game only to watch Matsuaka pitch a fourth ball, causing Braun to walk. Everyone in their little group, Tony and Bruce excluded, groaned as Braun made his way to first base. It was Tony’s turn to groan when Lucroy lined out to center; though, he did have a bit of time to gloat when Braun stole second and Matsuaka walked Gomez. That gloating didn’t last long considering Ramirez flied out to left field on his second pitch.

     The bottom of the first inning went by quickly, much to Steve’s chagrin. Tejada flied out to left on his fourth pitch, thought it had looked like he was going to put it out of the park. Murphy popped a foul on his first pitch, managed to get a ball for his second, took a swing at the third but missed, and flied out to center on his fourth. Wright grounded out to short on his fourth. Steve frowned and leaned back in his seat. If Wright had run just a bit faster he may have been able to beat the throw.

     As the teams switched out, the camera panned the crowd. Karen and Claire weren’t paying much attention to anyone else. Foggy and Matt were talking in low whispers to one another. Bruce was indulgently listening to Tony prattle on about batting averages. Steve looked over at Bucky and bumped their shoulders together.

     Bucky looked over and, smiling brightly at him, said, “Yeah, iubitule?”

     Steve pressed another kiss to the back of Bucky’s hand and asked, “Like the view so far?”

     “It’s better than the nosebleeds, that’s for sure.” Bucky said, smiling and letting go of Steve’s hand. At Steve’s confused look, Bucky wrapped his arm around Steve’s shoulders and pressed a kiss to the blonde’s temple. Steve turned his attention back to the field to hide his blush and leaned into Bucky’s side, ignoring the armrest digging into his side.

     Neither team scored in the second inning. The Mets didn’t get a run until the bottom of the third when Murphy homered to right and brought in Tejada. Claire and Matt cheered loudly while Foggy and Karen high fived. Steve almost clipped Bucky’s chin as he threw his arms up in triumph. Tony groaned and hung his head while Bruce patted his back. The Brewers scored at the top of the fourth, which caused everyone in their group, save for Tony and Bruce, to groan. Tony cheered, much to the section’s chagrin, and Bruce just smiled indulgently.

     It looked, for all of three innings, like the Brewers could possibly catch up to the Mets. That is, it looked that way until the bottom of the sixth when Teagarden hit a homerun to right and brought in Wright, Granderson, and Duda. Foggy wrapped an arm around Matt’s neck and pressed a kiss to his cheek while Claire and Karen did a little celebratory dance. Bucky whooped and hollered, careful not to let Steve knock into his drink when Steve hopped up and cheered with the others. Tony was half-tempted to pout about the grand slam but he didn’t. Instead, he took a sip of his beer and looked over at Bruce with a small smile. The group settled down again and took their seats once more as the teams switched places, playfully ribbing one another.

     The top of the seventh was fairly uneventful. Overbay hit a single to right field and Segura grounded into a double play, first to shortstop then to pitcher with Overbay out at second. Schafer flied out to left and it was the start of the seventh inning stretch.

     Steve stood back up and stretched his arms over his head, sighing when his back popped and shifted. He turned his head and frowned. Matt had his head turned towards Steve and had an odd look on his face. Steve shifted from foot to foot and asked, “Everything okay, Matt?”

     “The shifting and popping I just heard is confusing me. Was that your back?”

     “Yeah.” Steve said, rubbing the back of his neck.

     Bucky stood and, twisting to stretch out his back, said, “I swear sometimes his back sounds like a bag of popcorn.”

     “That is rather concerning.” Matt said, frowning slightly.

     “I’m fine. It’s just the way my back is.” Steve said, blushing slightly. He turned to his boyfriend and wrapped an arm around his waist. Bucky smiled and, wrapping an arm around Steve’s shoulders, pressed a kiss to Steve’s temple. A familiar tune drifted through the stadium, causing their group and those around them to sing along.

_Take me out to the ball game,_

_take me out with the crowd;_

_buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack,_

_I don't care if I never get back._

_Let me root, root, root for the home team,_

_if they don't win, it's a shame._

_For it's one...two...three strikes, you're out_

_at the old ball game._

As Lazy Mary started playing, Steve turned to Bucky and asked, “Want anything to drink, mon étoile? I’m gonna go get something to munch on.”

     “Nah, I’m good, darlin’.” Bucky pressed another kiss to Steve’s temple before he let him go.

     “I’ll go with you, Steve.” Claire said, smiling slightly.

     Steve smiled and said, “Alright, Claire.”

     Once they were in line, Steve shoved his hands in his pockets and hummed softly along with the song that was playing over the loudspeakers. Claire fiddled with her phone for a couple of minutes before she tucked it into her pocket and asked, “So...how long have you and Bucky been dating?”

     Steve blinked and, frowning, thought back. “Depends on where you count it from. If you count it from where we admitted we were in love with each other, then we’ve been dating for almost five months. On the other hand, if you count it from where we actually had a discussion about our relationship, then it’s almost four months.”

     Claire stared at him and blinked slowly. “Seriously?”

     Blushing, Steve nodded. He shot Claire a cautious look and asked, “Yeah? Why?”

     “Nothing bad.” Claire assured with a small smile. “I just thought you two had been dating a lot longer than that based off of how you act around each other.”

     “Ah. Yeah, no.” Steve rubbed the back of his neck and hesitantly added, “We’ve actually only known each other since late September, early October.”

     Claire’s smile widened. “Nothing wrong with that. I knew, pretty much from day one, that I was in love with Matt and wanted to be with him.” She chuckled and, lowering her voice and leaning in, softly admitted, “It was a bit of a longer road with Karen and Foggy but we got our shit together in the end.”

     Steve smiled and said, “That’s good.”

     Claire shoved her hands in her pockets and asked, “So, Steve, what is it that you do? Tony didn’t say.”

     “I’m a tattoo artist. I own a shop out in Brooklyn.” Steve replied, smiling slightly. Claire brightened immediately and asked him a few questions about what it was like to be a tattoo artist and to get a tattoo.

     The line moved fairly quickly and, before they knew it, they were back at their seats with the others. If you had asked him afterwards, Steve would have been forced to admit that he really didn’t pay attention to the last couple innings of the game. Sure, he cheered when the Mets scored and groaned when they did something stupid. But he wasn’t really focused on the game. Instead, his attention was drawn more to his boyfriend; who had become increasingly withdrawn as the game drew to a close. Sure, Bucky cheered and jokingly ribbed Tony when the Mets won but he seemed a little off to Steve. It was something in his eyes. They weren’t as bright as they usually were.

     Bucky kept up his smile as they walked Claire, Karen, Foggy, and Matt out to their car. But, almost as soon as they had left, he fell silent and withdrew from the group. The turn in his demeanor was so abrupt that even Tony noticed. Steve was thankful that he didn’t point it out or try to force Bucky into talking but he knew that Tony still noticed.

     Once they pulled up to Steve’s building, Steve and Bucky quickly said goodbye to Tony and Bruce then got out of the car and headed into the building. Steve watched Bucky walk up the stairs with his head bowed and his hands shoved into his pockets.

     Pausing, Bucky turned around and quirked a brow. “You coming up, punk?”

     “Yeah. I’m coming.” Steve replied, heading up the stairs after his soldier. They walked side-by-side up the stairs in heavy silence.

     Once they got into the apartment, Bucky made a bee-line for the bathroom. Frowning, Steve locked the door and headed to the bedroom. He could go a night without brushing his teeth, it wouldn’t hurt his teeth too much. He changed out of his clothes and into a pair of loose pajama bottoms and one of Bucky’s tees before he climbed into bed. He wondered what was bothering Bucky. He had been fine for the majority of the game so the sudden shift didn’t make sense. Steve watched the door quietly, not even bothering to remove his glasses or his hearing aids. Bucky shuffled in, head bowed, and made his way to the dresser. Steve watched him silently, confused by Bucky’s near robotic movements as he shucked his clothes off. Bucky pulled on a pair of boxers and crawled into bed with Steve. He shifted around a bit to get comfortable before he looked up at Steve.

     Smiling gently, Steve reached out and rested his hand on Bucky’s hip. “You okay now?”

     Sighing, Bucky reached up and took Steve’s glasses off. He set them on Steve’s nightstand and said, “A little. I’m glad we’re home.”

     “What happened?” Steve asked, shifting closer and tucking himself against Bucky.

     Bucky wrapped his arms around Steve and buried his face in Steve’s hair. Closing his eyes, he breathed in deeply and exhaled slowly. “I ran into a few of my old baseball teammates and my old coach.”

     “Okay?” Steve murmured, rubbing Bucky’s side soothingly.

     “It’s stupid to let them get to me. But they just brought up some shit and...” Bucky trailed off with a sigh. A moment passed then he mumbled, “I don’t know. It’s bothering me.”

     Steve pressed a kiss to Bucky’s clavicle and murmured, against his skin, “It’s alright, Buck. I know what running into people you used to know can do.”

     “Thanks, Stevie.” Bucky whispered hoarsely. He traced the bumps and divots of Steve’s spine with his fingertips, causing Steve to shiver. Bucky smiled to himself and started to trace patterns on Steve’s back. Steve groaned softly and bumped his chin against Bucky.

     “I swear, you start tickling me and I’m gonna kick you out of the bed. Bad mood or not.”

     Chuckling, Bucky pressed a kiss to Steve’s crown. “Alright, love.”

     Steve settled against him and, after a beat, asked, “I know you might not want to talk about it but...what did your old teammates bring up?”

     Bucky sighed and stayed silent for a moment. “It started out okay. They asked how being a soldier was and if I was home on leave or if I was out for good. I asked how their lives were going. Which ones got married, who had kids, stuff like that.”

     “Seems like a normal conversation so far.”

     “It was. Until my old coach asked if either Claire or Karen were my girlfriend since they had seen me talking and joking with them.”

     “Ah.”

     “Yeah. My old teammates started joking around when I didn’t respond right away and asked if I was dating both of them at once. Coach got a really weird look on his face and told them to knock it off, that I was better than that.”

     “Okay. I’m assuming it got very bad, very fast after that.”

     “A bit, yeah. I got offended on Claire and Karen’s behalf and ended up defending polyamory while also outing myself. It didn’t go very well.” Bucky sighed and rolled on his back. He looked over at Steve and, playing with his boyfriend’s hair, continued, “I knew that they were a bit homophobic back in high school, which is why I never came out to them. But knowing and having that hatred directed at you from people you used to count as close friends? Yeah, that hurt a lot more than I thought it would.”

     “I’m sorry, Buck.” Steve murmured, running his fingers through Bucky’s chest hair.

     Bucky rolled back over and, curling around Steve, buried his face in Steve’s neck. “I’m just glad to be home now.”

     Steve kissed Bucky’s temple and said, “Is there anything I can do for you?”

     “Just hold me and talk about something else.” Bucky murmured.

     “Loki’s doing a concert on the 23rd. Darcy offered to get us in.”

     Bucky pulled away slightly and stared up at Steve. “Seriously? When’d you find out about this?”

     “This morning at work, before I came home to get ready for the game.” Steve said, raising an eyebrow. “I’m assuming that you want to go?”

     “Is the Pope Catholic?” Bucky asked, shooting Steve an unamused look.

     Steve rolled his eyes. “Okay, okay, stupid question.” He kissed Bucky’s temple and said, “Tomorrow I’ll let Darcy know that we’d like to go.”

     “Thank you.” Bucky murmured, curling against Steve. Steve ran his fingers through Bucky’s hair, simply enjoying being near his boyfriend. It wasn’t until his boyfriend had started snoring softly that Steve realized that Bucky had dropped off to sleep. Smiling to himself, Steve closed his eyes and allowed himself to drift off as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: 
> 
> Keel-hauled: A medeival naval punishment that involves tying a line to each arm of the convicted sailor and pushing him off the bow of the ship under sail. The sailor was 'hauled' along the barnacle encrusted 'keel' of the vessel aided by the movement of the ship and pulled back aboard at the stern of the ship.  
> a ghrá geal literally means my bright love  
> iubitule: sweetheart  
> mon étoile: my star
> 
> Baseball terminology:  
> Strike: a pitch that enters the strike zone but is either not swung at or the swing missed the ball  
> Strike zone: the space above home plate, located between the batter's knees and the midpoint of their torso, that a pitch could reasonably be hit in  
> Ball: a pitch which does not enter the strike zone in flight and is not struck at by the batter  
> Walk: also known as a base on balls, after 4 pitches that are ruled balls, the batter is allowed to head to first base without the possibility of being called out.  
> Struck out looking: when a batter doesn’t make an attempt at a pitch that the umpire rules a third strike.  
> Struck out swinging: when a batter makes an attempt at a pitch and does not make contact with the ball, or fouls the ball directly into the catcher's mitt  
> Line drive: also called a liner, a sharply hit, low-flying batted ball.  
> Lined out to (center, left, right, pitcher, etc.): when a batter hits a line drive and it is caught.  
> Fly ball: is a ball that is hit in the air, usually very high  
> Flied out to (center, left, right): a fly ball that is caught  
> Ground ball: also called a grounder, a batted ball that rolls or bounces on the ground. A line drive in the infield may become a hard grounder to an outfielder; these are usually called line drives regardless.  
> Grounded out to (pitcher, shortstop, second, third, etc.): a batter is put out after hitting a grounder to an infielder.  
> Bunts: a distinct type of batted ball, where the batter, in effect, tries to 'block' the ball with the bat held steady, rather than taking a full swing.  
> Foul: a batted ball that settles on foul territory between home and first base or between home and third base, or bounds past first or third base on or over foul territory, or first falls on foul territory beyond first or third base, or, while on or over foul territory, touches the person of an umpire or player or any object foreign to the natural ground.  
> Homered to (right, left, center): hit a homerun to whatever part of the field is mentioned.  
> Double play: managing to get two runners put out in one play.
> 
> General terminology:  
> The nosebleeds: also called the nosebleed section/nosebleed seats; a section of seating, usually in stadiums or gyms, that is the highest possible place to get a seat; they’re typically also the furthest from the action.


	22. All's Fair in Love and War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce whipped around and yelled, “Really, Tony?”  
> “I was aiming for Steve!” A pause then, “Damnit, Barnes! Three to the chest still hurts even with the padding!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for this update being so late. Life got in the way. 
> 
> Warning: There is a sex scene in this one, but you don't necessarily have to read it to read along with the next chapter. If you don't want to read it, stop when you get to “Mmm, kiss me a few more times and I’ll forgive you.” or whenever you start to feel uncomfortable.

     Steve climbed on the back of the Shadow and wrapped his arms around Bucky’s waist. He tucked his face into the soft leather of Bucky’s riding jacket and closed his eyes as his boyfriend pulled into traffic. It had been a hellish few days since the Mets game with Tony and Bruce. The shop got slammed all of a sudden and he’d been pulling even longer hours just to try to keep up with the demand. Hell, he actually fell asleep during the Mets game that Bucky had taken him to yesterday because he was so damn tired. Guilt pooled in his gut as he thought about it. He didn’t even wake up until the game was already over and everyone else was filing out of the stadium. But, it was a little better now that he’d spent most of the morning and afternoon dozing with Bucky in bed.

     Bucky pulled up in front of the restaurant and parked in between two cars. Once Bucky had the kickstand in place, he slid off the back and pulled his helmet off. Bucky smiled at him and pocketed the keys before he pulled his own helmet off. After he’d gotten off the bike, he straightened his jacket and nodded towards the door of the restaurant. “Ready to head inside, darlin’?”

     “Sure.” Steve muttered. He slipped his hand into Bucky’s as they headed for the door. Bucky glanced at him and smiled gently.

     The door swung shut behind them and, without looking up from her computer, the hostess said, “Sorry, we’re closed for a private party.”

    Her tone grated on his nerves and he was still too tired to deal with being nice to people who were being rude to him. Steve frowned and, letting his annoyance bleed into his tone, said, “I know. We’re a part of the party.”

     The hostess glanced up and eyed them suspiciously. “Names?”

     “Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers.” Bucky said with a placating smile.

     The hostess glanced back at the computer and, after a beat, nodded. She grabbed menus and said, “Follow me, please.”

     Steve rolled his eyes and tugged Bucky along after the hostess. Darcy looked over when they entered the room and, with a large smile, said, “Steve! Bucky! Glad you guys could make it.”

     “Yeah, Sarge.” Clint said, smirking slightly. “Thought you two were gonna be no-shows.”

     Bucky shrugged out of his jacket and sat in one of the free seats across from Clint and Darcy. “We lost track of time.”

     Tony smirked and said, “Oh?”

     “Get your mind out of the gutter, Stark.” Steve said, sitting down beside Bucky. He glanced at the hostess as she set the menus down and shot her a strained smile before turning his attention back to Tony. “I spent most of the day asleep because I’ve been pulling too many late nights recently.”

     “He even slept through the Mets game.” Bucky said idly as he looked through the menu.

     Natasha leaned over and looked at Steve, obviously concerned. “You fell asleep at a Mets game?”

     “Sleep deprivation can do that to you.” Steve muttered. He glanced over at Natasha and added, “Don’t worry, Buck’s been making sure I eat regularly so I won’t drop any weight.”

     Darcy nodded. “I can confirm that one.”

     “Same.” Sam said, smiling slightly.

     At Natasha’s confused look, Darcy explained, “He calls the shop to make sure Steve’s eaten.”

     “And, if I haven’t, he makes me take a quick break to eat.” Steve said, smiling slightly and setting his menu aside. Natasha eyed Bucky for a moment before nodding approvingly.

     Clint leaned over and, smiling, said, “Well, if we’re done talking about Sarge being a worry-wart, I can introduce you two to my guests.”

     “Go for it.” Bucky said, leaning back in his seat and resting his arm on the back of Steve’s seat.

     Clint looked over and said, “Guys, this is Bucky, my sergeant, and Steve, his boyfriend.”

     “Steve already knows me and Melinda.” Skye said, leaning forward. She shot Steve a warm smile, which he returned, then turned her attention to Bucky and added, “I’m Daisy Johnson but you can call me Skye.”

     “Pleasure to meet you.” Bucky replied with a small smile.

     “Melinda May. I work with Phil, Natasha, and Maria.” Melinda leaned back in her seat and shot Clint a look. “I also used to work with that one before he went into the military.”

     “I assume you’re the one that saved those two’s asses all the time?” Bucky asked, motioning to Clint and Phil. Melinda smiled slightly and sipped her water, declining to answer.

     The dark haired woman next to Melinda leaned forward and said, “Jessica Jones. PI.”

     “I think I’ve seen you around the gym once or twice. Sparring with a blonde woman.” Steve said, cocking his head to the side.

     The corners of Jessica’s mouth quirked upwards in a half-smile. “That’d be Trish. She wanted to come but had a meeting that couldn’t be rescheduled.” Jessica turned to the man on her right and said, “And this is my boyfriend, Luke Cage.”

     Luke smiled kindly at them and said, “I own a bar that Clint likes to frequent whenever he’s in town.”

Bucky nodded and glanced at the woman sitting on Luke’s other side. He blinked and said, “Bobbi?”

     Bobbi smirked and said, “In the flesh.”

     Steve looked between Bucky, Clint, Bobbi and asked, “Not to sound completely stupid but who’re you?”

     “Clint’s ex-wife. We got divorced after...what, a year?” Bobbi asked, looking over at Clint.

     “I think it was two.” Clint said, cocking his head to the side.

     “It was a year and a half, almost to the day.” Phil said, lifting up his glass. Everyone looked at him and he calmly took a sip of his drink.

     Bobbi smiled slightly and said, “And there’s the Phil I remember. Charmingly disarming and more than mildly creepy.”

     Phil shot her an unamused look and, before he could say anything, the waitress cleared her throat to get their attention. Once she’d gathered all of their orders and had disappeared back towards the kitchen once more, the table fell back into easy conversation. Steve leaned into Bucky’s side and Bucky traced light patterns on Steve’s shoulder while he chatted with Gabe and Kate. Steve fiddled with his fork and zoned out until Skye asked, “How’s the shop doing, Steve? You said you were working a lot lately?”

     Steve looked back up and smiled sheepishly. “Yeah. Things are getting really busy now that summer’s here and tourism is picking up.”

     “I was thinking of stopping by to get my back piece started but if you guys are slammed then I think I’ll wait.” Skye said, smiling kindly.

     “I’d suggest stopping by in the fall, once school starts back up again.” Steve said. He rested his hand on Bucky’s thigh and glanced at his boyfriend then looked back at Skye and asked, “Remind me, what is it exactly that you do?”

     Skye chuckled. “I take care of the books for Phil and handle the online presence of the gym. I also do some freelance coding on the side.” Skye nodded her head towards Jane, who was at the other end of the table, and said, “I actually helped Jane out on one of her recent projects.”

     After hearing her name, Jane grinned and said, “Couldn’t’ve finished it without your help.” Skye beamed at the praise.

     Jessica leaned over and caught Skye’s attention before she asked, “Think I could hire you to do some side work? I’ve got some issues with my website and the other people I’ve talked to about it are apparently morons.”

     “Sure thing; I’ll stop by tomorrow and we can talk about it more in depth.” Skye said with a nod.

     Steve smiled slightly and struck up a conversation with Skye about her back piece until their food came out. After their food arrived, everyone’s conversation died down. Steve didn’t really taste half of what he ate but he figured that it was just because he was still a bit tired. Once their plates had been cleared away and Tony had settled the bill, they all went to their cars and headed out to the paintball place.

     Thankfully, traffic was light, or as light as it would ever get in New York City, so it didn’t take long for them to get over there. Everyone agreed that, since there were four snipers and twenty-four of them in total, each sniper should lead a team.

     Gabe said, “I call birthday girl!” Darcy chuckled and went to stand beside him.

     “Really?” Peggy asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

     “What?” Gabe shot her a look and added, “You heard her at dinner. She’s aiming for the spots that hurt the most, I want her on my team to avoid that.” Peggy snorted and muttered something that distinctly sounded like “coward.”

     Clint slung an arm around Steve’s shoulders and said, “I claim this one as my first pick since Birthday Girl already got claimed by Gabe.”

     Steve smiled slightly and wrapped his arm around Clint’s waist as Bucky glared at his best friend. Bucky sniffed slightly and said, “Fine, I call Phil then.” Clint flipped him off while Steve laughed and Phil moved to stand with Bucky with a small, indulgent smile.

     Kate grinned and said, “I call Maria.” Maria smiled slightly and moved to stand with Kate.

     They went on like that, each sniper claiming one of their friends, until every one of them had a team of six. With that done, they headed inside to rent their gear and paint. While everyone else was getting their protective gear on or helping someone else with theirs, Bucky pulled Steve aside to check his protective gear and murmured, “Be safe. I’d rather you not get too many bruises today.”

     Steve rolled his eyes. Logically, he knew it was just because his boyfriend loved him and didn’t like seeing him hurt. But, that also didn’t mean that he was incapable of finding it a smidge annoying. He watched Bucky adjust a strap to tighten his padded vest and softly said, “I’m not made of glass, Buck.” Bucky nodded absentmindedly and continued to check Steve’s gear. Rolling his eyes heavenward, Steve took a deep breath and said, “I also know how to put on protective gear.”

     “I know.” Bucky checked the vest one more time and added, “But you also know that I just don’t like seeing you hurt.” Bucky grabbed one of the paintball guns and offered it to Steve with an apologetic smile.

     “I’ll be fine.” Steve said, taking the paintball gun. He checked the pressure just to give himself time to calm down a little then looked back up at Bucky. Raising an eyebrow, he added, “Why don’t you watch your own ass and stop worrying about mine.”

     Bucky rolled his eyes playfully and quipped, “But your ass is so much prettier than mine.”

     “You’re damn right it is!” Kate called from across the room.

     “Fuck off, Kate!” Bucky yelled back, flipping the other sniper off.

     Steve slipped away from his boyfriend while he was distracted and headed over to his teammates. He loved his boyfriend. More than anything. But he really needed to get away from him before he decided to quadruple check his protective gear or claim it wasn’t enough. Clint, Natasha, Bobbi, Skye, and Jane had their heads bowed together and were talking quietly amongst themselves. Steve slid in between Clint and Natasha and asked, “So, what’s the game plan?”

     “We’re breaking up into teams of two and trying to take out as many as possible in the first round. In the other rounds, we’ll make a game plan for those as they come up.” Bobbi replied with a smile.

     “You suck at paintball so you’re going to be with Clint.” Natasha said, raising an eyebrow.

     Steve rolled his eyes. “Thanks, sis.”

     “No problem, bro.” Natasha said, smirking. Bobbi, Skye, and Jane all chuckled.

     Jane nudged Steve’s shoulder and said, “Don’t worry, I’m not that great either.” She tilted her head towards Bobbi and added, “Which is why I’m paired up with Bobbi.”

     Smiling slightly, Steve said, “At least there’s that.”

     One of the employees came over and started to explain the guidelines, “Alright, just a few basic rules. No headshots or neck shots. Try to avoid groin shots. Do not take off your goggles until you’re in the safe zone. No blind shooting either. Don’t climb on anything that doesn’t have stairs.” They looked around the group and added, “I know some of you are military and that y’all’s training exercises might have different rules but, please guys. Don’t do it. The only structures that we can guarantee to hold weight are the ones with stairs. Also, if you’re having issues with your gun, bring it to a staff member, we don’t want any accidents.” They looked around at the group again and, with a small smile, added, “Basically, use your head and don’t be an ass to your friends. Y’all are working on a three shots and you’re out rule so keep track of how many times you get hit. This is on the honor system. Got it?”

     All of them chorused, “Got it.”

     Once the employee released them onto the playing field, Steve and Clint headed off to find their own starting point. Once the starting buzzer rang, everyone was off. Clint immediately hit Thor and Loki before either of them could turn around while Steve dove behind a hide to avoid getting hit by one of Tony’s shots. Unfortunately, the shot meant for him hit Bruce in the hip.

     Bruce whipped around and yelled, “Really, Tony?”

     “I was aiming for Steve!” A pause then, “Damnit, Barnes! Three to the chest still hurts even with the padding!”

     Steve snorted and shot Clint an amused look. Though it may have annoyed him at first, at least they’d be able to use Bucky’s protectiveness of him to their advantage. Clint grinned and they snuck around the course, using Steve’s size to their advantage with the hides, and managed to take out a good portion of Bucky’s and Gabe’s teams. Not that either of them managed to find either sniper to get a shot off at them.

     At one point, they ran into Bobbi and Jane and Clint asked, “How many did you guys take out?”

     “Bobbi got Peggy, Pepper, and Jessica. I got the last hit for Bruce.” Jane said, grinning brightly.

     Bobbi smiled and added, “She also gave Thor and Loki their second ones after you hit them.”

     Steve offered his hand for a high five and, as Jane slapped it, said, “Not bad.”

     “Thanks, Steve.”

     Clint grinned and asked, “How’re Skye and Nat doing?”

     Jane was about to answer when they heard a loud screech followed by a deep chuckle. They all shared a confused look but, before anyone could say anything, Maria yelled, “Oh, fuck you, Romanoff! I’m so kicking your ass in the sparring match on Monday!”

     “I’d like to see you try, Hill!” Natasha called gleefully.

     “Should’ve made sure your arms were behind the wall, sweetheart.” Nick called.

     Steve chuckled and said, “I guess Nat just got Maria out.”

     Clint nodded and said, “We should head over to the other side, see who else is left.” He nodded to their teammates before heading out. Steve shot them both a small smile before heading after him.

     They managed to get the kill shots for a couple more of their friends before the referee called time. Bucky dropped down off of one of the climbable structures, spotless, and smiled at the others when he joined them in the waiting area. Gabe shook his head and said, “Damn, Barnes. That’s just not fair.”

     Bucky shrugged and said, “All’s fair in love and war, Jones.”

     The rest game went by fairly quickly and, by the fourth and final round, they had devolved into a game of everyone for themselves. Steve snuck through one section of the course, keeping a close eye out for anyone in front of him. He barely registered the whistle of a paintball flying past his head before heard someone cursing behind him. He turned towards the cursing. Riley stood there, glaring over Steve’s shoulder, with blue paint splattered over his chest. Riley ignored Steve’s confused look and yelled, “Damn it, Barnes! I know it’s a free-for-all but I’m still on your team!”

     Steve turned back around and scanned the tops of the climbable structures around him. Just as he thought, Bucky was atop one of them a few feet away. He smiled slightly and waved his thanks as Riley stormed off to the safe area, cursing under his breath. Bucky nodded and reloaded his paintball gun. Smiling to himself, Steve ducked his head down and headed off in a different direction.

     Ten minutes later, he ran into Bucky behind one of the hides. Bucky grinned and leaned down to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth. Steve gently shoved him and, with a small smile, asked, “How many are there left?”

     “Just us. Clint texted me and said everyone’s waiting for us in the safe zone. Something about not letting us pull a Katniss and Peeta.” Bucky shrugged. “Whatever the hell that means.”

     Steve snorted. “It means that he’s not going to let both of us win this round.”

     “So...what? One of us has to shoot the other?” Bucky asked, frowning.

     “Pretty much.” Steve said, shrugging.

     Bucky shook his head. “Well, I’m not shooting you.” Without another word, he turned on his heel and headed towards the rest of the group.

     Steve glanced down at his paintball gun and got an idea. Smirking to himself, he trailed behind his boyfriend, whistling a jaunty tune, and made sure to keep a distance of about twenty to twenty-five feet between them. He waited until they were within sight and earshot of the rest of the group before he stopped, aimed, and shot Bucky in the butt. His boyfriend yelped as the rest of their friends burst out laughing, even the referee was chuckling to themself. Bucky whipped around to glare at Steve, who smiled serenely and, lowering his paintball gun, said, “Sorry, dear. It just went off.”

     Sighing, Bucky shook his head. He pointed a finger at Steve and said, “You’re kissing any bruises that form because of that stunt.”

     “Yes, dear.” Steve said, smirking. He jogged over to Bucky and wrapped an arm around his waist. They walked back to the rest of their group.

     “Congrats, Steve.” Clint said, grinning brightly and handing Steve a gift card from a local pizza place. When Steve shot him a confused look, he added, “You’re the one with the least amount of paint on themself because of that one.” He hooked a thumb at Bucky.

     Steve chuckled and shook his head. “Thanks, Clint.” 

     They all headed back to turn in their protective gear and the paintball guns. All of them were joking and laughing and Clint’s friends had managed to meld in with the group fairly well. Unfortunately, most of their group had to beg off getting dessert afterwards, mostly because they had to work that night or because they had to work early in the morning.

     In the parking lot, Steve looked between Clint and Darcy and asked, “So, now what?”

     “Ice cream at Egger’s?” Darcy suggested.

     “That’s out in Staten Island.” Bucky said, frowning slightly. Darcy raised an eyebrow and shot him a ‘what’s your point’ look. He rolled his eyes and added, “I do not want to drive out to Staten Island while I have a pretty large bruise forming on my ass because my boyfriend shot me.”

     Clint chuckled and asked, “How about the Farmacy?” He looked at Bucky and added, “That’s at least in Brooklyn.”

     “The Farmacy works for me.” Steve said with a small nod.

     Loki looked at Darcy and said, “It’s closer to our place too. As much as I like Egger’s, I also don’t want to drive out to Staten Island right now.”

     Darcy shrugged and said, “Alright, that’s fine by me.”

     Bucky and Steve put their helmets and jackets on while the others headed to their cars. Steve climbed on the bike behind his boyfriend and wrapped his arms around his waist. Once he was sure that Steve was seated, he started up the bike and headed out onto the road. Steve ducked his head behind his boyfriend and closed his eyes. The thrum of the motor as they roared down the road rattled his chest, in a good way.

     The ride to the Farmacy was both too short and too long. Somehow they managed to get there first, which surprised Steve a little. Once Bucky parked the bike, he tapped Steve’s arm and asked, “You doing okay, pisoiul meu?”

     Steve slowly unwound himself from Bucky and said, “Yeah, just a little stiff and sore.”

     Bucky shot him a concerned look over his shoulder and asked, “Do you need a massage or something when we get home?”

     “Well, I’m certainly not going to turn down a massage.” Steve said with a coy smile as he hauled himself off the back of the Shadow. He stretched his arms over his head and groaned softly as his back popped a few times.

     Smiling, Bucky took off his helmet and, as Steve take his own helmet off, he said, “Oh, I know you won’t.” He shot Steve a playful look and added, “But don’t think you’re getting out of making that buttshot up to me.”

     Steve chuckled and leaned in to press a kiss against Bucky’s mouth, letting his eyes slip shut as he did so. Bucky rested his hand on the back of Steve’s neck and kissed him back gently. Pulling away a little and opening his eyes, Steve murmured, “Don’t worry, Buck.” He trailed his hand along Bucky’s thigh. “I’ll make it feel all better when we get home.”

     Bucky groaned softly and, keeping his eyes closed, rested his forehead against Steve’s. He softly asked, “You do realize that when you say stuff like that, it goes straight to my dick?”

     “You realize that is the exact reason why I say stuff like that, right?” Steve replied with a smug grin.

     Bucky laughed and said, “You’re such an ass.”

     “Yeah, I am.” Steve said, grinning. He kissed Bucky’s jaw and glanced around. Clint and Phil walked over and waved at them. Steve pulled back a little and called, “Hey, guys. Loki and Darce here?”

     “They’re inside getting us a table.” Phil said, smiling slightly.

     Bucky swung himself off the bike and said, “Let’s go in and wait with them then.”

     Steve smiled slightly and slipped his hand in Bucky’s as they walked towards the entrance with Phil and Clint. The six of them waited patiently and talked among themselves while they waited for a table. Steve noticed Loki shifting nervously from foot to foot and glancing around the room cautiously. Frowning, he nudged Loki’s side and asked, “You okay?”

     Loki looked down at him and, with a hesitant smile, said, “Just waiting until someone realizes who I am or for the paps to show up. Native New Yorkers tend to not give a shit but tourists can be a pain and paps give us no privacy.”

     Steve nodded and said, “I’m sure everything’ll be okay. It looks like no one’s giving a damn so far.”

     Loki shrugged. “Here’s hoping it stays that way.”

     “If they show up, Buck and I’ll haul them out.” Clint said, bumping his elbow against Loki’s.

     Bucky looked over from his conversation with Phil and asked, “What am I doing?”

     “Hauling paps out if they show up to annoy Loki.” Steve said, smiling slightly.

     “Ah, yeah. Sure.” Bucky smiled.

     Their waitress walked over and said, “Hey, guys, we’ve got a table for you.” They nodded and followed her back to one of the back tables. She handed them menus and said, “I’ll give you guys a few minutes and then come back to get your orders. Let me know if you have any questions, okay?” After receiving affirmative responses, she headed off to help another customer.

     Steve looked down at the menu and said, “I can never finish one of the sundaes on my own.”

     “We can split one if you want.” Bucky said, wrapping his arm around Steve’s shoulders.

     “Okay.” Steve leaned into Bucky’s side. “Do you have any preferences?”

     “Not really.” Bucky said, cocking his head to the side.

     “The affugazi affogato is really good.” Darcy said, looking through her menu. “Though I’m thinking the bandana split would be good right now.”

     Steve looked up at Bucky and asked, “The affugazi good with you?” At Bucky’s nod, Steve set aside the menu and looked over at Loki, who was sitting across from him. “Looking forward to the concert next week?”

     Loki nodded. “It’ll be nice playing a smaller venue again.” He cocked his head to the side. “Are you two coming?”

     “Yeah. We’ve got something to do that morning but we’ll be there.” Steve said.

     Loki raised an eyebrow and asked, “Do I even want to know?”

     “We’re visiting the ‘rents.” Bucky said, shifting slightly.

     “Ah.” Loki said, looking down. “We’re having another one on July 14th if you guys end up missing it.”

     “Thanks, Loki. I’m sure we’ll make it though.” Steve said, smiling slightly.

     Their waitress came back and said, “Hey, you guys. Sorry about the wait. Can I get your orders?”

     They all gave her their orders and she headed off to fill them. Clint looked over at them and asked, “Has Tony asked any of you guys if you want to go to a gala on the 21st of July?”

     “Not yet, but I’m sure he will later.” Steve said, resting hand on Bucky’s thigh.

     “Does that mean we have to wear our dress blues?” Bucky asked, looking over at Clint.

     “Well I’m certainly not renting a damn tux. Not for one night.” Clint said, frowning. He fiddled with his bracelet and said, “At least my dress blues are tailored to me.”

     “I thought the dress uniforms were green.” Darcy said, frowning.

     “They were, since like the 50s, but they’re phasing them out.” Bucky explained.

     Clint nodded and added, “I mean, the green class A’s looked fine, to me anyway, but they’re uncomfortable as hell to wear since it’s made almost entirely out of polyester.”

     “The new dress blues kind of look like the love child of the Navy officer’s dress blues and the Marine’s dress blues.” Bucky said, smiling slightly.

     Clint blinked. “Oh my God. They do. What the hell.” He rubbed his face. “Why is this our life?”

     “Who the hell knows.” Bucky said, shaking his head.

     “It could be worse. You could be a circus performer and have to wear bedazzled spandex pants.” Darcy said, raising an eyebrow.

     Clint looked over at her and said, “What the hell, Darce?”

     “She has a point though.” Bucky said, struggling to keep a straight face as Darcy just shrugged.

     Phil hummed softly and said, “Well, that’s a nice image.”

     Loki chuckled and shook his head as Clint shot Darcy an incredulous look. Darcy glanced at him and said, “What? You have a nice butt and they’d look great in bedazzled spandex.”

     Their waitress chose that moment to come back with their desserts, saving Clint from having to address that particular comment for the moment. Steve smiled to himself as Bucky poured the shot of espresso over their dessert. Clint looked back over at Darcy and asked, “Do you often think about your friends in bedazzled spandex pants?”

     “More often than you’d think.” Loki said, shoving his spoon into his sundae with a small smile.

     “So do you.” Darcy countered, raising an eyebrow at her boyfriend.

     Loki looked over at her, spoon sticking out of his mouth, and raised an eyebrow. He pulled it out, swallowed his ice cream, and said “Never claimed that I didn’t.”

     Steve shook his head and said, “It’s not the weirdest thing she’s thought of, Clint. I swear.”

     Clint looked over at Bucky and said, “You don’t, do you? Please say you don’t, I need at least one normal friend.”

     “Do what?” Bucky asked, looking up from his ice cream.

     “Imagine what Clint’s butt looks like in bedazzled spandex.” Steve said, shaking his head.

     Bucky looked over at Clint, confused, and said, “Clint, I’ve literally had my dick in your ass; I don’t need to imagine anything.”

     Steve snorted at Clint’s betrayed look and Darcy’s excited squeak. Phil quietly sipped his milkshake and watched as Darcy leaned forward and asked, “You two? Really?”

     Bucky glanced at Phil and said, “As weird as it may sound, it was completely platonic.”

     Phil took a sip of his milkshake and said, “It doesn’t sound as weird as you may think.”

     “Let’s not talk about sex anymore.” Steve said, rolling his eyes.

     “What would you like to talk about then?” Darcy asked, raising an eyebrow.

     “How about Scott and Kim’s competitions on the 28th?” Steve suggested, shrugging. He took a bite of his sundae and looked around the table.

     “What’re Kimmy’s events?” Clint asked, perking up.

     “Balance beam and a floor routine from artistic, ribbon from rhythmic, and a tumbling routine.” Bucky replied.

     Darcy looked over at Clint and asked, “Do I want to know how you know what any of that is?”

     Clint shrugged and said, “I did gymnastics growing up.”

     Darcy perked up and Steve said, “Don’t even think about it, Darcy.” She pouted and he looked over at Clint. “That’s pretty cool. What was your favorite event?”

     “I liked the pommel horse and the uneven bars.” Clint said, smiling slightly. “I still kind of keep up with training but not as much as I’d like.” Steve nodded and took a few bites of the espresso soaked cake at the bottom of the dish.

     Loki looked between them and asked, “Not to sound dim but, who’re Scott and Kim?”

     “My niece and nephew.” Bucky said, smiling slightly.

     “Ah.” Loki nodded. “What does Scott do?”

     “Karate and a couple other types of martial arts.” Bucky said, his smile morphing into a full-blown grin. “He’s been training really hard and is really looking forward to this. Plus, it’ll be the first one I can attend since reconnecting with my sister.”

     Loki smiled kindly and said, “That’s great. I’m sure he’s looking forward to you being there.”

     Steve looked down and smiled to himself as he ate. Bucky nodded and said, “It’ll be interesting, that’s for sure.”

     Phil finished off his milkshake and, pushing aside the glass, said, “I think I’m ready to call it a night. You ready, Clint?”

     Clint nodded and, after he finished off his float, said, “Yeah.”

     Phil flagged down their waitress to get their bills as Steve and Bucky finished off the last few bites of their sundae. Loki said, “You guys go ahead, I’ve got it.”

     Bucky looked over at him. “You sure?”

     “Yeah, go on. I’m sure you guys are really sore anyway.” Loki said, smiling slightly.

     Steve, Bucky, Clint, and Phil all stood and Steve said, “Thanks, Loki. We’ll see you around, yeah?”

     “Of course.” Loki said, nodding slightly.

     The four of them headed out of the ice cream shop together then parted ways at the door to head to their respective vehicles. Steve put his helmet back on and slid on behind Bucky as he put his own helmet on. Bucky looked back at him and asked, “You ready?”

     “Yep.” Steve said, sliding his arms around Bucky’s waist. He pressed a kiss to Bucky’s shoulder and said, “I’m ready to get back home and get you in bed.”

     Bucky groaned and started the Shadow. He pulled out onto the road and said, “That is so not fair, Stevie.”

     Steve smiled and tucked his face against Bucky’s back. He let his hands drift down to rest on his boyfriend’s thighs. He was surprised to find that Bucky’s thighs were trembling slightly. Frowning, he let his hands rest there until they parked in front of Steve’s building. Once Bucky had killed the engine, Steve slid off and, keeping a hand on Bucky’s thigh, asked, “Is everything okay?”

     Bucky pulled off his helmet and said, “Yeah. My ass just hurts like hell right now.” He glanced down at Steve’s hand and said, “Which is why you probably felt my thighs trembling while driving.”

     Pulling his hand back, Steve said, “Ah. Okay.” He pulled his helmet off and said, “I was just concerned.”

     “It’s alright, darling.” Bucky said, smiling and getting off the Shadow. He wrapped an arm around Steve’s shoulders and said, “Come on, I do believe you owe me a few kisses when we get upstairs.”

     Steve tucked his hand in Bucky’s back pocket and said, “I think it’ll be more than a few kisses, babe.”

     Bucky looked over at him, surprised, and said, “Yeah?”

     “Yeah.” Steve looked up at him and shot him a sly smile. Bucky smiled back at him as they headed into the building. The walk up to Steve’s apartment was uneventful. When they opened the door, Monty and Nyota ran towards them, meowing plaintively. Shutting the door behind them, Steve sighed and gently pushed Bucky towards the bedroom. “Go, get ready for bed. I’ll deal with these two.”

     Bucky pressed a kiss to his temple and said, “I’ll be waiting.”

     Steve hummed softly and picked Nyota up as Bucky walked back towards the bedroom. He scratched under her chin and said, “We weren’t gone that long.”

     Nyota meowed and butted her head against his chin. Steve smiled slightly and set her down before refilling their food and water bowls. Once he was sure that they were taken care of, he locked the front door then headed back to the bedroom. Slipping off his jacket, he said, “Sorry about that, they ate all their foo-” Steve blinked and stared at his boyfriend. Bucky lay stretched out on his stomach, head at one corner and his feet at another, and wore nothing but a pair of dark blue lace panties. He glanced back at Steve and shot his boyfriend a shy smile.

     “You okay there, Stevie?”

     “You...you are going to give me a heart attack one of these days.” Steve said with a smile. He finished taking off his jacket and kicked off his shoes.

     Bucky rolled on his side and, propping his head up with his hand, said, “Just like one of these days you’re going to kill me with innuendos.”

     Steve pulled his shirt off and tossed it in the hamper. He turned back towards his boyfriend and asked, “How’s your ass feeling?”

     “Still a little sore. I’ll probably have a bruise in the morning.” Bucky said, raising an eyebrow.

     “You take an Advil or something for it?” Steve asked, walking over to the bed and crawling up to his boyfriend.

     Bucky nodded and, looking up at Steve, said, “Yeah.”

     “Good.” Steve murmured, running his fingers through Bucky’s hair. Bucky closed his eyes and leaned into Steve’s hand. Steve smirked and whispered, “You know, I would be mad about the fact that you kept our friends from hitting me today but I’m also glad that I’m not covered with bruises right now.”

     Bucky cracked an eye open and said, “I thought we talked about this.”

     “We did.” Steve raked his fingers through Bucky’s hair again, a touch rougher this time. “And I understand it. But that doesn’t mean it didn’t kind of piss me off at the time.” He stared down at his boyfriend and added, “The only reason why I didn’t make a bigger deal out of it is because I know you didn’t mean anything bad by it.”

     Bucky sighed and leaned his forehead against Steve’s stomach. “Is that why you shot me in the ass instead of in the back, where I had padding?”

     “Yeah.” Steve played with Bucky’s hair and added, “I should’ve warned you that I can be a vindictive little shit sometimes.”

     Bucky tilted his head and looked back up at Steve. “To be fair, I did kind of deserve it.”

     Steve shifted and gently shoved Bucky’s shoulder so he was lying on his stomach again. He traced along his spine and asked, “How do you figure?”

     Bucky rested his head on his arms and said, “I could tell that what I was doing was annoying you. The double checking your gear and stuff. But I did it anyway.”

     Steve hummed softly and shifted so that he was sitting beside Bucky’s hip. Leaning over, he pressed a kiss to the nape of his neck and murmured, “I still shouldn’t’ve shot you in the ass.”

     “Mmm, kiss me a few more times and I’ll forgive you.” Bucky joked, smiling.

     Steve pressed a few more kisses along his boyfriend’s spine. He trailed kisses along the waistband of Bucky’s panties and, between them, asked, “Have you been wearing these all day?”

     Bucky shook his head and murmured, “Nah. I just put them on. I was wearing regular boxer-briefs today.”

     Steve hummed softly and continued to press kisses up and down Bucky’s spine until his boyfriend started to squirm. He straightened up and lightly ran a hand over Bucky’s ass, careful of the small bruise that had formed. “Maybe riding the bike wasn’t such a great idea after all.”

     “It’s fine. It actually doesn’t hurt all that much.” Bucky said with a small huff.

     “If you’re sure.” Steve murmured before he leaned over and pressed a feather-light kiss to the bruise.

     With a soft groan, Bucky buried his face in his arms. “You’re too good at teasing me, Stevie.” Steve smirked and gently nipped at the bruise before pulling away. Bucky looked over at him then rolled on to his back. He grabbed Steve’s belt loop and, tugging gently, said, “C’mere.”

     Steve raised an eyebrow but shuffled over to Bucky willingly. He allowed his boyfriend to manhandle him on top of him and raised an eyebrow when Bucky slipped his hands into Steve’s back pockets. He cocked his head to the side and asked, “Feeling a little randy, dear?”

     Bucky snorted and, canting his hips upwards, said, “Just a bit, darling.”

     Leaning down, Steve kissed Bucky. He waited until Bucky had started to kiss him back before he pulled away. He didn’t go far though. Keeping his lips a hair’s breadth away from Bucky’s, he asked, “What would you like to do, Buck?”

     “Is it too soon to say I want you to fuck me?” Bucky asked.

     Steve pulled away a little more and looked down at his boyfriend. After a beat, he asked, “Would you be offended if I said that it was a little soon?”

     “Nope. If it’s how you feel, it’s how you feel, darling.” Bucky said, smiling gently.

     Steve nodded and pressed a kiss to the corner of Bucky’s mouth. He pulled back a little again and said, “Ask me again on my birthday, okay?”

     Bucky nodded and said, “Alright.” He shifted into a more comfortable position and asked, “Any other ideas?”

     Steve hummed softly and kissed along Bucky’s jaw. “I’ve got a few.”

     Bucky sighed contently and, running his fingers through Steve’s hair, tilted his head to the side to allow Steve better access to his neck. “Care to share?”

     “Depends.” Steve nipped at the join between Bucky’s neck and shoulder.

     A sharp inhale then, “On what?”

     “If you feel like I can be a bit rough with you tonight.” Steve said, resting his forehead against Bucky’s shoulder.

     “Rough how?” Bucky asked, turning his head to look at Steve.

     Steve tilted his head to look over at him. “I want to fuck your mouth.”

     Bucky blinked and, grinning brightly, said, “Hell yes.”

     “Yeah?” Steve said, smiling slightly.

     Bucky nodded and Steve climbed off the bed. Bucky followed him and asked, “How do you want me, mon chéri?”

     “On your knees.” Steve replied, watching Bucky with a small smile. Bucky carefully dropped to his knees and shifted until he was in a comfortable position. Steve ran his fingers through Bucky’s hair and murmured, “You’re so gorgeous like this.”

     Cocking an eyebrow, Bucky looked up at Steve and said, “Pretty sure I’m gorgeous all the time, darling.”

     Steve snorted. “That’s beside the point.” Humming noncommittally, Bucky reached up and undid Steve’s jeans. Shoving them aside, he leaned forward to mouth at Steve’s erection through his boxer-briefs. Steve inhaled sharply and, gripping Bucky’s hair, said, “Somebody’s excited.”

     “That’s an understatement.” Bucky murmured, nuzzling Steve’s cock. “I’ve been thinking about you fucking my throat since the first time I gave you a blow job.”

     Steve let go of Bucky’s hair and shoved his jeans and boxers down his legs. They pooled at his feet and he stepped out of them. If Buck really wanted this, then he better get to it. No use drawing it out any more.

     Bucky grinned and, gripping Steve’s hips, pressed kisses along Steve’s length. Steve groaned and ran his fingers through Bucky’s hair again. The short strands didn’t give him much of a hold, not that he minded. His boyfriend swallowed him in one go, causing Steve to curse under his breath. He closed his eyes and, resting his other hand on Bucky’s shoulder, let his hips jerk forward. Bucky moaned around him and pulled Steve’s hips even further forward. Steve tilted his head back and continued to thrust into his boyfriend’s mouth. The muffled moans Bucky let out sent vibrations through his dick that went straight up his spine and caused him to shiver.

     At one point, Bucky removed one of his hands from Steve’s hips but Steve was too far gone to really notice. Steve felt his hips start to stutter and he knew it wouldn’t be long. He cracked his eyes open to see Bucky stroking himself as Steve fucked his mouth. His breath hitched and Bucky glanced up at him, concerned. Steve stared down at him and opened his mouth to warn his boyfriend that he was going to cum. Bucky didn’t let him get it out, though. With an impish twinkle in his eyes, he buried his nose in the sparse curls at the base of Steve’s dick. Steve choked on a moan and gasped his boyfriend’s name as he came down the back of Bucky’s throat.

     Bucky swallowed dutifully before pulling off Steve and looking up at him fully. Steve collapsed against Bucky and slide down to straddle his knees. Bucky wrapped his arms around Steve’s waist and pressed a kiss to his collarbone. Steve took a couple seconds to gather himself before he kissed Bucky harshly, their teeth clacking at one point. Bucky let out a squeak of surprise and shifted backwards off of his knees. When Steve moved to kiss along his jaw, he said, “What-”

     But Steve cut him off with a sharp bite to his lower lip. Bucky gasped and Steve slid his tongue into Bucky’s mouth. It was odd, tasting himself in Bucky’s mouth, but he didn’t much care at the moment. In that moment, he didn’t care much about anything besides getting Bucky off. Which, it seemed, Bucky had caught on to. He guided Steve’s hand down between the two of them and Steve wrapped his fingers around Bucky’s length. He stroked his boyfriend in time with their kisses and, not long after, Bucky let his head thunk against the floor with a groan as he came. Steve lay there, panting, for a moment. He reached up and grabbed the baby wipes out of the nightstand and quickly cleaned them up.

     Bucky rolled them over and stood up, leaving Steve on the floor. He slipped out of his panties before reaching down and hauling Steve up off the floor. Steve allowed himself to be manhandled into bed but pulled Bucky into bed with him when he tried to head over to the dresser. Bucky crawled into bed with Steve and said, “You know I’m fine sleeping naked but don’t you want pajamas or something?”

     “Fuck pajamas.” Steve mumbled, taking his glasses and hearing aids out.

     Bucky snorted and wrapped an arm around Steve’s waist, hauling him back against him. He pressed a kiss to Steve’s shoulder and said, “G’night, Stevie.”

     “G’night, Buck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, shoutout to my lovely beta [Laura](http://spookyookykitty.tumblr.com/); she's pretty awesome and I couldn't've gotten this far without her.


	23. Concrete Angels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky shuffled towards him and wrapped his arms gently around Steve’s waist. Closing his eyes, Steve sighed softly and pressed back against him. Bucky leaned forward to press a kiss to Steve’s temple and tightened his hold on him slightly. A moment’s hesitation then Steve melted into Bucky’s embrace. He brought a hand up to rest on Bucky’s forearm and let his head fall back against Bucky’s shoulder. They stood there in the relative peace and quiet of their bedroom as the mid-morning sun danced across the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #  **PLEASE READ:**
> 
> So, new chapter's finally here! Not sure when the next one's going to be out because I...well....I haven't even started it and I kind of want to get a feel for how this chapter is being received before I write the next one. Like, if y'all are all bawling your eyes out by the end of it and cursing me then the next chapter's gonna be really fluffy. If you're all like meh, it wasn't that bad, then I may put out another chapter that's a bit more emotional.
> 
> Also, as a heads up, there is discussion of the way Steve and Bucky's mothers died. I don't get into real graphic detail but it is a topic that is touched on and that may cause certain readers discomfort.
> 
> I thrive on feedback, y'all. Even if it's something as simple as "I really liked this particular part of this chapter because of xyz" or "I wasn't too fond of this part because of zyx" or even just key smashing works. And of course if you see any mistakes that I didn't catch, please feel free to point them out. I'm not going to get better if I don't get told, politely, where and how I messed up.
> 
> Edit July 4, 2016: I edited out that final scene with the dream thing. Mostly because I was planning on doing it anyway but also because y'all kept sending me messages on tumblr complaining about it (like, guys, I knew it was shoehorned in; y'all don't have to send me 6-ask long messages on anon telling me that I'm a terrible writer because I added something that helped me work through my anger about my favorite character being turned into a Nazi). The dream thing is in the end notes if you want to read it.

     Steve rolled over on to his back and watched Bucky move around the bedroom, a towel slung low on his hips. The week since Darcy and Clint’s joint birthday party had been hectic and Steve was glad that it was Monday again. Sure, he was in for a bit of an emotional roller coaster today but at least he was able to spend it with Bucky. He shifted and asked, “How was your run?”

     Bucky sat down on the edge of the bed and signed _, It was fine. How are you feeling?_

     “I’m okay. A little apprehensive about heading out to the cemeteries today.” Steve admitted, tilting his head to the side.

     Looking down, Bucky signed _, So am I._

     “Is there a particular reason you’re signing today?”

     _I don’t feel like shouting so you can hear me._

     Steve hummed softly and, looking up at the ceiling, took a deep breath. It made sense. There was no use in yelling when one could just sign what they needed to say. He felt the bed shift and glanced over at his boyfriend. Bucky crawled up the bed towards him and Steve raised an eyebrow at him. Bucky grinned and leaned over to press a kiss to Steve’s rib cage. Steve reached down and ran his fingers through Bucky’s hair with a smile.

     Bucky trailed kisses up Steve’s ribs and paused to mouth at his nipple ring. Steve squirmed under Bucky’s attention and giggled softly. Bucky hummed and pressed a kiss to Steve’s lips, which Steve gladly returned. He wrapped his arms around Bucky’s shoulders and pulled his boyfriend down on top of himself. Bucky made a small noise of protest but allowed Steve to pull him down.

     They continued to lazily make out for a few minutes. Steve had just slipped his hand down the back of Bucky’s shorts when something furry brushed against his arm. He yanked his hand back as if he’d been burned and looked around. Bucky huffed and looked over to his right. Nyota meowed and batted Bucky’s arm while Monty tried to wiggle his way in between Steve and Bucky’s chests.

     Sitting up, Bucky sighed and shot the cats a half-hearted glare. Steve snorted and said, “She’s probably just hungry. Go take care of their food, she’ll be a butt if you don’t. I’m going to get a shower and get dressed.”

     Bucky nodded and climbed off of Steve and the bed. As he headed out of the bedroom, Steve sighed and sat up. Stretching his arms as far above his head as he could, he sighed contently as his spine shifted and popped. Once he was satisfied, he let his arms drop by his side and climbed out of bed. He headed to the bathroom and took care of his morning routine.

     Looking in the mirror, he rubbed his chin and wondered if he should shave the five o’clock shadow that was starting to come in. After a moment of just staring at himself in the mirror, he decided not to shave. Might as well let it come in and see if it was any better than the patchy shit that had come in when he was in high school. He headed back into the kitchen to get something to eat before he took his pills.

     As he walked into the kitchen, Bucky handed him a bowl of savory oatmeal with a soft-cooked egg on top. Steve shot his boyfriend a smile to convey his thanks and dug in. They leaned against the counter and ate together in silence. Steve loved moments like this. Sure, running around the city with Bucky was great and hanging out with their friends was fun but this was the moments he knew he’d treasure the most once Bucky was back overseas. The quiet comfort of sharing a meal with someone you love was something Steve had sorely missed since he and Peggy ended their relationship. He had Natasha and Sam but it was different with them. Not in a bad way but there was a distinct difference that he couldn’t quite find the right words to explain. With Natasha and Sam, it was moonlight and stargazing on a chilly September night. He felt protected and loved and a bit vulnerable at times but not like he was laid bare before them. There was a layer of protection between himself and his best friends. The comfort with Bucky was sunshine and a warm, gentle breeze coming off the ocean. He didn’t need to say anything, or do anything, and, for at least the duration of the meal, he could just...be. It was a breath of fresh air and every other breath he took was a sigh of relief.

     Steve set his empty bowl in the sink and headed back to the bathroom to take his pills. He wondered, certainly not for the first time, what his mother would have thought of Bucky. Sure, she’d mother him because she did have a habit of unofficially adopting Steve’s friends. But would she have liked him? Would she have approved of their relationship? What would she have wanted for her son? There were times that Steve wished she’d written everything she’d wanted to say to him down somewhere. Or maybe made a video for him to watch at certain points in his life. He tossed back his pills and stared at the ceiling for a beat. It wasn’t like she hadn’t had the time. They’d known far enough in advance for her to have written something down.

     Steve pushed aside that train of thought and headed back into his bedroom. He pulled out his clothes for the day and slowly dressed. Surely his mother would be happy for him. All she ever wanted was for him to be happy and Bucky made him happy. Though, Sarah Rogers had always been protective of him. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Fuck, he hated this. He hated not being able to just ask his mother something. A phantom knot tightened in his chest and a cold, sick feeling settled heavily in his stomach as he buttoned his shirt. It had been 8 years and he still didn’t quite believe how much it hurt sometimes to think of his mother. Of her smile or the sound of her laugh.

     He closed his eyes and started to work through the onslaught of emotions that were welling up. After a few moments, he opened his eyes and looked over at the doorway. Bucky stood there, watching him cautiously.

     _Are you okay?_

     “Yeah, I was just thinking about Ma.” Steve said. He looked away and finished zipping up his slacks.

     Bucky shuffled towards him and wrapped his arms gently around Steve’s waist. Closing his eyes, Steve sighed softly and pressed back against him. Bucky leaned forward to press a kiss to Steve’s temple and tightened his hold on him slightly. A moment’s hesitation then Steve melted into Bucky’s embrace. He brought a hand up to rest on Bucky’s forearm and let his head fall back against Bucky’s shoulder. They stood there in the relative peace and quiet of their bedroom as the mid-morning sun danced across the floor.

     Bit by bit, the knot in Steve’s chest loosened and the sickly feeling in his stomach was replaced with warmth. He sighed again and pulled away himself from Bucky. As much as he wanted to just stay in his boyfriend’s arms and hide from the world for the day, they really needed to get going. Standing there wasn’t doing either of them any good, even if he really did need that hug. He turned back to look at his boyfriend and, with a small smile, said, “Get ready, Buck. We should get going soon.”

     Bucky nodded. He leaned forward and pressed another gentle kiss to Steve’s temple then moved away to stand in front of the closet. Steve turned and grabbed his hearing aids and glasses off of his nightstand. He put them on then headed out to the foyer to wait for Bucky.

     Steve didn’t have to wait long. About five minutes later, Bucky walked through the bedroom door. Steve blinked. Bucky finished rolling up his sleeves and looked up at Steve. He smiled slightly and said, “Alright. Who’s first?”

     “Let’s go to yours first since it’s a little further away.” Steve said, smiling slightly. Bucky nodded and grabbed his keys from their place beside Steve’s.

     The ride over to The Evergreens Cemetery was uneventful. Steve watched the city fly by as Bucky weaved through traffic with ease. It wasn’t long before they were pulling into a parking spot next to another motorcycle. Steve slipped off of the seat and pulled off his helmet. Bucky followed suit and, after he’d taken off his helmet, locked up the bike. He pocketed his keys and looked over at the cemetery.

      Steve slipped his hand into Bucky’s and laced their fingers together. “You ready?”

      “Yeah.” Bucky murmured, squeezing Steve’s hand slightly.

      Steve nodded and allowed Bucky to lead him through the cemetery. There were a few tourists milling around, looking for the more famous gravesites or on a tour given by the staff. They bypassed them and headed further into the cemetery. Steve wasn’t exactly sure where they were going but Bucky seemed confident in where they were going. Which, you know, made sense since it was his parents that were buried here. Steve looked around as they strolled along the winding paths.

     A light breeze filtered through the trees and a bird chirped somewhere in the distance. Steve glanced over at Bucky and said, “It’s rather pretty here.”

     “It used to be a park as well as a cemetery.” Bucky said, stepping off the path and on to the grass.

     Steve hummed softly and looked at the names on the headstones that they passed. Bucky was quiet as they walked down the row. After a while, he slowed to a stop and Steve could see the names written on the headstone in front of them.

_George M. Barnes        Winifred C. Barnes_

_04/23/1964-05/18/1991   09/16/1964-02/22/2009_

     Bucky shifted slightly and quietly said, “Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad.” The corner of his mouth quirked up in a half-smile. “I know it’s shocking that I’m back this soon but I wanted you to meet someone. I mentioned him last time.” He swallowed and looked down. “This is Steve. My boyfriend.”

     Steve leaned against Bucky and, looking down at the headstone, said, “Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Barnes. It’s nice to finally meet you. Bucky’s told me a bit about you guys but not much.” He glanced up at his boyfriend. “He’s a good man. Though, I don’t think he hears that often enough.”

     Bucky snorted and shook his head, tears welling up in his eyes. “See? Told you he was a sap.” Bucky let go of Steve’s hand and wrapped it around his shoulders.

     Steve smiled slightly and wrapped his arm around Bucky’s waist. Looking back down at the headstone, he added, “I promise to take good care of him.” A crooked smile. “If I don’t, I’m sure your daughter will have something to say about it.”

     Another snort. “Damn straight she will.”

     Steve pinched Bucky’s side. “My point is. I love your son, Mr. and Mrs. Barnes. Very much. Most would think that coming here to talk to a headstone is…well...more than a little weird.” Bucky tensed slightly and Steve stroked his hand up and down his boyfriend’s side. “But I understand. My parents are buried over at Holy Cross and this...this helps. And I’m glad I could be here today.”

     Bucky relaxed and pressed a kiss to Steve’s temple before he cleared his throat and said, “Told ya he was a keeper, Ma. I know you would just love him to bits. Just like I do.”

     Steve rested his head on Bucky’s shoulder and listened as his boyfriend talked to his parents. He interjected a few times but mostly just stood there, wrapped up under Bucky’s arm, and was the supportive boyfriend. After about ten minutes, Bucky cleared his throat again and pulled away from Steve. Steve watched him as he squatted in front of the headstone and said, “I think it’s time for us to head over to Holy Cross, but I’ll come back again sometime next month. Promise.” He reached out and traced the carving of his parents’ names and added, “It was good to see you two again. I’ll try to stop in more often now that I’m home for more than a couple weeks.” He stood and took Steve’s hand. “Bye, Ma. Bye, Dad.

     “Goodbye, Mrs. Barnes. Mr. Barnes.” Steve murmured, rubbing his thumb along Bucky’s hand. Bucky took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again, he turned and lead Steve back out of the cemetery. Steve followed, still rubbing his thumb against Bucky’s hand.

     When they reached the motorcycle, Bucky paused and pinched the bridge of his nose. Steve shifted to stand in front of his boyfriend and asked, “Need a moment?”

     Bucky nodded silently and Steve gently pulled him into a hug. Bucky wrapped his arms around Steve and tucked his face against Steve’s neck. Steve ran his fingers through Bucky’s hair and murmured words of comfort in his ear while Bucky just breathed him in. They stood there for a few minutes. Once Bucky had collected himself, he pulled away and cleared his throat. “Sorry, Stevie.”

     Steve smiled gently. “No need to apologize, Buck. I understand.”

     Bucky nodded and cleared his throat again. “So. Holy Cross, yeah?”

     Steve nodded. Before he could ask Bucky if he was sure he was alright, Bucky had taken the lock off the bike, stowed it away, put his helmet on, and climbed on. Steve eyed him cautiously for a beat then pulled his own helmet on and climbed on behind him. He wrapped his arms around Bucky’s waist as his boyfriend checked that it was clear to pull into traffic.

     The drive over to Holy Cross flew by and, before Steve even realized they were there, Bucky was pulling into the entrance. Steve motioned for Bucky to pull over just inside the entrance. Once they were parked, Steve explained where Bucky was going to have to drive to. Bucky nodded and followed the directions that Steve had just given him. Steve glanced around as they slowly drove through the cemetery. There were a few other cars there but not very many.

     Bucky pulled over when Steve tapped his side. After Bucky killed the engine, they both dismounted and pulled their helmets off. Bucky locked the bike up again while Steve looked around. It had been a while since he’d visited but not much had changed. There were still rows and rows of headstones, though it looked like there were a few fresh plots across the way. Bucky nudged his side and Steve looked up at him. “You alright, Stevie?”

      “Yeah, just…” He waved his hand towards the fresh plots. “Noticing the new ones.”

      Bucky nodded solemnly then looked around. “Which way to your parents?”

      Steve smiled slightly and, slipping his hand in Bucky’s, led his boyfriend towards his parents’ graves. They walked in silence, Bucky slowly rubbing his thumb along Steve’s. Steve smiled to himself. He thought he’d feel more nervous once they were here. But instead, he just felt calm. Like he had this morning as they ate breakfast. He slowed to a stop in front of his parents’ headstone and glanced around before sitting down. Bucky smiled to himself and followed suit. Steve just stared at the headstone for a moment, re-reading what he already knew was there.

_Joseph Francis Rogers        Sarah Anne Rogers_

_10/10/1963-05/18/1991   05/18/1960-06/05/2006_

     He took a deep breath. “Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad. I told you I’d make it out here again.” Steve smiled crookedly. “I brought someone with me this time. His name’s Bucky.” Steve shot his boyfriend an amused look. “Well...technically-”

     Bucky snorted and said, “Technically it’s James Buchanan Barnes, but I prefer Bucky.”

     Steve nodded. “And, well, he’s my boyfriend.” Steve fidgeted with his sleeve and added, “He’s a soldier and actually, Dad, we’re pretty sure you knew his dad.”

     “That’s right. You were both in the same battalion and died in the same attack.” Bucky said, rubbing the back of his neck.

      Steve smiled to himself. “Buck’s on leave for a while and staying with me. We’ve hung out with his sister, Becca, a lot as well as her kids, Scott and Kim. I know I’ve mentioned them before. They’re adorable and you guys would love them.” Steve glanced at Bucky. “It’s been...interesting to say the least. From what I know, Sam and Nat’ve grilled him pretty hard before he even got here.”

      “Natasha gives one hell of a shovel talk, Mrs. Rogers.” Bucky said, smiling slightly.

      Steve looked at his parents’ headstone and sat quietly for a few beats. He swallowed and softly said, “It’s been really hard, lately, Mom. I miss being able to talk to you. Some days I still pick up my phone and I’m half-way through dialing your number before I remember that you’re gone.” Steve looked down as tears pricked at his eyes. “Part of me does truly believe that you’re still with me and your spirit can hear me but the other part of me struggles with the fact that I can’t really know if what I believe is real.”

     Bucky wrapped an arm around Steve’s shoulders and pressed a kiss to Steve’s temple. Steve closed his eyes as a few tears slipped down his cheeks and muttered, “Fuck, I told myself I wasn’t going to cry today.”

     “It’s okay, Stevie, no one’s judging you.” Bucky murmured, rubbing his back.

     Steve leaned against Bucky and wiped at his eyes. “I know. It’s more like I’m judging myself right now.”

     Bucky nudged Steve’s temple with his forehead and said, “You know you really need to stop doing that.”

     Steve chuckled wetly. “Yeah, yeah.” He gently elbowed Bucky’s side and, turning his attention back to his parents, added, “As you can see, this dork does take pretty good care of me.”

     “And Steve takes really good care of me. He sent me a package with so much stuff that I swear it must’ve cost like 900 dollars to ship.” Bucky teased, smirking.

     “It wasn’t quite that much.” Steve said, blushing and wiping at his eyes. “Oh. Yeah, I also got the quilt you gave me finished finally. Buck needed a new one and I figured that you wouldn’t mind him using mine for a while.”

     “It’s back in my barracks right now, with the rest of my things. I told Stevie that I’d give it back to him as soon as I could.” Bucky shrugged. “I know he says that you wouldn’t mind but it just didn’t feel right for me to keep it permanently.”

     Steve leaned against Bucky and wiped at the tears that were still falling down his cheeks. Bucky seemed to sense that Steve really wasn’t up for talking at the moment so he started telling Steve’s parents about his family. Mostly about Rebecca and the twins. Steve closed his eyes and listened to Bucky’s voice as he talked. His chest hurt, but not in the way that it did for an asthma attack. It was more like the dull ache he’d come to associate with any time he really started missing his mom. God, he really hated this. Wasn’t time supposed to heal all wounds? It’d been almost nine years since his mom died, shouldn’t it have gotten easier by now?

     After pulling himself together, Steve cleared his throat and quietly filled his parents in on what was going on with the rest of his friends. He told them about what was going on with the shop and how he was thinking of expanding. He told them about the plans for his birthday and how much he was looking forward to it this year. After that, he wasn’t quite sure what he talked about but he knew he’d started crying again. He was thankful that Bucky hadn’t said anything or tried to get him to stop; he’d just rubbed his back and let him talk to his parents.

     After about twenty minutes, he was all talked out and his throat felt more than a little raw. He cleared his throat and said, “I...I think that’s all we have time for today, guys. But we’ll come back and visit again before Bucky has to go back overseas.”

     They stood up and Steve brushed off his pants. Bucky shifted from foot to foot and said, “I’ll be sure to take care of Steve while I’m here, Mr. and Mrs. Rogers. Your son means a lot to me, more than I think he’ll ever really realize.”

     Steve smiled weakly and wrapped his arm around Bucky’s waist. Bucky wrapped an arm around Steve’s shoulders and allowed Steve to steer him back towards the bike. Steve looked around and murmured, “I don’t think I want to go to Loki’s concert tonight.”

     “That’s fine, Stevie. I don’t think I’m going to feel up to it either.” Bucky pulled away from Steve to unlock the bike. “Today was a lot more draining than I thought it would be.”

     “That’s for damn sure.” Steve said, wiping his eyes.

     Bucky straightened up and stowed the lock away. He turned to look at Steve and said, “Thank you for bringing me here today.”

     Steve smiled tiredly. “Thanks for coming with me. And for bringing me with you to meet your parents.”

     Bucky nodded then leaned over and pressed a kiss to Steve’s forehead. “C’mon Stevie, let’s get home and curled up with the cats. We can watch a movie or listen to music or something.”

     “That sounds great.” Steve said, grabbing his helmet.

     They both put their helmets on and mounted the bike. Steve wrapped his arms around Bucky’s waist and closed his eyes as Bucky pulled on to the road again. The ride home was shorter than it should have been and Steve had the feeling that Bucky broke a few traffic laws to get them back to the apartment as soon as possible. Normally he would have complained but he didn’t have it in him this time around.

     Steve dragged himself up the stairs behind Bucky and watched his feet. Bucky unlocked the door for them and they headed back inside. Nyota and Monty padded in from the living room, meowing loudly. Steve smiled sadly and headed into the kitchen to check on their food while Bucky locked the door.

     After refilling their bowls of water and dry food, Steve straightened up and looked over at his boyfriend. Bucky leaned against the wall as he untied his shoes. Steve frowned and watched his soldier’s hands tremble slightly as he undid the laces. Bucky finally got his shoes off and straightened up. Steve studied his boyfriend for a beat before he walked over to him. Bucky raised an eyebrow and let Steve pull him down for a gentle kiss.

     Pulling away, Steve jerked his head towards the bedroom. “Let’s go back to bed.”

     Bucky nodded and wrapped an arm around Steve’s shoulders as they shuffled towards the bedroom. Steve pulled up a 40s radio station on his phone and set it in its docking station that doubled as a speaker system. He and Bucky quickly changed back into more comfortable clothes before they crawled back into bed together. After setting his glasses on the nightstand, Steve pulled Bucky into a hug and tangled their legs together. Bucky sighed softly and tucked his head against Steve’s chest.

     They both lost track of time, just listening to the soft crooning of long-gone artists and drawing comfort from being close to one another. All of the songs seemed to blend together when they were played at a low enough volume so Steve wasn’t sure how long they had laid there before Bucky asked, “How did your mom die?”

     “ALS.” Steve murmured, closing his eyes.

     “Jesus Christ.” Bucky said, pulling away slightly to look up at Steve.

     Steve cracked an eye open and looked at Bucky. “What about your mom?”

     Bucky’s eyes clouded over and his expression darkened. He looked down and softly replied, “She was a bystander in a drive by. Stray bullet through the head.”

     “Fucking hell.” Steve said, both of his eyes opening to stare down at his boyfriend.

     Bucky glanced up at Steve and said, “I was on a mission with Clint when my commanding officer was notified. Our extraction date was the day before the funeral.” Bucky sighed and rolled over on to his back. Staring up at the ceiling, he continued, “I went straight from Tajikistan to JFK then from JFK to the viewing. Becca almost scratched my eyes out when she saw me.”

     “I thought you said you hadn’t seen your sister since you graduated.” Steve murmured, running his fingers through Bucky’s hair.

     Bucky closed his eyes. “I try not to remember that particular interaction. There was...Rebecca said a lot of things that hurt while she was grieving.” Bucky cleared his throat and said, hoarsely, “She blamed me for Ma’s death since Ma had been on her way home from mailing me a package when she got shot.”

     “Fuck. I’m sorry, Buck.”

     “Thanks.” Bucky tilted his head to look at Steve. “Becca and I worked it out. She apologized like the day after I reconnected with her. I really don’t blame her for what she said; even at the time, I knew it was the grief talking and not that she really did blame me.”

     Steve nodded and cupped Bucky’s cheek. “It still sucks that she said those things, whatever they were.”

     “What hurt even worse was getting Ma’s package.” Bucky said, leaning into Steve’s hand. He looked over at Steve and admitted, “I swear, I cried for a good hour before I’d even opened it.”

     Steve nodded and swiped his thumb across Bucky’s cheek. “I spent the last couple months of Mom’s life in a pretty much perpetual state of crying or about to cry.”

     “How long did she have it?” Bucky asked, shifting them so that Steve’s head was resting on his chest.

     “The doctor originally said she should live for about three to five years after she was diagnosed.” Steve said, lightly tracing Bucky’s tattoo with his fingertips. “She died after two.”

     “That had to have been hard.” Bucky murmured then pressed a kiss to the crown of Steve’s head.

     Steve hummed softly and blinked as tears welled up in his eyes. He cleared his throat and mumbled, “It was. I tried to handle everything myself the first year but then Tony found out that we were struggling financially and, well, you’ve met Tony.”

     Bucky snorted. “Bet that went over well with 19-year-old you.”

     “I socked him and then didn’t talk to him for about a month until Ma sat me down and told me to swallow my pride and accept his help.” Steve smiled sadly. “She hated what her being so sick did to me and knew that I was too proud to ask for support from Natasha and Sam let alone ask for financial help from Tony.”

     “I’m sorry, pisoiul meu.” Bucky said, running his fingers through Steve’s hair.

     Steve felt a few tears leak out of the corner of his eyes and he wiped them away. Closing his eyes, he murmured, “I never told Nat or Sam this but, there were times where I legitimately hated my mother for getting sick. I knew it wasn’t her fault and that there was nothing that we could do but…”

     “Sometimes you can’t help how you feel.” Bucky said, running his fingers through Steve’s hair.

     “Yeah, that’s what my therapist said.” Steve quipped.

     Bucky nodded and said, “Mine did too when I told him how much I hated the guy that the bullet missed.”

     “Okay, but in that situation you were justified in hating him, unless he didn’t actually do anything to make someone shoot at him.” Steve said, tilting his head to look at Bucky.

     “A guy hired a couple gang members to murder his wife’s supposed lover and they missed, shot my mom instead.” Bucky said, looking down at Steve.

     Steve stared at Bucky for a moment. “That is...so fucked up.”

     “What’s even more fucked up is that the guy wasn’t even sleeping with the other guy’s wife.” Bucky shook his head and added, “The guy who did the hiring was rich so he got off with a slap on the wrist.” Steve squeezed Bucky’s hand and Bucky continued, “I also may have called in a few favors to get his ex-wife everything that he owned in the divorce and to make sure that he stayed destitute for at least the next thirty years” Bucky looked down at Steve with a sad smile. “I’m not very proud of that and haven’t told anyone else so I’d appreciate it if you didn’t share that with anyone else.”

     “Of course, a stór.” Steve said, smiling gently. After a beat, he asked, “How were you able to do that anyway?”

     “For the divorce part of it, well, a few judges owed me a favor and other judges owed them favors. As for the destitute part? That was more along the lines of people high up in the government that owed me.” Bucky explained, looking down.

     Steve pressed a kiss to Bucky’s forehead. “I don’t blame you. If I were in a similar position, I’d probably do the same thing.”

     Bucky smiled and, looking up, wiped a few of the left over tears off of Steve’s cheeks. He studied his boyfriend’s face for a few beats then asked, “What’s your favorite memory of your mother?”

     Steve hummed softly and, with a small frown, thought about it for a few moments. “Probably having her teach me how to make my grandmother’s apple cake when I was little.” Steve smiled. “I was so short that I had to stand on a chair to see over the counter.”

     “Mine was having my mother and my grandmother teaching me how to cook traditional Romanian dishes.” Bucky chuckled. “I still can’t make their musaca taste right. Though, I am pretty good with Ma’s papricaș and my grandma’s tocaniţa.”

     “Are your grandparents still alive?”

     “Nah, neither set. Dad’s parents died when I was a baby, Ma’s passed when I was in high school. You?”

     “Dad’s parents passed before I was even born and Mom’s passed when I was in middle school.” Steve admitted, shifting so he could look at Bucky properly. “I remember going to my mom’s parents place as a kid though. They lived out in the middle of nowhere in Pennsylvania. Even had a pool in their backyard. My cousins and I used to go swimming there all the time when we went over for the summer.”

     Bucky grinned. “We still have family out in Indiana who live in the middle of nowhere. It’s always interesting to go visit them.”

     Steve chuckled and laid his head back down on Bucky’s chest. After a few moments of silence, he said, “I’ve spent the past few weeks wondering what Ma would think of you. If she’d be happy for us.”

     “I know what you mean.” Bucky said, running his fingers through Steve’s hair.

     “What do you think?”

     “I think my father would like you for the simple fact that you’re one of his fellow soldier’s kids. I think my mother would love you as much as Becca does because you take care of me. Hell, I’m sure that if she were here and we were still dancing around each other, she’d be dropping hints about me dating “that nice Rogers boy” daily.” Bucky said with a small laugh.

     Shooting his boyfriend a small smile, Steve said, “I’m sure my grandmother would be doing the same thing.” After a beat, he added, “I want to say that I think my mom would like you but, it was always hard to tell with her.” Steve sighed and shook his head. “You’d definitely earn brownie points for the fact that you really have been taking good care of me. And that you make me happy.”

     Nodding, Bucky said, “Well, I’ll keep taking care of you as long as you let me.”

     Steve blushed a little and, with a small smile, said, “Feeling’s mutual, sweetheart.”

     Bucky resituated them until Steve was lying on his back and Bucky was lying on his side next to Steve. He rested his hand on Steve’s hip and said, “Speaking of. How are you feeling?”

     Frowning, Steve toyed with Bucky’s hand. “I still feel like I could burst into tears at the drop of a hat. You?”

     “Not that bad but I am still pretty sad.” Bucky admitted, shifting closer to Steve. “You know you can cry if you need to.”

     “I’d rather you not witness that.” Steve said, glancing over at Bucky. “It’s definitely not a pretty sight.”

     Bucky hummed softly and pressed a kiss to Steve’s temple. “I love you. All of you. A little snot and tears aren’t going to scare me off, Stevie.”

     Steve closed his eyes and leaned towards Bucky. “You haven’t seen me really sick yet.”

     “True.” Bucky said softly. “Though, I doubt that it would make me love you any less. I’d probably just be a bit grossed out.”

     Steve looked over at Bucky and studied him. After a moment or two, he rolled over to curl up against Bucky. He tucked his face against his boyfriend’s neck and, finally, allowed himself to cry. Bucky just held him close and rubbed his back until he’d cried himself out and dropped off into a light doze. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That dream thing: 
> 
>      Later that evening, Steve blearily opened his eyes and frowned. Bucky was still curled around him so he poked his boyfriend in the ribs until Bucky cracked an eye open and looked at him. “What is it, Stevie?”
> 
>      “I had the weirdest dream just now and I don’t know what it means.”
> 
>      Bucky rolled onto his back and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. “What happened?”
> 
>      Steve sat up and pulled Monty into his lap. Stroking Monty’s fur, he said, “Like...I was a superhero? Because I got experimented on back in the 40s by a Jewish scientist who was escaping Hitler?”
> 
>      “That sounds like something you’d do if it meant you could help people.” Bucky said, watching Nyota as she climbed onto his stomach.
> 
>      Steve reached over and gently punched his shoulder. Bucky caught his hand as he was pulling away and gently kissed his knuckles. Steve blushed and interlaced their fingers then added, “Well, it gets weirder. I was like, the face of Freedom or whatever.”
> 
>      “Well, there’s a reason Tony calls you Captain America.” Bucky raised an eyebrow. “Your ideals are pretty much what most people think American values are or, at least, what they’re supposed to be.”
> 
>      Steve nodded and said, “I guess. But yeah. There was a bunch of flashes of us doing stuff. Like, me rescuing you, us kicking Nazi butt with most of the guys from your squad, then you falling off of a fucking train over a ravine.”
> 
>      Bucky rolled his eyes. “Gee thanks, babe.”
> 
>      “It’s not like I wanted you to fall off a train, Buck. Dream me cried a lot and ended up putting a plane in the Arctic Ocean.”
> 
>      “Well that’s a bit dramatic.” Bucky said with a small, playful smile.
> 
>      Steve shrugged. “Apparently dream me is a dramatic little shit; I don’t know. The next thing I remember about it was that I was in the 21st century without you and my life was really sad. Like, I think dream-me probably had some severe depression? And a bunch of other stuff happened that I can’t really remember but I remember that there was an alien invasion, a murderous robot, and a huge fight with Tony involved then it was like everything started to rewind? It looked like what you see when you rewind the VHS on a VCR while the movie’s still playing.”
> 
>      “Yeah? What happened after it stopped rewinding?”
> 
>      Steve frowned. “It was like I was watching my life through a video tape. My dad wasn’t in the army. Instead, he was a drunk, abusive deadbeat. Also, Ma wasn’t a nurse? I think she was a factory worker, going by her outfit. I don’t fucking know. Anyway, Ma was sad and lonely because Dad was an asshole so she got manipulated into joining the Nazi’s by a lady who gave us food? And I went with her to meetings for whatever reason? And then the rest of the other stuff happened but it was weird and it was like I was a Nazi the entire time and I’m just really disturbed by this.”
> 
>      Bucky stared at him for a moment. “Alright, no more crying before you go to sleep if that’s the type of dreams you have when you fall asleep.”
> 
>      “No shit.” Steve pulled his hand away from Bucky’s and rubbed his eye. “Like, what I don’t get is that...I’d never actually join the Nazi’s? Like. No. Just. No.”
> 
>      “Maybe there’s an alternate universe where you did?” At Steve’s glare, Bucky added, “I mean, that you wouldn’t really be you. He’d be a warped version of you because let’s be real, there’s no way that you and that guy have the same sort of ideals.”
> 
>      “Buck, the only way I’d join the Nazi party is to destroy it from the inside or if I was brainwashed after a massive trauma to the head that made me forget literally everything I’ve ever known or believed. There is no universe in which it is remotely plausible that I genuinely believe that the Nazis were right.”
> 
>      Bucky nodded and sat up. “Do you want to make something for dinner or order in?”
> 
>      “Fuck it, let’s order in. I really don’t feel like cooking at the moment.” Steve said.
> 
>      Bucky hummed softly and pulled his laptop out from its place under the bed. Steve shifted so that he was sitting beside Bucky and leaned his head on Buck’s shoulder. Bucky glanced over at him and pressed a kiss to the crown of Steve’s head. “I love you, Stevie.”
> 
>      “I love you too, Buck.”


	24. New Adventures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky's agenda for the afternoon/evening: Kim's gymnastics demonstration, Scott's martial arts demonstration, and then some quality time together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, a new chapter! I hope this one's a good pick me up after the last one. Also, there's a bit of smut in this one ;) (look at the end notes for warnings for that one, it'll be a bit spoilery, but not too much.)
> 
> Sorry about the wait. Life has just been shit lately. I can't promise that there's going to be a regular update schedule, but I'll do my best to get a chapter out every month or two. Comments give me life btw, even if it's just an emoji.

~About One Work Week Later~ 

    The bell over the door chimed and Steve looked up from his sketchbook. He smiled and said, “Hey, Buck. What’s up?”

    Bucky smiled gently and, walking up to the jewelry counter, said, “Not much. When do you get off today?”

    Steve double checked the schedule and said, “In about half an hour actually.” He looked up. “Why?”

    Leaning against the counter, Bucky replied, “Kim and Scott have their competitions today. Becca thought they were next week but they’re today.”

    Leaning back in his chair, Steve frowned and asked, “When do they start?”

    “Kim’s starts in an hour; Scott’s is half an hour after Kim’s ends.”

    Steve nodded. “Think we can make it from here to there in half an hour?”

    Bucky cocked his head to the side and stared off into space for a moment then focused his attention back on Steve. “Maybe.”

    “Hey, Steve?” Peter said from his spot at the check-in desk.

    “Yeah?” Steve asked, looking over at him.

    “Your last consult just called to cancel. I can clock you out early if you want.”

    Steve frowned and asked, “Did they give a reason?”

    Peter shifted uncomfortably and replied, “They decided to get it done at Crossbones’ instead.”

    “If they call looking for a cover-up, turn them away.” Steve closed his sketchbook. “I warned them that Rumlow’s quality is shit and I’m done cleaning up his fuckups.”

    “Okay. I’ll make a note in the system.” Peter said, turning his attention to the computer.

    “Isn’t Rumlow the one that Sharon’s dating?” Bucky asked Steve as Peggy walked into the front.

    “She dumped him a couple months ago.” Peggy replied, looking through the jewelry display.

    “Good.” Steve murmured, standing up. He packed away his things then, turning to his boyfriend, smiled slightly and said, “I guess we can head out early, Buck.”

    Bucky grinned. “Awesome.”

    Steve said a quick goodbye to his friends then walked around the counter. As they headed out the door, Steve slipped his hand into Bucky’s and interlaced their fingers. Bucky lifted his hand and kissed the back of Steve’s knuckles. They stopped at the bus stop outside of Steve’s shop and waited patiently for the next bus. Steve looked up at Bucky and asked, “How’s your day been?”

    “Pretty good. I got in some more training at SHIELD. It was pretty fun throwing around and getting thrown around by Natasha.” Bucky said, smiling crookedly.

    Steve snorted and shook his head. “I will never understand that.”

    Bucky chuckled and, wrapping an arm around Steve’s shoulders, said, “I don’t understand it half the time, babe.”

    Wrapping an arm around his waist, Steve asked, “What did you take out for dinner tonight?”

    “Beef tips.” Bucky shrugged. “I set the crockpot up to make sweet and sour beef. I figured we could make some rice to go with it later. Or if you’re tired of rice we could make lo mein or chow mein.”

    “Chow mein sounds good.” Steve said, tucking his thumb into Bucky’s waistband.

    Bucky smiled gently and said, “Alright, I’m pretty sure we have the stuff to make it at home.”

    Steve chuckled and asked, “What do you want to watch tonight?”

    “I was thinking we could watch a movie. Not sure which one, but I’m not feeling like watching anything on TV tonight.” Bucky said, shrugging. Steve hummed and nodded, thinking about what movies he had at the apartment that they could watch.

    Their bus came into view so they separated and dug their MetroCards out of their wallets. The bus pulled up in front of them and the doors swung open. The driver smiled tiredly at them as they swiped their cards. Bucky nodded his head in greeting and shot her a small smile whereas Steve grinned brightly and said hello. They took a seat near the middle of the bus, Bucky shifting so he was facing Steve and resting his arm on the back of Steve’s seat.

    As the bus pulled away from the stop, Steve looked over at Bucky and asked, “What type of movie were you thinking?”

    “I’ve been on a black-and-white film kick ever since we visited our parents.” Bucky said, shrugging. “I’m not exactly sure which ones you own though since I haven’t actually looked at your collection yet.”

    “Seriously? You’ve been living with me for a month and you still haven’t checked out my movie collection?” Steve asked, shooting his boyfriend a confused look.

    Bucky shrugged. “I’m usually either training at SHEILD, hanging out with my sister and her family, or tinkering on something with Tony. And, if I am at home, I’m either reading or with you.” Bucky raised an eyebrow. “And I usually just defer to you on what we should watch since you’re more current on movies and TV than I am.”

    Steve nodded slowly. “I guess you’re right. Though, I never thought about that.”

    Leaning over, Bucky pressed a kiss to Steve’s temple and murmured, “It’s alright, iubitule.”

    Steve tilted his head up and pressed a kiss to Bucky’s jaw. “We’ll look through my black-and-white movies tonight since I’m not actually sure what I have.”

    Bucky smiled gently and pressed a kiss to the corner of Steve’s mouth. “Of course, pisoiul meu.”

    Steve smiled and pecked Bucky on the lips. He heard someone behind them clear their throat and he glanced around. Most everyone was minding their own business, save for one woman who was glaring at them. Steve frowned slightly and turned so his back was pressed against Bucky’s front. He rested his head against Bucky’s shoulder and, looking up at Bucky, asked, “What stop do we have to get off at?”

    “Smith and Warren.” Bucky wrapped an arm around Steve’s waist and pulled him closer.

    “Hoping on at Bergen?” Steve asked, raising an eyebrow.

    “Yep. Fastest route to where we’re going is through there. Though we do have to change at Hoyt.”

    Steve hummed softly and looked at the ceiling of the bus, resolutely ignoring the woman glaring daggers into the side of his face. He traced patterns on the back of Bucky’s hand and said, “I love you.”

    “I love you too.” Bucky said, smiling gently. He pressed another kiss to Steve’s temple then murmured, “Are you trying to give that woman an aneurysm?”

    “Now why would I do that?” Steve asked softly, smirking slightly.

    Bucky chuckled and shifted into a more comfortable position. He rubbed his thumb along Steve’s hip and murmured, “You’re such a little shit.”

    Steve grinned and murmured, “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

    “Oh, it most definitely isn’t.” Bucky said softly, burying his nose in Steve’s hair. “It’s definitely one of my favorite parts about you.”

    Steve laughed, bright and loud. “Good to know. I’ll have to do it more often then.” Bucky suppressed a laugh and pressed another chaste kiss to the side of Steve’s head.

    The rest of their bus ride and subsequent subway ride were spent swapping stories about various antics they’d gotten up to with their friends. As they walked out of the subway station near Kim’s gymnastics school, Steve said, “The best one was when Tony and Rhodey decided to ride the subway with us.”

    Bucky wrapped an arm around Steve’s shoulders and, steering them towards Kim’s school, asked, “What happened?”

    “Well, you know how Tony’s really tactile to begin with?”

    “I’d noticed.” Bucky said, raising an eyebrow. “More so with the twins that with me, but I noticed.”

    “Well, he was even more tactile with us back before he got together with Bruce.” Steve grinned and added, “But he was super tactile with Rhodey because they’d been roommates in college and are best friends.”

    “Yeah? Let me guess, someone assumed they were dating.”

    “Well, it’s not that big of a leap when Tony is literally sitting in Rhodey’s lap, singing love songs wildly off-key in Rhodey’s ear while the rest of us are dying of laughter.”

    Bucky snorted as they turned a corner. “Dear lord, how drunk was he?”

    “Stone cold sober.” Steve chuckled. “It’s apparently something that he’s done with Rhodey since they were at MIT.”

    “That man must have the patience of a saint.” Bucky said, shaking his head with a smile.

    “Oh, don’t let the cool exterior fool you. Rhodey is just as much of a shit as Tony is.” Steve said, smirking. “He was the one who played along just to rile up the homophobe.”

     Bucky chuckled and opened the door to the gymnastics place. “He sounds like a lot of fun.”

    “Yeah. He is pretty fun to be around. He’s got some really cool stories too.” Steve said with a smile as they entered the largest gymnasium.

    “Steve! Bucky!” Becca called from her place in the stands. Steve looked around and spotted her. He frowned slightly at how far up she was, but didn’t comment as they walked up the stands to her.

    Once they reached her, Steve flopped down beside her and, breathing heavily, said, “Lord, Becca, couldn’t you pick a spot further down.”

    She shot him an apologetic look and said, “Not if we all wanted to sit next to each other.”

    As Bucky settled into the seat beside him, Steve nodded and dug his inhaler out of his bag. His chest had tightened to the point where he knew he needed to use it. He gave it a few good shakes before taking a puff from it. After inhaling the medicine, he held his breath for a moment then slowly breathed out. His chest loosened after a couple more breaths and he put tucked his inhaler back into his bag.

    Leaning forward to look around his mom, Scott looked over at him curiously and said, “Uncle Steve?”

    “Yeah, Scotty?” Steve asked, looking over at him with a small smile.

    “What was that? That thing that you were breathing in?”

    “It was my inhaler. It helps me breath.” Steve smiled gently and explained, “If I exert myself too much then my lungs decide that they don’t want to work very well and my inhaler helps them work the way they should.”

    Scott nodded slowly. “Do you have to use it a lot?”

    “Not really.” Steve rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m usually pretty good about watching it. But we walked from the subway station here and then up all the steps.” He shrugged. “But I’m okay. Things happen.”

    Becca frowned and said, “Are you sure that you’re okay, Steve?”

    “Yeah.” Steve smiled kindly and looked down at the floor. “It is a good spot to watch, though. We can see pretty much everything.”

    Bucky laced their fingers together as Becca said, “It should be starting soon.”

    “When should Kim be going out?” Bucky asked curiously.

    Ezra tucked his phone into his pocket and said, “They let the younger ones go first so, not that long.”

    “Though, Dad and I might have to leave early so we can get over to my school.” Scott said, frowning slightly.

    “I’m sure Kim would understand.” Steve said, smiling gently.

    “Yeah. I hope so.” Scott mumbled, frowning.

    Steve opened his mouth to respond but Becca nudged him and said, “Look, there’s Kim.”

    They all turned their attention to the floor and watched as Kim and her classmates came out. Steve smiled gently and waved when Kim scanned the stands. She smiled brightly and waved back before turning her attention to her teacher. They watched Kim’s classmates worked their way through the vaulting and the uneven bars events.

    Even though they were still quite young, Steve was impressed with the amount of strength the girls had when it came to the uneven bars. Always had been, to be honest; even back when he’d been watching Natasha compete. He watched as the last girl dismounted from the highest bar with a flourish and, as the girl’s family cheered, said, “Dear Lord”

    “Yeah. They’re all really good.” Scott said, beaming proudly. “Kim’s the best on the balance beam though.”

    “Which should be next, if I’m not mistaken.” Bucky said, cocking his head to the side.

    “Yep.” Ezra said, smiling gently.

    Becca shifted in her seat and, as the first girl went through her routine, said, “After they’re done with the beam and the floor routines, they’ll move on to the rhythmic events. Kim’s doing ribbon so she’ll be in the last group if I’m not mistaken. Tumbling and trampoline are the last set and tumbling should be first.”

    Bucky hummed softly. “Is it bad that I’m glad there’s only 10 girls in Kim’s group?”

    Ezra snorted. “Nah. It’s pretty understandable.”

    Steve chuckled softly and watched Kim fidget in line. “She’s next, guys.”

    When Kim glanced up at them, Scott shouted, “Go, Kimmy! You got this!”

    Kim smiled and gave her brother a thumbs up before getting into place. As she mounted the balance beam, Steve smiled and leaned against Bucky. He watched her go through her routine and cocked his head to the side. Her movements were more fluid than he’d expected. Biting his thumbnail, he frowned and watched her move along the beam. His fingers itched to pick up a pencil and capture that fluidity on paper. Bucky leaned over and murmured, “You can draw if you want, you know. I don’t think Kimmy’s going to mind.”

    Steve hummed softly, but didn’t move to pull his sketchpad out. He glanced up at Bucky and said, “It wouldn’t do much good right now anyway. I’ve never been good at drawing people while they move.” Steve shrugged. “Besides, I haven’t been able to practice anatomy in a while so it’d just end up looking a bit wonky.” Bucky pressed a kiss to Steve’s temple then turned his attention back to Kim.

    Once Kim had dismounted the beam, Steve and her family clapped and cheered. She waved to them again then fell back in line next to her friends. Steve and the others settled in and watched the rest of the girls perform. 

* * *

     It wasn’t long before all of the events were over. Scott and Ezra had ducked out right after Kim’s tumbling routine so that Scott wouldn’t be late for his pre-demonstration meeting with his teacher. As the younger kids filed out and the older ones filed in, Steve, Bucky, and Becca made their way down the stairs and out to the lobby. Becca told them to wait there for her then disappeared down the hall to pick up Kim.

    Steve leaned against the wall and looked around the lobby. There were various pictures of current and past students as well as a few trophy displays. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched as Bucky rested his forearm on the wall by his head. The corner of Steve’s lips twitched up in a playful smile. He looked up at Bucky through his eyelashes and murmured, “Can I help you, a stór?”

    Bucky leaned in and, lips brushing against Steve’s temple, murmured, “I was just thinking about something you promised me a while back.”

    “Oh?” Steve tilted his head and, looking up at his boyfriend, arched an eyebrow. “And what would that be?”

    “That you’d draw me.” Bucky murmured, looking down.

    Steve eyed him for a beat then smiled. He reached out and rested his hand on Bucky’s waist. Brushing his thumb along Bucky’s side, he murmured, “I did, didn’t I?” He bit his lip and looked Bucky over. “I’d almost forgotten that.”

    Bucky shivered slightly and said, “And, well, you did just say that you needed to practice your anatomy.”

    Steve chuckled softly and tilted his head up a bit. “Mmm, that I did. It would be good practice.”

    “Steve, Bucky!” They turned to see Becca and Kim walking down the hall towards them. Kim covered her mouth to hide her giggle. Steve blushed and nudged Bucky away from him. Bucky hesitated then backed away, rubbing the back of his neck. Becca raised an eyebrow and, smirking, said, “If you two are done making goo-goo eyes at each other, we should really head over to Scott’s martial arts academy.”

    Steve chuckled nervously and said, “Um, where exactly is this place?”

    “Two, maybe three, blocks from here. We were planning on walking, unless...” Becca trailed off, frowning slightly.

    Steve waved her off. “I’ll be fine. I’ve walked that far before for work.”

    “Yeah, but probably not in the middle of the day.” Becca said, still frowning.

    “Becca, I’ll be fine.” Steve said, frowning.

    Becca opened her mouth to argue, but her brother cut her off. “Drop it, Becca.” Bucky’s tone was hard and clearly a warning. He shifted his weight and, in a softer tone, added, “If Steve says he’ll be fine, he’ll be fine.” Becca looked at her brother, long and hard, then shrugged. Bucky intertwined his fingers with Steve’s and said, “Why don’t we get going? Don’t want to miss Scotty’s big demo for us.”

    The four of them headed out of the building; Bucky and Steve letting Kim and Becca take the lead. Kim looked up at her mom and said, “Miss Jubilee said I did a good job today.”

    “You did!” Becca agreed, smiling down at Kim.

    “But I messed up.” Kim said, frowning.

    Becca looked over at her with a small, confused, frown. “What do you mean? Everything looked right from where we were sitting.”

    Kim shook her head. “My legs were a little wobbly on the beam today and my split wasn’t right. Also, I went out of bounds on my floor routine and I dropped my ribbon during that routine. The only one that was all right was my tumbling routine.”

    Steve blinked. “You dropping the ribbon wasn’t intentional?”

    “No, Uncle Steve. And if this was a competition, I would’ve been docked points for it.” Kim said, frowning sadly.

    “Huh. Well, if it makes you feel any better, it looked like it was intentional.” Steve said, smiling warmly.

    “Thanks, Uncle Steve.” Kim said, smiling slightly.

    “I’m sure that Miss Jubilee will go over your mistakes with you at your next practice.” Bucky said, smiling kindly. He scooped Kim up and held her on his hip. Kim giggled and Bucky added, “But, until then, don’t stress about it, kiddo. You did your best and that’s all anyone can ask for.”

    “Yeah. I guess so.” Kim said, wrapping her arms around Bucky’s neck. “I’m just kinda mad that I messed up.”

    “You know, Kimmy, when Miss Natasha was learning gymnastics, she messed up a lot too.” Steve said, smiling slightly.

    “She did?” Kim asked, eyeing Steve skeptically.

    “She sure did.” Steve leaned in a bit and, in a mock whisper, said, “Don’t tell her I told you this, but one time, back in the early days, she face-planted into the beam during a competition.”

    Kim giggled and said, “I can’t believe that! Miss Natasha would never!”

    “Oh, but she did. I have the video at home to prove it.” Steve said, his laughter threatening to bubble over.

    “Sweetie, last week Miss Natasha fell out of the ring when we were sparring because she momentarily forgot where we were.” Bucky said, raising an eyebrow.

    Kim covered her mouth to smother her surprised laughter. Steve reached up and, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear, said, “And, back when I was learning to draw, I messed up. A lot.” Steve tucked his hands in his pockets and added, “Messing up is a part of life, Kimmy. A lot of the times, you have to mess up before you can get better at something.

    Nodding slowly, Kim said, “That sounds a lot like what Jake said.”

    “Jake?” Steve asked, raising an eyebrow.

    “Jake the Dog. From Adventure Time.” Becca supplied, smiling gently. She looked over at Kim and said, “And you’re right. It is kind of like what Jake said.”

    “What did Jake say?” Steve asked curiously.

    “He said that ‘sucking at something is the first step to becoming sort of good at something.’” Kim said, smiling.

    “Well, he’s got a point.” Bucky said, chuckling.

    Kim rested her head on Bucky’s shoulder as they walked through the front door of Scott’s martial arts academy. Ezra met them in the lobby and lead them to the gymnasium that was being used for it. They walked up a couple rows of bleachers and settled in. Kim looked over at Steve from where she sat on Bucky’s lap. “Uncle Steve?”

    “Yeah, sweetheart?” Steve said, looking over at her.

    “Have you drawn anything new lately?” Kim asked, cocking her head to the side.

    “Oh! Yeah.” Steve dug out his personal sketchpad and flipped it open. “I started working on a client’s back piece the other day. I think you’ll like it.” He handed it over to her and she carefully held it in her lap.

    “Ooo, fairies! And nymphs!” Kim said, her eyes lighting up. “What style are you doing this in, Uncle Steve?”

    “Well, they’re partial to my watercolor style so probably that.” Steve smiled slightly. “Though, I think that maybe more of an art nouveau look would work better with what I have outlined so far.”

    “Can’t you combine the two?” Kim asked, looking over at him curiously.

    “When drawing, yes. Though, I’m not quite sure if I can while doing a tattoo.” Steve said, frowning slightly.

    Kim looked down at the picture once more then handed his sketchpad back to him. As Steve tucked it away, she asked, “Uncle Steve?”

    Looking up, he said, “Yes, sweetheart?”

    “Can you paint me something like that?” She cocked her head to the side. “Not that exact picture, obviously, since it’s for a client.”

    Steve hummed softly. “I’m not sure if I can do it right now-”

    “Oh! It doesn’t have to be right now! I know you’re really busy with work and that you want to spend your free time with Uncle Bucky.” She smiled. “I just meant sometime in the future. Maybe for my next birthday or Christmas or something.”

    Steve chuckled. “Okay, sweetheart. I think I can do that.”

    Kim slipped off of Bucky’s lap and moved to sit between Steve and Bucky. She gave Steve a hug and murmured, “Thanks, Uncle Steve.”

    Steve pressed a kiss to the top of her head and said, “It’s no problem, Kimmy.”

    Kim smiled up at him then turned her attention to the gym floor, keeping her arms around his waist and her head tucked against his shoulder. Steve smiled and shared a look with Bucky before he turned his attention to the group of kids gathering there.

* * *

     As far as martial arts demonstrations went, it was fairly normal. From what he remembered of Natasha’s, Scott did fairly well. Both Ezra and Becca seemed very proud of him, so Steve counted that as a good sign. Afterwards, they met him and his teacher in the lobby. He talked to Ezra and Becca for a few minutes while Scott excitedly explained what they were going to be learning next to Steve, Bucky, and his sister.

    Steve smiled as Scott chattered away and looked up. Becca was watching him with a small, private smile. He raised an eyebrow at her, but she just waved it off. He turned his attention back to Scott and tucked his hands into his pockets.

    A few moments later, Ezra and Becca rejoined them. Ezra smiled at them and asked, “Who’s hungry?”

    Scott and Kim shared a look before they looked up at their dad and shouted, “ME!”

    Ezra chuckled and said, “I figured as much. It’s almost dinner time after all.”

    “Oh, Dad, can we go to Bubby’s?” Scott asked, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

    “If it’s alright with your sister.” Ezra said, raising an eyebrow.

    Scott looked at his sister. Kim shrugged and said, “Bubby’s is fine with me. I like their breakfast for dinner stuff.”

    Ezra looked at Steve and Bucky. “You guys coming too? Or did you two have other dinner plans?”

    Steve shot them an apologetic look. “We’ve actually got plans for dinner.”

    “It’s okay, Uncle Steve.” Scott said, smiling. “We can all go out to dinner after we get back from Disney!”

    “Oh yeah. You guys are leaving for that tomorrow.” Steve said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Well...we could…” Steve looked up at Bucky.

    “Nah, don’t worry about it, Uncle Steve.” Kim said, waving her hand. “You guys go home and relax a bit, okay?”

    Steve smiled gently and said, “Alright, sweetheart.”

    After they’d said their goodbyes, Steve and Bucky headed for the nearest subway station. 

* * *

 

    Bucky flopped down on the couch and sighed contently. Steve chuckled and cleaned up their dinner dishes. Bucky tilted his head back to look at Steve and said, “I really liked that movie, scumpule. Didn’t expect that ending though.”

    “Well, _Some Like It Hot_ was pretty revolutionary for its day.” Steve said, rinsing out their bowls then setting them in the dishwasher.

    “True.” Bucky shifted and, after a moment, asked, “Hey, how do you want me? For the drawing thing.”

    “Your choice. Couch or bed, either is fine with me.”

    “Naked or…” Bucky trailed off, smirking playfully.

    Steve poked his head into the living room and he let his gaze wander up and down Bucky’s figure. Meeting his boyfriend’s eyes, he raised an eyebrow and asked, voice thick as honey with desire, “What do you think?”

    “Alright, alright. Naked it is.” Bucky said, chuckling.

    Smiling to himself, Steve headed back into their bedroom to grab a new sketchpad and his pencils. This particular sketchpad wouldn’t be leaving the apartment, ever. Steve blushed as he pulled it out of his nightstand. Though he didn’t intend to fill the entire sketchbook, he didn’t want to risk it and tearing pages out of his work one was a pain. He set the sketchbook and pencils aside and glanced back at the door. He should probably get changed into something more comfortable. Especially if he was going to be sitting for an extended period of time.

    He walked over to the dresser and pulled out a pair of cotton Soffe shorts and a tank top. He was fairly certain that the shorts had, at one point, belonged to Natasha, but, then again, so did half of his shirts. He quickly changed, grabbed his sketchpad and pencils, and headed back into the living room. He made sure to close the door behind himself, since Monty and Nyota were curled up on his bed.

     Bucky lay stretched out on the sofa, one arm behind his head and the other resting on his stomach. He glanced up when Steve walked in and, smirking playfully, asked, “This a good pose, pisoiul meu?”

    Steve set his sketchpad and pencils on the coffee table and gave Bucky’s body a once over. Blushing, he nodded once and said, “Looks great, mo ghrá geal.”

    Bucky smirked and trailed a finger along his partially-hard cock. “I shouldn’t adjust anything?”

    Blushing harder and rolling his eyes playfully, Steve moved the chair from beside the window over a bit so he had a better view and asked, “Are you comfortable? You’re going to be lying there for at least an hour.”

    Snorting, Bucky shifted slightly until he was in a more comfortable position on his side and said, “Alright, dear, I’m comfortable.”

    Smiling gently, Steve picked up his pencils and sketchbook. He settled into the chair and set to sketching out the scene before him. He’d drawn nude models before, for class, but this was far more distracting. For one, the models for class always had a somewhat bored look on their faces. They’d never watched him as he’d sketched them and, even if he had made eye-contact with them while they were modeling, none of them had ever looked at him like Bucky was currently looking at him. And, even though he was usually good at reading his boyfriend’s expressions, he couldn’t tell, not exactly anyway, what Bucky was thinking.

    “What’s with the sour face, pisoiul meu?” Bucky asked, raising an eyebrow.

    “Just trying to figure out if you’re trying to bore into my soul or eye-fuck me from across the room.” Steve said, raising an eyebrow as he sketched the long lines of Bucky’s legs.

    “Can’t both be an option?” Bucky quipped, smirking.

    Steve bit his lip and shifted in his seat. “You’re making it hard to concentrate, Buck.”

    “Sorry, scumpule.” Bucky murmured, looking down.

    “It’s alright.” Steve shot him a shy smile. “I understand.”

    Bucky looked back up at him and smiled gently. Steve ducked his head to hide his blush and continued working. 

* * *

 

    Throughout their little modeling session, Bucky had shifted positions a few times; giving Steve a few different poses to go with if he decided to actually finish-finish these sketches. Setting aside his sketchbook and pencils, Steve stood and stretched out his back. Sitting in one position for that long hadn’t been the brightest of ideas, but he hadn’t wanted to stop sketching Bucky.

    Bucky smiled slightly and sat up, shifting so he was properly sitting on the couch. Tilting his head to the side, he asked, “Done?”

    “For today.” Steve said softly, crossing the living room in a few strides. He planted a knee on either side of Bucky’s hips and added, “Might do this again sometime.”

    Resting his hands on Steve’s hips, Bucky looked up at Steve and said, “Any time, Stevie. I’m all yours.” Steve hummed softly in response then leaned down and slotted their lips together. Bucky’s eyes slipped shut as Steve’s hands came up to tangle in his hair. He pulled Steve closer, enjoying the feeling of his boyfriend leaning fully against him.

    Steve rocked his hips against Bucky’s and pulled away just far enough to murmur, “You’ve been teasing me for the past two hours.”

    Bucky chuckled and, letting his hands drift to Steve’s ass, asked, “Oh? How do you figure?”

    Steve leaned back and let his hands drift down Bucky’s chest. He smirked and said, “The flirting and staring at me, even when you think I’m not paying attention.” Raising an eyebrow, he added, “And don’t for a second think that I didn’t notice the fact that you kept yourself half-hard the entire time.”

    Blushing, Bucky shrugged. “I’ll concede the flirting and the staring, but staying half-hard wasn’t exactly intentional.”

    Humming, Steve’s hands drifted down between them. He gently ran his fingers over Bucky’s length and murmured, “Oh? What were you thinking of, then?”

    Bucky looked down, blush darkening, and mumbled, “You.”

    Steve studied Bucky for a moment. It wasn’t unexpected that his boyfriend had been thinking of him, but what was this reaction about? Bucky wasn’t usually very self-conscious when talking about what he wanted. At least, he hadn’t been since he’d gotten home. Unless…

    “You were thinking about being inside me, weren’t you?” Steve asked softly, looking at his boyfriend with a gentle smile.

    “Yeah.” Bucky replied, his voice soft as he refused to look at Steve. “But I know you said you weren’t ready yet. And that’s fine, I’m okay with waiting.” He smiled ruefully. “I was just...thinking about it.”

    Steve’s smile widened and he leaned in to kiss Bucky again. Bucky relaxed against him and let his eyes slip closed again. Steve pressed a few kisses along Bucky’s jaw and asked, “How did you imagine it?”

    Bucky looked at him, surprised, and asked, “What do you mean?”

    Steve blushed, but didn’t look away. He raised an eyebrow and, shooting his boyfriend a playful smile, asked, “When you were thinking about it, how did you imagine it?” Leaning in, he brushed a kiss against Bucky’s jaw and asked, “Were we out here?” Another kiss. “Or maybe we were in bed?” He rocked his hips and murmured, “Was it fast and hard? Or slow and gentle?”

    Bucky groaned softly. He tilted his head to the side and, as Steve peppered kisses along his neck, said, “We were in the bedroom. I’d...I’d made you cum a couple times so you were relaxed and boneless before I…” He bit his lip and blushed harder.

    “Go on…” Steve murmured, slowly stroking Bucky’s erection.

    Bucky cleared his throat and said, “Before I, um, I... Jesus fucking Christ, Stevie.”

    Steve snorted and rubbed his thumb over the head of Bucky’s cock. He pressed a kiss to Bucky’s jaw and said, “C’mon, Buck. What did you do? Kiss me senseless? Nuzzled your face in my neck? Start to stretch me open for you?” He smiled at Bucky’s breathy moan and added, “Sounds like you wanted it slow and gentle, so maybe you didn’t start right in with stretching me open for you.” He pressed a kiss to Bucky’s jaw and asked, “What’d you do, Buck? I must’ve been begging for you by then.”

    “I... I don’t know if you’d...We never talked about it, but I…” Bucky groaned and his hips rocked up, searching for friction.

    “So let’s talk about it now.” Steve raised an eyebrow. “You know you don’t have to be embarrassed, Buck. I’m pretty sure that we’ve covered that already when we talked about both of us liking the other in some sort of lingerie.”

    Bucky squeezed Steve’s ass and, rolling his eyes, said, “Well, it’s not every day you tell your boyfriend you got hard thinking about eating his ass.”

    Steve cocked his head to the side. “Huh. I didn’t think of that.” Bucky just eyed him warily so Steve smiled warmly and added, “Honestly, given how much you love to play with my ass, I’m surprised it hasn’t come up before now.”

    Bucky huffed out a laugh and muttered, “I know not everyone likes it and I wasn’t sure how’d you feel about it.”

    Steve shrugged. “Never done it or had it done so I’m kind of ambivalent towards it.” He wrinkled his nose. “Though...I’m not sure if I could do it to you. I love you, but I just….”

    Bucky chuckled. “I get it, Stevie. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea.”

    Steve shifted closer to him and asked, “But you want to do it to me?”

    Bucky nodded and let his fingers brush along the cleft of Steve’s ass. “Only if you’d be okay with it.”

    Biting his lip, Steve pushed back into Bucky’s hand. He looked down and asked, “Right now?”

    “Doesn’t have to be.” He frowned. “I know you got a shower when we got home, but I’m not sure…”

    “How thorough I was?” Steve suggested, raising an eyebrow and smiling.

    Bucky nodded sheepishly. “Yeah.”

    “I was pretty thorough.” Steve said softly as he rocked back against Bucky’s hand, which was still lazily trailing his fingers up and down the cleft of his ass. “I... kind of hoped you might finger me tonight.”

    “Oh, I can definitely do that.” Bucky said, grinning and pressing a kiss to Steve’s jaw.

    “But, I think I want to try having you…” Steve blushed and cleared his throat. “I’d be willing to try it tonight.”

    Bucky chuckled and said, “If you want to do that, you’re gonna have to let me up, darlin’.”

    Steve whined softly, but did as he was asked. Before he climbed off, he pressed one last kiss against Bucky’s lips. Standing before his boyfriend, Steve put one hand on his hip and rubbed the back of his neck. “Now what?” He asked, softly.

    Bucky shifted to the edge of the couch and toyed with the hem of Steve’s tank top. “Now we get you undressed.” He slipped his hands under Steve’s shirt and slowly ran them up his sides, lifting the thin cotton fabric in the process.

    Steve shifted closer to Bucky and pulled it off before Bucky’s hands could go any further than his ribcage. He tossed it to the side then turned his attention back to his boyfriend. He bit his lip to suppress a laugh as Bucky smirked playfully and leaned in to press kisses to his stomach. He ran a hand through Bucky’s hair and said, “Buck, that tickles.”

    “Sorry.” Bucky said, not sounding the least bit sorry. He hooked his thumbs into the waistband of Steve’s shorts and slowly dragged them down, pressing kisses to Steve’s hipbones and erection as he did so.

    Steve shivered as Bucky licked him from base to tip. His hand tightened on Bucky’s hair and he murmured, “Weren’t you doing something?”

    “Mmm. You’re very distracting.” Bucky replied, lifting his head up to look at Steve.

    Blushing, Steve playfully rolled his eyes and quipped, “Excuses, excuses.”

    Bucky stood up and kissed Steve, hard. Steve whimpered softly and wrapped his arms around Bucky’s neck. After a moment, Bucky pulled back just far enough to speak and said, “Kneel on the couch, facing the wall.”

    Steve blushed and nodded, too turned on to actually say anything. He moved around Bucky and climbed back on the couch. He folded his arms and rested them against the back. Glancing over his shoulder, he asked, “Now what?”

    Bucky leaned over and pressed a kiss to Steve’s shoulder blade. “Now you relax.”

    Steve hummed softly as Bucky trailed kisses along his spine. “You know I’m not very good at that.”

    “I know.” Bucky murmured against Steve’s skin. “But, I’d like you to try.” Another kiss, lower down his spine. “If you don’t like it, then I’ll stop, okay?”

    “Well, I like what you’re doing now.” Steve quipped, resting his cheek on his arms.

    Bucky hummed softly in reply, continuing to kiss his way down Steve’s back, and ran his hand up the inside of Steve’s thigh. Steve knew they were trembling slightly, but he couldn’t stop it if he tried. Bucky paused and, with a concerned tone, asked, “Why are your legs-”

    “Because I’m really fucking turned on right now.” Steve bit out, closing his eyes. Good Lord. Sometimes he really hated how his body reacted to things. “They do that sometimes.” He swallowed and quipped, “In case the fact that my dick is leaking like a broken faucet wasn’t enough of a hint for you.”

    Bucky gently nipped at Steve’s right ass-cheek, causing Steve to squeak in surprise and his hips jerk forward slightly. Bucky smoothed his hand over the place where he’d nipped and said, in a tone more suited for small talk about the weather, “No need to be rude, pisoiul meu.”

    Groaning, Steve turned his head to rest his forehead on his arms. Honestly, this was not where he thought this was going. He kind of expected Bucky to just dive right in as soon as he got in position, but of course his boyfriend had to be contrary. Though, Bucky probably wasn’t intending for this to be a stalling tactic. He was probably actually enjoying playing with Steve’s ass.

    Steve canted his hips back and, minutely shifting his weight from side to side, mumbled, “Sorry, Buck. Nerves make me impatient.”

    “I noticed.”

    Steve groaned and thunked his head against his arms. He felt Bucky spread his cheeks, which caused him to blush. He was never this exposed to anyone. Hell, even the doctors that had to give him a colonoscopy never- oh. That was a tongue. That was Bucky’s tongue. Huh. Okay. That felt a bit nicer than he thought it would. Jesus, Buck wasn’t kidding when he said he enjoyed this. No one could do _that_ with their tongue if they didn’t love every second of it.

    Biting his lip, Steve reached down to stroke himself. He never thought he’d actually _enjoy_ having _his boyfriend’s tongue in his ass_ , but, good God, this was not what he had expected. Not from what he’d heard about it in locker rooms in high school or at the clubs he used to go to in college. Though, he guessed it sort of made sense; it was a highly sensitive area of the body.

    “You alright up there, Stevie?” Bucky asked, causing Steve’s hand to still.

    “J-just peachy.” Steve mumbled. He shifted his hips slightly and, blushing even harder, said, “You can keep going.”

    Bucky chuckled and, running a finger along the cleft, asked, “Just checking.” He lightly circled the tight ring of muscles and added, “You went really quiet all of a sudden, thought you weren’t liking it.”

    Steve groaned and twisted around to look at his boyfriend. “Buck, in all seriousness, I will literally sit on your face if you do not keep going.”

    Bucky’s eyes widened and his eyebrows threatened to disappear into his hair. He cleared his throat and said, “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

    “Buck.”

    “Alright, alright. But we are trying that sometime.”

    “Fine. Not now, but okay. Just...go.” Steve said, turning back to face the wall and slumping down on his arms. Steve felt Bucky’s breath against his skin as he chuckled and Steve blushed. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to get lost in the sensations and feelings.

    Steve wasn’t sure how much longer they went on like that, but he could feel his orgasm building. Slowing the movement of his hand, he asked, “Buck, hand me my shirt?”

    Bucky slowed to a stop and pulled away. “Why?”

    “Because I’m gonna cum and I don’t want to completely ruin my couch.” Steve said, twisting to look at his boyfriend.

    Bucky grinned and, with a gentle shove, got Steve to sit down on the couch. Frowning, Steve opened his mouth to ask what was wrong; only to cut himself off with a gasp when Bucky swallowed him in one go. Closing his eyes, Steve arched his back and moaned. He buried his hand in Bucky’s hair as his hips rocked up.

    Before he’d had time to fully process the fact that his boyfriend had just buried his nose in the sparse curls at the base of his dick, Bucky had slipped a finger into his ass and had found his prostate. Then he was cumming, hard and fast and with a shout that he wasn’t entirely sure was English or coherent. Bucky swallowed and continued to do so until Steve whimpered and tugged on his hair, indicating that it had passed the point of pleasure and was bordering on pain.

    Looking up at Steve, Bucky grinned and rested his cheek on Steve’s trembling thigh. “You look thoroughly debauched right now.”

    Steve chuckled. “I feel properly debauched.” He ran his fingers through Bucky’s hair. “Are you still hard?” Bucky nodded, nuzzling Steve’s thigh, but didn’t move to take care of it. Steve cupped his cheek and asked, “Would you like me to take care of it for you?”

    Bucky hummed. “Only if you want to.”

    Steve shifted and said, “C’mere.”

    Bucky raised an eyebrow but did as he was asked. Steve put a hand on the back of his neck and pulled him down, kissing his cheek. With his free hand, he reached down and took Bucky in his hand. Bucky groaned softly and buried his face in Steve’s shoulder. Steve chuckled and, stroking him gently, whispered in his ear, “You’re so fucking amazing, Buck. Never thought I’d love getting a rimjob, but you definitely changed my mind on that.”

    “Yeah?” Bucky mumbled, holding himself up off of Steve as best as he could while also staying as close as he could.

    “Mm-hmm.” Steve pressed a kiss to Bucky’s hairline. “Think you could finish telling me what that daydream was about?”

    Bucky whimpered softly, his hips bucking into Steve’s loosened hold. “A-after I ate you out, I made sure you were nice and-and stretched out. Took m-my time with you. Wanted to make you feel good when I finally slid into you.”

    Steve pressed a kiss to the front of Bucky’s ear. “Bet it’ll felt great, you being inside me.”

    “Like home.” Bucky mumbled. “Never gonna want to leave.”

    Steve inhaled sharply and his stroke stuttered for a beat. “Yeah?”

    Bucky nodded jerkily into his shoulder. “Yeah.”

    Steve tightened his grip on Bucky’s hair and started stroking him faster. He closed his eyes and murmured into Bucky’s ear, “I love you, Buck. So damn much.”

    “I love you too, Stevie.” Bucky said breathlessly.

    “God, it’s gonna feel so good to have you inside of me.” A kiss to his temple. “Stretching me open.” A kiss to his eyebrow. “Filling me up.” A kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Taking me home.”

    “Fuck, Stevie, I’m gonna…”

    “Go on. Come for me.” Steve murmured, pressing another kiss to Bucky’s temple.

    Bucky groaned and his hips stuttered as his orgasm spilled over Steve’s stomach. Steve kept stroking him until Bucky nudged him with his forehead. They stayed like that, Steve cradling Bucky’s head and Bucky hovering over him, for a moment; just enjoying being close to one another. Bucky sighed and said, “We should get cleaned up.”

    “Don't think my legs are gonna work right at the moment.” Steve said, nuzzling Bucky’s hair.

    “I'll carry you.” Bucky mumbled, shifting his weight.

    “I can deal with that.” Steve murmured.

    Bucky snorted and pulled back to look at Steve. “I'd kiss you, but I'm pretty sure that you would hit me if I tried.

    Steve snorted and pulled Bucky down to press a kiss to his forehead. “Probably. C’mon, let's get this off me before it dries.”

    Bucky smiled gently and pushed himself up and off of Steve. He pulled Steve up with him and herded them towards the bathroom. Steve’s legs were a little wobbly and he sort of felt like a baby deer, but he knew that Bucky would catch him if he fell so he wasn’t that worried.

    As Bucky brushed his teeth, Steve took out his hearing aids and turned them off. He set them down on the sink counter and placed his glasses next to them. Glancing over at his boyfriend, he pressed a kiss to Bucky’s shoulder as he passed by on his way to the shower. He turned the water on and hopped in, knowing Bucky would join him shortly. He quickly washed off Bucky’s cum and watched it as it slipped down the drain with the rest of the soapy water. He felt rather than heard Bucky slip in behind him and shifted so that Bucky could get under the spray as well.

    Bucky pressed a kiss to Steve’s shoulder and grabbed his bottle of body wash. Steve hummed softly and turned around to look at Bucky. Bucky shot him a shy smile and signed, _Did I do good?_

    “Fuck yes.” Steve said, grinning. He pulled Bucky down for a kiss and smiled as their lips met. He tasted like toothpaste, which wasn't surprising in the least, but it wasn’t his own toothpaste. Cheeky bastard had used Steve’s instead; not that Steve cared, it was just amusing. Steve ran his fingers through Bucky's hair and murmured, “You were fucking spectacular, Buck.”

    Bucky let his hands drift up and down Steve’s back, lazily washing him. He ducked his head and smiled to himself. Steve stood on the balls of his feet and pressed another kiss against Bucky’s lips. Bucky hummed and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss. Steve’s lips parted slightly and Bucky gently ran his tongue over Steve’s bottom lip.

    Pulling back slightly, Steve looked up at Bucky through his lashes and murmured, “We keep this up and we’ll be going for round two shortly.”

    Bucky quirked a brow and let his gaze rake over Steve’s body. Steve shivered slightly but didn’t shy away. Bucky leaned in and pressed another kiss to the corner of Steve’s mouth as his hands drifted down to squeeze Steve’s ass. In response, Steve just chuckled and tilted his head to press a firm kiss against Bucky’s lips.

    Steve wasn’t sure how long they stayed there, just kissing and using the excuse of washing the other to grope each other, but eventually the water ran ice cold and Steve started to shiver. Bucky reached over and shut the water off. He grabbed two towels and handed one to Steve. Steve shot him a grateful smile and wrapped it around his waist. Bucky dried off and wrapped the towel around his waist. Looking up at Steve, he sighed, _Take your nighttime medicine. I’ll go feed the cats and get them settled for the night._

    Steve nodded and quickly brushed a kiss against Bucky’s lips then turned his attention to the medicine cabinet. Bucky smiled at him then headed out to deal with the cats. Steve took his meds and made a mental note to call in his refills tomorrow. After brushing his teeth, he headed back into the bedroom to wait. He didn’t bother changing out of his towel, instead he just laid there on the bed and closed his eyes while he waited for Bucky to get back.

    When he felt the bed dip, Steve opened his eyes and smiled at Bucky, who was also still only wearing a towel. He signed, _Are the cats doing okay?_

 _They’re fine. A little miffed at us, but fine._ Bucky replied. He brushed Steve’s bangs out of his eyes and smiled gently. Steve sighed contently and leaned into Bucky’s touch. Bucky chuckled and laid down next to him, shifting closer and continuing to play with his hair.

    Steve looked over at him and murmured, “I love you, Buck.”

    Bucky smiled, warm and easy. He leaned over and pressed a kiss right below Steve’s ear and said, “I love you too, Stevie.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sexual Content Warning: dirty talk, copious amounts of groping and teasing, rimming, fingering, and shower groping

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this wonderful story by derekstilinski](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1557569) and that hipster/punk au that's been floating around Tumblr for ages.
> 
> I have everything planned out, I just don't know how long it's going to end up being or how long it's going to take me to write everything.
> 
> Everything is as realistic as I can make it and I'm trying really hard to keep all the characters true to themselves. If you have any criticisms or critics I'd love to hear them! And, as always, encouragements are always welcome.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Cover for "Signed, Sealed, Delivered" by NeverBeenSane](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2743601) by [Lovesfic (me23)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/me23/pseuds/Lovesfic)




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